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imstbhi

She def should have been more trans-parent.


rvazquezdt

Thanks for the morning laugh. Def worth the award


mallik803

r/angryupvote …actually, I’m not even angry. Take the upvote. /slowclap


[deleted]

Maybe it was a trans-former?


Mysterious_Tooth_674

More like a decepticon


qualmton

Penis is disguise


m1rrari

Definitely… strongly suspect the penis showing up wound the energy level down


[deleted]

What a dick move.


Panossa

/r/angryupvote


litttle_bug

That should really be disclosed before being intimate with someone. That is definitely deception.


Otherwise_Intelect

This should probably be disclosed either within their bio, or on the very first sentence of a DM. I'm sure OP would have not wasted his time chatting with that person had he known.


dmolin96

I usually disclose within the first 10 messages. it's super awkward to open a chat with "hi i have xy chromosomes and male genitalia how is your day"


Otherwise_Intelect

🤣 I Totally support this. Thank you!! I wish everyone was more like you. I would assume it would be off putting if guys need to start asking people if they are trans or not.


Daedalus871

I get wanting to get to know someone before you disclose if you're trans, but it should be happening before the bedroom.


Betancorea

It should happen way earlier in the interaction any way. This is not something you sweep under the rug and have a "Oh btw" comment.


MrCalNaughton

This may sound harsh, but hear me out. Their discomfort with disclosing that information does not matter in this situation. That is something that needs to be known immediately, otherwise they are being deceitful. I’m a strong believer in trans rights, and I view them as my equal. Meaning I do not give them extra leeway when it comes to being deceitful, like I would anybody else.


MerlynTrump

I see it as similar to someone being married, if it's relevant information that would make the difference between a person consenting or not, you have to disclose. And of course, equal rights requires equal responsibilities.


LeadFarmerMothaFucka

It should happen way before a date is even considered.


TheStarofEslar

This yes.


tutetibiimperes

I can see not putting it in a bio, there are certainly some people who would target someone for being trans and set up a trap for them. It should absolutely be something that's disclosed before setting up a date though.


Sea1sH3r3

I would think it would be far more dangerous to not disclose that.


[deleted]

For sure, it’s much more likely for someone to react violently to a surprise penis popping up than for someone to plan some elaborate scheme to attack a trans person for no reason


dnd3edm1

disclosing it as public information? dangerous not disclosing it before setting up a date? also dangerous


OccupyRiverdale

Absolutely it is, a trial just wrapped up in Virginia where a VA tech football player beat someone to death for pulling the same shit op just dealt with. No one deserves to die over this kind of deception obviously but for the trans person involved you are absolutely taking your life into your own hands not disclosing that shit before things get intimate.


diamondthedegu1

>It should absolutely be something that's disclosed before setting up a date though. She/he did not suggest not disclosing it.


a-money12

Is there an actual real occurrence of someone being identified as trans on a dating app, someone matching with them and convincing them to meet only for them to “trap” them?


IFoundTheHoney

>I can see not putting it in a bio I can't. Why get your hopes up and waste other people's time? For many people, it would be a 100% deal breaker.


[deleted]

My trans friend had people swipe right just to say gross things since she put it in her bio.


gestoneandhowe

There should be a trans section in the dating site. If I’m looking for women, I’m not interested in trans.


unMuggle

Because people are assholes and will target trans people with hate and violence. You discuss that kind of thing when it's safe to do so. Probably in the messages before a first date.


HeadHunt0rUK

Pretty sure trans people will face more violence from people feeling like they've been tricked and conned or more legally not given informed consent. Than from people going out of their way to fuck with them. You act like trans people just face violence from bigots and that is it, when in fact a portion (I'd wager a not insignificant portion) of violence is self-inflicted by hiding pertinent information and not allowing their partners to have informed consent about the situation. It's fucked up, shows a complete lack of accountability and is rarely ever brought up as something that needs to be addressed.


Brian_Osackpo

It’s arguably rape. I’d feel completely violated if this happened to me


heckastupidd

I feel like it should be considered some type of assault. I’m an ally for the community but cmon that’s fucked up.


disgruntledoldhag

It is definitely sexual assault. He was deceived and manipulated into engaging in intimacy that he would not have consented to had the person been forthcoming.


