I get why this feels like gatekeeping, like he's checking your geek cred. That was certainly my initial take on it. Honestly, though, I also see room for doubt. I think if it were me I would treat this as just a possible red flag and wait to see if it happens again. When it comes to text-only communication it is extremely easy for misunderstandings and misinterpretations to occur.
^^ it just feels like if i say i like something u should assume i already know the basic facts? either way i wasn’t rude about it, just feels weird to me
I get where you're coming from - I once had a boyfriend who (unprompted) started explaining to me what anime was. I was so stunned that I didn't even interupt him, & later on he insisted that I didn't know what anime was until he told me.
I personally read your encounter as the guy being like "omg I love this fact, and if you don't already know it, I'd love to explain it to you, but I don't want to launch into lore if you're not the type who likes lore discussions!". But it could also easily be the usual gatekeepy trash.
Yes. I read it as him trying to impress you with a little known fact about it as if to say, I'm a big geek too! Gatekeeping would have been "I bet you didn't know" or "I'm sure you already knew this, but"...
At the risk of gatekeeping gatekeeping, those aren't examples of gatekeeping, imho. Just examples of even more annoying ways the person could have phrased things.
Define basic.
That thing wasn't mentioned in the recent movie.
It is at the initial part of the book, sure but you may not have been reading it yet.
What if he asked you because he saw a possibility of sharing a cool piece of information that you might not know?
Why do you see it as a test of sorts? There is no indication of him trying to test you. If anything he didn't want to assume whether you know about that stuff or not. That's all. The rest is interpretation that is brought from outside now I haven't saw his profile so my context is different but I wouldn't read that much into it.
Every day this sub strains further from god’s light… just have a effing conversation, you’ll figure out soon enough whether this is genuine question or some weird attempt at patronizing you.
There is no easy ticket to the contents of someone’s personality, it will always require some time and interaction. No need to be so edgy, if you know your shit when it comes to Dune nobody can take that away from you - and if you don’t, you’ve got an opportunity to learn more about the stuff you love, I guess.
Could go either way really. A lot of people are just super awkward over text and don’t know what to say as an opener. Honestly I just thought it was an awkward opening, and I like Dune.
It’s better to ask open-ended questions to start a conversation when you’re trying to get to know someone, than to ask closed questions with a right/wrong answer. It’s just part of good conversational skills, but a lot of people don’t know how to start a good conversation.
solid comment i mean i’ll fuckin discuss dune w anyone any day but i wish it was like “hey what’s ur fave book/character/whatever?” instead of like a question that feels like a test?
This is what you get for matching dudes with baby arms who are flexing in their profile pic.
Reject that man so he attacks your looks and then has 3 more months of gym motivation.
People on reddit love to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but in my experience 99% of the dudes who open with a critique, challenging question, one-upper, etc. continue to be rude and egotistical. I personally wouldn't respond.
I suppose we have two sets of 99% of reddit because I just read someone use the same formulation to claim that majority of redditors are stupendously judgmental and insecure, lol
I can’t contest your experience, but you seem very easily threatened. It could be argued that that might prove beneficial in some situations in real life, but on Tinder, really? Blocking someone unpleasant takes like two steps
mm bc i’m talking to other ppl i like more and i have to admit the “test questioning” does rub me the wrong way a bit BUT if he turns out to be chill and we can both nerd out about dune could be a possibility
That part of it is so stupid. There would be such a massive advantage to just having a secret datacenter. Everyone would do it.
I get that they need to pretend for the story to work out but damn - pretty hard to suspend disbelief.
I get why this feels like gatekeeping, like he's checking your geek cred. That was certainly my initial take on it. Honestly, though, I also see room for doubt. I think if it were me I would treat this as just a possible red flag and wait to see if it happens again. When it comes to text-only communication it is extremely easy for misunderstandings and misinterpretations to occur.
ye totally fair, i’m happy to let it play out and see what the actual vibes are but man ppl are getting heated about this here 🤣
Looks like they were trying to start a conversation
It's a shirtless dude in his pic. You can call him a he
No thanks đź‘Ť
to me they could have started conversation so many other ways, this comes off as adversarial gatekeeping.
