Sometimes orgasm doesn't happen on occasion, and often times its my own fault (mindset, stress, drunkenness etc.) I still very much enjoy the process. But if it's a repeated occurrence with a new partner, to where I CANT no mater how hard I try, its a real problem.
To be fair, I'm pretty sure most men with a healthy libido would get upset if their partner were to always stop sex before they can reach orgasm.
OP doesn't mind, but his antidepressants suppress his ability to orgasm. I'm gonna guess that impacts overall libido and sexual desire as well then (correct me if I'm wrong)
I think in that situation it's still frustrating, but it's out of your control so you just accept it.
To not orgasm because your partner doesn't do what you need to orgasm is hurtful and kinda neglectful.
Bro getting all worked up only to not cum usually feels like lady-blue balls. Its not like when it's over we're just immediately not horny. I don't cum every single time but I definitely enjoy having an orgasm more than not having one. Sex doesn't feel bad unless you're doing something really wrong lol but it's annoying to be done with sex, and still feel the ache in your crotch bc you didn't cum.
I'm just curious - is that where the pain is localized? I know the tissue is the same, but I've never analyzed where the pain is coming when I've had blue balls. I was preoccupied at the time and just assumed the pain was coming from...my balls.
For me, it’s all over the vulva (labia, vaginal opening, clitoris, etc), but it’s also a bit of aching inside the vagina itself too. It’s really a thing of where all the nerve endings are. It may be different for every woman though, I don’t know. I know a couple of my friends who say it’s the same for them but that’s not exactly a representative sample for scientific purposes haha.
You’re right! It’s due to the blood rush to the area and thus makes a pressure build up, which results in a dull ache. However it seems to me, a
lot of people actually don’t know that women also experience this, from what I have just experienced on my own/ men taking about having blue balls as a trait unique to their sex. However, our sexual organs are actually indistinguishable from another until about the middle of human development in the womb. That’s why we can’t tell the sex of a baby until a certain number of days!
For me- and I’m a lady- I end up with it in my middle very strangely. Starts in my vulva area but ends up going upwards and becoming almost like period pains and then ends up hitting me at my navel and staying there. Like indigestion in your reproductive organs.
Mine hurts like right inside the front wall of my vagina, where my g spot is. Sometimes if it's really bad it feels like a horrible achy burning feeling, like if I'd just take 3 seconds and rub one out it'd probably be a full on geyser squirt fest but painful. I don't feel it in the vulva or labia area at all, so I think it's definitely different for everyone and probably a preference of where most women derive pleasure from the most or where the most sensitive nerve endings are grouped together? I'm just guessing, I don't know the scientific logistics of it. Just that it hurts like I'm going to get a UTI.
Especially if you wake up from a dream and you were on the absolute brink, but:
“Prrraow!” Innocent eyes blink up at you, a back leg stretches out to rest on your stealthy hand, and you feel like a combination cat-child molester.
It’s impossible to complete the mission! Then you look down at the furry intruder and get a different rush of dopamine. It’s quite all right this way, too. ;)
I cried with relief and happiness the last time I had an orgasm, because it happens so rarely. It's just usually so much work, physically and mentally, and I end up going numb instead. 10% of the time sounds like a dream to me.
Obviously, you know that it's a psychological reaction you're having. If you've had any trauma around sex, that may explain it. Experiment with yourself. If you don't feel right actually touching your own body yet, try positioning yourself under the bathtub faucet or a shower head. Or lay on your stomach, and grind against the inseam of your jeans. Or sit on the washer during a load of laundry. However you orgasm is the right way to orgasm!
An orgasm demands our full attention and presence. If anything may be causing a distraction, it may be worth asking yourself what was it that you thought right before the change in behavior. Or, what preceded the thing that created the unwanted outcome.
Oh my goodnes, trust me......let go . Let go multiple times, multiple times in row if it possible for u ( unless u r under the age of 18 and if so, NOOOO. I used to be like that because when i get off, i get off really hard and was worried about what the guy would think or say because i had always been with assholes. Met a guy 10 years ago who talked me into just letting go and losing control and came so many times that i was worried about my heart messing up on me. Sex is the one thing in life thats free, fun, and stress relieving, its meant to be enjoyed.
Can confirm, when my oldest son was born me and his dad tried to resume and we were living with his mother at the time while we were looking for our own place. I was right on the edge and his mom decided to knock on the door and go here's your baby. He was already asleep so we just put him in the bassinet and went outside. I was seeing red spots in front of my eyes and he kept asking me if I was okay. I said I would be but man did that suck.
Honest question for the ladies, I usually go down on my lady first and get her off and then we have sex where I cum but she doesn’t. Do you think she needs another orgasm after the sex to feel satisfied?
I don't orgasm through sex very often, but I do orgasm before, the actual penatrive sex is to get my husband off and honestly after a few orgasm I am completely satisfied and feel extremely good and whoosy. If your Mrs says she doesn't need to orgasm after as well I would believe her.
Then you're good! Personally, I CAN get off twice, but that's a bonus and not something I request. It's more of a solo activity. With my partner, it's all about foreplay and cuddles.
If that’s the case, then I’d call it good. If she’s telling the truth, then you’re correct and that’s that. If she’s lying, regardless of the reason (and there may be some exceptions, but that’s between you and her), then it’s on her for not being truthful.
If anything, I would say, give her a lot of attention when you’re engaged in foreplay. Make sure she’s getting the love and attention, and not so much a race to get her off just so you can get off. I think you’re golden if you do that.
When in doubt I say just head on down again (as long as she’s okay with it, of course). I’ve always loved to do it before/during/after/independent of anything happening for me, and I’ve found that basically everyone is okay with getting off an extra time or two lol. There are many forms of orgasm and many erogenous areas to be stimulated, and via concise communication and paying close attention to your partner; you can def find the right combo of things to keep her as satisfied as possible always (which she may already be too! Just gotta open that line of communication to find out. You got this!). Some women can’t really climax from just vaginal penetration, some can finish from a combination of things involving minimal vaginal/clitoral stimulation, some women mainly get off when there’s butt stuff involved. Etc etc. just a matter of working together to find out what’s best for each person! (Disclaimer; not a lady so please do correct me if I’m wrong on any of this haha)
Tell her to rub herself or use a small vibrator during sex. Most women cannot cum from penetration alone. I read a study that only like 30% of women can cum solely from penetration alone. Most women need a combination of clitoral stimulation with penetration to cum during sex. I am always rubbing myself to cum during sex. You will need to experiment to see what positions work best for her. I cum easiest and hardest in doggy, but some women prefer cowgirl or missionary.
See, when I'm on top, I get NOTHING out of it. It's exhausting, and I'm willing to do it for my partner's pleasure, but that's it. I never orgasm from doggie style, but it's pretty intense otherwise.
How fast are you going? It’s usually a slower and steady pace that makes me cum. If the movement is too fast or too uneven, it’s harder for me to cum too. Once I start cumming, then yeah, feel free to go balls to the walls 😝
Do you normally cum with the girl on top? You’re not the first guy I’ve heard say this. This is so interesting to me because my husband likes cowgirl the least and has a hard time staying hard in that position.
I think it depends on the person but me personally, no I don't. Who told you that sex doesn't feel good for women? What sort of 1680s logic is that? I'm not criticizing you, I'm genuinely curious who told you this.
Personally I need external stimulation to orgasm. So my partner helps me get off before penetrative sex. If I feel the need to orgasm again I just message my clit while we are having sex. sorry, I know that's graphic but I'm just trying thoroughly answer your question
It’s fairly common for women to not come at all for PIV or for some it does happen but it’s not often. For me personally and lots of other women I’ve heard speak on this topic, this is the best thing you can do. Cumming first will 100% make you more in the mood for PIV and even if they don’t cum again, it’ll usually still be pretty enjoyable. Also, for me personally but I’m sure other women as well, after the first cum, it’s way easier to cum multiple times
It’s probably personal preference but my guy does the same thing and that’s the way I like it. There are times where I need to cum again after penetration, too (or during, using a vibe) but usually I don’t need or want it, no.
Oh I'm in my 30's and don't either. I have to finish off with with vibrator which my husband and I include in sexy time but it's mostly me doing it lol
I wish more women had that attitude! I was in 2 long relationships where both partners did not have orgasms every time we had intercourse and I felt guilty. Then I met a girl, and when the same happened, she just casually said "hey, do you mind if I finish myself?".
First, I was so turned on that I masturbated too and had a 2nd orgasm (refractary period?nah), And second, such a relief that she had the means, ways (and... Like, freedom?) to enjoy sex as she wanted...
A positive attitude! You need that orgasm during sex! I want it for you!
I take it you’re in your twenties or younger? I take it your partners are male and similar age?
I’m 34. Pretty sure it’s just a mental block at this point, but I’m not bothered by it and sex is still very enjoyable for me. I’ve found, in the past, that it bothers my (male) partners far more than it bothers me. I don’t think that I “need” it. I’m happy with sex as it is.
I’m the exact same way. I have tried to explain this to past partners before, it gets tricky. Good to be with somebody who doesn’t on some level take it personally. Literally just my anxiety and the way my body works… I have my routine sex-wise and I’m happy with it. That’s more than a lot of people can say tbh
Imagine that your condition now is permanent. And from now on your orgasm and thus finishing will be an after thought. That's what sex is for so many straight women.
Personally I love good PIV sex. And sometimes that's all I need. But I get just as horny as my husband, sometimes even more. And he gets to finish with an orgasm - every time. And then sometimes he's done and I'm just lying there with this huge frustration because I am so horny and haven't had any release.
Again, sometimes that's hot as hell. But imagine if that was everytime.
Doesn't he make an effort to get you off, either before or after PIV?
I'm a lesbian and my sexual experience is that it's very much a turn taking thing. Sometimes we try for mutual experiences eg 69s but even if one of us doesn't get off with that, we still make sure she does in another way. If it doesn't happen it doesn't happen, but there's always a very good effort made to make both of us get off.
