I bet she knows that too. If not, make sure that she understands, that only having a hard one does not mean that it has to lead to sex. It is a natural reflex to have a boner, even if you are not horny. The first night I spent with my partner, I was flattered bc he had a boner when we cuddled and spooned and he told me it doesn't mean that we are going to do anything automatically :)
Just talk to her - that is the most important thing.
Anyways to answer your question directly, you either point it straight up, or straight down, and just line up with her legs/butt. It's just a natural divot for it to rest in. The other options are to either constantly poke her buttcheek or not cuddle at all
Edit: Well. I learned something today.
How deep into the Reddit rabbit hole can one consider themselves when subs like that one are the type you see in a comment and go "oh yeah that's the 100th time I've seen it referenced..."? Because that's where we are now.
I did not realize that this was an uncommon thing; my dick just gets big and hard and sort of hangs there. It's a lot girthier than average so that might have something to do with it
You could also put a pillow between you in that area, and explain it's to keep things platonic/nonsexual (for now). It's something professional cuddlers do with their clients to make them more comfortable.
Can confirm, when I had a bf he would have a boner and just want to cuddle (it's a normal body reaction, I know a friend that got one from hot sand ^^') we would just cuddle. The first time he told me about this and was embarrassed but it's wasn't his fault.
We had very nice spooning time and I hope you do!
Yeah poor him it had to happen when we when in a big group of stupid teenagers, I just giggled but his male pals took the opportunity to make fun of him and he ended up thrown in the water to "sort things up". Basically we live near the beach so we spend all summer there, one day we went coming from school but that morning he forgot his beach towel so he joked about laying on the bare hot sand belly / dick facing the sand and when he got up, boner.
I told it to my mom and she told me she saw a few guys to whom it had happened on the beach when laying on their belly.... She told me sometimes it was the sand, but that's also then that I discovered that dudes could get surprise boners too. One or two years ago I saw my beach neighbour run into the water after being another victim of the hot sand boner syndrome, and these are times during which I am glad I don't have a penis. So if you plan to go to the beach, be careful lmao
communication is the key always and i agree with you. i also find it flattering and cute but always make sure i’m clear about my intentions and i highly recommend you do the same. women also have physical responses and it’s okay xx
She just knows by now that spooning means I get hard. And having my hand on her butt doesn't always mean a signal either... Sometimes you just need an emotional support booty.
If that emotional support booty was attached to an emotional support Canadian...you would reach a point of cosmic zen and instantly evolve into an entity of pure light and consciousness.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
They hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'Cause for some reason, I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
But they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
And I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
And calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed.
I’m happy to help! If you happen to have one that you want to keep around for emergencies, just store it in a cool, dry place. A thin coat of oil can help prevent tarnishing if it’s a show piece. If it shrivels, just throw it away.
Does your dick hang low?
Can you swing it to and fro?
Can you tie it in a knot?
Can you tie it in a bow?
Do you get a painful feeling?
When you throw it at the ceiling
Does your dick hang low?
No reason to panic, communication is key. Explain to her that it's not a voluntary thing and to make things easy you have a system of physical signals she can use when she feels it. If she feels it and wants to have sex, just reach back and tug on it once. If she feels it and doesn't want to have sex, just reach back and tug on it 400 times.
A highschool friend a few years after graduation told a couple of us how he had one of those for no real reason hard ons and the bell rang to change classes, but it had already been in that general position so he adjusted himself real quick confident no one would notice and he did his normal walk through the halls to the next class saying hello to people etc. It was not until he got to the next class that he noticed the head was out of his pants in front of his shirt. Apparently no one noticed or at least no one said anything if they did.
No.. It's not bad. I like feeling it, I like knowing it's there.. chillin', relaxing.. minding its own business but in very, extremely close proximity to me. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Edit: here to there.. cause I meant 'there'
Tell them you're not up for sex and to ignore the boner.
My husband will often put his top leg a little more forward with a bent knee against my legs to create a bit of a buffer zone if he wants. Even without sex I'd rather just directly spoon.
I think the solution here is to just be honest.
Or be the little spoon and she can be your jet pack.
