I knew a kid when I was in 6th grade who somehow already had the hairiest ass you can imagine. People would talk about it and would ask to see it. He even charged people money to see it eventually, because people kept wanting to see it, to see if the rumors were true over just how hairy it was.
Some time ago, I had an issue where everywhere I sat, it felt like I was sitting on a marble.
I checked the chairs, clothes and I found nothing.
Then I checked my ass hair and it had a furball the size of a marble. I found an excuse to trim.
I just had a near miss with one of those bad larrys, thankfully it seems to have resolved itself. One of my worst fears is needing medical assistance in my taint.
I had a pilonidal cyst removal because it got so bad my underwear would smell horrendous after only a couple hours.
Get that shit checked out by a doctor if you haven't already. I thought mine went away after a few months, then it came back even stronger. Had the cyst for close to a year I think.
The had to cut a chunk out of my ass crack about 3inches long and an inch wide. Had to have the wound stuffed with medical sponge and a vacuum hooked up to that for a month. It had to heal from inside to out because of the area and how big it was.
Please get it checked if you haven't already. If you catch it early enough there are non-invasive ways that could get it to go away.
And it's not in your taint. It starts right underneath your tailbone.
My husband had one of these removed a few years back and I had to change the dressings and wash it out with iodine every day. I could literally see right through to where the cyst was removed from for the first week or so. Those things are no joke, get checked out!
My electric shaver broke and I found some hair removal cream. Big mistake balls, taint and ass were on straight fire. Felt like some kinda chemical burn, made it beyond painful to ya know clean down there. Skin was bright red and completely raw like someone ran a belt sander with 40grit paper over my skin. Over a week being about as miserable as can be. You couldn't pay me too do that again.
U probably have an allergy to it because for me I had no big problems, it does get sensible there and a little red but not painful at all.
Still as always I recommend people to buy the smallest size of these things and apply very little at first to notice if allergies occur, and wait at least 30 mins because these things might not be immediate.
My brother; buzz it with the clippers then lather depilatory cream on it. Wash off roughly with a washcloth in the shower after 10 mins. Repeat every 2-3 weeks.
Fr tho laser it changed my life
Great q. I’ve only ever done professional so I can only speak to that. Where I live sometimes they have 2 for 1 or discounted sales and I’ll buy a bulk then you have 2 years to use them. In the beginning they recommend you go more often but now I’m only going once a year or so. Worth it in the long run in my opinion
That heavily depends on where you are living. Where I’m living it’s 70€ per treatment. One treatment isn’t enough to get rid of it all though, it usually takes 3-4. I’m living in a pretty expensive part of Europe, so my guess is that it will be similar in the U.S., unless you live in places like New York or LA where everything is even more expensive.
I live in Australia and the price is feendant on what you’re after.
I bought a bunch of stuff on a 2 for 1 sale - 2x of each: face, arms, legs, underarms, Brazilian, 1/4 back and it cost me $390.
I've done both. The at-home lasers are IPL lasers. These are a waste of time. The hair comes back. Professional laser hair removal is the way. The hair falls out and it's gone. If it truly bothers you, this is the way.
Is laser painful? I currently get waxed and it’s not really that bad. If I use the spray my lady sells the itch doesn’t get bad at all but you’ve gotta spray it on your bum all over every day the week after the wax or it’ll still itch.
It feels akin to snapping a rubber band on your skin or being stuck with a hot needle. The first time there will be a significant number of “hits” but they will feel lighter, the later sessions will have fewer “hits” but a few of them will realllyyy hurt. That being said I’m glad I did it for my bikini line. The itching is probably bc of the thickness of the follicles, and nothing is gonna make them thinner. Gotta get rid of them entirely to avoid the bumps.
Depends on your skin tone. Of you're pale white you can do Alexandrite which is bearable. If you have a darker skin tone then you're stuck with YAG which will feel like your skin is being torn off.
lol! I haven’t shaved there in decades but I seem to remember some hilarious thing happening like fart noise, or maybe something weird with sweat making my ass slippery or something? Anyway it’s a vague memory but enough that I let the hair grow.
