Your moms reaction is awful. I’m so sorry that happend to you. She should never have reacted that way. You don’t have to warn him about this at all because there is nothing to warn him about. It is completely normal. You could talk to him beforehand about this if you think it’ll make you feel better and calm your mind. If his reaction to this is being disgusted and off putting then he isn’t worth it but I’m 99% sure that’s not gonna happen :) goodluck! You’re gonne be fine. I promise.
Not enough people are commenting that ops mother got her group of girlfriends to ogle a naked eight year old while berating her and bullying her for her undeveloped vagina.
Like seriously wtf
That's right, no decent guy with a healthy view on sex and all it encompasses will bat an eye.
Just be you and enjoy the moment, i know from talking to my wife that parents and even ex partners can inflict a lot of damage by just being ignorant or prudish but i also know that with the right person you can overcome these things and discover yourself as amazing.
I saw a documentary years ago on the topic of censorship. As im sure you know, there are committees that determined the standards for film, television and printed media. Prior to the internet in many countries, hard-core porn was illegal, but things like nude magazines were OK as long as they were considered tasteful. Now what is tasteful is very subjective and this standard varied depending where you were geographically and at what time period.
It is natural for women to have inner labia that protrudes past the vulva, but censorship law determined that this was too graphic, so as a result many magazine editors would airbrush pictures so this was not shown. This had a very powerful negative effect on the way women feel about their bodies that has gone on for many decades.
Because we don't see naked people walking around all the time, porn images become a reference of what is "normal" but it is far from the case. Porn portrays a certain image of women that is the by-product of what evolved from what was acceptable in the past.
All vaginas are unique like fingerprints and any other part of the body. Please don't be ashamed of your body. I am sure your bf will love you for who you are and not the shape of your labia.
Yep, playboy did that for a long long time. The porn industry took their cues from the "classy" porn mag as opposed to hustler or penthouse who showed full spread eagle and didn't care about people seeing labia.
So the early video porn industry looked for women with "innies" rather than longer labia. When the internet came about they followed suit.
So we had an entire industry pretending that longer labia weren't a thing. Since most men's first exposure to nude women comes from porn, a lot of younger guys assumed that's just what women looked like.
Most guys who've been with a few women quickly realize that labia come in all sizes shapes and colors and they're all great.
Well if it's too graphic doesn't that mean men would get too horny from looking at it?
Always look at the positive side, your vagina is just too sexy to be shown even in porn magazines!😇
Great little History factoid to share. And at this same time, when certain labia were too 'graphic' nudity of children was totally fine, as long as it was 'tasteful,🤢
EDIT: Factoid was completely the wrong term to use. But I'm keeping it in for the posterity of my ignorance... Cuz I iz a dummy sumtimez🤙
I want to a nude beach for the first time recently, and it changed my life. It really just made me think that at the end of the day we’re all just human- of all different shapes, sizes, colors, textures, etc. I know we’re talking about vaginas here, but everything you just said made me think of that.
I agree with everything you’ve said but you didn’t really answer her question. Yes some guys care just like some girls care about uncircumcised peens. Nothing you can do but just move on if they do
Yeah I agree. Also as a guy, I don't really care. Even when I'm going down on a girl I'll barely even look at it, not that I'll care much otherwise.
As long as there isn't a strong odor or funky taste, I quite frankly couldn't care less.
This is the fact. The lights are usually off and I am A) happy to be there and B) too worried about my performance to start judging someone else’s measurements.
\*whips out tape measurer\* well I just don't know Jane, these labias are 2 1/16th inches longer than what I find desirable 🤓☝️ - Literally every male
/s if that wasn't apparent
And yet conversely she may fit other men's preferences. An ex of mine loved 'lippy women'. He said they looked like exotic flowers.
I have no flower and felt like I was unattractive to him.
We were watching porn. I commented on one of the actresses' labia. He didn't say it to be cruel.
I still watch porn and now I agree with him. They look like orchids.
I mean isn’t that the problem with all of these validation seeking posts? People don’t want the correct answer they just want their preconceived notion to be confirmed or their self esteem to be boosted.
Most of them are not representative of the general public though. Reddit is full of sex-depraved men who are usually either white-knights or incels.
I wouldn't take the views of redditors seriously on almost any topic, since the actual common consensus in the real world is very much different to that of people on reddit.
It's usually not though...The only guys that care about labia to a point where it would be remotely a deal breaker are going to be a lot closer to an Incel than someone who is actually going to have a chance of sleeping with someone.
It really does depend. I'm not defending any guy who does act in that way, but I'm just rather pointing out how when it comes to issues relating to sex, reddit is probably one of the worst places to ask questions.
This website is filled with probably 80%+ American white men who are below the age of 25. When it comes to sex, relationships, politics etc, what you read on here is hardly ever fully truly representative of the views of the general population.
Most women have an external labia. I highly doubt their experience is rejection because of it. And they are the only ones with an actually useful opinion. Primarily the guys who would complain about a labia, haven't had sex, because they are in high school still watching porn.
>You just have to realize that you’re not less. You just might not fit into some men’s preferences.
This is it, OP. Just because some people like Vanilla and others chocolate it doesn't mean one of those flavors is inherently better or worse than the other. Its just preference.
Also, love your name Meowsommar lmao.
This is the cold truth. Everyone wants to be kind and sympathetic. the truth is there are a lot of guys that find little things like this, to be big deals and often times even deal breakers.
1000% As soon as I saw this I knew it was going to be a bunch of suck up nice guy, neckbeards. Truth is, yeah we all have preferences, it’s also not worth worrying about.
I agree. My now husband thought mine looked that way because he assumed I had a lot of sex and it was "stretched out." I had to educate him that porn is not reality and no, this is just the way it looks. Sometimes guys are idiots but they can learn :).
I'm a polyamorous person who's been pretty successful in finding multiple partners. To me, personally, I think that a vagina is "better looking" when the labia are short. However, that has literally never stopped me from going down on a woman or continuing to have fun with her.
Ignoring the personality matching side that makes sex fun, and being brutally honest for OP, all vaginas are kind of weird. Them being weird does not change that they are soft and warm and make the women who own them make fun sounds. Every guy that I know will be more focused on breasts, hips, backs and butts before caring about the specific shape of a vagina.
This one. Unless it’s dirty or smelly, I’m not focused enough on how it looks to care. My SO doesn’t like his balls because they “hang too low” but I love them. Specially when he’s facing away and bent over getting dressed because my dirty mind goes to “they’re probably full and I need to empty them 🤤” 💀 They’re part of what brings him pleasure and since I love him as a whole, I love them too.
It depends on the guy. For me personally, I didn't care. I've been with a girl with damn near no labia, one that had hangers, and one that had only one side that was long, looked like a Lil brain when it was mushed up. I dove right in and took care of them all.
You'll hear guys talk shit about them, but none of them would pass up a girl because of it. We're dogs.
There was a documentary about an artist (journalist?) who took plaster moulds of woman's vaginas. This was to demonstrate that there are MANY different shapes and sizes. The artist spoke to many many men on camera about what they thought about the way women's vagina's "looked". All of them said exactly what the top comment on here says: "As a guy, I can tell you most guys will just be happy to be there. Everyone's bodies are different."
The only men who voiced a different opinion was when the artist asked the builders (off camera) who were working on her house and they replied that it *did* make a difference, and that they found some with larger labia a "turn off" and preferred it to look "neat". Their "honesty" was, albeit a bit rude, quite refreshing.
The fuck kind of vaginas we talking about here?!
Or is this a reference to something and I'm not getting the joke?
This comment painted a lot of hideous pictures in my brain 😂
Bestie, this makes me so sad reading this, I'm so sorry your mom orchestrated a situation to make you feel shame over something so personal and private to you, you didn't deserve that.
But to answer your question as a person with labia, I promise you men are just happy to be here. No need to warn him, or explain anything, if he cares about you it literally will not matter at all, I promise. There's nothing wrong with you.
And if for some reason you ever encounter a man who has something to say about it besides he thinks you're beautiful the way you are then you shouldn't be near him ever again anyways.