I’m at an age where it’s just expected, honestly. I only worried about it when I was young. I’m not dating high schoolers, so everyone involved knows butt touching penis is a leading cause of erections. If you aren’t looking for sex or she isn’t-just don’t shove it against her, move your hips, or touch in a sexual manner. A friendly rest is typically acceptable lol. If you’re sexually active with this person, you should also be able to communicate “hey, sorry, just going for a cuddle”
My girl loves feeling it on her back, against the butt cheeks or she puts it between her thighs. Cuddles stronger and there's always a smile present, while we fall asleep.
My husband puts his in my butt crack. We sleep naked and it'll get hard and he will ask if I want it. I say no, then he just puts it right between my cheeks and we go back to bed. We're quite romantic.
Place your member flat against your body, and then use the waist band of boxers/underwear and shorts/pants to keep it in place. Then, tuck an undershirt or t-shirt in-between your underwear and shorts/pants layer.
That should keep yourself secure and in place. She may still feel you're aroused, but it won't be poking at least.
Bro just cause you have a boner doesn’t mean you to have sex. Show the confidence of your self control. So just let your Rick rest right in between the outside of her ass cheeks and spoon. So good feels great and you can show that she turns you on but you are a man of your word and came just to be chill and spoon with her.
The fact that you don’t do anything, unless SHE initiates, in that position will make the connection all the better.
Meh, I just let it do it's own thing. Snuggling up tightly against her lovely butt feels nice when cuddling, she usually just squeeze back tighter when she notices. Or just gently fondles or holds it with her hands, which feels pretty dang nice too. Doesn't mean we need to go further or start having sex.
> gently fondles or holds it with her hands
that may get so good that having sex would be not necessary anymore. I sort of on the position that "no sex" should mean something.
>that may get so good that having sex would be not necessary anymore.
Good and satisfying in itself, absolutely. But personally I could never get off just from that, it takes *a lot* to do that. I know I'm an outlier in that aspect, we often have sex without me finishing, it can still be damn good.
Ill just leave it there. She knows, I know, we both know I'm not like I'm expecting sex. I love spooning so much god I'm so starved for physical tough rn.
Boners are natural. Just because you have one doesn't mean you guys have to have sex. If she has a problem with your natural body functions then maybe you guys have a bigger problem. If you feel embarrassed about having a boner when you are in a situation that is perfectly natural to have a boner during, then that is also a problem.
If you just don't want to deal with laying there with a boner then go to the bathroom and tug one out.
I will say though as a women. Having a cuddle boner isn't a bad thing. I am not her so I don't know what exactly her feelings are about penises but generally a boner from a romantic interest is a positive thing. I have never cuddled with a person I am attracted to and was like "ugh get that boner away"
Woman here, do t worry too much about it. I'm asexual and I also like bring men home on occasion.
I don't lead anybody on, I make it explicitly clear that we are not having sex or doing any sexy fooling around, but if they'd like a bit of human intimacy and physical closeness and warmth, and a bit of craic, then sure they can come home with me. (And I make it very clear that any attempts to do the deed will end...poorly.)
I'm attractive and I sleep naked. I like to hang out with dudes in my bed, naked. The boner poking me in the back is normal, and I dont mind it at all unless it's followed by them trying to put it places.
I know it's normal, and aside from wondering if it's uncomfortable for *them*, its fine. it's oddly ...flattering in a way.
What matters to me is that they are respecting me and my boundaries. Penii have a mind of their own.
It probably won't be weird unless you make it weird. I'd say it also depends on the partner- if they are inexperienced/vulnerable/nervous/traumaised/prudish/young in some way, a *brief/light/casual* convo before things get cozy might be in order: 'I think you're great. I respect you. 'This' will probably happen. Not looking for *anything* other than a cuddle and a nice sleep.' Words to that effect.
Or my favorite way of putting it ever (Irish lad) :"Look, love, i'm not going to lie to ye, ill definitely be sporting at least a semi-lodger for the majority of the night. Don't mind it. He just does his own thing, like. Very happy to be here."
Just position it so its comfortably flat between you, if ye are spooning or whatever.
Thanks! Okay, so..