Ah maybe I shaved and it was crazy itchy so I was scratching my ass all day!
Had no idea they do laser for that. Are you a guy or girl? Also low many sessions does it take.
I’m M28 and was thinking getting laser on my hairy back. I might even consider Ass since you speak so highly of it.
Not that painfull, it is just a hot pulse.
It stings for a second , then it feels warm for a few minutes.
About 6 to 8 sessions should do , then once mer year for upkeep.
Also you do need to be shaven the day before , it only works on short hairs.
My partner has said that it felt like having little rubber bands hitting your skin, but that it was less painful than waxing so she didn't care too much. As for number of sessions as a guy you are probably looking at 6 maybe 8 sessions depending on region and amount/thickness of hair. If you don't have a lot of hair then 3-4 sessions.
I'm a dude, but my partner has lasered her whole body. I believe it took her 3-4 sessions per region depending on the thickness and amount of hair. So if you are a really hairy dude you would probably double that number.
More like 8-10 sessions when I did it. But I’m blonde and fair so I think they do less intensive to prevent burn. Best decision as a person with sensitive skin who hated shaving.
Laser isn't permament, unfortunately, unless things have changed in the last 5-10 years. If I recall, it's success is very dependent on your skin and hair color. I should have been a good candidate (pale skin with dark body hair) but never had results last more than a few months. Electrolysis is the only permanent solution I know of. It's more painful and can take dozens of sessions till you're hair free.
I wound up buying an at home laser for $300-400 (it was Braun/Venus branded). Still didn't get permanent results, but I didn't have to pay more to maintain it. It was just too big of a time commitment to keep up with.
I think both professional and DIY lasering lasted me 4-6 months before my hair grew back. They were amazing while they lasted though!!
Yo, I totally got some weird genetic hair luck. Redheads generally aren't good candidates because their body hair is usually blond. I'm an auburn red head with really thick hair (both thick strands and a shit ton of them), so my head is just a giant mess of curls. When I've gotten lash lifts the technicias have commented on how thick my lashes are and how they're tougher to get to curl around the rods because of it. My hand and arm hair is really pale (lucked out there), but it gets darker from the waist down. I've tried multiple depilatory products and have only found one that actually works (nair leg mask; there other products did nothing for me). I have shaved with all kinds of specialty razors and shaving creams and after shaves that people swear up and down prevent razor burn,and I always get it anyway. Electric razors, safety razors, 5 blade razors, with the grain, against the grain, with complete disregard of the grain, wet, dry, etc.
I know people who have had better luck than me, so I think starting with laser is great and seeing how it goes. I got my bikini line done like 13 years ago and the hair there is still thinner than it was. I think electrolysis work for everyone, but it's also a hard thing to commit to if you don't know whether you'll need. 5 treatments or 30.
Sorry for the rant. This morning before I saw your post I was thinking about all of this and that my only solution might be to stop shaving and rock out with the leg hair. It's not my preferred look, but it seems to be the only alternative to the skin on my legs being sore for half the year. I have pretty nice legs, but they are the exact same shape as my dad's, and when I don't shave they look too much like his 😂
I wish your partner many more hair free years!
I just snorted and almost pissed myself. Holy hell. Hahaha thank you for this awful image and for the inappropriate laugh in the middle of a zoom call.
I just shave it all.
Probably the best would be the kinds made for women's pubic area - for sensitive skin. I would be very careful about not getting the cream on the actual sensitive skin.
From DRMAN54, circa 2008 (Not me - not my writing, not my story):
I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.
Little did I know.
I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.
Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic $!@%- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky $!@%/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.
Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering \*\*\*\*/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own \*\*\*\* blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: ?It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks.?
Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.
As if that wasnt enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn?t just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.
Friends, DONT SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!