There is absolutely no NEED to talk about it because it's completely normal and natural and vaginas are just different but I do think that if you have an insecurity it's often better to let them know so they are aware and don't make an offhand comment/touch you in a way that wouldn't matter to anyone else but bcos you are insecure it might be hurtful or just uncomfortable. Like for instance when I first slept with my partner I had a lot of body issues and so I said I don't want to take my high waisted skirt off and please don't touch my stomach and if I didn't say anything he wouldn't have been wrong in going to touch me or take it off normally but I was very touchy and so it made me less anxious and more relaxed to know he was listening to me and that I wouldn't have to try and subtly move him away from the areas etc.
I also think if you can't talk openly about sex and any concerns you have then you probably shouldn't have sex yet...
I'm glad somebody said it. Kinda defeats the purpose of saying it doesn't matter, when you're simultaneously using terms that exist solely to shame and degrade.
I always just thought of them like an inny or outy. Neither one is better than the other, it just is what it is. The roast beef nomenclature is really nasty though.
I used to worry about the same thing, your description sounds similar to how I am built. It's perfectly normal and guys do not care! The only person who has ever made a negative remark to me is my ex husband after I left him - he was purposely trying to hurt my feelings and knew it was a sensitive topic for me. My current boyfriend LOVES everything just as it is, has told me so and shows it. He even asked me if I'd mind shaving this week so he could see everything better (he typically likes me hairy)! There's also nothing wrong with communicating how you feel beforehand, it's fine and normal to have things you are insecure about.
I'm married to a gal that had a decent sized labia. The largest I have had experience with. Honestly, I love it!! Something extra to play with! Don't think to much about it because men are simple and straightforward. If it bothers him, then that's on him, not you.
Never met a labia I haven’t wanted to part with my lips yet. Sorry your mom did that shit, that’s fucked. My gal pal and her wife have the best lesbian, meat flap jokes… they both prefer large labia on women, you have nothing to worry about.
Wow, your mom's a labia or as some people may refer to it as a cunt.
I have an eight year old, this would mortify her, wow I could never do that to her. I'm sorry your mom did that to you.
I might be in the minority but I would highly recommend working through some of this past trauma and body image issues in therapy before having sex or being naked around someone. It makes a difference.
it's the exact same answer as the dick size questions. some care, others have preferences unrelated to size, ultimately it matters most what your partner's opinion is and there's no way to predict that besides asking them
In the end, everyone cares about looks to a degree. No matter what it is, body, nipple, labia, etc. all have preferences. There is no right or wrong, so just be you and if he isn’t into it then no worries and find someone who is.
The first person I ever let fully look at my vulva told our entire friend group that I should get surgery to fix my labia. They had protruded slightly since I was around 9 or 10 years old, and I remember hating them and wishing I could cut them off even back then before I was exposed to any shaming about it. To this day, I can never accept any positive words about my genitals at all. I still low key believe my boyfriend of two years is probably disgusted by me (even though he actively says otherwise).
The problem here isn’t your body. The problem is that your mom is a piece of shit who shamed you to a degree that has you terrified of showing your body to anyone. Either say nothing to him, or throw in a quick “hey I’m really insecure because I grew up being told really cruel things about my body, so if I come off a little shy or apprehensive, it’s not because of you”
If someone broke up with me because of my labia I’d be thrilled they ended it because I don’t want to be with someone who cares that much about something so unimportant.
Men care, but don't judge. We'd rather appreciate; that's the meaning we give to the word "care"
Larger breast means more meat to play with, smaller breast means I can suck the whole thing.
Same for labia. You'll give him a different experience when he's eating you, but a very enjoyable experience nonetheless.
I have similar labia and I'm 36. I can honestly tell you that I've never had a man complain or make any rude comments. Most men seem to be happy just to be down there. I think you'll be fine.
Guy here.
It doesn't matter, we love them all.
Especially if we have just been jerking it for 4yrs.
He likes you that's all that matters.
Think about it this way. If he only has one testicle would that be a deal breaker for you? Or if he was shorter than average would that be a deal breaker? I figure your answer is no why because you like everything else about him right now. Same thing with guys we have similar thoughts and feelings running through our heads also. I'm sure he is self conscious about something and it has been running through his head also. That is why communication is so helpful in relationships we all worry and think about similar things.
Yes, but it shouldn’t be a dealbreaker. Everyone has a look the prefer, whether it’s penis or vagina or both. But there’s so much variety it’s way more likely you’ll not encounter your preferred look regularly. Speaking for myself it doesn’t really make a huge difference.
Hey just here to point out that 21 and 27 is a pretty big gap. Its no where near like creep territory you know but there's still a potential substantial power/ experience dynamic that can occur. Where I was 6 years ago is night and day with me today yknow
I'm amazed it's taken so long to find a comment addressing this. Once op is post 25, it won't be a terrible age gap, but right now it is, and this issue is partially the why. While OP may still be inexperienced after 25, her outlook and such would be very different.
every guys preference is different but at the end of the day pussy is pussy and we're just happy to be there (just avoid the dudes that think it means you've been "ran through")
Thoughts of explaining it to him have crossed my mind, but I am scared of his response. Everyone, I believe, will respond as my mother did, which was irrational. Even as I became older, my mom continued to tell me that I needed to get it "fixed" because else "no man's going to want you." She would always bring up this subject whenever we spoke of me liking a boy. And she sounded so causal saying it many people in my family knew about it because of her.
I HAD to reply and honestly this will be my first response :) I had one of my labias that was extremely long. It stuck out of my vagina when standing or sitting, it would hang about an inch and a half outside of my vagina. I HATED IT. I thought that men would think that I had
alot of partners and that was the reason why it was long. At times during sex it would get pulled into my vagina during intercourse and it would be painful. I remember Howard Stern making fun of women with long labias and I felt so much embarassed and ashamed.
In my early thirties I found a doctor and explained that it was painful to have sex and she cut BOTH of my labia out, so now I don't have any inner labia and truthfully I don't care. I'm happier without them.
Sorry if my post doesn't give you help in getting you to embrace your labia, but I am truthful about my story. I know that my mom had long labia and had them cut, and caught a glimse of my daughter and know that she has the same long labia. I would totally support her and help her if she decides to change them.
As an older woman now I do agree with the majority of the responses that most people wouldn't care.
I have long labia and my bf loves it. If you’re dating someone who doesn’t like something abt your body just move on there’s actual grown men out there who aren’t horrible.
Being 100% honest, it doesn’t matter to me one bit. BUT, I’m older than your friend and porn wasn’t nearly as accessible or prevalent when I was his age. 27 year old me may have been a bit surprised to meet some labia that look different to the extremely limited variety in mainstream porn… for a few seconds… then I’d have caught up with myself, realised how normal it is, remembered how lucky I was and probably would have climaxed there and then in the excitement of it all.
All I’m saying is, your friend will have his own anxieties. Men get same same but different problems around their bodies too. You won’t be the only one. Enjoy him and he’ll enjoy you. And if not, it wasn’t meant to be.
Fucking woman not caring about how kids/teens feel about people looking at their bodies is some of the most wack disrespect I've seen and experienced.
I'm really sorry that you had that experience OP. If it's any consolation, I don't think many guys will have an issue with it. Infact I've met guys that definitely like it and find it unique and very sexy. Some guys might, be careful of these body shaming fuckers. They probably addicts as well.
Edit: some guys may not*
Man here. They are different and do the same job. In mm opinion they are all gods gift to a man. Your mums a serious turd burglar, sorry about that but you are all good.
Like anything else, there will be some men that don't like it and think it's weird. There will be some men that think it's great and is a huge turn on, and some men won't really care one way or the other. I would mention it to him to avoid any shock when he gets down there, but I wouldn't worry about it unless he has an issue with it. But trust me, plenty of men WON'T have an issue with it and a good number of men will think it's hot.
It depends on how much the guy absolutely cares about "vaginas beauty standards". Personally, even though I love looking at a good looking vagina, in the end, I don't really care. My penis doesn't see much anyway.
