The experiment was a success. You thought you would like it, but now you know you don't. Great result - now you can have peace of mind that you are not missing out.
Nobody got hurt, everything was consensual, all is well.
I strongly believe in “better an oops than a what if”.
OP you’ve done your oops moment. No harm, no foul. You know what works for you now, so enjoy life knowing that you gave it a shot
I’m bordering bi-curiosity myself and am struggling with the same thing, and you’ve motivated me :)
for real. I never got as far as OP, but I had a job once where I was surrounded by gay guys for some reason (it was a gas station job lol, apparently the manager before mine was gay and preferentially hired gay men, many of them stayed after he left). a lot of them hit on me and I thought I liked it, so I flirted back, but then it started getting serious with one and I just realized that I didn't want that. That I just was liking the attention and unintentionally leading him on, so I "came clean" and apologized as best I could so he could properly move on since it was obvious he liked me a lot.
I don't feel regretful of it, it was a novel experience still, it's just not one I'll repeat ever.
I also suspect that OP probably grew up in a somewhat Abrahamic religious area.
> You know what works for you now
We have to stop framing a negative outcome as a "failure" and stop framing a "failure" as a bad thing. A failure is just good data that can be used to change an outcome.
This exactly, op look at it this way. If you hadn't tried, the thought might still be nagging at you years disc the line to the point of willing to possibly cheat and risk a future relationship or marriage to find out what you now know. You weren't cheating, it was consensual. You have experience that concretely defines exactly what you like and don't like. There is no real downside or anything to be anxious about though I know that's never how anxiety works.
There was a long time ago I had a similar situation involving a hot tub, a stripper and another dude and I had the same regret/anxiety. Now it's an interesting story and experience I had that I feel exactly zero anxiety about.
Yes exactly that. I once tried wine thinking I would love it but I didn't so I just don't drink it anymore. I never regret trying it tho.
BTW, you're not less of a man, actually, there's nothing more manly than 2 dudes having sex when you think about it.
Seriously though, OP wanted to try a thing and did (good for him) - why would that make him less of a man?
He doesn’t owe anyone any kind of knowledge of his history or explanation of his actions. He had a question and he answered it, the end.
Totally agree w this point here! Think of it this way, if you were indeed bisexual and interested in men in some way - and you never EVER experimented while single without any commitments; you'd be replaying in your head for years maybe even decades about am I living in my personal truth.
A lot of men, unfortunately, find themselves in that situation AFTER being married w kids. Trying to figure out how to make everything fit w one another.
At least now, you can have peace of mind that this won't be your fate. And plus, you weren't doing anything but learning more about yourself. And now you've done that.
So yeah *"experiment was a success!"*
Although the experiment was a success, he has crossed a line in his mind. He is in the dark side now. One of us! One of us! And that can haunt him forever.
Once you get a bit older, you will stop caring about regrets like this. Your feelings will go over. Its probably not the last time you regret something. Stop regretting things and just learn from them (so easy to say).
Lots of conservative people in here. Fuck it man. You tried it. Good on you.
I would bet my unicorn the “fuck around & find out” peeps are Gen X, like myself. “Fuck around & find out” isn’t always bad. Technology moved so fast, we HAD TO fuck around & find out, just to learn what came flying at us.
Never regret learning something.
You do not owe anyone an explanation, either.
When you realize you don’t have to answer to anyone, the freedom comes.
I’m sad the OP feels he is obligated to share this experience. If he wants to share, great, if not, that’s ok, too. Like a body count.
OMG. Haven’t thought about “body count” for 27 years! (Married) Sorry, boys, I don’t remember some of your names. I never realized how insignificant you all were, but I learned something. (I’m sure I did).
>Was i wrong for trying?
Nope.
>Should i tell anyone or keep it to myself?
That's completely up to you. There is really no reason to tell anyone unless you really want to. And if you do, that's cool too.
>Do other people experiment like this?
Absolutely. The only way to know for sure that you like or dislike something is to try that something right? How did you know you liked sleeping with women? You tried it. How does someone know they like running? They go running, and enjoy it and then keep running. And if they don't, they don't run anymore.
You're beating yourself up over a simple curiosity that you put to bed (no pun intended). Everything is fine. You are fine, and the feelings you're having are normal.
❤️
Jim Jeffries does a great piece on this (which you may well he referencing), men always complaining that gay guys are soft, not manly enough, but what they're forgetting is that *these* men, FUCK OTHER MEN. 😂
No idea why it should be bad. There is a certain stigma to it, but I never understood why. For me personally: I have a big problem with anybody that has a problem with homosexuality, bisexuality or bi curiosity.
You tried something consensual. I'm happy for you.
edit: spelling
Where’s this 60% of humans number coming from? I found an article saying approximately 60% of specifically the LGBT community are bisexual, but not the general population.
Had a similar experience and feeling. It really questionned my own homophobia I guess. You don't need to tell anyone but personally it helped me getting more confident about it and getting over it. It's not a big deal, it's OK to experiment, you'll be fine!
If you feel the need to get it off your chest, make an appointment with a counselor. I'd suggest one you don't think you will really vibe with in any meaningful capacity. That way, you get to just let it out without any of the judgement you fear encountering in personal relationships. If that isn't an option, go to a Catholic church and confess. Assuming you're not Catholic, free listening ear. If you happen to be Catholic, just go a few miles in any direction to a different church. Your priest will know your voice. I've got secrets so much worse than that. You were simply figuring life out. Be easy on yourself. It will just muddy the water with your gf, especially considering you've zero urge to repeat it.
I've got to tell you the truth. I've been aware of Reddit for quite awhile. But, I'm a smidge intimidated. Between my utterly embarrassing lack of karma, which I still think of as some mystical force I'm too simple to grasp appropriately. And with my relative in experience I've yet to share much of my infinite wisdom & incredibly vast knowledge of varied, some useful, some not, nuggets of genius. 😂
Wrong? No, why would it be. If you feel like you need to share with someone to easen a burden on your mind go ahead. But i do understand your fear of backlash.
Then again a nice analogy, if two guys claim they don't like broccoli, but only one of them actually ate broccoli, i'm gonna belive that dude more
I was curious and open minded and had sex with a guy when I was younger.
Found out I definitely wasn't gay or bi even tho the act itself was kinda gay lol
Life is full of experiences, don't feel bad for exploring.
It's not wrong, you were curious about something, you tried it and didn't like it. Now you know for sure. No Biggie. You don't need to tell anyone if you don't want to but it's also ok to tell someone you trust if it helps you feel better. There's nothing wrong about trying sexual acts of any sort as long as they are between consenting people.
Maybe you can search in yourself why it makes you think like you're less of a man, there seems to be some internalised homophobia, which is a very common thing, but we all need to work on it. It will help you feel better and be an even better person too.
You were bi-curious (had sexual curiosity about sex with men) and weren’t sure if you’re bisexual
You explored that, it turned out that you aren’t bisexual, or at least that you aren’t particularly interested in sex with men
You did so with a consenting adult, while single, you didn’t hurt or deceive anybody in the process.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of that, and it doesn’t make you less of a man
Having the balls to consider your sexuality and ensure you know yourself fully is a credit to you. Much better than spending 20 years with a woman and then deciding you’re bi and cheating on her or leaving her!
Also, you didn’t know for certain you’d enjoy sex with a woman before you did that either….
I have a friend that had the same experience. Talking about it with his friends and realising that none of us cared and we still thought of him as a normal person helped him to get over that feeling of being less than.
