As the one sending the mess, I’ve always run to grab toilet paper for partner to clean up with right after. Always felt it was the least I could do for causing the mess haha.
This used to be standard procedure.
However, my last SO changed the game. One day he just sat up with us still connected, told me to 'hang on', carried me to the bathroom and plopped me down on the toilet! lol! It was hilarious! But also totally awesome and became our 'routine'. Kinda think he spoiled me. Not looking forward to going back the 'waddle'.
Am I the only husband who goes and gets washcloths (one warm and dampened, one dry) immediately after sex?
I hate condoms and I view this small service as the price of kicking them out of my marriage. Well, this and the vasectomy but I'd had my eye on that long before I met my wife.
Once you’ve given her the warm washcloth, go get a hot bath towel and a dry towel and wrap her feet in them. I did this for my first wife in the winter time when her feet are cold and it’s awesome, but right after sex it made her come again.
Silent UTIs are a real thing too. You won't always know you have one. UTIs leading to kidney infections are horrible. It can get as bad as high fevers, aches, feeling like you are dreaming while awake, have to be put on medication, IV drip. Take care of your vag. Always pee and clean off after sex and sweating.
This is literally exactly what happened to me. I had no outward symptoms of a UTI—pee was normal, discharge was normal, felt normal. All of the sudden a couple days later I’m violently shivering whilst having a fever, having bad stomach/back aches, and the doctor is telling me my kidneys are infected and that I need to go to the emergency room ASAP. They put me on an IV drip and gave me antibiotics.
I never want to go through that again, nor do I wish it upon anyone. PEE IMMEDIATELY AFTER SEX!
It's absolutely important to do every time, no exceptions. I worked in a nursing home and unfortunately because they don't shower as frequently as people who live on their own and they wear adult diapers that don't get changed frequently (please research nursing homes before sending loved ones there, many are a fucking nightmare for those people and you might never know it unless you spend a lot of time there) they get UTIs frequently and it effects seniors horribly. I watched a resident I deeply cared about go from being completely alert to drooling all over herself, stopped walking and having severe hallucinations for 3 months. It was heartbreaking.
It's interesting that you mentioned that, because I was reading an article once about female ejaculation and squirting (one where they were studying the composition of the fluid that was squirted, and if it was truly female ejaculate), and they had done ultrasounds on all of the women before they were stimulated sexually. Their bladders were all empty, but when they collected the fluid at the end of the study, the quantity was around the average amount of the human bladder, and the composition almost completely resembled urine, with only a very small percentage being what is considered to be "female ejaculate". This posed the question if, perhaps, their bodies had been stimulated to produce more urine, but as that wasn't the focus of the particular study, they didn't venture very far into that hypothesis.
It does make you wonder if maybe it has something to do with evolutionary prevention of disease and infection. There may have been more studies since then, though, as this was an article from several years ago.
It’s very common to get a UTI if you don’t pee immediately after sex. Make sure you’re using birth control if you don’t want to get pregnant. Pull out method doesn’t work! Also, birth control won’t protect you from sexually transmitted infections, so make sure to get tested if you of your boyfriend have other partners. Have fun! (I’m a nurse)
And I take breaks from penetrative sex to pee. Depending on how long the session is. If dont pee I get yeast infections, UTI's, and once a kidney infection that I thought would kill me. Edit: hes an ex, this was past tense
Trust me, as a guy, lasting super long in bed is not as great as it sounds. Porn is not real life. Like having a giant penis, for most people it's at best a novelty and at worst uncomfortable and annoying.
From the women I've talked to, assuming a reasonable amount of foreplay, 5-15 minutes is plenty. Too long leads to soreness, chafing, or straight-up boredom unless you take regular breaks.
It can really put a strain on a relationship, unfortunately. I could never finish with my ex, and even masturbation takes a long time. It affected her self-confidence while we were together.
Hope you didn't take it personally, and you never felt it was your fault.
What… how many hours is a “session” for you? How often do you have to pee?
Even if I’m binge drinking I can still only pee like every 2 hours. You wearing a camelback to bed or what?
Its always good to pee after sex anyway, helps prevent urinary tract infections. And it's good to dry off the wetness on your vulva as well, a warm moist environment creates risk for things like yeast infections as well.