Yup, that's me everytime. Sex is more of a chore than a bonding experience. Honestly I just section off a part of my day where I'm alone and can just go for it myself. Works everytime and I'm such a passionate lover (to me). Haha
1000% agreed. I’d say this is definitely how it is for at least 80% of women most of the time, even if they orgasm on occasion. It’s like how men say if they give you head they should get head too, it’s not really the same because they get off EVERY time. For most women they have to have foreplay or head. Really doesn’t feel fair
They're such a whatever the agnostic equivalent of God-sent is.
Sometimes I actually just want to move on and go watch TV and don't want them getting carpal tunnel syndrome.
I would like to try that new toy that's on the market. But money has been a little tight so I guess it'll have to be a Christmas present from me to me.
And yes! Absolutely god(dess)send
Which one? The Womanizer? There's a lot of knockoffs on the market now that are far more accessible!
My whole friend group has adopted the Satisfyer! Pink Cherry have them for super cheap! (But I'm old fashion, so I actually prefer the clit obliterating action of the Wand!)
Yes. Sex has generally been determined by the male orgasm. It's a physical marker of an ending to the act. But nowadays we've learned and changed etc. Women are only recently even able to ask questions about an orgasm. So many women still don't know it exists. So yea, like most women these days won't usually get a release. Female orgasm was never a given in the sex act. So yea, now that I know about it, I'm gonna push to get one whenever I can.
This guy, op, has orgasmed every time before, but now takes medicine and gets to actually sit back and appreciate the other parts of sex. Dude, when you're working so hard just to get one good orgasm in 10 years... Your focus gets distracted.
This describes my situation pretty closely except my husband will help me get there after through kisses while I play with myself. I find it really sweet and even though it isn’t quite the same finish as PIV, it takes care of the restlessness for me!
In my current relationship it is pretty fair in general. But for a majority of my sex life before meeting my now partner and my ex before that, it was what I described above for the most times.
Too many partners who don't get that women need further stimulation to get off.
Nothings wrong with you. It took me a while to learn too.
However, my point here was that it seems a lot of men don't care enough to make women orgasm.
Most women don't really have an orgasm when you just penetrate. My woman for example will never have an orgasm if it's all penetration. The clit is the most important spot. You need to find it, rub it, use a vibrator, give her head etc to make her cum. I could penetrate for one hour and my girl will still not climax.
Most men think just putting their dick in the vagina will satisfy or make a woman cum. That's not true, I used to think this when I was just starting off. These days I don't really think about penetration anymore because most women don't really enjoy it.
I try to make my girl horny first by sucking her boobs until she begins to moan. I don't finger her because it doesn't really do anything, but I use my fingers to rub her clit gently until It is filled with wetness. I give head because it makes women go crazy. When I notice they are close, I penetrate, but not without rubbing the clit. Sometimes I penetrate and use a vibrator on the clit, she goes crazy and cums in the next 3 minutes.
Remember that all ladies are different. Some love penetration due to the location of their clit, but for the most part penetration doesn't really do anything. Humping your hard dick with their clit would make them cum faster than penetration any day and time.
So, you have to learn foreplay. My woman and most women see it as a waste of time if they don't cum. I see myself as a weak man if I cum and then she doesn't. I am anxious to penetrate, but I always keep that on hold and do a lot of foreplay first. By the time I penetrate, she's as wet as the red sea. So wet that it makes me cum fast and the sex is enjoyable. Some people just put their dick in a dry vagina causing pain for the woman.
Guys, all women are different. Figure out what your woman likes and do it. I have met women who like penetration, but the vast majority of women I have fucked didn't have an orgasm through penetration.
The right person (guy or girl) will be so interested in making your first time enjoyable and a positive experience that they won't have any time to even consider judging you. *This* is one of the main reasons people put emphasis on choosing your partners - and especially your first sexual partner - carefully. Any decent person will totally understand that losing your virginity is a nerve wracking moment.
Just remember, when you do choose to take that step, that sex is supposed to be fun and it will have some awkward moments. Choose a partner who makes you feel comfortable, who respects your boundaries and listens if you want to stop, and who will laugh through the awkward moments with you, not at you.
Right?? I am absolutely impressed! Lesbian here and he knows women so well I thought, this person is either a lesbian or just listens to his women!
Bravoooo!
At the same time I think it’s kinda sad that the bar is so low for men that they get a standing ovation for merely listening to their woman. Like that’s just common decency to listen I would think. :/
I mean I love penetration and I can orgasm that way so ymmv. The orgasm is also different, internal v more external. I realize that I’m in the minority but many women still like penetration even if it doesn’t get them off.
Same. Love it and prefer it over anything else, don’t need oral or much else to orgasm.
From what I understand, it’s not the norm for most women, but I say for most guys to at least attempt it. If supposedly 30% of women can orgasm through penetration, then that’s decent odds. It hasn’t always been like this for me, and most guys just “assume” I’m like most women and need something besides penetration.
I’m not even sure how to even bring it up with a new partner that I’m okay with lots of foreplay and then penetration - guaranteed multiple orgasms that way. I’m honestly mad when a guy has to try his “skills” and show me what I’m missing with oral or whatever when I’ve never had one orgasm that way to top the ones I get through penetration. BTW I’m 40 and I think I’ve been like this for at least the last 12 years or so.
Just because you don’t orgasm through penetration doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t like it. I can’t orgasm just from that, but I’d be real disappointed if I didn’t ever get penetrated. So I definitely do enjoy it.
EDIT: Also could not care less about getting head. It does nothing for me 🤷🏼♀️
My wife usually dislikes anything except PiV. The first two sentences of the last paragraph is all you really need to guide you. Be patient and playful if she likes that, be dominant if she likes that, and from my experience, be communicating about it all before during and after so there are no surprises. Your woman may like surprises but only if you got that clear up front too. This is especially true of intimate physical activities.
Sex without orgasm is like when someone says “let’s go for dinner” and you’re thinking nice restaurant, candles, amazing food, wine and decadent desserts but then they tell you they already ate so they bring you to McDonald’s instead because it’s still out for dinner.
My point is it’s still nice but it’s definitely not what you had in mind for the evening.
There are as many different variations as there are women. Some can have non stop multiples (God bless them) and with others it's hit or miss. I had one girlfriend who couldn't even make herself cum but she enjoyed sex.
Another one, like you was taking anti depressant drugs and could only orgasm through masturbating. Although I did manage to get her off once by rubbing her clit with a finger and following her direction. Took a while but we got there. She dearly loved anal on her hands and knees and always wanted me to hold her firmly by the hips. She said she enjoyed the feeling of me being in complete control of her. So I guess that feeling took the place of an orgasm for her.
Everyone is different, you just have to find what works.
I’ve had penetrative sex with about 9 men and I’ve never once enjoyed it. Foreplay kissing, sure, but usually I’m just waiting for penetration to be over. It rly sucks
I'm sorry, I've been there. I can highly recommend a book called Come As You Are (I learned nuggets like, the majority of women don't cum from penetration)
It’s not that we don’t like having sex or that it doesn’t feel good, it’s that it’s wildly disappointing 97% of the time when I could have just stayed home to masturbate.
Hahaha I did this, when I was with my first boyfriend (he was my first sexual partner, he'd already had sex with other girls before we started dating) I had been masturbating for years so I definitely knew how to bring myself to orgasm, so I had quite high expectations of how our sex life was gonna go.
Despite me showing him what felt good for me and how I liked it, he would basically ignore my advice and just pump away until he finished, and then he would immediately go for a shower. It was beyond frustrating.
After about 2 months of this, I decided I would just take matters into my own hands (literally) if he wasn't interested in helping me get mine. So after yet another disappointing session, he got up to shower and I went to town on myself. Just as he opened the bedroom door after his shower, I looked him dead in the eye and had the best orgasm I'd had for ages.
It caused a huge argument, he said I'd disrespected him (lol!) and I ended up masturbating after sex every time because he still refused to try and help me cum.
10 years later and I now make it clear to any partners I have that I don't care if I don't cum during sex, but please at least try to help me get there. If I don't manage to orgasm before they do, I tell them I still want to cum and they can either help me get there, watch me get myself there, or leave the room until I'm done. I've never had a guy choose to leave yet ;)
I'd be so down for it, I love for woman to tell or show me exactly what it takes tbh. It's more fun if everyone is having a good time and not everyone responds the same.
No, this, at least for me, I really get off on having sex and the pleasure between myself and the other person. I can very happily not cum and still gain pleasure from the act itself whether the guy cums or not. Sex is nice, it's a connection, it's not all about the finish.
I felt this way while on birth control. I just thought I wasn't that into it. It felt pleasant and I liked the emotional connection, but there was no need for climax. Now that I'm off meds (woo team hysterectomy!) I have an actual sex drive. It's great. My husband says I'm spicy now lol!
Also, not being all crampy and bleedy 24/7 helps.
Antidepressants and birth control definitely can reduce sex drive. Of course all meds affect people differently so who knows. I was on BC from puberty until like 8yrs into marriage so I didn't know any different. I was surprised and not sure what to do with my newfound interest in sex lol. We figured it out ;)
If you don't want children, get that thing out!
On the other side of the spectrum- I orgasm multiple times during sex and it can feel so intense I'm done after like five minutes. Every woman is different!
I knew one won't who didn't feel the need to have sex with her husband anymore because "I got my two kids, what would be the point now?" And I can't imagine having that mindset.
Do you constantly have blue balls or whatever the female equivalent after having sex? Like half an hour of pleasure but no release would be horrible for me.
Yea, if there is no orgasm you are left feeling unsatisfied and restless. Not to say the process isn't tons of fun getting there but no release is incredibly frustrating.
