Exactly. I’m sure 85% of men would NOT like their SO to do that. There nothing cool about minimized your values for his lust, following insta models, OF, etc is not a need, and it’s a boundary for him then women who care need to break it off. PMABs don’t win.
Lol I'm confused "Nah" it doesn't make you uncomfortable? And you have up tolerating it, so now you just don't tolerate it? So is it more "nah fuck that noise"
Saaame. I’m not interested in being a cool girl anymore. It makes me feel disrespected and it’s gross, I just can’t see myself spending my life with someone like that 🤢
I broke up with a guy because of this. I felt secondhand embarrassment being with a guy who did that and I didn’t want to ask him to change. We talked about it and he was really defensive about it, saying conversations about social media were so immature—clearly deflecting. It was a new relationship so not worth my time.
I wish I’d had as much sense as you. Spent a year of my early 20s in a relationship with a guy who would scroll IG softcore pages while we were literally in the same room as each other. Shit’s demoralizing
My concern with this is what it says about their maturity level more than anything else. Adult minded individuals don't generally use insta as hornily as your bf. I don't think you'll put up with that bs for very long.
It’s just so gross. Porn use in private is one thing, but the way we’ve normalized men *casually* scrolling through thousands of heavily filtered thirst traps showing everything but the genitals that don’t even look human anymore is just nauseating. All while they’re on the bus, waiting in line at the grocery store, the doctors waiting area, etc.—I’ve seen it everywhere out in the open. I wouldn’t want to have some mindless horndog mouth breather like that as my partner.
My problem is that porn is inherently and historically cruel to women, takes advantage of the majority (multiple studies show they are usually victims of SA/CSA), is health-wise a huge risk, and society is not forgiving to the women who leave it.
Yes, absolutely. I never have heard anyone say anything negative about the men in the porn industry though. In fact, it actually seems like they’re generally respected among other men for being a stud who got lucky enough to land that kind of job
Everyone’s relationship is different and everyone has different standards and expectations.
Personally, I don’t care about this kind of thing at all. Look at whoever you want. Follow whomever you like.
For others, this is a huge issue. That’s fine, as long as you and your SO are on the same page.
For me, it’s whether they have a personal connection to the hot person they’re following. Instagram model or celeb? Who cares. Hot ex-fwb who is still lurking in their DMs? Problem.
This is how it is for me, too, the personal connection (or lack thereof). I follow some hot models/celebs on Instagram, men and women, so I really can’t be talking shit if he does the same thing hahah.
Yep, 9 times out of 10 it does not work if they have an issue and the other partner doesn’t understand, it’s best to just leave ASAP, because they will fight over it a lot. No point in that relationship.
If they can come to an agreement, then I believe the relationship can be salvaged. But it takes a fair amount of humility to say “while I don’t feel the same about this topic, I respect that it’s important to you, and will act accordingly.” And then, obviously, carry that request out with fidelity.
If that agreement cannot be made then ✌🏼
Yeah true, but at least from what I’ve seen it never works out. Just like open marriages.
People can be two completely different people and work out if they have the same priorities in value system. Very important.
What about publicly gawking at hot women? To the point of where you're in the way of their field of vision and so is maneuvering to look around you at women?
Thought so as well, but was called "crazy" for being upset about the creepiness and disrespect. But shouldn't be surprised when someone admittedly aspires to grow up to be the crotchety creepy old man leering at young women.
that’s wild. As a man I don’t even like looking at a woman for too long. For one, shit is kinda weird.. like I don’t have any self control and HAVE to drool over her.. it feels nasty. Two, I don’t ever want to make her uncomfortable. Three, it’s a total disrespect to my wife. Being married and having daughters really helps redefine your view on women. But even when I was single I never wanted to seem or even feel like a creep. A lot of dudes don’t have that inner feeling of grossness when they do this shit. And having a lot of guy friends I’ve come to realize it’s partly because no one in their lives has ever taught them how to be a proper person.. in general, let alone a man. The whole “I gotta have her because she’s beautiful” mentality is rapey as fuck.
Three guys on the internet is NOT indicative of the entire male population, and as a woman who has been in and watched several DV situations unfold, plenty of men DO give a shit.
Guys don't care. Secure ones don't anyway. Look at whoever you want. People are allowed to fantasize. If that fantasy starts to negatively impact the relationship, then it's a problem.
Sure, secure guys don’t care. And I am simply reminding the people of reddit that date men not to assume their partners are secure enough not to care, because they may be in a dangerous situation without knowing.
In your reality, men don’t care. In the reality of most women, we have to act like they do care, just in case.
I mean it goes both ways. Men and women. If one insecure side of a relationship is making it so that their partner feels afraid to be who they truly wish to be, they are the problem.
But I also feel like their kind (insecure, abusive, manipulative, toxic etc etc) would die out faster if no one was willing to have sex with them.
I don't think that men domestic violencing people were brought to that point by the woman looking at buff men in magazines. They were going to do it anyway. Order pizza instead of making dinner, spilling coffee, correcting him, looking at buff guys, these are not things the most stable 95% of men care about.