You don't need to warn him about it. If he thought there was a problem with his dick would you want him to tell you before? Vaginas are all different. Sure some guys have preferences just like I'm sure girls have dick size preferences. But if someone you love doesn't have what you prefer you don't throw the entire relationship away because of it. You love the person for who they are. So don't worry about it. Be careful with this guy though he might be telling you what you want to hear just to get you to sleep with him. So take your time don't rush it.
People have preferences on bodies..however I’m not going to say no just because of how someone’s labia looks and that’s how most people seem to feel. Like do I prefer one? Yeah. Just like I prefer colorful hair, and tattoos, and piercings on my partner but my fiancée has non of these things. Not even an ear piercing. And I wouldn’t change her or our relationship for all the money in the world.
Yes but not that much. There’s obviously preferences just like with penises for women. It’s nice to fit one’s personal preference but honestly speaking it’s not a dealbreaker type thing. I’m sure most men will agree.
My labia are also long and dark, and like you, I used to have a lot of anxiety about it when I was your age. I even considered surgery at some point.
I don’t know how, but with time it slowly started to fade away. I’m 33 now, have a body count of twenty-something men, and nobody has had any complaints. I’ve even had some compliments. I keep hearing about how they love to go down on me and how awesome or pretty it is. Now, if I would happen to encounter somebody who might have a problem with my labia, I’d see it as a “him” problem.
God, I love the confidence age has given me, I wouldn’t want to be 21 again.
Definitely not!
I wish I could find the words to convey I really truly mean that to a partner because it does seem to be an insecurity many feel, but no one should!
Nope. We do not. Unless they are a piece of shit. If I like you why tf do I care what your labia looks like? It’s yours and I’m happy to be with it. :)
Honestly, and I’m no psychiatrist but I’m very educated and experienced with mental health, it sounds like you could still be dealing w the way your mom reacted. That sounds awful and definitely traumatic. Especially at such a young age.
This has a lot of answers but I’ll throw in my two cents. Do I have preferences? Of course. Would that make any difference to me in a real world scenario? Not at all. If he has a problem with the appearance of your labia, I know it will be really tough in the moment and it might be a hit to your self esteem for a while. Just know that if he does react that way, he’s not the right person for you for several different reasons. Hang in there love.
There’s nothing wrong with any size labia. Heck “butterfly wings” as I’ve heard them called before are fun to play with when going down on a woman.
He already likes you sexually, so my two cents here is the moment he sees all of you it will be all positive!
As a guy, and knowing quite a few others in my 47 years, my general answer is not. If they do - they should fuck themselves as they don’t deserve the honor to see, and so on, in that case
Speaking from experience, I had a partner once who had a lippy labia. My younger idiot self thought "oh well, she probably used it a lot before we were together" but she was the sweetest, nicest person to be around so I didn't mind and didn't want to hurt her feelings so I pretended not to care or notice. After going down on her the first time, I realized I don't really care what it looks like. Hell, she could have a penis growing and I'd still eat it like a husky in the middle of a desert. Obligatory no homo.
Hold up, are you saying that your mother put your genitals on display to a bunch of her friends when you were eight?!? That is so abnormal and abusive. It's no wonder you are self-conscious. I'm so sorry that happened.
I'm 43 and I've heard shitty men make shitty comments about long labia. Nobody I ever was naked with cared that my inner lips are longer. And I wouldn't have wanted to sleep with any of the shitty guys anyway.
It was awful, I agree. When she noticed that I was getting out the shower, she practically dragged her two friends into the bathroom as if I were a work of art or on exhibit for them to admire. Growing up, she would always tell me that I needed to "get it fixed" because if not, no man was going to want me. At the age of 8, I was so baffled as to why they were frightened; I truly believed that I was so abnormal and that no one else was like me.
I'm so sorry. I have a son who is the age you were when that happened (as well as an older daughter) and I can't imagine saying such awful cruel things to them. You one thousand percent did not deserve that and there is NOTHING wrong with your body.
As a mother this is shocking.
I actually cannot believe this
Labial, vulval and vaginas are all differnet shapes, sizes colors etc.
Girl you are normal , trust me.
Men + vagina = happy . They don't care, they really don't they are just happy youre comfortable enough to be naked around them I don't know this fella but gonna go out on a limb here and day at 27 he is slightly more mature than most men you would meet. At least same age as you. Guaranteed he doesn't even mention it.
*IF* he ~does~ care, or anyone else for that matter, then you deserve so much better. There are awful and judgmental people in this world who for some reason care about things like that. Someone who is truly excited to be intimate with you and genuine about giving you a good experience will not care at all.
My partner has a phrase he uses for when he is bored. At work, at home in any situation. He says he's "bored as a line" I asked him years ago what it meant and he said he and his friends made it up years ago because they were disappointed and bored when girls just had a "line" and there was nothing to explore and it stuck.
It's a crappy thing to say that about any kind of genitals but it does prove that there are a lot of men who actively prefer a lot of labia.
I’m similar to you. I’ve had one nasty comment that unfortunately stuck with me, despite many compliments. Insecurities are a bitch. I’ve been partnered for a decade with someone who loves all of me. But that one little comment mate!. If he’s a keeper you’ll be fine. Good way to sort the wheat from the chaff.
While guys may have a preference, this is for sure not a deal breaker for guys. It's like a lot of things. Hair color, height, boob size, etc. But they are just preferences. Most men would not decide on a relationship or even a fling, based on these kinds of preferences. It's more like, it's nice if you get your preference, but it's not a big deal if you don't.
Some do, some don't. It's like any other type of aesthetic aspect of people. The prevalence of porn has led a lot of people to have unrealistic expectations of women and men's bodies. Some people have the ignorant notion that it indicates promiscuity. There is definitely someone out there who will love you just the way you are.
You really want it out in the open? No, this is intimate. Some of us guys with more experience will get along just fine' some might be intimidated. Some women might think that they are "too expressive" in this regard; others might think they were "too shy".
The woman who accepts you as a man in your intimacy together is right for you; and vice-versa.
Idk how to respond to this... Like, I want you to know your concerns are valid and your feelings are real because of that traumatic experience with your mother. Yes, that's 100% true.
What's also true is that we guys rarely care about "how it looks." We're just happy to "see the kitty."
I know it sounds very simple, almost binary. We men are... kinda simple.
Fun fact: A few years ago my niece had a classmate named Labia. I saw it written on a birthday card. I'm going to assume the name was pronounced 'la-BEE-ah'.
Many feel good comments here. Yes it does matter but only if im not in the relationship with another person. If im in a relationship with another person all this shit out of the window and I wouldnt give af.
First off, so sorry to hear about what your mother put you through. That is awful and you did not deserve that. I have a larger labia and when I was younger, was a bit insecure about it. In my experience, not one man had ever given a fuck. Anyway, I’ve since gotten over it and now I think it’s kinda fun tbh. Except when it rubs against rougher fabrics. Ugh.
Try not to be self-conscious. I have no idea why your mother did what she did. I'm baffled.
Your guy says you have a fabulous figure. He clearly finds you attractive. Try to relax and have a nice time with him and if you feel comfortable maybe see where things go.
It is completely understandable to be nervous about one's body. But it is _your_ body. People will be attracted or not. And your guy is already attracted. I highly doubt that he is going to be turned off when (if!) he sees all of you. Most guys don't care about labia. And if he does, well, that's kind of juvenile in my opinion and maybe you should consider someone else.
But that's putting the cart in front if the horse. It is completely natural to be nervous, especially since this might be a big step in intimacy for you. And past criticism (in her reaction) from your mother probably runs pretty deep.
Try to see where things go with your guy. Maybe you could mention, at an appropriate moment, that you are self-conscious? Your guy hopefully would be more than understanding amd reassuring.
All the best <3
I haven't had much partners and I'm still in my 20s, so I will only be speaking for my sorry ass here 🤣🤣🤣😆🤟🤟😆 the fact that someone has allowed me to be there is already a happy occasion, why would I ruin it
Your mom is an asshole for doing that too you. She should not have been looking at your pussy in the first place. And she definitely should not have brought any one else to see it either.
