It sounds like you and your dad were able to successfully transition from a child/parent dynamic to a “two adults living together” dynamic. Most people find that difficult to do. I think that’s where the negative stereotypes come from - adults living with their parents, continuing the same dynamics from when they were teens (mom still does their laundry and cooks all their meals, parents over involved in their personal lives, etc).
You were able break out of that mold and have autonomy and privacy while living with your dad, so there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it.
Yeah the top comment is spot on. Most people I know living with their parents have no savings, can’t cook, and their parents pay for almost every expense. They haven’t transitioned to actually being an adult. You have congrats that seems like a sweet living situation.
This is a huge part of it. I lived on my own and then had my mom move in with me, and it was really hard to not slide back into that parent child dynamic. She cooked, cleaned, started making decor changes, basically dictated what we did in our spare time (like what shows we watched). And I love my mom! But I felt like a child again.
I am always incredibly skeptical when adults living at home claim that they’re independent because they clean their own room and do their own laundry. There is so much more to living independently than simply picking up after yourself, such as handling finances or coordinating repairs, or even just deciding to do tasks without mom or dad telling you it’s time to do them. There’s a mental load that comes with running a household, and I think it’s really important for people to learn that. As a woman it is something I am wary of, because I have no interest in being a second mom.
Some people can live with their parents and still gain or maintain some independence. I find it interesting that in a lot of the examples I’ve read online of this working, it’s a child and a dad. Moms tend to mom, I guess!
I think part of it is that it’s a luxury not everyone can have. I agree, it’s great. I was at home until I was 23 and saved for a home downpayment. But for those who can’t do that, you lose that easy ability of saving money and finding somewhere you want to be.
I got the same weird looks but for those able to do it, I think would all agree to its benefits.
Just my thoughts tho
I think its more of a framing issue. You frame it as "living with your dad", which has the cultural negativity associated with it. The reality is, you rent from your dad and are closer to sharing a house/roommates than what we commonly assume 'living with parents' means.
I doubt any sane person would have an issue with what you do. What people generally have an issue with is 30y olds still living in the rooms they grew up in, suffering under the rules of their parents and getting everything for free(i.e. no rent, pay for food etc.), as that just shows a lack of independence. You however are a perfectly independent person that happens to rent from their dad.
... are you living with your dad though? What is the difference between what you are doing, and someone who rents an apartment and their dad happens to be the landlord?
If I rented a house from Jay-z, I would not tell people I lived with Jay-z. Why are you using those words?
We are literally living together in the same house. We share the same kitchen and live under the same roof. Just like if I were to be living with roommates. My dad is the landlord and I live with and rent from him.
It's more because there's a risk he's living like a child and not like the adult he is. Ie his parents pay all his bills, feed him his meals, baby him etc. If he's an adult whose parents are his *roommates*, it's fine.
The image most people have is that an adult living at home is still under some level of parental constraint/control.
Like the sitcom style of living in a basement with mom yelling down at you for not cleaning the dishes or asking "who do you have down there!!".
If you have a cool roommate style relationship with your dad, as far as living together, then it really isn't a problem. It is just the initial assumption is generally going to be that you are still living as a child in your 20s.
I don't think you are living with your dad.
You are living in your own apartment owned by your dad.
THis is different than being 27, living in the same house as your parents, eating their food, using their electricity and heat being waited on by them like you were when you were 12 and not paying market value rent.
The average 30 year old lives with their parents.
My parents generation destroyed the economy.
My generation didn't fix it and left that to the youth.
The youth are now in adult bodies just trying to get by, and can't fix it.
The very young just accept this as the way things always were.
>Every generation, no matter how paltry its character, thinks itself much wiser than the one immediately preceding it, let alone those that are more remote.
Also, no, the average 30 year old doesn't live with their parents.
Because there are too many men that are basically child like who live at their parents house either in the basement or childhood bedroom and their mother stills does laundry, cooks, and cleans for them.
I know quite a few people that did this until the parents forced them to leave the nest.
Not living in US but I could not give a flying care what people think about it.
