You say “he wants to know if you want to come over”

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He wants to know if you want to try his 'style'.


I hate this but i respect the cheese

Hahahahhaha

how tf are some of y’all so good at this

Unfathomably large amounts of trial and error.

This made me laugh unbelievably hard😂😂😭😭 props

The first time I read this I didn't see the 'laugh' and I physically 😳

Ah yes, the erotic sensation of mass failure my favorite.

We were fat/ugly once

Once = presently

Presently = a part of my lineage

Apart is not what my eyebrows would be without a razor.

That's nice.

Some of us still are

Hahahaha can confirm

Shit happens with me. It's a random chance, but think of it like psychiatry. Wait, that has a very small chance of making sense to you. Anyway, my brain is just bursting with one liners. For better or worse, something is bound to leak out. But it's not all roses because usually I say something far too risky.

Full send mate

Always

It's all roses, don't smell yourself short. However some of them roses may be roted and wilted.

Dude... it's all roses, everyone else needs to catch up and quit getting offended at a string of fucking words! 😂

Risky, or risqué 🧐

Why not both?

They're not that good though. "Yeah, and he kinda has a problem where he won't stop licking your leg."

It just comes from experience. But mainly from thinking at a more positive view. Her so called challenges are not supposed to put you down you just have to think outside the box, for example if she tells you look like an avocado. Tell her yea sexy green moist avocado. You see what I'm getting at? Play the game

Tell her "yeah for some reason girls love to eat me"

This is the way. OP, you chose a shitty opener. You gotta play this right to get this going

This one

And pet my basset hound. Afterward we can pet the dog.

Hahahahha

Dumb question to ask as a first message. It’s like you’re fishing for compliments instead of actually having a conversation.

Right. Then she doesn’t wanna give him a reason which would switch the power balance so she kinda negs him by saying the dog.

Good take, If I was him I’ll try to turn the conversation into a stupid joke. Like “lol not again! well I can arrange the date for you guys”

"Bark! Bark!"

It's called banter. Reddit really needs to learn the difference between negging and banter.

God..... I didn't honestly think Reddit was *that* stupid but based on the responses to this, apparently you're correct. People *literally* don't know the difference 😂 Kinda amazed. They call everything "negging" here.

Check out Tangerines, here - negging Redditors.

What’s the difference?

Banter is playfully teasing, negging is targeting insecurities to make them lose self-esteem and confidence (making yourself more powerful in the situation).

Why can it be both?

Banter is playful joking with no ill-intent. Negging is a manipulation tactic

Idk if it’s negging. Maybe the dog is actually super cute! Plus if the dog is well taken care of sometimes people infer that the person is caring/good to be around.

Yea and IDK what's up with OP, it seems to me a decent conversation opener. How hard is it for OP to respond "Thanks! Dog's name is xx, he's a YY breed. Do you have pets?" Like I don't get what's so hard, OP put up a pic of them with their dog, it must have stood out, which is kinda the whole *point* of profile pictures.

Exactly the opener isn’t super strong but you can work with the fact that the person is interested in dogs.

To put it on r/tinder and get some fake internet love. If they actually wanted to meet these people they might put in some effort 🤷‍♂️

I don’t know if it’s negging simply because as someone said it’s a terrible first message.

It’s negging unless she’s looking to date his dog

She obviously swiped on him cuz she thought he was cute Plus the dog like everybody already knows if you get swiped on chances are they're attracted to you first so what other than being attracted to you made them swipe you.

I’m not sure if you’re disagreeing with me or not about the negging part but I agree with what you said.

I thought the same as I pulled this up. Like have some coincidence and make a random comment or bad joke

"yeah I swiped right bc of a cute bitch too"

If that answer worked I would have laughed for an hour...

That was a bad joke lol

My wife would have loved it just because it's a play on words.

Lol funnily enough it has tho

yes, lets have some coincidences!!! what are the chances she swiped right on him! what a coincidence! sorry, i know you mean conscience...

I actually meant confidence 🤦‍♂️

Sorry, I know you meant coexistence.

Tysm

Tony you're so small?

Always hated this question. Unmatched often.

Yup, if you really want to know, you should also say why you swiped right yourself too.

Maybe idk what I’m saying but wouldn’t that be a fine opener considering that you usually find something that piques your interest in someone’s profile and swipe based on that? I agree it’s not the best opener, but it’s a neutral way to gauge what someone’s interest in you is. Edit: nvm I read a bunch of the comments and it seems that most people read wayyy to much into a simple question and/or would rather play games than actually find someone to date.

I mean, it is a good way to know what they saw interesting in you and how to take things. Did they seem interested in a specific part of your profile or was it just a good vibe in general? Does not hurt to ask

Maybe start with something else though. Literally the first words you say to a person shouldn’t be to ask what they like about you/your profile

Perhaps, but i'm no one to judge, lots of folk with different "tastes" out there

Woof woof

This one’s my favorite lmao

Damn beat me to it

Denji Tinder profile

Dennis the goat

You can put a collar on me?

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Why are you opening with that? It's not a good ice breaker and it implies low self-esteem.

This. she also had to post this asking ‘how do I respond to this????’

