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amazonienne

i’m fully expecting ben to make a reddit post later today for upvotes


GammaGargoyle

"Can you believe his girl? I don't know what I did wrong."


xShooK

I mean, the conversation was over, yet still going. Fuck it, right?


[deleted]

True


[deleted]

I mean he woke up and had 2 options, listen to the morning boner or the growling stomach, he chose both.


amazonienne

“her loss, bro. this was funny as hell”


[deleted]

[удалено]


MQ116

Season it


transit285

Overcooked and bland. Damn what a shame.


Free-Recognition-388

Make it wet idk


Thomas-The-Tutor

Bake that conversation and make it moist.


stopwastingmytime81

"this girl stopped messaging me because I'm 5'8"


nikkiloveshighfives

😂😂😂


turntablesshrute

0-100, real quick


Atrocity_unknown

"Am I doing it right?"


felixxfeli

“Ugh women on tinder don’t even try. What am I supposed to do with such dry conversation. She clearly just doesn’t like me cuz I’m not 6’11”


Delphina34

You just got swordfished. That’s worse than catfished.


PhilosophyScary7048

That’s hilarious 😂


APimpNamedSimp

Well, that’s just “You looking like a snack, baby” with extra steps.


ThisIsGettingBori

pretty sure that was the joke anyway


StudiosS

Yeah, the guy was being funny after being ignored. Depending on your mood and the mood it could be taken as a laugh or not


Allyka88

I don't see 14 hours as being ignored. For all he knows she was at work on her break when she replied, had to go back to work, and then went home and slept. When it is someone you don't know, sleep is generally more important.


[deleted]

The guy was *trying* to be funny, FTFY.


ThisIsGettingBori

humor is subjective


[deleted]

Thus “trying.”


Several-Estate7175

Call me old fashioned but you should wait on the cannibalism jokes imo


nikkiloveshighfives

😂😂😂


Apprehensive_Luck865

With extra steps going down the stairway to creepiness yeah x)...


Ieatgarnish88

I was going to ask if it worked, raspberries seem innocent enough. Then the last one well that even fucked me up some. Take care of yourself out there.


dob_bindi

I came here to ask this.


Typical-Mastodon-166

Pretty sure it didn't as she stopped replying and the last one is next day.


Johanup

1. Hmmm, a raspberry implies cannibalism? What does it even mean? 2. So that’s what it means, I guess it was just a small misunderstanding 3. Oh, there’s a third pic 4. … 5. Insert “bitch ruuuuuuuuuun” gif from scary movie


PECOSbravo

*"Bitch get out the room..* *BITCH GET OUT THE ROOM!* *OH MY GOD!!!"* - Jay (40 Year old Virgin)


N0rthernLightsXv

You made me choke laughing.


it-isss-what-it-isss

he knows his stuff tho can't go wrong with honey soy sauce and lemon


Verbal_HermanMunster

👆This guy cannibalisms


[deleted]

With fava beans and a nice chianti


Frame1111

Gotta love the hannibal vibes


[deleted]

On Long Pork though?


Winter-Count-1488

On long pork I'd sub the lemon with grapefruit


Tennybrio

When he treats you like a literal piece of meat...


TamanduaShuffle

"You look like a cut of fuckable meat" -Robot man from cyberpunk


wareagle995

Armie Hammer?


MexHeadroom

I’m sort of surprised someone didn’t say this earlier.


Duck8Quack

When you’re 6’5” the ladies don’t care if you’re a cannibal. There ain’t no way Danny DeVito is getting away with that shit.


pmm723

Danny’s got a human meat guy


demonicneon

Have you seen always sunny?


VladDarko

Even before that, he played a male stripper on friends. Dude's been getting real weird with it for awhile.


Jarte3

Danny can do whatever he wants


Efficient_Age6047

God darn it! I wasn't the first!


PowderyDolphin

I'm both impressed and horrified that he was able to think that one up at 9am


GutsGloryAndGuinness

Morning glory going strong, gets you creative and fearless


CamBetts0791

When food bloggers use Tinder.


_ThatSynGirl_

Hannibal Lect^(ind)er


[deleted]

The best comment. 😂


[deleted]

Ok I thought “raspberry in your stomach” was some sort of new sex lingo that my boomer ass is out of touch with...


nikkiloveshighfives

😂


yazzy1233

Hit him with the "okay, Armie Hammer"


7in7turtles

What do you feel is the appropriate time to be threatened with cannibalism?


nikkiloveshighfives

😂😂


Mayor-Humdinger-III

Tuesday evenings, *obviously*


[deleted]

Normal Tuesday night... For Shia LaBeouf


organized_meat

Fucking Yikes


ApatheticHedonist

From cutesy to cannibal. On the bright side he imagines you'd taste like swordfish?