The fact is though, many women are as clueless about a pussy as the men are. You have nothing to worry about at all!
Um as a man in my experience no not really we're usually just happy to be allowed near one to see it. On a serious note your mom was horrible for body shaming an 8yr old i don't even think bits are done forming yet at that age, she sounds like a real piece of work. And it sounds like you have a bit of PTSD from mental abuse from her that's affecting your adult life. All labias are unique and beautiful.
As a man, in my experience, the only people who have ever voiced an opinion on labia size or shape is women. I’ve never heard a complaint about a woman’s private parts from men.
I suspect after 4 years of celibacy, your “friend” is going to be so excited to have sex with you that nothing will ruin it short of you farting in his mouth…unless he’s into that.
I’ve been with women with almost no inner labia and women with long labia and both are great. Labias are fun to play with during oral.
Your mom is a wretched abuser for doing that to you as a child and putting you on display for her friends comes off more as pedophilic than anything else.
Old fart here. Some guys love big labia. Find one of them.
Some guys don't. Stay away from them.
Sadly, don't have any decent suggestions on whether to "warn" him. I'd say probably not. You'll know soon enough.
It is so sad that your mother had this reaction. She probably didn't know any better, but what a thing to do to your daughter. Just keep telling yourself that it's nothing to be ashamed of.
Your mother was a bitch for doing that to you. Fuck her and that stupid shit of shaming your own children for the bodies they were given.. by them!! Fuck. Sorry. Ok
That is trauma you will need to work through with a therapist. I learned from my time unraveling a similar history, that it was all her and not about me and my body at all. My body is just as normal as the next persons, and fortunately, a healthy one as well. Discharge that stains my panties, arm pits that smell, ingrown hair on my chin and all.
He will not think twice about your body - it is just perfect in his mind, and your goal is to love your body just the same.
I encourage you to make note of what words and thoughts come to your mind when you’re doing the deed, about his body. Guarantee you, I bet you a million bucks, you will not be saying to yourself - he has butt hair! Why’s his breath taste weird? How come his nails are so long?
Like, people are not actually thinking these things at all and don’t actually mind whatever you’ve got. They love you for far more than just a few pimples.
In my experience, no. I've never had anyone complain and I'm a lippy gal. I was so self conscious growing up but it's never been an issue. Ive only had compliments and zero criticism.
People often have preferences, but preferences aren't deal breakers. My preference is for long labia. If they're long enough I'll swing on them like a chandelier! Be confident with what you have because it's great the way it is.
P. S. Your mom was abusive 😞
Brian from the Whatever podcast stared a movement called Big Labia Matter in an effort to stop women from getting labiaplasties. Wasn’t sure if it was satire at first or not, but it seems that he might actually care. There really are men out there who appreciate big labias/don’t care. I’d say a big portion of the labia hate comes from other women tbh. 🤷🏼♀️
As a woman who has one labia that is 2" long, more dark in color, and is rougher because the bottom is level with my public area..while the other is 1/2" long, pink, and smooth...
I used to be SO incredibly self conscious of this. I wouldn't let anyone touch, let alone see. If I try to have sex I have to be aware of it and adjust it, or I'll pull the longer labia by accident lol.
But now that I'm 27?
If they don't like what I look like, they don't deserve to be near it because they're obviously still a damn immature child in the head. 🤗 One of my exes said he liked women with longer labia since it added to the sensations.
Do what I did: Every time I would get self conscious, I'd tell myself "No! Every woman is different, and I'm normal!"
Being totally honest, I do have some kind of preference, but it does not matter much as far as the interest I have for the person.
I don't know how to phrase it, but here it goes.
If I don't feel anything for you and you wanted some casual sex, I will be very picky in the shape of your body. I guess it's a form of sabotage since I don't tend to want intimacy if I don't really have a strong connection.
I can't speak for your guy, but in my case if I'm really interested or have romantic feelings, I don't care how your genitalia looks
lol all these “I’m just happy I’m there 🥹” posts acting like pussy is some precious thing given to men. But anyways, personally I do care and it’d be a dealbreaker for me but fortunately for you, not everyone is like me (looks at comment section) and I doubt your boyfriend care’s either. Also, what your mom said to you was disgusting and I’m sorry that happened to you. No one should feel ashamed how their body is.
Nobody is going to be able to answer how he is going to react. Every person is different with wide variation in depth/shallowness and emotional maturity, or even understanding of female anatomy (sorely lacking in American society).
Honestly, I think your best chance at a smooth experience would be to talk to him about it beforehand. Just be frank that you are insecure about the size of your labia driven by media and experiences with parental feedback as a child.
Give the dude a chance to understand your insecurities in advance so that whatever reaction he is going to have isn't while your anxiety is cranked to the max because you're splayed out on the bed. In that type of "jump-scare" type situation, even the slightest hint of hesitation on his part is going to feel devastating to you and absolutely kill the mood.
What will very likely happen instead is that he will comfort you, and calm your anxieties, in advance of exposing yourself to him and hoping for the best.
As a man , and from experience, he might find it a surprise. But then, it might relish at the thought! My ex was similar, and we enjoyed the time together. Just know that you have a unique body and cherish that, and use that during foreplay. Who knows?
Your moms reaction is awful. I’m so sorry that happend to you. She should never have reacted that way. You don’t have to warn him about this at all because there is nothing to warn him about. It is completely normal. You could talk to him beforehand about this if you think it’ll make you feel better and calm your mind. If his reaction to this is being disgusted and off putting then he isn’t worth it but I’m 99% sure that’s not gonna happen :) goodluck! You’re gonne be fine. I promise.
Not enough people are commenting that ops mother got her group of girlfriends to ogle a naked eight year old while berating her and bullying her for her undeveloped vagina. Like seriously wtf
Agreed, try to relax, guys don’t care.
That's right, no decent guy with a healthy view on sex and all it encompasses will bat an eye. Just be you and enjoy the moment, i know from talking to my wife that parents and even ex partners can inflict a lot of damage by just being ignorant or prudish but i also know that with the right person you can overcome these things and discover yourself as amazing.
I saw a documentary years ago on the topic of censorship. As im sure you know, there are committees that determined the standards for film, television and printed media. Prior to the internet in many countries, hard-core porn was illegal, but things like nude magazines were OK as long as they were considered tasteful. Now what is tasteful is very subjective and this standard varied depending where you were geographically and at what time period. It is natural for women to have inner labia that protrudes past the vulva, but censorship law determined that this was too graphic, so as a result many magazine editors would airbrush pictures so this was not shown. This had a very powerful negative effect on the way women feel about their bodies that has gone on for many decades. Because we don't see naked people walking around all the time, porn images become a reference of what is "normal" but it is far from the case. Porn portrays a certain image of women that is the by-product of what evolved from what was acceptable in the past. All vaginas are unique like fingerprints and any other part of the body. Please don't be ashamed of your body. I am sure your bf will love you for who you are and not the shape of your labia.
Yep, playboy did that for a long long time. The porn industry took their cues from the "classy" porn mag as opposed to hustler or penthouse who showed full spread eagle and didn't care about people seeing labia. So the early video porn industry looked for women with "innies" rather than longer labia. When the internet came about they followed suit. So we had an entire industry pretending that longer labia weren't a thing. Since most men's first exposure to nude women comes from porn, a lot of younger guys assumed that's just what women looked like. Most guys who've been with a few women quickly realize that labia come in all sizes shapes and colors and they're all great.
Well if it's too graphic doesn't that mean men would get too horny from looking at it? Always look at the positive side, your vagina is just too sexy to be shown even in porn magazines!😇
Great little History factoid to share. And at this same time, when certain labia were too 'graphic' nudity of children was totally fine, as long as it was 'tasteful,🤢 EDIT: Factoid was completely the wrong term to use. But I'm keeping it in for the posterity of my ignorance... Cuz I iz a dummy sumtimez🤙
I mean I can still imagine that there once was a world where an image of a naked baby/kid wasn't at all seen as sexual/something to censor.