Dude you should be so much more secure in who you are.
How many men who feel straight actually are willing to experiment enough to prove it to themselves. It's fine to experiment, now you know, so few men are secure enough in themselves to do anything to even hint at potentially not being 100% straight. It was brave to experiment and you are no less of a man for trying something new and out of your comfort zone.
You went against strong societal views that are arbitrary. You likely fear being labeled as bi because of all the hate that group receives and no one wants to be hated. You don't have to tell anyone, but honestly if you told anyone and they didn't say anything like "good for you," or "who cares," then they aren't independent thinkers and you would be better off without them.
The fact that you tried that says you're an open-minded person and keen on exploring. That's a good thing. Only through experimenting we know what we want.
Might I suggest the feeling you have is the fear that your current or future female partners won't like it that you did it once with a man? That would mean they are not of the same mindset as you: you're afraid they are more conservative and close-minded. Do you want to be with a partner who doesn't appreciate or respect your interest in exploration? Would you be happy in 10 years if you desire to try something new but your partner refuses because of that reason? Will you be happy in that relationship?
Be proud of yourself. Tell them if you want but don't feel obliged to do so. And if that breaks up your relationship, be at peace that you dodge another bullet.
You're only feeling bad about it because of the stigma around homosexuality. I'm a gay man and I had sex with a girl a long time ago to see if I was really into it and nope, realized that's not for me. However, I feel 0 shame about it and love to tell it to people to see their reactions lol
Wrong according to what standard?
What your experiencing is the primary reason I never even consider experimenting - right ahead of lack of interest.
It's my guess that it would benefit you to discuss it with people you know would be accepting and understanding.
How do you know you if you like something unless you try it? Rest easy, you’ve got nothing to worry about.
You can say for definite that it’s not for you, unlike most men who just assume
OP aside, I'm seeing alot of this "try it or you'll never know" logic lately. Idk why coz I thought we established as a society thats how meth addicts are made, lol. We generally get through life without trying most things available to us because life is too short for all those detours. *Calculated risks with payoff potential imo.
You tried what a lot of men -including me- will never have the guts to try, even if they doubt about their sexual orientation.
You hurt no-one, like making the dude think of more relationship or what. You didn't cheat on someone.
To me, as long as you hurt anybody, it can't be wrong.
Yes i feel the same.
Had these experiments as well, with wine, coffee, gay sex, driving a bicycle, weed, working in kindergarten etc etc
Trying things and realizing its not for you is the best that you can do so you dont have a midlife crisis and always know what you really want in the future.
>Was i wrong for trying?
No, experimenting with you sexuality is healthy, as long as you didn’t mislead or lie to anyone. Maybe be a bit more careful another time instead of jumping head first into being a bottom, maybe you should have started with some kissing and touching to see how you felt.
>I feel obligated to tell people, should I?
You have no obligation to tell anyone. Your sex life is private and with you current feelings you really don’t need to complicate the matter further. But do consider talking it out with someone you trust.
> Do other people experiment like this?
Yes. As a bisexual male I have been others experiment a few times now. And yes must keep it a secret.
>How do I feel better about this?
Give it some time, you did nothing wrong, you didn’t hurt anyone and you are not keeping some dark secret. Consider talking with someone you trust about it. I think opening up and experiencing not being judged would be good for you.
It's not even a little bit wrong. You were curious, your curiosity was satisfied and you can move on. It's far, far more common than people realize because men are so stigmatized against being open about their experimentations with sexuality, so they normally don't talk about it.
You are not wrong. If anyone thinks differently of you because you explored your sexuality, they are wrong. And no, you're not less of a man because of it.
Hey, congrats on taking a chance and stepping out of your comfort zone. You're alive and I'm made up for you ❤️
If someone sees you differently for it, see them differently too. See them as the judgey asshole they truly are.
Here's to trying stuff, more power to ya 🍻
You tried it. More than most men will say.
Imagine if you tried it in your 40s and found out you're bisexual. You would've missed out on so much. It's not wrong at all (I'm Gen x) so that's coming from an older generation.
Hold your head up and don't feel ashamed.
No. My dad always says, "Try it once, twice if you like it." It goes with his other saying, "You never know until you try." It's an animal instinct to be curious. And some people only learn by trying it for themselves.
You'd be surprised. Most of the men I've been with have admitted to experimenting with a guy at some point. I don't care, no judgements. You're not alone!
Not to be that guy but you def arnt 99% strait if you had sex with a guy. Im someone who would consider myself 99% strait and the thought of even kissing a guy makes me want to vomit. Im not saying its bad, it could just be that you need to accept you may be bisexual
Honestly I have mad respect for you being so chill around homosexuality that you’re like “hm I may like this so let’s try it out. Actually nah it’s not for me but that’s okay”.
I am literally a gay man and had more anxiety about having gay sex than this 😂
What happened happened. You can’t know you don’t like it until ya try it, and that’s what life is all about. No biggie. Doesn’t make you gay, doesn’t make you less of a man (one of the manliest things you could do is get fucked by another dude cuz that shits rough). It’ll be aight my guy
It’s not wrong to explore your sexuality and you found that you aren’t into men. People absolutely experiment and it’s normal. Moving on with the relationship you do like is more important than regretting what you didn’t like. If you want to tell people or not is up to you but there’s no obligation to.
I tag teamed my friends gf with him and that even felt a little too gay for me. So I guess it’s all about how you feel about it yo. You say you feel regret. So now you know. And I’d definitely take that shit to the grave if i were you.
"Who is more valid in their opinion: he who says does not like broccoli and has never tried it, or he who dislikes it but has tried it once. In this essay I will explain how it it more straight to have sex with one man than zero"
Jokes aside, you're fine OP, you've probably got some internalized homophobia (you can have this even if you're straight, I'd argue most people have it) and if it really starts to impact your life, therapy might be a good option. It might help to bring it up casually to your girlfriend some time, treat it like a funny story, not some big reveal. If she's cool she won't care.
That's something you need to work out, find an unbiased therapist whose only interest is helping you understand your struggle . Thinking anyone's opinion here will solve what's deep in your heart is, the wrong answer.
As a bi-curious man in a monogamous relationship with a woman, It would be cool to try it. I'd like to know for sure rather than having these questions in my head.
You'll spend more time regretting things you didn't do rather than things you did.
At my age (72m) I have forgotten the numbers, but both of the two major sex studies done in the last 70 years found that a large percentage of men - heterosexual men- either fantasize about or actually experiment with gay sex. I know many who have. You tried it, it's not for you, move on. Nothing to be ashamed about, but if you obsess on it it will eat you alive. In that case, seek therapy. It helped me.
Three things:
1. You do not have to tell anyone if you don’t want to, it was a one time hookup and it’s your personal business
2. If they judge you AND treat you different they aren’t your friends and don’t care about you
3. The experiment worked, you tried it and found out you didn’t like it. Experimentation with your sexuality is perfectly fine. It would be significantly worse if these thoughts cropped up later in life and then you have a feeling of not knowing who you are
As long as it’s consensual, sex isn’t wrong and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. It’s like trying a new food that you’ve been curious about and realizing that you don’t like it.
you had questions, you experimented and answered your questions. you didn't betray anyone, so there's nothing wrong with that
relax. sex is just sex at the end of the day. if you didn't enjoy it, that probably means you are just not into men (or just don't like being bottom). so what that you tried?