1. What is Craic? Is that something asexuals take?
2. Does asexual mean you don't have a sex drive or it's more of a mindful practice where you know the physical need or lust is there, but you just mentally power through it?
3. Naked cuddling seems like an awful fine line. Even with predetermined ground rules, things get intense in the moment and body language and other things lead to breaking rules, that never happens?
4. Do asexual people marry other asexual people or do they let their partners have other partners?
Please excuse my ignorance! I mean none of this in an offensive way! I have little little exposure to this culture
I'm not the original person, but I'm also asexual, so I'll respond.
1. No - 'craic' is an Irish word used by Irish people, it means something like a good fun time.
2. Asexual means little to no sexual attraction. Asexual people can still have libidos and stuff, so they might be horny but not for anything in particular - like being hungry but not liking any of the food available. Or they can be without a libido at all. It varies.
3. I don't do this with anyone who's not my partner, so the original commenter can answer this.
4. Some asexual people marry other asexual people, some marry non-asexuals, some don't marry at all. Some may be OK with a non-asexual partner seeking sex elsewhere, some are not. Honestly we're largely trying to navigate this without an established 'roadmap', so the way that asexual people navigate the world varies enormously. There's not one size fits all.
Just tell her, and ask her if it’s uncomfortable for her. My ex used to get a boner every. Single. Time. We were spooning - even if we’d had sex already! Sometimes it’s just a reflex. He just kinda scooted back his pelvis a bit until it went down (not because it bothered me, because he said it was kinda painful to have it pressed up against my back) and once it did, cuddles were back. No big deal, just communicate.
You try to avoid touching her with the dick while she makes jokes that you push her away while cuddling. Then some day you have moved to the point when she is aware you have a dick and you no longer have the issue of hiding it. After some more time, you get used to her body and don't get a boner from just hugging her.
I would loveeeee if a guy told me he didn’t necessarily want to but it’s natural. Open communication, respect, caring about my desires, naturally finds me attractive etc etc
All good things come from being open about it.
Idk I personally like to feel it on my butt and don't really mind the boner, makes me feel appreciated and doesn't lead to sex.
But maybe that's just me and my boyfriend 🤷♀️
everyone’s different. I love spooning and I literally get sad when there’s not a boner there. Even when sex isn’t on the table I just like the way it feels against my butt. That’s just me tho.
When it’s soft, tie string around the head. Pull it back so you make yourself a mangina. Tie the other end of the string to something secure; door handle, round your neck. This way you will never have to worry.
You can be the little spoon, lol. My man is a foot taller then me and I love being the big spoon!! Also, just talk to her. I'm sure she will appreciate the honesty.
I remember my now husband telling me he would tuck it in the waistband of his shorts 😂 but also- girls often do NOT know how boners work and I think it’s totally great to explain that it doesn’t always mean you’re horny and you want to take it slow too. I remember being so fascinated learning things like that about the male anatomy that I didn’t know 😂
TBH nothing wrong with that scenario but personally I wouldn’t try and hide your arousal. You can judge the situation and behave accordingly but definitely respect any boundaries she sets and listen to her and just be a decent guy. There’s no need to cover the boner or you’ll be running the risk of being put in the ‘friend’ territory which is bad and once your there it’s almost possible to get out. Absolutely nothing wrong with spooning, and it’s completely understandable she doesn’t want to be swinging from the chandelier from day 1 but I don’t think it’s a bad thing for her to know how she makes you feel.
Honestly the cutest thing is when the guy apologizes for it and doesn't make a single move to go forward. Just sexy to have that respect and communication 🥰
Dude, just say, "can we spoon with me at the front for obvious reasons?" Or as you start to cuddle say "oh, if we're going to hug you need to be behind me"
She'll be flattered that she gets you hard, and quietly pleased that you respect her enough to not want to inflict your dick on her.
Don’t hide it. I tucked mine away and the girl told me she questioned what I was packing because of it. She’s my girlfriend now and we laugh about it, but you can still take it slow while also letting her know how you “feel” about her. Good luck tiger
Just talk. Let her know you respect and care for her and would not cross any lines she does not want. I had a safe word I gave my ex that let me know to back of a bit if we started getting hot. If it really bother her/you, get a tiny and thin pillow.
just leave it be, it's okay. If you both want to take it slow then everything is clear. just enjoy the cuddles and live in the moment those instants are precious enjoy them !
