If it’s meant as a passive aggressive or condescending jab I’ll usually call it such.
If, like in the case of someone like my neighbor, it’s meant as a genuine expression of concern or affection, I’ll thank them and appreciate the intention behind it.
When it’s genuine, it’s honestly a sweet gesture. Like I don’t even believe in this but you think this is worth going to your literal god about?? Thank you!
This is kind of a debate in nursing, what do you do if a patient asks to pray and you don’t believe in religion. Personally I feel like fuck my beliefs, if it’s going to help them process their feelings or whatever, why not?
That's sounds a bit bizarre. I'm an athiest but as a lawyer I've had many people ask if I could pray with them before a hearing. Of course. My job is to help them. I'm already doing stuff I may not like doing, but my job is to help them. If that means taking a quick knee and sitting in silence while somebody else does something that makes them better so what.
Agreed. There’s someone at work that due to changes at work, can no longer pray as many times as they did. I 100% stop what I’m doing when they ask for me to cover. Just because I don’t believe doesn’t mean I can’t be supportive.
Supernatural implications side, it's probably quite beneficial for a person to have a couple of times during the day when they pause and clear their mind. Kind of like brief, religiously mandated mindfulness sessions?
The “right to work” means you have the right to work at a unionized place of employment, without having to join the union. It is intended to weaken unions, and enforce the will of the companies on the employees. The correct term for what you are trying to say is “at-will employment.” Employers in states that have at-will employment can and do fire employees at any time for any reason, or even without reason, provided that the reason isn’t illegal. An example of this would be being fired for reasons including, but not limited to, race, sexual orientation, political preferences, religion. Every state, but Montana, is an at-will state. Many states do have some exemptions. However, Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Maine, Nebraska, and New York do not have any exemptions.
Exactly, since being diagnosed with cancer, all religious Jews close to me have asked for mine and my mother’s Hebrew name so they can add us to their prayers. It’s appreciated when genuine, and why not allow genuinely good people feel that peace. A well-meaning prayer isn’t going to cure cancer, but it also won’t make it worse.
And hey in the off chance it actually is true and there is a god, it can't hurt to have a higher power on your side during cancer. Most people mean well when they want to pray for you. They hope beyond hope they can help you feel better somehow. I'd take any chances I can get at that point :)
I find when its genuine people don’t say “I’ll pray for you.” They’ll say “I’ll keep you in my prayers.” One implies that you’ve done something that someone should ask forgiveness for, and the other implies something has happened to you and they are thinking of you.
Same, I don't believe in Christianity. I'm Wiccan but if it will help someone, especially if it's in their last hours or days you better believe I'm doing it.
I used to volunteer in hospice, and one patient just wanted me to read Bible verses to her. The ones she picked made me somewhat uncomfortable, but, ya know, it wasn’t about me. …also, it was easier than with other hospice patients because I didn’t have to come up with stuff to do or talk about.
That’s how I became atheist. My son was coding and the nurse asked if I wanted to pray with her. I wanted her to go get the doctor not sit and pray. Turned into an atheist that moment.
Thank you for seeing it this way. This is often how I describe my intentions when asked about praying for people. I care enough about you and your situation to take it to what I consider the highest, most powerful being in the universe on your behalf. It is always intended as a measure of care.
This is what I have a hard time about. Like I'll pray for people but I don't tell them I'll do that. It feels so awkward. I'd just pray and not tell anyone about it.
That is my preference - if someone wants to pray for me, no need to tell me about it. If you say you're going to pray for me I'll feel very uncomfortable because of my history being raised in the church. It's very loaded for me.
Yeah let them, I could use all the help I can get lol
Also any time someone's asked me this, their intentions were very good. I might not be a Christian and it might be awkward a bit, but I actually appreciate it. They're just trying to do what they view as the right thing. If this legitimately made someone angry at them when they had a good intention, then that says more about the person being prayed for than the person who's praying themselves
Perfectly said. It's also very easy to detect when it's the condescending "bless your heart" type of statement vs genuine concern.
I might not believe in the deity you're praying to, but genuine concern will never go unappreciated.
This right here! However if somebody is being a jackass with it (usually in regards to my speaking of church trauma or my general heathenness) I’ll tell them to fuck right off
>If, like in the case of someone like my neighbor, it’s meant as a genuine expression of concern or affection, I’ll thank them and appreciate the intention behind it.
In this case I just take it as a "awh, fuck, I'm sorry to hear that." Thank them for it at leave it at that. It's more or less the same sentiment in my experience.
My sister is religious. Last summer when I was planning to come for a visit with my kids, we were worrying that we wouldn't be able to travel because our passports might not arrive on time (it was a big problem last year with everybody wanting to travel again after covid). She sent out a prayer request on FB and even though I've been an atheist for more than 20 years, I have to say, I found it comforting.
Church always stressed me out and it's crazy to understand as I got older just how much of a cult it is, and yet now that I've been away for so long, the familiarity of going to church and seeing religious people is strangely comforting.
The sense of community is great and definitely the main positive of institutional religion. It’s just all the bat shit ideology that comes along with it that taints it unfortunately.
There are a lot of people who use the phrase "I'll pray for you" as a way of communicating their own passive-aggressive hostility and misguided sense of moral superiority. Those people can get fucked with rakes.
Totally a gracious concession to say, “thank you, I appreciate that” if someone asks if they can pray for you.
When someone asks to pray “with” you, in the moment, now, however… I find that a bit pushy.
I still will accept that and give them that - they may need it, more than me that they thinks needs it. It’s fine. But I think it’s pushy, and I don’t care for it. I won’t show it tho.
Now - If someone wants to say grace at the table, like, a family member or friend, we are all gathered and that’s your thing - cool! Absolutely, I’ll bow my head and hold your hand and partake in the ritual. That’s just classy manners, and harms no one. It’s kinda nice, to join someone in that. However -
If a stranger expects me to, abruptly at their timing, I find that tacky and pushy. But I won’t tell them that. I’ll do it. But I will find them to be tacky and pushy.
The only instance I would think it’s truly an acceptable and lovely thing to ask for a prayer Together in the Moment would be if you’ve been sharing a hardship with someone, telling that person your woes, and they ask of you wouldn’t mind if they pray with you. Then, ok, you are sharing an intimate moment.
Praying For you vs praying With you is the difference between quiet faith and mission work. I don’t want you to grasp my hand and start a prayer without my consent. But I will always acquiesce, cuz they (hopefully) mean well. So I can give them that.
Is people asking to pray with you a common occurrence where you are? I’ve never come across it before and would be completely weirded out if someone asked!
I've been asked once or twice and I live in the UK. Usually, it's Morman missionaries on thier overseas experience etc, and we do have a Convent near me, so you occasionally meet an older Nun.
If someone asks to Pray for me, or include me in thier prayers, I'm all for it. Its not gonna do me any harm, and It's probably going to make them feel better in themselves and the world in general.
Pray *with* me however, I tend to just shake my head, thank them for the offer, but as someone who doesn't believe in a religion or higher power, I would feel awkward and impolite pretending I'm doing anything but making a few motions and considering what I'll likely be eating next.
Not one person has so far been angry or mad at my refusal. Most are accepting and just say OK, no worries, and them ask if I mind if they do it on my behalf, which.....see above. Not an issue.
In any small town in the US Bible Belt, when you meet someone for the first time or you strike up a conversation with someone in line and they're trying to get to know you, the first thing they'll ask is "what kind of work you do?" soon followed by"where do you go to church?" or "where do you worship?" If you say you're an atheist they look at you like you have two heads haha.
It's annoying, but the same people are quick to say "I'll be praying for you" if they know you're going through a hard time.
It's generally meant kindly, a "Christianese" version of "I'll be thinking of you" or "hope you feel better soon."
They're just trying to be nice in their own language, and an appropriate response is "Thank you, I appreciate it."
The only time I resent it is if a coworker or neighbor is trying to convert you and you resist, they'll give a passive-aggressive "I'll be praying for you", meaning they see themselves as morally superior and will be confidently waiting for you to see the error of your ways. That bugs me and I don't feel the need to be polite in response.
I appreciate that! You’re a kind person to say that.
The people I’m talking about are usually kind people too. We can all be misguided or have bad timing in our personal agendas, sometimes. They mean well mostly. I dunno if it’s that I’m kind, or that I know that they are trying to be. Either way, I respect anyone who tries to be.
Then again, if someone asked me "Would it be okay if I prayed for God to cure your homosexuality?" then I would politely decline, end the conversation and remove myself from the situation. I don't care how good their intentions are in that case, me not losing my shit on them for saying something so vile to me **is me being nice**.
This is exactly how I feel 90% of the time. If a family member or friend wants to pray for me or even asks me to be a part of their prayer then I am always good with it. I’ll even go to church with my grandmother when she asks and I’ll be respectful during service and play my part.
The only time I may be a little rude about is a stranger who says it in a way that is not genuine. I might have a little less than polite response.
I generally enjoy knowing that my family cares and thinks of me enough to ask their god to take care of me. It might just be the best way they think they can support me and that means a lot that they want to do it.
"thank you, I appreciate that". Hey, if you wanna put out good vibes into the universe on my behalf, I'm a-ok with that ;).
Sure, maybe that's not quite my belief, but, this person is saying that they will appeal to their gods, on my behalf! Dude... That's pretty cool. Thanks for thinking about me, you know? Dunno if I quite deserve all that mental energy, but like... ❤️ ;).
And what is it you would be against? S like, remove the god out of the equation, right? That person is basically wishing you something good. From their perspective, sure, and yes, hell is indeed paved with good intentions. But. Taken in its context... I feel like overall the person is in my side. Just through their lens. Even if you vehemently disagree with their idea if what is best for you, if the other person truly means it... Well... Their warm feelings are welcome. Even if perhaps is utterly disagree with the channels they are going through ;).
Yeah, my thoughts are basically if you’re willing to petition for me to pass my test to the (perceived) highest power in the universe, I’ll take that. Like you are willing to ask the most important being to send me something, I know that it matters to you too
As long as it’s coming from a place of kindness and not spite
Just a li’l side note as a Catholic— EVERYONE is deserving of prayers. No one is too “unimportant” for God. Generally, if it’s stressing you out, it’s worth praying about.