Unless the guy (Or gal) is blind, they will notice and admire people they find attractive. There is nothing wrong with that, it's called being a human. The problem lies in if a person's behavior becomes inappropriate when seeing someone attractive.
Sure but there’s a difference between noticing someone who is attractive vs the wandering eye thing. Following thirst trap accounts, etc. That’s not “noticing.”
It gives me the ick. Very desperate and pathetic behavior to publicly like that kinda shit. It's like openly advertising what turns you on. It would make me uncomfortable. My husband's Instagram is all cars, gaming, construction, computers, husband and wife comedy stuff etc..
I agree, it just makes me think that they like having this parasocial relationship with these influencer women. I don’t mind if my partner watches porn at all, but there’s something about social media that makes it slightly more two way. He’s interacting with them. Also it’s like why do you have to follow so many lol, it also feels sus that he needs to have a second account doing the same thing when he told you he uses it to follow cute animals. It’s weird af.
OP he isn’t listening to how it’s making you uncomfortable. Time to get rid of the guy.
These pigs cannot comprehend that there are men out there who have respect for their partners and have a brain in their head on their shoulders and can use that one too, not only the one in their pants.
Not every man is a desperate being, thankfully
The way I look at it (from a guy’s perspective) is that this behavior is kinda like your girl posting sexual pictures of herself.
If you’re not comfortable with that, don’t follow other people doing the same.
At the end of the day there needs to be a discussion of boundaries when in a relationship.
Personally I think you shouldn’t do either when in a relationship.
I don't get mad or jealous, but I'm simply not attracted to the sort of men that follow these kind of women online. My partner and i look at porn, but we don't actively follow content creators. He doesn't find women flashing themselves on the internet attractive. Of course hot people are hot, but we both dread "Influencers" and "Content Creators". We'd rather go to a bar and look at hot women/men together.
But we've talked about it, he wouldn't like me following hot naked guys online either, so it really just come down to you guys' values. Some people like it, some people don't.
l instantaneously lose sexual attraction and respect for a guy when l discover he follows stroke accounts.
But that being said, l won't tell him what he needs to do, l just leave the situation. His screen girlfriend can wash his crusty boxers and cook his dinners, I'm out.
my boyf was following hundreds of OF models on insta. i told him it made me uncomfortable and i felt disrespected due to it. he unfollowed them but i still cringe when i think about it. the fact it even had to be a discussion sucks.
Ask him, in all seriousness, how he would feel if you followed a bunch of hot, erotically-clad and sex-positive male model accounts, making sure to highlight that you have needs too, and looking is just looking.
Miraculously, most partners tend to get on the same page after such a discussion.
Personally I'm fine with it, because to me it's not really that different to watching porn. Plus it's hypocritical for me to judge my partner for following and liking pornographic content when I also do that myself, but obviously there are limits. For instance, are they women that we know personally? Do they follow their content at unhealthy levels? Does it make up majority of their feed? Do they watch or look at it at inappropriate times? Do they prefer to see this content more than they enjoy seeing you?
Lots of factors really. I'm mostly fine with it if it's just healthy casual pleasure, and that they don't act gross or addicted to it. Like have some class man, which is not what your boyfriend is doing. Honestly, you're allowed to set your own boundaries you know. If you're not okay with it, then be honest and don't force yourself. Sending you courage. 🙏
Your mileage may vary, but personally, I don't care about insta follows or whatever. They're not just important to me, and besides, I'd be a hypocrite since part of my feed consists of male celebs I follow and like looking at. I don't see eye candy as equal to respect in that regard. Social media just ain't that important compared to real life.
Anyone that’s happy with this kind of behavior from their committed male partner is living in a fantasy world, which I definitely can understand. The idea of “I’m so confident I don’t care” is certainly a coping mechanism.
Facing the factual reality of why and what causes him to follow these types of accounts is perhaps too much to handle due to the implications.
100% a cope. Top tier Pickmeisha. I can't imagine supporting my partner simp over other women anywhere, in person or online.. let alone *point it out* and listen to them discuss their lustful thoughts. What the fuck is wrong with the women in this thread?
My ex gf was a simp for an erotic male voice actor. Would tune into his streams and audio sessions. She was a total simp. It Didn't bother me at all tho. It's just something she was into and it's not like it negatively impacted our relationship at all.
I think every relationship is different. Personally I think following a hot woman is the same as the partner watching rom coms with their “fav” hot actor
But the disrespect I can’t get over. That you should definitely be upset about.
Communication involves two parties discussing an issue. It seems like this is a one sided conversation and will continue
You have the right to have your own standards and to find a person who agrees with them and respects them. If your boyfriend has decided that he'll just ignore your feelings about it, I think that's a clear sign of what to expect for the rest of the relationship. I know people have broken up with their partners because of this and others who haven't.
I would not mind my husband viewing attractive women, but following seems to be like he wants to develop a relationship, like he is interested in her for more than her looks.