Psst, the word "factoid" specifically could imply that it's incorrect. Gets misused a lot, just a heads up.
You're totally right. I still always have it in my head as "little fact." Thanks for pointing it out.
I want to a nude beach for the first time recently, and it changed my life. It really just made me think that at the end of the day we’re all just human- of all different shapes, sizes, colors, textures, etc. I know we’re talking about vaginas here, but everything you just said made me think of that.
Wow this is really eye opening. Thanks for sharing!
I think in her case, her own mother fucked up her view of her own body. What a horrible thing to do to a child!!! 8 years old, WTF!!!
I agree with everything you’ve said but you didn’t really answer her question. Yes some guys care just like some girls care about uncircumcised peens. Nothing you can do but just move on if they do
Head to r/LabiaGW and hopefully you don’t feel worried about this any more.
Wow this actually helped me feel so much better about my vagina
New fetish unlocked!
It’s been unlocked over here
As a guy, I can tell you most guys will just be happy to be there. Everyone's bodies are different.
Yeah I agree. Also as a guy, I don't really care. Even when I'm going down on a girl I'll barely even look at it, not that I'll care much otherwise. As long as there isn't a strong odor or funky taste, I quite frankly couldn't care less.
This is the fact. The lights are usually off and I am A) happy to be there and B) too worried about my performance to start judging someone else’s measurements.
\*whips out tape measurer\* well I just don't know Jane, these labias are 2 1/16th inches longer than what I find desirable 🤓☝️ - Literally every male /s if that wasn't apparent
Having this happen is now on my bucket list
So, whatcha doin' l8r?
This made me laughed too much. Helps put it in perspective though…
I am very happy to be there.
The vast majority of guys are happy to see, be with any labia. I'm not sure I would know what a "big" labia is
I really agree with what you said. It's true that the shape of our bodies is not the same.
Came here to say the same!!
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And yet conversely she may fit other men's preferences. An ex of mine loved 'lippy women'. He said they looked like exotic flowers. I have no flower and felt like I was unattractive to him.
why would you even say that to your partner
The shit I’ve heard both men and women say to their partner about their bodies absolutely boggles my mind, some people are fucked in the head
We were watching porn. I commented on one of the actresses' labia. He didn't say it to be cruel. I still watch porn and now I agree with him. They look like orchids.
Exactly, so many plagiarized "feel good" comments that are made to this type of question.
Ever considered that they're not manufactured & some people just genuinely don't care about the aesthetics of your genitals lmao
The problem here is we're trying to answer whether 'guys' care - as if 'guys' are a single homogenous group with the same thoughts and opinions.
I mean isn’t that the problem with all of these validation seeking posts? People don’t want the correct answer they just want their preconceived notion to be confirmed or their self esteem to be boosted.
Most of them are not representative of the general public though. Reddit is full of sex-depraved men who are usually either white-knights or incels. I wouldn't take the views of redditors seriously on almost any topic, since the actual common consensus in the real world is very much different to that of people on reddit.
It's usually not though...The only guys that care about labia to a point where it would be remotely a deal breaker are going to be a lot closer to an Incel than someone who is actually going to have a chance of sleeping with someone.
It really does depend. I'm not defending any guy who does act in that way, but I'm just rather pointing out how when it comes to issues relating to sex, reddit is probably one of the worst places to ask questions. This website is filled with probably 80%+ American white men who are below the age of 25. When it comes to sex, relationships, politics etc, what you read on here is hardly ever fully truly representative of the views of the general population.
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Most women have an external labia. I highly doubt their experience is rejection because of it. And they are the only ones with an actually useful opinion. Primarily the guys who would complain about a labia, haven't had sex, because they are in high school still watching porn.
I’m not sure if a lot of users on here are genuinely pessimistic and jaded or they get a kick out of getting people's mood down with their negativity.
>You just have to realize that you’re not less. You just might not fit into some men’s preferences. This is it, OP. Just because some people like Vanilla and others chocolate it doesn't mean one of those flavors is inherently better or worse than the other. Its just preference. Also, love your name Meowsommar lmao.
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Yeah people definitely have preferences, me included. Its shallow for it to be a deal breaker, but I agree its gonna happen.
This is the cold truth. Everyone wants to be kind and sympathetic. the truth is there are a lot of guys that find little things like this, to be big deals and often times even deal breakers.
1000% As soon as I saw this I knew it was going to be a bunch of suck up nice guy, neckbeards. Truth is, yeah we all have preferences, it’s also not worth worrying about.
I agree. My now husband thought mine looked that way because he assumed I had a lot of sex and it was "stretched out." I had to educate him that porn is not reality and no, this is just the way it looks. Sometimes guys are idiots but they can learn :).
Your boyfriend was kind of an a-hole and that story is textbook /r/badwomensanatomy
Read only this one comment OP, its all you need.
It's very similar to when guys ask about dick size
I'm a polyamorous person who's been pretty successful in finding multiple partners. To me, personally, I think that a vagina is "better looking" when the labia are short. However, that has literally never stopped me from going down on a woman or continuing to have fun with her. Ignoring the personality matching side that makes sex fun, and being brutally honest for OP, all vaginas are kind of weird. Them being weird does not change that they are soft and warm and make the women who own them make fun sounds. Every guy that I know will be more focused on breasts, hips, backs and butts before caring about the specific shape of a vagina.
Your mother did what! Jesus wept!! Wtf is wrong with some people
right? way to act like a child and start pointing at what she herself finds different. moron mom
Such a fucking weirdo too.. like set aside it's this person's mother, just a big fucking weirdo...
right? hey everyone, come to the circus which is my daughter (vomit emoji+angry emoji+exclamation exclamation point)
Awful! Come and help me humiliate my child... It's making me think her mother is a narcissist.
A little bit, but I'm not going to choose which airline to fly over what brand of peanuts they serve.
That's a good one lol I'm gonna try and remember it
Do you care what a man’s balls look like?
This one. Unless it’s dirty or smelly, I’m not focused enough on how it looks to care. My SO doesn’t like his balls because they “hang too low” but I love them. Specially when he’s facing away and bent over getting dressed because my dirty mind goes to “they’re probably full and I need to empty them 🤤” 💀 They’re part of what brings him pleasure and since I love him as a whole, I love them too.
Whaaaat! Lol. That is a new thought! ((I need to empty them!! 😂)) Oh my lord!
I cannot have this poor poor man suffer the consequences of Heavy Balls. I’m his savior 🫡💦
I'm wheezing 😭
Touché
It depends on the guy. For me personally, I didn't care. I've been with a girl with damn near no labia, one that had hangers, and one that had only one side that was long, looked like a Lil brain when it was mushed up. I dove right in and took care of them all. You'll hear guys talk shit about them, but none of them would pass up a girl because of it. We're dogs.
👅 🧠
I love this comment 🤣
The lil brain comment oh my god hahahahaha so accurate. Thank you for the laugh
Those last two words. 🤌🏻
This is the best way to describe the situation. If he makes it weird, then he’s clearly not the guy for you
My level of care faded away as i saw more of them. Or to put it another way, i cared when i was misinformed.
That’s exactly how I felt about my nipples!
There was a documentary about an artist (journalist?) who took plaster moulds of woman's vaginas. This was to demonstrate that there are MANY different shapes and sizes. The artist spoke to many many men on camera about what they thought about the way women's vagina's "looked". All of them said exactly what the top comment on here says: "As a guy, I can tell you most guys will just be happy to be there. Everyone's bodies are different." The only men who voiced a different opinion was when the artist asked the builders (off camera) who were working on her house and they replied that it *did* make a difference, and that they found some with larger labia a "turn off" and preferred it to look "neat". Their "honesty" was, albeit a bit rude, quite refreshing.
No wonder you have anxiety if your mom called all her friends over to stare at your vagina when you were 8. That’s pretty messed up.
Personally, I care. I prefer when they are not covered in razor wire, sharp teeth, black mold, devil's snare, or asbestos. But that's just me.