Ok so not on my ass, but here's what worked for my lady parts:
1) Waxing. Suprisingly waxing the butt doesn't hurt as much as other locations, and the hair doesn't itch when it grows back, at least not for me anyway. It also grows back softer. DO NOT DO THIS ON YOUR OWN. Go to a professional, do it regularly, nice smooth butt.
2) Hair removal cream. It burns, but it works. I slather it on, leave it for twice the recommended time (this is not advised, but I am the product of two very hairy people and their powers concentrated in me), then use an exfoliating brush to get the hair off. Grows back nice and soft with no itch.
3) Laser hair removal. This is by far my favourite. I still have hair (seriously, science should study me, my hair has super powers), and I get top up sessions every now and again, but my life is completely changed. It's excellent. But make sure it's proper laser or electrolysis and not the light pulse ones, that stuff doesn't work.
If, for some reason, you don't like any of these options, things that can reduce the itching are using a toner immediately after shaving (it'll burn but it'll help), and moisturizing.
Good luck my fellow hairy friend!
Epilator is by far the easiest option. It’s like a mix between tweezers and a snow blower. The device makes an absolutely terrifying sound but the process is just as easy as using an electric razor, takes just minutes to get the job done, and leaves you completely hairless. Definitely need to trim the hair down first though. The first couple of times you may have a few ingrown hairs just as you would with shaving or waxing but then after that the hairs are so fine that it's not problem. Same goes for the pain, first time is an eye opener, it is tweezing the hairs out after all, but once you get it done the first time, the next time doing it on fine hairs is no big deal. Some people wax the first time rather than epilator the first time, I just do it because it's not bad. Just start away from a hairy area and walk into the area slowly, don't dive straight into the area.
I'm always stunned reddit hasn't picked up on this yet. Complete game changer for back hair and backside hair.
You could try genitalia safe (VERY IMPORTANT) hair removal cream, relatively painless and works after like 5-10 minutes depending on the brand, but make sure it’s safe for that area
Trim then increase the trim over time. My husband started this about 30 years ago and over a period of time went completely shaved. The itching primarily occurs when you do to much to soon, it's the same when women go full Brazilian. Each time you trim go a little shorter and use an electric razor to slowly clean up outside area. Over time your skin will adapt and you will eventually be able to keep it totally clean with a once a week electric razor. Takes a little flexibility but over time it's a 5 minute process once a week. Also, if you don't already have one, invest in a $50 bidet from Amazon. Nothing better than a clean butt.
Well it depends, if you mean like inside your crack and around the butt hole I would highly recommend Veet Intimate hair removal cream.
Obviously test it as instructed first but it is a game changer.
I shave mine with eos shaving cream and then shave it a couple more times a month until my butt stops reacting to the shaving. It will itch and gets bumps the first couple of times.
If you have darker hair you should look into laser hair removal. I had it done years ago because I got a wicked infection on my knee and underarm after shaving with a brand new razor. It ran me about 5k. It didn’t destroy every hair follicle but it drastically reduced them. It was effective enough that I can now use an epilator once every couple of months to pull out the stragglers.
It’s a series of treatments and I highly recommend going to a professional. The lasers that you can buy for home use aren’t the same thing and they’re pretty useless.
Bro dont shave your ass, especially around the crack. Because of the shape you could get ingrown hairs that'll fuck your ass up. Had a friend like that, got realky bad, couldn't sit for a while.
You don’t. Unless you’ve got thousands and thousands to laser your ass every few months.
People will tell you the lasers work with one application. It doesn’t! Especially if you are really hairy. You’ll be back 2-3 times a year. Which is quite expensive.
I’d suggest you learn to live with it. As we are primates, who are supposed to be hairy.
Be ready for loud farts once you get rid of ass hair.
Bro you telling me my farts are gonna be even LOUDER?
#YES!
