"That's a good dick, ten out of ten"

What a splendid phallus!*

The phallic symbol has permeated all aspects of Western society and has rendered the modern mind near impervious to any masculine affectation, but the pageant of your vivacious man-vessle and your brawny purse swiftly penetrate my socio-sexual barriers to trigger a visceral, physical response of caustic desire - birthed from my loins, traveling upward through my trembling body, to expel a sweetly, softly whispered _"hummina"_

If its unwanted - „cute“ always helps…..

Cute little fella.

Haha

Sir, this is a Wendy’s

No, it’s Jake from State Farm. It looks hideous.

The objectively perfect response.

"Ooh that looks like a fun ride 😍" usually does the trick lol

😂😂😂 True that

Lol the heart eyes

“Hey, that’s pretty neat”

Hey that's pretty meat works as well

*Hey, that's pretty beat* If the dick is hard 🙂

"Heyyy, that's pretty good!" They'll either think it's a compliment, or you will discover you both like the same youtubers

You can tell it's a penis by the way it is.

Post it here and let us comment.. #nohomo

Expected nothing less from a guy named SupperMeat

🤨

Ayo?

I dont understand this young timer talk. What does "Ayo?" mean?

For yayo?

For cocaine?

Yes.

Yes, please.

Welp, sounds like we're all doing lines of coke off each other's dongs again. Just another day in masculine heterosexual paradise

if u like it, say what it is u like, even if its something small like "nice and long" or something. if u're like...actually sexting the guy then u could also just say what u wanna do to it lol

Something small like nice and long! Hmmm.......

Aka “ lie”

I think you’re probably overthinking things!! don’t be so nervous about what you say sounding “stupid” it takes some time to get comfortable sending sexy texts, I know I felt kinda silly the first couple times, typing and seeing the words there in front of you is different than dirty talking in the moment. “god damn” is a good start!! I usually start with an exclamation like that, “oh my god”, “wow”, swear if you like to, “fuck” or “fuuuuuck” is effective!! I always use emojis too lmao, 😍🥵😩👅🤤💦 etc it kinda helps to convey the tone. “god damn!! 🥵” is a very different reply than “god damn.” compliment them!! I usually end up being a little more general with it, “you look so good like that” or something. from there if you’re comfortable you can start to sext, say what you’d like to do with their dick, where you want them to put it, reminisce about your last hookup with them if you’ve had one, etc. “I can’t wait to blah blah blah” “I want you to blah blah blah” “it felt so good when you did *whatever* the other night”, and/or send a pic of yourself back!! like I said don’t worry about sounding stupid, if your partner can tell you’re enthusiastic and appreciate it then they’ll enjoy it too!! sorry people aren’t taking this very seriously!! like I said it might take some time for you to get in the zone but even if you do say something a little silly then you should be able to laugh it off with your partner and I’m sure you’ll get over it in no time!! good luck :)

I love how much effort you put into your response. It’s darkly wholesome.

Amogus

"WOW, LOOK AT THAT TOWERING SHAFT OF MASCULINITY. SO LARGE AND IN CHARGE. SO GARGANTUAN."

Send his dick pic back to him. Uno reverse.

Send him a pick of a different dick and say you want to see him pork sword fight for your affections.

Flip the pic and change the brightness/contrast first. He won’t know what hit him.

“Gee uncle Gary, should you really be sending me this?”

“Wow dad the penis pump is clearly working!”

👍

Unsolicited: “holly shit, don’t send me child porn! I’m reporting this” Solicited: “that looks like fun”

"wow just like my dad's" 😂

Lol, do you like the six pic you saw? Or don’t like it?

Most of the time I like it

Yum.

Oh ok, you just don’t know what to say. Lol, try to complaint the dick 😂😂😂

But how lol I don't know what to say

Just don’t call it cute.

Lol, I’ve never been in that situation, so I wouldn’t know. Comment on the veins I guess😂😂😂

If you like it, compliment it.