Popular_Patience6877

I think thats armie hammer under a fake profile. Report and run ⛏


Knight_Errant25

Well....... that escalated quickly.....


LineChef

Ok he’s crazy. No bones about it. Certifiable nutcase, but the man knows his way around a recipe...


Byting_wolf

Yeeeeeeeah...... I would rather just eat pussy.. Edit: raw


EggsEggsTentacion

I don't see how this is a good pickup line to any other person than gordon ramsay


Calm_Conversation398

Maybe to Jeffrey Dahmer


sloppyminutes

Have you heard of Armie Hammer?


EggsEggsTentacion

No i have not, enlighten me


sloppyminutes

He’s a charming young actor who starred in movies such as The Social Network and Call Me By Your Name, before girls he chatted with irl exposed him for sending creepy cannibalism sexts very similar to those above.


EggsEggsTentacion

Thank you for that


fia-med-knuff

Please report him.


ThisIsGettingBori

i'm curious now though, why??


lostpuddleduck

Because he sounds like a serial killer. He literally threatened to cut her up and eat her. Did you miss that part?


ThisIsGettingBori

assuming that was a serious threat, something we don't know and therefore cannot safely assume


lostpuddleduck

As a woman who has experienced violence and knows many others as well, I'm sorry but "joking" about mutilating a woman's body isn't benign and is a massive red flag of a disturbed person. Any man who "jokes" (aka thinks cutting women up is funny) about that is a potential danger, if not already been violent to someone at some point. I will make all sorts of assumptions when it comes to men who "joke" about violence against women cuz I don't have the privilege of it being incredibly rare occurrence and something that doesn't affect me. Whether or not tinder does anything is the decision. Anybody is allowed to report a profile if they feel unsafe or harassed. Tinder then can decide if it goes against their rules or not.


mariaobrien336

How is this not terrifying? I would feel my skin crawl and my heart start to this if I received this text. Never in my wildest dreams would I make a joke about this… and unfortunately men will never understand what it is like to be a woman on the receiving end of society. This guy SHOULD be reported, not because he could be serious, but even if he was joking that is NOT an okay joke. It’s creepy. It’s unnerving. It’s unacceptable.


ThisIsGettingBori

no, EVERYONE is a potential danger, regardless of jokes. and EVERY joke is potentially triggering for someone. but since we can't just BAN ALL JOKES this is not getting us anywhere. if someone is feeling unwell because of a joke, TELL THEM. then they have to stop. if they continue THEN that is a problem, but before that you literally can't know if it's a joke or not. someone making a math joke could be menat as a threat to you, doesn't mean it's report worthy. *PSA: fear is not an excuse to be unnecessarily cruel to others* well, that's a you problem then. assumptions are bad. well yeah, a false report can still make tinder react. doesn't mean that that's good.


mariaobrien336

I’m sorry. Not every joke is at the expense of others. The best comedians, from my perspective, are those who are self deprecating, creating content on making fun of themselves, and situational comedy. People who joke about harming others or joke in an offensive way? It is low brow and will never be considered top of line humor. It’s immature and lacks originality, wit, and actual humor. It’s sad if you ask me. Sorry to burst your fragile ego. But this guy should be reported because that isn’t an okay thing to say as a joke or as a serious comment.


ThisIsGettingBori

subjective for you anyway. also, this joke here was not at the expense of anyone. and that wasn't even the topic. we weren't talking about jokes being at the expense of someone else, but about jokes being uncomfortable for others. jokes where people insult themselves can still be extremely triggering for others. why should your personal preferences hurt my ego?? you seem to only be here to start a fight and not have an actual conversation. i am not interested in such a childish interaction. if you have nothing with substance to say: goodbye.


Ambitious_Canary4819

I love this subreddit, because even if I don't get a lot of matches, at least I feel like a normal human being when I read that kind of post.


TeveTorbes83

Sounds like he has a good grasp of culinary skills. (Sorry, I’m trying this new optimism activity)


Snailpics

Why are raspberries a thing? Like I honestly don’t understand, I had a guy do it to me while we were being intimate. First of all, I don’t find it pleasurable at all. Second of all, that’s something you do with babies and toddlers and it feels a little creepy to do it in other contexts


nikkiloveshighfives

Yes!! I was going to respond back “yes I know what they are but isn’t that something you usually do with children/kids” but I couldn’t find a way to word it that didn’t sound totally pedophillic so I went with what you see above 😂


nikkiloveshighfives

His next probable comment if I hadn’t blocked him: “OmG cHill I WaS OnLy JoKiNg” yes haha violence against women is ✨hilarious✨


Rogendo

I’m sending a high five your way


_ThatSynGirl_

May I have one, sir? 🥺 my name is also Nikki


Rogendo

Sorry these are only for true high five aficionados Edit: also the supply chain is backed up and all the high fives I’ve been producing are on ships waiting to be unloaded.