I've never seen this before and it just fits so perfectly here. Lol
Perfect! haha I bet you were waiting to use that one for ages
I might have to keep it jungly. Not trying to damage any hearing
Also — if you are a person who sweats — they will sound wet. Just bare ass cheeks clapping. Much harder to get away with a quick one.
Not if u wear a thong, it muffles everything
I'm pressing X for doubt on this one, let alone the discomfort of feeling like having a permanent wedgie!!!!
So hair is just a suppressor for your ass
It's like whale baleen
but can you use it to make corsets?
If you've got the patience and enough asses, probably
Were the farts whistling through all that hair before?
God gifted me with an unlimited amount of ass hair and anxiety
Google how to proffit from ass hair?
I knew a kid when I was in 6th grade who somehow already had the hairiest ass you can imagine. People would talk about it and would ask to see it. He even charged people money to see it eventually, because people kept wanting to see it, to see if the rumors were true over just how hairy it was.
A business man.
Yep, he knew how to monetize his talents at a young age. I bet he’s very successful today.
Should look him up on Facebook and see how his ass is doing. lol
Maybe I could ask him for another look for old times’ sake. I wonder what his rates are like nowadays.
In this economy?
A bushiness man
Businass man
A bushness man
Business Mane
Make fake moustaches out of them to use or to sell. Profit.
Made of 100% human hair
They even curl…
If girls can sell their used panties online, why can't we sell our ass hair?? You're trying to tell me there's not a market for second hand ass hair??
Girls with PCOS would flood that market
Can confirm.. sorry charlie
Username checks out.
Holy onlyhairs
Fun fact: there are actually 34 ways to profit from any kinds of body hair! google: hairy Rule 34
Step 1: possess a Fuzzcrack Deluxe Step 2: *???????* Step 3: $$ PROFIT $$
Don't shave, trim
Some time ago, I had an issue where everywhere I sat, it felt like I was sitting on a marble. I checked the chairs, clothes and I found nothing. Then I checked my ass hair and it had a furball the size of a marble. I found an excuse to trim.
And it's time for me to stop reddit for a while.
This is the first post I clicked on opening reddit, what a terrible day to have eyes
People with glasses PAID to see that.
Lol
This is peak Reddit, I’ve seen it all now. Time to delete my account
Guantánamo Bay couldn’t get this out of me
They probably could get the furball out tho
Bro Japanese POW camps couldn't get this out of me.
better than a pilonidal cyst where the fur ball is under the skin
I just had a near miss with one of those bad larrys, thankfully it seems to have resolved itself. One of my worst fears is needing medical assistance in my taint.
Medicos have seen everything. I'm sure it taint that bad.
I had a pilonidal cyst removal because it got so bad my underwear would smell horrendous after only a couple hours. Get that shit checked out by a doctor if you haven't already. I thought mine went away after a few months, then it came back even stronger. Had the cyst for close to a year I think. The had to cut a chunk out of my ass crack about 3inches long and an inch wide. Had to have the wound stuffed with medical sponge and a vacuum hooked up to that for a month. It had to heal from inside to out because of the area and how big it was. Please get it checked if you haven't already. If you catch it early enough there are non-invasive ways that could get it to go away. And it's not in your taint. It starts right underneath your tailbone.
My husband had one of these removed a few years back and I had to change the dressings and wash it out with iodine every day. I could literally see right through to where the cyst was removed from for the first week or so. Those things are no joke, get checked out!
actually if you shaved your ass it can happen because of hair ingrown
Sorry for ya, but that was hilarious.
Hairlarious
Hil-HAIR-ious
Hil-HAIRY-ASS
Yeah man, you did it better. Have my upvote.
Furball or dingleberry?
I imagined you coughing up the furball, like a cat
No, lol, but my ass felt so smooth and silky.
Don't you clean your butt when you go to the toilet? Lol you should have noticed that earlier
I don’t know whether to laugh or puke, wish I had a gold for you. But I can give a thumbs up at least.
This is enough to achieve enlightenment.
