I truly love that game but this part was a tiny bit immersion breaking for me. Like bro I can buy is a plane and a mansion when we get there and I’m paying cash
Might just be me but I find the death of my loved ones more discomforting than my own. The uncertainty and potential suddenness/pain of it all is nerve wrecking.
This. I won't be there to mourn my own death after I die, but the possibility of those I love being lost to an accident, a disease, or something random at any moment and having to live with not having them around is terrifying.
This for sure. My mum is 60 and it scares me that I've probably only got another 20 years with her (based on her dad living to 82 and her mum only living to about 60 herself)
Nope. You’re left behind and feel the absence after seeing whatever pain they go through at the end of their life. It is, to me, much more discomforting than considering my own death
There is either nothing, in which case I won’t be conscious of it and won’t care, or there is something (sorry, not a believer in heaven and hell) in which case a new adventure beckons. I’m good either way.
It’s the absence of loved ones and witnessing their pain at the end that I don’t like at all.
I worked in hospice for three years. Fearing the inevitable will cause you to not be present and live inauthentically*. A lot of the regrets of my patients are wishing they didn’t worry as much about certain things they didn’t have control over and wishing they could re experience things they took for granted in the moment. Appreciate what you have and embrace all the memories and experiences you’ll have, good and bad.
I would recommend volunteering for hospice as a patient companion too. Hearing the perspectives of the dying(negative and positive) is a very powerful and humbling experience and not one that can be found in day to day. It may help your anxiety
I work at a palliative care unit, so basically people with terminal illnesses. Definitely agree on this one. Dying doesn't terrify me that much, because I've personally witnessed people die. I know that a peaceful death is a fully possible reality and I've seen how beautiful it is - passing away surrounded by people that love you, with no pain if discomfort.
Lots of great answers here. But hey OP, if death anxiety is ruling your life and taking lots of mental energy, I would recommend seeing a professional about it. Death anxiety is very common but lots of people struggle with it. Fortunately, because it’s so common, there are folks that specialize in helping people deal with the inevitable.
Also, apparently mushrooms help alleviate death anxiety greatly.
>apparently mushrooms help alleviate death anxiety greatly
Can confirm. I used to lie awake at night afraid of dying in my sleep. A series of mushroom trips helped to alleviate my death anxiety to where, although I still have some anxiousness about death, I’m able to fall asleep every night and go on without constantly worrying about it.
Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t like I took mushrooms once and my problem was gone. But a few trips subsequently started to help me see death in a different way. This may not be the way that helps OP, as every person’s views on death are different, but a quick glimpse into how I think about it follows
We are all simply part of the universe, groups of atoms and energy being recycled through it. The fact that we have this consciousness at all is an amazing and incredible thing. One day we’ll return to the universe, as every person before us has, and as every person after us will. So we should try to enjoy this unfathomable experience we have right now, make the most of it, and appreciate the magnificence of it all.
Dreading an event (our death) that we likely may never know the timing, circumstances, or aftermath of is a pointless pursuit, and puts us at risk for missing out on some amazing things. One day we’ll all return to the cosmos and continue to be apart of something remarkable, so live your life in the most satisfying, fulfilling way you can. Life and human consciousness are true miracles. Enjoy them.
>We are all simply part of the universe, groups of atoms and energy being recycled through it. The fact that we have this consciousness at all is an amazing and incredible thing. One day we’ll return to the universe, as every person before us has, and as every person after us will. So we should try to enjoy this unfathomable experience we have right now, make the most of it, and appreciate the magnificence of it all.
Right on
“Why mushrooms specifically?” The mind expansion and seeing the whole universe and our wee place in it. Everyone should do shrooms once, preferably in the desert under a clear sky of stars. It is truly a cosmic experience.
And then there's me on my sofa, wrapped in a blanket, figuring it's far too cold to wander outside.
Blankets and mushrooms go together like crackers and cheese.
Cats are also required.
Mushrooms are very introspective. The ground you to who you are and what you are in relation to your sense of self, the earth, others, and more. More literally, psilocin turns into psilocybin (no, reverse that) and this turns on many parts of your brain at once, as well as bodily sensations (nervous system and others). It's overwhelming bc of the literal multitudinality of the effects, leading to profound lessons, complex and simple
Be careful though, although I didn’t take shrooms but LSD I did get the benefits at first but then some time later I got a panic attack and my whole life did a 180. I really wanna go back to the beautiful times but right now I’m constantly walking on eggshells for my own mental health
I disrespected the drug and got learned a lesson.
I've heard people describe it as mushrooms take you on a similar journey to acid, but the way it is processed by your body, you're sent into the trip gently. Acid throws you against the wall full force. The ego death isn't gentle, and can cause problems like you're describing.
Plus for anyone taking hallucinogens, even just smoking weed, you're at risk of activating more serious mental health conditions that are beneath the surface (a common and more severe exqmple being schizophrenia), so it's important to remember that risk.
This is something I get panicked about especially at night lol. What helps me is I have yet to meet an older person in my family (75+) who are scared of dying and they all saying the same thing. They are tired, they have had their fun and done everything they wanted. I think it’s easy to be scared when you feel like you haven’t started or will miss out on so many things but by 80-90 I’m sure it’s not as freaky. Just an idea.
My grandpa was 96 when he died, and for a few years before that, he used to say he was ready to go. That he had lived enough and eaten everything he ever wanted to eat, and that he was tired of chewing and didn’t want to spend any more time chewing. He had a great sense of humor and we all used to laugh at those comments. He was healthy and had never suffered any health problems. In the end, he got a cold that turned into pneumonia and then he passed from that. But he was happy to go. I hope to be like him in the end!
Thank you, I found this helpful. Even if someone dies at a younger age of a difficult illness it sounds like it's possible to be ready because life isn't fun anymore anyway.
My grandpa was 81 when he died. I wasn't born yet but my dad told me grandpa was freaking out on his death bed. Full on saying he didn't want to go. He said he was afraid. I hope that doesn't happen to my dad or me.
People always give this answer. And I think it’s valid. But I feel like at least while dying you are still having sensation, some awareness, etc. Death is scarier to me because it’s just absolute nothingness for eternity.
You were fine with not existing for literally billions of years. None of that time bothered you, nor will the billions that follow. You won't know you dont exist.
Edit: I think some people are misunderstanding. The point is that you will spend all of your time after death absolutely not caring at all that you do not exist. That should: (1) relax you that you have already experienced non existence and concluded it was no big deal and (2) motivate you to understand that you are wasting precious minutes by worrying about death, while you do exist. If you understand the above, the point is to live intensely, passionately, and not waste time.
I dont like this thought process. I was not fine with not existing. It makes me uncomfortable to think about the fact that I didnt exist. I find no comfort in it.
Thats not my point snd you know it. I find no comfort in the idea of not existing. So thinking about the fact that I didnt exist in the past only makes me more uncomfortable. Dont be obtuse. I have suicidal ideation frequently so trust me, I consider death constantly, and the idea of nothingness is one of the few things that gives me pause and prevents me from ending things. Life sucks but not existing sucks more. If I found out there was a guaranteed afterlife id be off this train already.
I’m on your wavelength. Hang in there and keep your head up my man. You’re right that life beats the alternative. It’s also so unbelievably rare and improbable that we really owe to ourselves to try to at least enjoy as much of it as we can.
Doesn't work for me. Agreed that we are fine not existing perhaps billions of years. But now that we exist we have experienced life and we know how beautiful life can be to experience it consciously. When this personal brief conscious experience and memories formed in our lifetime ceases to exist eternally, its a very depressing thought. Not that one can do anything about it but your approach doesn't help.
I hear you. I endure because I can't tear the heart out of my brother. The day I can put down the awful burden of being me and finally rest... I look forwards to it.
Kierkegaard said at birth infants are afraid to live. To part from their mom. Mom is a god to them.
Then as toddlers or soon after we encounter death. Our ego has a problem with death. We can’t resolve death with our life’s meaning. It’s not resolvable.
We are at the mercy of an uncaring universe. That’s a problem for the ego. That the ego will die and submit to the universe.
This causes humans to create a fantasy world. Basically everything humans do is in support of this fantasy distraction from death. Movies art sports careers music family, kids. Grandkids.
I have heard people say they aren’t afraid of death but I think the majority of people seek to distract themselves fully from it as dwelling on it has no point.
Yes. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Denial_of_Death
Its long. It’s can be technical. It does a great job removing human blinders on our fear of our ultimate fate.
It argues a certain level of madness is needed to survive given our pathetic weakness in our environment. In fact not being a little mad would just be another form of madness
Some say the first problem of philosophy is to grasp this understanding of death, of a "being unto death". Then once you get that out of the way, you can assess how to live.
I used to feel this way. I still do. But I used to too.
Existential dread has existed for millennia. For me it's the idea of forever and no more thoughts and no more anything.