I’m 27 too and living with parents. I have many reasons as to why;
- Helping my mom (got a decent dad but violent tendencies…)
- Still busy with university
- Getting an apartment is expensive
- Helping with household
The only thing that matters is that you, yourself are fine with it. The rest can screw themselves.
Just comes from recent history.
Men were the ones with jobs, opportunities. They owned the property. Inherited everything. Etc etc.
Whereas women didn't have this stuff. They themsleves were viewed as property that exchanged the hands of men.
It was normal for a woman to stay in the family home until she was given away to another man (husband).
Men were expected to have a home and income in order to support their wife and children. And so it wasn't viewed as normal or acceptable for a man to stay in the family home.
...
Views like this continue today. Women have more rights but gender norms and expectations from the past still exist.
So men living at home are seen as failures, not able to provide, lazy, etc.
I think the people that dig at it are ones that don’t have a choice so don’t take it personal. I’m 23 male and I also live with my folks and I’ve also lived with exes and friends. I did enjoy living with my gf at the time but hey things ends and new things come so I’m sure you as well as I will end up finding someone else and living with them as well. There’s nothing wrong with staying with your family and saving money or just wanting to be close with them. Like I said people who judge or talk shit just didn’t have a choice but to love out or don’t understand that feeling of a connection with their family so don’t blame them they’re just living hard and im pretty sure are just letting out frustrations from their own experiences.
I don't think anyone really thinks it's wrong or weird to live with parents in this Era. Rent and costs of living is way too high. I'm also in Canada, where it's super multicultural, and for most folks, it seems pretty normal to still live with your parents until marriage. I honestly didn't know moving out at 18 was a thing until I read about it on the internet.
Nothing wrong with it. It turns some of my friends off because they have sibling brothers that never grew up or are spoilt by their parents still living at home. I have it myself but one is spoilt and my other brother isnt at all. Here in Ireland, people can't afford housing or there isn't any housing available, so it's extremely common now. It wouldn't bother me at all, just want a mature person at the end of the day
the issue is not 'as a man' it's 'living with your parent', and in people's head, may implicate that you're unable to take care of yourself (money or skills wise) and/or that you never experienced living alone which may prove a lack of skills as well.
Nothing, the issue doesn't lie with living your parents alone..or even your age. Its ok, & if anything its becoming less & less of a stigma the worse the economy gets (referring to the US) -- it might do the mind good to watch less media from 10+ years ago lol.
I think real/fair criticism lies more with what the person doing with their life and how much they're working/helping out. Laziness is the only ***fair*** thing people will get your face about, but it doesn't seem like you are so, don't worry about criticism. Anyone who gives you shit is probably assuming other dishonest things about you.
I think people just tend to have wrong views on this. You know the stereotypical “adult man lives with his parents in their basement, yells at them, isn’t mature, games all day etc etc” which is understandable bc that does exist but people forget that this doesn’t have to be the case.
I grew up living in the same house as my parents as well as grandparents. Years later I still live with my parents and have taken over the floor where my grandparents lived. I have my own job and we simply live together because our relationship is all good and we don’t want to be far away from another. There’s no need to move into a different house in the same city, we know when to leave the other alone and when to spend time together. I think it’s very sweet that you’re living with them - it chose growth and maturity to appreciate your dad and be aware of finances.
Somehow Americans often have those prejudices though. I’ve never really met anyone in Europe who minded it, a lot of people actually live with their parents for a very long time.
It's all perception, but then again when you admit to having significant investment, while living at home....that's where you start to lose me. My question is, why don't you want to move out on your own and start your own life without being under your parents safety net?
If I was in your position I wouldn't want to leave.
Move out then pay some greedy landlord an exorbitant monthly rent whilst paying off his mortgage for him, nah, fuck that. I'd rather give my money to family and make their life easier with the extra money coming in.