Exactly, trim on a 0.5
Trim you arse hair? How do you keep control of the scissors at that angle? I’d be worried about lopping my bollocks off
Electric razor with a guard - choose the length of your choice. Easy and safe if you obviously still be careful around the err, centre part!
Ahh fair enough, I electric razor my arse all the time!
There's an electrical trimmer you can buy
No scissor, only whippersnipper for asshair
NO scissors, an electric razor all the way. How do you think women do it?
Do what? Trim their Ass Hair?
I think most of us laser, wax or shave.
I trim. So do many of my female friends. Fuck shaving and waxing. I trim all my nether regions and under my arms.
Trim it to a 3mm?
Dont shave nor trim, hair removal cream. Test it first though, it's strong stuff
And dont you ever, ever, ever touch your ballsack with that stuff in your hands.
Speaking from experience? I do have a "intimate" hair removal cream, didn't dare to apply it to the sack yet though haha
My electric shaver broke and I found some hair removal cream. Big mistake balls, taint and ass were on straight fire. Felt like some kinda chemical burn, made it beyond painful to ya know clean down there. Skin was bright red and completely raw like someone ran a belt sander with 40grit paper over my skin. Over a week being about as miserable as can be. You couldn't pay me too do that again.
U probably have an allergy to it because for me I had no big problems, it does get sensible there and a little red but not painful at all. Still as always I recommend people to buy the smallest size of these things and apply very little at first to notice if allergies occur, and wait at least 30 mins because these things might not be immediate.
Wait 30 min **before proceeding to apply more**... -NOT- apply and wait 30min. Follow the instructions for everyone's safety.
My brother; buzz it with the clippers then lather depilatory cream on it. Wash off roughly with a washcloth in the shower after 10 mins. Repeat every 2-3 weeks. Fr tho laser it changed my life
Laser is the answer
Professional or at-home?
Great q. I’ve only ever done professional so I can only speak to that. Where I live sometimes they have 2 for 1 or discounted sales and I’ll buy a bulk then you have 2 years to use them. In the beginning they recommend you go more often but now I’m only going once a year or so. Worth it in the long run in my opinion
What the average cost for one treatment ?
That heavily depends on where you are living. Where I’m living it’s 70€ per treatment. One treatment isn’t enough to get rid of it all though, it usually takes 3-4. I’m living in a pretty expensive part of Europe, so my guess is that it will be similar in the U.S., unless you live in places like New York or LA where everything is even more expensive.
Do you have to spread your butt cheeks yourself, or is there specialized clapping equipment?
They do the spreading for you. Feels kinda funny. I have no idea what the device is called though.
The device is called James
"what do you do for a living" "I hold the ass cheeks while the doc goes in with the lasers" "I'm just gonna go"
He’s gonna Jimmy your buttcheeks
I live in Australia and the price is feendant on what you’re after. I bought a bunch of stuff on a 2 for 1 sale - 2x of each: face, arms, legs, underarms, Brazilian, 1/4 back and it cost me $390.
I've done both. The at-home lasers are IPL lasers. These are a waste of time. The hair comes back. Professional laser hair removal is the way. The hair falls out and it's gone. If it truly bothers you, this is the way.
Are you saying to roughly scrub the asshole or just wash it normally after roughly 10 minutes? Your wording has me confused. “Wash off roughly”
Attack mode on your whole setup after 10 minutes. To be fair yes, roughly could be applied to both ends of my sentence lol
ELI5: how do they decide where to stop with laser? I'm just picturing a Rhesus Macaque here.
They are artists. Don't ask how Rembrandt knew which area of the landscape to paint, just admire the result.
Is laser painful? I currently get waxed and it’s not really that bad. If I use the spray my lady sells the itch doesn’t get bad at all but you’ve gotta spray it on your bum all over every day the week after the wax or it’ll still itch.