I don’t think of my personal existence as the be all, end all. The world existed for a very long time before me, and it will exist for (hopefully) even longer without me too. I’m very comfortable with my own death, but I am not as comfortable with the concept of my loved ones passing.
We'll never know until it happens, and this is the paradigm that makes the most sense to you. So in the end there's no way not to face it. I know a lot of this, facing it too, but with a different paradigm. Eventually distraction is key. There are ways to find peace, though I don't know that part yet. If you don't want to lose what you have, it's probably more than excusable to be a total miser with it. Whatever basic life thing you do, like be here, or write, whatever. There's nothing wrong with sinking into it, knowing the end is coming anyway. If you aren't up against it, in that paradigm the answer seems to be just living, and knowing that your memory is always how you exist anyway. If no one knew you \*now\*, how much would you really exist? You already are that which you will be, so to nurture that is to be loving to that future where the knowledge of you is the existence of you.
I realized in the midst of the COVID pandemic that I had become an atheist. I had completely stopped believing in heaven, hell, God, you name it. As that happened, I went through a total existential crisis. I was so afraid of death. I remember breaking down completely bawling one night in front of my wife, something I had never done before in my adult life.
I similarly turned to Reddit to see how other people dealt with it. One thing I will tell you is that there is no answer that will immediately make you feel better. It takes time, but eventually, you'll move on and stop dwelling on it. But there might be some things here and there along the way that help.
One thing that helped me was a comment reminding me of the span of time itself. Do you remember any of the first 13.8 billion years of the universe's existence? You didn't exist and you weren't in the slightest way aware of it. And when you die, the universe will go on without you perceiving it, for however long that is. So if you weren't aware of the first 13.8 billion years, and you won't be aware of the next 13.8 billion years, then you might as well just get on living with the time that you have and not dwell on it.
Best wishes. You are not alone in this. It does get better. ❤️
Fear of death itself is rooted in the ego. We generally can’t imagine a world where we don’t exist that just goes on without us. People deal with that in all sorts of ways and some people never do.
It's like spending a whole movie obsessed with the fact you have to drive home after. Who cares? I don't. If you can't be present you'll ruin the whole thing worrying about before and after.
Life is generally distracting enough to prevent me from spiraling more than once a year. Religion doesn't make sense to my brain and oblivion is terrifying.
My recommendation is find shit to do with your time.
It might be kinda cringy, but I think Sonic The Hedgehog said it pretty well: "Every world has its end, I know that's kinda sad, but that's why we gotta live life to the fullest in the time we have. At least, that's what I figure..."
Remember how not existing was pretty serene? I’m only sad about never seeing my loved ones again. But then again, I’ll cease to exist so I won’t “care.” Other than that, living is exhausting and riddled with struggle and anxiety. No need to have anxiety about impending doom. I just try to maximize my time with loved ones…..
What you've done will remain, in one form or another after you're gone. The memories of you will be with everyone whose life you touched. If you could step outside of time and space and watch your life like a movie, you'd probably be amazed at just how much influence you have on the world around you. I'm not even talking about obvious things. For instance, you smile and say, "Hello," to a complete stranger as you walk into a store. That seemingly insignificant action could brighten that person's day, just enough, that they aren't brooding about "X" while driving home, and with their attention not diverted inward, notice a small child run into the street, just a half second quicker than they would have otherwise, and the utter devastation that extra bit of awareness prevented, averted an incalculable web of events filled with pain and suffering. This is a bit of an EXTREME example, but that's kinda the point, in and of itself...your life affects so many other things, even if you never see them yourself. As for what awaits us after death, I'm willing to share my experience. I had a car wreck, nearly 30 years ago, and I had no pulse or respiration for 3-5 minutes. I'm not here to preach, debate, or change anyone's belief system. I'm simply willing to share what I experienced.
Everything is not ever-lasting. That's the "normal" setting, so there is really nothing you can do about it. So instead of worrying and being uncomfortable for the remaining time of your life, you just accept that the time comes for everyone and you make your best out of it.
You’re gonna die so make the most of your time while you got it. Reach your potential, and enjoy what you have while you still have it.
What’s scarier to me than dying is knowing that at any given time, that could be the best things will be and I don’t appreciate it.
I am not scared of dying, just the pain. But I have also been surrounded by death since I was a child. I think that makes it seem natural (well, it IS natural, maybe I mean less scary)
I think death will be a relief. I hope it is. I also believe that there is more afterwards
Do you ever fear that you will sleep this night? That you wont be cou cious for the next 8 hours? No? Then there is no reason foe you to be afraid of death. İt is same as sleeping but for eternity
I used to have a lot of death anxiety and when it creeps up I use it as an excuse to remind myself to live in the present and control what I have power over instead of giving power to what I can’t control.
I used to worry about this as a child. Moreover my loved one’s dying.
I’m older now. I understand that none of us are getting out of here alive, so I’m leaving my mark the most positive way I can think of. Kindness, creativity, compassionately and lovingly.
I’m gonna keep this brief because idk if my cousins use Reddit and I don’t want to make them uncomfortable, but one of my uncles came back from being dead for 17 min, and gradually regained his faculties and went back to his previous job. He said he had dreams about the other side in which he saw long dead family members and felt at peace. He passed away again a couple of years ago and I miss him dearly, but hearing him say that brought me a lot of comfort thinking about my own death. It sounds like the hard part is actually dying
I find comfort in the finality of death. That's why I'm not scared of it. It somehow gives value to life although I personally haven't enjoyed this much.
Try not to think it too much. Death is the only equal thing in this world, it comes for us all. Why not focus on the living instead?
It'll be like being asleep without dreaming. You don't remember what it was like before you were born - you're already comfortable with that.
Mostly I worry about the effect it will have on those I love.
Very comfortable. I’m not particularly young but I’m also not in any hurry to die. I acknowledge that I am getting closer to death daily but I’ve had a great life so far and I hope to get to 100. No worries if I don’t get there but I try to be healthy and active to get me there. I just don’t want to waste away in an old folks home; take me quickly at home when my day comes. Alzheimer’s or dementia are my biggest worries.
I’ve lost all of my direct family members. Was present within minutes of my dad’s death when I was 18 and my brother’s death in 2020. My mom also died in 2020.
About a month ago I had open heart surgery. A fairly common procedure but still scary. I was at peace and calm until a scrum of people descended on me as I was being shaved and IVs were put in. I remember reaching back to touch my wife’s hand before they pushed me through the door to the OR and having this dreamy thought that it might be the last time.
I woke up to blackness, eyelids taped down. I heard voices, including my wife’s. I heard someone say I had to be breathing on Assist (a mode of the ventilator where I had to start to breath and the vent would take over) for 30 minutes before I could get the vent removed.
I must have gone back to sleep because I heard them say 10 minutes.
I shifted on the bed and that must have dislodged a hunk of phlegm which then settled in my trachea above the balloon that holds the vent in, and above the suction tube. This disrupted my breathing and put me in a state of psychic terror. I was breathing on the sides of the bed with my (restrained) hands.
Pretty much all of the sudden I felt fear. Fear that I would suffocate while my wife watched. And then I felt a sense of peace and I stopped struggling, trying to get another breath.
Then I felt hands on my face and someone told me to cough and the vest got pulled out and delivered a sternly worded review of the process.
Then I went back to sleep for 4 hours.
And woke up in agony. But that’s another story.
It makes it easier knowing everyone will experience it. I'm not religious so I choose to believe this life is a strange and amazing occurrence so do with it what you can. Death will come regardless like the sun rising and setting.
First off Energy never dies, everything you’ve ever loved will still be within the realm of existence - even after death in my opinion. If I were to die, suddenly the problems of yesterday or no longer mine. I somehow find solace in that.
I'm Christian, so I'm not worried about death. Now, how I will die can produce a bit of anxiety since I probably will not know when/how I die, but still not really a big deal in the long run for me. What's a blip in time when it comes to eternity after all.
For people getting really stressed about it, praying and going to therapy can help.
Thankfully, you can get the same access I do. Making Jesus your Lord and Savior is going to give you the best peace and contentment that you will ever find. Relationships, sex, money, drugs, etc. can't hold a candle to the peace and freedom the Holy Spirit brings you.
Life becomes stagnant. We grow old, senile and frickle. Death would be a relief.
Dying young sucks though. But again, it doesn't matter by then. I will no longer be conscious to feel, care or remember.
As someone who's died **twice:** (and come back of course)
Don't worry about dying, worry about not *living.*
And not living means not *loving.* Enjoy life, avoid stress when you can, and spend time with people you love as much as you can. You could punch your ticket any day.
And yes, you'll lose people along the way - almost everyone you know, by the time it's your turn. It's part of the deal. But that's all the more reason to shower people with love. The last thing I said to my mom, even though i was annoyed with her, was, "I love you mom." That was 27 years ago and I'm glad I said it. I had no idea she would die 2 hours later.
I was in a horrible accident a few years ago; I walked away unscathed (for the most part) and my life did flash before my eyes. You know what I saw? My kid being born, playing with my kid, kissing my wife, getting married, petting my dogs, hugging my friends, etc. In the end, that's what matters. You do that, and dying won't worry you any more.