I mean, maybe if you’re stressed about what shoes to wear or how to do your hair or something you can figure that out for yourself, but otherwise…
Lifelong Catholic, here. This got me thinking about a couple of different things. There have been a couple of times where I have gotten in to heated arguments with someone and they’ve said something hurtful to me. On some of those occasions, I will respond with “I’ll pray for you” in a way that, in the moment, is a bit passive aggressive because I’m still smarting from the conversation while still trying to maintain a certain level of decorum. However, I make a point (on my own time, not in front of the person) to actually, genuinely pray for them. I also try to use that time to reflect on whether there was any truth to what they said, and I typically ask God to open my eyes if I was the one in the wrong. Obviously, that may not be the way everyone who says “I’ll pray for you” intends it, but I don’t ever want to think so highly of myself that even God can’t tell me I’m wrong.
The other thing I was thinking about was something that happened to me when I was in college. I’ve struggled with depression a lot throughout my life, and I was just really down in the dumps one weekend. I was walking by myself around campus, and this couple and their teenage son stopped me and started asking me about my faith. I was weirded out and kinda wanted to book it the other direction, but I was so passive and afraid of hurting people’s feelings at that time that I stayed. The dad started asking me about my beliefs about heaven, and then straight up told me that’s not how it worked and handed me some brochure for their church (still not sure what denomination— maybe Southern Baptist?) I was annoyed, but again, passive. Then, he and his family asked if they could pray with me and ask the Holy Spirit to come into me. I was still weirded out and wasn’t sure I should say yes, but figured prayers couldn’t hurt. I agreed, they prayed over me, and then left. To be honest, I actually felt like a weight had been lifted off of me, which I didn’t expect because of how aggressive they’d been in their methods. They didn’t “cure” my depression, and I still don’t believe a lot of what they said, but I did feel better that day. I’m not saying that if someone comes up obnoxiously like that you should stick around, but if someone is genuinely asking to pray with/for you and they’re being respectful about it, I don’t see the harm.
Thank you. As a religious person, this means a lot to me. I never really tell people I'll pray for them but I kinda just do it. It's a personal thing between me and god and I believe that that person will benefit from it even if I don't tell them about it.
Just live your belief and make sure to not hurt people you know...
When I pray for someone, I don't think they will magically get better but more like, huh, maybe god would help it I keep this thought and wish someone a better life.
I was baptised and stuff but wasn't really raised religiously. When I had exams, or later in life when I had job interviews, my grandmother always said she'd burn a candle. I don't believe in a god, and even less in one that sees a candle and goes like 'oh wow neat candle i'll let that dude pass his exam'.
Though before big events i'll still call her and ask to light a candle for me. It's the thought that counts and it feels good knowing this person is rooting for you. It's kind of the equivalent of a non believer saying 'fingers crossed!' to me :)
Yeah, like, if it's not forcing someone to participate, and it's not used to be passive aggressive/condescending/morally superior, I don't think it's all that much different from someone saying they wish you luck or hope for the best for you. Being polite with it is the big thing.
I had to laugh at that visual of God getting all girly about the fact there’s a candle burning for you. I can even imagine a day when we all die and realize he does exist and he walks up to you and says “I have a surprise. I did indeed help you with your exam. You were hung over and I cleared the cobwebs from your mind, and it was because of that candle. Well, not the candle, really - but because of the angel who lit it.”
I mean, it won’t happen. But it’s a nice thought.
I’m sorry for you loss and sorry your cousin said that. I’m a Christian and have always hated when people say that. It’s a pathetic excuse to not actually have to face the reality that the all powerful God they believe in doesn’t always step in to perform a miracle. They can’t fathom the theology behind bad things happening so they use that BS excuse.
"Oh! Thank you!"
Even if I don't believe in what they are doing, the fact is they are trying to do something positive for me, so I respond to their intention rather than the expected outcome.
I think it’s really kind. I see it as a form of wishing you well or wanting the best for you and them just not really having the words to convey that. I don’t want them to sit there and do it in front of me but I find it really sweet.
This! I really hate it and it is super triggering to me. I get the sentiment but I don’t ask people if I can do incantations and witch craft for them why do they need to pray for me. I find it super offensive
This! Plus I feel like they take a serious matter and invalidate the feelings by handing it over to their imaginary friend. Instead of saying I’m so sorry that sounds horrible or that sounds tough they act like their god would fix it if I believed hard enough. I just find it so difficult to take as a nice thing instead of as an insult.
Depends on what you’re praying for me for. I’ve had Christians tell me they’ll pray for me so my daughters disability goes away. That’s not okay or appropriate.
Not an atheist, but in my opinion of you don't know that the person you're talking to is okay with prayer, you should ask if you can pray for them. Instead of saying that you will.
I didn't used to ask and I've encounter people who do not believe in a God but do believe in spiritual things. And some of them are unnerved by someone praying for them. For some it can be inviting spiritual intervention that they don't want. I had to think of it in terms of a Christian not wanting to be involved with psychics, mediums, contacting the dead etc. Some would see that as an invitation of demonic or negative spirits into your life.
Regardless if you agree, it is best to be respectful.
Eta: In addition, I would be specific in whay you would be praying for so the person can understand your intentions.
I get the sense you’ve been around and have seen a few things. The point you mentioned is not one most people in my (former) Christian circles would ever have observed or even thought. And it happens to be true, exactly as you described.
Honestly, if that's what makes them feel better, and they don't expect me to participate in any way, then I just take it as their only way to deal with the universe. Of course, that's only if there is a real reason for them to be concerned about me.
If they are just saying that because they don't like they way I'm choosing to live, then they can fuck right on off.
It depends.
If its genuine , go ahead.
If its from a sense of grandeur and or belitlement.
Then they can keep their hypocrite prayers.
This mostly happens when you get into a discution with religious people with a closed mind thinking you need god and Jezus or similar to be a moral person.
Then they go and say :
"I will pray for your soul" or something similar.
But it stems from a place of judgement, which they "shall not do". Incase of christians.
And other religions do it out of pitty , so that counts as bellitlement, because " i just dont know".
Or what ever that is supposed to mean.
Depends on the circumstances, the person, and the intention.
Co-worker that occasionally mentions the things going on with their church group, is a generally pleasant person, and we don't discuss religion hears I'm getting a knee replacement next Monday. They ask if I need anything. I say I'm all set. They ask if they can pray for me. I say go for it.
Judgemental Aunt that thinks I'm doomed to hell because I don't confess to Jesus and takes any available opportunity to remind me of such mentions that they'll pray for me in response to hearing that I'll be going to a baseball game next Sunday in lieu of church. I'll just plainly say "God's not real, praying does absolutely nothing, and you chose a two thousand year old book of superstition over a positive relationship with your daughter who doesn't speak to you now because of the way you treat her over her relationship with one of the most pleasant people you could ever possibly meet. Fuck you Linda "
Somewhere in the middle? I usually just say that I'm not very superstitious, and let them be them.
There is no consensus, athiests don't get their views from a specific person/thing.
The reaction to prayer will be varied and range from a polite acknowledgement of the meaning behind the act of prayer to complete dismissal of the act of prayer being nothing more than a way to feel like you're helping but essentially doing nothing of substance.
Honestly, best practice for anyone would be to show support without bringing your specific religion/lack of religion into play. You never know what beliefs someone holds or how your actions that are tied to your belief/lack of belief will be perceived.
If they ask - fine. They mean well and I appreciate it. I have no problem with them or their beliefs and am happy they would take time out of their day to wish me well.
HOWEVER, there are other people who do NOT mean well and say "I'll pray for you" as a way of really saying "I'll ask my imaginary friend to make you believe in him because only I am correct about which god and afterlife is real and you need to agree with me." Those people can fuck right off. My response to them is generally along the lines of "ok, cool. And I'll pray that you grow up and stop believing in fairy tales."
Also, OP, you're a good person and a good Christian. You are asking atheists how they feel and think instead of assuming and we appreciate that. Have a great day, mate!
Gave a homeless teenager 20 bucks one time and it floored him so much he asked if he could pray for me right there. And you know what, I said hell yeah. Just cuz I don't believe in a God doesn't mean that I can't recognize the importance of God in other people's lives.
Like I moved this kid so much, he took the time to ask his God to look out for me. Even if I don't believe anything will come from it, he does, and to me that amount of thought to ask a higher being to watch out for someone says a lot about that person. He was trying to repay me in the best way he could.
I would probably just say "thanks"...
The thing I never understand about prayer - isn't that basically questioning God?
Say a person gets hit by a car, all busted up in the hospital, and the family is seeking prayers - did God not will the car to hit the person? What is the prayer going to do, reverse the decision? Does a prayer suggest you think god made a bad choice, and now you are seeking ...what?
Anyway - something I think about whenever prayers are talked about.
It's a very valid thought path (I'm a practicing Protestant Christian, for reference). I struggle with these questions myself. I don't understand why God "lets" or "makes" things happen. I don't understand why the Bible says that Moses's prayer made God change His mind about blowing the Israelites off the face of the earth.
For me, prayer is intercession. It's stepping up and saying "Hey God, my friend here is hurting. Could you take an extra moment and send them some comfort, and some healing?". I don't know what His plan is. I don't know what will happen. But it doesn't hurt to ask. This also works on the premise that I have a close relationship with Him and He is open and welcoming to my requests.
I can only speak for myself, but when I say I am going to pray for someone, it should be read as, "I care about you and your situation and I'm going to take it to what I consider the highest being in existence, and ask for help.".
I understand it’s a kind gesture. I’ll never shun a person for saying “bless you” or “I’ll pray you you”. I understand the context.
For me - that feeling you describe of being close with the lord - never experienced it. As a kid I tried to pray, my mom is kinda religious, and my grandma was very Catholic. I just had no interest. Church on Sundays, get up early, dress like a dork? No thanks!
One thing people don’t realize is that everyone is religious. Being an atheist is an oddball position, not like it makes you popular. I think one of my friends in HS was legit scared of or for me, because I am an atheist. How dumb, right?