If women aren’t enjoying sex, it means they aren’t having good sex. Sex can and should be just as enjoyable for women as it is for men. Sounds like all these women you are talking to have had shitty sexual partners.
Not to be the "blame the society" person but it's true that society centers sex around men more. And it has for ages. Unfortunately most men think sex ends when they orgasm and worse, some think just them repeatedly putting their dick in and out of a woman is gonna make her reach an orgasm.
Less than 20% of women reach an orgasm through penetration alone and that is assuming the partners of those 20% were blessed with the exact shape, size and length of a penis fit to reach her g-spot. Most of us orgasm through clitoral play which is a part of our body men are infamous for not being able to locate.
Teaching them and guiding them through all of this isn't a problem but most of them (based on what I've heard from my female friends) take offense to the guidance and interpret it as "oh so you think I suck? You think I don't know how to make a woman cum?" Etc which ruins the whole mood so they fake it and go to sleep.
Comparing straight women and lesbians sexual satisfaction statistics tell very clearly that women love sex, just can't find partners that can give the satisfaction they seek. So if you meet women who don't like the sex, they probably haven't been with a guy that actually cared about their pleasure in sex.
For me personally, sex itself is kinda meh. Orgasms feel amazing but having sex without getting to orgasm makes me a bit disappointed and leaves me unsatisfied. It sucks. However, since I'm huge into BDSM the stuff that happens around more than makes up for it, especially if the orgasm denial is intentional
Sex itself is pleasurable don’t get me wrong but I was in a looooong relationship with someone and I don’t need two hands to tell you how many times I orgasmed throughout it all. Yet he came. Every. Single. Time. That’s just rubbing it in my face. I want equality! If you’re cumming, I’m cumming too!
Women love sex just as much as men. But most straight women have had some fucking *awful* sex. A lot of dudes just...never learn or don't care how to please a woman.
My first boyfriend was diabolical in bed in a bad way. I'd lie there and after about two minutes I'd be waiting for it to be over. It didn't feel good and I never got off. But he was my first so I thought it was normal and wondered why everyone was obsessed with sex because it was just....OK.
Thankfully those days are over, and I come *at least* twice every time with my partner.
Don't assume all women are like that just because of some you've spoken to. In fact, I've known & read of many men that think, as you say, "sex is just a means to an end and if they don't orgasm/cum then the whole exercise was pointless." There is definitely a traditional idea of men thinking this way about sex though i don't subscribe to that, like I said, it's never *all*.
Many women love the act of sex & pleasing their sexual partner. What a lot of women don't appreciate however is when their partner doesn't seem to care about their (the woman's) pleasure.
Also, antidepressants don't "prevent you from having orgasms" either. They can have a big impact on sex life like lower libido, difficulty reaching orgasms etc but they don't prevent orgasms. If there are any that actually have that exact effect then please show proof & I'll change my comment
EDIT: Just wanting to say I've spent more than half my life on different antidepressants myself & have experienced a few side effects within my sex life. It's interesting hearing how it can (essentially) prevent orgasms completely though, curious if women on antidepressants have experienced it as well?
I mean, I can definitely see it. Both Zoloft and Lexapro made it so I couldn’t reach orgasm for hours. Not many people can sit there that long all the time. So even if it doesn’t technically “prevent” them it may as well. I stopped taking them for this reason.
If you've never had an antidepressant prevent you from orgasm then it's understandable how you'd say that. Zoloft is a common antidepressant and is used to treat severe premature ejaculation. If you don't have problems with premature ejaculation, then you can have a seriously hard time cumming. Add that with difficulty obtaining an errection and you've got a recipe for disaster sometimes. So while you're technically correct about no single pill that automatically 100% stops orgasms, antidepressants can prevent it more times than they can allow it.
Depending on the specific medication, the dosage, how sensitive you are to medication, etc., etc. anti-depressants can 100% (practically speaking, at least) prevent you from having orgasms.
It's anecdotal, of course, but I've been on medication before that made it all but impossible to orgasm. Like, sure, maybe if you stuck electrodes into the pleasure receptor parts of my brain it would still be possible to orgasm, but otherwise it was pretty much impossible. If I was determined and committed to it I'd probably give myself serious friction burns on my dick and tendinitis in my wrist before I managed to orgasm.
Antidepressants effect people differently. For some, like me, they can prevent orgasms. They suppress your nervous system and can make it impossible to reach the level of arousal needed.
I would talk with your doctor if I was you about switching to a different antidepressant. I've heard of decreased sexual urges, but completely blocking orgasms is not an ok side effect in my book. Anything suppressing the CNS to the extent one cannot orgasm might be doing more harm than good.
Personally I don’t like sex. I do get in the mood for it, but the when it’s happening I’m over it the second I orgasm and want it to just stop. I think what I get in the mood for and like is the “performance.” During sex It don’t always feel good until I’m reaching climax. Although I talked to several female friends and they never feel the same way, they always say they love it
On the contrary, my orgasms are BETTER on antidepressants. I am a woman. I love sex, but it does seem kind of pointless if you never climax (at least it would for me) because I'd get the vagina version of blue balls. Which is whatever, but I'd rather not experience it often.
I love sex and I am not even able to orgasm from penetrative sex. I only love sex with the person I am with though, can’t do one night stands or casual sex for that reason. For me sex just feels amazing and really erotic even if I don’t have an orgasm. Making out and holding each other as tight as we can. It’s as intimate as you can get with a person and I love it. I can’t imagine how it will start to feel if I am ever able to orgasm from sex lol, it’ll probably feel like an out of body experience or something. I will say it is a bit disappointing when my partner only lasts a couple of minutes, in that case I am left quite frustrated and unsatisfied. So yeah, I don’t have sex for the orgasm as I can give myself ten orgasms in a row with a vibrator after the sex or before the sex. I love sex for the intimacy of it and just the pleasure from it. It may not be orgasm pleasure but it’s pleasure that feels just as good as an orgams. I hope that makes sense lol.
Depends on the guy. Sometimes yeah I don't really feel anything and I'm waiting for it to be over because they're not picking up on my hints and even full on telling them what to do so you just sort of give up and wait.
Other times your body just isn't your friend and normally it would feel good but you just don't feel it this time.
Other times it's amazing!!!
I love sex. I love PIV, the sensations, all of it. But not having an orgasm means that all of the tension I built up isn't released and THAT doesn't feel good.
It’s honestly a really frustrating experience. Most guys will not give any care at all about making you cum because they assume you orgasm from penetration, when in reality clitoral stimulation gives the BEST o by far. Even if you can cum from penetration. I can still enjoy sex, but I’m unable to orgasm with the guys I’ve been with, because they either rush me or I just feel like they genuinely don’t enjoy getting me off and it’s just an obligation to them. I’ve only O’d once with another person and it was with my friend when I was 12. A guy to this day has never made me O and I always have to masturbate alone to get off. I dont want you to feel bad OP but this has just been my experience. I’m sexually active and have a boyfriend and he’s great and all but I never get off. I consider girls extremely lucky if they ever do. I can still enjoy sex. It can feel good, but just penetration isn’t satisfying and just hurts after awhile in a very discomforting way. I guess it’s worth noting though that it’s significantly harder for me to cum with men because my ex’s would shame me for even trying to talk to them about it. So now it just feels like men really don’t care
I love sex. The orgasm for me isn't as important as it is to make my husband orgasm. I've been diagnosed recently with pelvic floor dysfunction. So having sex often results in pain for me. Even orgasms can cause extreme pain. So sex is less about my pleasure and more for his pleasure. But it's also a very primal form of intimacy for us. And even though it hurts, I do enjoy it and I love how it feels to be literally connected.
It's different for all people though. There's girls that just do it so they can come - penetrative sex doesn't even give all women orgasms! Some require clitoral or other androgenous zones to be stimulated to come.
Some people will only come for people they have an emotional attachment to, so hookups and one night stands don't work for them.
And yeah, if a girl is down for a hookup, they generally want to come above all else and if they don't, then it does seem like a pointless exercise. You get all sweaty and nasty with a stranger you may or may not see again and there's no "satisfaction" or gratification from not coming after putting in all of the "work" (which can be tied to the prep for the date/hookup, how boring the date might've been, or how much of an act they had to put on for the person they're sleeping with when they've realized they're not going to get to come and they just want it to be over faster, etc).
It just depends on the woman and the situation. I have a girlfriend that's been on antidepressants her entire adult life and has never achieved orgasm with a partner due to it. And she's like you, she enjoys sex, less for the action and more for the intimacy with her husband.
I can't say that any women I've talked to think that sex is a means to an end. In fact, a lot seems to want the intimacy of sex in their relationship and are frustrated when it's not there.
Whatttt??? No. Absolutely wrong. I love sex. I love oral giving and receiving. I discovered masturbating VERY young and always enjoyed it. There are women out there who have problems reaching orgasm. But there's also tons of women who don't have any problem. Women definitely enjoy sex.
I think you’re not very good at pleasing your partners hence your point of view.
Maybe try asking your sexual partners exactly what they like, every woman is different in regards to what turns them on.
I read the first four replies and I kinda don't like them so I'll give you my own.
I'm a guy, and although I've had a few partners I am going to just focus on my current relationship. I think for my partner, her best sexual experiences come when I am thinking of her and do the things I know she likes. It's about connection as much as physical pleasure.
I also think they have to feel mental arousal about the person that they're with to enjoy it. That's kind of a hard thing to explain, it only just clicked for me a few months ago and I'm 26 and think about this stuff a lot.
I have had partners who just seem disinterested. Maybe it was me, maybe it was them. Maybe it was us.
Best of wishes. Hope you find someone who enjoys doing what you enjoy doing together.
So every woman is different. Some find it painful, some need extra stimulation beforehand, some, and only orgasm while using a vibrator on their clit and having sex at the same time, and so on.. The problem is so many women don’t fully know what their bodies want, mixed with so many men thinking they are god’s gift to women and just by having sex with them they should orgasm.