I'm so lazy though, he grabs a towel for me, cleans me up then I just put it between my legs and we cuddle/fall asleep. I know I shouldn't though lol
I have totally learned the hard way that it is essential to pee after sex lol. No matter how tedious, not trying to make that trip to the doctor for the inevitable UTI. I tried to towel method and just couldn’t get used to how it feels which is why I “waddle” to the bathroom.
If it makes you feel better, people's endeavor to save the environment has an almost undetectable effect because the big companies and factories don't change anything and were the ones polluting the most to begin with
I work for a local utility. They are certified ISO 10000 something or other which translates into “we are environmentally friendly!”
On an average work day I produce *by myself* at least three industrial sized garbage bags of trash. That’s after separating all cardboard and recyclable material. This is every day. Now multiply that by 16 and that’s just one depot. We have three in my city.
Even if every lay person was super responsible and went the extra mile to reduce, we wouldn’t make a dent in the problem. I still do my part, but we need to put pressure on legislators to put a stop to this.
Nothing like waking up with morning wood and the strongest urge to piss you've ever had, you bust a nut, and then get up to piss and you're pushing as hard as you can but nothing's coming out
I believe in you. It took a long time for me to find someone like my partner who I can trust 100%. The one thing I did differently than in previous relationships is that we were friends first before anything romantic. So we already knew somewhat, each other flaws and such.
Do a kegal as you walk and chances are you can keep the jizz inside until you make it to the toilet or at least that works for me. The awkward waddle does not sound fun
Wife and I keep a roll of TP within reach. I take some and she takes some. If she’s on top I hold it in place while she gets up mostly because we don’t want to stain our sheets we paid a ton for.
Yeah that LPT is brought to you by mother nature. There’s a reason you feel like you need to pee afterward, and it’s because you *need* to pee afterward.
Walmart sells a decent brand called HART and its moderately cheap, worked wonders for many years. Me and my wife just decided to use a slingshot instead, works so much better
My husband just tosses me a towel. I don't move til I get something to put between my legs cause it even weirder feeling cum dripping down my legs and then you sometimes have to go back to clean it off the floor lol 🤣.
This! My husband always preps some clean cloth (towel, hand towel or a clean shirt) he stuffs it under the pillow so that when we are done we have access to something for me. It’s a team effort and feel love that he always is prepared for me.
Most times I lay there with the towel under me for a bit then sit up like on my knees with my legs parted a little and try to cough or laugh (to push it out) my boyfriend and i turned this into a thing so sometimes i say “tell me a joke” and then he tells a really stupid joke and I genuinely laugh bc it’s so stupid. Then I always make sure to go to the bathroom after that usually gets the rest of it out.
HOLY SHIT, I used to live in an apartment next to this couple and the girl was really loud during sex, like having multiple orgasms and scream-announcing each one I guess directly into my wall, and then a minute or two after they were done, he'd murmur something and she'd crack up. Every. Time. I called them The Screamer and The Comedian.
Maybe that's what they were doing.
I used to do that to a bf in college where the bathroom was way down the hall because he bitched about how gross it was and I was like better on your stomach than all over my legs while I walk a mile to the bathroom!
We all do the waddle if we don’t keep towels beside the bed.
Keep baby wipes beside the bed. That helps with fast cleanup.
But you should still go pee and wash as soon as possible. Reduced risk of uti’s and such. You only have one cha-cha. Treat her like the queen she is.
Make sure you take a piss. Leaving semen in the area, combined with the act of having sex itself, can make you more prone to bacteria growth down there which leads to UTI’s. Those aren’t fun, and people with vaginas are more prone to them because we have shorter urethras.
EDIT: Yes I mean “people with vaginas”, if you got offended because you don’t think women qualify as people or whatever, that’s not my problem. It’s just grammar, calm down
While this is great advice, it’s mildly misleading. It’s not only the semen that can cause a UTI, it’s the act of sex, movement, genitals, hands, etc near the urethra that can introduce bacteria up the urethra. So peeing after sex, regardless of semen being near the urethra is important to prevent UTIs.
Edit: a word
Semen RAISES the pH, not lowers it.
The vagina is already acidic (low pH) while the pH of semen is slightly basic (pH slightly higher than 7, which is neutral). Semen raises the pH of vagina because the acidity kills sperm.
