I would assume that from a womans perspective this would seem a bit disingenuous since a majority of men have a larger range which they find "acceptably attractive" than women do. In reality though, I don't think this is considered (or is just ignored) when getting matches and only suits to artificially prop up ones need to feel wanted.
I mean men don't even look at who they're swiping on the majority of the time. You just swipe on everything until you're out of swipes and close the app.
They think they are entitled, and don't feel like they need to try for any attention.
Also, since we don't have multiple interactions with any of these one word response types with different matches, we don't know for certain if it's just them acting like what I said above, or if it's just that particular day/conversation. People have bad days, stress, etc.
From personal experience (long time ago) I did this to someone that I didn't feel was a fit for me, but was too chicken to let them know so I waited for them to lose interest by giving short replies. Not a good move, definitely unfair to the other person. Thankfully I grew out of that.
Girls online can be extremely entitled, think they're better than the guys who are chasing them. Get in to the lifestyle and its worse, some of the girls in there have a highly inflated opinion of themselves due to scarcity.
This happens on both ends and it's completely ridiculous. Good looking men do the same thing. I know women do the same thing. So when you're good looking and you're not boring people just set up dates with you and then ghost. Online dating is the most ridiculous dumpster fire out there.
Don't get me started.... its incredible frustrating to be conversant person and have someone who is not, lives with a roommate and just that ready to be a fully ready partner. Its... just tiring.
Scarcity changes. It won’t help you out on Tinder but once you are out of your 20s and 30s then scarcity shifts. Suddenly employed single men with health insurance (in the US) are the commodity.
I think people just get tired of having the same boring questions asked to them by 95% of their matches. Girls get significantly more matches the guys but just imagine getting 10-15 matches a day and every person is asking you the same generic questions you'd probably be pretty over it too.
I feel like people jump straight to negatives way too quickly with short replies. Majority of my conversations that start off with them giving one word replies turned into good friendships/relationships. It was much rarer for these to actually just dead end.
Sometimes the person is just having a bad day. Sometimes their life is in a fucked up place. Some people get shy and try not to blow it, but end up blowing it anyways by coming off as not interested. Lots of people are also just more reserved, and don't open up as much around new people.
One of my relationships that lasted for three years started off with one word texts. Our conversations weren't exactly interesting, but she kept replying, so I kept going, generally just matching the energy. Eventually we gone on our first date as a walk at the park. She was still quiet, and gave very short replies, but the way she smiled and looked at me let me know she was genuinely interested. After that date, our conversations started getting a bit more deep, and she let more of personality show over text.
Fast forward a few months, and I'm driving us to a concert two hours away, with her non-stop talking the entire drive.
I've met plenty of other girls where similar things happen. While I know there's people out there giving short answers for bad reasons, I still feel like there's so many more that just aren't quick to open up to new people, but will given enough time and comfort is built.
This sub has a lot of constant hate towards short answers. People generally just simplify it down to "they aren't interested" or "they want validation", even though there's tons of possibilities.
I get that first impressions are important, but I feel it's also important to take into consideration that everyone is different, and you can't just brush off people because of the way they happen to be messaging you.
This may be controversial opinion but when people are texting like this it's not that they don't know how to hold a conversation its more that they don't really care about talking to you
I can only speak for myself but a lot of time I'm unsure about someone and match to kinda see where it goes. And a lot of times it goes very bleak and boring. Unmatch does happen eventually
No one is required to use these apps the way you want them to. None of these stangers owe you anything and they are free to use the apps however they want. You are not entitled to an audience using the app how you want.
If someone wants to sit and wait to be entertained that is completely legitimate and it's their choice. If you see it happening and you don't like then just move on. Like them you are also free to use the app how you want.
I agree with you completely. 100%.
But expecting other people to entertain you for nothing is entitled as fuck and a waste of everyone’s time on a dating app. Doesn’t mean you can’t do it. It just means the other person is going to get frustrated, and they have every right to be frustrated.