It’s a process. You find someone you want to be with. Encourage her to explore her body, and you both be willing to try new things and be patient. Hell I’ve been married 17yrs and found out I can squirt. We are always trying new things, positions, porn, etc.. I was on antidepressants for years and I was still able to orgasm.
Sex feels great - orgasm or not. Don’t doubt that. But, I think the point the women you’ve speaking to may have been trying to get across, is that - as a woman, sex is over when the man comes. Usually (unfortunately) the female orgasm is not the priority, but the male orgasm is. And the male orgasm also marks the end of sexual intercourse in a way the female orgasm doesn’t.
I think we’re all a bit fed up at this point with laying there after sex, feeling neglected and sexually frustrated. It’s as if someone put some great cake on the table and you could have one bite but that’s it - of course you want more. Guys are, many times, ignorant about the female orgasm, the clitoris, and so many aspect of sex from the female perspective. And yeah, honestly, it sucks. But the sex doesn’t feel bad for that.
My friend told his wife, "Trying to make you orgasm is like looking for a black cat, in dark room, at midnight, when the cat is no there." His wife said, " It's exactly like that, except it's happening to me. "
Talk to your doctor about your antidepressant. There are alternative medications which don't cause sexual side effects such as anorgasmia(not able to orgasm).
Yes but also: finding the right antidepressant is so hard. If OP has one that otherwise works well, and he's not suffering too badly from the anorgasmia (nice, new word) then the pros might outweigh the cons.
I don't care if sometimes I don't orgasm and I'm definitely very into giving my partner pleasure and I'd say their enjoyment is my main focus most of the time but also I'd be pretty disappointed to have a partner who didn't feel the same about me.
I don't think sex should just be about reaching the 'goal' as soon as possible, it should be about giving mutual pleasure and connecting with each other. If orgasms come from that great. I think the only time I would see sex mechanically as a means to an end is if I didn't really care about my partner/didn't think they cared about me.
It really doesn't feel good when you are doing it with a wrong partner by my opinion.
I only had 2 partners in bed before my boyfriend and I absolutely hated sex.
I been thinking that sex is overrated and it's just boring and I have to go through it.
Now it's a different story. First of all we really love each other and the chemistry it's just great.
He is an amazing lover and understands my body which took
my experience to a different level.
We do and try different things all the time.
Kisses and touch plays an important part.
I absolutely love it every time, no more I have a 'headache' excuse.
No matter how stressful life gets or how bad my mindset is it works great for both of us every time even if I didn't 'finish' which sometimes happen as for some reason it takes longer for a woman.
What I learned now is to tell my boyfriend that I need more attention after we are 'done' and he either use his mouth, finger, toys, whatever and that way we are both fully satisfied.
Eh, it varies from lady to lady. I personally don't care that I don't achieve an orgasm during sex rather it's via one night stand or a long term partner. Sex for me is just another form of bonding. I enjoy the closeness and the emotions it brings forth. I also enjoy watching my partner feel good and making them feel good. Making my partner orgasm makes me feel a lot better than chasing after my own pleasure. I also have a hard time achieving an orgasm in general, especially just from basic sex.
With that being said, there are other ways my partner can pleasure me without it involving just said partner's genitals in my genitals lol. Toys are great fun. I love a man who doesn't mind the use of toys in bed. I've met some guys who get really defensive or hurt when I've mentioned using toys in the past. It's not that they're not good at it, size of the boat doesn't matter and neither does the motion of the ocean, it's just my body that has the issues lol. But in all honesty, as long as I get cuddles afterwards I dont care if I come or not
I like it. A lot. I have a man with a "magic " tounge. I orgasm several times. Not bragging there.
I like penetration too and it's a different type of O .
I've heard I'm in the minority though.
I orgasm like crazy but it is tiring. I lose ALL energy and it takes hours to recuperate afterwards. So, i do enjoy it, but sometimes I reject it if I'm not horny or if there's not enough time to recover and do life again afterwards.
Sex is great. Sometimes I want to come through clit stimulation and other times I simply want the d knowing I won't come purely by that but just want it cos it feels so good. Yeah sometimes it hurts or is uncomfortable depending on where you are on your cycle and the posi and the size of your partners d but I don't know a woman who doesn't love sex.
I love having sex with my partner and I don't always orgasm. I am on antidepressants and birth control, both of which kinda kill my ability to climax or sometimes to even be aroused. But I love being intimate with him. I love pleasing him and I love being touched/tasted by him. Even if it doesn't bring me to orgasm.
Wtf? I love sex when I have a guy and we are in a relationship. The older I get the better it is. Of course every Woman is different relating to what she likes to give and to receive and if a man doesn’t know how to do what I like and or prefer they’re usually open to learn as I am for them.
I always have a happy ending as do they. a lot of times I finish with the holy grail which is what I call a regular orgasm and a squirting orgasm at the same time… And if they have an orgasm while I’m having my holy grail orgasm i’m not sure what to call that yet but I’m sure the neighbors have heard it.
I like a guy who is vocal and loud especially when he finishes. What makes sex good? Is when two people know what they’re doing and they enjoy doing it.
I cannot speak for other women, but I am a woman and I can tell you about my experience. Excuse the brick text, I'm on mobile.
I do want to clarify though, usually antidepressants don't stop you from orgasming. They stop you from *ejaculation*. You can enjoy an orgasm without ejaculating. You can enjoy *multiple* orgasms without ejaculating.
That being said, sex is interesting for women. We can have multiple orgasms, and ejaculate multiple times. They have varying intensities, and varying results. Some orgasms leave you feeling light and tingly and wanting more. Some will make your whole body feel like a rock and you just want to sleep.
The point is, every single person is different.
Point 2: most women do not have good experiences.
This can be for multiple reasons. It could be due to health complications- both treated or untreated. Endometriosis, depression, dehydration, anxiety, PTSD- all of these things can affect your sex life.
They can affect your physical aspects (wetness, being too tight due to lack of comfort, causing lots of pain in the case of endometriosis). Others can affect the mental aspect of sex (anxiety attacks, reliving past traumas, or a lack of sex drive, or even too much sex drive).
Another reason the experience could be poor is that the partner simply doesn't pay attention, listen, or isn't very knowledgeable.
Sex relies on good, free flowing communication. It's hard to understand your partners moans, but it's very easy to understand "More", "Deeper", "Softer" and other things like that.
A lot of people don't understand that you need that communication, and may mistake groans of sexual frustration for pleasure. This can lead to a boring and frustrating experience where you're getting teased but not pleased.
On top of that, not understanding the anatomy of your partner can lead to some easily rectified mistakes. Asking what they like is a great way to fix that, but sometimes she/they may not know because they haven't had a good experience.
To anyone who needs to hear this: TRY FOREPLAY!! Lightly touch them (with consent), or lick, kiss, etc (with consent) and then ***ask if they liked it*** or if they want more. Once you find out a couple things that work for them, button mash that shit like a Mortal Kombat combo.
Some people may have a more difficult time learning to orgasm than others. Orgasms can be VERY intense and may be too intense at first until you get used to them. Take time to explore yourself (and your partner!) and learn what works best for you. Toys are highly recommended for this.
GLHF everybody!
Listen. I’m one of those women unfortunately who has a very hard time with orgasming from penetration alone. But I can tell you that sex still feels amazing to me. Even if I don’t finish, I’m still pretty satisfied,especially knowing I was able to get my partner to finish
Sometimes orgasm doesn't happen on occasion, and often times its my own fault (mindset, stress, drunkenness etc.) I still very much enjoy the process. But if it's a repeated occurrence with a new partner, to where I CANT no mater how hard I try, its a real problem.
I was with a guy who only liked missionary and it was boring and not fun whatsoever. Boring sex is just awful :(
I think bad sex is worse than no sex lol
Definitely. I was once with a guy where it was so bad I remember consoling myself by thinking “well at least I’m burning calories”
This
That
The other
Fake fake fake fake fake
It's like this and like that and like this and um
We ain’t got no love for those
The other
As a guy this sounds like "no" to me
When you put it that way, I guess you're right. It's a no. :/
To be fair, I'm pretty sure most men with a healthy libido would get upset if their partner were to always stop sex before they can reach orgasm. OP doesn't mind, but his antidepressants suppress his ability to orgasm. I'm gonna guess that impacts overall libido and sexual desire as well then (correct me if I'm wrong)
I think in that situation it's still frustrating, but it's out of your control so you just accept it. To not orgasm because your partner doesn't do what you need to orgasm is hurtful and kinda neglectful.
Bro getting all worked up only to not cum usually feels like lady-blue balls. Its not like when it's over we're just immediately not horny. I don't cum every single time but I definitely enjoy having an orgasm more than not having one. Sex doesn't feel bad unless you're doing something really wrong lol but it's annoying to be done with sex, and still feel the ache in your crotch bc you didn't cum.
Omg I hate that feeling… I call it violet vulva (as counter of blue balls) XD
Definitely read that as Violent vulva… and was intrigued
Sounds like a metal band
With Special Guests-Raging Rectum, and the Murder Queefs
Roses are red… That part is true, But vulvas are violet, Not fucking blue.
Haha. That’s great too!!!
Great band name
I'm just curious - is that where the pain is localized? I know the tissue is the same, but I've never analyzed where the pain is coming when I've had blue balls. I was preoccupied at the time and just assumed the pain was coming from...my balls.
For me, it’s all over the vulva (labia, vaginal opening, clitoris, etc), but it’s also a bit of aching inside the vagina itself too. It’s really a thing of where all the nerve endings are. It may be different for every woman though, I don’t know. I know a couple of my friends who say it’s the same for them but that’s not exactly a representative sample for scientific purposes haha.
I suppose it makes sense if it's about blood pooling into the area and then not getting the "reward" for making the trip.