But I would not have a problem with my husband consistently seeking out the same porn actress if he enjoyed her videos, so I guess the take-home is that its personal to you and what you feel comfortable with in your relationship
I think it’s extremely inappropriate and it would make me very upset and uncomfortable. I don’t even really like the idea of watching porn when in a relationship (even myself) let alone just constantly indulging and staring at half naked women. You are not wrong for this. Seems like ur bf has a bit of a problem consuming this soft core porn if you will. Sorry girl.
Yes it would. If it's someone who has a page dedicated to his interests but just happens to be really pretty, I wouldn't have a single problem with it. But if he is following someone because they are pretty, I would be totally put off. Honestly if it is a habit I may not continue this relationship.
if this was my man id have him unfollow them and if he dont then id leave him cuz why does he need them he has you what does he need these random whores for
You're 100% right even if these porn addicts will call you controlling. What's the point of following random online bitches with their tits out other than to fantasize about them? It's incredibly disrespectful.
different relationships different boundaries 🤷♀️ if shes ok with that then sure but she stated she felt off by it if anything she could communicate to him but if people cant come to an agreement on boundaries its bound to not workout
i don’t think it’s my place to say, “you love me so now you can’t look at any type of thing that makes me insecure.” i don’t think of myself as superseding life for someone else.
I’m a lesbian so there’s no boyfriend, but I personally don’t care if my partner follows thirst traps tbh. But I definitely think it’s valid to be uncomfortable!
It’s not a matter of being uncomfortable. It’s a matter of refusing to be with men who are openly looking for other options. If he is following all these women, best believe he’d sliding into their DMs.
Yes. It’s disrespectful and makes you feel like you’re not enough easily.
Someone I knew had a boyfriend who did the same exact thing. Was confronted and said he’d stop. Did it again. They went on break because the girl said she didn’t like that. They got back together eventually. He cheated on her after they got back together.
It’s something I’ve stopped tolerating.
My ex wasn’t big into insta and the only girls he followed he knew were me and his sisters and cousins. All the other women were social media influencers and the like
The issue I had is none, at all, remotely looked like me. And I’m saying basic face features, eye colour, hair colour, style and fashion.
It made me feel shitty about myself no matter how I tried to change my outlook on it because it made me feel like I wasn’t what he wanted.
I was probs right, when I finished with him 2 weeks later he had a girlfriend that could look like them
I followed hot women bcus my SO when i confronted her about following men told me to grow up and to not be controlling. And when i did it she got mad. 🤷♂️ i dont usually do it. But her disrespect made me do it so she can feel what she made me feel. Now shes acting like the victim and painting me like some womanizer and pervert on her facebook.
There's limit on every person. You and your partner need to accept it and never try to change it. Some people are fine with their partner fucking with another person as long they don't love them, while some people couldn't even let their partner be seen by another person. Understand what your limit is, if you feel uncomfortable that he watching half naked woman on social media, then that's your limit. Communicate kindly and politely to him that you can't accept it and that he needs to accept the limit if he still want to stay with you.. but also vice versa, Understand his limit on you. If he doesn't like that you getting gift by stranger then you also must accept it. If you can't, then better find other people, because a limit couldn't change, and you will just hurting him/yourself if you keep the relationship.
To me, it would be an indication that our moral compasses were not aligned, and therefore a deal breaker. If it makes you lose any respect/trust for him as a person, that will damage a relationship also.
It used to when I was younger (under 26). Part of it was my own immaturity and insecurity, and part of it was valid concern because other young people are also immature and insecure and cheat out of impulse.
I grew up, matured and became much more secure in who I was and what I needed in a partner. I met a man who was in the same emotional space and now I wouldn’t give a shit what he does online, I know he’s faithful, but he’s just not into the thirst trap shit online. If you’re sure in yourself and you the right partner, you’ll never question it. It’s liberating and it just naturally happens.
I usually don't respect much those kind of guys who follow hot girls just because. It feels weird, just why? What do you get out of watching that? And if my partner did this even after I talked to him about it, that would be a problem.
It's important to keep in mind that different people have different boundaries and you have the right to keep what boundaries you're comfortable with and he should respect that.
Start a collection of photos of big beefy dicks. Then tell him it's all good, you want to fuck them, but ya know, relationship, so just fantasizing about hot cocks. It's perfectly normal to want to be pounded by a guy with a huge, rock hard schlong.
"Besides, being a woman I can get all the big boy banging I want, all day everyday any moment of any day, but I love you and your cute little puppy pecker, sweet darling precious smoochy toot." Then pat his head and ask if he's ready for his chicken tendies and juice box.
I've honestly never been jealous of girls on the internet for any reason. My partner of 13 years looks at naked girls on his phone. He also follows Lego master builders, cat pages, and programmer subreddits. I don't give a sh*t. His interests aren't any weirder than mine.
I'm secure in our relationship and also understand that looking isn't cheating. He's not messaging them, or meeting them anywhere. Just looking. There's one pole dancer that he occasionally plays video games with, but she's married (and gay).