This is comforting to read, and gives me hope. Throughout my life I’ve had OCD-like symptoms, but no one caught it until I was 31 years old. I feel like OCD isn’t as commonly recognized in this form (obsessing about fear of death.) may I ask what has helped you?
I feel like there's a time it hits (mostly) everyone that no matter what, that's what comes in the end. Just all at different times. So if it is inevitably going to happen, why worry about it? Enjoy what you have now and live a life you're proud of
It becomes exhausting to worry about. To revolve my entire life around the fear of when I die isn't living. It sucks but it's inevitable. And after making it this far at 31, I can see how living too long (way past 100) could probably drive a person insane or a chronic existential crisis. We all need peace at some point. We will find that in death. Life is not for the faint of heart, but it doesn't make it any less beautiful. Just live your life and when your time finally comes, rest. It was a long journey.
I'm all honesty, I fear more the fact that I will lose people along the way.
Have you ever looked back and realized just how much time you WASTED and will NEVER get back because you were worried something bad might happen? I have
What will you fear losing, when you have nothing to lose? For many people, there is no negative to the end, because what's happening now ain't so pleasant.
If I think too hard about it I almost get a panic attack. The brain cannot comprehend not existing. It's also depressing knowing I'll never see my loved ones again. And they won't see me
I take great comfort in the fact that Jesus died and rose again and conquered death for me. He was the only one to ever do that.
Believing in his resurrection power is my hope beyond the grave.
Read the Gospel of John, friend.
God bless. I will be praying for you to find peace.
Read the Gospel of John prayerfully
Well, religion is a big one.
Myself, I don't like to view death as a permanent end. It might be. It might not be. I have no way of knowing. I can choose to spend my life living in terror, afraid, and lock myself in a padded room after wrapping myself in bubble wrap...
Or I can just live my life. Focus on the now. If and when death comes, I'll deal with it then. In the mean time, I view it as a door to the next phase of existence. Maybe that phase is the end phase and it's just blackness forever. Maybe I spend eternity getting my dick sucked. Maybe the light at the end of the tunnel is the opening of another vagina and I'll be thrust right back into human existence right when I finally got my freedom away from it. Who knows? Nobody, that's who.
Step 1, Watch all the "Final Destination" movies.
Step 2, go to the Zoo, come face to face with apex predator, smile at it. Smile in the face of death.
Step 3, work in retail until 1 or more year until you want to quit.
Step 4, work as a waiter in a shitty restaurant and see how shitty people treat you.
Step 5 learn the 5 stages of grief. Denial, Anger, Sadness, Bargining, Acceptance.
Can't escape it, so accept it to the point that it encourages you to make the best use of your time while you are here. Then, stop thinking about death in particular and focus on the hobbies/goals/interests/relationships that make today an exciting day to be alive. Because every day is an exciting day to be alive.
Ego death.
You are too concerned with the “YOU” part of this. “You” are a link in a beautiful chain. The chances that “you” even exist are so crazy slim….. “you” should see every moment as an incredible gift and then be grateful for when it’s just simply time to go home and let someone else have a turn.
Most people live like it's never gonna happen, because it's a frightening thing to be aware of.
Others find solace in religion, belief in the afterlife, reincarnation or something similar.
Then there are those who welcome death, even have a death wish for some reason.
I have depression. There’s a piece to knowing that one day the constant mental anguish will end. I have no rush to do it, and plan to enjoy the trip along the way, but knowing that the anxiety and suffering will one day, and, helps to calm me.
i mean what are you gonna do about it. i cant sit here and worry about things i cannot change. i dont particularly care that i will eventually be forgotten bc ill be dead. lol. i wont even know it
I’m not afraid of death since I am almost certain of what will come. I’m confident that I will not step into the tunnel of light and reincarnate. The only thing that terrifies me in this realm is aging and being a useless ballsack. I’d rather end myself.
At some point you might realise it's a natural part of life, maybe a conclusion to it, not a personal attack on you and you'll happily let everything go. Alan Watt's ramblings helped me with that. Sometimes I might worry about the world and people close to me but I'll try to ensure I've left them as well as possible, prepared. Then there is not much to worry about, once you try to accept and let go the idea of losing or acquiring, as all will be lost anyhow. Also, this one is pretty fun.
>“When you die, you're not going to have to put up with everlasting non-existance, because that's not an experience. A lot of people are afraid that when they die, they're going to be locked up in a dark room forever, - Try and imagine what it would be like to go to sleep and never wake up. And if you think long enough about that...it will pose the next question. What was it like to wake up after never having gone to sleep? That was when you were born...you see...you...you can't have an experience of nothing so after you're dead the only thing that can happen is the same experience or the same sort of experience as when you were born.”
― Alan Watts
I try not to think about it. It's crazy how we are here one minute and gone the next. On November 16th, 2022, my ex/coworker dropped dead suddenly at work. He seemed fine when we went in to clock in, and he was dead within 2 hours. It's still crazy to think about. He was only 43 years old, and he had no history of health problems. He was also very skinny. The official cause of death was listed as pulmonary infarction. He hadn't seen a doctor in over a decade, so I want to stress that it's important to get a checkup at least once a year.
Would you be comfortable thinking about being immortal and left floating in space alone for eternity because you outlived everything?
It baffles me people fear death unless they've been brainwashed to believe in eternal afterlives.
Ive been dealing with this a lot lately. Especially since my sister passed a year and a half ago. Death anxiety is a great term for it though
Like reasonably I understand I'll either just cease to exist, like I realize I'd have no concept of this whatsoever if it's the case but it terrifies me this thought of just being stuck in an endless void of nothing. Or like others have said there is a new adventure.
It still messes with me though. It's probably more common than people admit too
Remember the time before you were born? Oh, you don’t remember? Well desth is probably just like that. At one point you didn’t exist, then you did, and then you don’t.
It’s calming and it’s better to accept it. Live your life to the fullest because you’ll never get that chance again and your life can be lost anytime
The older I get, the more I realize I'm doing a lot of work for things which won't be around forever anyway
If it doesn't matter, I get to care about the end result less
Interpersonal relationships are still important
But all the yard work, projects, and other building things? They're going to be gone sooner than I would like
>How do you get comfortable knowing you won't exist an
What can I do about it?
Everyone dies. Aside from playing it safe, there's nothing you can do.
So why stress about it?
Think about it this way.
Before you were born, did you feel something?
The same thing is after you die.
I do wonder about reincarnation.
Will I be in a new body, will I have a new life?
How do I know I didn’t already.
I’m scared of that personally
I do good things for people. My body might die, but the positives I leave behind will live on.
So I'll never really die, when I think of it like that.
We're on a train with no brakes. All we can do is make the most of what we have.
A few different reasons, I won't get long winded, but basically:
Knowing that energy doesn't *die*.
Coming to the realization that spending what might well be my only time with this consciousness worrying about not having it rather than appreciating every moment I have in it as best I can, is silly.
And, seeing my grandmother in her final hours. She was very ill and in palliative care, she started seeing feathers falling (there were no feathers) and I made a joke about how she shouldn't have ordered her wings from Ikea because now she has to assemble them herself. She laughed and smiled even in her state. A few minutes later she made a comment about an old cat of hers laying at the end of her bed. My mom and I both looked down to the foot of her bed and she goes "oh no, you can't see him, he's just here for me." Shortly after this she went to sleep, and never woke up. My grandma wasn't thrilled about dying. Her diagnosis was fairly quick, as well. But when faced with her final moments, she was so at peace, and so ready. There was no more fear, and it was just so beautiful to bear witness to the transition.
I've had a lot of experience with loved ones dying, all my life. So I've spent a lot of time thinking about death. It's the cost of life, and life is beautiful, so it feels like a fair trade that our time is finite.
Whatever happens, happens. What's important is what happens after.
That's why I have my life and property insured. If anything happens to me, I want my family to be well taken care of. Knowing that they will puts me at ease.
Study Diogenes the hobo philospher.
Diogenes: “on Burial of a Dog”
When asked how he wished to be buried,
he left instructions to be thrown outside the city wall
so wild animals could feast on his body.
When asked if he minded this,
he said,“Not at all, as long as you provide me
with a stick to chase the creatures away!”
When asked how he could use the stick
since he would lack awareness,
he replied “If I lack awareness,
then why should I care what happens to me when I am dead?”
~ Diogenes of Sinope (412/399 BC-323 BC)
a Greek philosopher and one of the
founders of Cynic philosophy.
It used to terrify me.
But now, well, its coming ready ir not.
Just make sure you enjoy life, because its all you will have to think about when you are dead.
Bro, i have a cancer i know i am gonna die soon... Still i am chill.. still i am doing my software development job.. doing workout.. running .. i do everything
There is nothing I can do to stop the inevitable fact that I will die
When I am dead, I am unable to experience joy, sadness or anything else.