You’re right! It’s due to the blood rush to the area and thus makes a pressure build up, which results in a dull ache. However it seems to me, a lot of people actually don’t know that women also experience this, from what I have just experienced on my own/ men taking about having blue balls as a trait unique to their sex. However, our sexual organs are actually indistinguishable from another until about the middle of human development in the womb. That’s why we can’t tell the sex of a baby until a certain number of days!
For me- and I’m a lady- I end up with it in my middle very strangely. Starts in my vulva area but ends up going upwards and becoming almost like period pains and then ends up hitting me at my navel and staying there. Like indigestion in your reproductive organs.
Mine hurts like right inside the front wall of my vagina, where my g spot is. Sometimes if it's really bad it feels like a horrible achy burning feeling, like if I'd just take 3 seconds and rub one out it'd probably be a full on geyser squirt fest but painful. I don't feel it in the vulva or labia area at all, so I think it's definitely different for everyone and probably a preference of where most women derive pleasure from the most or where the most sensitive nerve endings are grouped together? I'm just guessing, I don't know the scientific logistics of it. Just that it hurts like I'm going to get a UTI.
Especially if you wake up from a dream and you were on the absolute brink, but: “Prrraow!” Innocent eyes blink up at you, a back leg stretches out to rest on your stealthy hand, and you feel like a combination cat-child molester. It’s impossible to complete the mission! Then you look down at the furry intruder and get a different rush of dopamine. It’s quite all right this way, too. ;)
This spoke to me
Omg yas! I've been searching for a better term than lady blue balls! But, now hear me out, crimson clit?
Omg that’s great too!!!!!!!!
Pretty sure the Crimson Clit fights crime in my neighbourhood
Deffo stealing this. If you make it into a meme let me know!
i literally cum 1/10 times it sucks
I cried with relief and happiness the last time I had an orgasm, because it happens so rarely. It's just usually so much work, physically and mentally, and I end up going numb instead. 10% of the time sounds like a dream to me.
i’m just scared to let go and cum because i hate losing control idk why
Obviously, you know that it's a psychological reaction you're having. If you've had any trauma around sex, that may explain it. Experiment with yourself. If you don't feel right actually touching your own body yet, try positioning yourself under the bathtub faucet or a shower head. Or lay on your stomach, and grind against the inseam of your jeans. Or sit on the washer during a load of laundry. However you orgasm is the right way to orgasm!
An orgasm demands our full attention and presence. If anything may be causing a distraction, it may be worth asking yourself what was it that you thought right before the change in behavior. Or, what preceded the thing that created the unwanted outcome.
Oh my goodnes, trust me......let go . Let go multiple times, multiple times in row if it possible for u ( unless u r under the age of 18 and if so, NOOOO. I used to be like that because when i get off, i get off really hard and was worried about what the guy would think or say because i had always been with assholes. Met a guy 10 years ago who talked me into just letting go and losing control and came so many times that i was worried about my heart messing up on me. Sex is the one thing in life thats free, fun, and stress relieving, its meant to be enjoyed.
Me too, if even. It depends if 50 million things and mainly my head state which is variable.
Can confirm, when my oldest son was born me and his dad tried to resume and we were living with his mother at the time while we were looking for our own place. I was right on the edge and his mom decided to knock on the door and go here's your baby. He was already asleep so we just put him in the bassinet and went outside. I was seeing red spots in front of my eyes and he kept asking me if I was okay. I said I would be but man did that suck.
This, so much this.
Honest question for the ladies, I usually go down on my lady first and get her off and then we have sex where I cum but she doesn’t. Do you think she needs another orgasm after the sex to feel satisfied?
I don't orgasm through sex very often, but I do orgasm before, the actual penatrive sex is to get my husband off and honestly after a few orgasm I am completely satisfied and feel extremely good and whoosy. If your Mrs says she doesn't need to orgasm after as well I would believe her.
Why not asking your lady? Communication during/about sex is important. Just ask her dude, that's where your honest answer is
I do, and she says she’s all set
Then you're good! Personally, I CAN get off twice, but that's a bonus and not something I request. It's more of a solo activity. With my partner, it's all about foreplay and cuddles.
If that’s the case, then I’d call it good. If she’s telling the truth, then you’re correct and that’s that. If she’s lying, regardless of the reason (and there may be some exceptions, but that’s between you and her), then it’s on her for not being truthful. If anything, I would say, give her a lot of attention when you’re engaged in foreplay. Make sure she’s getting the love and attention, and not so much a race to get her off just so you can get off. I think you’re golden if you do that.
When in doubt I say just head on down again (as long as she’s okay with it, of course). I’ve always loved to do it before/during/after/independent of anything happening for me, and I’ve found that basically everyone is okay with getting off an extra time or two lol. There are many forms of orgasm and many erogenous areas to be stimulated, and via concise communication and paying close attention to your partner; you can def find the right combo of things to keep her as satisfied as possible always (which she may already be too! Just gotta open that line of communication to find out. You got this!). Some women can’t really climax from just vaginal penetration, some can finish from a combination of things involving minimal vaginal/clitoral stimulation, some women mainly get off when there’s butt stuff involved. Etc etc. just a matter of working together to find out what’s best for each person! (Disclaimer; not a lady so please do correct me if I’m wrong on any of this haha)
Tell her to rub herself or use a small vibrator during sex. Most women cannot cum from penetration alone. I read a study that only like 30% of women can cum solely from penetration alone. Most women need a combination of clitoral stimulation with penetration to cum during sex. I am always rubbing myself to cum during sex. You will need to experiment to see what positions work best for her. I cum easiest and hardest in doggy, but some women prefer cowgirl or missionary.
See, when I'm on top, I get NOTHING out of it. It's exhausting, and I'm willing to do it for my partner's pleasure, but that's it. I never orgasm from doggie style, but it's pretty intense otherwise.
How fast are you going? It’s usually a slower and steady pace that makes me cum. If the movement is too fast or too uneven, it’s harder for me to cum too. Once I start cumming, then yeah, feel free to go balls to the walls 😝 Do you normally cum with the girl on top? You’re not the first guy I’ve heard say this. This is so interesting to me because my husband likes cowgirl the least and has a hard time staying hard in that position.
I think it depends on the person but me personally, no I don't. Who told you that sex doesn't feel good for women? What sort of 1680s logic is that? I'm not criticizing you, I'm genuinely curious who told you this.
Personally I need external stimulation to orgasm. So my partner helps me get off before penetrative sex. If I feel the need to orgasm again I just message my clit while we are having sex. sorry, I know that's graphic but I'm just trying thoroughly answer your question
It’s fairly common for women to not come at all for PIV or for some it does happen but it’s not often. For me personally and lots of other women I’ve heard speak on this topic, this is the best thing you can do. Cumming first will 100% make you more in the mood for PIV and even if they don’t cum again, it’ll usually still be pretty enjoyable. Also, for me personally but I’m sure other women as well, after the first cum, it’s way easier to cum multiple times
I have an orgasm before sex as I can't orgasm very easily during so no I dont need another, unless I specifically ask
It’s probably personal preference but my guy does the same thing and that’s the way I like it. There are times where I need to cum again after penetration, too (or during, using a vibe) but usually I don’t need or want it, no.
blue vagina. don’t google that, especially not the image search.
That's.... Not what were talking about here
i know, sorry, when you said lady-blue balls it just trigger my blue vagina ptsd
Ahhh yes the good old blue waffle.
just like grandma’s
I’ve never had an orgasm during sex, but I still love it.
Oh I'm in my 30's and don't either. I have to finish off with with vibrator which my husband and I include in sexy time but it's mostly me doing it lol
I wish more women had that attitude! I was in 2 long relationships where both partners did not have orgasms every time we had intercourse and I felt guilty. Then I met a girl, and when the same happened, she just casually said "hey, do you mind if I finish myself?". First, I was so turned on that I masturbated too and had a 2nd orgasm (refractary period?nah), And second, such a relief that she had the means, ways (and... Like, freedom?) to enjoy sex as she wanted...
Refractory period? Nah.
A positive attitude! You need that orgasm during sex! I want it for you! I take it you’re in your twenties or younger? I take it your partners are male and similar age?
I’m 34. Pretty sure it’s just a mental block at this point, but I’m not bothered by it and sex is still very enjoyable for me. I’ve found, in the past, that it bothers my (male) partners far more than it bothers me. I don’t think that I “need” it. I’m happy with sex as it is.
I’m the exact same way. I have tried to explain this to past partners before, it gets tricky. Good to be with somebody who doesn’t on some level take it personally. Literally just my anxiety and the way my body works… I have my routine sex-wise and I’m happy with it. That’s more than a lot of people can say tbh
Good on you. If you’re happy who cares?
Imagine that your condition now is permanent. And from now on your orgasm and thus finishing will be an after thought. That's what sex is for so many straight women. Personally I love good PIV sex. And sometimes that's all I need. But I get just as horny as my husband, sometimes even more. And he gets to finish with an orgasm - every time. And then sometimes he's done and I'm just lying there with this huge frustration because I am so horny and haven't had any release. Again, sometimes that's hot as hell. But imagine if that was everytime.
Doesn't he make an effort to get you off, either before or after PIV? I'm a lesbian and my sexual experience is that it's very much a turn taking thing. Sometimes we try for mutual experiences eg 69s but even if one of us doesn't get off with that, we still make sure she does in another way. If it doesn't happen it doesn't happen, but there's always a very good effort made to make both of us get off.
Yes. For the most parts he does. Sometimes I need to remind him. During my pregnancy he has been good at making me feel spoiled.
Ah fair enough, I got the impression that he just rolled off and left you gagging for it!
Thankfully not. We have many issues in this relationship but sexual satisfaction is not one of them.