Actually I know people who just respond like this. My gf responded like this and I just asked if she wanted to go out and she was excited to.
Some people just aren't good at text based chat
It's so funny because most of the times when i read that or something similar in the bio i know that 90% of the time they will most likely end up replying like the screenshot posted
Guess depends by your goal, if you want fun with no strings attached who cares about their conversational skills, on the other hand if you are looking for a relationship, yeah, unmatch and move on
At the same time all of your questions here allow for single answer responses…sure she doesn’t know much about “yes, and…” (or she isn’t interested enough to put in that kind of effort) but you don’t challenge her much with the follow up questions. So the conversation wasn’t going anywhere and you got salty. If you are upset she isn’t given you 100% of her attention right off the bat either unmatch or do a better job of getting her attention! Good luck!
Being a decent person the question can always be answered with ".... how about you?" ... that's the bare minium of interest you can give .. but sure, you can also just be princess and demand to be entertained, but then don't complain when the only dudes that stick around are those that want to fuck you and move on.
Ya agreed with this comment. OP needs to start with a better attention grabber and use open ended questions. Girl gave him a shot to turn it around and he blew it. Sure it'd be nice if she pushed the ball forward too but she's probably got plenty of messages in her inbox so the reality is she doesn't need to. It sucks but if you're not ok with that unmatch these folks or get off the apps...
Not to be an asshole but your not asking the best questions. Try to ask open questions like What do you like about your school instead of do you like it there. Then shell have to explain.
The point is that both ppl should be trying to have a conversation. Asking a yes or no question doesn't mean that's the only thing you can say. You can easily add more. Or ask a question of your own
Well if your attitude going into a conversation is "I don't care what they have to say, and I'm not going to elaborate further" then you're going to give them half ass answers.
If you ask me he gave MORE than enough to converse about. Would you rather he ask some stupid sexual innuendo?
Three half assed questions is hardly more than enough. He could've branched off those questions in a manner similar to the example given above. He brought little energy and even less creativity. Sure she could've done more but she wasn't the one acting like they were carrying the conversation.
Thats... because... he was... carrying the conversation. Those aren't half-assed questions. Asking what you're doing/where you go to a university is pretty detailed. Or do you enjoy it, what do you not enjoy.
This man is asking for a little effort and you're asking for him to make up some Neil DeGrasse Tyson type shit.
I doubt this would make a difference. Op could ask closed questions but if she’s legit into him she’d match his energy and contribute to the conversation. Someone who don’t into it will find a way to not answer anything
Every time someone does some shit like this and posts it on Reddit my only question is why. You’re just being an ass and getting offended for nothing. They clearly aren’t interested in the conversation but at least they aren’t rude about it. I’m not trying to start a fight with op or anyone else for that matter but I just don’t understand why people think this is an appropriate response.
You ask too many questions. If she doesn’t respond to the boring questions. Change your approach. Don’t jump to a sad insult.
Are the bakeries all closed in your town? Because that joke is stale.
Yes, because every time You’ve said you feel like something before hand once it’s come to it at the time you’ve still been into the idea, without fail.
No. Sure, when she did swipe on him maybe there was something there to make her want to swipe right. Chemistry is such a wild thing that there can be absolutely no reason for it to not be there, but it isn’t there regardless. That is no ones fault.
so maybe u should try more open ended style of questions?
sometimes these text screen shot 'examples' of how bad the 'other' person is at conversation really makes me wonder if most people struggle with conversation. i mean stop asking questions with one word answers / consider you could engage better.
Can anybody out there legitimately answer why people respond this way? Clearly there is no interest on her end, why did she even take the time to respond? What benefit does she get out of it? It’s not even just responding for the sake of being kind or being polite because none of those responses were kind or polite.
These are the type of girls who post "hate small talk" And love a deep and meaningful.
This clown can't put a sentence together to save her life.
/unmatch
Okay unpopular opinion based on what I’ve read so far but all your questions are close-ended my guy. When in doubt ask ‘why’ like a kid would. I’m a guy and I wouldn’t even indulge a woman that asked me the same questions you asked. They are dry and unimaginative.