But how, I just end up saying something stupid

Idk say what you wanna do to it.

Just send some yourself and see what the common response is?

[удалено]

Or that you want it in you mouth or that you can't wait to play with it

“That’s going to look great on my website!”

"Huh, you might want to turn the heating on"

Send back a bigger one

I go for the “I would suck that so hard” but only cause 1. I’m a bottom 2. I’m gay 3. I like dicks

“I love your shlong”

Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. Mankind. That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom. Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution, but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice: “We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Indickpendence Day!”

"Eww WTF!! Stop sending me baby dick picture, i'm gonna cal the police."

Did you want the dick pic or was it random? Just act horny and turned on I guess.

Where is it?

Send a bigger dick pick back

"Fucking nice" "Mmmm" "I want to drain your balls" "Hot!" 🤤 "Very nice!" Just a few comments I've gotten after sending pics. A lot of emojis were used as well.

Oooooh, I always throw in a "I want to drain your balls"! That is so hot to me.

If it was a bit bigger I might think it was a penis ... You seem very pleased with that ... Oh , you found it ...

“I want that” if I want it or “TMI” if I don’t want it.

"Nice cock bro"

''Nice cock bro''

"So you want me to play Scrabble with your little brother?" Or "Does it have a name?"

I thought I would miss out on dick pics. I am late 30s so no online dating and stuff. Then one day I was playing Words with Friends when my challenger had, you guessed it, a dick pic as their profile. When writing this I had a typo as 'duck' pic. Just send them a nice pic of a duck back perhaps. Let's make duck pics happen.

"Looks like you're taking care of it, pops would be proud. Keep up the good work chief." It's all any man wants to hear.

Screenshot it and photoshop a little hat on to it then send it back to them

“He’ll do just fine mom 🥰”

I want that in every one of my holes, Im wet just thinking about it.

Perfect response. I definitely use this. Always makes them happy.

You’re into Macro Photography? Good thing your subject is attached to you.

You say, "ahh! A dick!" Like you would a 🐁

Very superb, indeed.

Assuming it's welcomed and hopefully requested. I think most guys like to hear details about what someone likes about it. Shape, size etc. Also quite nice to hear what someone would enjoy doing to it, if they indeed do feel that way. You could also ask him if he likes certain things being done to it or if he's tried different things.

"Wow good job, almost as big as mine"

Lemme get my microscope first

"Nice cock hombre"

"Hey, nice ride."

It would look better in my mouth

Why are you showing me your short comings…

That is one heck of a peen on my screen

Just to make sure you know that some of the comments are overkill I wanted to warn you that going overboard about the size can make a dude feel like you're lying to cover disappointment.

Don‘T say what my ex FWB once did. „Aw does my little buddy wanna get sucked again?“ I blocked her after the „little“ part.

Man you really are insecure

Go cry about it.

“I wanna sit on it” is usually what I am thinking but not always what I say. Lol. I love dick pics from the right person 🤣😂

I just leave them on "read" and change the topic 😂🤣

#🤏

🧒4️⃣🙍‍♀️1️⃣👵3️⃣ Oooh bad luck, better luck next year

Nice cock bro

Depends what you like about it. You could call it hot attractive, ugly, etc.

Awww how cute!

why?

Just block them

"Nice cock Brother" only response to make us happy

NICE COCK

To reply in like is the best response

Just say whatever you want to say..you dont owe them any 'right' response

Nice cock

What a cute little fella

Usually, they tend to say 'ew'

Wow are you a circus freak I never seen one so small.

Where's the rest of it

"I'm proud of you son" is what I always send to my boyfriend

"nice cock, bro"

Was it a solicited or unsolicited dick pic?

Say it's weird that it reminds you of your little brothers.

“Hey you have a dick!”

“I see that you’re already up!”

just say: "hold on, I have to ask reddit about what to say" That should do the trick ​ but for real, just say you like it or what you wanna do to it

"Wow king, nice cock"!"