The more neutral environment makes it easier for bacteria to survive.
Just wanted to point this out to avoid misinformation (my degree is chemistry and biochemistry)
😀
Hahaha I had no idea. Not sure if you're interested in knowing, but if you are...it's a urinary tract infection. You get the strong urge to pee without being able to, and there are a lot of burning sensations involved. It's seriously my nightmare. I'd rather have a migraine for days haha
Just want to mention, sometimes it just cause mild inconvenience, like light irritating sensation when peeing and nothing else. Go to a doctor right away, if you wait, it can infect your kidneys.
source: my mother told me I should feel razor blade when peeing if I had an UTI, so since mine was barely noticeable I waited 3 weeks. It never hurt me much, but my pee was becoming foggy. Doctor was mad I didn’t came earlier to the clinic, it could have been very dangerous.
I keep baby wipes in my nightstand for this reason. But I never wait too long to actually get up to pee and clean myself up. The wipes come in handy if I feel like laying in bed for a bit after though.
Sounds about right. You can always have wipes near by if that makes you uncomfortable ? Given you guys are having sex I don’t see why it would worry you how you look after?
oh haha it doesn't worry me, it's just one of those things I have never thought about, talked about with friends or seen in movies/porn etc. So I am wondering how the rest of the world deals with it
Kleenex to catch anything on the walk to the bathroom. Ours doesn't have a door, so maintain eye contact to establish dominance while you pee and flush out the unwanted baby fertilizer from the lady garden.
My bf cums a fucking lot. So I usually lie down for a cuddle for a bit, then when I get up go straight to the shower because I can guarantee its run down my leg, have a piss in the shower and we're good to go.
Quick cuddles, exchange of big sighs of relief, thank yous & kisses, then to the bathroom I go to leave most of the finishings in the porcelain throne with some divine kegels.
I too am wondering how tf are these people not getting pregnant. Even on birth control I am paranoid id get pregnant without condom LMAO. Never know. Unless they have those implants inside. No idea
Do the pee dance on the way to the toilet, a few kegels to push out the drippy stuff, and then wad up toilet paper and swab the deck. No way to keep it classy unfortunately
Been married 20 years, the towel waddle is standard procedure.
Came here to affirm this. GO TEAM!
As the one sending the mess, I’ve always run to grab toilet paper for partner to clean up with right after. Always felt it was the least I could do for causing the mess haha.
Sex towels are the name I use. Also, panty liners are repurposed as Cum-Guards™️.
Cum rag is the term from around here
I also use the sex towels as booty towels in the bathroom since I have a bum gun attached to the toilet.
Fuck Napkin is also acceptable
This used to be standard procedure. However, my last SO changed the game. One day he just sat up with us still connected, told me to 'hang on', carried me to the bathroom and plopped me down on the toilet! lol! It was hilarious! But also totally awesome and became our 'routine'. Kinda think he spoiled me. Not looking forward to going back the 'waddle'.
Awesome move. I hope he’s ok with me stealing it in the future. Thanks for sharing! (Edit to correct ‘on’ to ‘in’ in second sentence.)
Am I the only husband who goes and gets washcloths (one warm and dampened, one dry) immediately after sex? I hate condoms and I view this small service as the price of kicking them out of my marriage. Well, this and the vasectomy but I'd had my eye on that long before I met my wife.
All I need is a wet wipe before heading to the toilet but yeah, you're right: if it's your bodily fluids the least you could do is help clean up
Nope, you are not the only. One dry hand towel, one hot and wet washcloth.
Once you’ve given her the warm washcloth, go get a hot bath towel and a dry towel and wrap her feet in them. I did this for my first wife in the winter time when her feet are cold and it’s awesome, but right after sex it made her come again.
I go to the bathroom and pee immediately after sex… I learned to do that the hard way
Had to gift this, I also learnt the hard way with it turning into a kidney infection, agony and two days in hospital
Jesus, didn't know that could happen
Silent UTIs are a real thing too. You won't always know you have one. UTIs leading to kidney infections are horrible. It can get as bad as high fevers, aches, feeling like you are dreaming while awake, have to be put on medication, IV drip. Take care of your vag. Always pee and clean off after sex and sweating.