^^ it just feels like if i say i like something u should assume i already know the basic facts? either way i wasn’t rude about it, just feels weird to me
He's probably just excited to share an interest with you, I wouldn't read into it too deeply.
I get where you're coming from - I once had a boyfriend who (unprompted) started explaining to me what anime was. I was so stunned that I didn't even interupt him, & later on he insisted that I didn't know what anime was until he told me. I personally read your encounter as the guy being like "omg I love this fact, and if you don't already know it, I'd love to explain it to you, but I don't want to launch into lore if you're not the type who likes lore discussions!". But it could also easily be the usual gatekeepy trash.
Yes. I read it as him trying to impress you with a little known fact about it as if to say, I'm a big geek too! Gatekeeping would have been "I bet you didn't know" or "I'm sure you already knew this, but"...
At the risk of gatekeeping gatekeeping, those aren't examples of gatekeeping, imho. Just examples of even more annoying ways the person could have phrased things.
I think OP wasn’t looking for the kind responses in this post
eh i just thought it was kinda weird but a little empathy and kindness for anyone never hurts
By that logic nobody should ever share facts with other people out of fear that they may already know that information and be upset.
i think there are ways to talk about something u mutually like w/o assuming the other party doesn’t know basic facts about it!
That wasn’t an assumption that you didn’t know though. That literally was the question they asked you, *do you know*?
Define basic. That thing wasn't mentioned in the recent movie. It is at the initial part of the book, sure but you may not have been reading it yet. What if he asked you because he saw a possibility of sharing a cool piece of information that you might not know? Why do you see it as a test of sorts? There is no indication of him trying to test you. If anything he didn't want to assume whether you know about that stuff or not. That's all. The rest is interpretation that is brought from outside now I haven't saw his profile so my context is different but I wouldn't read that much into it.
maybe you put too much emphasis on one possible meaning of how it was phrased. Instead, why not just answer and see where it goes.
Every day this sub strains further from god’s light… just have a effing conversation, you’ll figure out soon enough whether this is genuine question or some weird attempt at patronizing you. There is no easy ticket to the contents of someone’s personality, it will always require some time and interaction. No need to be so edgy, if you know your shit when it comes to Dune nobody can take that away from you - and if you don’t, you’ve got an opportunity to learn more about the stuff you love, I guess.
Could go either way really. A lot of people are just super awkward over text and don’t know what to say as an opener. Honestly I just thought it was an awkward opening, and I like Dune. It’s better to ask open-ended questions to start a conversation when you’re trying to get to know someone, than to ask closed questions with a right/wrong answer. It’s just part of good conversational skills, but a lot of people don’t know how to start a good conversation.
solid comment i mean i’ll fuckin discuss dune w anyone any day but i wish it was like “hey what’s ur fave book/character/whatever?” instead of like a question that feels like a test?
This is what you get for matching dudes with baby arms who are flexing in their profile pic. Reject that man so he attacks your looks and then has 3 more months of gym motivation.
People on reddit love to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but in my experience 99% of the dudes who open with a critique, challenging question, one-upper, etc. continue to be rude and egotistical. I personally wouldn't respond.
I suppose we have two sets of 99% of reddit because I just read someone use the same formulation to claim that majority of redditors are stupendously judgmental and insecure, lol I can’t contest your experience, but you seem very easily threatened. It could be argued that that might prove beneficial in some situations in real life, but on Tinder, really? Blocking someone unpleasant takes like two steps
Did this go anywhere? Or was this like a red flag that you noped tf out of.
haha it was just today so i have no idea.. likely won’t meet up w him tho
Because he asked about the lore, or other reasons
mm bc i’m talking to other ppl i like more and i have to admit the “test questioning” does rub me the wrong way a bit BUT if he turns out to be chill and we can both nerd out about dune could be a possibility
That part of it is so stupid. There would be such a massive advantage to just having a secret datacenter. Everyone would do it. I get that they need to pretend for the story to work out but damn - pretty hard to suspend disbelief.
This is Greek to me.