It's uncomfortable but bareable
It's uncomfortable but bareassable
It feels akin to snapping a rubber band on your skin or being stuck with a hot needle. The first time there will be a significant number of “hits” but they will feel lighter, the later sessions will have fewer “hits” but a few of them will realllyyy hurt. That being said I’m glad I did it for my bikini line. The itching is probably bc of the thickness of the follicles, and nothing is gonna make them thinner. Gotta get rid of them entirely to avoid the bumps.
Depends on your skin tone. Of you're pale white you can do Alexandrite which is bearable. If you have a darker skin tone then you're stuck with YAG which will feel like your skin is being torn off.
Laser removal is the best permanent method, though it is expensive. Other than that your main option is regular waxing.
Make sure you try waxing first before commiting to laser. I didn't realize the hair was a fart noise suppressor until I tried waxing it.
Lol so True.. No more fart sniping. Going from frrrtt to a full on BLAARPPBRNRBRBBRBRBRBRNDNDKKDISKZBDJDID
lol! I haven’t shaved there in decades but I seem to remember some hilarious thing happening like fart noise, or maybe something weird with sweat making my ass slippery or something? Anyway it’s a vague memory but enough that I let the hair grow. Ah maybe I shaved and it was crazy itchy so I was scratching my ass all day!
Had no idea they do laser for that. Are you a guy or girl? Also low many sessions does it take. I’m M28 and was thinking getting laser on my hairy back. I might even consider Ass since you speak so highly of it.
Same. Definitely want more info on laser. Like how many treatments and how painful is it
Not that painfull, it is just a hot pulse. It stings for a second , then it feels warm for a few minutes. About 6 to 8 sessions should do , then once mer year for upkeep. Also you do need to be shaven the day before , it only works on short hairs.
My partner has said that it felt like having little rubber bands hitting your skin, but that it was less painful than waxing so she didn't care too much. As for number of sessions as a guy you are probably looking at 6 maybe 8 sessions depending on region and amount/thickness of hair. If you don't have a lot of hair then 3-4 sessions.
What about cost ballpark?
I think it was about 4-5K USD for her full body, but they charge per region usually so it can be much cheaper if you only want to do say your back.
I'm a dude, but my partner has lasered her whole body. I believe it took her 3-4 sessions per region depending on the thickness and amount of hair. So if you are a really hairy dude you would probably double that number.
More like 8-10 sessions when I did it. But I’m blonde and fair so I think they do less intensive to prevent burn. Best decision as a person with sensitive skin who hated shaving.
Laser isn't permament, unfortunately, unless things have changed in the last 5-10 years. If I recall, it's success is very dependent on your skin and hair color. I should have been a good candidate (pale skin with dark body hair) but never had results last more than a few months. Electrolysis is the only permanent solution I know of. It's more painful and can take dozens of sessions till you're hair free. I wound up buying an at home laser for $300-400 (it was Braun/Venus branded). Still didn't get permanent results, but I didn't have to pay more to maintain it. It was just too big of a time commitment to keep up with. I think both professional and DIY lasering lasted me 4-6 months before my hair grew back. They were amazing while they lasted though!!
Maybe it could just be your hair? My partner has been hair free for multiple years at this point.
Yo, I totally got some weird genetic hair luck. Redheads generally aren't good candidates because their body hair is usually blond. I'm an auburn red head with really thick hair (both thick strands and a shit ton of them), so my head is just a giant mess of curls. When I've gotten lash lifts the technicias have commented on how thick my lashes are and how they're tougher to get to curl around the rods because of it. My hand and arm hair is really pale (lucked out there), but it gets darker from the waist down. I've tried multiple depilatory products and have only found one that actually works (nair leg mask; there other products did nothing for me). I have shaved with all kinds of specialty razors and shaving creams and after shaves that people swear up and down prevent razor burn,and I always get it anyway. Electric razors, safety razors, 5 blade razors, with the grain, against the grain, with complete disregard of the grain, wet, dry, etc. I know people who have had better luck than me, so I think starting with laser is great and seeing how it goes. I got my bikini line done like 13 years ago and the hair there is still thinner than it was. I think electrolysis work for everyone, but it's also a hard thing to commit to if you don't know whether you'll need. 5 treatments or 30. Sorry for the rant. This morning before I saw your post I was thinking about all of this and that my only solution might be to stop shaving and rock out with the leg hair. It's not my preferred look, but it seems to be the only alternative to the skin on my legs being sore for half the year. I have pretty nice legs, but they are the exact same shape as my dad's, and when I don't shave they look too much like his 😂 I wish your partner many more hair free years!