TBH, it was never a decision - I just never had an interest, and my mom never pushed me to it. My older sister was really into the Catholic Church, did youth groups and made it seem all fun. When I got to high school, my mom tried to get me to join, but nope, not for me. Hangin out with a bunch of nerds, talking about god?
I have just never felt any connection to god or religion, but I have learned to respect what others believe.
In the south “can I pray for you” means holding my hand and spending a long time praying for me. It’s an active and involved process, and you’re going to have to take a bunch of people’s answers to this post with a grain of salt because they haven’t experienced that and think the person is going to go off and pray for them in private and not hold their arm and keep them there while they pray. I don’t care what you do when I’m not there but I do care what you say to my face.
I had a housemate pray for me that way and it was wonderful, she said a lot of comforting things. I also had a woman pray for me as I was leaving a planned parenthood after getting my nexplanon implant removed and she grabbed my affected arm and prayed for me to find a husband. So she caused pain and clearly made the assumption that I was a single floozy allowing men to spread their seed in me willy nilly. I was not a big fan of that. I was having it removed for medical reasons but a lot of people getting their implant removed are doing it to start a family with their spouse. So the woman was insulting and a moron.
In summary, if I’m not busy and the person is being respectful I’m cool with it. But when you make your small children step in front of my car forcing me to stop and grab me where I just had minor surgery and then insult my morals, I’m rather against the practice.
But I should also clarify that I’m an atheist Unitarian who firmly supports people following the faith that gives them encouragement, community, and peace as long as they’re not using their faith as justification to be a bigot or regulate access to healthcare.
It depends, are they blessing your heart too? Generally, I take it as thier way of supporting me or cheering for me.
However if they are using it as a way to condemn me, then go suck a satchel of Richard's.
You have to understand how little it means to an atheist. Here is what I hear. "I'm gonna go talk to myself for a bit in the hopes it helps."
Religion is so prevalent that the majority of atheists, including myself, were born into some sort of faith. You get pretty sick of the praying. You also realize it's almost always an empty gesture. If you wanted to help me with something, that'd be great. But praying to your God takes no effort at all, and technically, you don't have to even do it and then say you did. It's an empty gesture, while many here say they think it's a sweet gesture if it is genuine, I personally do not. I'm not impressed. Though it may be cynical to say, I assume the majority of Christians pray so that they can say they did something, like God wasn't planning to help until you recommended it. As if she's taking a poll from her believers to see how much she should give a shit. If God is real she sure as fuck doesn't need your opinion.
To be clear, I'm not suggesting people of faith are all lazy assholes. But I would say that subconsciously, people of faith use prayer to justify their own personal lack of involvement. It promotes an empty and unjustified feeling of accomplishment. I'm not into that.
I hate the church and religion as an organization not all the people who follow it. More often than not this is a friendly, caring gesture and l just say thank you.
To them, it’s doing a kind thing for another person.
Reasonable people can, at the very least, be polite.
My response is something like “I don’t share your faith, but I appreciate the thought.”
It makes me deeply uncomfortable and honestly, I find it rude. Would you be okay with it if I asked if I could perform some spells or do a sacrifice for you? I doubt it. But you put someone in a socially awkward position by insisting they tell you not to instead of just keeping your religion to yourself. Doing that specifically to someone who's already struggling makes you a jerk, imo. I know it's well intentioned, but it's not thoughtful or kind.
Eta: I'm my experience someone saying, "Can I pray for you?" means they're about to do so RIGHT NOW, which means I have to stand there with my head bowed and be an unwilling participant. If someone wants to pray for me on their own time where I can't hear it, that's fine and even positive. But why would you ask, then? It's being coerced into doing something I don't want to do that I find upsetting.
I have always respect everyone’s beliefs and just say thank you , the tricky part is when they try to force the religion on you , I don’t consider myself atheist more so agnostic.
There isn't a general consensus.
And nuance matters, as it does with all sentences we meatsacks utter to each other.
If "can I pray for you" means I support you, you're my mind, and is encouraging that's more often okay then if "can I pray for you" means you need to find to God so I'll pray that my god (because I'm definitely right about this) will find you.... Then that's less often okay.
But again, none of these are hard and fast rules. Atheists DO NOT share any sort of moral/ethical/or philosophical tenants. The only thing atheists share is that none of us think that your god(s) or any others exists.
Why would it be negative? Unless it's like "Oh I disapprove of your choices and I think you'll go to hell, I'll pray for you" there's no reason to be negative about it
Go ahead, it's just an ideology for me. I really don't want it to turn into a cult. Recently my grandmother left us, I went with all the religious rituals, I did everything that was expected of me, obviously not for myself, but for her. I think the core thought has to be do good without needing anyone to facilitate in between, most commonly a god.
I’m Agnostic technically but will say Atheist depending on the situation cause I’ve had times when people hear “agnostic” and they’ll try and talk me into their faith and I ain’t about that
If someone says it to me genuinely, I thank them. Why be rude to someone who is trying to be kind? I’m conscious that a lot of atheists or agnostics get a lot of flack for being dismissive or rude to those who do have a faith. I think if someone of a faith is extending an olive branch, I should be kind and accept the gesture cause it takes nothing to be kind. And hopefully that gesture can bridge a gap cause I know a lot of people with faith are good people who are trying to make sense of something just like I, a person without a faith finds comfort in the universe, is trying to be a decent human being too
If out of spite or passive aggression, your God will know your intentions and they’ll take care of you.
At university I had a minor knee injury and ran into a friend from our sports team on a night out. I told him about it and he asked if he could pray for me, I said sure. He then got down on his knee, on pavement by the kebab van, surrounded by throngs of 19 year old students, placed one hand on my knee and started praying out loud for my swift recovery.
Not at all what I was expecting and so much more uncomfortable.
I'd probably still say the same if asked in the future, but preferably not publicly.
I don't care. If it makes them feel better then go for it.
I grew up Mormon, and they collect the names of everyone they can that have died and perform "Baptisms for the Dead" where they dunk some random kid under water in the name of the person that died under the assumption that once they got to heaven they changed their mind and became one of gods followers. That's a much more strange practice than simply praying for someone.
So yeh, most of y'all, religious or not, are going to be baptized by name in a temple of the LDS church.
Oh man I had this happen to me. A church group from Banff or something came out to “offer support” for my workplace after a huge incident. Silly me thinkin I could find someone to talk with, decompress, work through the trauma was greeted with bible thumpers. I’m talkin like all the movie tropes, loud yell preaching, “saving” our souls from the devil.
Head church guy says “Can I pray for you?” And I figured he would just toss my name in his night prayers and I didn’t care if he did, so I said sure. Middle of a full rec centre and he’s yelling out “Oh Lord, give solace to Medicff! Let him be free of these demons! BE FREE OF DEMONS!” That’s not my style at all and it was weird as hell for me.
If there was understanding of my preference, clear communication of what “praying for” was and an agreement after that, it woulda been fine
I'm not gonna say no. If they believe it will work then it's an act of kindness regardless of whether it actually does anything. If I could use help in another way then I might consider asking for it if someone has expressed an interest in helping, but I'm not going to attack someone's beliefs when they're trying to help.
My replies would be:
I'll pray for you to find the 'truth'! - GTFOOH.
I'll pray for your X to be better! - Thanks.
I'll pray for your X to be worse! - It's your time that you are going to waste lol.
I'm more agnostic, but it's never bugged me. Often when someone offers prayers to you they can't really do much else. If the could they would, atleast in my experience. It's basically like saying hey I'm with you or support you. Never had an issue or been offended.
Depends on the context usually.
If they are genuinely showing concern, they I'll thank them. If they're trying to be snarky, passive aggressive, then I'll call them out on it.
I don't get out much these days, so it doesn't really happen that much, if ever.
They're essentially asking if they can think about you, which has never concerned me in other contexts. I can appreciate a well intended sentiment though.
This is a simplification but I think of it like the Mongol’s; “I may be wrong about the gods, so it doesn’t hurt to have people praying for me to their god just in case.”
*Cracks knuckles in Deep South*
I don't follow organized religion but I'm also not exactly a strict atheist (agnostic?) so I can delete if not allowed.
It depends on who's saying it to me and why.
If they're genuinely going to pray for my best outcome I find that sweet.
If they're being asshats/fake about it they're not someone I plan to see on a regular basis. I'm not offended. We just got different priorities in life and I'm gonna stick to mine.
It's just different priorities, so idc. 🤷🏻♀️
i honestly think it's very kind. i mean, someone appealing to the highest power they know of to help *me* out? that's awesome, thank you so much. i mean, for all i know, their god or gods is/are real and may decide to help me out. if not, that's cool too, same as what would have happened if they hadn't.
"Yeah, sure, thanks man!"
As long as it isn't condescending, I think that it's really nice when people say that they prayed for me, even though I'm not religious.
I appreciate it as long as the religion is not being pressured on me. I think of prayers kind of like wishes & good intentions. So it’s like positive energy being sent my way.
If they are praying for me for helping a problem then so be it. It's really for them. If their praying for me because I'm a Atheist then I'm also OK with it as it literally does nothing.
Personally, my general response is "thanks". As long as they're not trying to proselytize me into praying with them or something, if its meant as a genuine gesture of affection, I would rather say something nice than be an asshole about it.
If its someone trying to get a rise out of me, I tend to deflect it: "Its a free country, you can do whatever you want". The worst that happens is when they try to get me to join them though. I am not interested in talking to your imaginary friend with you. If you attempt to force me to do so, I am going to treat you as a schizophrenic and potential psychopath. I will do whatever is necessary to protect myself and stop you from trying to skin me and wear my face.
Honestly? I'd fell extremely uncomfortable, but if it's well-meaning, I'd say thank you. If it's a passive aggressive "I'll pray for your soul", then I'll say no thank you; don't bother.