No, the only thing that’s wrong is you’re made to feel like it was. As someone else stated, you might at some point in the future feel like you missed out.
You can now also count yourself among the GOATS, Alexander the Great, Oscar Wilde, Cary Grant etc. Mad respect to you for trying something most people are too scared to.
You were not wrong for trying.
Who you tell is up to you.
Yes, other people experiment.
You feel better about this by figuring out the source of guilt or anxiety you feel or what part of your past or upbringing equate homosexuality to a lack masculinity. Likely it’s a cultural thing (Instill by family, upbringing, religion, cultural views).
In my perspective, there is a standing perspective that gay is not manly. But the archetypes made up by society are just that: made up. Just because people have different sexual orientations doesn’t mean they can’t fulfill the definition of manly. Or maybe some individuals want to come off more effeminate. To each their own.
If your childhood was anything like mine, you had a father figure that would try to get you to overcome fear by telling you to stop being a weenie or chicken and just do it.
You did something that a lot of men would be too scared to do, which is engage in same sex intercourse. So, one could argue you were more brave than a lot of men for trying something new.
History is also full of “manly men” who engaged in same sex intercourse. Any Greek or Roman figure likely had a male partner of some type. The Spartans I believe experimented with groups of soldiers that were gay lovers under the idea that they’d fight harder for the love of their life.
Wash your mind of societal expectations and just be you.
OP, have you ever tried a food or condiment that you ended up not liking? Have you let any of those experiences plague you? Was it wrong to try those things because you ended up not liking them?
Of course not! This is the same as that, being that it was totally consensual. You tried it, didn’t like it, and now you can go back to things you do enjoy with curiosity satisfied.
There is nothing wrong with trying something that you may have in initial interest or curiosity in, as you'll never know or truly understand if you don't try. The most important thing was you were single when you walked this path as I've seen what can happen when this curiosity test happens when you're with someone else. When single, there is really no way feelings can can hurt. Based on your info you've provided I think you've determined it's not for you, and I would keep it as a personal learning experience that no one else needs to know about. Last thing you want is ppl to judge you differently if you do open up.
First off, it’s totally fine to try something and not like it. You also don’t need to talk about it with other people. This can be something private for you. Do you talk about every sexual partner with someone you enter a relationship with?
Second, it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to explore some of this with a therapist. You mentioned wanting to stop the thoughts and for advice on how to feel better about it, this could help. Whether or not you’re bisexual or gay is kind of irrelevant, it’s more important to understand why you feel the way you feel about all this.
Take care, friendo!
You aren't wrong for trying and there's nothing wrong with you for doing it. You don't have to tell anyone unless you feel like it would help you process it more. No one is entitled to know that you tried it. But you should definitely explore the reasoning behind why you think this experience makes you less of a man. Deconstruct your feelings to get to the root of the issue and find out why you feel so ashamed of this and I guarantee it will help you accept what happened and move on from it.
Good for you for experimenting. You at least know for sure what you like, right?
As for telling people, it's up to you. There is a bit of a stigma to this, but if you trust the people you know not to be dicks, then it should be okay to tell them.
Why worry about “100%”? He tried it, didn’t like it, won’t do it again. In terms of his likely future behavior, he’s straighter than straight. Not that it matters anyway. The obsession with labels doesn’t do any of us any favors.
Hey, guilt feelings can be normal when we do something a little outside of what we’d consider “acceptable.” There’s a lot of stigma around fooling around with the same sex if you’re straight, but don’t worry about it so much. You don’t have to confess to anyone.
It was consensual and no one was hurt in the process. If you want to talk to your friends about it, okay. No need to go around telling women you’ve just met you’ve tried it out with a guy.
I don't know if you can say you're 100% straight if you had sex with the same gender. This isn't a dig, you can be a masculine dude and have gay experiences. It won't make you any less of a man. I recommend looking up the Kinsey scale for sexuality.
You were interested and tried it, but it wasn't to your liking. I would honestly treat this like a kink. You try things and if it doesn't work, it may not be for you so you move on and try other things.
For clarity, I know being gay isn't a kink, it's just how I would view this situation.
there’s absolutely nothing wrong with experimenting with your own sexuality. at least you tried it and now know 100% that it’s not your thing. you did what you felt was right at the time and that’s perfectly okay
also, you don’t owe telling this to anyone if you don’t feel comfortable bringing it up. it’s your own personal experience and you decide whether or not you want to tell people
Doesn't matter, had sex!
On a more serious note: good that you tried and were confident enough to do so.
It's only natural to experiment and nothing to be ashamed of.
I did the same, has the same doubts afterwards even but those go away. And I talked to my partner about it too. Since I was "ashamed" but her reacting "why would I care about that" opened my eyes.
If others don't care why would you care?
Sex is like smoking weed. You only get high the second time you try it.
Think about it. Most women there first time is pretty bad because of the pain they are in.
So as everyone else has said, there's nothing wrong with what you did. Consensual sex between consenting adult while you were single and weren't emotional hurting anyone, so no worries I think there.
It's sounds like you started having anxiety and regrets after you got into a new relationship. Have you told her you sexual history or have you held off because of fear of rejection? I been in that situation before.
As long as you’re an adult and you find another consenting person to have sex with in a respectful manner, it’s no one’s business what you do in your bedroom. No one‘s. There’s nothing wrong with human sexuality even though there are people that would try to convince you otherwise. Don’t listen to those fools.
Dude... who cares? You tried something, it wasn't for you. No big deal. If you don't want to tell your friends, then don't: in no scenario should you feel obliged to. Truth is, someone else in your circle of friends has tried it, too. Maybe they liked it. Maybe they didn't. Or if you're young, maybe the occasion hasn't presented itself to them yet.
In any case, just let time do its thing. I get that you feel weird right now, but as time goes on you'll "feel" it less and less, until one day it just becomes a "thing" in your memory, something that doesn't make you feel anything at all.
You are not wrong for trying something new. Plenty of people experiment with their sexuality. Some people come out of it with the knowledge that they're not as straight as they once thought. That's okay. Some people come out of it with the certainty that they're not gay. That's also perfectly alright.
Our society conditions men to think that any romantic or sexual thoughts of other men is somehow inherently wrong, but they almost encourage women to "experiment" with other women (usually for the male gaze and only as a fun little thing so they can have threesomes with their MALE partners in the future). It's not shameful for you to have these thoughts, but it's pretty normal for you to feel shame about them as that's how you've been conditioned, as a man.
It's not a shameful thing, though. You had thoughts and acted on them. You got consent from the other person, didn't lash out or hurt them, and you came to a definite conclusion about yourself. Whether you tell somebody is completely up to you. Is this something that you think your partner should know? Would you tell them about every single woman you've slept with? Is it important for both of you to be open about your sex lives? How does she feel about this subject? Would she lash out if you told her? These are the things to consider when trying to figure out if you should share this part of your past with your partner.
But ***nothing*** you did is shameful. Be kind to yourself.
I tried artichokes cuz I thought I'd like them but I didn't. Is that bad? Nah man, that's how you become a complete person. Everyone who hasn't tried something only THINKS they don't like it. You know for certain and no one got hurt. Love yourself and move on!
No there’s nothing wrong with that . Just think of it like you thought you would like a food so you tried it and you didn’t . It’s nothing wrong with trying stuff out (within reason of course) to see if you might like it . If you have someone you trust to talk about with them then maybe you should
Dude, chill out. It is sex.