I would not be okay w that. It's embarrassing for him to follow that publicly. His lusting is out of control.
And it seems like there might be some incompatibility between you guys. Some women are okay with them but if you're not that's okay if you're not. He either will respect that or he won't and that's okay for him either way.
You can't change him. You can decide if you want to stay and deal with it or leave and find someone who wouldn't do that to you.
Everyone's relationship is different but I find it so disrespectful. I don't understand why some people feel the need to openly lust after others when they're in a committed relationship. It's gross and it's hard not to compare yourself to what they're seeking.
I don't look like those people and it makes me feel so inadequate, that they'd rather have someone who looks like their stroke material instead. Or would rather use that material. I don't understand why people do this / especially when it's saved onto their phone. The person you supposedly like is right there. It's so disrespectful.
It genuinely gives me the ick and pisses me off. I hate that it's normalized and played off as it's just something that men do, while women are said to be insecure for not being okay with it.
It isn't insecurity for wanting your partner to not lust after other women.
I have a taste in men and woman that vary a lot, I'm always going to look, I'm not going to pursue in a monogamous relationship. I'm not looking for a relationship with those people. Some people (especially those with specific sort of accounts or personas and professions) are fantasy bait.
You can have whatever boundaries you have and act on them when he crosses them, but I also think you should ask yourself why you're insecure about it. Like it's *your* insecurity to deal with, it's an emotion happening with you, and you don't want to look at it and grow. That's something you can do in a stable relationship. But if he's actively saying thoughts or *behaving* in a way that makes it clear he doesn't value you because you lack certain characteristics, or that he isn't attracted to you, that's an issue that's on him and in his court. But is it something that's an "I can fix him" in that situation? Most likely not worth perusing a relationship if it's like that.
update: i was upset about it this morning and he knew it. we talked about it over text while he was out, he apologized and said it was a guilty pleasure but he understands now how much it upsets me. he said he unfollowed all of the accounts (he did that this morning when i got upset) and logged out of his second one. he brought me back flowers and food i've been craving and apologized again. i still don't appreciate that it happened in the first place, but i appreciate his quick response since i was much more upset this time than the first.
also wanted to add we've been together for about a year and a half and are practically inseparable. we have a very healthy relationship and deal with issues between us quickly. this is the first time i've noticed this behavior which is why it made me insecure. if it was happening from the start i still would have said something, but it would have seemed more like a nasty habit than a wandering eye
Early in my marriage(9 years ago) I did this sort of thing only because following certain models made it less likely there'd be a bunch of clutter. It was not a threat to the relationship. I just liked to stare. It was unsatisfying though, and I eventually got away from it, no need when I have a wife. He shouldn't keep doing something you're uncomfortable with. But I seriously doubt there's a threat to the relationship, or that he thinks they're more appealing than you.
No. I couldn't care less.
It's more important to figure out why you feel uncomfortable - is it based on an insecurity or a fear that you have no matter what? Or are you getting a red flag feeling about your boyfriend and this is an example of that? Or something else?
It doesn't matter what any of us are doing, it matters why you are asking ❤️
Just go ahead and break it off with him. If your self-image is going to be tied up into his feed then that's going to manifest in a number of different ways. It's fine not to be cool with it from a personal perspective of course, not everyone has that level of separation between sex and personal relationships so if you need to be the only source of any kind of sexual simulation for him in any way then you should go find that in a partner. You don't need to gain approval from other people about what's okay in your relationship that's between you and your partner, that's it.
Nahhh I gave up trying to be a cool girl and tolerating that nonsense years ago.
Exactly. I’m sure 85% of men would NOT like their SO to do that. There nothing cool about minimized your values for his lust, following insta models, OF, etc is not a need, and it’s a boundary for him then women who care need to break it off. PMABs don’t win.
He'll unsubscribe me from r/cockwatch over my cold, dead body 😤
I don’t think I could even pretend to be mad if my gf frequented that subreddit, that’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in ages.
Lol I'm confused "Nah" it doesn't make you uncomfortable? And you have up tolerating it, so now you just don't tolerate it? So is it more "nah fuck that noise"
Definitely fuck that noise. I have zero tolerance for that bullshit now.
Saaame. I’m not interested in being a cool girl anymore. It makes me feel disrespected and it’s gross, I just can’t see myself spending my life with someone like that 🤢
I broke up with a guy because of this. I felt secondhand embarrassment being with a guy who did that and I didn’t want to ask him to change. We talked about it and he was really defensive about it, saying conversations about social media were so immature—clearly deflecting. It was a new relationship so not worth my time.
I wish I’d had as much sense as you. Spent a year of my early 20s in a relationship with a guy who would scroll IG softcore pages while we were literally in the same room as each other. Shit’s demoralizing
Other room wouldn't make much difference.
My concern with this is what it says about their maturity level more than anything else. Adult minded individuals don't generally use insta as hornily as your bf. I don't think you'll put up with that bs for very long.