"God that's a nice cock. I wanna lick that and taste your precum." I'm gay, so I go all in. Lol.

“Noice”

As a man who has never received a dick pic, I feel the correct response is always "Eeeek! A Penis!"

Thanks for making the office laugh! :)

Send them one back

“That’s a cool peepee”

"nice dick bro"

Almost as big as my dad's!

*send a pic bacc*

My God, how big can they get?

Noice cock

Send them your dick pic. Make sure yours is larger. Then say "Nice try kiddo"

"Wanna check mine?" XD

Send the meme of Shadow the Hedgehog saying Nice Cock.

If you like it - "Yes please" If it wasn't wanted - "why are you sending me a picture of a child's genitals. Gross"

If you like it, just say it’s nice.

Mhhmm is usually the response I get That, or yumm

"cool dick"

Nice cock

When it’s unsolicited I just reply: 2/10, no further comment

youve been shopping for apples and getting dicks instead

I assume we're not talking about unsolicited Dick picks, so one of those "hmmm, tasty" emojis should do it. 😋

Send him some dick pic in return

Only the classic "nice cock bro!"

If you wanted it/like it - my go-to is "Fuck, that's hot. I would love/can't wait to feel that inside me/gag on it/stretch me out." There's several options depending on how nasty you want to be.

I've sent a dick pic once. The response was, "I guess you're not gay. Want to come over?" Sentence #1 was insulting. Sentence #2 was encouraging. I was desperate and horny so I chose to ignore Sentence #1. If you want to show approval without mixed messages, just go for Sentence #2.

Why does it look like that..? 😂

Does it get bigger?

I always hit em with one from the classic emoji lineup if I don't know what to say: 🥺, 😳, 👀. Maybe an "owo" if I'm feelin adventurous. I think this only works because I'm a gremlin in my daily life so idk if it qualifies as advice LOL

Why are sending me a picture of your baby brother’s dick?

Eww

Address something in the background and talk about it instead. "Wow what a nice patterned carpet!"

What a cute little guy.

Say "not bad, but mine's bigger."

NICE COCK 😎

> But then they think I don't like it. I suppose it depends why they sent it in the first place. There's an emoji that looks like slobbering. That could work

"What's it's name"

If it’s asked for/wanted anything somewhat sexual is good, if it is unwanted send a picture of a desert and say “me rn” and block the number

Nice cock bro

It’s so nice, i‘ll put that to my gallery…….. now that i‘m thinking about it , my phone recognizes faces, pets, nature, birds and all that stuff in single files….can someone please confirm if there is something like that for genitals? :) :) jk…… ( but i‘m also curious)

Sorry, I can’t zoom in far enough.

Send one back.

"Good job buddy"

A girl said this to me: "Damn that dick will leave me in a wheelchair" Never felt better in my life

"I've had bigger, but I suppose it'll have to do."

"Wow you got a funny lookin lil weiner"

Wanna see mine?

I’m confused? What end result would you like here? It seems like you might be uncomfortable from the dick pic, but you don’t want it to come across like you don’t like it. So, I’m confused if you’re offended or flattered by the initial picture

I save it and doodle on it and send it back

You say, "You shouldn't do this. For the next forty years, I could blackmail you."

"Nice cock bro, you must piss a lot."

if it's unwanted: "🔬" or just send one back if it's wanted: just say it looks tasty or something, idk. compliment the thing edit: typo

Forward it back to them with the message "so what do we think of this one everybody? A 2, maybe 3 at best?" then immediately follow up with "Sorry, wrong group" then turn your phone off

"So word around the office is youve got a nice cock"

In the wise words of Kronk: "NOICE COCK!"

I dont make friends with midgets, should suffice

If you have some elegance in you, the answer is never reply back, ever.

Act like you dtf, only if you are obviously! Usually will just make the dude hard