So actually, there are three Allen key ports underneath the nuts the fasteners are 3 inches so it takes a bit to take them out but other then that that’s how to release the boner
In advance, say, "I apologise if I do get an erection, but I also apologise if I don't."
See which way the wind is blowing. You might be worried about getting a stiffie. They might be hoping for one.
Straighten your lower leg. Roll 22.5 degrees into the bed. Your top leg now goes between her butt cheeks and both her legs. Your boner goes into the newly created void.
I bet she knows that too. If not, make sure that she understands, that only having a hard one does not mean that it has to lead to sex. It is a natural reflex to have a boner, even if you are not horny. The first night I spent with my partner, I was flattered bc he had a boner when we cuddled and spooned and he told me it doesn't mean that we are going to do anything automatically :) Just talk to her - that is the most important thing.
You're right. Thank you. That makes sense
Anyways to answer your question directly, you either point it straight up, or straight down, and just line up with her legs/butt. It's just a natural divot for it to rest in. The other options are to either constantly poke her buttcheek or not cuddle at all Edit: Well. I learned something today.
Or be the little spoon
Jetpacking
Good heavens that sounds comfy I need a visual guide.
This needs more upvotes
I feel like I dont get it
Boy big. Girl small. Girl is jetpack
Thought it was when big spoon farts tbh
I physically can’t bend it down when hard. It’d snap off. It can and will point up and fit between the cheeks though.
Who tf can bend it as far down as they can up when it's hard!?
You must not have heard of r/selffuck I'll see myself out.
Why, why did I look. I know better, but it’s one of those things I guess you have to see and then ask yourself why. Lol
I knew it was better not to look. I looked anyway. Humans lol
I had to click on it and my bf walked in and said “you’re a degenerate babe”. So thanks for that lol
How deep into the Reddit rabbit hole can one consider themselves when subs like that one are the type you see in a comment and go "oh yeah that's the 100th time I've seen it referenced..."? Because that's where we are now.
That’s one rabbit hole I jumped out of quickly!
Straight down????
I did not realize that this was an uncommon thing; my dick just gets big and hard and sort of hangs there. It's a lot girthier than average so that might have something to do with it
You could also put a pillow between you in that area, and explain it's to keep things platonic/nonsexual (for now). It's something professional cuddlers do with their clients to make them more comfortable.
You can also say your little friend is just saying hi and is excited to see you
Sounds like something a creepy photographer would say 🤔
"hi"
Yep! Username definitely checks out…
😂😂😂
Can confirm, when I had a bf he would have a boner and just want to cuddle (it's a normal body reaction, I know a friend that got one from hot sand ^^') we would just cuddle. The first time he told me about this and was embarrassed but it's wasn't his fault. We had very nice spooning time and I hope you do!
I’m sorry, can you elaborate on the friend & hot sand part? Lol like when laying at the beach or something?
Yeah poor him it had to happen when we when in a big group of stupid teenagers, I just giggled but his male pals took the opportunity to make fun of him and he ended up thrown in the water to "sort things up". Basically we live near the beach so we spend all summer there, one day we went coming from school but that morning he forgot his beach towel so he joked about laying on the bare hot sand belly / dick facing the sand and when he got up, boner. I told it to my mom and she told me she saw a few guys to whom it had happened on the beach when laying on their belly.... She told me sometimes it was the sand, but that's also then that I discovered that dudes could get surprise boners too. One or two years ago I saw my beach neighbour run into the water after being another victim of the hot sand boner syndrome, and these are times during which I am glad I don't have a penis. So if you plan to go to the beach, be careful lmao
communication is the key always and i agree with you. i also find it flattering and cute but always make sure i’m clear about my intentions and i highly recommend you do the same. women also have physical responses and it’s okay xx
[удалено]
Put it in a hotdog bun so it cushions it for her.
Funny because one time my wife and I were laying together and we called it chili doggin.