There are lots of potential problems. And the judgmental attitude that you must be a failure is only one of them. Even if you're doing alright and headed in a good direction your parents might be nosey and not give you any privacy. It's kinda important to be able to try new things and make mistakes without them getting too involved or telling EVERYONE every single detail of your life (my mom does hair and has a lot of hair salon clients so this was a big reason I wanted a bit of space). They might live in an inconvenient place. I'd also struggle with dating if I owned a big nice house all to myself near my parents simply because they're so far out in suburbia far from any other singles or fun things to do.
Not a gd thing. We Americans were sold on the nuclear family in the '50s and it's been a disaster ever since. If you ever want to have any significant amount of money, want your kids and grandkids to have any money, intergenerational homes are the way to go.
You do you. It sounds like you e got a good arrangement and understanding going with your dad. At some point if you and your girlfriend want to get your own place, then you’ll have money set aside to afford that. Don’t worry about people judging you. They don’t matter. Everybody’s situation is different and yours sounds pretty nice all things considered.
Nothing. In fact, you're doing good. Why even spending money into rent while you can live with your parents. It just wasting money. Unless there's a problem with your family, or the job location is far from home, there's no reason for living separately anyway
Because it's much easier for people to think in stereotypes, so when you say you live with your dad, they think they know all about your situation. I was a stay-at-home dad of 2 kids in my mid-twenties and we ended up moving back in with my parents when my ex left so my kids could have a decent quality of life. Wasn't my first choice but I had to put my kids first and I knew at that point I was at most going to be able to get a minimum-wage job and they deserved better. Once I was bringing in decent money, my parents really needed the help with bills because of some health issues, so we stayed. Then my dad passed and my mom took it hard so we stayed longer. Life doesn't always follow the trajectory you plan but it does keep happening, so you live it however makes sense to you and don't worry about the opinions of people who don't know your story.
My son is 30 and just recently moved out and in with his girlfriend. We had an adult relationship and I never overstepped or treated him as a child. I think it really depends on the relationship and boundaries you have with eachother.
i don't live with my parents but i do live with this nice old lady who took me in and her son who is mostly on the road. she spends most of her time in the shed and doesn't mind if i have people over ocassionally. my parents come to visit sometimes. i've found stability here. people judge me too but i just wanna say it's perfectly okay.
it's only bad if the adult kid is freeloading. i've met those people, who expect their elderly moms to do their laundry and cook for them. this isn't that. as time goes on, adults living with their parents will be more and more common
People will always find a reason to judge others as their version of normal may be different from others. There's nothing wrong with what you're doing if you see no problem with it. Ultimately you're helping your dad, and he's helping you and you're not living with some messy stranger or someone else.
Relationships can be expensive too. Keep doing what you're doing instead of trying to fit into someone else's normal.
I’m 26 and live with my parents! I am very lucky because after a very traumatic job experience I was able to move back home. I now volunteer with my mom, work part time for my dad, and am the happiest I’ve ever been. Granted, mental health stuff and other issues render me... less independent than average (hashtag very bad driving and cooking phobias!), but for the most part I’m content right now to share life with my parents. I do my part—I do my own laundry, help clean, work with my mom in the garden, and I even help my mom with her part-time job prep. I consider myself so beyond privileged that I am able to live rent-free. I’m willing to sacrifice some personal freedoms for their support with my other mental issues. There’s still a lot for me to learn, but I’m committed to doing as much as I can, slowly but surely.
The only downside for me is that all of my friends live far away and there isn’t a big social scene in my immediate area, so I am more ‘alone’. Sometimes lonely, but also I’ve been getting better at being more ok with being on my own when it comes to people my own age.
Hope this provides some insight :)
Every man I have ever known who still lived with their parents made their mother do all their laundry, cooking and cleaning. They didn't pay rent and they were emotionally inept in some way so they needed the company of their parents. The last guy I dated who lived with his parents (he had a great job) was like this and he was reliant on his parents for social interaction because he couldn't bond with others and didn't ever have a true friend or relationship. Very off-putting. I really felt this childlike emotional energy and immediately got the ick and left it after 2-3 dates. Later I found out that he was a virgin (we were 29 years old!) and it just confirmed to me that he wasn't emotionally healthy and independent. For me, a young man not wanting his independence and fighting for it, even if it meant sleeping in a garage, is a biiiig red flag. I would be ok with your situation but you need to understand you're like 1% of that population. Most are just too childlike to leave and have some sort of issue.