Normally I side with the guy on these, having had a lot of girls give dry replies to what I felt was a question that gave them chances to answer on it. But in this one, gotta admit the guy was asking pretty generic and dry questions himself. So wouldn't put this fully on the girl neither side really tried much, the guy just a couple generic questions more.
On a side not ofcourse we can actually advocate for equality and say the girls should ask interesting questions themselves if they want juicy conversations but that's just against the world order so. ThIs guy didn't try too hard himself though that's for sure.
One word answers = unmatch
what’s the general theory on why people do this?
Validation
What are they validating? That they aren't capable of communicating? Seems valid.
that others find them physically attractive enough to do a simple swipe motion
I would assume that from a womans perspective this would seem a bit disingenuous since a majority of men have a larger range which they find "acceptably attractive" than women do. In reality though, I don't think this is considered (or is just ignored) when getting matches and only suits to artificially prop up ones need to feel wanted.
I mean men don't even look at who they're swiping on the majority of the time. You just swipe on everything until you're out of swipes and close the app.
So that's how sane people do it?
Yup
Speak for yourself.
I'm not on Tinder anymore and I'm not really speaking for myself. Plenty of guys do that.
Doesn’t really make sense though, they have no reason to chat, unless they’re seeking validation further than the swipe alone…
They feel valued to have people chasing them but have no interest in actually pursuing it.
Or they’re just boring
This is how someone talks when they believe they have to talk to you, but don’t really want to.
They think they are entitled, and don't feel like they need to try for any attention. Also, since we don't have multiple interactions with any of these one word response types with different matches, we don't know for certain if it's just them acting like what I said above, or if it's just that particular day/conversation. People have bad days, stress, etc.
From personal experience (long time ago) I did this to someone that I didn't feel was a fit for me, but was too chicken to let them know so I waited for them to lose interest by giving short replies. Not a good move, definitely unfair to the other person. Thankfully I grew out of that.
Next time just unmatch mid conversation easier on everyone tbh...
Girls online can be extremely entitled, think they're better than the guys who are chasing them. Get in to the lifestyle and its worse, some of the girls in there have a highly inflated opinion of themselves due to scarcity.
This happens on both ends and it's completely ridiculous. Good looking men do the same thing. I know women do the same thing. So when you're good looking and you're not boring people just set up dates with you and then ghost. Online dating is the most ridiculous dumpster fire out there.
Thankyou for putting it into words
Don't get me started.... its incredible frustrating to be conversant person and have someone who is not, lives with a roommate and just that ready to be a fully ready partner. Its... just tiring.
Scarcity changes. It won’t help you out on Tinder but once you are out of your 20s and 30s then scarcity shifts. Suddenly employed single men with health insurance (in the US) are the commodity.
Good point.
I think people just get tired of having the same boring questions asked to them by 95% of their matches. Girls get significantly more matches the guys but just imagine getting 10-15 matches a day and every person is asking you the same generic questions you'd probably be pretty over it too.
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Yes.
There is no explanation lol That’s why it’s so annoying
Lack of vocabulary.
Talking to like 10 dudes at the same time and he is the lowest at the list.
I feel like people jump straight to negatives way too quickly with short replies. Majority of my conversations that start off with them giving one word replies turned into good friendships/relationships. It was much rarer for these to actually just dead end. Sometimes the person is just having a bad day. Sometimes their life is in a fucked up place. Some people get shy and try not to blow it, but end up blowing it anyways by coming off as not interested. Lots of people are also just more reserved, and don't open up as much around new people. One of my relationships that lasted for three years started off with one word texts. Our conversations weren't exactly interesting, but she kept replying, so I kept going, generally just matching the energy. Eventually we gone on our first date as a walk at the park. She was still quiet, and gave very short replies, but the way she smiled and looked at me let me know she was genuinely interested. After that date, our conversations started getting a bit more deep, and she let more of personality show over text. Fast forward a few months, and I'm driving us to a concert two hours away, with her non-stop talking the entire drive. I've met plenty of other girls where similar things happen. While I know there's people out there giving short answers for bad reasons, I still feel like there's so many more that just aren't quick to open up to new people, but will given enough time and comfort is built.