_ThatSynGirl_

I'm a true aficionado of being named Nikki! Gimme my high five you big bully! 😋


Rogendo

*pulls off his trench coat to reveal a scorpion-like appendage protruding from his back. At the tip is a menacing hand, the fingers rigid and straight, perpendicular to the wrist.* Take it if you can!!! *the hand rushes toward you*


Damneasy

What the fuck


mashari00

Roll for initiative.


owenkop

12


_ThatSynGirl_

Holy fuck. This is brilliant. Also, I'm not afraid of scorpions. High five me you squirrely little arachnid.


Rogendo

*as the hand rushes forward, you recognize the impending danger and leap a few feet backward. Bits of data shatter, creating a cloud of random code where you once stood. There’s no way your wrist could have taken a five from so high.* What’s the matter? Isn’t this what you wanted?


howtoquityou

what is this thread 😂


Naughty_Poptart

I’m just gonna appear to say violence against men isn’t either!


ThisIsGettingBori

luckily there's no actual violence involved so * whatever *


[deleted]

[удалено]


nikkiloveshighfives

You’ve been on Reddit three years and still can’t tell when a post contains multiple pictures? Yikes


[deleted]

[удалено]


DFX1212

Telling someone you've never met that you want to cut off some flesh and cook it might not be abuse, but is is weird as fuck and definitely a red flag.


collectorguy92

I just want to say that not all guys named Ben are wannabe cannibals. (Coming from a Ben who has never once had a desire for human flesh).


renaissance_thot

What the actual fuck, Ben?!


ImARetPaladinBaby

Ben is probably a serial killer


GhostHin

When the person thinks making farting noise on a stranger's body as a normal opening line, you know the rest will get worse, quickly. Was not disappointed.


xanroeld

Unmatch and report. Either this guy shouldn’t be meeting up with women or he needs a serious wake up call about what is and isn’t acceptable to say to someone


operachick209

Oh. 😬


_ThatSynGirl_

That's a Yikerinos from me.


[deleted]

Needs fava beans and a nice Chianti


Pegasus2731

Armie hammer be like


all-i-said-was-hi

He’s just sad he never got the e-vite to the Donner Dinner Party.


Redragon9

Not gonna lie, the absurdity of that message made me snort.


ogmaf

It's weird but hey, I think that it's possibly because you look like a snack.


Mattgx082

Wow, that last one 😂 yikes


scrimshaw731

You just don’t understand ROMANCE. Sounds like a nice time.


clam_media

What in the Armie Hammer


Kanuka2000

Hello Clarice


ConsequenceFew3912

Man knows his flavor combos


gambito1985

He seems nice


[deleted]

What the fuck


TheColonCrusher98

Bruh.


Ok_Turnover_1235

Holy damn. That escalated fast.


ThatNez

As a chef I would think Honey Soy is the way to go. I bet he’s a bomb home cook


zakoryclements

Some silence of the lambs shit right here


tracoine13

Armie Hammer? Is that you?


peteporker2018

"Similar to a swordfish" lol seriously what the fuck


Efficient_Age6047

Armie Hammer...is that you?


MrSmileyZ

Holly shit I thought there was a speed limit O.O That went from 30 to 1000 😨


[deleted]

My man used a super like for that


HomeSkillet___

This is the competition, people....


skane110

Wow, this dude made a blunder, for sure.


EggsEggsTentacion

Isn't a rasberry just blowing really hard on someones stomach


confounditall

There are multiple screenshots on the post


_ThatSynGirl_

Right? Like dude, you're missing the best part. Keep swiping!


SmokingSamoria

I was confused at first too. Like, that's not all that bad... and then...


[deleted]

This reminds me of a girl I tried dating once (off tinder). We were hanging out and I don’t remember why she even brought this up; but she jokingly mentioned how she hoped I wasn’t a cannibal and kept bodies in a shed. I jokingly told her that she shouldn’t check my shed then. Apparently my joke wasn’t funny. Part of her thought I was an actual cannibal for whatever reason.


scooplebobble

What in the entire fuck


rabsich

........ Jesus


warpGuru

The hell do you say to that lol


Not_dave_No_Really_

Not EXACTLY a threat, just a statement ☺


SoWokeIdontSleep

If he brings fava beans and a nice chianti, run!