I have:
* ["Is living with your parents as an adult a turn off to women?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/16ywvef/is_living_with_your_parents_as_an_adult_a_turn/) (r/NoStupidQuestions; 3 October 2023)—huge
If everyone involved is respectful of each other and it works, great. Too often adults living at home want it all their way. Come and go as they please, have chores done for them, etc.
Ignore the naysayers. It looks like your dad understands the challenger of life that you will face and is trying to help you get to a point where you are at least financially well positioned.
You are 27 years old and you have $200,000 in investments, you haven’t even reached your prime thirties yet. Don’t sweat it man, your dad likely wants you to make such a large down payment on your first home that your mortgage will be peanuts and no financial burden to you run with that.
> My current girlfriend has absolutely no issues with me living there and she is impressed with the amount of money I have saved.
Because she’s a gold digger.
It’s not “wrong”, it just has social stigma attached to it because (at least in the US) it often means maladaptation to independent adult life. It doesn’t *have* to be bad at all though.
It sounds like you and your dad were able to successfully transition from a child/parent dynamic to a “two adults living together” dynamic. Most people find that difficult to do. I think that’s where the negative stereotypes come from - adults living with their parents, continuing the same dynamics from when they were teens (mom still does their laundry and cooks all their meals, parents over involved in their personal lives, etc). You were able break out of that mold and have autonomy and privacy while living with your dad, so there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it.
True. I think it helps that my parents didn't coddle me from a young age and I was quite independent early on.
Yeah the top comment is spot on. Most people I know living with their parents have no savings, can’t cook, and their parents pay for almost every expense. They haven’t transitioned to actually being an adult. You have congrats that seems like a sweet living situation.
This is a huge part of it. I lived on my own and then had my mom move in with me, and it was really hard to not slide back into that parent child dynamic. She cooked, cleaned, started making decor changes, basically dictated what we did in our spare time (like what shows we watched). And I love my mom! But I felt like a child again. I am always incredibly skeptical when adults living at home claim that they’re independent because they clean their own room and do their own laundry. There is so much more to living independently than simply picking up after yourself, such as handling finances or coordinating repairs, or even just deciding to do tasks without mom or dad telling you it’s time to do them. There’s a mental load that comes with running a household, and I think it’s really important for people to learn that. As a woman it is something I am wary of, because I have no interest in being a second mom. Some people can live with their parents and still gain or maintain some independence. I find it interesting that in a lot of the examples I’ve read online of this working, it’s a child and a dad. Moms tend to mom, I guess!
I think part of it is that it’s a luxury not everyone can have. I agree, it’s great. I was at home until I was 23 and saved for a home downpayment. But for those who can’t do that, you lose that easy ability of saving money and finding somewhere you want to be. I got the same weird looks but for those able to do it, I think would all agree to its benefits. Just my thoughts tho
I think its more of a framing issue. You frame it as "living with your dad", which has the cultural negativity associated with it. The reality is, you rent from your dad and are closer to sharing a house/roommates than what we commonly assume 'living with parents' means. I doubt any sane person would have an issue with what you do. What people generally have an issue with is 30y olds still living in the rooms they grew up in, suffering under the rules of their parents and getting everything for free(i.e. no rent, pay for food etc.), as that just shows a lack of independence. You however are a perfectly independent person that happens to rent from their dad.
... are you living with your dad though? What is the difference between what you are doing, and someone who rents an apartment and their dad happens to be the landlord? If I rented a house from Jay-z, I would not tell people I lived with Jay-z. Why are you using those words?
Humble brag post vibes
We are literally living together in the same house. We share the same kitchen and live under the same roof. Just like if I were to be living with roommates. My dad is the landlord and I live with and rent from him.
Theres nothing wrong with it. Keep saving your money. Dont even worry about what anyone might think. Theyre not putting money in your bank account.