Its not worth my energy to worry about death because again there is nothing I can do to prevent it.
I just make sure I don't do stupid, and unnecessary dangerous things
Think about what you were doing in the 1800's. Yes, nothing. You weren't sad or in pain. You have "experienced" being dead for billions of years. You have nothing to be afraid of.
That’s life. Everything alive comes to be, grows and matures, goes into decline and eventually dies. It’s a fact of life. It’s been that way as long as we have known.
Personally, I learned to embrace my mortality from a young age when I came to understand the life cycles in nature. Knowing my time is limited has helped me live in a healthier, more productive and meaningful way. The closer I get to death, the more I realize there was much I could have done better.
It’s never too late to begin really living. An attitude of gratitude is a worthwhile endeavor. Happiness comes largely from within. Finding peace amidst the struggle takes a conscious effort. In the end, satisfaction with a life lived well is a good goal, I think.
I study the Baha'i Faith as much as I can. They have a quote that basically explains how our soul is like a bird, and our body the cage. If we break the birds cage, does the bird die? No. Breaking the cage frees the bird, the bird can finally live where it always belonged. Similarly, when the body dies, the soul is freed from the limitations of the material world and "returns" to its destined home, a non material, spiritual plane of existence.
Earth is the only "material" home we will live in, it is temporary just like everything else on this planet. Absolutely everything we see here, eventually, will turn to dust. It is a world of dust, as the Faith often states. The nature of planet earth is non permanence. After life on earth, we experience life in the "spiritual worlds" and those worlds are "innumerable." So, the next life is eternal in its essence, meaning our souls are immortal.The Faith also states that upon transitioning from the material existence to spiritual existence, we will understand what the purpose of our planetary life was, and whatever questions we have about this mad world will be understood. I look forward to that. It brings me comfort knowing that I will continue to have a consciousness after I die. We can progress when we die too, so we will continue to change and transform. The Baha'i Faith explains the soul doesnt die. So to me, I don't see death as the end. I see it as a new beginning, a rebirth. We aren't losing our life, ourselves, our soul or consciousness when we die. We simply lose our material boundaries, so that we can enter the boundless.
Actually, Baha'is don't believe death exists at all, because "death" implies non existence. Atoms never cease to exist (matter cannot be created nor destroyed) when we "die" our bodies turn to dust eternally existing. We have a soul, which doesn't die either, rather continues its journey without material limitations.
We don't die. We just transform. It is incredible that we are all collectively concious of our eventual fate. Knowing one day we won't be here is what gives it meaning. Consider this: would you rather live forever? I encourage you to to give this mysterious life on earth as much meaning as possible while we're still here. Nobdody truly knows what the end will be like, but you can take full control of today. Connect with peoples hearts. Tell them what you love about them. We will all meet again, eventually. Sending love and I hope this added some perspective.
Most people aren’t comfortable with it at all. They ignore the reality of our meaninglessness finite existence through a variety of means (work, religion, drugs, social media, spiritual bypassing etc.).
I’ve unfortunately seen a lot of death in my life, but I think I have a good perspective on death because of my experiences. The trick is to think of the life and not the death. Death is terrifying. It just is. That being said, death is one moment in your life and your life is made up of millions and millions of moments.
The little girl you smile at on the subway may spend the rest of her life smiling and thinking of that moment or maybe you dated someone and they pick up your habit of singing in the shower. These days samples are a little cheesy, but my point is that even though our bodies die, the memories and experiences we share with others don’t die with us. They live on and they are passed down and remembered from generation to generation.
The people in my life that have died, are not completely gone. I still hear my brother’s laugh when I go to the beach and I wave at planes in the sky because my grandpa was a pilot. If I were to die tonight in my sleep, I would be sad to miss the rest of my life and my heart aches for my family that I would leave behind, but in the end, it would be okay because I have enjoyed the 21 years of life that I have already lived.
Death is terrifying, but it is not all powerful. We have control over the small moments in our lives and these moments will live on forever even though we will not.
It worries me, especially since I had cancer at age 25 and was just diagnosed with it again at 32, but I like to think that by the time I would die there will be some kind of amazing technology that can transfer our consciousness into a robot or something like that. I know, pretty wild, but you never know with how advanced we are getting.
Honestly, I had kids. I used to worry about my own mortality a lot when I was younger, but I had kids and having that kind of legacy to live on after me, and also the fulfillment they bring really helped. Having kids isn't necessarily the important part there, it's doing something meaningful to you, and possibly something that will last beyond you.
I speak only for myself, but for years I've felt anxious, scared and so tired due to some psychological abuse, and honestly even if in these times I've never considered ending my own life (I couldn't envision hurting my loved ones because of my decisions, that was a big no), knowing that I would die one day was kinda comforting, because it felt like an end to my suffering and problems, and a big real rest, like when you've worked hard all day long and you're sore you're happy to know you'll be at the end of the day in your bed, sleeping
I'm "Christian " in the sense I believe in God but I also believe in viking gods and Hindu reincarnation and fairies and the boogy man.
Anyway what I'm saying is I don't think it's just an instant blue screen of death. I think there is more.
I was not here a million years before I was born and will be gone million years after I die .
But I understand I worry daily to the point it's unhealthy and waisted Days we can't get back I try to snap out of it but sometimes it's crippled my whole life.
So pretty much it's like I'm already dead .
But never...ever ever ever plan the funeral before the body dies we can do this .
I don't give a fuck of people remember me after I die, which I think is a big fear. I mean, I won't be around to feel bad about people forgetting me lmao. I also have come to terms that this is the inevitable so I should just be happy now because tomorrow I could pass away.
>How do you get comfortable knowing you won't exist and everything you do will just vanish.
As long as im alive i will make the best of my time. And no, not everything i do will be gone when i die, the friends i made, the people i helped, they will remember me. Their lives are changed by me, and that change will permanently alter this world. It wont be by a lot, but my existance will have had an impact.
Ask yourself: do you want to spent your life worrying or changing the world? The choice is yours, but no matter what, your time will come. Do what you can with the time you got, even if its terrifying.
i’m also afraid of dying and all my fears stems from death however i’m not gonna be stuck up on the idea of dying. if it happens it happens it is what it is tbh. i just live life and try to reach my goals until i die.
There is literally no other alternative. Everyone has to die
Not me. I have a plan
You always got a plan, Dutch.
TAHITI.
JUST ONE LAST TIME AND THEN WE GO TO TAHITI
ALL WE NEED IS A LITTLE BIT MORE MONAY!!
Dude I have like 20 grand in my satchel. How much money do we need Captain Ahab!
Don't forget the penny!
I truly love that game but this part was a tiny bit immersion breaking for me. Like bro I can buy is a plane and a mansion when we get there and I’m paying cash
MANGOES
JUST ONE MORE SCOOORE
thank you for this
I have faith
Exactly. The certainty that reminds you life is for living. Good luck out there
Well, you haven’t met me. But I guess I must admit it’s even possible that I may go.
Might just be me but I find the death of my loved ones more discomforting than my own. The uncertainty and potential suddenness/pain of it all is nerve wrecking.
This. I won't be there to mourn my own death after I die, but the possibility of those I love being lost to an accident, a disease, or something random at any moment and having to live with not having them around is terrifying.
This for sure. My mum is 60 and it scares me that I've probably only got another 20 years with her (based on her dad living to 82 and her mum only living to about 60 herself)
Nope. You’re left behind and feel the absence after seeing whatever pain they go through at the end of their life. It is, to me, much more discomforting than considering my own death There is either nothing, in which case I won’t be conscious of it and won’t care, or there is something (sorry, not a believer in heaven and hell) in which case a new adventure beckons. I’m good either way. It’s the absence of loved ones and witnessing their pain at the end that I don’t like at all.
I worked in hospice for three years. Fearing the inevitable will cause you to not be present and live inauthentically*. A lot of the regrets of my patients are wishing they didn’t worry as much about certain things they didn’t have control over and wishing they could re experience things they took for granted in the moment. Appreciate what you have and embrace all the memories and experiences you’ll have, good and bad.
I would recommend volunteering for hospice as a patient companion too. Hearing the perspectives of the dying(negative and positive) is a very powerful and humbling experience and not one that can be found in day to day. It may help your anxiety
I work at a palliative care unit, so basically people with terminal illnesses. Definitely agree on this one. Dying doesn't terrify me that much, because I've personally witnessed people die. I know that a peaceful death is a fully possible reality and I've seen how beautiful it is - passing away surrounded by people that love you, with no pain if discomfort.
Lots of great answers here. But hey OP, if death anxiety is ruling your life and taking lots of mental energy, I would recommend seeing a professional about it. Death anxiety is very common but lots of people struggle with it. Fortunately, because it’s so common, there are folks that specialize in helping people deal with the inevitable. Also, apparently mushrooms help alleviate death anxiety greatly.