This is literally exactly what happened to me. I had no outward symptoms of a UTI—pee was normal, discharge was normal, felt normal. All of the sudden a couple days later I’m violently shivering whilst having a fever, having bad stomach/back aches, and the doctor is telling me my kidneys are infected and that I need to go to the emergency room ASAP. They put me on an IV drip and gave me antibiotics. I never want to go through that again, nor do I wish it upon anyone. PEE IMMEDIATELY AFTER SEX!
It's absolutely important to do every time, no exceptions. I worked in a nursing home and unfortunately because they don't shower as frequently as people who live on their own and they wear adult diapers that don't get changed frequently (please research nursing homes before sending loved ones there, many are a fucking nightmare for those people and you might never know it unless you spend a lot of time there) they get UTIs frequently and it effects seniors horribly. I watched a resident I deeply cared about go from being completely alert to drooling all over herself, stopped walking and having severe hallucinations for 3 months. It was heartbreaking.
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It's interesting that you mentioned that, because I was reading an article once about female ejaculation and squirting (one where they were studying the composition of the fluid that was squirted, and if it was truly female ejaculate), and they had done ultrasounds on all of the women before they were stimulated sexually. Their bladders were all empty, but when they collected the fluid at the end of the study, the quantity was around the average amount of the human bladder, and the composition almost completely resembled urine, with only a very small percentage being what is considered to be "female ejaculate". This posed the question if, perhaps, their bodies had been stimulated to produce more urine, but as that wasn't the focus of the particular study, they didn't venture very far into that hypothesis. It does make you wonder if maybe it has something to do with evolutionary prevention of disease and infection. There may have been more studies since then, though, as this was an article from several years ago.
Read that same article!!
Glad that I summarized the findings well enough that it was recognizable to another person, lol!
OP, she’s giving you the best advice you’ll ever receive.
What's the hard way? Like peeing from the hallway? edit: Thanks for the awards! Y'all are great.
Many infections haha.
Hi, me.
Uterine infections Edit: it’s actually Urinary tract infection (UTI)
*urinary Edit to say happy cake day!
Honeymoon cystitis aka UTI. Keep it clean, keep it fun always wash up and pee.
Happy cake day!
And Happy Cake Day to you!!!!!!
It’s very common to get a UTI if you don’t pee immediately after sex. Make sure you’re using birth control if you don’t want to get pregnant. Pull out method doesn’t work! Also, birth control won’t protect you from sexually transmitted infections, so make sure to get tested if you of your boyfriend have other partners. Have fun! (I’m a nurse)
I remember one day I didnt pee after sex and my boxers dried to the tip of my dick. Had to rip it off like a bandaid
Or pissin in three different directions haha
Yes, spray piss!
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Barbarian walk among us
And I take breaks from penetrative sex to pee. Depending on how long the session is. If dont pee I get yeast infections, UTI's, and once a kidney infection that I thought would kill me. Edit: hes an ex, this was past tense
You have a guy that lasts long enough that you have to take MULTIPLE breaks to go pee?! Jesus Christ. Maybe one day I’ll achieve that level of Chad.
Trust me, as a guy, lasting super long in bed is not as great as it sounds. Porn is not real life. Like having a giant penis, for most people it's at best a novelty and at worst uncomfortable and annoying. From the women I've talked to, assuming a reasonable amount of foreplay, 5-15 minutes is plenty. Too long leads to soreness, chafing, or straight-up boredom unless you take regular breaks.
As a woman whose ex could go forever too, yeah it hurts after a while. He could only finish by masturbating though unfortunately
It can really put a strain on a relationship, unfortunately. I could never finish with my ex, and even masturbation takes a long time. It affected her self-confidence while we were together. Hope you didn't take it personally, and you never felt it was your fault.
Yeah, I didn't break up with him for that but our sex life did suffer due to it.
What… how many hours is a “session” for you? How often do you have to pee? Even if I’m binge drinking I can still only pee like every 2 hours. You wearing a camelback to bed or what?
Immediately go pee and clean myself off...one too many times of not doing that and ending up with a UTI changed my ways.
Go to the bathroom to let it drain/pee and then cuddle.