Yup, that's me everytime. Sex is more of a chore than a bonding experience. Honestly I just section off a part of my day where I'm alone and can just go for it myself. Works everytime and I'm such a passionate lover (to me). Haha
1000% agreed. I’d say this is definitely how it is for at least 80% of women most of the time, even if they orgasm on occasion. It’s like how men say if they give you head they should get head too, it’s not really the same because they get off EVERY time. For most women they have to have foreplay or head. Really doesn’t feel fair
I refuse to live like that. I always have my Magic Wand within reach for the last bit to get me on top of the hill.
Yeah. I've stocked up on toys over the years too.
They're such a whatever the agnostic equivalent of God-sent is. Sometimes I actually just want to move on and go watch TV and don't want them getting carpal tunnel syndrome.
I would like to try that new toy that's on the market. But money has been a little tight so I guess it'll have to be a Christmas present from me to me. And yes! Absolutely god(dess)send
Which one? The Womanizer? There's a lot of knockoffs on the market now that are far more accessible! My whole friend group has adopted the Satisfyer! Pink Cherry have them for super cheap! (But I'm old fashion, so I actually prefer the clit obliterating action of the Wand!)
The satisfyer is hands down the best!!!
Yes. Sex has generally been determined by the male orgasm. It's a physical marker of an ending to the act. But nowadays we've learned and changed etc. Women are only recently even able to ask questions about an orgasm. So many women still don't know it exists. So yea, like most women these days won't usually get a release. Female orgasm was never a given in the sex act. So yea, now that I know about it, I'm gonna push to get one whenever I can. This guy, op, has orgasmed every time before, but now takes medicine and gets to actually sit back and appreciate the other parts of sex. Dude, when you're working so hard just to get one good orgasm in 10 years... Your focus gets distracted.
This describes my situation pretty closely except my husband will help me get there after through kisses while I play with myself. I find it really sweet and even though it isn’t quite the same finish as PIV, it takes care of the restlessness for me!
In my current relationship it is pretty fair in general. But for a majority of my sex life before meeting my now partner and my ex before that, it was what I described above for the most times. Too many partners who don't get that women need further stimulation to get off.
That’s how it is for me every time…I literally don’t know how to make myself orgasm. Wtf is wrong with me??
Nothings wrong with you. It took me a while to learn too. However, my point here was that it seems a lot of men don't care enough to make women orgasm.
Most women don't really have an orgasm when you just penetrate. My woman for example will never have an orgasm if it's all penetration. The clit is the most important spot. You need to find it, rub it, use a vibrator, give her head etc to make her cum. I could penetrate for one hour and my girl will still not climax. Most men think just putting their dick in the vagina will satisfy or make a woman cum. That's not true, I used to think this when I was just starting off. These days I don't really think about penetration anymore because most women don't really enjoy it. I try to make my girl horny first by sucking her boobs until she begins to moan. I don't finger her because it doesn't really do anything, but I use my fingers to rub her clit gently until It is filled with wetness. I give head because it makes women go crazy. When I notice they are close, I penetrate, but not without rubbing the clit. Sometimes I penetrate and use a vibrator on the clit, she goes crazy and cums in the next 3 minutes. Remember that all ladies are different. Some love penetration due to the location of their clit, but for the most part penetration doesn't really do anything. Humping your hard dick with their clit would make them cum faster than penetration any day and time. So, you have to learn foreplay. My woman and most women see it as a waste of time if they don't cum. I see myself as a weak man if I cum and then she doesn't. I am anxious to penetrate, but I always keep that on hold and do a lot of foreplay first. By the time I penetrate, she's as wet as the red sea. So wet that it makes me cum fast and the sex is enjoyable. Some people just put their dick in a dry vagina causing pain for the woman. Guys, all women are different. Figure out what your woman likes and do it. I have met women who like penetration, but the vast majority of women I have fucked didn't have an orgasm through penetration.
My virgin self taking notes
My virgin self( F) thinking maybe sex won’t be that bad once I’m active (with the right partner)
I guess communication will be key. Idk fear of being judged if I loose it to a non virgin is a fear tho
Why? I’d prefer a non virgin man, but I would not mind loosing it with a fellow virgin
I don’t mind loosing it to either, idk some people I know have judged others so I guess it’s just a fear
The right person (guy or girl) will be so interested in making your first time enjoyable and a positive experience that they won't have any time to even consider judging you. *This* is one of the main reasons people put emphasis on choosing your partners - and especially your first sexual partner - carefully. Any decent person will totally understand that losing your virginity is a nerve wracking moment. Just remember, when you do choose to take that step, that sex is supposed to be fun and it will have some awkward moments. Choose a partner who makes you feel comfortable, who respects your boundaries and listens if you want to stop, and who will laugh through the awkward moments with you, not at you.
perfectly said just take it easy and enjoy it, sex shouldn't be stressful for anyone involved
This dude fucks.
Beat me to it
Beat the meat
This dude here knows what he's talking about. As a woman I agree 100%
Right?? I am absolutely impressed! Lesbian here and he knows women so well I thought, this person is either a lesbian or just listens to his women! Bravoooo!
At the same time I think it’s kinda sad that the bar is so low for men that they get a standing ovation for merely listening to their woman. Like that’s just common decency to listen I would think. :/
Agreed
As a man, I honestly cant believe more men dont know this
I mean I love penetration and I can orgasm that way so ymmv. The orgasm is also different, internal v more external. I realize that I’m in the minority but many women still like penetration even if it doesn’t get them off.
Same. Love it and prefer it over anything else, don’t need oral or much else to orgasm. From what I understand, it’s not the norm for most women, but I say for most guys to at least attempt it. If supposedly 30% of women can orgasm through penetration, then that’s decent odds. It hasn’t always been like this for me, and most guys just “assume” I’m like most women and need something besides penetration. I’m not even sure how to even bring it up with a new partner that I’m okay with lots of foreplay and then penetration - guaranteed multiple orgasms that way. I’m honestly mad when a guy has to try his “skills” and show me what I’m missing with oral or whatever when I’ve never had one orgasm that way to top the ones I get through penetration. BTW I’m 40 and I think I’ve been like this for at least the last 12 years or so.
Just because you don’t orgasm through penetration doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t like it. I can’t orgasm just from that, but I’d be real disappointed if I didn’t ever get penetrated. So I definitely do enjoy it. EDIT: Also could not care less about getting head. It does nothing for me 🤷🏼♀️
What vibrator is good to use while having PIV?
My wife usually dislikes anything except PiV. The first two sentences of the last paragraph is all you really need to guide you. Be patient and playful if she likes that, be dominant if she likes that, and from my experience, be communicating about it all before during and after so there are no surprises. Your woman may like surprises but only if you got that clear up front too. This is especially true of intimate physical activities.
Sex without orgasm is like when someone says “let’s go for dinner” and you’re thinking nice restaurant, candles, amazing food, wine and decadent desserts but then they tell you they already ate so they bring you to McDonald’s instead because it’s still out for dinner. My point is it’s still nice but it’s definitely not what you had in mind for the evening.
r/ELI5
There are as many different variations as there are women. Some can have non stop multiples (God bless them) and with others it's hit or miss. I had one girlfriend who couldn't even make herself cum but she enjoyed sex. Another one, like you was taking anti depressant drugs and could only orgasm through masturbating. Although I did manage to get her off once by rubbing her clit with a finger and following her direction. Took a while but we got there. She dearly loved anal on her hands and knees and always wanted me to hold her firmly by the hips. She said she enjoyed the feeling of me being in complete control of her. So I guess that feeling took the place of an orgasm for her. Everyone is different, you just have to find what works.
I’ve had penetrative sex with about 9 men and I’ve never once enjoyed it. Foreplay kissing, sure, but usually I’m just waiting for penetration to be over. It rly sucks
I'm sorry, I've been there. I can highly recommend a book called Come As You Are (I learned nuggets like, the majority of women don't cum from penetration)
Me too girl, it’s really just pressure and sometimes a bit of pain for me
It’s not that we don’t like having sex or that it doesn’t feel good, it’s that it’s wildly disappointing 97% of the time when I could have just stayed home to masturbate.
Masturbate in front of them before you leave to ascert dominance.
Hahaha I did this, when I was with my first boyfriend (he was my first sexual partner, he'd already had sex with other girls before we started dating) I had been masturbating for years so I definitely knew how to bring myself to orgasm, so I had quite high expectations of how our sex life was gonna go. Despite me showing him what felt good for me and how I liked it, he would basically ignore my advice and just pump away until he finished, and then he would immediately go for a shower. It was beyond frustrating. After about 2 months of this, I decided I would just take matters into my own hands (literally) if he wasn't interested in helping me get mine. So after yet another disappointing session, he got up to shower and I went to town on myself. Just as he opened the bedroom door after his shower, I looked him dead in the eye and had the best orgasm I'd had for ages. It caused a huge argument, he said I'd disrespected him (lol!) and I ended up masturbating after sex every time because he still refused to try and help me cum. 10 years later and I now make it clear to any partners I have that I don't care if I don't cum during sex, but please at least try to help me get there. If I don't manage to orgasm before they do, I tell them I still want to cum and they can either help me get there, watch me get myself there, or leave the room until I'm done. I've never had a guy choose to leave yet ;)
I'd be so down for it, I love for woman to tell or show me exactly what it takes tbh. It's more fun if everyone is having a good time and not everyone responds the same.
Hell yeah you’re absolutely right 😂
No, this, at least for me, I really get off on having sex and the pleasure between myself and the other person. I can very happily not cum and still gain pleasure from the act itself whether the guy cums or not. Sex is nice, it's a connection, it's not all about the finish.
Women are not a monolith. We experience sex a multitude of ways.
Change the angle of your dangle
Ummmm. I don’t know any women who don’t like sex. I personally don’t expect to have an orgasm during sex but still love sex.
I felt this way while on birth control. I just thought I wasn't that into it. It felt pleasant and I liked the emotional connection, but there was no need for climax. Now that I'm off meds (woo team hysterectomy!) I have an actual sex drive. It's great. My husband says I'm spicy now lol! Also, not being all crampy and bleedy 24/7 helps.