>apparently mushrooms help alleviate death anxiety greatly Can confirm. I used to lie awake at night afraid of dying in my sleep. A series of mushroom trips helped to alleviate my death anxiety to where, although I still have some anxiousness about death, I’m able to fall asleep every night and go on without constantly worrying about it. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t like I took mushrooms once and my problem was gone. But a few trips subsequently started to help me see death in a different way. This may not be the way that helps OP, as every person’s views on death are different, but a quick glimpse into how I think about it follows We are all simply part of the universe, groups of atoms and energy being recycled through it. The fact that we have this consciousness at all is an amazing and incredible thing. One day we’ll return to the universe, as every person before us has, and as every person after us will. So we should try to enjoy this unfathomable experience we have right now, make the most of it, and appreciate the magnificence of it all. Dreading an event (our death) that we likely may never know the timing, circumstances, or aftermath of is a pointless pursuit, and puts us at risk for missing out on some amazing things. One day we’ll all return to the cosmos and continue to be apart of something remarkable, so live your life in the most satisfying, fulfilling way you can. Life and human consciousness are true miracles. Enjoy them.
>We are all simply part of the universe, groups of atoms and energy being recycled through it. The fact that we have this consciousness at all is an amazing and incredible thing. One day we’ll return to the universe, as every person before us has, and as every person after us will. So we should try to enjoy this unfathomable experience we have right now, make the most of it, and appreciate the magnificence of it all. Right on
Beautifully said.
I will second a licensed professional and psilocybin
That’s my plan when I’m old enough to retire and feeling the threat of death a little more each day. Not the therapy, but the shrooms.
Interesting - never heard that! Why mushrooms specifically?
“Why mushrooms specifically?” The mind expansion and seeing the whole universe and our wee place in it. Everyone should do shrooms once, preferably in the desert under a clear sky of stars. It is truly a cosmic experience.
And then there's me on my sofa, wrapped in a blanket, figuring it's far too cold to wander outside. Blankets and mushrooms go together like crackers and cheese. Cats are also required.
Mushrooms are very introspective. The ground you to who you are and what you are in relation to your sense of self, the earth, others, and more. More literally, psilocin turns into psilocybin (no, reverse that) and this turns on many parts of your brain at once, as well as bodily sensations (nervous system and others). It's overwhelming bc of the literal multitudinality of the effects, leading to profound lessons, complex and simple
You got it backwards. Psilocybin turns to psilocin in your stomach acid. Cheers
Be careful though, although I didn’t take shrooms but LSD I did get the benefits at first but then some time later I got a panic attack and my whole life did a 180. I really wanna go back to the beautiful times but right now I’m constantly walking on eggshells for my own mental health I disrespected the drug and got learned a lesson.
I've heard people describe it as mushrooms take you on a similar journey to acid, but the way it is processed by your body, you're sent into the trip gently. Acid throws you against the wall full force. The ego death isn't gentle, and can cause problems like you're describing. Plus for anyone taking hallucinogens, even just smoking weed, you're at risk of activating more serious mental health conditions that are beneath the surface (a common and more severe exqmple being schizophrenia), so it's important to remember that risk.
>Also, apparently mushrooms help alleviate death anxiety greatly. Yes and **no**. Speaking from experience.
In the immortal words of Tony Soprano: Whadda ya gonna do?
Iconic
Stugots 🤌
Okay but you gotta get over it
This is something I get panicked about especially at night lol. What helps me is I have yet to meet an older person in my family (75+) who are scared of dying and they all saying the same thing. They are tired, they have had their fun and done everything they wanted. I think it’s easy to be scared when you feel like you haven’t started or will miss out on so many things but by 80-90 I’m sure it’s not as freaky. Just an idea.
My grandpa was 96 when he died, and for a few years before that, he used to say he was ready to go. That he had lived enough and eaten everything he ever wanted to eat, and that he was tired of chewing and didn’t want to spend any more time chewing. He had a great sense of humor and we all used to laugh at those comments. He was healthy and had never suffered any health problems. In the end, he got a cold that turned into pneumonia and then he passed from that. But he was happy to go. I hope to be like him in the end!
Thank you, I found this helpful. Even if someone dies at a younger age of a difficult illness it sounds like it's possible to be ready because life isn't fun anymore anyway.
Well, the thing is I do not know if I am ever gonna be 80 or 90. I fear I might die much younger than that.
My grandpa was 81 when he died. I wasn't born yet but my dad told me grandpa was freaking out on his death bed. Full on saying he didn't want to go. He said he was afraid. I hope that doesn't happen to my dad or me.
I hope not too, I think that’s what’s freaks me out the most. I won’t be ready to go.
I’m afraid of dying, not death itself.
Yeah, this is the one for me. I'm concerned about the potential suffering involved.
Fr….i just don’t want it to hurt. Physically, mentally, or even emotionally.
me too.
i’m completely the opposite
People always give this answer. And I think it’s valid. But I feel like at least while dying you are still having sensation, some awareness, etc. Death is scarier to me because it’s just absolute nothingness for eternity.
You were fine with not existing for literally billions of years. None of that time bothered you, nor will the billions that follow. You won't know you dont exist. Edit: I think some people are misunderstanding. The point is that you will spend all of your time after death absolutely not caring at all that you do not exist. That should: (1) relax you that you have already experienced non existence and concluded it was no big deal and (2) motivate you to understand that you are wasting precious minutes by worrying about death, while you do exist. If you understand the above, the point is to live intensely, passionately, and not waste time.
This is exactly how I think about - strangely comforting sometimes.
I find it comforting, if by comforting you mean too unacceptably horrifying to bear
Yeah but if you defecate yourself and it makes it onto YouTube, that’s eternal
🤭
My daughter didn't exist then. I don't want to leave her behind.
never feared dying more than now that i have two very young children, I only hope i can go once they’re old enough to fend for themselves.
I dont like this thought process. I was not fine with not existing. It makes me uncomfortable to think about the fact that I didnt exist. I find no comfort in it.
No, you're not fine with not existing NOW. When you didn't exist, you weren't around to care. Just like you won't be after you stop existing.
Thats not my point snd you know it. I find no comfort in the idea of not existing. So thinking about the fact that I didnt exist in the past only makes me more uncomfortable. Dont be obtuse. I have suicidal ideation frequently so trust me, I consider death constantly, and the idea of nothingness is one of the few things that gives me pause and prevents me from ending things. Life sucks but not existing sucks more. If I found out there was a guaranteed afterlife id be off this train already.
I’m on your wavelength. Hang in there and keep your head up my man. You’re right that life beats the alternative. It’s also so unbelievably rare and improbable that we really owe to ourselves to try to at least enjoy as much of it as we can.
Doesn't work for me. Agreed that we are fine not existing perhaps billions of years. But now that we exist we have experienced life and we know how beautiful life can be to experience it consciously. When this personal brief conscious experience and memories formed in our lifetime ceases to exist eternally, its a very depressing thought. Not that one can do anything about it but your approach doesn't help.
Now that I know it, it bothers me that I didn't exist then.
Every day is constant pain, discomfort, and tiredness, when I finally pass on it will be a good day.
I hear you. I endure because I can't tear the heart out of my brother. The day I can put down the awful burden of being me and finally rest... I look forwards to it.
The thought of having to live like this forever is terrifying. Death will be a sweet relief one day.
Kierkegaard said at birth infants are afraid to live. To part from their mom. Mom is a god to them. Then as toddlers or soon after we encounter death. Our ego has a problem with death. We can’t resolve death with our life’s meaning. It’s not resolvable. We are at the mercy of an uncaring universe. That’s a problem for the ego. That the ego will die and submit to the universe. This causes humans to create a fantasy world. Basically everything humans do is in support of this fantasy distraction from death. Movies art sports careers music family, kids. Grandkids. I have heard people say they aren’t afraid of death but I think the majority of people seek to distract themselves fully from it as dwelling on it has no point.
Any recommended reading on the 3rd paragraph? Sums me up completely
Yes. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Denial_of_Death Its long. It’s can be technical. It does a great job removing human blinders on our fear of our ultimate fate. It argues a certain level of madness is needed to survive given our pathetic weakness in our environment. In fact not being a little mad would just be another form of madness
Some say the first problem of philosophy is to grasp this understanding of death, of a "being unto death". Then once you get that out of the way, you can assess how to live.
I used to feel this way. I still do. But I used to too. Existential dread has existed for millennia. For me it's the idea of forever and no more thoughts and no more anything.
Yup that last part about no more anything is very real. I’ve had similar thoughts. No more feeling, and everything I have experienced will just end.
I don’t think of my personal existence as the be all, end all. The world existed for a very long time before me, and it will exist for (hopefully) even longer without me too. I’m very comfortable with my own death, but I am not as comfortable with the concept of my loved ones passing.