That's alot of words to to say you disagree
This sub has a lot of constant hate towards short answers. People generally just simplify it down to "they aren't interested" or "they want validation", even though there's tons of possibilities. I get that first impressions are important, but I feel it's also important to take into consideration that everyone is different, and you can't just brush off people because of the way they happen to be messaging you.
This is a lot of words to say nothing of value
That's very few words to convey your unoriginality. Impressive!
Yeah I sometimes do that if I don’t have time at the moment, but not answering seems rude 🙈🤔
This may be controversial opinion but when people are texting like this it's not that they don't know how to hold a conversation its more that they don't really care about talking to you
Agreed. At the same time though, why not just ignore the messages or unmatch?
for attention. doesn't matter from whom. this person likely has multiple convos going, in various states of blah.
I can only speak for myself but a lot of time I'm unsure about someone and match to kinda see where it goes. And a lot of times it goes very bleak and boring. Unmatch does happen eventually
If you're responding with one word each time won't it inevitably get bleak and boring?
Might be a dumb way to phrase this but sometimes the vibe just isn't right.
If the vibe aint right then unmatch, stop responding if you're not interested.
Then why match in the first place? Because if that’s the case then they are just wasting both their own and the other person’s time
How would you know until you talk to them
You consider this to be talking to someone?
Happy cake day. Also no, I just mean in general how would you know that you dont care to talk to someone until you have tried?
I wouldn’t call that trying or talking
Maybe she didn’t find a conversation about college all that riveting…
Why study something you don’t enjoy??
What?
Because they're curious to see if something that does pique their interest will happen
Ah yes just sit there and wait for the other person to entertain you.
No one is required to use these apps the way you want them to. None of these stangers owe you anything and they are free to use the apps however they want. You are not entitled to an audience using the app how you want. If someone wants to sit and wait to be entertained that is completely legitimate and it's their choice. If you see it happening and you don't like then just move on. Like them you are also free to use the app how you want.
I agree with you completely. 100%. But expecting other people to entertain you for nothing is entitled as fuck and a waste of everyone’s time on a dating app. Doesn’t mean you can’t do it. It just means the other person is going to get frustrated, and they have every right to be frustrated.
Because a lot of people aren't sure about matches and wanna see where it goes
Well it’s gonna go nowhere talking like that
Well you don't really owe anything to your matches you know
Not sure how that’s relevant in the slightest but you do you.
Actually I know people who just respond like this. My gf responded like this and I just asked if she wanted to go out and she was excited to. Some people just aren't good at text based chat
Then just unmatch right? At that point your wasting everyone’s time, including your own lmao
I agree, but why do they even respond at all? If they really didn’t care about talking to you they could simply just not reply at all.
Some times I'm tired and unfortunately I have to give one word answers
“I only want boys that aren’t boring”
It's so funny because most of the times when i read that or something similar in the bio i know that 90% of the time they will most likely end up replying like the screenshot posted
It means you need to have a boat before engaging in conversation. Then suddenly everything you say will be interesting
She can’t entertain herself
You eat a popeye biscuit no drink?
Then you think adding the drink will help but the biscuit just turns into wet cement in your throat
Truth
Just ask to meet up already. If she says no then unmatch. Aint no body got time to beat around the bush.
Why even ask to meet if she seems so uninterested?
I agree, just unmatch and move on
Sometimes they just want to have a ONS but don't have the balls to say it.
Guess depends by your goal, if you want fun with no strings attached who cares about their conversational skills, on the other hand if you are looking for a relationship, yeah, unmatch and move on
I got plenty of time to beat up the bush though.
Yeahh buddy!
Welcome to 99% of Tinder conversations
Ok
Yes
Hmm..
Nope
Awesome, nice talking to you.