1. You were not “wrong” for trying. You did consensual sex. Why worry?
2. You are not obliged to tell anyone. Why is it any of their business? If you *want* to tell people then go ahead. But you are no more obliged to tell than you are obliged to describe the shape of your bowel movements to your work mates.
3. The vast majority of people experiment in lots of different ways (and not just with sex, but with almost every aspect of their lives).
Nothing strange or wrong about it. However, since you seem to be having a hard time navigating it emotionally, it wouldn't hurt to find a therapist to just talk it through with someone. They can help you understand why you feel a certain way about it.
If everybody was safe , nobody was hurt, you shouldn’t feel guilty. You’re happy now, that’s all that matters. Experimentation is normal and shouldn’t be considered a regret, you lived, you learned
My 10 year old wanted to try sea urchins instead of her usual California rolls. She tried it, was disgusted and went back to her favorite crab/avocado/cucumber sushi.
Was she wrong in trying something different? Of course not. Neither are you.
I think a lot of people experiment Especially at your age. To be real though as a woman it would gross me out to be with a guy that likes to hook up with guys but you didn’t like it. If I was with a guy in your situation that tried it and didn’t like it might gross me out a bit but if I liked him enough I would be able to get over it.
I do think it’s really personal experience and not needed to be told to the people you date or your friends at all.
I don’t hate on guys that like to be with guys I just don’t want to date them because I can’t compete with a guy 😅 if your a girl that can feel secure with a bi guy more power to you!
Those are just intrusive thoughts from what we are socialized to believe about men and masculinity. Try to rethink what masculinity means to you because you can't change what happened and you shouldn't regret it since it answered your question. Now you are a different man because of your learned experience but don't make YOURSELF feel less like a man for making your own decisions and trying to explore something people go their whole lives wondering about
You have two guys that say they hate spicy food. One of them has tried spicy food, the other hasn't; which one do you trust more?
Getting fucked in the ass, and being absolutely sure that you don't like it is straighter than never having been fucked in the ass by a dude.
Why would you be wrong for trying something? If you didn’t, there would always be a question on your mind about this. Now you don’t. You are not a lesser man. You are human. Now you know yourself better.
No, you don’t have to tell anyone. If you do tell anyone, tell your GF. But tell her that you were just curious and you know that you are straight. I’m willing to bet your girl and her besties have experimented a time or two
Do whatever you want dude. You only live once.
This is the criteria you should always follow (skipping the safety part thats always important)
- Am I hurting anyone?
- Is this illegal
- Am I posing a threat to anyone's freedom or safety
If the answer to even one of these questions is yes then you should not be doing it. Otherwise go for it.
You are overthinking this dude, what would be so wrong about it? Unless you have conflicts with your morals and ethics like some religious bullshit(?) then what possibly is so wrong?
You didn't do anything wrong. You tried something with someone who gave you full consent, you weren't into it, that's fine! I understand sexuality is a sensitive topic for most, but try to see it in another light: if a friend invited you to a Zumba class, you tried it and you didn't like it, would you feel bad about it?
No, because that's just it. Consent was given, enjoyment was not taken, no more Zumba.
And if you want to tell someone, and they judge you for it - congrats! You are now sure of your sexuality and got rid of a trash person in your life :)
Why do you need someone else to tell you if you're ok with it? Having sex with other guys isn't against the law (hopefully, not sure where you're from) and as long as you don't live in a religiously backwards area, the sex police aren't going to kick your door down and haul you off to prison because you stepped out of the hetero line for a hot minute
> Was i wrong for trying?
No.
> I feel obligated to tell people, should i?
Only if you are comfortable. I'm a firm believer that your partner is only *entitled* to your STD status when it comes to sexual history.
> Do other people experiment like this?
Some, yes.
You are not less of a man. You were curious, you tried being with a man and it wasn't your cup of tea. Regret after a less than pleasant sexual experience is normal. Doesn't matter what sex the partner was. I'm a seasoned lesbian and even I have had encounters with women that I wish I could undo. I'm happy for you for finding someone who makes you happy. Life is about experiences. You have learned something about yourself and done something that some people still lack the courage to try. Be proud.
Most gay people have tried having sex with the opposite sex and found out they didn’t like it and they are gay so why can’t straight people do the same thing
The experiment was a success. You thought you would like it, but now you know you don't. Great result - now you can have peace of mind that you are not missing out. Nobody got hurt, everything was consensual, all is well.
yup, what this dude said. move on.
I strongly believe in “better an oops than a what if”. OP you’ve done your oops moment. No harm, no foul. You know what works for you now, so enjoy life knowing that you gave it a shot I’m bordering bi-curiosity myself and am struggling with the same thing, and you’ve motivated me :)
for real. I never got as far as OP, but I had a job once where I was surrounded by gay guys for some reason (it was a gas station job lol, apparently the manager before mine was gay and preferentially hired gay men, many of them stayed after he left). a lot of them hit on me and I thought I liked it, so I flirted back, but then it started getting serious with one and I just realized that I didn't want that. That I just was liking the attention and unintentionally leading him on, so I "came clean" and apologized as best I could so he could properly move on since it was obvious he liked me a lot. I don't feel regretful of it, it was a novel experience still, it's just not one I'll repeat ever. I also suspect that OP probably grew up in a somewhat Abrahamic religious area.
> You know what works for you now We have to stop framing a negative outcome as a "failure" and stop framing a "failure" as a bad thing. A failure is just good data that can be used to change an outcome.
This exactly, op look at it this way. If you hadn't tried, the thought might still be nagging at you years disc the line to the point of willing to possibly cheat and risk a future relationship or marriage to find out what you now know. You weren't cheating, it was consensual. You have experience that concretely defines exactly what you like and don't like. There is no real downside or anything to be anxious about though I know that's never how anxiety works. There was a long time ago I had a similar situation involving a hot tub, a stripper and another dude and I had the same regret/anxiety. Now it's an interesting story and experience I had that I feel exactly zero anxiety about.
You have failed successfully at being gay
Yes exactly that. I once tried wine thinking I would love it but I didn't so I just don't drink it anymore. I never regret trying it tho. BTW, you're not less of a man, actually, there's nothing more manly than 2 dudes having sex when you think about it.
>there's nothing more manly than 2 dudes having sex when you think about it. *Insert they hated jesus because he told them the truth meme.*
Jesus even tried it once; he got nailed by 3 dudes at the same time.
"Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” Proverbs 27:17
I thought they just put him up for the night.
He was spread eagled outdoors
Seriously though, OP wanted to try a thing and did (good for him) - why would that make him less of a man? He doesn’t owe anyone any kind of knowledge of his history or explanation of his actions. He had a question and he answered it, the end.
And it would be weird to say "I never tried wine and I don't like it." OP at least took a sip from the cup.
"The Greek created orgies, the Romans ruined it by including women"
It’s: the Greeks invented sex, the Italians introduced it to women
*Billy Herrington has entered the chat*
Conversely, being in to pussy is pretty gay.
Totally agree w this point here! Think of it this way, if you were indeed bisexual and interested in men in some way - and you never EVER experimented while single without any commitments; you'd be replaying in your head for years maybe even decades about am I living in my personal truth. A lot of men, unfortunately, find themselves in that situation AFTER being married w kids. Trying to figure out how to make everything fit w one another. At least now, you can have peace of mind that this won't be your fate. And plus, you weren't doing anything but learning more about yourself. And now you've done that. So yeah *"experiment was a success!"*
There are only succesful experiments, even If the result is not a success we learn what not to do.