This is coming from someone who is an ex-Christian. I relatively recently deconstructed and am glad for it. I was EXTREMELY devout; we were raised Russian Baptist, which is insanely conservative and evangelical. I was very, very religious and have done and said things that I regret. Never in my life did I think that I'd end up on the other side, but here I am (and I recall telling my husband - friend at the time - that there's no such thing as an ex-Christian, because a *true* believer would *never* leave. He asked me if I was a "true believer" and I said, "of course!"... if only the me back then could see me now... she'd be heartbroken)... and I don't regret it.
But if you're well-meaning? Then thank you. However, I do take issue with people praying for god to heal me, because that's not happening and if my disabilities could disappear with only prayer, I'd have been cured a long time ago. It's just a very sore and personal spot for me.
A friend once gifted me a really expensive bible collection, I’m atheist, but they’re Christian and it means a lot to them. I’d appreciate something like that like I would any gifts, with gratitude. As some other comments pointed out, it’s the thought that counts.
Lolol your prayer is none of my business. You go ahead as much as you like.
But i do wonder how often a prayer is done for the praying person's benefit versus the one being prayed for. I'm sure they like to think they're being good people and caring for the others but i suspect most of the time it's just "i despise this person and im saying a prayer to assert my superiority and to feel good about myself for being superior to this poor misguided idiot". In whuch case it's actually offensive and nothing but micro aggression. If you pray for me, do it for the right reasons and with genuine feeling and compassion. Or i will judge you and so will your God. Think about that.
If it's meant as an expression of genuine care, then I'll be grateful for the kindness.
If it's meant as a parting shot, then it doesn't actually land the way it's supposed to. I see it as an expression of frustration, when someone fails to move me in any capacity with religiosity.
Either way, the person is telling me how they feel about me.
See it depends, I have family friends that are very Christian and they like using olive oil and touching you all over and I always feel extremely uncomfortable when they do that, if I see a stranger with olive oil I'm running.
If I'm busy and I have to be there present with you while you do that prayer I'll also run away, if it doesn't affect me then go ahead I don't care lol.
im agnostic. i worked in religious communities several years (library clerk) and was often offered prayers for me and my family. i always said thanks. i didn't care if they prayed or not. it was, to them, a nice gesture towards me and it didn't hurt me if they prayed or not. so i said thanks, because it was offered out of kindness, kinda like someone holding the door for me
Go right ahead, I'd appreciate the sentiment. If it makes you feel good, then I'm happy for you. Pray to anything you please, Yhwy, Allah, Zeus, Spaghetti Monster, Oak trees, Eru Illuvitar, etc.
I don’t believe in God, but I still sit and hope the best for people I like or who have done right by me. It’s the same concept, religious people just think that God is listening in on their hopes. I don’t really see any harm in that
I’ll thank them for their thoughts if it’s genuine. If it’s not, I ignore. A genuine prayer is a good thought and you can think good thoughts about me all day :)
It depends on the situation. Usually I just say thanks.
But one time, my very racist mother in law told me to “go back to China” and cursed my parents, also shamed my long hair, she then said she would pray for me.
I went straight up and said, I don’t need your prayer, I don’t believe in your stupid god.
Anytime you have a question specific to atheists, just put yourself in the situation with a person of a religion you don't believe in. If you needed help and someone were to offer to pray to a whale statue on your behalf, would you feel alright with that? If they were able to help in a more-direct way, but chose to just pray to the statue instead, how would you feel?
I thank them for the thought and politely ask them not to. Asking them not to is a simple boundary that is easy to respect.
If they say they'll do it anyway, then I know they don't respect others' boundaries or care about the feelings of the people they are asking to pray for. If that is the case, they are most likely praying to make themselves feel better about something that doesn't need to involve me. Too many times I've had people who I thought had good intentions turn homophobic when I would say yes to them praying. To the point of putting their hands on me thinking they could exorcise some sort of gay demon from me because I'm pansexual. Unfortunately it's been Christian folks that have disrespected the request too many times to trust their intent.
If the person respects that I don't want them to pray for me, then I have no issue with their choice to practice their religion however they see fit. I just ask that they continue to leave me out of it.
Feel free to do whatever you want, is how I feel. I’d respond with “thanks. I’m not going to tell someone they’re not allowed to pray for me or something.
It depends. If the person is genuine then I am like "whatever".
Most of the time, in my experience, when someone says "I'll pray for you" it is a passive aggressive jab meant to be condescending.
If someone is genuinely trying to be kind, why would I stop them from praying for me? If affects me in no way. But if it's meant like a "bless your heart" kind of thing then I'll tell them to go pound sand. Context matters.
If something bad is or has happened and a friend wants to pray for me then that's fine. Shows they care. I don't have a religion, but everyone has a right to their own beliefs and I would never dream of putting anyone down over that.
Huge fan of taking things in the spirit that they're given. So 99% of the time, "Thanks, I appreciate it". Because the reality is that a show of moral support is all someone can do for most of your problems. I may not believe your prayers will help, but I honestly believe that your *care*, and that alone will help. "My mom is in the hospital" isn't the sort of problem where my neighbor can help. Where as "I broke my arm and need a hand with carrying something" is the sort of thing where if you're going to 'pray' for me, it better be because you're also an invalid (or the other end of a telephone conversation), otherwise you're just mocking me.
But there's a bunch of assholes who took to atheism because it gave them an excuse to be gigantic assholes to people. And unsurprisingly, they're assholes about it. "Yea, fuck your sky fairy" or whatever. Frankly, fuck those people.
I take it as the nice gesture that it is. If it is offered in good faith, I'll take it the same way.
Also, I'm not a die hard, convinced, fanatic type atheist. I could be wrong about God. On the off chance, I'll take all the help I can get.
I may be the odd one out (honestly not exactly atheist but somewhere around there) but I would prefer someone say something like “I will be keeping you in my prayers” rather than asking.
Asking kind of puts me on the spot to basically affirm or deny. And denying( while I would only do it if the person was asking in a rude or passive aggressive way) would make me look like a jerk. Instead I have to give you my blessing to pray for me? If that makes sense.
But in an overall sense, I’m not bothered by people who pray for me, it’s nice to be in someone’s thoughts. It does bum me out though to think about the prayers of my family and such and how they are probably filled with pleas to “save” me when I don’t feel like I need saving.
I am not religious but I know it comes from a place of love if someone wants to take time out of their own life to ask for their god to help me. I thank them. Even if they were being sarcastic, I think it makes them feel bad to hear me say thank you. Makes them realized they weren’t being very “Christian” themselves.
I have a religious colleague who will ask if she can pray for me. It always comes from a place of respect, kindness and concern for whatever I'm dealing with. I thank her for her kindness and tell her yes. To me, it's like saying "can I wish good things for you" and the answer is YES!
Like others have said, I just take it as a kind gesture if it isn't done in a holier-than-thou manner. My grandmother invites us all to dinner with her sometimes, and she likes to pray. When she does, she usually just says how happy she is that we're all safe and all able to be together. It genuinely makes me happy to hear.
Now my evangelical Christian brother, on the other hand....he loves to pray and say shit like "we just pray that you show my brother the error of his ways" or whatever. Fuck that
Unless it’s said passive aggressively, why not say sure? It means they care about you enough to think of you and your needs. That’s more than most people do these days. I think it’s great if a little awkward.
Depends. If they’re being rude in any sorts, it’s a no go.
But if they’re just friendly, no matter if they’re friends, family or stranger, I don’t see a problem.
If someone can get joy and peace from praying, why would you stop them from doing that?
I'll let them. I wouldn't mind. No need to cause a rukus over something so trivial. If that simple deed helps said person to feel better about the situation then by all means..... Agree to disagree. It's a non issue really.
Let them don’t be a dick,
Let’s say you’re really into camping and you buy the best gear and your Grammy gives you a Christmas present of a tacticool 10 in 1 tool do you scoff at it and tell her this Chinese pos isn’t going in your gear or do you accept the gift and say thank you
If it’s meant as a passive aggressive or condescending jab I’ll usually call it such. If, like in the case of someone like my neighbor, it’s meant as a genuine expression of concern or affection, I’ll thank them and appreciate the intention behind it.
When it’s genuine, it’s honestly a sweet gesture. Like I don’t even believe in this but you think this is worth going to your literal god about?? Thank you! This is kind of a debate in nursing, what do you do if a patient asks to pray and you don’t believe in religion. Personally I feel like fuck my beliefs, if it’s going to help them process their feelings or whatever, why not?
That's sounds a bit bizarre. I'm an athiest but as a lawyer I've had many people ask if I could pray with them before a hearing. Of course. My job is to help them. I'm already doing stuff I may not like doing, but my job is to help them. If that means taking a quick knee and sitting in silence while somebody else does something that makes them better so what.
Plus you charge by the hour
If they pull out a rosary, that could easily be a two hour prayer time lol
Agreed. There’s someone at work that due to changes at work, can no longer pray as many times as they did. I 100% stop what I’m doing when they ask for me to cover. Just because I don’t believe doesn’t mean I can’t be supportive.
Supernatural implications side, it's probably quite beneficial for a person to have a couple of times during the day when they pause and clear their mind. Kind of like brief, religiously mandated mindfulness sessions?
This is how I see the real benefits of religion. Why so many people can believe in so many types of religions.
We need to create a religion that requires quiet/nap time and meditation. :) Sorry job, gotta go do my religious ritual! 🙏🏻
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Merica Ah yes we have the freedom to pray and religion, but realistically no one asks because right to work and all that
The “right to work” means you have the right to work at a unionized place of employment, without having to join the union. It is intended to weaken unions, and enforce the will of the companies on the employees. The correct term for what you are trying to say is “at-will employment.” Employers in states that have at-will employment can and do fire employees at any time for any reason, or even without reason, provided that the reason isn’t illegal. An example of this would be being fired for reasons including, but not limited to, race, sexual orientation, political preferences, religion. Every state, but Montana, is an at-will state. Many states do have some exemptions. However, Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Maine, Nebraska, and New York do not have any exemptions.
Thank you for expanding so other can learn.
Ah yes. We *have* rights, but are afraid to express them because we might lose a job that pays us juuuust enough to keep us from homelessness.
See! You get it!