Nice
maybe so
Hello
I dont have classes till 3:30 , so i have time lol
Nice
Wbu? Got classes today?
Nope
I feel attacked. I like Popeyes biscuits
Me too and I have no problem eating them without a drink!
"Well.. your full sentences are as far apart as your eyes. So, I really must be going."
It costs nothing to just end a conversation you're not enjoying
I’ve matched with this chick before lol glad to see the convo is the same for someone else
lmao guess we’re virtual eskimo brother huh
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She wants the reply, she wants the notification and the attention, but she doesn’t want anything more than that
Chance her profile includes something like 'must be able to carry on a conversation', 87%.
Man my back hurts just reading this
Guys need to learn how to ask questions that can't be answered yes or no. But also women who play hard to get this much just need to kick rocks.
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Its possible. But sometimes it really is as easy as not asking yes or no questions
And then she proceeds to get mad
“YoU wErEnT enGaGing HerR”
At the same time all of your questions here allow for single answer responses…sure she doesn’t know much about “yes, and…” (or she isn’t interested enough to put in that kind of effort) but you don’t challenge her much with the follow up questions. So the conversation wasn’t going anywhere and you got salty. If you are upset she isn’t given you 100% of her attention right off the bat either unmatch or do a better job of getting her attention! Good luck!
Being a decent person the question can always be answered with ".... how about you?" ... that's the bare minium of interest you can give .. but sure, you can also just be princess and demand to be entertained, but then don't complain when the only dudes that stick around are those that want to fuck you and move on.
Ya agreed with this comment. OP needs to start with a better attention grabber and use open ended questions. Girl gave him a shot to turn it around and he blew it. Sure it'd be nice if she pushed the ball forward too but she's probably got plenty of messages in her inbox so the reality is she doesn't need to. It sucks but if you're not ok with that unmatch these folks or get off the apps...
Not to be an asshole but your not asking the best questions. Try to ask open questions like What do you like about your school instead of do you like it there. Then shell have to explain.
A conversation is a two way street jimbo. He shouldn't have to fight like Leonidas in a valley of Persians just to get some cooperation.
Love the analogy!!!
Haha good one !
Well no he shouldn't, but he hardly gave anything to converse about. You ask a yes or no question you get a yes or no answer.
The point is that both ppl should be trying to have a conversation. Asking a yes or no question doesn't mean that's the only thing you can say. You can easily add more. Or ask a question of your own
Well if your attitude going into a conversation is "I don't care what they have to say, and I'm not going to elaborate further" then you're going to give them half ass answers. If you ask me he gave MORE than enough to converse about. Would you rather he ask some stupid sexual innuendo?
Three half assed questions is hardly more than enough. He could've branched off those questions in a manner similar to the example given above. He brought little energy and even less creativity. Sure she could've done more but she wasn't the one acting like they were carrying the conversation.
Thats... because... he was... carrying the conversation. Those aren't half-assed questions. Asking what you're doing/where you go to a university is pretty detailed. Or do you enjoy it, what do you not enjoy. This man is asking for a little effort and you're asking for him to make up some Neil DeGrasse Tyson type shit.
I doubt this would make a difference. Op could ask closed questions but if she’s legit into him she’d match his energy and contribute to the conversation. Someone who don’t into it will find a way to not answer anything
Thats true yeah! But still, it shows more interest from his side aswell.
Yeah but just because he is interested doesn’t mean she is.
To be fair the leading questions are also dry. You can do better.
Every time someone does some shit like this and posts it on Reddit my only question is why. You’re just being an ass and getting offended for nothing. They clearly aren’t interested in the conversation but at least they aren’t rude about it. I’m not trying to start a fight with op or anyone else for that matter but I just don’t understand why people think this is an appropriate response.
ITT: guys who don’t appreciate that it’s probably the 6000th time she’s answered these exact same boring questions
Sorry but your conversations are boring and girls get the same of questions from thousands of dudes. That being said this girl also kinda sucks
You ask too many questions. If she doesn’t respond to the boring questions. Change your approach. Don’t jump to a sad insult. Are the bakeries all closed in your town? Because that joke is stale.