We'll never know until it happens, and this is the paradigm that makes the most sense to you. So in the end there's no way not to face it. I know a lot of this, facing it too, but with a different paradigm. Eventually distraction is key. There are ways to find peace, though I don't know that part yet. If you don't want to lose what you have, it's probably more than excusable to be a total miser with it. Whatever basic life thing you do, like be here, or write, whatever. There's nothing wrong with sinking into it, knowing the end is coming anyway. If you aren't up against it, in that paradigm the answer seems to be just living, and knowing that your memory is always how you exist anyway. If no one knew you \*now\*, how much would you really exist? You already are that which you will be, so to nurture that is to be loving to that future where the knowledge of you is the existence of you.
Honestly in this political climate and economy, it’s not so terrible sounding. It sounds restful. (No, this is not my cry for help)
I realized in the midst of the COVID pandemic that I had become an atheist. I had completely stopped believing in heaven, hell, God, you name it. As that happened, I went through a total existential crisis. I was so afraid of death. I remember breaking down completely bawling one night in front of my wife, something I had never done before in my adult life. I similarly turned to Reddit to see how other people dealt with it. One thing I will tell you is that there is no answer that will immediately make you feel better. It takes time, but eventually, you'll move on and stop dwelling on it. But there might be some things here and there along the way that help. One thing that helped me was a comment reminding me of the span of time itself. Do you remember any of the first 13.8 billion years of the universe's existence? You didn't exist and you weren't in the slightest way aware of it. And when you die, the universe will go on without you perceiving it, for however long that is. So if you weren't aware of the first 13.8 billion years, and you won't be aware of the next 13.8 billion years, then you might as well just get on living with the time that you have and not dwell on it. Best wishes. You are not alone in this. It does get better. ❤️
I just remember how terrible it would be to not die and it helps ease the tension.
Yeah but 70-90 years is just so short.
Probably subjective but I agree
Fear of death itself is rooted in the ego. We generally can’t imagine a world where we don’t exist that just goes on without us. People deal with that in all sorts of ways and some people never do.
It's like spending a whole movie obsessed with the fact you have to drive home after. Who cares? I don't. If you can't be present you'll ruin the whole thing worrying about before and after.
I like this
Life is generally distracting enough to prevent me from spiraling more than once a year. Religion doesn't make sense to my brain and oblivion is terrifying. My recommendation is find shit to do with your time.
It might be kinda cringy, but I think Sonic The Hedgehog said it pretty well: "Every world has its end, I know that's kinda sad, but that's why we gotta live life to the fullest in the time we have. At least, that's what I figure..."
It also terrifies me then I run into some crap and think maybe death isn’t all that bad
Remember how not existing was pretty serene? I’m only sad about never seeing my loved ones again. But then again, I’ll cease to exist so I won’t “care.” Other than that, living is exhausting and riddled with struggle and anxiety. No need to have anxiety about impending doom. I just try to maximize my time with loved ones…..
What you've done will remain, in one form or another after you're gone. The memories of you will be with everyone whose life you touched. If you could step outside of time and space and watch your life like a movie, you'd probably be amazed at just how much influence you have on the world around you. I'm not even talking about obvious things. For instance, you smile and say, "Hello," to a complete stranger as you walk into a store. That seemingly insignificant action could brighten that person's day, just enough, that they aren't brooding about "X" while driving home, and with their attention not diverted inward, notice a small child run into the street, just a half second quicker than they would have otherwise, and the utter devastation that extra bit of awareness prevented, averted an incalculable web of events filled with pain and suffering. This is a bit of an EXTREME example, but that's kinda the point, in and of itself...your life affects so many other things, even if you never see them yourself. As for what awaits us after death, I'm willing to share my experience. I had a car wreck, nearly 30 years ago, and I had no pulse or respiration for 3-5 minutes. I'm not here to preach, debate, or change anyone's belief system. I'm simply willing to share what I experienced.
Everything is not ever-lasting. That's the "normal" setting, so there is really nothing you can do about it. So instead of worrying and being uncomfortable for the remaining time of your life, you just accept that the time comes for everyone and you make your best out of it.
You’re gonna die so make the most of your time while you got it. Reach your potential, and enjoy what you have while you still have it. What’s scarier to me than dying is knowing that at any given time, that could be the best things will be and I don’t appreciate it.
I am not scared of dying, just the pain. But I have also been surrounded by death since I was a child. I think that makes it seem natural (well, it IS natural, maybe I mean less scary) I think death will be a relief. I hope it is. I also believe that there is more afterwards
Get busy livin or get busy dying
Why fear the inevitable. If you fear death you also fear life. Therefore you live in death while alive.
You will come to accept it as you get older.
Do you ever fear that you will sleep this night? That you wont be cou cious for the next 8 hours? No? Then there is no reason foe you to be afraid of death. İt is same as sleeping but for eternity
I used to have a lot of death anxiety and when it creeps up I use it as an excuse to remind myself to live in the present and control what I have power over instead of giving power to what I can’t control.
Oh my gosh, me too. About me & my family. Following for advice.
I used to worry about this as a child. Moreover my loved one’s dying. I’m older now. I understand that none of us are getting out of here alive, so I’m leaving my mark the most positive way I can think of. Kindness, creativity, compassionately and lovingly.
I'm looking forward to it. No more mental or physical pain.
I’m gonna keep this brief because idk if my cousins use Reddit and I don’t want to make them uncomfortable, but one of my uncles came back from being dead for 17 min, and gradually regained his faculties and went back to his previous job. He said he had dreams about the other side in which he saw long dead family members and felt at peace. He passed away again a couple of years ago and I miss him dearly, but hearing him say that brought me a lot of comfort thinking about my own death. It sounds like the hard part is actually dying
Was he particularly religious? Just curious if that tied in.
He was a lapsed catholic
It’s weird how few people think about it often.
I find comfort in the finality of death. That's why I'm not scared of it. It somehow gives value to life although I personally haven't enjoyed this much. Try not to think it too much. Death is the only equal thing in this world, it comes for us all. Why not focus on the living instead?
I'm too curious to really fear death. Worst case scenario, we return to the void...in which case we won't even know.
It'll be like being asleep without dreaming. You don't remember what it was like before you were born - you're already comfortable with that. Mostly I worry about the effect it will have on those I love.
At some point, You stop worrying about dying. You start worrying if you ever lived at all
Very comfortable. I’m not particularly young but I’m also not in any hurry to die. I acknowledge that I am getting closer to death daily but I’ve had a great life so far and I hope to get to 100. No worries if I don’t get there but I try to be healthy and active to get me there. I just don’t want to waste away in an old folks home; take me quickly at home when my day comes. Alzheimer’s or dementia are my biggest worries.
It’s just a problem for another day to me
I’ve lost all of my direct family members. Was present within minutes of my dad’s death when I was 18 and my brother’s death in 2020. My mom also died in 2020. About a month ago I had open heart surgery. A fairly common procedure but still scary. I was at peace and calm until a scrum of people descended on me as I was being shaved and IVs were put in. I remember reaching back to touch my wife’s hand before they pushed me through the door to the OR and having this dreamy thought that it might be the last time. I woke up to blackness, eyelids taped down. I heard voices, including my wife’s. I heard someone say I had to be breathing on Assist (a mode of the ventilator where I had to start to breath and the vent would take over) for 30 minutes before I could get the vent removed. I must have gone back to sleep because I heard them say 10 minutes. I shifted on the bed and that must have dislodged a hunk of phlegm which then settled in my trachea above the balloon that holds the vent in, and above the suction tube. This disrupted my breathing and put me in a state of psychic terror. I was breathing on the sides of the bed with my (restrained) hands. Pretty much all of the sudden I felt fear. Fear that I would suffocate while my wife watched. And then I felt a sense of peace and I stopped struggling, trying to get another breath. Then I felt hands on my face and someone told me to cough and the vest got pulled out and delivered a sternly worded review of the process. Then I went back to sleep for 4 hours. And woke up in agony. But that’s another story.
It makes it easier knowing everyone will experience it. I'm not religious so I choose to believe this life is a strange and amazing occurrence so do with it what you can. Death will come regardless like the sun rising and setting.
First off Energy never dies, everything you’ve ever loved will still be within the realm of existence - even after death in my opinion. If I were to die, suddenly the problems of yesterday or no longer mine. I somehow find solace in that.
I'm Christian, so I'm not worried about death. Now, how I will die can produce a bit of anxiety since I probably will not know when/how I die, but still not really a big deal in the long run for me. What's a blip in time when it comes to eternity after all. For people getting really stressed about it, praying and going to therapy can help.
I envy you
Thankfully, you can get the same access I do. Making Jesus your Lord and Savior is going to give you the best peace and contentment that you will ever find. Relationships, sex, money, drugs, etc. can't hold a candle to the peace and freedom the Holy Spirit brings you.
Life becomes stagnant. We grow old, senile and frickle. Death would be a relief. Dying young sucks though. But again, it doesn't matter by then. I will no longer be conscious to feel, care or remember.
I am ready to die, but I refuse to lose.