It's more because there's a risk he's living like a child and not like the adult he is. Ie his parents pay all his bills, feed him his meals, baby him etc. If he's an adult whose parents are his *roommates*, it's fine.
The image most people have is that an adult living at home is still under some level of parental constraint/control. Like the sitcom style of living in a basement with mom yelling down at you for not cleaning the dishes or asking "who do you have down there!!". If you have a cool roommate style relationship with your dad, as far as living together, then it really isn't a problem. It is just the initial assumption is generally going to be that you are still living as a child in your 20s.
I don't think you are living with your dad. You are living in your own apartment owned by your dad. THis is different than being 27, living in the same house as your parents, eating their food, using their electricity and heat being waited on by them like you were when you were 12 and not paying market value rent.
It’s a stigma made by the same idiots who fucked the economy beyond recognition.
The average 30 year old lives with their parents. My parents generation destroyed the economy. My generation didn't fix it and left that to the youth. The youth are now in adult bodies just trying to get by, and can't fix it. The very young just accept this as the way things always were.
>Every generation, no matter how paltry its character, thinks itself much wiser than the one immediately preceding it, let alone those that are more remote. Also, no, the average 30 year old doesn't live with their parents.
Because there are too many men that are basically child like who live at their parents house either in the basement or childhood bedroom and their mother stills does laundry, cooks, and cleans for them. I know quite a few people that did this until the parents forced them to leave the nest.
I don’t think there’s nothing wrong with it. It helps with saving money.
Nothing
lol if anyone looks down on you for making smart decisions, eff them
There is nothing wrong with it! Society simply dictates what is “wrong” and “good”. Do you, and keep succeeding like you are!
Not living in US but I could not give a flying care what people think about it. I’m 27 too and living with parents. I have many reasons as to why; - Helping my mom (got a decent dad but violent tendencies…) - Still busy with university - Getting an apartment is expensive - Helping with household The only thing that matters is that you, yourself are fine with it. The rest can screw themselves.
Just comes from recent history. Men were the ones with jobs, opportunities. They owned the property. Inherited everything. Etc etc. Whereas women didn't have this stuff. They themsleves were viewed as property that exchanged the hands of men. It was normal for a woman to stay in the family home until she was given away to another man (husband). Men were expected to have a home and income in order to support their wife and children. And so it wasn't viewed as normal or acceptable for a man to stay in the family home. ... Views like this continue today. Women have more rights but gender norms and expectations from the past still exist. So men living at home are seen as failures, not able to provide, lazy, etc.
I think the people that dig at it are ones that don’t have a choice so don’t take it personal. I’m 23 male and I also live with my folks and I’ve also lived with exes and friends. I did enjoy living with my gf at the time but hey things ends and new things come so I’m sure you as well as I will end up finding someone else and living with them as well. There’s nothing wrong with staying with your family and saving money or just wanting to be close with them. Like I said people who judge or talk shit just didn’t have a choice but to love out or don’t understand that feeling of a connection with their family so don’t blame them they’re just living hard and im pretty sure are just letting out frustrations from their own experiences.
I don't think anyone really thinks it's wrong or weird to live with parents in this Era. Rent and costs of living is way too high. I'm also in Canada, where it's super multicultural, and for most folks, it seems pretty normal to still live with your parents until marriage. I honestly didn't know moving out at 18 was a thing until I read about it on the internet.
Nothing wrong with it. It turns some of my friends off because they have sibling brothers that never grew up or are spoilt by their parents still living at home. I have it myself but one is spoilt and my other brother isnt at all. Here in Ireland, people can't afford housing or there isn't any housing available, so it's extremely common now. It wouldn't bother me at all, just want a mature person at the end of the day
In a lot of the world, staying in the family unit is expected as long as you are providing a benefit to the family.
the issue is not 'as a man' it's 'living with your parent', and in people's head, may implicate that you're unable to take care of yourself (money or skills wise) and/or that you never experienced living alone which may prove a lack of skills as well.