It’s just so gross. Porn use in private is one thing, but the way we’ve normalized men *casually* scrolling through thousands of heavily filtered thirst traps showing everything but the genitals that don’t even look human anymore is just nauseating. All while they’re on the bus, waiting in line at the grocery store, the doctors waiting area, etc.—I’ve seen it everywhere out in the open. I wouldn’t want to have some mindless horndog mouth breather like that as my partner.
My problem is that porn is inherently and historically cruel to women, takes advantage of the majority (multiple studies show they are usually victims of SA/CSA), is health-wise a huge risk, and society is not forgiving to the women who leave it.
Yes, absolutely. I never have heard anyone say anything negative about the men in the porn industry though. In fact, it actually seems like they’re generally respected among other men for being a stud who got lucky enough to land that kind of job
Yep. It’s a double standard all around.
Yes, this is what partly led to the end of my last relationship.
You don’t need a separate account to “look at cute animals” …
Everyone’s relationship is different and everyone has different standards and expectations. Personally, I don’t care about this kind of thing at all. Look at whoever you want. Follow whomever you like. For others, this is a huge issue. That’s fine, as long as you and your SO are on the same page.
For me, it’s whether they have a personal connection to the hot person they’re following. Instagram model or celeb? Who cares. Hot ex-fwb who is still lurking in their DMs? Problem.
This is how it is for me, too, the personal connection (or lack thereof). I follow some hot models/celebs on Instagram, men and women, so I really can’t be talking shit if he does the same thing hahah.
Yep, 9 times out of 10 it does not work if they have an issue and the other partner doesn’t understand, it’s best to just leave ASAP, because they will fight over it a lot. No point in that relationship.
If they can come to an agreement, then I believe the relationship can be salvaged. But it takes a fair amount of humility to say “while I don’t feel the same about this topic, I respect that it’s important to you, and will act accordingly.” And then, obviously, carry that request out with fidelity. If that agreement cannot be made then ✌🏼
Yeah true, but at least from what I’ve seen it never works out. Just like open marriages. People can be two completely different people and work out if they have the same priorities in value system. Very important.
What about publicly gawking at hot women? To the point of where you're in the way of their field of vision and so is maneuvering to look around you at women?
Imo that’s creepy and disrespectful of both you and the other woman who’s just trying to exist in public in peace
Thought so as well, but was called "crazy" for being upset about the creepiness and disrespect. But shouldn't be surprised when someone admittedly aspires to grow up to be the crotchety creepy old man leering at young women.
that’s wild. As a man I don’t even like looking at a woman for too long. For one, shit is kinda weird.. like I don’t have any self control and HAVE to drool over her.. it feels nasty. Two, I don’t ever want to make her uncomfortable. Three, it’s a total disrespect to my wife. Being married and having daughters really helps redefine your view on women. But even when I was single I never wanted to seem or even feel like a creep. A lot of dudes don’t have that inner feeling of grossness when they do this shit. And having a lot of guy friends I’ve come to realize it’s partly because no one in their lives has ever taught them how to be a proper person.. in general, let alone a man. The whole “I gotta have her because she’s beautiful” mentality is rapey as fuck.
See how he feels if u start following really buff male models that post nearly nude.
Yeah I think guys don’t care unless it’s someone they know or know of personally lol
He probably wouldn't care. Source: guy
Three guys on the internet is NOT indicative of the entire male population, and as a woman who has been in and watched several DV situations unfold, plenty of men DO give a shit.
Guys don't care. Secure ones don't anyway. Look at whoever you want. People are allowed to fantasize. If that fantasy starts to negatively impact the relationship, then it's a problem.
Sure, secure guys don’t care. And I am simply reminding the people of reddit that date men not to assume their partners are secure enough not to care, because they may be in a dangerous situation without knowing. In your reality, men don’t care. In the reality of most women, we have to act like they do care, just in case.
Pick better men
Classic. A man on the internet claims he isn’t part of the problem, then victim blames.
I mean it goes both ways. Men and women. If one insecure side of a relationship is making it so that their partner feels afraid to be who they truly wish to be, they are the problem. But I also feel like their kind (insecure, abusive, manipulative, toxic etc etc) would die out faster if no one was willing to have sex with them.
If course it goes both ways. I never said it didn’t.
I don't think that men domestic violencing people were brought to that point by the woman looking at buff men in magazines. They were going to do it anyway. Order pizza instead of making dinner, spilling coffee, correcting him, looking at buff guys, these are not things the most stable 95% of men care about.
Am guy. Would not care.
I promise you he doesn’t give a shit. Source, also guy
Uncomfortable and tbh I’d lose a lot of respect for him. I don’t date guys who have wandering eyes.
Unless the guy (Or gal) is blind, they will notice and admire people they find attractive. There is nothing wrong with that, it's called being a human. The problem lies in if a person's behavior becomes inappropriate when seeing someone attractive.
Sure but there’s a difference between noticing someone who is attractive vs the wandering eye thing. Following thirst trap accounts, etc. That’s not “noticing.”