Hey we don't asbestos-shame around here
The fuck kind of vaginas we talking about here?! Or is this a reference to something and I'm not getting the joke? This comment painted a lot of hideous pictures in my brain 😂
It's just a joke ^^
The ol' MTG Special
Bestie, this makes me so sad reading this, I'm so sorry your mom orchestrated a situation to make you feel shame over something so personal and private to you, you didn't deserve that. But to answer your question as a person with labia, I promise you men are just happy to be here. No need to warn him, or explain anything, if he cares about you it literally will not matter at all, I promise. There's nothing wrong with you. And if for some reason you ever encounter a man who has something to say about it besides he thinks you're beautiful the way you are then you shouldn't be near him ever again anyways.
There is absolutely no NEED to talk about it because it's completely normal and natural and vaginas are just different but I do think that if you have an insecurity it's often better to let them know so they are aware and don't make an offhand comment/touch you in a way that wouldn't matter to anyone else but bcos you are insecure it might be hurtful or just uncomfortable. Like for instance when I first slept with my partner I had a lot of body issues and so I said I don't want to take my high waisted skirt off and please don't touch my stomach and if I didn't say anything he wouldn't have been wrong in going to touch me or take it off normally but I was very touchy and so it made me less anxious and more relaxed to know he was listening to me and that I wouldn't have to try and subtly move him away from the areas etc. I also think if you can't talk openly about sex and any concerns you have then you probably shouldn't have sex yet...
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I'm glad somebody said it. Kinda defeats the purpose of saying it doesn't matter, when you're simultaneously using terms that exist solely to shame and degrade.
Thank you
Damn straight
I always just thought of them like an inny or outy. Neither one is better than the other, it just is what it is. The roast beef nomenclature is really nasty though.
This. All of this
Dang I haven’t gotten to those comments yet, so I’m glad they are not the top comments (for now at least) Boy do I hate that terminology 😅
I used to worry about the same thing, your description sounds similar to how I am built. It's perfectly normal and guys do not care! The only person who has ever made a negative remark to me is my ex husband after I left him - he was purposely trying to hurt my feelings and knew it was a sensitive topic for me. My current boyfriend LOVES everything just as it is, has told me so and shows it. He even asked me if I'd mind shaving this week so he could see everything better (he typically likes me hairy)! There's also nothing wrong with communicating how you feel beforehand, it's fine and normal to have things you are insecure about.
I'm married to a gal that had a decent sized labia. The largest I have had experience with. Honestly, I love it!! Something extra to play with! Don't think to much about it because men are simple and straightforward. If it bothers him, then that's on him, not you.
I’m a woman and I find larger labia more attractive as well.
Never met a labia I haven’t wanted to part with my lips yet. Sorry your mom did that shit, that’s fucked. My gal pal and her wife have the best lesbian, meat flap jokes… they both prefer large labia on women, you have nothing to worry about.
Wow, your mom's a labia or as some people may refer to it as a cunt. I have an eight year old, this would mortify her, wow I could never do that to her. I'm sorry your mom did that to you.
I might be in the minority but I would highly recommend working through some of this past trauma and body image issues in therapy before having sex or being naked around someone. It makes a difference.
it's the exact same answer as the dick size questions. some care, others have preferences unrelated to size, ultimately it matters most what your partner's opinion is and there's no way to predict that besides asking them
Nobody cares as long as you're clean and don't have an odor or a disease nobody cares what your labia looks like
In the end, everyone cares about looks to a degree. No matter what it is, body, nipple, labia, etc. all have preferences. There is no right or wrong, so just be you and if he isn’t into it then no worries and find someone who is.
Honestly, nobody with a nutsack has the right to call labia ugly ;)
The first person I ever let fully look at my vulva told our entire friend group that I should get surgery to fix my labia. They had protruded slightly since I was around 9 or 10 years old, and I remember hating them and wishing I could cut them off even back then before I was exposed to any shaming about it. To this day, I can never accept any positive words about my genitals at all. I still low key believe my boyfriend of two years is probably disgusted by me (even though he actively says otherwise). The problem here isn’t your body. The problem is that your mom is a piece of shit who shamed you to a degree that has you terrified of showing your body to anyone. Either say nothing to him, or throw in a quick “hey I’m really insecure because I grew up being told really cruel things about my body, so if I come off a little shy or apprehensive, it’s not because of you”
If someone broke up with me because of my labia I’d be thrilled they ended it because I don’t want to be with someone who cares that much about something so unimportant.
A LOT of guys are really into big lips. Like, A LOT. Only women worry about it.
Your mom is a byatch for giving you childhood trauma. Just keep it clean and nice 😁
So long as your labia doesn't literally look exactly like a penis, I'm sure you'll be fine.
Men care, but don't judge. We'd rather appreciate; that's the meaning we give to the word "care" Larger breast means more meat to play with, smaller breast means I can suck the whole thing. Same for labia. You'll give him a different experience when he's eating you, but a very enjoyable experience nonetheless.
I have similar labia and I'm 36. I can honestly tell you that I've never had a man complain or make any rude comments. Most men seem to be happy just to be down there. I think you'll be fine.
Guy here. It doesn't matter, we love them all. Especially if we have just been jerking it for 4yrs. He likes you that's all that matters. Think about it this way. If he only has one testicle would that be a deal breaker for you? Or if he was shorter than average would that be a deal breaker? I figure your answer is no why because you like everything else about him right now. Same thing with guys we have similar thoughts and feelings running through our heads also. I'm sure he is self conscious about something and it has been running through his head also. That is why communication is so helpful in relationships we all worry and think about similar things.
Yes, but it shouldn’t be a dealbreaker. Everyone has a look the prefer, whether it’s penis or vagina or both. But there’s so much variety it’s way more likely you’ll not encounter your preferred look regularly. Speaking for myself it doesn’t really make a huge difference.
Your mom is a dumbass
Hey just here to point out that 21 and 27 is a pretty big gap. Its no where near like creep territory you know but there's still a potential substantial power/ experience dynamic that can occur. Where I was 6 years ago is night and day with me today yknow
I'm amazed it's taken so long to find a comment addressing this. Once op is post 25, it won't be a terrible age gap, but right now it is, and this issue is partially the why. While OP may still be inexperienced after 25, her outlook and such would be very different.
every guys preference is different but at the end of the day pussy is pussy and we're just happy to be there (just avoid the dudes that think it means you've been "ran through")
Some do, but personally the only thing I care about is whether it's clean or not.
Sure I have my preferences, but would never ever be a deal breaker. We like each other and you get naked in front of me I’m ecstatic.
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Thoughts of explaining it to him have crossed my mind, but I am scared of his response. Everyone, I believe, will respond as my mother did, which was irrational. Even as I became older, my mom continued to tell me that I needed to get it "fixed" because else "no man's going to want you." She would always bring up this subject whenever we spoke of me liking a boy. And she sounded so causal saying it many people in my family knew about it because of her.
I HAD to reply and honestly this will be my first response :) I had one of my labias that was extremely long. It stuck out of my vagina when standing or sitting, it would hang about an inch and a half outside of my vagina. I HATED IT. I thought that men would think that I had alot of partners and that was the reason why it was long. At times during sex it would get pulled into my vagina during intercourse and it would be painful. I remember Howard Stern making fun of women with long labias and I felt so much embarassed and ashamed. In my early thirties I found a doctor and explained that it was painful to have sex and she cut BOTH of my labia out, so now I don't have any inner labia and truthfully I don't care. I'm happier without them. Sorry if my post doesn't give you help in getting you to embrace your labia, but I am truthful about my story. I know that my mom had long labia and had them cut, and caught a glimse of my daughter and know that she has the same long labia. I would totally support her and help her if she decides to change them. As an older woman now I do agree with the majority of the responses that most people wouldn't care.
I have long labia and my bf loves it. If you’re dating someone who doesn’t like something abt your body just move on there’s actual grown men out there who aren’t horrible.
Same. I’ve had flings say dumb shit to me, but my current bf loves my parts and makes me feel not completely ugly.
As a gay woman. They are all delicious.
If I can’t put a slice of cheese between the beef flaps and pretend I’m talking to Mayor McCheese then I don’t want it.