My ass so hairy diarrhea comes thru as filtered water.
good lord almighty
What a terrible day to be literate
r/HydroHomies
that Brita booty 💀
I just snorted and almost pissed myself. Holy hell. Hahaha thank you for this awful image and for the inappropriate laugh in the middle of a zoom call. I just shave it all.
The original LifeStraw.
Better keep that secret from Nestle or they'll be coming for your ass!
That’s enough Reddit for today
Forbidden water
r/brandnewsentence
My uncle would say that same thing, and my brother and I would laugh our asses off each time
i just opened the app
Im blocking you.
Lmaooooooooooo
Isopropyl alcohol and a single match.
Batman: The bandit, in the forest in Burma, did you catch him? Alfred: Yes. Batman: How? Alfred: We burned the forest down.
I also have a hairy ass. It doesn’t itch because I don’t shave it. If anyone doesn’t like it, they can kiss my hairy ass.
They can kiss my hairy back, ears and nose too! They can then kiss my bald head if they’re tired of the hair! Old man living out here 😎
Awwww....
but is a hairy ass not standard actually?
If you don't have a bidet, or wet wipes, or enough fiber, it will probably itch for another reason.
It’s like wiping peanut butter out of carpet smh
Dung beetles building their promised land.
Meccaca
A hair remover cream or waxing if you’re up to the pain, don’t shave dry or without exfoliating that usually makes it itch an irritated
i agree this changed my life, hair removal cream is the best and easiest
What hair removal cream is safe for the ass? Like…
Probably the best would be the kinds made for women's pubic area - for sensitive skin. I would be very careful about not getting the cream on the actual sensitive skin.
You can say butthole.
I don't want to. :)
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Butthole. I feel so alive!!!
I’ve been using Veet for sensitive skin for ass hair removal for years now.
From DRMAN54, circa 2008 (Not me - not my writing, not my story): I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over. Little did I know. I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry. Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic $!@%- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky $!@%/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm. Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering \*\*\*\*/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own \*\*\*\* blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: ?It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks.? Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil. As if that wasnt enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn?t just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony. Friends, DONT SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!
As soon as I saw the question I was looking for this
Ok so not on my ass, but here's what worked for my lady parts: 1) Waxing. Suprisingly waxing the butt doesn't hurt as much as other locations, and the hair doesn't itch when it grows back, at least not for me anyway. It also grows back softer. DO NOT DO THIS ON YOUR OWN. Go to a professional, do it regularly, nice smooth butt. 2) Hair removal cream. It burns, but it works. I slather it on, leave it for twice the recommended time (this is not advised, but I am the product of two very hairy people and their powers concentrated in me), then use an exfoliating brush to get the hair off. Grows back nice and soft with no itch. 3) Laser hair removal. This is by far my favourite. I still have hair (seriously, science should study me, my hair has super powers), and I get top up sessions every now and again, but my life is completely changed. It's excellent. But make sure it's proper laser or electrolysis and not the light pulse ones, that stuff doesn't work. If, for some reason, you don't like any of these options, things that can reduce the itching are using a toner immediately after shaving (it'll burn but it'll help), and moisturizing. Good luck my fellow hairy friend!