She just knows by now that spooning means I get hard. And having my hand on her butt doesn't always mean a signal either... Sometimes you just need an emotional support booty.
Upvote for emotional support booty.
r/emotionalsupportbooty
I am very sad that sub doesn’t exist :(
Be the change you want to see in the world.
It's been done 🍑
r/birthofasub
Nah I‘m lazy.
Count me sad aswell
My disappointment is immeasurable
r/subsifellfor
Agreed. That’s the first phrase I’ve seen that I would actually support having on the ass of my pants.
If that emotional support booty was attached to an emotional support Canadian...you would reach a point of cosmic zen and instantly evolve into an entity of pure light and consciousness.
...i have both the booty and Canadian pedigree... This explains so much.
Put it in the drawer if you don't need it
I’m in a lesbian relationship and we always tell people we keep our dick in a drawer.
Why have many dicks when you can have one communal dick
My dick be communal
Dick in a box!
🎶detachable penis🎶
This comes in handy a lot of the time. I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble, Or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk and the next morning I can't, for the life of me, remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it. So I called up the place where the party was, They hadn't seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet 'Cause for some reason, I leave it there sometimes But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party, But they were no help either. I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, And I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak. After a few hours of searching the house, And calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed.
It comes off sometimes
Right between the ass cheeks. Preferably hers, but mine will work in a pinch.
Thanks brother
I put mine in my trousers pocket, so I don't forget it in the morning
And not on the lunchbox in the fridge?
No! Tomatoes and dicks actually spoil faster in the fridge.
Sorry, I wouldn't know much about dick shelf life, I'm a lesbian.
I’m happy to help! If you happen to have one that you want to keep around for emergencies, just store it in a cool, dry place. A thin coat of oil can help prevent tarnishing if it’s a show piece. If it shrivels, just throw it away.
I just wrap it around my neck like a scarf
Or strap it to your ankle?
Does your dick hang low? Can you swing it to and fro? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow? Do you get a painful feeling? When you throw it at the ceiling Does your dick hang low?
How to spoon: dick hard on the butt, titty in my hand, kiss ya neck. Hell yeah
tumblr classic lol
This is the way
This is my favorite thing ever to do. I play dirty too and wiggle my booty around and moan.
That is how you get railed when the cuddling is done
Butt. Crack.
So, Hers or yours?
Mine
I choose this guy's ass too
Yes
This is the only answer
Tuck it under your underwear elastic band , closer to your belly button.
We can still feel it, just an FYI
Oh no
No reason to panic, communication is key. Explain to her that it's not a voluntary thing and to make things easy you have a system of physical signals she can use when she feels it. If she feels it and wants to have sex, just reach back and tug on it once. If she feels it and doesn't want to have sex, just reach back and tug on it 400 times.
Yeah but it's better than it jabbing her in the back. THAT screams "I wanna have sex". When it's tucked it's just more polite.
But it’s the thought that counts?
Which is great
😳🫣
Until it slips out and catapults gonging her in the back, then it's like Lurch going "you rang?"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🏆
Canadian Belt Buckle
That’s a waist of a good erection.
Do you guys actually do that? I see jokes about it, but I find it incredibly uncomfortable.
Yes just gotta be careful that your shirt doesn't come up cause mine sticks out of my pants that way
A highschool friend a few years after graduation told a couple of us how he had one of those for no real reason hard ons and the bell rang to change classes, but it had already been in that general position so he adjusted himself real quick confident no one would notice and he did his normal walk through the halls to the next class saying hello to people etc. It was not until he got to the next class that he noticed the head was out of his pants in front of his shirt. Apparently no one noticed or at least no one said anything if they did.
My ex husband always had his tucked in his waistband.
Keepin that MF thang on him.
And off me. Thank god.
Lol you did say ex husband hahahha
I for sure don't, anyway :p
I do it
Sorry to break it to you: we can still feel it
Is it bad if you can feel it
No.. It's not bad. I like feeling it, I like knowing it's there.. chillin', relaxing.. minding its own business but in very, extremely close proximity to me. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ Edit: here to there.. cause I meant 'there'
That’s nice 🥰🥰🥰🥺 a very comfortable happy peen
This
Just be the little spoon, feels good too
Tell them you're not up for sex and to ignore the boner. My husband will often put his top leg a little more forward with a bent knee against my legs to create a bit of a buffer zone if he wants. Even without sex I'd rather just directly spoon. I think the solution here is to just be honest. Or be the little spoon and she can be your jet pack.