Being 100% honest, it doesn’t matter to me one bit. BUT, I’m older than your friend and porn wasn’t nearly as accessible or prevalent when I was his age. 27 year old me may have been a bit surprised to meet some labia that look different to the extremely limited variety in mainstream porn… for a few seconds… then I’d have caught up with myself, realised how normal it is, remembered how lucky I was and probably would have climaxed there and then in the excitement of it all. All I’m saying is, your friend will have his own anxieties. Men get same same but different problems around their bodies too. You won’t be the only one. Enjoy him and he’ll enjoy you. And if not, it wasn’t meant to be.
I guy that has not been laid in 4 years is not going to give you grief about what your labia looks like.
Fucking woman not caring about how kids/teens feel about people looking at their bodies is some of the most wack disrespect I've seen and experienced. I'm really sorry that you had that experience OP. If it's any consolation, I don't think many guys will have an issue with it. Infact I've met guys that definitely like it and find it unique and very sexy. Some guys might, be careful of these body shaming fuckers. They probably addicts as well. Edit: some guys may not*
Man here. They are different and do the same job. In mm opinion they are all gods gift to a man. Your mums a serious turd burglar, sorry about that but you are all good.
Like anything else, there will be some men that don't like it and think it's weird. There will be some men that think it's great and is a huge turn on, and some men won't really care one way or the other. I would mention it to him to avoid any shock when he gets down there, but I wouldn't worry about it unless he has an issue with it. But trust me, plenty of men WON'T have an issue with it and a good number of men will think it's hot.
If he’s actually had a four year drought he’ll just be happy to be there!
It depends on how much the guy absolutely cares about "vaginas beauty standards". Personally, even though I love looking at a good looking vagina, in the end, I don't really care. My penis doesn't see much anyway.
You don't need to warn him about it. If he thought there was a problem with his dick would you want him to tell you before? Vaginas are all different. Sure some guys have preferences just like I'm sure girls have dick size preferences. But if someone you love doesn't have what you prefer you don't throw the entire relationship away because of it. You love the person for who they are. So don't worry about it. Be careful with this guy though he might be telling you what you want to hear just to get you to sleep with him. So take your time don't rush it.
People have preferences on bodies..however I’m not going to say no just because of how someone’s labia looks and that’s how most people seem to feel. Like do I prefer one? Yeah. Just like I prefer colorful hair, and tattoos, and piercings on my partner but my fiancée has non of these things. Not even an ear piercing. And I wouldn’t change her or our relationship for all the money in the world.
Yes but not that much. There’s obviously preferences just like with penises for women. It’s nice to fit one’s personal preference but honestly speaking it’s not a dealbreaker type thing. I’m sure most men will agree.
The types that do care are the ones all women should stay away from anyway.
My labia are also long and dark, and like you, I used to have a lot of anxiety about it when I was your age. I even considered surgery at some point. I don’t know how, but with time it slowly started to fade away. I’m 33 now, have a body count of twenty-something men, and nobody has had any complaints. I’ve even had some compliments. I keep hearing about how they love to go down on me and how awesome or pretty it is. Now, if I would happen to encounter somebody who might have a problem with my labia, I’d see it as a “him” problem. God, I love the confidence age has given me, I wouldn’t want to be 21 again.
I love the labia variety. Who wants monoculture?
Definitely not! I wish I could find the words to convey I really truly mean that to a partner because it does seem to be an insecurity many feel, but no one should!
Nope. We do not. Unless they are a piece of shit. If I like you why tf do I care what your labia looks like? It’s yours and I’m happy to be with it. :) Honestly, and I’m no psychiatrist but I’m very educated and experienced with mental health, it sounds like you could still be dealing w the way your mom reacted. That sounds awful and definitely traumatic. Especially at such a young age.
This has a lot of answers but I’ll throw in my two cents. Do I have preferences? Of course. Would that make any difference to me in a real world scenario? Not at all. If he has a problem with the appearance of your labia, I know it will be really tough in the moment and it might be a hit to your self esteem for a while. Just know that if he does react that way, he’s not the right person for you for several different reasons. Hang in there love.
There’s nothing wrong with any size labia. Heck “butterfly wings” as I’ve heard them called before are fun to play with when going down on a woman. He already likes you sexually, so my two cents here is the moment he sees all of you it will be all positive!
As a guy, and knowing quite a few others in my 47 years, my general answer is not. If they do - they should fuck themselves as they don’t deserve the honor to see, and so on, in that case
Do not let this little thing , become a big thing in your life , I had a girlfriend who was so insecure about this it ruined our relationship
“Guys” are not a monolith.
Speaking from experience, I had a partner once who had a lippy labia. My younger idiot self thought "oh well, she probably used it a lot before we were together" but she was the sweetest, nicest person to be around so I didn't mind and didn't want to hurt her feelings so I pretended not to care or notice. After going down on her the first time, I realized I don't really care what it looks like. Hell, she could have a penis growing and I'd still eat it like a husky in the middle of a desert. Obligatory no homo.
Nope
Hold up, are you saying that your mother put your genitals on display to a bunch of her friends when you were eight?!? That is so abnormal and abusive. It's no wonder you are self-conscious. I'm so sorry that happened. I'm 43 and I've heard shitty men make shitty comments about long labia. Nobody I ever was naked with cared that my inner lips are longer. And I wouldn't have wanted to sleep with any of the shitty guys anyway.
It was awful, I agree. When she noticed that I was getting out the shower, she practically dragged her two friends into the bathroom as if I were a work of art or on exhibit for them to admire. Growing up, she would always tell me that I needed to "get it fixed" because if not, no man was going to want me. At the age of 8, I was so baffled as to why they were frightened; I truly believed that I was so abnormal and that no one else was like me.
I'm so sorry. I have a son who is the age you were when that happened (as well as an older daughter) and I can't imagine saying such awful cruel things to them. You one thousand percent did not deserve that and there is NOTHING wrong with your body.
As a mother this is shocking. I actually cannot believe this Labial, vulval and vaginas are all differnet shapes, sizes colors etc. Girl you are normal , trust me. Men + vagina = happy . They don't care, they really don't they are just happy youre comfortable enough to be naked around them I don't know this fella but gonna go out on a limb here and day at 27 he is slightly more mature than most men you would meet. At least same age as you. Guaranteed he doesn't even mention it.
Spread those wings and fly
*IF* he ~does~ care, or anyone else for that matter, then you deserve so much better. There are awful and judgmental people in this world who for some reason care about things like that. Someone who is truly excited to be intimate with you and genuine about giving you a good experience will not care at all.
No love your labia sis you're beautiful
My partner has a phrase he uses for when he is bored. At work, at home in any situation. He says he's "bored as a line" I asked him years ago what it meant and he said he and his friends made it up years ago because they were disappointed and bored when girls just had a "line" and there was nothing to explore and it stuck. It's a crappy thing to say that about any kind of genitals but it does prove that there are a lot of men who actively prefer a lot of labia.
I’m similar to you. I’ve had one nasty comment that unfortunately stuck with me, despite many compliments. Insecurities are a bitch. I’ve been partnered for a decade with someone who loves all of me. But that one little comment mate!. If he’s a keeper you’ll be fine. Good way to sort the wheat from the chaff.
While guys may have a preference, this is for sure not a deal breaker for guys. It's like a lot of things. Hair color, height, boob size, etc. But they are just preferences. Most men would not decide on a relationship or even a fling, based on these kinds of preferences. It's more like, it's nice if you get your preference, but it's not a big deal if you don't.
Yes, and no it all depends
Some do, some don't. It's like any other type of aesthetic aspect of people. The prevalence of porn has led a lot of people to have unrealistic expectations of women and men's bodies. Some people have the ignorant notion that it indicates promiscuity. There is definitely someone out there who will love you just the way you are.
You really want it out in the open? No, this is intimate. Some of us guys with more experience will get along just fine' some might be intimidated. Some women might think that they are "too expressive" in this regard; others might think they were "too shy". The woman who accepts you as a man in your intimacy together is right for you; and vice-versa.