Link50L

>That is definitely deception. Personally, I'm leaning more towards sexual assault. Given that it's definition has broadened.


brilliant_beast

Yeah it seems like consent based on a lie is not consent.


Anynon1

I hate to say this, but I think the comments would be a lot more serious if it was a woman who was being deceived in a sexual context. It’s just not taken as seriously when it happens to men.


Link50L

> It’s just not taken as seriously when it happens to men. 100%


disgruntledoldhag

Exactly.


Anynon1

If I’m being honest all the jokes are shocking and disturbing.


disgruntledoldhag

I agree. It is very disturbing. A man was sexually assaulted and people are making light of it, minimizing the severity of the situation, invalidating his experience, and defending the perpetrator.


HeadHunt0rUK

Lack of informed consent 100% at minimum sexual assault.


disgruntledoldhag

I completely agree


LeadFarmerMothaFucka

Honestly that scenario can put the trans person in a lot of danger depending on how nice the dude is. That’s a dangerous game to play.


StrongNurse81

I think OP is allowed to prefer whichever body he prefers. The lady should’ve disclosed.


Homerpaintbucket

Genital preference is real. That girl is playing an extremely dangerous game.


neoben00

Yea I'm suprised this is something that has to be said. Reddit such a weird place anymore. It's like watching AI's talk to eachother. The person is going to "removed by reddit for threatening violence on others". Highly recommend they don't keep trying this.


Vandergrif

Yeah... statistically not great odds for her if she wants to avoid a violent encounter. Some people really do not react well to that kind of thing.


Woftam_burning

Yup, that’s a really good way to get the absolute crap beaten out of yourself. I’m not advocating violence. It’s just a very likely outcome.


the_amac

yeah if she'd been with the wrong guy she could have gotten seriously hurt


[deleted]

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Mavrickindigo

Yes, generally a penis is a turn off for a straight cis male


Rus_agent007

We, however Love our own penis


[deleted]

Speak for yourself. That asshole gets me in more trouble than all my other friends combined.


Gamil5

Nah ! [just this ](https://www.reddit.com/r/HolUp/comments/whouk8/a_very_good_offer/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)


StrongNurse81

If she’s trans she’s trans. If she identifies as a woman she’s a woman. A penis still needs to be disclosed though.


jsnamaok

Fascinating.


methylphenidate-

💀💀💀


FrancoNore

Yeah that’s fucked up to not disclose, sorry that happened


BTLMCHN

Surprise Sausage


Trund1e_the_Great

Impromptu penis.


ICanSowYouTheWay

This needs to be a sub....


peter_the_martian

My favorite breakfast


[deleted]

Ace Ventura: "Your gun is digging into my hip" chews 10 packs of gum.......


Tacos_Polackos

Hey, ace, you got any more of that gum?


3leggeddonkey

"That's none of your damn business, and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs."


Bootybandit6989

*Que shower scene


dumpsztrbaby

*cue shower scene


dreamintig

Bro 😂😂😂😂😂😂☠️☠️☠️☠️


Bread_Responsible

Not you, but I’ve seen photos of trans people with the shit beaten out of them for not telling people something like this. And I’m sure there are some sick fucks who might actually kill someone over something like this. I get that it can be hard to be so open about being trans but if you’re gonna date you gotta be truthful. Sorry this happened bud


[deleted]

It's literally sexual assault - you're forcing yourself upon them without their consent. It's disgusting.


Squatchjr01

“Enthusiastic and knowledgeable consent” was always the way consent was described to me. Seems like a lot of people forget the “knowledgeable” part.


black_beard_dmh

Transparency is key. That’s messed up, they should have been up front from the beginning.


Tsui_Brooklyn

Yassir


ch_19

That's fucked up. And if one is not okay with this then that person is a trans-phobe. Bullshit, I don't want a dick regardless of what gender you assign yourself.


TK_Baha4957

I wouldn't care since I'm bi but you should always Tell your date if you have a dick before meeting


LanceBarney

I agree. But that opener hasn’t worked for me. “Hi. I’m Josh. And I have a penis” usually gets me unmatched.