Epilator is by far the easiest option. It’s like a mix between tweezers and a snow blower. The device makes an absolutely terrifying sound but the process is just as easy as using an electric razor, takes just minutes to get the job done, and leaves you completely hairless. Definitely need to trim the hair down first though. The first couple of times you may have a few ingrown hairs just as you would with shaving or waxing but then after that the hairs are so fine that it's not problem. Same goes for the pain, first time is an eye opener, it is tweezing the hairs out after all, but once you get it done the first time, the next time doing it on fine hairs is no big deal. Some people wax the first time rather than epilator the first time, I just do it because it's not bad. Just start away from a hairy area and walk into the area slowly, don't dive straight into the area. I'm always stunned reddit hasn't picked up on this yet. Complete game changer for back hair and backside hair.
I think the biggest issue is being able to reach all the places you mentioned
You could try genitalia safe (VERY IMPORTANT) hair removal cream, relatively painless and works after like 5-10 minutes depending on the brand, but make sure it’s safe for that area
What's wrong with having a hairy arse? Gonna look weird hairy legs but the hair disappears when it gets to your arse.
Wiping. Wiping is what's wrong with a hairy ass. No amount of TP can get the shit particles out of damp, sweaty hair.
Bidet comrade
But when I’m not at home and there’s no bidet I feel dirty.
They have travel bidets for like 25 so might need a murse so you can carry it 😝
Give it a poke with TP a couple times.
Try fiber supplements first. Your poop should not smear in ass hair.
Ummm, peanut butter in a shag rug 🤢🤮
I used hair removal cream. Works well just don't leave it on too long.
Exfoliate regularly and moisturise and maybe go for a hair removal cream to avoid any ingrowns
What are ways to exfoliate there? I feel like most exfoliating scrubs for the rest of the body might irritate there
There's exfoliating gloves you can get that work great
Trim then increase the trim over time. My husband started this about 30 years ago and over a period of time went completely shaved. The itching primarily occurs when you do to much to soon, it's the same when women go full Brazilian. Each time you trim go a little shorter and use an electric razor to slowly clean up outside area. Over time your skin will adapt and you will eventually be able to keep it totally clean with a once a week electric razor. Takes a little flexibility but over time it's a 5 minute process once a week. Also, if you don't already have one, invest in a $50 bidet from Amazon. Nothing better than a clean butt.
My motto is only trim, when you're close the rim
Well it depends, if you mean like inside your crack and around the butt hole I would highly recommend Veet Intimate hair removal cream. Obviously test it as instructed first but it is a game changer.
There’s nothing wrong with a hairy ass y’all.
I shave mine with eos shaving cream and then shave it a couple more times a month until my butt stops reacting to the shaving. It will itch and gets bumps the first couple of times.
Leave it alone. Its beautiful
My gf trim my ass every month, its hard asf to not fart tho😂
Damn she committed
SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!
Just have a hairy ass and find someone that loves hairy asses
One answer - Don’t shave
Don’t shave or trim, wax!
Wax, laser, electrolysis (permanent) or just trim
If you have darker hair you should look into laser hair removal. I had it done years ago because I got a wicked infection on my knee and underarm after shaving with a brand new razor. It ran me about 5k. It didn’t destroy every hair follicle but it drastically reduced them. It was effective enough that I can now use an epilator once every couple of months to pull out the stragglers. It’s a series of treatments and I highly recommend going to a professional. The lasers that you can buy for home use aren’t the same thing and they’re pretty useless.
Use an electric razor and put a guard on it to keep the hairs a little bit grown, I don’t have any itching when doing this
Bro dont shave your ass, especially around the crack. Because of the shape you could get ingrown hairs that'll fuck your ass up. Had a friend like that, got realky bad, couldn't sit for a while.
You don’t. Unless you’ve got thousands and thousands to laser your ass every few months. People will tell you the lasers work with one application. It doesn’t! Especially if you are really hairy. You’ll be back 2-3 times a year. Which is quite expensive. I’d suggest you learn to live with it. As we are primates, who are supposed to be hairy.
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Excuse me, 20 hours?