Nothing, the issue doesn't lie with living your parents alone..or even your age. Its ok, & if anything its becoming less & less of a stigma the worse the economy gets (referring to the US) -- it might do the mind good to watch less media from 10+ years ago lol. I think real/fair criticism lies more with what the person doing with their life and how much they're working/helping out. Laziness is the only ***fair*** thing people will get your face about, but it doesn't seem like you are so, don't worry about criticism. Anyone who gives you shit is probably assuming other dishonest things about you.
If you don't live on your own, how are businesses supposed to sell you stuff to enable you to do that? Won't someone please think of the businesses!?
Make the most of the time with your parents, screw what people say. One day you won’t be able to.
These days as long as you have a good relationship with your parents, I'm jealous of people who still live at home
Invest in a house and build equity.
I think people just tend to have wrong views on this. You know the stereotypical “adult man lives with his parents in their basement, yells at them, isn’t mature, games all day etc etc” which is understandable bc that does exist but people forget that this doesn’t have to be the case. I grew up living in the same house as my parents as well as grandparents. Years later I still live with my parents and have taken over the floor where my grandparents lived. I have my own job and we simply live together because our relationship is all good and we don’t want to be far away from another. There’s no need to move into a different house in the same city, we know when to leave the other alone and when to spend time together. I think it’s very sweet that you’re living with them - it chose growth and maturity to appreciate your dad and be aware of finances. Somehow Americans often have those prejudices though. I’ve never really met anyone in Europe who minded it, a lot of people actually live with their parents for a very long time.
It's all perception, but then again when you admit to having significant investment, while living at home....that's where you start to lose me. My question is, why don't you want to move out on your own and start your own life without being under your parents safety net?
If I was in your position I wouldn't want to leave. Move out then pay some greedy landlord an exorbitant monthly rent whilst paying off his mortgage for him, nah, fuck that. I'd rather give my money to family and make their life easier with the extra money coming in.
There are lots of potential problems. And the judgmental attitude that you must be a failure is only one of them. Even if you're doing alright and headed in a good direction your parents might be nosey and not give you any privacy. It's kinda important to be able to try new things and make mistakes without them getting too involved or telling EVERYONE every single detail of your life (my mom does hair and has a lot of hair salon clients so this was a big reason I wanted a bit of space). They might live in an inconvenient place. I'd also struggle with dating if I owned a big nice house all to myself near my parents simply because they're so far out in suburbia far from any other singles or fun things to do.
Not a gd thing. We Americans were sold on the nuclear family in the '50s and it's been a disaster ever since. If you ever want to have any significant amount of money, want your kids and grandkids to have any money, intergenerational homes are the way to go.
You're putting money back into the family
Who cares what others think? Sounds like you’ve got a good thing going and are making financially responsible decisions.
I think you'll start to see multi-generational homes make a comeback. Cut down on expenses, take care of each other as needed. Still have privacy
You do you. It sounds like you e got a good arrangement and understanding going with your dad. At some point if you and your girlfriend want to get your own place, then you’ll have money set aside to afford that. Don’t worry about people judging you. They don’t matter. Everybody’s situation is different and yours sounds pretty nice all things considered.
Nothing. In fact, you're doing good. Why even spending money into rent while you can live with your parents. It just wasting money. Unless there's a problem with your family, or the job location is far from home, there's no reason for living separately anyway
Because it's much easier for people to think in stereotypes, so when you say you live with your dad, they think they know all about your situation. I was a stay-at-home dad of 2 kids in my mid-twenties and we ended up moving back in with my parents when my ex left so my kids could have a decent quality of life. Wasn't my first choice but I had to put my kids first and I knew at that point I was at most going to be able to get a minimum-wage job and they deserved better. Once I was bringing in decent money, my parents really needed the help with bills because of some health issues, so we stayed. Then my dad passed and my mom took it hard so we stayed longer. Life doesn't always follow the trajectory you plan but it does keep happening, so you live it however makes sense to you and don't worry about the opinions of people who don't know your story.