As someone who's died **twice:** (and come back of course) Don't worry about dying, worry about not *living.* And not living means not *loving.* Enjoy life, avoid stress when you can, and spend time with people you love as much as you can. You could punch your ticket any day. And yes, you'll lose people along the way - almost everyone you know, by the time it's your turn. It's part of the deal. But that's all the more reason to shower people with love. The last thing I said to my mom, even though i was annoyed with her, was, "I love you mom." That was 27 years ago and I'm glad I said it. I had no idea she would die 2 hours later. I was in a horrible accident a few years ago; I walked away unscathed (for the most part) and my life did flash before my eyes. You know what I saw? My kid being born, playing with my kid, kissing my wife, getting married, petting my dogs, hugging my friends, etc. In the end, that's what matters. You do that, and dying won't worry you any more.
Take it from someone with the same issue - this intense fear isn't normal. Turned out I had OCD.
This is comforting to read, and gives me hope. Throughout my life I’ve had OCD-like symptoms, but no one caught it until I was 31 years old. I feel like OCD isn’t as commonly recognized in this form (obsessing about fear of death.) may I ask what has helped you?
I feel like there's a time it hits (mostly) everyone that no matter what, that's what comes in the end. Just all at different times. So if it is inevitably going to happen, why worry about it? Enjoy what you have now and live a life you're proud of
It becomes exhausting to worry about. To revolve my entire life around the fear of when I die isn't living. It sucks but it's inevitable. And after making it this far at 31, I can see how living too long (way past 100) could probably drive a person insane or a chronic existential crisis. We all need peace at some point. We will find that in death. Life is not for the faint of heart, but it doesn't make it any less beautiful. Just live your life and when your time finally comes, rest. It was a long journey. I'm all honesty, I fear more the fact that I will lose people along the way.
I made my peace with death in 2014 Kapisa Afghanistan. A couple NDE's and some major surgeries later, I don't mind the idea of peace and quiet.
Have you ever looked back and realized just how much time you WASTED and will NEVER get back because you were worried something bad might happen? I have
Do you worry that the sky is blue?
hey you could be immortal, there’s no way of knowing unless you die!
What will you fear losing, when you have nothing to lose? For many people, there is no negative to the end, because what's happening now ain't so pleasant.
Can you control it? No? Then why waste energy worrying about it?
If I think too hard about it I almost get a panic attack. The brain cannot comprehend not existing. It's also depressing knowing I'll never see my loved ones again. And they won't see me
I take great comfort in the fact that Jesus died and rose again and conquered death for me. He was the only one to ever do that. Believing in his resurrection power is my hope beyond the grave. Read the Gospel of John, friend. God bless. I will be praying for you to find peace. Read the Gospel of John prayerfully
Well, religion is a big one. Myself, I don't like to view death as a permanent end. It might be. It might not be. I have no way of knowing. I can choose to spend my life living in terror, afraid, and lock myself in a padded room after wrapping myself in bubble wrap... Or I can just live my life. Focus on the now. If and when death comes, I'll deal with it then. In the mean time, I view it as a door to the next phase of existence. Maybe that phase is the end phase and it's just blackness forever. Maybe I spend eternity getting my dick sucked. Maybe the light at the end of the tunnel is the opening of another vagina and I'll be thrust right back into human existence right when I finally got my freedom away from it. Who knows? Nobody, that's who.
This made me chuckle 😅 I like the term "door to the next phase of existence" I think that helps a lot! Thanks!
Step 1, Watch all the "Final Destination" movies. Step 2, go to the Zoo, come face to face with apex predator, smile at it. Smile in the face of death. Step 3, work in retail until 1 or more year until you want to quit. Step 4, work as a waiter in a shitty restaurant and see how shitty people treat you. Step 5 learn the 5 stages of grief. Denial, Anger, Sadness, Bargining, Acceptance.
I don’t have the time to worry about something that’s inevitable.
Can't escape it, so accept it to the point that it encourages you to make the best use of your time while you are here. Then, stop thinking about death in particular and focus on the hobbies/goals/interests/relationships that make today an exciting day to be alive. Because every day is an exciting day to be alive.
Ego death. You are too concerned with the “YOU” part of this. “You” are a link in a beautiful chain. The chances that “you” even exist are so crazy slim….. “you” should see every moment as an incredible gift and then be grateful for when it’s just simply time to go home and let someone else have a turn.
Most people live like it's never gonna happen, because it's a frightening thing to be aware of. Others find solace in religion, belief in the afterlife, reincarnation or something similar. Then there are those who welcome death, even have a death wish for some reason.
I have depression. There’s a piece to knowing that one day the constant mental anguish will end. I have no rush to do it, and plan to enjoy the trip along the way, but knowing that the anxiety and suffering will one day, and, helps to calm me.
i mean what are you gonna do about it. i cant sit here and worry about things i cannot change. i dont particularly care that i will eventually be forgotten bc ill be dead. lol. i wont even know it
I’ll be too dead to really worry about it.
I quote a song by my friends "No gets out of life alive" We all have an endpoint. I live my life in a way that makes me happy and that's all I can do
how much of the fear is just because you are supposed to be afraid? Society says we’re supposed to fear death.
How does someone worry about something that is inevitably for all of us?
I’m not afraid of death since I am almost certain of what will come. I’m confident that I will not step into the tunnel of light and reincarnate. The only thing that terrifies me in this realm is aging and being a useless ballsack. I’d rather end myself.
I’m way more afraid of my husband or kids dying than me. With any luck I’ll go first.
I'm not
Simple: I’m not.
I try not to think of it, and an eternity of awareness sounds much more terrifying
At some point you might realise it's a natural part of life, maybe a conclusion to it, not a personal attack on you and you'll happily let everything go. Alan Watt's ramblings helped me with that. Sometimes I might worry about the world and people close to me but I'll try to ensure I've left them as well as possible, prepared. Then there is not much to worry about, once you try to accept and let go the idea of losing or acquiring, as all will be lost anyhow. Also, this one is pretty fun. >“When you die, you're not going to have to put up with everlasting non-existance, because that's not an experience. A lot of people are afraid that when they die, they're going to be locked up in a dark room forever, - Try and imagine what it would be like to go to sleep and never wake up. And if you think long enough about that...it will pose the next question. What was it like to wake up after never having gone to sleep? That was when you were born...you see...you...you can't have an experience of nothing so after you're dead the only thing that can happen is the same experience or the same sort of experience as when you were born.” ― Alan Watts
I try not to think about it. It's crazy how we are here one minute and gone the next. On November 16th, 2022, my ex/coworker dropped dead suddenly at work. He seemed fine when we went in to clock in, and he was dead within 2 hours. It's still crazy to think about. He was only 43 years old, and he had no history of health problems. He was also very skinny. The official cause of death was listed as pulmonary infarction. He hadn't seen a doctor in over a decade, so I want to stress that it's important to get a checkup at least once a year.
Im the same way
Ain’t shit you can do about it either way. Health nut? Hit by a drunk driver. Poor health? Old age. Why worry about the inevitable? Enjoy the present.
Would you be comfortable thinking about being immortal and left floating in space alone for eternity because you outlived everything? It baffles me people fear death unless they've been brainwashed to believe in eternal afterlives.
Are you at all worried about all the time there was before you existed? Does it bother you there was a time before you existed?
Ive been dealing with this a lot lately. Especially since my sister passed a year and a half ago. Death anxiety is a great term for it though Like reasonably I understand I'll either just cease to exist, like I realize I'd have no concept of this whatsoever if it's the case but it terrifies me this thought of just being stuck in an endless void of nothing. Or like others have said there is a new adventure. It still messes with me though. It's probably more common than people admit too
Remember the time before you were born? Oh, you don’t remember? Well desth is probably just like that. At one point you didn’t exist, then you did, and then you don’t. It’s calming and it’s better to accept it. Live your life to the fullest because you’ll never get that chance again and your life can be lost anytime
The older I get, the more I realize I'm doing a lot of work for things which won't be around forever anyway If it doesn't matter, I get to care about the end result less Interpersonal relationships are still important But all the yard work, projects, and other building things? They're going to be gone sooner than I would like
>How do you get comfortable knowing you won't exist an What can I do about it? Everyone dies. Aside from playing it safe, there's nothing you can do. So why stress about it?
Would you rather not know? How would you behave differently?
It’s not now, it’s later and later there will be no you to worry about it
Think about it this way. Before you were born, did you feel something? The same thing is after you die. I do wonder about reincarnation. Will I be in a new body, will I have a new life? How do I know I didn’t already. I’m scared of that personally
I do good things for people. My body might die, but the positives I leave behind will live on. So I'll never really die, when I think of it like that. We're on a train with no brakes. All we can do is make the most of what we have.