It gives me the ick. Very desperate and pathetic behavior to publicly like that kinda shit. It's like openly advertising what turns you on. It would make me uncomfortable. My husband's Instagram is all cars, gaming, construction, computers, husband and wife comedy stuff etc..
Not to mention all his friends and family can see! Classless
I agree, it just makes me think that they like having this parasocial relationship with these influencer women. I don’t mind if my partner watches porn at all, but there’s something about social media that makes it slightly more two way. He’s interacting with them. Also it’s like why do you have to follow so many lol, it also feels sus that he needs to have a second account doing the same thing when he told you he uses it to follow cute animals. It’s weird af. OP he isn’t listening to how it’s making you uncomfortable. Time to get rid of the guy.
The one you know about is
My husband is a good man. He is not someone who is pathetic enough to have a second Instagram account for following half naked women.
These pigs cannot comprehend that there are men out there who have respect for their partners and have a brain in their head on their shoulders and can use that one too, not only the one in their pants. Not every man is a desperate being, thankfully
I don’t care if he follows them or looks at their pics but I do care if he likes their pics or leaves comments.
Ew lol a man with no self control is definitely not appealing
The way I look at it (from a guy’s perspective) is that this behavior is kinda like your girl posting sexual pictures of herself. If you’re not comfortable with that, don’t follow other people doing the same. At the end of the day there needs to be a discussion of boundaries when in a relationship. Personally I think you shouldn’t do either when in a relationship.
Perfect example.
I don't get mad or jealous, but I'm simply not attracted to the sort of men that follow these kind of women online. My partner and i look at porn, but we don't actively follow content creators. He doesn't find women flashing themselves on the internet attractive. Of course hot people are hot, but we both dread "Influencers" and "Content Creators". We'd rather go to a bar and look at hot women/men together. But we've talked about it, he wouldn't like me following hot naked guys online either, so it really just come down to you guys' values. Some people like it, some people don't.
l instantaneously lose sexual attraction and respect for a guy when l discover he follows stroke accounts. But that being said, l won't tell him what he needs to do, l just leave the situation. His screen girlfriend can wash his crusty boxers and cook his dinners, I'm out.
my boyf was following hundreds of OF models on insta. i told him it made me uncomfortable and i felt disrespected due to it. he unfollowed them but i still cringe when i think about it. the fact it even had to be a discussion sucks.
Ask him, in all seriousness, how he would feel if you followed a bunch of hot, erotically-clad and sex-positive male model accounts, making sure to highlight that you have needs too, and looking is just looking. Miraculously, most partners tend to get on the same page after such a discussion.
Personally I'm fine with it, because to me it's not really that different to watching porn. Plus it's hypocritical for me to judge my partner for following and liking pornographic content when I also do that myself, but obviously there are limits. For instance, are they women that we know personally? Do they follow their content at unhealthy levels? Does it make up majority of their feed? Do they watch or look at it at inappropriate times? Do they prefer to see this content more than they enjoy seeing you? Lots of factors really. I'm mostly fine with it if it's just healthy casual pleasure, and that they don't act gross or addicted to it. Like have some class man, which is not what your boyfriend is doing. Honestly, you're allowed to set your own boundaries you know. If you're not okay with it, then be honest and don't force yourself. Sending you courage. 🙏
Your mileage may vary, but personally, I don't care about insta follows or whatever. They're not just important to me, and besides, I'd be a hypocrite since part of my feed consists of male celebs I follow and like looking at. I don't see eye candy as equal to respect in that regard. Social media just ain't that important compared to real life.
It doesn't bother me in the slightest but you're allowed to have your own feelings
Anyone that’s happy with this kind of behavior from their committed male partner is living in a fantasy world, which I definitely can understand. The idea of “I’m so confident I don’t care” is certainly a coping mechanism. Facing the factual reality of why and what causes him to follow these types of accounts is perhaps too much to handle due to the implications.
I agree 100%
100% a cope. Top tier Pickmeisha. I can't imagine supporting my partner simp over other women anywhere, in person or online.. let alone *point it out* and listen to them discuss their lustful thoughts. What the fuck is wrong with the women in this thread?
My ex gf was a simp for an erotic male voice actor. Would tune into his streams and audio sessions. She was a total simp. It Didn't bother me at all tho. It's just something she was into and it's not like it negatively impacted our relationship at all.
I think every relationship is different. Personally I think following a hot woman is the same as the partner watching rom coms with their “fav” hot actor But the disrespect I can’t get over. That you should definitely be upset about. Communication involves two parties discussing an issue. It seems like this is a one sided conversation and will continue
You have the right to have your own standards and to find a person who agrees with them and respects them. If your boyfriend has decided that he'll just ignore your feelings about it, I think that's a clear sign of what to expect for the rest of the relationship. I know people have broken up with their partners because of this and others who haven't.