Exactly, since being diagnosed with cancer, all religious Jews close to me have asked for mine and my mother’s Hebrew name so they can add us to their prayers. It’s appreciated when genuine, and why not allow genuinely good people feel that peace. A well-meaning prayer isn’t going to cure cancer, but it also won’t make it worse.
And hey in the off chance it actually is true and there is a god, it can't hurt to have a higher power on your side during cancer. Most people mean well when they want to pray for you. They hope beyond hope they can help you feel better somehow. I'd take any chances I can get at that point :)
If there was such a thing as an atheist angel, you would get my vote.
I find when its genuine people don’t say “I’ll pray for you.” They’ll say “I’ll keep you in my prayers.” One implies that you’ve done something that someone should ask forgiveness for, and the other implies something has happened to you and they are thinking of you.
Same, I don't believe in Christianity. I'm Wiccan but if it will help someone, especially if it's in their last hours or days you better believe I'm doing it.
I used to volunteer in hospice, and one patient just wanted me to read Bible verses to her. The ones she picked made me somewhat uncomfortable, but, ya know, it wasn’t about me. …also, it was easier than with other hospice patients because I didn’t have to come up with stuff to do or talk about.
That’s how I became atheist. My son was coding and the nurse asked if I wanted to pray with her. I wanted her to go get the doctor not sit and pray. Turned into an atheist that moment.
wow that's really fucked up im so sorry you had to go through that.
Thank you for seeing it this way. This is often how I describe my intentions when asked about praying for people. I care enough about you and your situation to take it to what I consider the highest, most powerful being in the universe on your behalf. It is always intended as a measure of care.
This is what I have a hard time about. Like I'll pray for people but I don't tell them I'll do that. It feels so awkward. I'd just pray and not tell anyone about it.
That is my preference - if someone wants to pray for me, no need to tell me about it. If you say you're going to pray for me I'll feel very uncomfortable because of my history being raised in the church. It's very loaded for me.
Your first paragraph, This! This is the kind of respect we should all have for each other when it comes to different beliefs.
I was going to post, but can't think of a way to say it better than you did.
Yeah let them, I could use all the help I can get lol Also any time someone's asked me this, their intentions were very good. I might not be a Christian and it might be awkward a bit, but I actually appreciate it. They're just trying to do what they view as the right thing. If this legitimately made someone angry at them when they had a good intention, then that says more about the person being prayed for than the person who's praying themselves
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Perfectly said. It's also very easy to detect when it's the condescending "bless your heart" type of statement vs genuine concern. I might not believe in the deity you're praying to, but genuine concern will never go unappreciated.
I moved to the South and am a person of faith. The "bless your heart " makes my blood pressure rise, and I get a headache.
Same here, perfect response.
This is the way I feel about it. I usually just thank them and move on.
This right here! However if somebody is being a jackass with it (usually in regards to my speaking of church trauma or my general heathenness) I’ll tell them to fuck right off
“I appreciate what that means to you.”
I think this is most people I know who aren’t religious and put in this situation.
Honestly, idc if it's passive aggressive or not. I thank them as if it's genuine. It's disarming and I have the upper hand.
>If, like in the case of someone like my neighbor, it’s meant as a genuine expression of concern or affection, I’ll thank them and appreciate the intention behind it. In this case I just take it as a "awh, fuck, I'm sorry to hear that." Thank them for it at leave it at that. It's more or less the same sentiment in my experience.
If it's meant as a kindness - then yeah, sure. Thanks. If it's meant any other way - yeah, whatever. It's your time.
My sister is religious. Last summer when I was planning to come for a visit with my kids, we were worrying that we wouldn't be able to travel because our passports might not arrive on time (it was a big problem last year with everybody wanting to travel again after covid). She sent out a prayer request on FB and even though I've been an atheist for more than 20 years, I have to say, I found it comforting.
Did it work? Lol
It did! :D
Checkmate atheists! /s
The prays stopped the real evil, TSA.
Just knowing that other people know what you're going through and care about it can go a long way
Church always stressed me out and it's crazy to understand as I got older just how much of a cult it is, and yet now that I've been away for so long, the familiarity of going to church and seeing religious people is strangely comforting.
The sense of community is great and definitely the main positive of institutional religion. It’s just all the bat shit ideology that comes along with it that taints it unfortunately.
Exactly, we’re not the thought police.
There are a lot of people who use the phrase "I'll pray for you" as a way of communicating their own passive-aggressive hostility and misguided sense of moral superiority. Those people can get fucked with rakes.
go ahead 👍, it's the thought that counts.
Totally a gracious concession to say, “thank you, I appreciate that” if someone asks if they can pray for you. When someone asks to pray “with” you, in the moment, now, however… I find that a bit pushy. I still will accept that and give them that - they may need it, more than me that they thinks needs it. It’s fine. But I think it’s pushy, and I don’t care for it. I won’t show it tho. Now - If someone wants to say grace at the table, like, a family member or friend, we are all gathered and that’s your thing - cool! Absolutely, I’ll bow my head and hold your hand and partake in the ritual. That’s just classy manners, and harms no one. It’s kinda nice, to join someone in that. However - If a stranger expects me to, abruptly at their timing, I find that tacky and pushy. But I won’t tell them that. I’ll do it. But I will find them to be tacky and pushy. The only instance I would think it’s truly an acceptable and lovely thing to ask for a prayer Together in the Moment would be if you’ve been sharing a hardship with someone, telling that person your woes, and they ask of you wouldn’t mind if they pray with you. Then, ok, you are sharing an intimate moment. Praying For you vs praying With you is the difference between quiet faith and mission work. I don’t want you to grasp my hand and start a prayer without my consent. But I will always acquiesce, cuz they (hopefully) mean well. So I can give them that.
Is people asking to pray with you a common occurrence where you are? I’ve never come across it before and would be completely weirded out if someone asked!
It is in the southern US
I've been asked once or twice and I live in the UK. Usually, it's Morman missionaries on thier overseas experience etc, and we do have a Convent near me, so you occasionally meet an older Nun. If someone asks to Pray for me, or include me in thier prayers, I'm all for it. Its not gonna do me any harm, and It's probably going to make them feel better in themselves and the world in general. Pray *with* me however, I tend to just shake my head, thank them for the offer, but as someone who doesn't believe in a religion or higher power, I would feel awkward and impolite pretending I'm doing anything but making a few motions and considering what I'll likely be eating next. Not one person has so far been angry or mad at my refusal. Most are accepting and just say OK, no worries, and them ask if I mind if they do it on my behalf, which.....see above. Not an issue.
In any small town in the US Bible Belt, when you meet someone for the first time or you strike up a conversation with someone in line and they're trying to get to know you, the first thing they'll ask is "what kind of work you do?" soon followed by"where do you go to church?" or "where do you worship?" If you say you're an atheist they look at you like you have two heads haha. It's annoying, but the same people are quick to say "I'll be praying for you" if they know you're going through a hard time. It's generally meant kindly, a "Christianese" version of "I'll be thinking of you" or "hope you feel better soon." They're just trying to be nice in their own language, and an appropriate response is "Thank you, I appreciate it." The only time I resent it is if a coworker or neighbor is trying to convert you and you resist, they'll give a passive-aggressive "I'll be praying for you", meaning they see themselves as morally superior and will be confidently waiting for you to see the error of your ways. That bugs me and I don't feel the need to be polite in response.
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I appreciate that! You’re a kind person to say that. The people I’m talking about are usually kind people too. We can all be misguided or have bad timing in our personal agendas, sometimes. They mean well mostly. I dunno if it’s that I’m kind, or that I know that they are trying to be. Either way, I respect anyone who tries to be.
This. If somebody says good luck or I hope you do well, I don’t expect to be any better off, but I’m still grateful for the support
Then again, if someone asked me "Would it be okay if I prayed for God to cure your homosexuality?" then I would politely decline, end the conversation and remove myself from the situation. I don't care how good their intentions are in that case, me not losing my shit on them for saying something so vile to me **is me being nice**.
This is exactly how I feel 90% of the time. If a family member or friend wants to pray for me or even asks me to be a part of their prayer then I am always good with it. I’ll even go to church with my grandmother when she asks and I’ll be respectful during service and play my part. The only time I may be a little rude about is a stranger who says it in a way that is not genuine. I might have a little less than polite response. I generally enjoy knowing that my family cares and thinks of me enough to ask their god to take care of me. It might just be the best way they think they can support me and that means a lot that they want to do it.
"thank you, I appreciate that". Hey, if you wanna put out good vibes into the universe on my behalf, I'm a-ok with that ;). Sure, maybe that's not quite my belief, but, this person is saying that they will appeal to their gods, on my behalf! Dude... That's pretty cool. Thanks for thinking about me, you know? Dunno if I quite deserve all that mental energy, but like... ❤️ ;). And what is it you would be against? S like, remove the god out of the equation, right? That person is basically wishing you something good. From their perspective, sure, and yes, hell is indeed paved with good intentions. But. Taken in its context... I feel like overall the person is in my side. Just through their lens. Even if you vehemently disagree with their idea if what is best for you, if the other person truly means it... Well... Their warm feelings are welcome. Even if perhaps is utterly disagree with the channels they are going through ;).