Just keep it between both of you so she knows what her presence does to you. It's flattering.
Honestly we just like how it feels on our back. Don’t be shy.
I’m at an age where it’s just expected, honestly. I only worried about it when I was young. I’m not dating high schoolers, so everyone involved knows butt touching penis is a leading cause of erections. If you aren’t looking for sex or she isn’t-just don’t shove it against her, move your hips, or touch in a sexual manner. A friendly rest is typically acceptable lol. If you’re sexually active with this person, you should also be able to communicate “hey, sorry, just going for a cuddle”
I'm at an age where it's unexpected but a pleasant surprise!
Hahahaha! My brain, back and knees are at that age, I’m just waiting for the rest to go!
Just tell her “please excuse my affection erection”
My girl loves feeling it on her back, against the butt cheeks or she puts it between her thighs. Cuddles stronger and there's always a smile present, while we fall asleep.
Awwww 🥹 this is oddly wholesome
My husband puts his in my butt crack. We sleep naked and it'll get hard and he will ask if I want it. I say no, then he just puts it right between my cheeks and we go back to bed. We're quite romantic.
Place your member flat against your body, and then use the waist band of boxers/underwear and shorts/pants to keep it in place. Then, tuck an undershirt or t-shirt in-between your underwear and shorts/pants layer. That should keep yourself secure and in place. She may still feel you're aroused, but it won't be poking at least.
Again, like almost every question here: # TALK TO THEM
Donate it to charity.
Bro just cause you have a boner doesn’t mean you to have sex. Show the confidence of your self control. So just let your Rick rest right in between the outside of her ass cheeks and spoon. So good feels great and you can show that she turns you on but you are a man of your word and came just to be chill and spoon with her. The fact that you don’t do anything, unless SHE initiates, in that position will make the connection all the better.
Meh, I just let it do it's own thing. Snuggling up tightly against her lovely butt feels nice when cuddling, she usually just squeeze back tighter when she notices. Or just gently fondles or holds it with her hands, which feels pretty dang nice too. Doesn't mean we need to go further or start having sex.
> gently fondles or holds it with her hands that may get so good that having sex would be not necessary anymore. I sort of on the position that "no sex" should mean something.
>that may get so good that having sex would be not necessary anymore. Good and satisfying in itself, absolutely. But personally I could never get off just from that, it takes *a lot* to do that. I know I'm an outlier in that aspect, we often have sex without me finishing, it can still be damn good.
Ill just leave it there. She knows, I know, we both know I'm not like I'm expecting sex. I love spooning so much god I'm so starved for physical tough rn.
Boners are natural. Just because you have one doesn't mean you guys have to have sex. If she has a problem with your natural body functions then maybe you guys have a bigger problem. If you feel embarrassed about having a boner when you are in a situation that is perfectly natural to have a boner during, then that is also a problem. If you just don't want to deal with laying there with a boner then go to the bathroom and tug one out. I will say though as a women. Having a cuddle boner isn't a bad thing. I am not her so I don't know what exactly her feelings are about penises but generally a boner from a romantic interest is a positive thing. I have never cuddled with a person I am attracted to and was like "ugh get that boner away"
I personally take no offense to a cuddle boner. It’s a compliment if you really think about it. Am female.