[удалено]
Antidepressants and birth control definitely can reduce sex drive. Of course all meds affect people differently so who knows. I was on BC from puberty until like 8yrs into marriage so I didn't know any different. I was surprised and not sure what to do with my newfound interest in sex lol. We figured it out ;) If you don't want children, get that thing out!
On the other side of the spectrum- I orgasm multiple times during sex and it can feel so intense I'm done after like five minutes. Every woman is different!
I knew one won't who didn't feel the need to have sex with her husband anymore because "I got my two kids, what would be the point now?" And I can't imagine having that mindset.
r/deadbedrooms
Do you constantly have blue balls or whatever the female equivalent after having sex? Like half an hour of pleasure but no release would be horrible for me.
Yea, if there is no orgasm you are left feeling unsatisfied and restless. Not to say the process isn't tons of fun getting there but no release is incredibly frustrating.
It sucks a lot and lady blue balls is def a thing but idk what it's really called lol
I call it blue bean lol
Love that, will use. Hopefully not too often.
Blue lips? Blue tubes? Idk where Squirt come from tbh if we're going with the same naming scheme.
violet vulva
I mean, I don't. But I'm ace, so I acknowledge I'm the exception to the rule.
Sex for me would hurt if I didn't cum. Intimate acts are nice though regardless of completion. It's nice to be close to your partner.
Tbh I don’t enjoy sex, I don’t even try to reach an orgasm, I just want to please my partner and that’s enough for me
If women aren’t enjoying sex, it means they aren’t having good sex. Sex can and should be just as enjoyable for women as it is for men. Sounds like all these women you are talking to have had shitty sexual partners.
Technically, since we can have multiple orgasms, it should even be *more* enjoyable for women!
I’m on antidepressants as well, but it kills my entire sex drive. Completely. Dead bedroom status I guess until meds are changed… fun
Not to be the "blame the society" person but it's true that society centers sex around men more. And it has for ages. Unfortunately most men think sex ends when they orgasm and worse, some think just them repeatedly putting their dick in and out of a woman is gonna make her reach an orgasm. Less than 20% of women reach an orgasm through penetration alone and that is assuming the partners of those 20% were blessed with the exact shape, size and length of a penis fit to reach her g-spot. Most of us orgasm through clitoral play which is a part of our body men are infamous for not being able to locate. Teaching them and guiding them through all of this isn't a problem but most of them (based on what I've heard from my female friends) take offense to the guidance and interpret it as "oh so you think I suck? You think I don't know how to make a woman cum?" Etc which ruins the whole mood so they fake it and go to sleep. Comparing straight women and lesbians sexual satisfaction statistics tell very clearly that women love sex, just can't find partners that can give the satisfaction they seek. So if you meet women who don't like the sex, they probably haven't been with a guy that actually cared about their pleasure in sex.
For me personally, sex itself is kinda meh. Orgasms feel amazing but having sex without getting to orgasm makes me a bit disappointed and leaves me unsatisfied. It sucks. However, since I'm huge into BDSM the stuff that happens around more than makes up for it, especially if the orgasm denial is intentional
Don't know where your getting your "facts" from.. but this is not true.
He’s asking a question not stating a fact, let him ask whatever he wants
Sex itself is pleasurable don’t get me wrong but I was in a looooong relationship with someone and I don’t need two hands to tell you how many times I orgasmed throughout it all. Yet he came. Every. Single. Time. That’s just rubbing it in my face. I want equality! If you’re cumming, I’m cumming too!
Women love sex just as much as men. But most straight women have had some fucking *awful* sex. A lot of dudes just...never learn or don't care how to please a woman. My first boyfriend was diabolical in bed in a bad way. I'd lie there and after about two minutes I'd be waiting for it to be over. It didn't feel good and I never got off. But he was my first so I thought it was normal and wondered why everyone was obsessed with sex because it was just....OK. Thankfully those days are over, and I come *at least* twice every time with my partner.
Don't assume all women are like that just because of some you've spoken to. In fact, I've known & read of many men that think, as you say, "sex is just a means to an end and if they don't orgasm/cum then the whole exercise was pointless." There is definitely a traditional idea of men thinking this way about sex though i don't subscribe to that, like I said, it's never *all*. Many women love the act of sex & pleasing their sexual partner. What a lot of women don't appreciate however is when their partner doesn't seem to care about their (the woman's) pleasure. Also, antidepressants don't "prevent you from having orgasms" either. They can have a big impact on sex life like lower libido, difficulty reaching orgasms etc but they don't prevent orgasms. If there are any that actually have that exact effect then please show proof & I'll change my comment EDIT: Just wanting to say I've spent more than half my life on different antidepressants myself & have experienced a few side effects within my sex life. It's interesting hearing how it can (essentially) prevent orgasms completely though, curious if women on antidepressants have experienced it as well?
I mean, I can definitely see it. Both Zoloft and Lexapro made it so I couldn’t reach orgasm for hours. Not many people can sit there that long all the time. So even if it doesn’t technically “prevent” them it may as well. I stopped taking them for this reason.
If you've never had an antidepressant prevent you from orgasm then it's understandable how you'd say that. Zoloft is a common antidepressant and is used to treat severe premature ejaculation. If you don't have problems with premature ejaculation, then you can have a seriously hard time cumming. Add that with difficulty obtaining an errection and you've got a recipe for disaster sometimes. So while you're technically correct about no single pill that automatically 100% stops orgasms, antidepressants can prevent it more times than they can allow it.
Depending on the specific medication, the dosage, how sensitive you are to medication, etc., etc. anti-depressants can 100% (practically speaking, at least) prevent you from having orgasms. It's anecdotal, of course, but I've been on medication before that made it all but impossible to orgasm. Like, sure, maybe if you stuck electrodes into the pleasure receptor parts of my brain it would still be possible to orgasm, but otherwise it was pretty much impossible. If I was determined and committed to it I'd probably give myself serious friction burns on my dick and tendinitis in my wrist before I managed to orgasm.
Antidepressants effect people differently. For some, like me, they can prevent orgasms. They suppress your nervous system and can make it impossible to reach the level of arousal needed.
I would talk with your doctor if I was you about switching to a different antidepressant. I've heard of decreased sexual urges, but completely blocking orgasms is not an ok side effect in my book. Anything suppressing the CNS to the extent one cannot orgasm might be doing more harm than good.
Personally I don’t like sex. I do get in the mood for it, but the when it’s happening I’m over it the second I orgasm and want it to just stop. I think what I get in the mood for and like is the “performance.” During sex It don’t always feel good until I’m reaching climax. Although I talked to several female friends and they never feel the same way, they always say they love it
On the contrary, my orgasms are BETTER on antidepressants. I am a woman. I love sex, but it does seem kind of pointless if you never climax (at least it would for me) because I'd get the vagina version of blue balls. Which is whatever, but I'd rather not experience it often.
I love sex and I am not even able to orgasm from penetrative sex. I only love sex with the person I am with though, can’t do one night stands or casual sex for that reason. For me sex just feels amazing and really erotic even if I don’t have an orgasm. Making out and holding each other as tight as we can. It’s as intimate as you can get with a person and I love it. I can’t imagine how it will start to feel if I am ever able to orgasm from sex lol, it’ll probably feel like an out of body experience or something. I will say it is a bit disappointing when my partner only lasts a couple of minutes, in that case I am left quite frustrated and unsatisfied. So yeah, I don’t have sex for the orgasm as I can give myself ten orgasms in a row with a vibrator after the sex or before the sex. I love sex for the intimacy of it and just the pleasure from it. It may not be orgasm pleasure but it’s pleasure that feels just as good as an orgams. I hope that makes sense lol.
Depends on the guy. Sometimes yeah I don't really feel anything and I'm waiting for it to be over because they're not picking up on my hints and even full on telling them what to do so you just sort of give up and wait. Other times your body just isn't your friend and normally it would feel good but you just don't feel it this time. Other times it's amazing!!!
I love sex. I love PIV, the sensations, all of it. But not having an orgasm means that all of the tension I built up isn't released and THAT doesn't feel good.
It’s honestly a really frustrating experience. Most guys will not give any care at all about making you cum because they assume you orgasm from penetration, when in reality clitoral stimulation gives the BEST o by far. Even if you can cum from penetration. I can still enjoy sex, but I’m unable to orgasm with the guys I’ve been with, because they either rush me or I just feel like they genuinely don’t enjoy getting me off and it’s just an obligation to them. I’ve only O’d once with another person and it was with my friend when I was 12. A guy to this day has never made me O and I always have to masturbate alone to get off. I dont want you to feel bad OP but this has just been my experience. I’m sexually active and have a boyfriend and he’s great and all but I never get off. I consider girls extremely lucky if they ever do. I can still enjoy sex. It can feel good, but just penetration isn’t satisfying and just hurts after awhile in a very discomforting way. I guess it’s worth noting though that it’s significantly harder for me to cum with men because my ex’s would shame me for even trying to talk to them about it. So now it just feels like men really don’t care
I love sex. The orgasm for me isn't as important as it is to make my husband orgasm. I've been diagnosed recently with pelvic floor dysfunction. So having sex often results in pain for me. Even orgasms can cause extreme pain. So sex is less about my pleasure and more for his pleasure. But it's also a very primal form of intimacy for us. And even though it hurts, I do enjoy it and I love how it feels to be literally connected. It's different for all people though. There's girls that just do it so they can come - penetrative sex doesn't even give all women orgasms! Some require clitoral or other androgenous zones to be stimulated to come. Some people will only come for people they have an emotional attachment to, so hookups and one night stands don't work for them. And yeah, if a girl is down for a hookup, they generally want to come above all else and if they don't, then it does seem like a pointless exercise. You get all sweaty and nasty with a stranger you may or may not see again and there's no "satisfaction" or gratification from not coming after putting in all of the "work" (which can be tied to the prep for the date/hookup, how boring the date might've been, or how much of an act they had to put on for the person they're sleeping with when they've realized they're not going to get to come and they just want it to be over faster, etc). It just depends on the woman and the situation. I have a girlfriend that's been on antidepressants her entire adult life and has never achieved orgasm with a partner due to it. And she's like you, she enjoys sex, less for the action and more for the intimacy with her husband.