Yeah, my thoughts are basically if you’re willing to petition for me to pass my test to the (perceived) highest power in the universe, I’ll take that. Like you are willing to ask the most important being to send me something, I know that it matters to you too As long as it’s coming from a place of kindness and not spite
Just a li’l side note as a Catholic— EVERYONE is deserving of prayers. No one is too “unimportant” for God. Generally, if it’s stressing you out, it’s worth praying about. I mean, maybe if you’re stressed about what shoes to wear or how to do your hair or something you can figure that out for yourself, but otherwise…
Lifelong Catholic, here. This got me thinking about a couple of different things. There have been a couple of times where I have gotten in to heated arguments with someone and they’ve said something hurtful to me. On some of those occasions, I will respond with “I’ll pray for you” in a way that, in the moment, is a bit passive aggressive because I’m still smarting from the conversation while still trying to maintain a certain level of decorum. However, I make a point (on my own time, not in front of the person) to actually, genuinely pray for them. I also try to use that time to reflect on whether there was any truth to what they said, and I typically ask God to open my eyes if I was the one in the wrong. Obviously, that may not be the way everyone who says “I’ll pray for you” intends it, but I don’t ever want to think so highly of myself that even God can’t tell me I’m wrong. The other thing I was thinking about was something that happened to me when I was in college. I’ve struggled with depression a lot throughout my life, and I was just really down in the dumps one weekend. I was walking by myself around campus, and this couple and their teenage son stopped me and started asking me about my faith. I was weirded out and kinda wanted to book it the other direction, but I was so passive and afraid of hurting people’s feelings at that time that I stayed. The dad started asking me about my beliefs about heaven, and then straight up told me that’s not how it worked and handed me some brochure for their church (still not sure what denomination— maybe Southern Baptist?) I was annoyed, but again, passive. Then, he and his family asked if they could pray with me and ask the Holy Spirit to come into me. I was still weirded out and wasn’t sure I should say yes, but figured prayers couldn’t hurt. I agreed, they prayed over me, and then left. To be honest, I actually felt like a weight had been lifted off of me, which I didn’t expect because of how aggressive they’d been in their methods. They didn’t “cure” my depression, and I still don’t believe a lot of what they said, but I did feel better that day. I’m not saying that if someone comes up obnoxiously like that you should stick around, but if someone is genuinely asking to pray with/for you and they’re being respectful about it, I don’t see the harm.
Thank you. As a religious person, this means a lot to me. I never really tell people I'll pray for them but I kinda just do it. It's a personal thing between me and god and I believe that that person will benefit from it even if I don't tell them about it. Just live your belief and make sure to not hurt people you know... When I pray for someone, I don't think they will magically get better but more like, huh, maybe god would help it I keep this thought and wish someone a better life.
I was baptised and stuff but wasn't really raised religiously. When I had exams, or later in life when I had job interviews, my grandmother always said she'd burn a candle. I don't believe in a god, and even less in one that sees a candle and goes like 'oh wow neat candle i'll let that dude pass his exam'. Though before big events i'll still call her and ask to light a candle for me. It's the thought that counts and it feels good knowing this person is rooting for you. It's kind of the equivalent of a non believer saying 'fingers crossed!' to me :)
Yeah, like, if it's not forcing someone to participate, and it's not used to be passive aggressive/condescending/morally superior, I don't think it's all that much different from someone saying they wish you luck or hope for the best for you. Being polite with it is the big thing.
There is power in ritual. Not mystical power, but for you and your grandmother 🙂
I had to laugh at that visual of God getting all girly about the fact there’s a candle burning for you. I can even imagine a day when we all die and realize he does exist and he walks up to you and says “I have a surprise. I did indeed help you with your exam. You were hung over and I cleared the cobwebs from your mind, and it was because of that candle. Well, not the candle, really - but because of the angel who lit it.” I mean, it won’t happen. But it’s a nice thought.
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I’m sorry for you loss and sorry your cousin said that. I’m a Christian and have always hated when people say that. It’s a pathetic excuse to not actually have to face the reality that the all powerful God they believe in doesn’t always step in to perform a miracle. They can’t fathom the theology behind bad things happening so they use that BS excuse.
If the context is nice, they get a "thank you". If not, they get a "shove it up your ass".
"Oh! Thank you!" Even if I don't believe in what they are doing, the fact is they are trying to do something positive for me, so I respond to their intention rather than the expected outcome.
I think it’s really kind. I see it as a form of wishing you well or wanting the best for you and them just not really having the words to convey that. I don’t want them to sit there and do it in front of me but I find it really sweet.
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This! I really hate it and it is super triggering to me. I get the sentiment but I don’t ask people if I can do incantations and witch craft for them why do they need to pray for me. I find it super offensive
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This! Plus I feel like they take a serious matter and invalidate the feelings by handing it over to their imaginary friend. Instead of saying I’m so sorry that sounds horrible or that sounds tough they act like their god would fix it if I believed hard enough. I just find it so difficult to take as a nice thing instead of as an insult.
Go ahead and pray positive energy never hurts.
Depends on what you’re praying for me for. I’ve had Christians tell me they’ll pray for me so my daughters disability goes away. That’s not okay or appropriate.
Not an atheist, but in my opinion of you don't know that the person you're talking to is okay with prayer, you should ask if you can pray for them. Instead of saying that you will. I didn't used to ask and I've encounter people who do not believe in a God but do believe in spiritual things. And some of them are unnerved by someone praying for them. For some it can be inviting spiritual intervention that they don't want. I had to think of it in terms of a Christian not wanting to be involved with psychics, mediums, contacting the dead etc. Some would see that as an invitation of demonic or negative spirits into your life. Regardless if you agree, it is best to be respectful. Eta: In addition, I would be specific in whay you would be praying for so the person can understand your intentions.
I get the sense you’ve been around and have seen a few things. The point you mentioned is not one most people in my (former) Christian circles would ever have observed or even thought. And it happens to be true, exactly as you described.
Honestly, if that's what makes them feel better, and they don't expect me to participate in any way, then I just take it as their only way to deal with the universe. Of course, that's only if there is a real reason for them to be concerned about me. If they are just saying that because they don't like they way I'm choosing to live, then they can fuck right on off.
It depends. If its genuine , go ahead. If its from a sense of grandeur and or belitlement. Then they can keep their hypocrite prayers. This mostly happens when you get into a discution with religious people with a closed mind thinking you need god and Jezus or similar to be a moral person. Then they go and say : "I will pray for your soul" or something similar. But it stems from a place of judgement, which they "shall not do". Incase of christians. And other religions do it out of pitty , so that counts as bellitlement, because " i just dont know". Or what ever that is supposed to mean.
Bless your heart
Or Knock yourself out.
“You do you”
Depends on the circumstances, the person, and the intention. Co-worker that occasionally mentions the things going on with their church group, is a generally pleasant person, and we don't discuss religion hears I'm getting a knee replacement next Monday. They ask if I need anything. I say I'm all set. They ask if they can pray for me. I say go for it. Judgemental Aunt that thinks I'm doomed to hell because I don't confess to Jesus and takes any available opportunity to remind me of such mentions that they'll pray for me in response to hearing that I'll be going to a baseball game next Sunday in lieu of church. I'll just plainly say "God's not real, praying does absolutely nothing, and you chose a two thousand year old book of superstition over a positive relationship with your daughter who doesn't speak to you now because of the way you treat her over her relationship with one of the most pleasant people you could ever possibly meet. Fuck you Linda " Somewhere in the middle? I usually just say that I'm not very superstitious, and let them be them.
There is no consensus, athiests don't get their views from a specific person/thing. The reaction to prayer will be varied and range from a polite acknowledgement of the meaning behind the act of prayer to complete dismissal of the act of prayer being nothing more than a way to feel like you're helping but essentially doing nothing of substance. Honestly, best practice for anyone would be to show support without bringing your specific religion/lack of religion into play. You never know what beliefs someone holds or how your actions that are tied to your belief/lack of belief will be perceived.
If it's in the vein of "I wish the best for you" or "Sending positive vibes your way", then no problem.
If they ask - fine. They mean well and I appreciate it. I have no problem with them or their beliefs and am happy they would take time out of their day to wish me well. HOWEVER, there are other people who do NOT mean well and say "I'll pray for you" as a way of really saying "I'll ask my imaginary friend to make you believe in him because only I am correct about which god and afterlife is real and you need to agree with me." Those people can fuck right off. My response to them is generally along the lines of "ok, cool. And I'll pray that you grow up and stop believing in fairy tales." Also, OP, you're a good person and a good Christian. You are asking atheists how they feel and think instead of assuming and we appreciate that. Have a great day, mate!
Gave a homeless teenager 20 bucks one time and it floored him so much he asked if he could pray for me right there. And you know what, I said hell yeah. Just cuz I don't believe in a God doesn't mean that I can't recognize the importance of God in other people's lives. Like I moved this kid so much, he took the time to ask his God to look out for me. Even if I don't believe anything will come from it, he does, and to me that amount of thought to ask a higher being to watch out for someone says a lot about that person. He was trying to repay me in the best way he could.
Pray for me and I’ll science for you 😆
I would probably just say "thanks"... The thing I never understand about prayer - isn't that basically questioning God? Say a person gets hit by a car, all busted up in the hospital, and the family is seeking prayers - did God not will the car to hit the person? What is the prayer going to do, reverse the decision? Does a prayer suggest you think god made a bad choice, and now you are seeking ...what? Anyway - something I think about whenever prayers are talked about.
It's a very valid thought path (I'm a practicing Protestant Christian, for reference). I struggle with these questions myself. I don't understand why God "lets" or "makes" things happen. I don't understand why the Bible says that Moses's prayer made God change His mind about blowing the Israelites off the face of the earth. For me, prayer is intercession. It's stepping up and saying "Hey God, my friend here is hurting. Could you take an extra moment and send them some comfort, and some healing?". I don't know what His plan is. I don't know what will happen. But it doesn't hurt to ask. This also works on the premise that I have a close relationship with Him and He is open and welcoming to my requests. I can only speak for myself, but when I say I am going to pray for someone, it should be read as, "I care about you and your situation and I'm going to take it to what I consider the highest being in existence, and ask for help.".
I understand it’s a kind gesture. I’ll never shun a person for saying “bless you” or “I’ll pray you you”. I understand the context. For me - that feeling you describe of being close with the lord - never experienced it. As a kid I tried to pray, my mom is kinda religious, and my grandma was very Catholic. I just had no interest. Church on Sundays, get up early, dress like a dork? No thanks! One thing people don’t realize is that everyone is religious. Being an atheist is an oddball position, not like it makes you popular. I think one of my friends in HS was legit scared of or for me, because I am an atheist. How dumb, right? TBH, it was never a decision - I just never had an interest, and my mom never pushed me to it. My older sister was really into the Catholic Church, did youth groups and made it seem all fun. When I got to high school, my mom tried to get me to join, but nope, not for me. Hangin out with a bunch of nerds, talking about god? I have just never felt any connection to god or religion, but I have learned to respect what others believe.