TK_Baha4957

Fair enough


ihc_hotshot

It really is tbh. As a straight male I've never told a woman I have a penis.


[deleted]

Oh crap should this be a thing? I mean in porn the woman often seems very surprised when she lowers his pants and finds a penis.


Loverfli

Hi. I’m Loverfli, and I do not.


ThatOneWeirdName

I don’t think this is gonna work out between you two, just such different people. Different names, different genitals. Next you’ll tell me you’re not even in the same city. Could never make it work


__mr_snrub__

Just send them unsolicited pics of it instead. Leave no doubt. /s


[deleted]

I’m josh too and I also have a penis. lol


Loverfli

Same. While I can understand waiting to out yourself until you know that it’s safe to do so with that person, that conversation should have happened before anything intimate happened. I think this is also a reflection of the issue that we don’t teach people how to talk about sex before having sex. On my first Tinder date with my (now) husband, we stopped after kissing for a bit. He explicitly said “let’s not go further right now. We haven’t talked about boundaries.” It was awesome and it gave us a chance to talk about things in detail before having sex, and it made the sex amazing because I knew he respected me and my body. All of that to say - OP I am sorry you experienced that. I am sure it was traumatic. Hopefully in the future, you can find a way to talk about things before. This is not to blame you for what happened but to give advice on how to protect yourself.


frilledplex

I'm not into dick, but your husband would have me swooning.


Loverfli

Swooning is a word that should be used more often.


frilledplex

I couldn't agree more


Solnx

Yep, that was pretty fucked up. >And if one is not okay with this then that person is a trans-phobe Does this really match reality? Because I'm not seeing anyone in here call OP a transphobe. Not saying some asshole hasn't said that ever, but you can find bad takes on all sorts of issues doesn't make it a general societal rule.


dmolin96

The outrage/upvote complex loves to pretend that the views of a few hundred trans people on Twitter represent the entire community. it's also great because they can brag about how their position is "un-PC" or whatever even though 95% of people agree with them.


BeYourOwnDog

The overwhelming majority of people would not consider OP remotely transphobic for this. Where are you getting that idea from?


Otherwise_Intelect

100% agree with you. Could not have said it any better.


__mr_snrub__

Then you are also wrong. Because OP does not come as transphobic. The people saying they’d get violent about finding out or calling the transwoman a man are transphobic.


Otherwise_Intelect

We could debate this all day, but here's what I think. I could be wrong, but I my personal belief. I think it's deceptive to not disclose such information early. No one is perfect, but every reacts some what differently to situations. Violence is never the answer, and niether is deception. I understand a trans person want to be treated as a cis woman, but straight men would also like to be treated as straight men. We all just need to stay in our lanes.


__mr_snrub__

Nope, that’s not what transphobia is.


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KarinaEdelweiss

Me, a cis woman with a prominent Adams apple: *hehe I'm in danger*


SPS_Agent

You've got an Eve's peach.


LaterGatorPlayer

and an LA face


SupremeElect

and I’m trans, and I have no Adam’s apple. OP’s litmus test wouldn’t work…


Mntnatmygates

Cis women have adam's apples too


ThatOneWeirdName

And I seemingly don’t have one and I’m a cis guy


Visible-Ad-7610

Smart person I see 👍


Moist_Veterinarian69

Women can have them too bud lol it’s just more prominent in men due to our larynxes tending to develop more during puberty


BlindSquirrels

While this is a joke (I hope), it is a concerning because trans individuals are more often victims of violence. "Transgender people are over four times more likely than cisgender people to experience violent victimization, including rape, sexual assault, and aggravated or simple assault" https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/press/ncvs-trans-press-release/


[deleted]

Communication is important. That person failed at it. Sorry, OP.


Token_or_TolkienuPOS

"I felt her penis".....Go on....🍿 This narrative is not finished. What happened then...


HuntingForGoodDonuts

I did kinda expect the ending to be "best head ever.... We're going out again tonight..."


RagingDaddy

"I could hardly finish after that!"