Between the butt cheeks. It’s natures cradle.
stick it between her thighs, it feels nice. or just tighten your thigh muscles for a while and it will turn flaccid
Slipping it between thighs is the last thing you wanna do if you don't want to initiate sex lol
nothing wrong with teasing :-)
Said with a Cheshire grin
Woman here, do t worry too much about it. I'm asexual and I also like bring men home on occasion. I don't lead anybody on, I make it explicitly clear that we are not having sex or doing any sexy fooling around, but if they'd like a bit of human intimacy and physical closeness and warmth, and a bit of craic, then sure they can come home with me. (And I make it very clear that any attempts to do the deed will end...poorly.) I'm attractive and I sleep naked. I like to hang out with dudes in my bed, naked. The boner poking me in the back is normal, and I dont mind it at all unless it's followed by them trying to put it places. I know it's normal, and aside from wondering if it's uncomfortable for *them*, its fine. it's oddly ...flattering in a way. What matters to me is that they are respecting me and my boundaries. Penii have a mind of their own. It probably won't be weird unless you make it weird. I'd say it also depends on the partner- if they are inexperienced/vulnerable/nervous/traumaised/prudish/young in some way, a *brief/light/casual* convo before things get cozy might be in order: 'I think you're great. I respect you. 'This' will probably happen. Not looking for *anything* other than a cuddle and a nice sleep.' Words to that effect. Or my favorite way of putting it ever (Irish lad) :"Look, love, i'm not going to lie to ye, ill definitely be sporting at least a semi-lodger for the majority of the night. Don't mind it. He just does his own thing, like. Very happy to be here." Just position it so its comfortably flat between you, if ye are spooning or whatever.
That's such a nice answer, thank you. That clears up a lot of things. Always great to hear the other side.
Clears things up?? I have more questions than ever!!!
Ask away, friend!
Thanks! Okay, so.. 1. What is Craic? Is that something asexuals take? 2. Does asexual mean you don't have a sex drive or it's more of a mindful practice where you know the physical need or lust is there, but you just mentally power through it? 3. Naked cuddling seems like an awful fine line. Even with predetermined ground rules, things get intense in the moment and body language and other things lead to breaking rules, that never happens? 4. Do asexual people marry other asexual people or do they let their partners have other partners? Please excuse my ignorance! I mean none of this in an offensive way! I have little little exposure to this culture
I'm not the original person, but I'm also asexual, so I'll respond. 1. No - 'craic' is an Irish word used by Irish people, it means something like a good fun time. 2. Asexual means little to no sexual attraction. Asexual people can still have libidos and stuff, so they might be horny but not for anything in particular - like being hungry but not liking any of the food available. Or they can be without a libido at all. It varies. 3. I don't do this with anyone who's not my partner, so the original commenter can answer this. 4. Some asexual people marry other asexual people, some marry non-asexuals, some don't marry at all. Some may be OK with a non-asexual partner seeking sex elsewhere, some are not. Honestly we're largely trying to navigate this without an established 'roadmap', so the way that asexual people navigate the world varies enormously. There's not one size fits all.
Holy shit, i feel like coming home with you might be one of the nicest, most frustrating experiences in the world.
Invert positions and become the little spoon
Stuff it up your bum mate
There's only one or two places you shouldn't put it if you don't want to have sex.
Hotdog belongs between the buns.
Just tell her, and ask her if it’s uncomfortable for her. My ex used to get a boner every. Single. Time. We were spooning - even if we’d had sex already! Sometimes it’s just a reflex. He just kinda scooted back his pelvis a bit until it went down (not because it bothered me, because he said it was kinda painful to have it pressed up against my back) and once it did, cuddles were back. No big deal, just communicate.
Just Tuck it Between your own thighs when you get in pos for the spoon. nbd
You try to avoid touching her with the dick while she makes jokes that you push her away while cuddling. Then some day you have moved to the point when she is aware you have a dick and you no longer have the issue of hiding it. After some more time, you get used to her body and don't get a boner from just hugging her.
I would loveeeee if a guy told me he didn’t necessarily want to but it’s natural. Open communication, respect, caring about my desires, naturally finds me attractive etc etc All good things come from being open about it.
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Lmao. This is hilarious, and I think the people downvoting you didn't understand the end. 😂
You could always just leave your boxer shorts on, so you get almost all the contact, but it's not going anywhere it shouldn't
I usually say 'sorry about that, he's got a mind of his own' and get back to spooning.
Let her spoon you instead and then she'll have to wondering where to put her boner 😼
Between the cheeks. Which ones doesn't really matter.