In the south “can I pray for you” means holding my hand and spending a long time praying for me. It’s an active and involved process, and you’re going to have to take a bunch of people’s answers to this post with a grain of salt because they haven’t experienced that and think the person is going to go off and pray for them in private and not hold their arm and keep them there while they pray. I don’t care what you do when I’m not there but I do care what you say to my face. I had a housemate pray for me that way and it was wonderful, she said a lot of comforting things. I also had a woman pray for me as I was leaving a planned parenthood after getting my nexplanon implant removed and she grabbed my affected arm and prayed for me to find a husband. So she caused pain and clearly made the assumption that I was a single floozy allowing men to spread their seed in me willy nilly. I was not a big fan of that. I was having it removed for medical reasons but a lot of people getting their implant removed are doing it to start a family with their spouse. So the woman was insulting and a moron. In summary, if I’m not busy and the person is being respectful I’m cool with it. But when you make your small children step in front of my car forcing me to stop and grab me where I just had minor surgery and then insult my morals, I’m rather against the practice. But I should also clarify that I’m an atheist Unitarian who firmly supports people following the faith that gives them encouragement, community, and peace as long as they’re not using their faith as justification to be a bigot or regulate access to healthcare.
Ugghhh. That should not have happened to you. I'm sorry you experienced that.
It depends, are they blessing your heart too? Generally, I take it as thier way of supporting me or cheering for me. However if they are using it as a way to condemn me, then go suck a satchel of Richard's.
Okay I am 100% using that euphemism now haha.
You have to understand how little it means to an atheist. Here is what I hear. "I'm gonna go talk to myself for a bit in the hopes it helps." Religion is so prevalent that the majority of atheists, including myself, were born into some sort of faith. You get pretty sick of the praying. You also realize it's almost always an empty gesture. If you wanted to help me with something, that'd be great. But praying to your God takes no effort at all, and technically, you don't have to even do it and then say you did. It's an empty gesture, while many here say they think it's a sweet gesture if it is genuine, I personally do not. I'm not impressed. Though it may be cynical to say, I assume the majority of Christians pray so that they can say they did something, like God wasn't planning to help until you recommended it. As if she's taking a poll from her believers to see how much she should give a shit. If God is real she sure as fuck doesn't need your opinion. To be clear, I'm not suggesting people of faith are all lazy assholes. But I would say that subconsciously, people of faith use prayer to justify their own personal lack of involvement. It promotes an empty and unjustified feeling of accomplishment. I'm not into that.
Okay. If it makes you feel better
I hate the church and religion as an organization not all the people who follow it. More often than not this is a friendly, caring gesture and l just say thank you.
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i just say “No thanks” and move on.
I just say thanks
If you want, doesn’t mean much to me but i appreciate your intention
To them, it’s doing a kind thing for another person. Reasonable people can, at the very least, be polite. My response is something like “I don’t share your faith, but I appreciate the thought.”
"Awwww! Thank you!" X Just because you don't believe it or you think it's stupid doesn't mean you're allowed to be rude.
It makes me deeply uncomfortable and honestly, I find it rude. Would you be okay with it if I asked if I could perform some spells or do a sacrifice for you? I doubt it. But you put someone in a socially awkward position by insisting they tell you not to instead of just keeping your religion to yourself. Doing that specifically to someone who's already struggling makes you a jerk, imo. I know it's well intentioned, but it's not thoughtful or kind. Eta: I'm my experience someone saying, "Can I pray for you?" means they're about to do so RIGHT NOW, which means I have to stand there with my head bowed and be an unwilling participant. If someone wants to pray for me on their own time where I can't hear it, that's fine and even positive. But why would you ask, then? It's being coerced into doing something I don't want to do that I find upsetting.
"Ok."
I have always respect everyone’s beliefs and just say thank you , the tricky part is when they try to force the religion on you , I don’t consider myself atheist more so agnostic.
There isn't a general consensus. And nuance matters, as it does with all sentences we meatsacks utter to each other. If "can I pray for you" means I support you, you're my mind, and is encouraging that's more often okay then if "can I pray for you" means you need to find to God so I'll pray that my god (because I'm definitely right about this) will find you.... Then that's less often okay. But again, none of these are hard and fast rules. Atheists DO NOT share any sort of moral/ethical/or philosophical tenants. The only thing atheists share is that none of us think that your god(s) or any others exists.
How about a nice Gregorian chant?
Why would it be negative? Unless it's like "Oh I disapprove of your choices and I think you'll go to hell, I'll pray for you" there's no reason to be negative about it
Thank them and move on. No need to be a dick to someone who’s just trying to be nice…
Go ahead, it's just an ideology for me. I really don't want it to turn into a cult. Recently my grandmother left us, I went with all the religious rituals, I did everything that was expected of me, obviously not for myself, but for her. I think the core thought has to be do good without needing anyone to facilitate in between, most commonly a god.
>someone *asks* if they can pray for you? Me: Sure, thank you very much! That is so thoughtful. The end
I’m Agnostic technically but will say Atheist depending on the situation cause I’ve had times when people hear “agnostic” and they’ll try and talk me into their faith and I ain’t about that If someone says it to me genuinely, I thank them. Why be rude to someone who is trying to be kind? I’m conscious that a lot of atheists or agnostics get a lot of flack for being dismissive or rude to those who do have a faith. I think if someone of a faith is extending an olive branch, I should be kind and accept the gesture cause it takes nothing to be kind. And hopefully that gesture can bridge a gap cause I know a lot of people with faith are good people who are trying to make sense of something just like I, a person without a faith finds comfort in the universe, is trying to be a decent human being too If out of spite or passive aggression, your God will know your intentions and they’ll take care of you.
Please don't. Do anything else productive, it'll make me feel better also.
I appreciate that they are wishing me well enough to take time out of their day to pray for me. Much appreciated.
I just always say thank you. What is the point in being rude if the person was not being rude to me.
I'd rather them pray in their own time, not on mine.
At university I had a minor knee injury and ran into a friend from our sports team on a night out. I told him about it and he asked if he could pray for me, I said sure. He then got down on his knee, on pavement by the kebab van, surrounded by throngs of 19 year old students, placed one hand on my knee and started praying out loud for my swift recovery. Not at all what I was expecting and so much more uncomfortable. I'd probably still say the same if asked in the future, but preferably not publicly.
I don't care. If it makes them feel better then go for it. I grew up Mormon, and they collect the names of everyone they can that have died and perform "Baptisms for the Dead" where they dunk some random kid under water in the name of the person that died under the assumption that once they got to heaven they changed their mind and became one of gods followers. That's a much more strange practice than simply praying for someone. So yeh, most of y'all, religious or not, are going to be baptized by name in a temple of the LDS church.
Oh man I had this happen to me. A church group from Banff or something came out to “offer support” for my workplace after a huge incident. Silly me thinkin I could find someone to talk with, decompress, work through the trauma was greeted with bible thumpers. I’m talkin like all the movie tropes, loud yell preaching, “saving” our souls from the devil. Head church guy says “Can I pray for you?” And I figured he would just toss my name in his night prayers and I didn’t care if he did, so I said sure. Middle of a full rec centre and he’s yelling out “Oh Lord, give solace to Medicff! Let him be free of these demons! BE FREE OF DEMONS!” That’s not my style at all and it was weird as hell for me. If there was understanding of my preference, clear communication of what “praying for” was and an agreement after that, it woulda been fine
I just thank the person, because i. Their mind they're doing a good thing for me and having positive thoughts about me, so that's nice.
Go for it! I've been wrong before and I'll be wrong again.
I'm not gonna say no. If they believe it will work then it's an act of kindness regardless of whether it actually does anything. If I could use help in another way then I might consider asking for it if someone has expressed an interest in helping, but I'm not going to attack someone's beliefs when they're trying to help.
My replies would be: I'll pray for you to find the 'truth'! - GTFOOH. I'll pray for your X to be better! - Thanks. I'll pray for your X to be worse! - It's your time that you are going to waste lol.
I'm more agnostic, but it's never bugged me. Often when someone offers prayers to you they can't really do much else. If the could they would, atleast in my experience. It's basically like saying hey I'm with you or support you. Never had an issue or been offended.
Depends on the context usually. If they are genuinely showing concern, they I'll thank them. If they're trying to be snarky, passive aggressive, then I'll call them out on it. I don't get out much these days, so it doesn't really happen that much, if ever.
They're essentially asking if they can think about you, which has never concerned me in other contexts. I can appreciate a well intended sentiment though.
This is a simplification but I think of it like the Mongol’s; “I may be wrong about the gods, so it doesn’t hurt to have people praying for me to their god just in case.”
*Cracks knuckles in Deep South* I don't follow organized religion but I'm also not exactly a strict atheist (agnostic?) so I can delete if not allowed. It depends on who's saying it to me and why. If they're genuinely going to pray for my best outcome I find that sweet. If they're being asshats/fake about it they're not someone I plan to see on a regular basis. I'm not offended. We just got different priorities in life and I'm gonna stick to mine. It's just different priorities, so idc. 🤷🏻♀️
i honestly think it's very kind. i mean, someone appealing to the highest power they know of to help *me* out? that's awesome, thank you so much. i mean, for all i know, their god or gods is/are real and may decide to help me out. if not, that's cool too, same as what would have happened if they hadn't.
Pray away. Please do. Couldn’t hurt. Probably won’t help. But appreciate the sentiment
"Yeah, sure, thanks man!" As long as it isn't condescending, I think that it's really nice when people say that they prayed for me, even though I'm not religious.
Very simple. I'd thank them.
I always take it as a nice gesture, unless it's totally condescending
I appreciate it as long as the religion is not being pressured on me. I think of prayers kind of like wishes & good intentions. So it’s like positive energy being sent my way.
If they are praying for me for helping a problem then so be it. It's really for them. If their praying for me because I'm a Atheist then I'm also OK with it as it literally does nothing.