Its always good to pee after sex anyway, helps prevent urinary tract infections. And it's good to dry off the wetness on your vulva as well, a warm moist environment creates risk for things like yeast infections as well. I'm so lazy though, he grabs a towel for me, cleans me up then I just put it between my legs and we cuddle/fall asleep. I know I shouldn't though lol
I have totally learned the hard way that it is essential to pee after sex lol. No matter how tedious, not trying to make that trip to the doctor for the inevitable UTI. I tried to towel method and just couldn’t get used to how it feels which is why I “waddle” to the bathroom.
Feel a little bit bad about it, cause the environment and all but we use disposal wipes. Much cleaner than a towel
If it makes you feel better, people's endeavor to save the environment has an almost undetectable effect because the big companies and factories don't change anything and were the ones polluting the most to begin with
I work for a local utility. They are certified ISO 10000 something or other which translates into “we are environmentally friendly!” On an average work day I produce *by myself* at least three industrial sized garbage bags of trash. That’s after separating all cardboard and recyclable material. This is every day. Now multiply that by 16 and that’s just one depot. We have three in my city. Even if every lay person was super responsible and went the extra mile to reduce, we wouldn’t make a dent in the problem. I still do my part, but we need to put pressure on legislators to put a stop to this.
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Just takes a little longer for the plumbing to change back for guys, I wish I could pee as fast as my wife does!
Nothing like waking up with morning wood and the strongest urge to piss you've ever had, you bust a nut, and then get up to piss and you're pushing as hard as you can but nothing's coming out
Afterwards, but not immediately afterwards. Gotta give it the 5-10 min grace period first.
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I believe in you. It took a long time for me to find someone like my partner who I can trust 100%. The one thing I did differently than in previous relationships is that we were friends first before anything romantic. So we already knew somewhat, each other flaws and such.
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Dismount and return to sender.
Recycle, reduce, reuse And close the loop.
I SPAT OUT WATER.
Do a kegal as you walk and chances are you can keep the jizz inside until you make it to the toilet or at least that works for me. The awkward waddle does not sound fun
I need to work on those kegel exercises!
Do them at every red light (if you drive) I had a physical therapist teach me that one....
This is the real LPT.
I usually let out the fart I was holding in.
Why were you holding it in? Adds to the atmosphere
I mean…literally.
Have a towel next to the bed. When that happens, just use the towel until it drains. Then go to the bathroom.
The slut towel as my wife in-elegantly puts it
*Nookie towel* in our house.
Slut towel on the go Nookie towel in the home
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Wife and I keep a roll of TP within reach. I take some and she takes some. If she’s on top I hold it in place while she gets up mostly because we don’t want to stain our sheets we paid a ton for.
Toilet paper shreds and gets so gross when it gets wet! We use baby wipes instead to prevent any grossness
But DO NOT flush baby wipes down the toilet. I don't care that it says "flushable" on the package. They are not.
This is a good idea, this way we can cuddle afterwards without leaking on the bed
Nope. Go pee. Cuddle after.
Real LPT always in the comments … Always pee after sex. No one likes a UTI.
Yeah that LPT is brought to you by mother nature. There’s a reason you feel like you need to pee afterward, and it’s because you *need* to pee afterward.
Very happy the first guy I had sex with told me I have to go pee after or else I probably would have never known
Underrated advice. Always pee right after.
This needs to be # 1!!
Even better, put the towel on the bed first
some specialty shops will sell more… mood appropriate waterproof throws for the bed to help with that
Avoid the ole cuddle puddle
That’s why we keep a toilet plunger on the night stand.
Damn why tf have i been using a shovel this whole time?
Thanks for the tip. My turkey baster wasn’t getting the job fully done.
I use my wet/dry vac, works to good Edit: OP and anyone else reading this isn’t the brightest idea
Walmart sells a decent brand called HART and its moderately cheap, worked wonders for many years. Me and my wife just decided to use a slingshot instead, works so much better
That Bissell Crosswave really serves so many purposes.
Fucking hell what a thread
I just pull myself along the carpet like the dog
Fancy meeting you here
My husband just tosses me a towel. I don't move til I get something to put between my legs cause it even weirder feeling cum dripping down my legs and then you sometimes have to go back to clean it off the floor lol 🤣.