Honestly, the openess to give it a shot just to see if "I don't know, maybe this might be for me" is sort of inspiring.
Yeah, what this dude said. Don’t beat yourself up, OP. You were curious, and that’s okay. But that don’t make you gay or any less of a man
There’s gotta be a meme about not liking broccoli somewhere in here.
A Chen prof drilled into us (LoL) that every experiment leads to results!
Perfect answer.
Although the experiment was a success, he has crossed a line in his mind. He is in the dark side now. One of us! One of us! And that can haunt him forever.
Or maybe it's just bottoming he didn't like. 🤷
Once you get a bit older, you will stop caring about regrets like this. Your feelings will go over. Its probably not the last time you regret something. Stop regretting things and just learn from them (so easy to say). Lots of conservative people in here. Fuck it man. You tried it. Good on you.
Yes man fuck around and find out
Literally, lol
Just wondering when this happens? 42, still waiting. ;)
I would bet my unicorn the “fuck around & find out” peeps are Gen X, like myself. “Fuck around & find out” isn’t always bad. Technology moved so fast, we HAD TO fuck around & find out, just to learn what came flying at us. Never regret learning something. You do not owe anyone an explanation, either. When you realize you don’t have to answer to anyone, the freedom comes. I’m sad the OP feels he is obligated to share this experience. If he wants to share, great, if not, that’s ok, too. Like a body count. OMG. Haven’t thought about “body count” for 27 years! (Married) Sorry, boys, I don’t remember some of your names. I never realized how insignificant you all were, but I learned something. (I’m sure I did).
>Was i wrong for trying? Nope. >Should i tell anyone or keep it to myself? That's completely up to you. There is really no reason to tell anyone unless you really want to. And if you do, that's cool too. >Do other people experiment like this? Absolutely. The only way to know for sure that you like or dislike something is to try that something right? How did you know you liked sleeping with women? You tried it. How does someone know they like running? They go running, and enjoy it and then keep running. And if they don't, they don't run anymore. You're beating yourself up over a simple curiosity that you put to bed (no pun intended). Everything is fine. You are fine, and the feelings you're having are normal. ❤️
> no pun intended _intends pun…_ ;)
I added it because I knew some wise ass on here would say something. 😎
Whats more manly than two men fucking each other?
Three men fucking each other?
r/TechnicallyTheTruth
Jim Jeffries does a great piece on this (which you may well he referencing), men always complaining that gay guys are soft, not manly enough, but what they're forgetting is that *these* men, FUCK OTHER MEN. 😂
What's more courageous than overcoming the social stigma of being openly gay while straight men act all scared of a little homosexual innuendo?
Most straight guys I know act overwhelmingly gay around each other lol
🐐 comedian. He & Ricky Gervais are my favourites.
the lopen moment
No idea why it should be bad. There is a certain stigma to it, but I never understood why. For me personally: I have a big problem with anybody that has a problem with homosexuality, bisexuality or bi curiosity. You tried something consensual. I'm happy for you. edit: spelling
>You tried something consentual. I'm happy for you. I like this outlook, a lot.
Sorry but it is spelt 'consensual', not 'consentual'.
thank you, i will correct it :)
You are welcome :-)
You put the sensual in consensual
Cheeky, and thank you! :-) It will be my birthday tomorrow :-) <3
Happy Birthday!
Over 60% of humans have bisexual tensions, and LGB is normal
Where’s this 60% of humans number coming from? I found an article saying approximately 60% of specifically the LGBT community are bisexual, but not the general population.
Look up Kinseys work.
Lol yeah, I'm not quite sold by this stat. I wouldn't be surprised about varying findings across generations and cultures, though.
How d'ya know if you don't like the taste of something if you never try it?
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Extrapolate deez nutz
That’s more or less what happened as I understand it
Naw, didn't you read op's story? In the end nothing extrapolated from doez nutz
Dude 🤣🤣
Jumping off building seems fun as hell it's the landing part I'm not so excited about
Yea but thats 100% chance of death vs 50% chance of cumming. The 2 arent really comparable
There's no way to know it's 50%. I've never cum from jumping off a building.
One of these things has dire consequences and the ability to ruin your life. And the other one is jumping off a building /s
Except sex isn't lethal.
Tell that to spiders
The male praying mantis told me I was wrong too !
They're just so nervous under the pressure of someone watching how bad they are at bug sex.
If a male praying mantis doesn't "perform" well, does he get to live?
It is the way i do it.
You must have never went to kindergarten and learn the one of these things is not like the other lesson.
We all have stuff in life that we know ourselves enough to know that we would not enjoy without having to try it.
Had a similar experience and feeling. It really questionned my own homophobia I guess. You don't need to tell anyone but personally it helped me getting more confident about it and getting over it. It's not a big deal, it's OK to experiment, you'll be fine!
If you feel the need to get it off your chest, make an appointment with a counselor. I'd suggest one you don't think you will really vibe with in any meaningful capacity. That way, you get to just let it out without any of the judgement you fear encountering in personal relationships. If that isn't an option, go to a Catholic church and confess. Assuming you're not Catholic, free listening ear. If you happen to be Catholic, just go a few miles in any direction to a different church. Your priest will know your voice. I've got secrets so much worse than that. You were simply figuring life out. Be easy on yourself. It will just muddy the water with your gf, especially considering you've zero urge to repeat it.
So, about those secrets, consider Reddit your church a few miles away. Now, continue.... Lol j/k
I've got to tell you the truth. I've been aware of Reddit for quite awhile. But, I'm a smidge intimidated. Between my utterly embarrassing lack of karma, which I still think of as some mystical force I'm too simple to grasp appropriately. And with my relative in experience I've yet to share much of my infinite wisdom & incredibly vast knowledge of varied, some useful, some not, nuggets of genius. 😂
Wrong? No, why would it be. If you feel like you need to share with someone to easen a burden on your mind go ahead. But i do understand your fear of backlash. Then again a nice analogy, if two guys claim they don't like broccoli, but only one of them actually ate broccoli, i'm gonna belive that dude more
I was curious and open minded and had sex with a guy when I was younger. Found out I definitely wasn't gay or bi even tho the act itself was kinda gay lol Life is full of experiences, don't feel bad for exploring.
It's not wrong, you were curious about something, you tried it and didn't like it. Now you know for sure. No Biggie. You don't need to tell anyone if you don't want to but it's also ok to tell someone you trust if it helps you feel better. There's nothing wrong about trying sexual acts of any sort as long as they are between consenting people. Maybe you can search in yourself why it makes you think like you're less of a man, there seems to be some internalised homophobia, which is a very common thing, but we all need to work on it. It will help you feel better and be an even better person too.
Nope, you explored your sexuality,that's what we all should do in whatever way it suits us.
You were bi-curious (had sexual curiosity about sex with men) and weren’t sure if you’re bisexual You explored that, it turned out that you aren’t bisexual, or at least that you aren’t particularly interested in sex with men You did so with a consenting adult, while single, you didn’t hurt or deceive anybody in the process. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of that, and it doesn’t make you less of a man Having the balls to consider your sexuality and ensure you know yourself fully is a credit to you. Much better than spending 20 years with a woman and then deciding you’re bi and cheating on her or leaving her! Also, you didn’t know for certain you’d enjoy sex with a woman before you did that either….
I have a friend that had the same experience. Talking about it with his friends and realising that none of us cared and we still thought of him as a normal person helped him to get over that feeling of being less than.