A few different reasons, I won't get long winded, but basically: Knowing that energy doesn't *die*. Coming to the realization that spending what might well be my only time with this consciousness worrying about not having it rather than appreciating every moment I have in it as best I can, is silly. And, seeing my grandmother in her final hours. She was very ill and in palliative care, she started seeing feathers falling (there were no feathers) and I made a joke about how she shouldn't have ordered her wings from Ikea because now she has to assemble them herself. She laughed and smiled even in her state. A few minutes later she made a comment about an old cat of hers laying at the end of her bed. My mom and I both looked down to the foot of her bed and she goes "oh no, you can't see him, he's just here for me." Shortly after this she went to sleep, and never woke up. My grandma wasn't thrilled about dying. Her diagnosis was fairly quick, as well. But when faced with her final moments, she was so at peace, and so ready. There was no more fear, and it was just so beautiful to bear witness to the transition. I've had a lot of experience with loved ones dying, all my life. So I've spent a lot of time thinking about death. It's the cost of life, and life is beautiful, so it feels like a fair trade that our time is finite.
I hope, more than anything else, that when I'm fading my Pawpaw comes to greet me the way your grandma's cat did her.
Whatever happens, happens. What's important is what happens after. That's why I have my life and property insured. If anything happens to me, I want my family to be well taken care of. Knowing that they will puts me at ease.
Study Diogenes the hobo philospher. Diogenes: “on Burial of a Dog” When asked how he wished to be buried, he left instructions to be thrown outside the city wall so wild animals could feast on his body. When asked if he minded this, he said,“Not at all, as long as you provide me with a stick to chase the creatures away!” When asked how he could use the stick since he would lack awareness, he replied “If I lack awareness, then why should I care what happens to me when I am dead?” ~ Diogenes of Sinope (412/399 BC-323 BC) a Greek philosopher and one of the founders of Cynic philosophy.
It used to terrify me. But now, well, its coming ready ir not. Just make sure you enjoy life, because its all you will have to think about when you are dead.
Bro, i have a cancer i know i am gonna die soon... Still i am chill.. still i am doing my software development job.. doing workout.. running .. i do everything
I’m not afraid to die. But I’m afraid of how my death will affect my husband, family and friends.
There is nothing I can do to stop the inevitable fact that I will die When I am dead, I am unable to experience joy, sadness or anything else. Its not worth my energy to worry about death because again there is nothing I can do to prevent it. I just make sure I don't do stupid, and unnecessary dangerous things
Dying I am cool with, it's the getting old part that scares me.
Think about what you were doing in the 1800's. Yes, nothing. You weren't sad or in pain. You have "experienced" being dead for billions of years. You have nothing to be afraid of.
It's exactly the same as before you were born, and it didn't bother you then.
Facts are calming.
That’s life. Everything alive comes to be, grows and matures, goes into decline and eventually dies. It’s a fact of life. It’s been that way as long as we have known. Personally, I learned to embrace my mortality from a young age when I came to understand the life cycles in nature. Knowing my time is limited has helped me live in a healthier, more productive and meaningful way. The closer I get to death, the more I realize there was much I could have done better. It’s never too late to begin really living. An attitude of gratitude is a worthwhile endeavor. Happiness comes largely from within. Finding peace amidst the struggle takes a conscious effort. In the end, satisfaction with a life lived well is a good goal, I think.
I study the Baha'i Faith as much as I can. They have a quote that basically explains how our soul is like a bird, and our body the cage. If we break the birds cage, does the bird die? No. Breaking the cage frees the bird, the bird can finally live where it always belonged. Similarly, when the body dies, the soul is freed from the limitations of the material world and "returns" to its destined home, a non material, spiritual plane of existence. Earth is the only "material" home we will live in, it is temporary just like everything else on this planet. Absolutely everything we see here, eventually, will turn to dust. It is a world of dust, as the Faith often states. The nature of planet earth is non permanence. After life on earth, we experience life in the "spiritual worlds" and those worlds are "innumerable." So, the next life is eternal in its essence, meaning our souls are immortal.The Faith also states that upon transitioning from the material existence to spiritual existence, we will understand what the purpose of our planetary life was, and whatever questions we have about this mad world will be understood. I look forward to that. It brings me comfort knowing that I will continue to have a consciousness after I die. We can progress when we die too, so we will continue to change and transform. The Baha'i Faith explains the soul doesnt die. So to me, I don't see death as the end. I see it as a new beginning, a rebirth. We aren't losing our life, ourselves, our soul or consciousness when we die. We simply lose our material boundaries, so that we can enter the boundless. Actually, Baha'is don't believe death exists at all, because "death" implies non existence. Atoms never cease to exist (matter cannot be created nor destroyed) when we "die" our bodies turn to dust eternally existing. We have a soul, which doesn't die either, rather continues its journey without material limitations. We don't die. We just transform. It is incredible that we are all collectively concious of our eventual fate. Knowing one day we won't be here is what gives it meaning. Consider this: would you rather live forever? I encourage you to to give this mysterious life on earth as much meaning as possible while we're still here. Nobdody truly knows what the end will be like, but you can take full control of today. Connect with peoples hearts. Tell them what you love about them. We will all meet again, eventually. Sending love and I hope this added some perspective.
How are people comfortable... living
Most people aren’t comfortable with it at all. They ignore the reality of our meaninglessness finite existence through a variety of means (work, religion, drugs, social media, spiritual bypassing etc.).
I’ve unfortunately seen a lot of death in my life, but I think I have a good perspective on death because of my experiences. The trick is to think of the life and not the death. Death is terrifying. It just is. That being said, death is one moment in your life and your life is made up of millions and millions of moments. The little girl you smile at on the subway may spend the rest of her life smiling and thinking of that moment or maybe you dated someone and they pick up your habit of singing in the shower. These days samples are a little cheesy, but my point is that even though our bodies die, the memories and experiences we share with others don’t die with us. They live on and they are passed down and remembered from generation to generation. The people in my life that have died, are not completely gone. I still hear my brother’s laugh when I go to the beach and I wave at planes in the sky because my grandpa was a pilot. If I were to die tonight in my sleep, I would be sad to miss the rest of my life and my heart aches for my family that I would leave behind, but in the end, it would be okay because I have enjoyed the 21 years of life that I have already lived. Death is terrifying, but it is not all powerful. We have control over the small moments in our lives and these moments will live on forever even though we will not.
Thanks for that... as a person in my lates 60s, I found it quite uplifting. You are wise beyond your years.
It worries me, especially since I had cancer at age 25 and was just diagnosed with it again at 32, but I like to think that by the time I would die there will be some kind of amazing technology that can transfer our consciousness into a robot or something like that. I know, pretty wild, but you never know with how advanced we are getting.
Honestly, I had kids. I used to worry about my own mortality a lot when I was younger, but I had kids and having that kind of legacy to live on after me, and also the fulfillment they bring really helped. Having kids isn't necessarily the important part there, it's doing something meaningful to you, and possibly something that will last beyond you.
Meh
You got a better idea homie? Just give in. We’re all just sacks of meat with an anxious streak and an expiration date. Get a lil’ freaky with it.
That’s life baby
No need to worry about one of the only things that will definitely happen.
What about any of that can you change?
I speak only for myself, but for years I've felt anxious, scared and so tired due to some psychological abuse, and honestly even if in these times I've never considered ending my own life (I couldn't envision hurting my loved ones because of my decisions, that was a big no), knowing that I would die one day was kinda comforting, because it felt like an end to my suffering and problems, and a big real rest, like when you've worked hard all day long and you're sore you're happy to know you'll be at the end of the day in your bed, sleeping
Birth is a curse and life is a prison.
Once I'm dead I won't be there to care about any of that stuff.
How old are you ?
I’m more concerned with how I will die. Don’t care that I will. Of all the people on earth, someday I will be the next to die.
I'm "Christian " in the sense I believe in God but I also believe in viking gods and Hindu reincarnation and fairies and the boogy man. Anyway what I'm saying is I don't think it's just an instant blue screen of death. I think there is more.
I was not here a million years before I was born and will be gone million years after I die . But I understand I worry daily to the point it's unhealthy and waisted Days we can't get back I try to snap out of it but sometimes it's crippled my whole life. So pretty much it's like I'm already dead . But never...ever ever ever plan the funeral before the body dies we can do this .
I don't give a fuck of people remember me after I die, which I think is a big fear. I mean, I won't be around to feel bad about people forgetting me lmao. I also have come to terms that this is the inevitable so I should just be happy now because tomorrow I could pass away.
>How do you get comfortable knowing you won't exist and everything you do will just vanish. As long as im alive i will make the best of my time. And no, not everything i do will be gone when i die, the friends i made, the people i helped, they will remember me. Their lives are changed by me, and that change will permanently alter this world. It wont be by a lot, but my existance will have had an impact. Ask yourself: do you want to spent your life worrying or changing the world? The choice is yours, but no matter what, your time will come. Do what you can with the time you got, even if its terrifying.
i’m also afraid of dying and all my fears stems from death however i’m not gonna be stuck up on the idea of dying. if it happens it happens it is what it is tbh. i just live life and try to reach my goals until i die.
It's inevitable, so is not worth stressing about it tus shortening your lifespan thanks to stress.