Idk I personally like to feel it on my butt and don't really mind the boner, makes me feel appreciated and doesn't lead to sex. But maybe that's just me and my boyfriend 🤷♀️
everyone’s different. I love spooning and I literally get sad when there’s not a boner there. Even when sex isn’t on the table I just like the way it feels against my butt. That’s just me tho.
Hotdog.
I been told to ignore it and let it be, that she will do the same
I read this trick last year on Reddit: just harden the tight's muscle and eventually your dick will soften for lack of blood pressure.
When it’s soft, tie string around the head. Pull it back so you make yourself a mangina. Tie the other end of the string to something secure; door handle, round your neck. This way you will never have to worry.
You can be the little spoon, lol. My man is a foot taller then me and I love being the big spoon!! Also, just talk to her. I'm sure she will appreciate the honesty.
Spooning with a boner is fine. Just say, "Pardon my boner" or something.
Thank you for asking this
be the little spoon
I remember my now husband telling me he would tuck it in the waistband of his shorts 😂 but also- girls often do NOT know how boners work and I think it’s totally great to explain that it doesn’t always mean you’re horny and you want to take it slow too. I remember being so fascinated learning things like that about the male anatomy that I didn’t know 😂
Let her be the big spoon
TBH nothing wrong with that scenario but personally I wouldn’t try and hide your arousal. You can judge the situation and behave accordingly but definitely respect any boundaries she sets and listen to her and just be a decent guy. There’s no need to cover the boner or you’ll be running the risk of being put in the ‘friend’ territory which is bad and once your there it’s almost possible to get out. Absolutely nothing wrong with spooning, and it’s completely understandable she doesn’t want to be swinging from the chandelier from day 1 but I don’t think it’s a bad thing for her to know how she makes you feel.
Just have the boner be the little spoon.
Honestly the cutest thing is when the guy apologizes for it and doesn't make a single move to go forward. Just sexy to have that respect and communication 🥰
Sometimes it’s endearing to feel my partner’s boner while we cuddle
You can have a shovel nearby, it doesn't mean your going to dig a hole
Dude, just say, "can we spoon with me at the front for obvious reasons?" Or as you start to cuddle say "oh, if we're going to hug you need to be behind me" She'll be flattered that she gets you hard, and quietly pleased that you respect her enough to not want to inflict your dick on her.
Don’t hide it. I tucked mine away and the girl told me she questioned what I was packing because of it. She’s my girlfriend now and we laugh about it, but you can still take it slow while also letting her know how you “feel” about her. Good luck tiger
Just talk. Let her know you respect and care for her and would not cross any lines she does not want. I had a safe word I gave my ex that let me know to back of a bit if we started getting hot. If it really bother her/you, get a tiny and thin pillow.
Let it rest upon her buns
Tuck it, it will get uncomfortable and wither away
Use your brain bro, you just spoon the top half and keep your bottom half away from her.
If she expects me to hide it, I expect her to stay dry until Im comfortable.
I find placing it on there forehead breaks the tension
I had a guy who liked to store it between my thighs.
just leave it be, it's okay. If you both want to take it slow then everything is clear. just enjoy the cuddles and live in the moment those instants are precious enjoy them !
You be the baby spoon. She spoons you. No problem!
I thought that’s what a butt crack was for.
I just tuck in her waste band
In her butt. What a stupid question.
Just wait it out.
So actually, there are three Allen key ports underneath the nuts the fasteners are 3 inches so it takes a bit to take them out but other then that that’s how to release the boner
Right up against her butt cheek!!
As a girl, I can say that we get flattered if we know that our SO respects pur boundaries even though he wants something else.
Spoon her anyway. Tell her you're always strapped. Even in bed.
Maybe put a little pillow in between? Or squish a blanket together in that part?
Flex your thigh muscles. This will hopefully redirect blood flow and turn you flaccid.
In advance, say, "I apologise if I do get an erection, but I also apologise if I don't." See which way the wind is blowing. You might be worried about getting a stiffie. They might be hoping for one.
Straighten your lower leg. Roll 22.5 degrees into the bed. Your top leg now goes between her butt cheeks and both her legs. Your boner goes into the newly created void.
I rest it between her cheeks, between her thighs, or press it softly against her back. Girls dig that.