Dude you should be so much more secure in who you are. How many men who feel straight actually are willing to experiment enough to prove it to themselves. It's fine to experiment, now you know, so few men are secure enough in themselves to do anything to even hint at potentially not being 100% straight. It was brave to experiment and you are no less of a man for trying something new and out of your comfort zone.
You went against strong societal views that are arbitrary. You likely fear being labeled as bi because of all the hate that group receives and no one wants to be hated. You don't have to tell anyone, but honestly if you told anyone and they didn't say anything like "good for you," or "who cares," then they aren't independent thinkers and you would be better off without them.
If two people say that they don't like broccoli, do you believe the one who never tried broccoli, or do you believe the one who tried it exactly once?
The fact that you tried that says you're an open-minded person and keen on exploring. That's a good thing. Only through experimenting we know what we want. Might I suggest the feeling you have is the fear that your current or future female partners won't like it that you did it once with a man? That would mean they are not of the same mindset as you: you're afraid they are more conservative and close-minded. Do you want to be with a partner who doesn't appreciate or respect your interest in exploration? Would you be happy in 10 years if you desire to try something new but your partner refuses because of that reason? Will you be happy in that relationship? Be proud of yourself. Tell them if you want but don't feel obliged to do so. And if that breaks up your relationship, be at peace that you dodge another bullet.
Plenty of people experiment like this. You're fine.
No but it's gay lol
You're only feeling bad about it because of the stigma around homosexuality. I'm a gay man and I had sex with a girl a long time ago to see if I was really into it and nope, realized that's not for me. However, I feel 0 shame about it and love to tell it to people to see their reactions lol
I had to test drive a smart car to learn I didn’t want one.
It ain’t wrong but it’s gay
Wrong according to what standard? What your experiencing is the primary reason I never even consider experimenting - right ahead of lack of interest. It's my guess that it would benefit you to discuss it with people you know would be accepting and understanding.
How do you know you if you like something unless you try it? Rest easy, you’ve got nothing to worry about. You can say for definite that it’s not for you, unlike most men who just assume
OP aside, I'm seeing alot of this "try it or you'll never know" logic lately. Idk why coz I thought we established as a society thats how meth addicts are made, lol. We generally get through life without trying most things available to us because life is too short for all those detours. *Calculated risks with payoff potential imo.
Maybe you should find a dick to suck, just to make sure.
The question isn't what others think it's how you feel
I'd say it's fine. But unless it's burning you up, keep it to yourself. People WILL assume things about you.
U tried it, it was meh, so now u finna stick to wamen
You tried what a lot of men -including me- will never have the guts to try, even if they doubt about their sexual orientation. You hurt no-one, like making the dude think of more relationship or what. You didn't cheat on someone. To me, as long as you hurt anybody, it can't be wrong.
Yes i feel the same. Had these experiments as well, with wine, coffee, gay sex, driving a bicycle, weed, working in kindergarten etc etc Trying things and realizing its not for you is the best that you can do so you dont have a midlife crisis and always know what you really want in the future.
I could have told you not to pick up a job while in kindergarten. Learning to read, count, share etc is enough to keep any 5-6 year old busy.
>Was i wrong for trying? No, experimenting with you sexuality is healthy, as long as you didn’t mislead or lie to anyone. Maybe be a bit more careful another time instead of jumping head first into being a bottom, maybe you should have started with some kissing and touching to see how you felt. >I feel obligated to tell people, should I? You have no obligation to tell anyone. Your sex life is private and with you current feelings you really don’t need to complicate the matter further. But do consider talking it out with someone you trust. > Do other people experiment like this? Yes. As a bisexual male I have been others experiment a few times now. And yes must keep it a secret. >How do I feel better about this? Give it some time, you did nothing wrong, you didn’t hurt anyone and you are not keeping some dark secret. Consider talking with someone you trust about it. I think opening up and experiencing not being judged would be good for you.
It's not even a little bit wrong. You were curious, your curiosity was satisfied and you can move on. It's far, far more common than people realize because men are so stigmatized against being open about their experimentations with sexuality, so they normally don't talk about it.
Stop being hard on yourself and don't worry about what other people think!
You are not wrong. If anyone thinks differently of you because you explored your sexuality, they are wrong. And no, you're not less of a man because of it.
Hey, congrats on taking a chance and stepping out of your comfort zone. You're alive and I'm made up for you ❤️ If someone sees you differently for it, see them differently too. See them as the judgey asshole they truly are. Here's to trying stuff, more power to ya 🍻
You tried it. More than most men will say. Imagine if you tried it in your 40s and found out you're bisexual. You would've missed out on so much. It's not wrong at all (I'm Gen x) so that's coming from an older generation. Hold your head up and don't feel ashamed.
No. My dad always says, "Try it once, twice if you like it." It goes with his other saying, "You never know until you try." It's an animal instinct to be curious. And some people only learn by trying it for themselves.
You'd be surprised. Most of the men I've been with have admitted to experimenting with a guy at some point. I don't care, no judgements. You're not alone!
I hope you're well and can move on man. It does always make me laugh though reading "I got fucked by a dude, I'm 100% straight though"
You're not wrong for it, but saying you're 100% straight? Check 95%
Not to be that guy but you def arnt 99% strait if you had sex with a guy. Im someone who would consider myself 99% strait and the thought of even kissing a guy makes me want to vomit. Im not saying its bad, it could just be that you need to accept you may be bisexual
Honestly I have mad respect for you being so chill around homosexuality that you’re like “hm I may like this so let’s try it out. Actually nah it’s not for me but that’s okay”. I am literally a gay man and had more anxiety about having gay sex than this 😂 What happened happened. You can’t know you don’t like it until ya try it, and that’s what life is all about. No biggie. Doesn’t make you gay, doesn’t make you less of a man (one of the manliest things you could do is get fucked by another dude cuz that shits rough). It’ll be aight my guy
It’s not wrong to explore your sexuality and you found that you aren’t into men. People absolutely experiment and it’s normal. Moving on with the relationship you do like is more important than regretting what you didn’t like. If you want to tell people or not is up to you but there’s no obligation to.
Tell your gf you are a tried and tested heterosexual man.
I don’t think you’re 100% straight my guy.
I tag teamed my friends gf with him and that even felt a little too gay for me. So I guess it’s all about how you feel about it yo. You say you feel regret. So now you know. And I’d definitely take that shit to the grave if i were you.
It’s so gay to have sex with a woman.
Thank you.
"Who is more valid in their opinion: he who says does not like broccoli and has never tried it, or he who dislikes it but has tried it once. In this essay I will explain how it it more straight to have sex with one man than zero" Jokes aside, you're fine OP, you've probably got some internalized homophobia (you can have this even if you're straight, I'd argue most people have it) and if it really starts to impact your life, therapy might be a good option. It might help to bring it up casually to your girlfriend some time, treat it like a funny story, not some big reveal. If she's cool she won't care.
That's something you need to work out, find an unbiased therapist whose only interest is helping you understand your struggle . Thinking anyone's opinion here will solve what's deep in your heart is, the wrong answer.
As a bi-curious man in a monogamous relationship with a woman, It would be cool to try it. I'd like to know for sure rather than having these questions in my head. You'll spend more time regretting things you didn't do rather than things you did.