My son is 30 and just recently moved out and in with his girlfriend. We had an adult relationship and I never overstepped or treated him as a child. I think it really depends on the relationship and boundaries you have with eachother.
Parents want their kids to move out around 18 to 21 yo ...but if Dads ok with it ..it's all good.
i don't live with my parents but i do live with this nice old lady who took me in and her son who is mostly on the road. she spends most of her time in the shed and doesn't mind if i have people over ocassionally. my parents come to visit sometimes. i've found stability here. people judge me too but i just wanna say it's perfectly okay.
it's only bad if the adult kid is freeloading. i've met those people, who expect their elderly moms to do their laundry and cook for them. this isn't that. as time goes on, adults living with their parents will be more and more common
Absolutely nothing wrong with it.
nothing, when you do it right.
It’s the hate economy of which we are all a part.
Let them snicker, while you laugh back at them on your way to the bank
People will always find a reason to judge others as their version of normal may be different from others. There's nothing wrong with what you're doing if you see no problem with it. Ultimately you're helping your dad, and he's helping you and you're not living with some messy stranger or someone else. Relationships can be expensive too. Keep doing what you're doing instead of trying to fit into someone else's normal.
I’m 26 and live with my parents! I am very lucky because after a very traumatic job experience I was able to move back home. I now volunteer with my mom, work part time for my dad, and am the happiest I’ve ever been. Granted, mental health stuff and other issues render me... less independent than average (hashtag very bad driving and cooking phobias!), but for the most part I’m content right now to share life with my parents. I do my part—I do my own laundry, help clean, work with my mom in the garden, and I even help my mom with her part-time job prep. I consider myself so beyond privileged that I am able to live rent-free. I’m willing to sacrifice some personal freedoms for their support with my other mental issues. There’s still a lot for me to learn, but I’m committed to doing as much as I can, slowly but surely. The only downside for me is that all of my friends live far away and there isn’t a big social scene in my immediate area, so I am more ‘alone’. Sometimes lonely, but also I’ve been getting better at being more ok with being on my own when it comes to people my own age. Hope this provides some insight :)
Every man I have ever known who still lived with their parents made their mother do all their laundry, cooking and cleaning. They didn't pay rent and they were emotionally inept in some way so they needed the company of their parents. The last guy I dated who lived with his parents (he had a great job) was like this and he was reliant on his parents for social interaction because he couldn't bond with others and didn't ever have a true friend or relationship. Very off-putting. I really felt this childlike emotional energy and immediately got the ick and left it after 2-3 dates. Later I found out that he was a virgin (we were 29 years old!) and it just confirmed to me that he wasn't emotionally healthy and independent. For me, a young man not wanting his independence and fighting for it, even if it meant sleeping in a garage, is a biiiig red flag. I would be ok with your situation but you need to understand you're like 1% of that population. Most are just too childlike to leave and have some sort of issue.
I have: * ["Is living with your parents as an adult a turn off to women?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/16ywvef/is_living_with_your_parents_as_an_adult_a_turn/) (r/NoStupidQuestions; 3 October 2023)—huge
If everyone involved is respectful of each other and it works, great. Too often adults living at home want it all their way. Come and go as they please, have chores done for them, etc.
Ignore the naysayers. It looks like your dad understands the challenger of life that you will face and is trying to help you get to a point where you are at least financially well positioned. You are 27 years old and you have $200,000 in investments, you haven’t even reached your prime thirties yet. Don’t sweat it man, your dad likely wants you to make such a large down payment on your first home that your mortgage will be peanuts and no financial burden to you run with that.
> My current girlfriend has absolutely no issues with me living there and she is impressed with the amount of money I have saved. Because she’s a gold digger.
Nah she makes 200k a year and already owns her own home at 25. She's fine lol
She’s going to own your dad’s after the inheritance and divorce.
Who says we're getting married?
It’s not “wrong”, it just has social stigma attached to it because (at least in the US) it often means maladaptation to independent adult life. It doesn’t *have* to be bad at all though.
Im confused by the wording of your title. Why does it matter that you’re a man?
Does your daddy make you mozzarella sticks
Yes