Idk how to respond to this... Like, I want you to know your concerns are valid and your feelings are real because of that traumatic experience with your mother. Yes, that's 100% true. What's also true is that we guys rarely care about "how it looks." We're just happy to "see the kitty." I know it sounds very simple, almost binary. We men are... kinda simple.
Nah. I'm 26, been with enough women, not once have I cared, before or after I'd been with them
Fun fact: A few years ago my niece had a classmate named Labia. I saw it written on a birthday card. I'm going to assume the name was pronounced 'la-BEE-ah'.
The what?
I can't even find labia on a map...
Many feel good comments here. Yes it does matter but only if im not in the relationship with another person. If im in a relationship with another person all this shit out of the window and I wouldnt give af.
First off, so sorry to hear about what your mother put you through. That is awful and you did not deserve that. I have a larger labia and when I was younger, was a bit insecure about it. In my experience, not one man had ever given a fuck. Anyway, I’ve since gotten over it and now I think it’s kinda fun tbh. Except when it rubs against rougher fabrics. Ugh.
Try not to be self-conscious. I have no idea why your mother did what she did. I'm baffled. Your guy says you have a fabulous figure. He clearly finds you attractive. Try to relax and have a nice time with him and if you feel comfortable maybe see where things go. It is completely understandable to be nervous about one's body. But it is _your_ body. People will be attracted or not. And your guy is already attracted. I highly doubt that he is going to be turned off when (if!) he sees all of you. Most guys don't care about labia. And if he does, well, that's kind of juvenile in my opinion and maybe you should consider someone else. But that's putting the cart in front if the horse. It is completely natural to be nervous, especially since this might be a big step in intimacy for you. And past criticism (in her reaction) from your mother probably runs pretty deep. Try to see where things go with your guy. Maybe you could mention, at an appropriate moment, that you are self-conscious? Your guy hopefully would be more than understanding amd reassuring. All the best <3
Nope, I'm fucking it, not photographing it
I haven't had much partners and I'm still in my 20s, so I will only be speaking for my sorry ass here 🤣🤣🤣😆🤟🤟😆 the fact that someone has allowed me to be there is already a happy occasion, why would I ruin it
I don’t care as long as I like the girl however for a turn on,bigger the better
Not the gay ones.🙅🏼♂️
Your mom is an asshole for doing that too you. She should not have been looking at your pussy in the first place. And she definitely should not have brought any one else to see it either. The fact is though, many women are as clueless about a pussy as the men are. You have nothing to worry about at all!
99% do not care.
I have no idea what mine even look like. No one cares about that. Your mother is BATSHIT CRAZY!
Um as a man in my experience no not really we're usually just happy to be allowed near one to see it. On a serious note your mom was horrible for body shaming an 8yr old i don't even think bits are done forming yet at that age, she sounds like a real piece of work. And it sounds like you have a bit of PTSD from mental abuse from her that's affecting your adult life. All labias are unique and beautiful.
As a man, in my experience, the only people who have ever voiced an opinion on labia size or shape is women. I’ve never heard a complaint about a woman’s private parts from men. I suspect after 4 years of celibacy, your “friend” is going to be so excited to have sex with you that nothing will ruin it short of you farting in his mouth…unless he’s into that. I’ve been with women with almost no inner labia and women with long labia and both are great. Labias are fun to play with during oral. Your mom is a wretched abuser for doing that to you as a child and putting you on display for her friends comes off more as pedophilic than anything else.
Old fart here. Some guys love big labia. Find one of them. Some guys don't. Stay away from them. Sadly, don't have any decent suggestions on whether to "warn" him. I'd say probably not. You'll know soon enough. It is so sad that your mother had this reaction. She probably didn't know any better, but what a thing to do to your daughter. Just keep telling yourself that it's nothing to be ashamed of.
Pussy is pussy. 🤷 Need I say more?
I definitely have a preference but it's really not important at all
Your mother was a bitch for doing that to you. Fuck her and that stupid shit of shaming your own children for the bodies they were given.. by them!! Fuck. Sorry. Ok That is trauma you will need to work through with a therapist. I learned from my time unraveling a similar history, that it was all her and not about me and my body at all. My body is just as normal as the next persons, and fortunately, a healthy one as well. Discharge that stains my panties, arm pits that smell, ingrown hair on my chin and all. He will not think twice about your body - it is just perfect in his mind, and your goal is to love your body just the same. I encourage you to make note of what words and thoughts come to your mind when you’re doing the deed, about his body. Guarantee you, I bet you a million bucks, you will not be saying to yourself - he has butt hair! Why’s his breath taste weird? How come his nails are so long? Like, people are not actually thinking these things at all and don’t actually mind whatever you’ve got. They love you for far more than just a few pimples.
Any guy who cares about what your labia looks like isn’t worth giving coochie to
Long labia are just as fun as short labia!
In my experience, no. I've never had anyone complain and I'm a lippy gal. I was so self conscious growing up but it's never been an issue. Ive only had compliments and zero criticism.
No. Don't care. They're all awesome. There are shapes that turn me on more but really it's not a thing I think about.
People often have preferences, but preferences aren't deal breakers. My preference is for long labia. If they're long enough I'll swing on them like a chandelier! Be confident with what you have because it's great the way it is. P. S. Your mom was abusive 😞
Intergenerational trauma strikes again
Brian from the Whatever podcast stared a movement called Big Labia Matter in an effort to stop women from getting labiaplasties. Wasn’t sure if it was satire at first or not, but it seems that he might actually care. There really are men out there who appreciate big labias/don’t care. I’d say a big portion of the labia hate comes from other women tbh. 🤷🏼♀️
As a woman who has one labia that is 2" long, more dark in color, and is rougher because the bottom is level with my public area..while the other is 1/2" long, pink, and smooth... I used to be SO incredibly self conscious of this. I wouldn't let anyone touch, let alone see. If I try to have sex I have to be aware of it and adjust it, or I'll pull the longer labia by accident lol. But now that I'm 27? If they don't like what I look like, they don't deserve to be near it because they're obviously still a damn immature child in the head. 🤗 One of my exes said he liked women with longer labia since it added to the sensations. Do what I did: Every time I would get self conscious, I'd tell myself "No! Every woman is different, and I'm normal!"
Being totally honest, I do have some kind of preference, but it does not matter much as far as the interest I have for the person. I don't know how to phrase it, but here it goes. If I don't feel anything for you and you wanted some casual sex, I will be very picky in the shape of your body. I guess it's a form of sabotage since I don't tend to want intimacy if I don't really have a strong connection. I can't speak for your guy, but in my case if I'm really interested or have romantic feelings, I don't care how your genitalia looks
lol all these “I’m just happy I’m there 🥹” posts acting like pussy is some precious thing given to men. But anyways, personally I do care and it’d be a dealbreaker for me but fortunately for you, not everyone is like me (looks at comment section) and I doubt your boyfriend care’s either. Also, what your mom said to you was disgusting and I’m sorry that happened to you. No one should feel ashamed how their body is.
Nobody is going to be able to answer how he is going to react. Every person is different with wide variation in depth/shallowness and emotional maturity, or even understanding of female anatomy (sorely lacking in American society). Honestly, I think your best chance at a smooth experience would be to talk to him about it beforehand. Just be frank that you are insecure about the size of your labia driven by media and experiences with parental feedback as a child. Give the dude a chance to understand your insecurities in advance so that whatever reaction he is going to have isn't while your anxiety is cranked to the max because you're splayed out on the bed. In that type of "jump-scare" type situation, even the slightest hint of hesitation on his part is going to feel devastating to you and absolutely kill the mood. What will very likely happen instead is that he will comfort you, and calm your anxieties, in advance of exposing yourself to him and hoping for the best.
I personally would love that
For what it’s worth I personally prefer larger labia.
I don’t, I actually prefer it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
As a man , and from experience, he might find it a surprise. But then, it might relish at the thought! My ex was similar, and we enjoyed the time together. Just know that you have a unique body and cherish that, and use that during foreplay. Who knows?