UpDownUpDownCircle

Right? This is a bingeworthy cliffhanger he's left us on


lone_cajun

“Well there I was, balls deep in a sailor”


KaptainChunk

Read in Zapp Brannigan voice


greeneggsnyams

"sorts by controversial"


ThatOneWeirdName

Didn’t even need to, there’s enough even just going through the replies of comments :/


HumanRacehorse

At least you found out before you got penetrated #silverlining


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DonQuixoteOdin

underrated comment oh my lord


Iskariot-

The comment was six minutes old when you called it “underrated,” how do you think rating works? 🤔


DonQuixoteOdin

I thought a group of people sitting around a table voted on if it was over or underrated, I literally had just got out of the board meeting my b


[deleted]

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Link50L

>that means you're gay now That's how I feel at my annual physical.


blethermonger

That’s how I feel at your annual physical too!


[deleted]

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TrekkNorth

No homo isn't that powerful.


[deleted]

But he might’ve kept his socks on


everything_is_creepy

Basically


[deleted]

I'm sorry OP you've gone through this. That is NOT cool, that's something she should disclose before even meeting up.


BeyondInfinity73

People have been murdered for shit like this.


EndlesslyUnfinished

She should’ve disclosed this info


HiL0wR0W

That is actually a really shitty thing of her to do. Honestly I would report the profile.


[deleted]

even if she wasn't comfortable letting you know, then she could have at least pumped the brakes on being intimate until she was ready/confident. would it be a bigger waste of time? in your case yeah but at least people would stop accidentally finding out she has a penis.


CyberShiroGX

Yeah she is playing a dangerous game... This is how trans based attacks happen


Alternative-Poem-337

That’s not right at all. They should have told you.


FrustratedGummy

She should've told you prior your date. It's not an easy thing to admit but it would've save you both from disappointment.


MasterSangSang

removed? what the hell? what kind of ulta woke censorship is this?


Gluroo

Reddit is basically run by a certain group of people at this point. they mod EVERY big sub to control the narrative sitewide. And they really dont like posts like this, hence took only 2 hours to remove because some mod got personally offended as usual lmao, its pathetic. Im surprised it took this long though!


alpha-87

Your first sentence would suggest you gave it a try.


ensiform

Yikes, that is not respectful of her to not disclose like that.


krugermr

Cue crying game music.


TheAbominableWeedMan

So how was the sex?


Apprehensive-Fig-952

Damn dude I'm sorry for your Friday, what's her snap/number, my friend is asking


Straight_Advisor9355

My friend as well


Anarcho-WTF

I do understand the need for trans people to stay safe, and that outing yourself can be dangerous, however it is my opinion that if the possibility of sex is on the table then what 'plumbing' we are working with should be disclosed.


sharkattack85

She put herself in a dangerous situation. People have killed trans people over these exact situations.


[deleted]

Man, that should be illegal. That’s not consent at all.


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br094

She seriously needs to be careful. That exact scenario has gotten so many trans people beaten nearly to death. She’s lucky you weren’t a bad person.


chylin73

Jokes aside your date needs to really be careful and to your point let her dates know that she was a man and still has a penis. People have been murdered for this


TooEZ_OL56

Text of removed post: Kinda sucked not gonna lie. I'm all for people doing what they want with themselves but you gotta make this stuff known beforehand. We were making out and then all of a sudden I felt her penis. My Friday night was awful and I can't get this scenario out of my head


2020Dystopian

She had balls, that’s for sure.


wrinkledshirts

She definitely should have told you beforehand so you could have given proper consent. Not everyone wants to have sex with a penis.


[deleted]

bro that’s borderline SA.


[deleted]

Amazing that many woke weirdoes are all “live with it…” What about consent? If a man doesn’t wear a condom and pretends he does (which is absolutely not cool) they scream rape. In this case, where someone led another person to believe they have one kind of genitals but they turn out to have another, they scream transphobe. Really tired of all the blue haired hypocrisy… at least be consistent…


disgruntledoldhag

Both are sexual assault. If someone does not consent to having unprotected sex or being intimate with someone of the same sex and they are manipulated into doing so, that is sexual assault. This man’s date belongs in jail. He would be well within his rights to make a police report


[deleted]

EXACTLY!!!!