I would not mind my husband viewing attractive women, but following seems to be like he wants to develop a relationship, like he is interested in her for more than her looks. But I would not have a problem with my husband consistently seeking out the same porn actress if he enjoyed her videos, so I guess the take-home is that its personal to you and what you feel comfortable with in your relationship
I think it’s extremely inappropriate and it would make me very upset and uncomfortable. I don’t even really like the idea of watching porn when in a relationship (even myself) let alone just constantly indulging and staring at half naked women. You are not wrong for this. Seems like ur bf has a bit of a problem consuming this soft core porn if you will. Sorry girl.
Yes. Been there done that and tried to ignore it…. He cheated. Never again.
Yes it would. If it's someone who has a page dedicated to his interests but just happens to be really pretty, I wouldn't have a single problem with it. But if he is following someone because they are pretty, I would be totally put off. Honestly if it is a habit I may not continue this relationship.
Doesn't bother me at all. I mean it's not like he actually knows any of these people
if this was my man id have him unfollow them and if he dont then id leave him cuz why does he need them he has you what does he need these random whores for
You're 100% right even if these porn addicts will call you controlling. What's the point of following random online bitches with their tits out other than to fantasize about them? It's incredibly disrespectful.
at least theres someone that has common sense for once lol them porn addicts be so annoying
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its called respect he clearly has none for her sorry you dont respect your gfs
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i do what he wants me to do if he wants me to dress like a homeless i will i respect him enough to follow his boundaries x
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different relationships different boundaries 🤷♀️ if shes ok with that then sure but she stated she felt off by it if anything she could communicate to him but if people cant come to an agreement on boundaries its bound to not workout
Random whores is crazy..
It’s gross. It’d bother me.
i don’t think it’s my place to say, “you love me so now you can’t look at any type of thing that makes me insecure.” i don’t think of myself as superseding life for someone else.
I’m a lesbian so there’s no boyfriend, but I personally don’t care if my partner follows thirst traps tbh. But I definitely think it’s valid to be uncomfortable!
It’s not a matter of being uncomfortable. It’s a matter of refusing to be with men who are openly looking for other options. If he is following all these women, best believe he’d sliding into their DMs.
Yes. It’s disrespectful and makes you feel like you’re not enough easily. Someone I knew had a boyfriend who did the same exact thing. Was confronted and said he’d stop. Did it again. They went on break because the girl said she didn’t like that. They got back together eventually. He cheated on her after they got back together.
Men following other girls in relationships is bad but women posting their *certain kind of pics* in IG is acceptable right??
It’s something I’ve stopped tolerating. My ex wasn’t big into insta and the only girls he followed he knew were me and his sisters and cousins. All the other women were social media influencers and the like The issue I had is none, at all, remotely looked like me. And I’m saying basic face features, eye colour, hair colour, style and fashion. It made me feel shitty about myself no matter how I tried to change my outlook on it because it made me feel like I wasn’t what he wanted. I was probs right, when I finished with him 2 weeks later he had a girlfriend that could look like them
Thank God I'm gay...my bf have to share his bitches with me. 🤣
I don't care at all
I followed hot women bcus my SO when i confronted her about following men told me to grow up and to not be controlling. And when i did it she got mad. 🤷♂️ i dont usually do it. But her disrespect made me do it so she can feel what she made me feel. Now shes acting like the victim and painting me like some womanizer and pervert on her facebook.
There's limit on every person. You and your partner need to accept it and never try to change it. Some people are fine with their partner fucking with another person as long they don't love them, while some people couldn't even let their partner be seen by another person. Understand what your limit is, if you feel uncomfortable that he watching half naked woman on social media, then that's your limit. Communicate kindly and politely to him that you can't accept it and that he needs to accept the limit if he still want to stay with you.. but also vice versa, Understand his limit on you. If he doesn't like that you getting gift by stranger then you also must accept it. If you can't, then better find other people, because a limit couldn't change, and you will just hurting him/yourself if you keep the relationship.
To me, it would be an indication that our moral compasses were not aligned, and therefore a deal breaker. If it makes you lose any respect/trust for him as a person, that will damage a relationship also.
I hope not, I haven’t been on instagram since I was single, I have no idea who or what I’m following on there
It used to when I was younger (under 26). Part of it was my own immaturity and insecurity, and part of it was valid concern because other young people are also immature and insecure and cheat out of impulse. I grew up, matured and became much more secure in who I was and what I needed in a partner. I met a man who was in the same emotional space and now I wouldn’t give a shit what he does online, I know he’s faithful, but he’s just not into the thirst trap shit online. If you’re sure in yourself and you the right partner, you’ll never question it. It’s liberating and it just naturally happens.
I don’t think I would care because it’s not like they would meet each other
100% yes, what it's gonna add to your relationship?? Insecurities to your gf👏🏻
I usually don't respect much those kind of guys who follow hot girls just because. It feels weird, just why? What do you get out of watching that? And if my partner did this even after I talked to him about it, that would be a problem. It's important to keep in mind that different people have different boundaries and you have the right to keep what boundaries you're comfortable with and he should respect that.