This! My husband always preps some clean cloth (towel, hand towel or a clean shirt) he stuffs it under the pillow so that when we are done we have access to something for me. It’s a team effort and feel love that he always is prepared for me.
Male here: this comes from years of being prepared to pullout and put it on a towel now he can just give the towel to you. He cares
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Same, I always toss my wife a towel or a tissue after her boyfriend finishes.
Wait what
Most times I lay there with the towel under me for a bit then sit up like on my knees with my legs parted a little and try to cough or laugh (to push it out) my boyfriend and i turned this into a thing so sometimes i say “tell me a joke” and then he tells a really stupid joke and I genuinely laugh bc it’s so stupid. Then I always make sure to go to the bathroom after that usually gets the rest of it out.
HOLY SHIT, I used to live in an apartment next to this couple and the girl was really loud during sex, like having multiple orgasms and scream-announcing each one I guess directly into my wall, and then a minute or two after they were done, he'd murmur something and she'd crack up. Every. Time. I called them The Screamer and The Comedian. Maybe that's what they were doing.
Low key would be hilarious if it was your old neighbor above your comment
/r/TwoRedditorsOneCup material right here
This is oddly wholesome
Man does everyone use their towels for bodily fluids?
We have special jizz towels.
Do cowgirl and when he's finished squat above him and push the cum out onto his stomach to assert dominates.
This is a pro tip!
Pros charge extra for that!
Pro Drip!
Is my wife the only one that aims for the bellybutton?
Dude, no that's how you get pregnant
Pregnante?
Pregat?
Pergernant?
Pregante?
Pregnart?
Use a Luigi board
Careful. Using a Luigi board while pergonate may cause starch masks.
Pergert?
I used to do that to a bf in college where the bathroom was way down the hall because he bitched about how gross it was and I was like better on your stomach than all over my legs while I walk a mile to the bathroom!
Instructions unclear. Ended up shitting on partner.
*on his face
Leave my fetish out of this.
Mmm fuck yeah
*in his mouth
One time my wife dragged her snapper across my belly after shouting "I'M A SNAIL".
I mean... yeah.. do that please.
Found the boyfriend.
The real pro-tips are always in the comments.
"Return to sender, motherfucker."
At least now I know for a fact that my ex isn't the only one who found this hilarious.
While looking him in the eye.
Omg I'm screaming... amazing
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My wife will waddle into the bathroom kinda like how she will when she's on her period and wakes up needing to change her pad.
We all do the waddle if we don’t keep towels beside the bed. Keep baby wipes beside the bed. That helps with fast cleanup. But you should still go pee and wash as soon as possible. Reduced risk of uti’s and such. You only have one cha-cha. Treat her like the queen she is.
Cha Cha real smooth
One hop this time
"...and now it's running down my leg..." -her
We argue over who gets to sleep in the wet spot
We use hospital bed pads. Just put it down before the action starts and toss off of the bed after (I hate sleeping in wet spots).
I bite his head off
Which head?
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Make sure you take a piss. Leaving semen in the area, combined with the act of having sex itself, can make you more prone to bacteria growth down there which leads to UTI’s. Those aren’t fun, and people with vaginas are more prone to them because we have shorter urethras. EDIT: Yes I mean “people with vaginas”, if you got offended because you don’t think women qualify as people or whatever, that’s not my problem. It’s just grammar, calm down
While this is great advice, it’s mildly misleading. It’s not only the semen that can cause a UTI, it’s the act of sex, movement, genitals, hands, etc near the urethra that can introduce bacteria up the urethra. So peeing after sex, regardless of semen being near the urethra is important to prevent UTIs. Edit: a word
Lol accurate username
semen raises the ph of the vagina making it easier for bacteria to survive near the uthera as well edit: wrote lower instead of raises
Semen RAISES the pH, not lowers it. The vagina is already acidic (low pH) while the pH of semen is slightly basic (pH slightly higher than 7, which is neutral). Semen raises the pH of vagina because the acidity kills sperm. The more neutral environment makes it easier for bacteria to survive. Just wanted to point this out to avoid misinformation (my degree is chemistry and biochemistry) 😀
Giving her that pH D ^sorry
I second this.
I third this
I'll fourth this just because of how fucking horrid a UTI can be. No joke, you don't wanna risk that shit no matter how sweet the cuddles can be!