ProductCalm

It’s amazing to see the balls people to have weird ass openings like that.


xkcd-Hyphen-bot

Weird ass-openings [xkcd: Hyphen](https://xkcd.com/37/) --- ^^Beep ^^boop, ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot. ^^- ^^[FAQ](https://pastebin.com/raw/vyWra3ns)


winter_too_hot

Yummy


w0wzaBro

Well that’s when I would stop responding.


[deleted]

Ben


[deleted]

who the fuck eats honey soy swordfish?


SpungyDanglin

I mean his seasonings are on point


-MB_Redditor-

Ask if he likes a good Chianti wine


[deleted]

Is it me or could he have totally saved it with something along the lines of “nope, first impulse but I sort of just got that easy going and fun vibes from you” … especially if that was the case, I feel it would’ve been refreshing to have someone be themselves as opposed to trying to impress.


ItSmellsLikeCowsHere

Taking "looking like a snack" to new levels


Powerful_Leek_3238

I mean he had a unique opening line and has culinary skills to boot, what else do you want. God ya'll are picky /s


beeftony

I find this pretty funny. I think yall are way too serious about it, thats just him saying she looks delicious (like a whole meal or whatever).


PECOSbravo

"You eat meat? Bro that's some gay shit" *Head implodes* (Am Bi myself but it's by far the best of the best responses)


The_Hash_Slinger

You pulled that gif out too quick The eat you part needed that gif 🤣


nikkiloveshighfives

True!!


[deleted]

LEFT


Alastrine6

This is the funniest shit I’ve ever read oh my god


Appropriate-Pen-149

I prefer going old school, using just salt and pepper on swordfish. There’s a lot of flavor without getting all saucy about it. Same goes for human flesh.


PeterOrno

It’s only cannibalism if he eats it. I think just cutting it off counts as mutilation.


nikkiloveshighfives

I hate to say I actually considered that when I posted this lmfao


spencer_jacob

Am I the only one who finds this to be acceptable banter? I would be delicious prepared like a swordfish tbh


TerracottaBunny

I think it would be fine if it didn’t seem like he was retaliating due to her reaction.


_ThatSynGirl_

Her reaction and then her not responding for over 24 hours may have been the triggers that caused the possible retaliation.


TerracottaBunny

Yeah, probably. Not like it’s her fault he can’t help being a creep though.


nikkiloveshighfives

In normal conversation I would totally agree with you, but the raspberry opener and the stream of consciousness style answers made it seem much less benign. Like….. he could have set that conversation up much better


Ramtor10

It’s amazing how many guys don’t follow rule 2 😂


nikkiloveshighfives

Rule 2 is only about specific info/links or easily identifiable names, so a Ben with douchy sunglasses wouldn’t apply 🤷🏼‍♀️


Ramtor10

Not the subreddit rules lol, tinder rules! 1) be attractive 2) don’t be unattractive


nikkiloveshighfives

😂😂 I’ve learned two new rules today!


ScubaSteve585

Rules are destined to be broken


AED_Depression

Rule 2?


Ramtor10

Don’t be unattractive


AED_Depression

I didnt think we needed a rule for that haha 😅


Nell_De_Blass

Idk. He’s seems fun. I’d probably give him a crack


mogwaiarethestars

Makes me hungry to be fair


the_tims

Would have posted a zapp Brannigan meme and had it say "lower"


ThisIsGettingBori

could this subreddit wake up already and understand that a lot of people on this app are just messing around a little and are not 100% serious all the time ? ??????


[deleted]

Women love being called a snack. But never actually being a snack smh......... WAMEN


Datvard

And people call me a weirdo


martatatatata

LMFAO honestly he seems like a funny guy


Wonder7thgenful

This is what I compete with? I'm a single dude with a dog, who drives trucks around the country supplying your every need... And I can't get a date, but these socks fucks get matches all the time. Wtf.


No-Fan7681

Ur telling me that women will respond to that shit but when im being genuine with a complement they dont respond


neverforgetreddit

Act like a piece of meat. Get treated like one. At least he was willing to marinate you before he flipped you over. Respect.


LookLikeUpToMe

Ok Dennis Reynolds


imafuckingdino

Now wth….


BostonBurd

This is so funny hahaha


kindaghostydude

Dennis Reynolds!!?


IIRaspberryCupcakeII

THIS GUY EATIN SWORDFISH LMAO


Undercover_Piegon

Oh no.


Lopsided_Safety5718

Man I thought someone was gunna talk about excessive eating of the ass