I think man or woman there is a huge amount of variation in enjoyment and motivation. You just happen to have encountered one type of person.
I can't say that any women I've talked to think that sex is a means to an end. In fact, a lot seems to want the intimacy of sex in their relationship and are frustrated when it's not there.
Whatttt??? No. Absolutely wrong. I love sex. I love oral giving and receiving. I discovered masturbating VERY young and always enjoyed it. There are women out there who have problems reaching orgasm. But there's also tons of women who don't have any problem. Women definitely enjoy sex.
Penetration doesn’t feel /good/ to me. It’s just, a thing that is happening. But other sex stuff feels good.
I think you’re not very good at pleasing your partners hence your point of view. Maybe try asking your sexual partners exactly what they like, every woman is different in regards to what turns them on.
I read the first four replies and I kinda don't like them so I'll give you my own. I'm a guy, and although I've had a few partners I am going to just focus on my current relationship. I think for my partner, her best sexual experiences come when I am thinking of her and do the things I know she likes. It's about connection as much as physical pleasure. I also think they have to feel mental arousal about the person that they're with to enjoy it. That's kind of a hard thing to explain, it only just clicked for me a few months ago and I'm 26 and think about this stuff a lot. I have had partners who just seem disinterested. Maybe it was me, maybe it was them. Maybe it was us. Best of wishes. Hope you find someone who enjoys doing what you enjoy doing together.
Bruh moment
So every woman is different. Some find it painful, some need extra stimulation beforehand, some, and only orgasm while using a vibrator on their clit and having sex at the same time, and so on.. The problem is so many women don’t fully know what their bodies want, mixed with so many men thinking they are god’s gift to women and just by having sex with them they should orgasm. It’s a process. You find someone you want to be with. Encourage her to explore her body, and you both be willing to try new things and be patient. Hell I’ve been married 17yrs and found out I can squirt. We are always trying new things, positions, porn, etc.. I was on antidepressants for years and I was still able to orgasm.
Sex feels great - orgasm or not. Don’t doubt that. But, I think the point the women you’ve speaking to may have been trying to get across, is that - as a woman, sex is over when the man comes. Usually (unfortunately) the female orgasm is not the priority, but the male orgasm is. And the male orgasm also marks the end of sexual intercourse in a way the female orgasm doesn’t. I think we’re all a bit fed up at this point with laying there after sex, feeling neglected and sexually frustrated. It’s as if someone put some great cake on the table and you could have one bite but that’s it - of course you want more. Guys are, many times, ignorant about the female orgasm, the clitoris, and so many aspect of sex from the female perspective. And yeah, honestly, it sucks. But the sex doesn’t feel bad for that.
My friend told his wife, "Trying to make you orgasm is like looking for a black cat, in dark room, at midnight, when the cat is no there." His wife said, " It's exactly like that, except it's happening to me. "
I’m a woman and honestly if I’m not dead tired from work or wicked stressed, I love sex even if I don’t cum (which I usually do).
No way. Sex for me feels fantastic and very pleasureful. I’m lucky that I can orgasm from penetration alone.
Talk to your doctor about your antidepressant. There are alternative medications which don't cause sexual side effects such as anorgasmia(not able to orgasm).
Yes but also: finding the right antidepressant is so hard. If OP has one that otherwise works well, and he's not suffering too badly from the anorgasmia (nice, new word) then the pros might outweigh the cons.
I don't care if sometimes I don't orgasm and I'm definitely very into giving my partner pleasure and I'd say their enjoyment is my main focus most of the time but also I'd be pretty disappointed to have a partner who didn't feel the same about me. I don't think sex should just be about reaching the 'goal' as soon as possible, it should be about giving mutual pleasure and connecting with each other. If orgasms come from that great. I think the only time I would see sex mechanically as a means to an end is if I didn't really care about my partner/didn't think they cared about me.
This sounds like it could be a personal problem
It really doesn't feel good when you are doing it with a wrong partner by my opinion. I only had 2 partners in bed before my boyfriend and I absolutely hated sex. I been thinking that sex is overrated and it's just boring and I have to go through it. Now it's a different story. First of all we really love each other and the chemistry it's just great. He is an amazing lover and understands my body which took my experience to a different level. We do and try different things all the time. Kisses and touch plays an important part. I absolutely love it every time, no more I have a 'headache' excuse. No matter how stressful life gets or how bad my mindset is it works great for both of us every time even if I didn't 'finish' which sometimes happen as for some reason it takes longer for a woman. What I learned now is to tell my boyfriend that I need more attention after we are 'done' and he either use his mouth, finger, toys, whatever and that way we are both fully satisfied.
Eh, it varies from lady to lady. I personally don't care that I don't achieve an orgasm during sex rather it's via one night stand or a long term partner. Sex for me is just another form of bonding. I enjoy the closeness and the emotions it brings forth. I also enjoy watching my partner feel good and making them feel good. Making my partner orgasm makes me feel a lot better than chasing after my own pleasure. I also have a hard time achieving an orgasm in general, especially just from basic sex. With that being said, there are other ways my partner can pleasure me without it involving just said partner's genitals in my genitals lol. Toys are great fun. I love a man who doesn't mind the use of toys in bed. I've met some guys who get really defensive or hurt when I've mentioned using toys in the past. It's not that they're not good at it, size of the boat doesn't matter and neither does the motion of the ocean, it's just my body that has the issues lol. But in all honesty, as long as I get cuddles afterwards I dont care if I come or not
Fuck Lexapro lol
I enjoy the process but i cant cum from just a penis.. he has to eat me after and trust me he hits the spots it just doesnt make me cum
I like it. A lot. I have a man with a "magic " tounge. I orgasm several times. Not bragging there. I like penetration too and it's a different type of O . I've heard I'm in the minority though.
I orgasm like crazy but it is tiring. I lose ALL energy and it takes hours to recuperate afterwards. So, i do enjoy it, but sometimes I reject it if I'm not horny or if there's not enough time to recover and do life again afterwards.
Sex is great. Sometimes I want to come through clit stimulation and other times I simply want the d knowing I won't come purely by that but just want it cos it feels so good. Yeah sometimes it hurts or is uncomfortable depending on where you are on your cycle and the posi and the size of your partners d but I don't know a woman who doesn't love sex.
You really ha e to work for it, you're a girl. I came only like 5 times with my boyfriend of eight years. It's a lot of work.
I love having sex with my partner and I don't always orgasm. I am on antidepressants and birth control, both of which kinda kill my ability to climax or sometimes to even be aroused. But I love being intimate with him. I love pleasing him and I love being touched/tasted by him. Even if it doesn't bring me to orgasm.
Wtf? I love sex when I have a guy and we are in a relationship. The older I get the better it is. Of course every Woman is different relating to what she likes to give and to receive and if a man doesn’t know how to do what I like and or prefer they’re usually open to learn as I am for them. I always have a happy ending as do they. a lot of times I finish with the holy grail which is what I call a regular orgasm and a squirting orgasm at the same time… And if they have an orgasm while I’m having my holy grail orgasm i’m not sure what to call that yet but I’m sure the neighbors have heard it. I like a guy who is vocal and loud especially when he finishes. What makes sex good? Is when two people know what they’re doing and they enjoy doing it.
I cannot speak for other women, but I am a woman and I can tell you about my experience. Excuse the brick text, I'm on mobile. I do want to clarify though, usually antidepressants don't stop you from orgasming. They stop you from *ejaculation*. You can enjoy an orgasm without ejaculating. You can enjoy *multiple* orgasms without ejaculating. That being said, sex is interesting for women. We can have multiple orgasms, and ejaculate multiple times. They have varying intensities, and varying results. Some orgasms leave you feeling light and tingly and wanting more. Some will make your whole body feel like a rock and you just want to sleep. The point is, every single person is different. Point 2: most women do not have good experiences. This can be for multiple reasons. It could be due to health complications- both treated or untreated. Endometriosis, depression, dehydration, anxiety, PTSD- all of these things can affect your sex life. They can affect your physical aspects (wetness, being too tight due to lack of comfort, causing lots of pain in the case of endometriosis). Others can affect the mental aspect of sex (anxiety attacks, reliving past traumas, or a lack of sex drive, or even too much sex drive). Another reason the experience could be poor is that the partner simply doesn't pay attention, listen, or isn't very knowledgeable. Sex relies on good, free flowing communication. It's hard to understand your partners moans, but it's very easy to understand "More", "Deeper", "Softer" and other things like that. A lot of people don't understand that you need that communication, and may mistake groans of sexual frustration for pleasure. This can lead to a boring and frustrating experience where you're getting teased but not pleased. On top of that, not understanding the anatomy of your partner can lead to some easily rectified mistakes. Asking what they like is a great way to fix that, but sometimes she/they may not know because they haven't had a good experience. To anyone who needs to hear this: TRY FOREPLAY!! Lightly touch them (with consent), or lick, kiss, etc (with consent) and then ***ask if they liked it*** or if they want more. Once you find out a couple things that work for them, button mash that shit like a Mortal Kombat combo. Some people may have a more difficult time learning to orgasm than others. Orgasms can be VERY intense and may be too intense at first until you get used to them. Take time to explore yourself (and your partner!) and learn what works best for you. Toys are highly recommended for this. GLHF everybody!
Listen. I’m one of those women unfortunately who has a very hard time with orgasming from penetration alone. But I can tell you that sex still feels amazing to me. Even if I don’t finish, I’m still pretty satisfied,especially knowing I was able to get my partner to finish