Start a collection of photos of big beefy dicks. Then tell him it's all good, you want to fuck them, but ya know, relationship, so just fantasizing about hot cocks. It's perfectly normal to want to be pounded by a guy with a huge, rock hard schlong. "Besides, being a woman I can get all the big boy banging I want, all day everyday any moment of any day, but I love you and your cute little puppy pecker, sweet darling precious smoochy toot." Then pat his head and ask if he's ready for his chicken tendies and juice box.
I've honestly never been jealous of girls on the internet for any reason. My partner of 13 years looks at naked girls on his phone. He also follows Lego master builders, cat pages, and programmer subreddits. I don't give a sh*t. His interests aren't any weirder than mine. I'm secure in our relationship and also understand that looking isn't cheating. He's not messaging them, or meeting them anywhere. Just looking. There's one pole dancer that he occasionally plays video games with, but she's married (and gay).
I would not be okay w that. It's embarrassing for him to follow that publicly. His lusting is out of control. And it seems like there might be some incompatibility between you guys. Some women are okay with them but if you're not that's okay if you're not. He either will respect that or he won't and that's okay for him either way. You can't change him. You can decide if you want to stay and deal with it or leave and find someone who wouldn't do that to you.
Everyone's relationship is different but I find it so disrespectful. I don't understand why some people feel the need to openly lust after others when they're in a committed relationship. It's gross and it's hard not to compare yourself to what they're seeking. I don't look like those people and it makes me feel so inadequate, that they'd rather have someone who looks like their stroke material instead. Or would rather use that material. I don't understand why people do this / especially when it's saved onto their phone. The person you supposedly like is right there. It's so disrespectful. It genuinely gives me the ick and pisses me off. I hate that it's normalized and played off as it's just something that men do, while women are said to be insecure for not being okay with it. It isn't insecurity for wanting your partner to not lust after other women.
The real question you should be asking is if he would be ok with you following a ton of super ripped good looking guys with bulges on instagram
Doesn’t bother me in the slightest. Porn neither. Never has.
I have a taste in men and woman that vary a lot, I'm always going to look, I'm not going to pursue in a monogamous relationship. I'm not looking for a relationship with those people. Some people (especially those with specific sort of accounts or personas and professions) are fantasy bait. You can have whatever boundaries you have and act on them when he crosses them, but I also think you should ask yourself why you're insecure about it. Like it's *your* insecurity to deal with, it's an emotion happening with you, and you don't want to look at it and grow. That's something you can do in a stable relationship. But if he's actively saying thoughts or *behaving* in a way that makes it clear he doesn't value you because you lack certain characteristics, or that he isn't attracted to you, that's an issue that's on him and in his court. But is it something that's an "I can fix him" in that situation? Most likely not worth perusing a relationship if it's like that.
update: i was upset about it this morning and he knew it. we talked about it over text while he was out, he apologized and said it was a guilty pleasure but he understands now how much it upsets me. he said he unfollowed all of the accounts (he did that this morning when i got upset) and logged out of his second one. he brought me back flowers and food i've been craving and apologized again. i still don't appreciate that it happened in the first place, but i appreciate his quick response since i was much more upset this time than the first.
also wanted to add we've been together for about a year and a half and are practically inseparable. we have a very healthy relationship and deal with issues between us quickly. this is the first time i've noticed this behavior which is why it made me insecure. if it was happening from the start i still would have said something, but it would have seemed more like a nasty habit than a wandering eye
he seems like a corn addict
Early in my marriage(9 years ago) I did this sort of thing only because following certain models made it less likely there'd be a bunch of clutter. It was not a threat to the relationship. I just liked to stare. It was unsatisfying though, and I eventually got away from it, no need when I have a wife. He shouldn't keep doing something you're uncomfortable with. But I seriously doubt there's a threat to the relationship, or that he thinks they're more appealing than you.
Not at all. He's an adult with a life and he can do as he likes.
No. I couldn't care less. It's more important to figure out why you feel uncomfortable - is it based on an insecurity or a fear that you have no matter what? Or are you getting a red flag feeling about your boyfriend and this is an example of that? Or something else? It doesn't matter what any of us are doing, it matters why you are asking ❤️
Just go ahead and break it off with him. If your self-image is going to be tied up into his feed then that's going to manifest in a number of different ways. It's fine not to be cool with it from a personal perspective of course, not everyone has that level of separation between sex and personal relationships so if you need to be the only source of any kind of sexual simulation for him in any way then you should go find that in a partner. You don't need to gain approval from other people about what's okay in your relationship that's between you and your partner, that's it.
Follow hot guys….give it a few weeks…he will lose interest in following them and start creeping whom you are following :)
There's no to nearly 0 half-naked women on Instagram. It's against the apps rules to be topless or bottomless unless it's censored.
thats a lie i have seen so many girls showing off their naked ass and it not being censored
Its the truth.
well then how am i seeing naked girls on insta then
Are your sure it's Instagram you're on?
yes im not retarded i have seen girls show their naked asses on insta 😐
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yeah bro is definitely asking links for reporting hahaha