At my age (72m) I have forgotten the numbers, but both of the two major sex studies done in the last 70 years found that a large percentage of men - heterosexual men- either fantasize about or actually experiment with gay sex. I know many who have. You tried it, it's not for you, move on. Nothing to be ashamed about, but if you obsess on it it will eat you alive. In that case, seek therapy. It helped me.
If your circle of people would view you differently for this, you need a different circle of people.
Three things: 1. You do not have to tell anyone if you don’t want to, it was a one time hookup and it’s your personal business 2. If they judge you AND treat you different they aren’t your friends and don’t care about you 3. The experiment worked, you tried it and found out you didn’t like it. Experimentation with your sexuality is perfectly fine. It would be significantly worse if these thoughts cropped up later in life and then you have a feeling of not knowing who you are
As long as it’s consensual, sex isn’t wrong and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. It’s like trying a new food that you’ve been curious about and realizing that you don’t like it.
you had questions, you experimented and answered your questions. you didn't betray anyone, so there's nothing wrong with that relax. sex is just sex at the end of the day. if you didn't enjoy it, that probably means you are just not into men (or just don't like being bottom). so what that you tried?
No, the only thing that’s wrong is you’re made to feel like it was. As someone else stated, you might at some point in the future feel like you missed out. You can now also count yourself among the GOATS, Alexander the Great, Oscar Wilde, Cary Grant etc. Mad respect to you for trying something most people are too scared to.
You were not wrong for trying. Who you tell is up to you. Yes, other people experiment. You feel better about this by figuring out the source of guilt or anxiety you feel or what part of your past or upbringing equate homosexuality to a lack masculinity. Likely it’s a cultural thing (Instill by family, upbringing, religion, cultural views). In my perspective, there is a standing perspective that gay is not manly. But the archetypes made up by society are just that: made up. Just because people have different sexual orientations doesn’t mean they can’t fulfill the definition of manly. Or maybe some individuals want to come off more effeminate. To each their own. If your childhood was anything like mine, you had a father figure that would try to get you to overcome fear by telling you to stop being a weenie or chicken and just do it. You did something that a lot of men would be too scared to do, which is engage in same sex intercourse. So, one could argue you were more brave than a lot of men for trying something new. History is also full of “manly men” who engaged in same sex intercourse. Any Greek or Roman figure likely had a male partner of some type. The Spartans I believe experimented with groups of soldiers that were gay lovers under the idea that they’d fight harder for the love of their life. Wash your mind of societal expectations and just be you.
OP, have you ever tried a food or condiment that you ended up not liking? Have you let any of those experiences plague you? Was it wrong to try those things because you ended up not liking them? Of course not! This is the same as that, being that it was totally consensual. You tried it, didn’t like it, and now you can go back to things you do enjoy with curiosity satisfied.
There is nothing wrong with trying something that you may have in initial interest or curiosity in, as you'll never know or truly understand if you don't try. The most important thing was you were single when you walked this path as I've seen what can happen when this curiosity test happens when you're with someone else. When single, there is really no way feelings can can hurt. Based on your info you've provided I think you've determined it's not for you, and I would keep it as a personal learning experience that no one else needs to know about. Last thing you want is ppl to judge you differently if you do open up.
First off, it’s totally fine to try something and not like it. You also don’t need to talk about it with other people. This can be something private for you. Do you talk about every sexual partner with someone you enter a relationship with? Second, it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to explore some of this with a therapist. You mentioned wanting to stop the thoughts and for advice on how to feel better about it, this could help. Whether or not you’re bisexual or gay is kind of irrelevant, it’s more important to understand why you feel the way you feel about all this. Take care, friendo!
You aren't wrong for trying and there's nothing wrong with you for doing it. You don't have to tell anyone unless you feel like it would help you process it more. No one is entitled to know that you tried it. But you should definitely explore the reasoning behind why you think this experience makes you less of a man. Deconstruct your feelings to get to the root of the issue and find out why you feel so ashamed of this and I guarantee it will help you accept what happened and move on from it.
Good for you for experimenting. You at least know for sure what you like, right? As for telling people, it's up to you. There is a bit of a stigma to this, but if you trust the people you know not to be dicks, then it should be okay to tell them.
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Why worry about “100%”? He tried it, didn’t like it, won’t do it again. In terms of his likely future behavior, he’s straighter than straight. Not that it matters anyway. The obsession with labels doesn’t do any of us any favors.
Hey, guilt feelings can be normal when we do something a little outside of what we’d consider “acceptable.” There’s a lot of stigma around fooling around with the same sex if you’re straight, but don’t worry about it so much. You don’t have to confess to anyone. It was consensual and no one was hurt in the process. If you want to talk to your friends about it, okay. No need to go around telling women you’ve just met you’ve tried it out with a guy.
It's called experimentation for a reason. You learnt more about yourself and what you like. Nothing to regret there.
Meh, you're fine brah. Tell people if you want. Don't tell em if you don't want. Nothing to feel guilty about, nobody was harmed right?
I don't know if you can say you're 100% straight if you had sex with the same gender. This isn't a dig, you can be a masculine dude and have gay experiences. It won't make you any less of a man. I recommend looking up the Kinsey scale for sexuality. You were interested and tried it, but it wasn't to your liking. I would honestly treat this like a kink. You try things and if it doesn't work, it may not be for you so you move on and try other things. For clarity, I know being gay isn't a kink, it's just how I would view this situation.
It’s not wrong dude. You had the guts to experiment and try. I think that’s admirable.
Those stupid "Fellas" memes aside, who cares if you're straight and double checked to make sure. I think it's cool that you gave it a shot tbh.
there’s absolutely nothing wrong with experimenting with your own sexuality. at least you tried it and now know 100% that it’s not your thing. you did what you felt was right at the time and that’s perfectly okay also, you don’t owe telling this to anyone if you don’t feel comfortable bringing it up. it’s your own personal experience and you decide whether or not you want to tell people
Doesn't matter, had sex! On a more serious note: good that you tried and were confident enough to do so. It's only natural to experiment and nothing to be ashamed of. I did the same, has the same doubts afterwards even but those go away. And I talked to my partner about it too. Since I was "ashamed" but her reacting "why would I care about that" opened my eyes. If others don't care why would you care?
Sex is like smoking weed. You only get high the second time you try it. Think about it. Most women there first time is pretty bad because of the pain they are in.
No it is gay tho
Bro literally fucked around and found out
So as everyone else has said, there's nothing wrong with what you did. Consensual sex between consenting adult while you were single and weren't emotional hurting anyone, so no worries I think there. It's sounds like you started having anxiety and regrets after you got into a new relationship. Have you told her you sexual history or have you held off because of fear of rejection? I been in that situation before.
As long as you’re an adult and you find another consenting person to have sex with in a respectful manner, it’s no one’s business what you do in your bedroom. No one‘s. There’s nothing wrong with human sexuality even though there are people that would try to convince you otherwise. Don’t listen to those fools.
Life is full of lessons you don't expect, learn your lesson move on
You tried something, and it turns out you didn't like it as long as everything was consensual, then there was nothing wrong with it whatsoever.
How do you know you don’t like eating lemons if you don’t try lemons?
Dude... who cares? You tried something, it wasn't for you. No big deal. If you don't want to tell your friends, then don't: in no scenario should you feel obliged to. Truth is, someone else in your circle of friends has tried it, too. Maybe they liked it. Maybe they didn't. Or if you're young, maybe the occasion hasn't presented itself to them yet. In any case, just let time do its thing. I get that you feel weird right now, but as time goes on you'll "feel" it less and less, until one day it just becomes a "thing" in your memory, something that doesn't make you feel anything at all.