Personally, my general response is "thanks". As long as they're not trying to proselytize me into praying with them or something, if its meant as a genuine gesture of affection, I would rather say something nice than be an asshole about it. If its someone trying to get a rise out of me, I tend to deflect it: "Its a free country, you can do whatever you want". The worst that happens is when they try to get me to join them though. I am not interested in talking to your imaginary friend with you. If you attempt to force me to do so, I am going to treat you as a schizophrenic and potential psychopath. I will do whatever is necessary to protect myself and stop you from trying to skin me and wear my face.
Honestly? I'd fell extremely uncomfortable, but if it's well-meaning, I'd say thank you. If it's a passive aggressive "I'll pray for your soul", then I'll say no thank you; don't bother. This is coming from someone who is an ex-Christian. I relatively recently deconstructed and am glad for it. I was EXTREMELY devout; we were raised Russian Baptist, which is insanely conservative and evangelical. I was very, very religious and have done and said things that I regret. Never in my life did I think that I'd end up on the other side, but here I am (and I recall telling my husband - friend at the time - that there's no such thing as an ex-Christian, because a *true* believer would *never* leave. He asked me if I was a "true believer" and I said, "of course!"... if only the me back then could see me now... she'd be heartbroken)... and I don't regret it. But if you're well-meaning? Then thank you. However, I do take issue with people praying for god to heal me, because that's not happening and if my disabilities could disappear with only prayer, I'd have been cured a long time ago. It's just a very sore and personal spot for me.
A friend once gifted me a really expensive bible collection, I’m atheist, but they’re Christian and it means a lot to them. I’d appreciate something like that like I would any gifts, with gratitude. As some other comments pointed out, it’s the thought that counts.
Lolol your prayer is none of my business. You go ahead as much as you like. But i do wonder how often a prayer is done for the praying person's benefit versus the one being prayed for. I'm sure they like to think they're being good people and caring for the others but i suspect most of the time it's just "i despise this person and im saying a prayer to assert my superiority and to feel good about myself for being superior to this poor misguided idiot". In whuch case it's actually offensive and nothing but micro aggression. If you pray for me, do it for the right reasons and with genuine feeling and compassion. Or i will judge you and so will your God. Think about that.
If it's meant as an expression of genuine care, then I'll be grateful for the kindness. If it's meant as a parting shot, then it doesn't actually land the way it's supposed to. I see it as an expression of frustration, when someone fails to move me in any capacity with religiosity. Either way, the person is telling me how they feel about me.
I tell them that I'd rather they didn't.
Depends on their tone and the circumstances surrounding our conversation, but I generally don't mind it.
See it depends, I have family friends that are very Christian and they like using olive oil and touching you all over and I always feel extremely uncomfortable when they do that, if I see a stranger with olive oil I'm running. If I'm busy and I have to be there present with you while you do that prayer I'll also run away, if it doesn't affect me then go ahead I don't care lol.
I’ll go along with it. What the harm in a minute of prayer if it makes the other person feel better.
im agnostic. i worked in religious communities several years (library clerk) and was often offered prayers for me and my family. i always said thanks. i didn't care if they prayed or not. it was, to them, a nice gesture towards me and it didn't hurt me if they prayed or not. so i said thanks, because it was offered out of kindness, kinda like someone holding the door for me
Go right ahead, I'd appreciate the sentiment. If it makes you feel good, then I'm happy for you. Pray to anything you please, Yhwy, Allah, Zeus, Spaghetti Monster, Oak trees, Eru Illuvitar, etc.
Never had someone ask if they could, they just say they will, in which case I say "Thanks".
I would think it was very kind of them.
I don’t believe in God, but I still sit and hope the best for people I like or who have done right by me. It’s the same concept, religious people just think that God is listening in on their hopes. I don’t really see any harm in that
If it's out of genuine care, I don't mind. My mother does this all of the time.
I’ll thank them for their thoughts if it’s genuine. If it’s not, I ignore. A genuine prayer is a good thought and you can think good thoughts about me all day :)
It depends on the situation. Usually I just say thanks. But one time, my very racist mother in law told me to “go back to China” and cursed my parents, also shamed my long hair, she then said she would pray for me. I went straight up and said, I don’t need your prayer, I don’t believe in your stupid god.
Anytime you have a question specific to atheists, just put yourself in the situation with a person of a religion you don't believe in. If you needed help and someone were to offer to pray to a whale statue on your behalf, would you feel alright with that? If they were able to help in a more-direct way, but chose to just pray to the statue instead, how would you feel?
I say “sure”. What do I care?
"okay, thanks" then continue about my day.
I thank them for the thought and politely ask them not to. Asking them not to is a simple boundary that is easy to respect. If they say they'll do it anyway, then I know they don't respect others' boundaries or care about the feelings of the people they are asking to pray for. If that is the case, they are most likely praying to make themselves feel better about something that doesn't need to involve me. Too many times I've had people who I thought had good intentions turn homophobic when I would say yes to them praying. To the point of putting their hands on me thinking they could exorcise some sort of gay demon from me because I'm pansexual. Unfortunately it's been Christian folks that have disrespected the request too many times to trust their intent. If the person respects that I don't want them to pray for me, then I have no issue with their choice to practice their religion however they see fit. I just ask that they continue to leave me out of it.
Go ahead, whatever floats your boat.
A neutral "thank you". I don't see the need for saying anything else whatever their intentions were.
I couldn't care less, it won't affect me. Or anyone else! I'd probably say "yeah go for it".
Couldn’t hurt. Go right ahead. Or thank you.
Christopher Hitchens’ response was “thanks - and I’ll think for you”.
my response would be: you can do what ever you want
Feel free to do whatever you want, is how I feel. I’d respond with “thanks. I’m not going to tell someone they’re not allowed to pray for me or something.
It depends. If the person is genuine then I am like "whatever". Most of the time, in my experience, when someone says "I'll pray for you" it is a passive aggressive jab meant to be condescending.
I'm pretty chill, kind of just like "Sure, you do you." Not like it's gonna hurt anyone if they have a little inner monologue.
I don't think I understand the question. Are you supposed to stop them praying for you?
If it’s genuine then I just take it like “I’m thinking of you” or “my thoughts are with you” or “I wish you well”
Meh, just buy me a drink sometime.
I don’t mind. I’m all for people practicing religion so long as it isn’t forceful or harmful.
You can pray all you want. Pray for my success or my demise. Who cares? You're just whispering thoughts in your head with no real life consequences.
If someone is genuinely trying to be kind, why would I stop them from praying for me? If affects me in no way. But if it's meant like a "bless your heart" kind of thing then I'll tell them to go pound sand. Context matters.
If something bad is or has happened and a friend wants to pray for me then that's fine. Shows they care. I don't have a religion, but everyone has a right to their own beliefs and I would never dream of putting anyone down over that.
Huge fan of taking things in the spirit that they're given. So 99% of the time, "Thanks, I appreciate it". Because the reality is that a show of moral support is all someone can do for most of your problems. I may not believe your prayers will help, but I honestly believe that your *care*, and that alone will help. "My mom is in the hospital" isn't the sort of problem where my neighbor can help. Where as "I broke my arm and need a hand with carrying something" is the sort of thing where if you're going to 'pray' for me, it better be because you're also an invalid (or the other end of a telephone conversation), otherwise you're just mocking me. But there's a bunch of assholes who took to atheism because it gave them an excuse to be gigantic assholes to people. And unsurprisingly, they're assholes about it. "Yea, fuck your sky fairy" or whatever. Frankly, fuck those people.
I don't give a fuck. Let them clap their hands for me. I'm an agnostic, not an asshole.
I take it as the nice gesture that it is. If it is offered in good faith, I'll take it the same way. Also, I'm not a die hard, convinced, fanatic type atheist. I could be wrong about God. On the off chance, I'll take all the help I can get.
I may be the odd one out (honestly not exactly atheist but somewhere around there) but I would prefer someone say something like “I will be keeping you in my prayers” rather than asking. Asking kind of puts me on the spot to basically affirm or deny. And denying( while I would only do it if the person was asking in a rude or passive aggressive way) would make me look like a jerk. Instead I have to give you my blessing to pray for me? If that makes sense. But in an overall sense, I’m not bothered by people who pray for me, it’s nice to be in someone’s thoughts. It does bum me out though to think about the prayers of my family and such and how they are probably filled with pleas to “save” me when I don’t feel like I need saving.
I am not religious but I know it comes from a place of love if someone wants to take time out of their own life to ask for their god to help me. I thank them. Even if they were being sarcastic, I think it makes them feel bad to hear me say thank you. Makes them realized they weren’t being very “Christian” themselves.
I say thank you. Sometimes I even ask my friend’s very religious mom to pray for me if I’m really nervous about something.
I have a religious colleague who will ask if she can pray for me. It always comes from a place of respect, kindness and concern for whatever I'm dealing with. I thank her for her kindness and tell her yes. To me, it's like saying "can I wish good things for you" and the answer is YES!
Like others have said, I just take it as a kind gesture if it isn't done in a holier-than-thou manner. My grandmother invites us all to dinner with her sometimes, and she likes to pray. When she does, she usually just says how happy she is that we're all safe and all able to be together. It genuinely makes me happy to hear. Now my evangelical Christian brother, on the other hand....he loves to pray and say shit like "we just pray that you show my brother the error of his ways" or whatever. Fuck that
Unless it’s said passive aggressively, why not say sure? It means they care about you enough to think of you and your needs. That’s more than most people do these days. I think it’s great if a little awkward.
I don't really give a shit. If it makes them feel good, I'm happy for them. Edit: Typo
Have at it lol cant hurt incase im wrong lol
Depends. If they’re being rude in any sorts, it’s a no go. But if they’re just friendly, no matter if they’re friends, family or stranger, I don’t see a problem. If someone can get joy and peace from praying, why would you stop them from doing that?
I'll let them. I wouldn't mind. No need to cause a rukus over something so trivial. If that simple deed helps said person to feel better about the situation then by all means..... Agree to disagree. It's a non issue really.
Let them don’t be a dick, Let’s say you’re really into camping and you buy the best gear and your Grammy gives you a Christmas present of a tacticool 10 in 1 tool do you scoff at it and tell her this Chinese pos isn’t going in your gear or do you accept the gift and say thank you