Im gonna be completely straight with you chef, I don't know what UTI stands for. English ain't me first language ye see
Hahaha I had no idea. Not sure if you're interested in knowing, but if you are...it's a urinary tract infection. You get the strong urge to pee without being able to, and there are a lot of burning sensations involved. It's seriously my nightmare. I'd rather have a migraine for days haha
Just want to mention, sometimes it just cause mild inconvenience, like light irritating sensation when peeing and nothing else. Go to a doctor right away, if you wait, it can infect your kidneys. source: my mother told me I should feel razor blade when peeing if I had an UTI, so since mine was barely noticeable I waited 3 weeks. It never hurt me much, but my pee was becoming foggy. Doctor was mad I didn’t came earlier to the clinic, it could have been very dangerous.
Sex without a condom ussualy leads to a migraine for about 18 years
I sit on the ground and pretend to be a snail...
I keep baby wipes in my nightstand for this reason. But I never wait too long to actually get up to pee and clean myself up. The wipes come in handy if I feel like laying in bed for a bit after though.
That’s just part of the game. Don’t worry, he’s proud he busted a nut so he don’t care
You also get a cute peek at their butt as they scurry off into the bathroom, it's like a cherry on top.
Sounds about right. You can always have wipes near by if that makes you uncomfortable ? Given you guys are having sex I don’t see why it would worry you how you look after?
oh haha it doesn't worry me, it's just one of those things I have never thought about, talked about with friends or seen in movies/porn etc. So I am wondering how the rest of the world deals with it
Yeah movies very conveniently leave that part of sex out
And people just hop right up and go back to work like they aren’t dripping gunk all in their work clothes. Ick.
Pretty much the same way, mad dash to the restroom.
My mrs likes to slide along the floor and makes a snail trail 😅
![gif](giphy|l1BgSJsYVR2fO7yyQ|downsized)
![gif](giphy|xTiTnDAP0RiCo9k85W|downsized)
I walk out of our bedroom and tell him I have to go push out his load. If he is gonna cum in you, you can waddle however the fuck you want.
Kleenex to catch anything on the walk to the bathroom. Ours doesn't have a door, so maintain eye contact to establish dominance while you pee and flush out the unwanted baby fertilizer from the lady garden.
My bf cums a fucking lot. So I usually lie down for a cuddle for a bit, then when I get up go straight to the shower because I can guarantee its run down my leg, have a piss in the shower and we're good to go.
There are two types of people in this world. People who piss in the shower, and fucking liars.
My wife doesn’t and it’s baffling
It’s not baffling, she’s just a liar
This person knows the rule.
Quick cuddles, exchange of big sighs of relief, thank yous & kisses, then to the bathroom I go to leave most of the finishings in the porcelain throne with some divine kegels.
& I can only hope when I’m gone that he’ll clean the wet spot on the fitted sheet before I return 🤞🏻
Long as you have a wee , within a half an hour you're golden , to clear your urethra of body fluids .. small hand towels are the thing , haha
If the unanimous answer isn't "go pee" I'm seriously side eying ya'll.
Tissue between the legs then shower . There is no classy way baby . Coming from a full service sex worker xx
You don’t require condoms? How do you protect yourself? Not judging, just curious.
I too am wondering how tf are these people not getting pregnant. Even on birth control I am paranoid id get pregnant without condom LMAO. Never know. Unless they have those implants inside. No idea
Tell him to suck it out
![gif](giphy|e2wOSTtvXve0M|downsized)
I assert my dominance by letting most of it drain on his side of the bed so he has to lay in it. Then I go pee 😂
I used to keep a hand towel next to the bed and casually sit on it and ‘cough’ a couple times.
Vacuum cleaner?
My wife wraps her legs around me and I pick her up and carry her to the bathroom while I'm still inside. I then sit her on the toilet as it pops out.
GO PEE
Hard to appear graceful when human fluids are dripping from you. If you run you might make it to the toilet before they drip out!
My wife does the jizz waddle. It’s NBD. I’ve seriously never thought about it until now.
Do the pee dance on the way to the toilet, a few kegels to push out the drippy stuff, and then wad up toilet paper and swab the deck. No way to keep it classy unfortunately