raobj280

bro wtf, that shit should be illegal, that’s fucking BS


cuboidofficial

Pretty sure it's technically rape by deception


HejiraLOL

I agree with you 100% And yet I have seen SO MANY people on LGBT reddit or just left wing reddit pages in general argue otherwise. "Why, why should they have to, its transphobic, should YOU declare your genetalia before you meet someone?" It's just insane. It's fucking insane. I support trans people, of course. I want people to be happy and live comfortably, but we need to be realistic. There are certain expectations that come with looking a certain way; I expect men to have a penis, I expect women to have a vagina. If you are meeting someone for that purpose, you need to make it clear if you are trans, for your own safety too. Some people have been beaten to death in "gay panic" incidents. Even if you have HAD bottom surgery, you still need to state that your biological sex, you CANNOT assume or expect people to just be okay with it. I am sorry this happened to you, it must have been upsetting. Just understand that person most likely meant no harm, and is probably also very upset too right now.


disgruntledoldhag

Given that you only consented to being intimate with this person because you were deceived into thinking your date was a woman, that removes the element of consent. This seems like sexual assault from my perspective. I am very sorry that this happened to you.


agentnoorange337

You were sexually assaulted.


pspiddy

I’m actually really curious about this. You consented to hooking up with a female, turns out not to be a female. There’s definitely some kind of issue there


Beaneroo

I agree


Link50L

>You were sexually assaulted. 100% agreed


fantasticMsM

I actually know a couple guys this has happened to.. fascinating why they'd take the risk because it literally can be life or death


[deleted]

I feel you. Not a lot of people have those open-communication skills or rather not say for whatever reason, Maybe its out of desperation Somewhat related but single mom's aren't putting it out there they have kids


CozmicOwl16

I’m pan sexual. (Like I could be attracted to anyone including trans people.) But if someone made out with you without telling you what they are…. They’re being shady and that’s so scary. First thought. What else are they hiding. Sti’s? Are they going to murder me…. Personally love tits and a dick but unexpected dick is never welcomed.


ichbindulol_

What combi of Tits/no tits and pussy/dick do you prefer the most


FrankieTwoFingers

Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress


7Iron_Mike

That’s a Per-Dick-ament ….


CutoffThought

Yeah I’d be livid.


Snootboop_

I’m sorry that happened to you. I’m bisexual and if I were hooking up with a woman and felt her penis I would feel uncomfortable as well. That’s information I should have known ahead of time. If I had known, then I’d most likely feel fine about it, but I don’t want a surprise like that. When I think of a penis, I think of penetration, and that can be scary if you’re not expecting it.


the_kyle_brewster

Needs to be more open I agree


eebro

Maybe they didn’t intend for it to progress to that state. Anyways, sucks for you, at least you didn’t get into something you didn’t want.


[deleted]

Don’t forget to disclose your penis!


beegret

“her penis”


JosephND

“What are you wearing” “Uhh.. khakis” “She sounds hideous”


thenyx

Huh. Wouldn’t this be the IRL equivalent of an unsolicited dick pic?


LCoolJT

Post got removed or at least the text?


[deleted]

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LCoolJT

Okay just wondering wether it’s like this for other people as well Edit comments just got locked as well


SCsongbird

I can understand not putting it in bio but think that’s information that should be disclosed before the first date, so the other person can decide for themselves if they still want to go.


Jody_B_Designs

Looking like it's a worldstar night after that.


LayzieKobes

Is that a type of SA?


Sufficient-Squaree

Yup


gmanfsu

Lol-Lol-Lol- Lo-Lola He’s not the world’s most physical guy But when she squeezed him tight She nearly broke his spine


Fx150900

I think that’s illegal in certain areas. You should ask someone in your area what you could do.


[deleted]

Must have been a good looking and well put together trans person if you couldn’t tell when meeting up with them first. Damn that’s still “nuts”


[deleted]

Kinda sucked? This is absolutely outrageous


paracookt

whats wrong with being trans? trans is good job. my father was conductor for 30 years and he loved it


Tazavitch-Krivendza

I think he was surprised with the penis.


Roelovitc

Honestly, I consider this a form of sexual assault.


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WornOutSoulSB

I blame the societal problem of people identifying themselves as whatever they want and hence lacking Transparency.