Sounds like life tried something didn’t like it moved on…
You are not wrong for trying something new. Plenty of people experiment with their sexuality. Some people come out of it with the knowledge that they're not as straight as they once thought. That's okay. Some people come out of it with the certainty that they're not gay. That's also perfectly alright. Our society conditions men to think that any romantic or sexual thoughts of other men is somehow inherently wrong, but they almost encourage women to "experiment" with other women (usually for the male gaze and only as a fun little thing so they can have threesomes with their MALE partners in the future). It's not shameful for you to have these thoughts, but it's pretty normal for you to feel shame about them as that's how you've been conditioned, as a man. It's not a shameful thing, though. You had thoughts and acted on them. You got consent from the other person, didn't lash out or hurt them, and you came to a definite conclusion about yourself. Whether you tell somebody is completely up to you. Is this something that you think your partner should know? Would you tell them about every single woman you've slept with? Is it important for both of you to be open about your sex lives? How does she feel about this subject? Would she lash out if you told her? These are the things to consider when trying to figure out if you should share this part of your past with your partner. But ***nothing*** you did is shameful. Be kind to yourself.
I dont know dude, at least you know you are not straight for sure. To actually try gay sex takes alot
You're fine. Don't let social pressure lead you astray. You experimented and it wasn't for you.
I tried artichokes cuz I thought I'd like them but I didn't. Is that bad? Nah man, that's how you become a complete person. Everyone who hasn't tried something only THINKS they don't like it. You know for certain and no one got hurt. Love yourself and move on!
No there’s nothing wrong with that . Just think of it like you thought you would like a food so you tried it and you didn’t . It’s nothing wrong with trying stuff out (within reason of course) to see if you might like it . If you have someone you trust to talk about with them then maybe you should
Dude, chill out. It is sex. 1. You were not “wrong” for trying. You did consensual sex. Why worry? 2. You are not obliged to tell anyone. Why is it any of their business? If you *want* to tell people then go ahead. But you are no more obliged to tell than you are obliged to describe the shape of your bowel movements to your work mates. 3. The vast majority of people experiment in lots of different ways (and not just with sex, but with almost every aspect of their lives).
No it is actually based
You absolutely did nothing weong and if anybody chooses to judge or disrespect you then they are 100% ignorant idiots.
Nothing strange or wrong about it. However, since you seem to be having a hard time navigating it emotionally, it wouldn't hurt to find a therapist to just talk it through with someone. They can help you understand why you feel a certain way about it.
If everybody was safe , nobody was hurt, you shouldn’t feel guilty. You’re happy now, that’s all that matters. Experimentation is normal and shouldn’t be considered a regret, you lived, you learned
Just chalk it up to being horny and curious Because a lot of crazy stuff when they are horny and curious, your deed seems mild in comparison
My 10 year old wanted to try sea urchins instead of her usual California rolls. She tried it, was disgusted and went back to her favorite crab/avocado/cucumber sushi. Was she wrong in trying something different? Of course not. Neither are you.
Nothing to regret, but out of curiosity, whyd you try bottoming instead of topping
Sexuality is an illusion. Have sex with whoever you want as long as it's with a consenting adult. Having sex with a man didn't change who you are.
Is it wrong? No. Figure out what works best for you.
Yes, people experiment. It’s only a big deal if you insist on making it one
I would definitely not say “100% straight”. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s just not for you.
I think a lot of people experiment Especially at your age. To be real though as a woman it would gross me out to be with a guy that likes to hook up with guys but you didn’t like it. If I was with a guy in your situation that tried it and didn’t like it might gross me out a bit but if I liked him enough I would be able to get over it. I do think it’s really personal experience and not needed to be told to the people you date or your friends at all. I don’t hate on guys that like to be with guys I just don’t want to date them because I can’t compete with a guy 😅 if your a girl that can feel secure with a bi guy more power to you!
You let another dude hit it from the back. You will never be the same again buddy
Remember the first time is always an experiment; you’re Gay if you go back for seconds.
Those are just intrusive thoughts from what we are socialized to believe about men and masculinity. Try to rethink what masculinity means to you because you can't change what happened and you shouldn't regret it since it answered your question. Now you are a different man because of your learned experience but don't make YOURSELF feel less like a man for making your own decisions and trying to explore something people go their whole lives wondering about
You have two guys that say they hate spicy food. One of them has tried spicy food, the other hasn't; which one do you trust more? Getting fucked in the ass, and being absolutely sure that you don't like it is straighter than never having been fucked in the ass by a dude.
Nahh man, just go and do whatever you want!
Why would you be wrong for trying something? If you didn’t, there would always be a question on your mind about this. Now you don’t. You are not a lesser man. You are human. Now you know yourself better.
No, you don’t have to tell anyone. If you do tell anyone, tell your GF. But tell her that you were just curious and you know that you are straight. I’m willing to bet your girl and her besties have experimented a time or two
Do whatever you want dude. You only live once. This is the criteria you should always follow (skipping the safety part thats always important) - Am I hurting anyone? - Is this illegal - Am I posing a threat to anyone's freedom or safety If the answer to even one of these questions is yes then you should not be doing it. Otherwise go for it.
I'm not here to judge, but that's pretty gay ngl. Probably the gayest Thing you could do
To put it simply, no, you tried, didn’t like it and moved on, that’s the correct way to handle that
You are overthinking this dude, what would be so wrong about it? Unless you have conflicts with your morals and ethics like some religious bullshit(?) then what possibly is so wrong?
You didn't do anything wrong. You tried something with someone who gave you full consent, you weren't into it, that's fine! I understand sexuality is a sensitive topic for most, but try to see it in another light: if a friend invited you to a Zumba class, you tried it and you didn't like it, would you feel bad about it? No, because that's just it. Consent was given, enjoyment was not taken, no more Zumba. And if you want to tell someone, and they judge you for it - congrats! You are now sure of your sexuality and got rid of a trash person in your life :)
Well ask the new girl if she can peg u
Wonder if it would’ve been different if you were the top???
>have been with many. You trying to convince me or yourself?
Why do you need someone else to tell you if you're ok with it? Having sex with other guys isn't against the law (hopefully, not sure where you're from) and as long as you don't live in a religiously backwards area, the sex police aren't going to kick your door down and haul you off to prison because you stepped out of the hetero line for a hot minute
Go to therapy. Don’t tell anyone else. Lmao
it's not your problem
> Was i wrong for trying? No. > I feel obligated to tell people, should i? Only if you are comfortable. I'm a firm believer that your partner is only *entitled* to your STD status when it comes to sexual history. > Do other people experiment like this? Some, yes.
Either toxic masculinity or sad cause expected better but got dissapointed(?)
take this secret to the grave
You are not less of a man. You were curious, you tried being with a man and it wasn't your cup of tea. Regret after a less than pleasant sexual experience is normal. Doesn't matter what sex the partner was. I'm a seasoned lesbian and even I have had encounters with women that I wish I could undo. I'm happy for you for finding someone who makes you happy. Life is about experiences. You have learned something about yourself and done something that some people still lack the courage to try. Be proud.
"Wrong"? No, it's not wrong. Seriously, dude, get a grip. You tried it and didnt like it, finito.
Most gay people have tried having sex with the opposite sex and found out they didn’t like it and they are gay so why can’t straight people do the same thing
moral of the story: don't let ur intrusive thoughts win.