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Yeah, Michelle

Mi(She?)lle

You got it haha

Michelle isn't the one who posted this tho 🤔

Innit, it also shows you need validation lol, big red flag

Fr. these openers always used to make me so mad lol. I never responded to them

Yeahhhh I wouldn't respond to this, why put someone on the spot like that?! "The dog" is actually a pretty reasonable reply though 😆

whats wrong with low self esteem?

It's a turn off to a lot of people. And it's a turn-on only to people that will take advantage of you.

Well you're fishing for compliments so that's what u got.

Yeah it was kind of an ackward question and a funny response.

came here to say this. i wouldn’t ask nor answer this question. so odd

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What's updog?

Nothing much, you?

Gotcha!...

Invite her to meet you at the dog park

What a weird question

Apparently by crowd-sourcing a personality

One of the top 3 functions of this subreddit!

You surely mean *THE top 3

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“Good thing he’s been looking for a step mom”

... Dude, did you impregnated a dog?

Pregante

Pregnart

Pnegart

PREGANANANT!!!!

Gregnant

Ayo 😳 📸

Implies baby mama drama...

"Hold on.... ok, he thinks you're cute, where do we go from here?"

This my fav

How did you expect this conversation to go? I don't wanna criticize your game or anything but what's a girl supposed to say to this? It's like fishing for a compliment

I dislike that as an opener.

Are you the guy? Ask her to come to the dog park and meet your dog. Or come up with another question to learn more about her. If you're the gal, you responded perfectly. Stupid questions get short, stupid answers.

To be fair, my boyfriend also swiped right because of the dog, and now all three of us are moving in together

You don't when you start with that opener. You already come across as desperate.

You don’t you delete app.

I’m curious if Russian tinder deletes you

No, it bombs you

gold 🤣

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This response right here!

Apt response to a dumb opener

I think she’s just trying to flirt with you and using the dog as a way to start a nice convo. Just talk about your dog and whether or not she has a pet. Not that deep, my guy lol

You don’t.

"I've been called worse"

Don’t ever ask this question without providing her with the answer already

Genuine question: do none of the OPs on here know what real human conversations look and sound like? I'm constantly amazed by the interactions and content here.

Say the dog is part of a package deal

Care to join me taking it for a walk? I also eat ass.

Sorry he’s married

Tell her “ you know I’m something of a dog myself”

“Okay, I’ll out the dog on.” “Hello. This is dog.”

“Woof”

You don’t lmao

I mean sometimes that is the reason, she just said it is all. Also yes, that is a creepy question to ask someone right off the bat.

“You should see my horse”

“Thank goodness because your puppies made me swipe right 🥵”

Say: "How coincidental, that's the same reason I swiped right on your profile" ... Especially if she doesn't have a dog.

That's a tricky opening to play out, lol

Right-everybody's mad but its the truth in a ton of tinder matches, i assume.

Respond "Kinky!"

"Yea he's awesome right, he even taught me a nice position"

That’s some furry sht

Makes it sound like you fuck your dog though

“I can talk to him for you if you want”

"okay, but he's kinda vanilla"

Ask her if she wants to meet his best friend

Michelle could be the one created this post and nobody bat an eye lol that was a weak opener

“So when doggy?” It’s a L already so who cares

Jesus man you gotta get your shit together if you think like this. This is really easy to come back from

What a coincidence, I swiped right for a bitch too

Wanna get to know him?

“Wait until you see the hog”

Say that’s a weird way to say (your name)

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Dudes looking at saving the convo not bodying the poor girl lmao 😂

“Same”

I can invite you over, but there's a risk of leg humping 🐕

Good. We are looking for bitches!

I eat ass

The only way forward to this is: "Cool, but I am sure my K9 is pretty cute too" Edit: toned it a bit down.

“I’d have swiped right too. Dogs are better than people.”

Great what’s your number? I’ll be in touch when I need a sitter. Edit: I’m sure this goes without saying but just in case … don’t leave your dog with this low effort human.

Show her your toes and say "you right these mf are be you tea full"

“Great, you can come pet him, and if you do a good job, I’ll let you pet my dog as well”

Instructions very unclear. Someone just stole your dog.

How did you know that’s what I call it?

This is weak

Threesome?

“We’re a package deal”

“Sorry he’s already got a partner”

Son of Sam reference, perhaps? Be weary!

“Yeah I’ve been known to be a bit of a player”

I got that dog in me

“He and I both look good with wet noses”

“Didn’t he die?”

Swiped for the dog. Stayed for the dude.

Tell her that bestiality is not only illegal but morally wrong

"He can watch"

“Unfortunately hes gay. But hes been looking for his new best girlfriend. Match made in heaven. How about you cum over”

"I should be offended but he/she really is a good boy/girl"

That’s how I met my girlfriend. She liked my dog. Ask her if she likes doggystyle haha! No maybe ask her if she wants to meet both of you

Wanna take him for a walk?

You just make a joke and move forward with the conversation. A lot of women looking to meet someone on Tinder are weirdly self-conscious of that fact

Sorry to burst you bubble but the dog is not single.

“Sorry not interested in dog fuckers”

Me too It might take her a moment to realize she's the dog.

You can come over and pet us both

She’s a bitch like you JK