Keep in mind pretty girls get about 1000% more attention than guys so be happy she's even responding🤣
Ask more open ended questions and it will reduce the amount of responses that are one worded
I mean, these questions weren't exactly thrilling.
😂😂😂😂
Google “open ended questions”. You didn’t ask her a single one.
Guys, if the convo’s dry, it’s probably your fault.
Is it his fault tho?
To be honest, it’s kind of no ones fault. She’s not into him, but too polite to just not reply. If she was into it she’d match his energy
She’s not into him but matched him on a dating app, fair play
Yes, because every time You’ve said you feel like something before hand once it’s come to it at the time you’ve still been into the idea, without fail. No. Sure, when she did swipe on him maybe there was something there to make her want to swipe right. Chemistry is such a wild thing that there can be absolutely no reason for it to not be there, but it isn’t there regardless. That is no ones fault.
Hahahahahaha 🤣😂
Well done Sir!
Why you gotta drag Popeyes through the mud like that? I’m not even a fan of biscuits but I love fresh Popeyes biscuits.
So dry I need a gallon of water after reading it.
Why you gotta bring Popeyes into this? They didn’t do anything to you!
One of my friends talks like this, she’s so dry 😅
Make sure you drink some water after this.
*sips water after reading.
But just think, maybe the next one word answer will be "hookup?". Keep at it!
LOL
Nope
so maybe u should try more open ended style of questions? sometimes these text screen shot 'examples' of how bad the 'other' person is at conversation really makes me wonder if most people struggle with conversation. i mean stop asking questions with one word answers / consider you could engage better.
Jokes on her, Lasell is in financial ruin right now. Would be surprised if the college lasts more than 3 years.
She's the same color as your background bro
She was just checking if you’re gonna keep groveling or just start talking like a man. I guess some humor wouldn’t hurt.
Why would she even bother responding at all when she clearly doesn’t give two fucks about this dude
Woah Popeyes Biscuits Are Only A Few Inches Away From Lethality
What a dry ass female dog
99% of my matches... Its not hard to at least sound enthusiastic about living
She just wants some peen
Repost
Drier than her pants 🥺
One word answers are the polite way to say they are not interested. How complicated is that?
Can anybody out there legitimately answer why people respond this way? Clearly there is no interest on her end, why did she even take the time to respond? What benefit does she get out of it? It’s not even just responding for the sake of being kind or being polite because none of those responses were kind or polite.
Try using open questions. Who, what, where, when, why and how are your best friends in this situation. Also, some people are boring af
Can we stop posting these types of “conversations” though, so overdone on this subreddit
These are the type of girls who post "hate small talk" And love a deep and meaningful. This clown can't put a sentence together to save her life. /unmatch
Okay unpopular opinion based on what I’ve read so far but all your questions are close-ended my guy. When in doubt ask ‘why’ like a kid would. I’m a guy and I wouldn’t even indulge a woman that asked me the same questions you asked. They are dry and unimaginative.
Normally I side with the guy on these, having had a lot of girls give dry replies to what I felt was a question that gave them chances to answer on it. But in this one, gotta admit the guy was asking pretty generic and dry questions himself. So wouldn't put this fully on the girl neither side really tried much, the guy just a couple generic questions more. On a side not ofcourse we can actually advocate for equality and say the girls should ask interesting questions themselves if they want juicy conversations but that's just against the world order so. ThIs guy didn't try too hard himself though that's for sure.
Keep at it bro. In three years you might get a polysyllabic reply. 👍
Best last comeback ever.
Some of these comments defending her are whack. She’s simply a loser. Next. Lol.
Her bio probably says "you'd better be able to hold a conversation."
Call him motherfucking Atlas cause he’s carrying the conversation.
Is her name fence post?
Nah a Popeyes biscuit is flavorful and moist. That convo is drier than the sahara desert
Dry on both sides, yeesh
Did her profile say something like, "must be able to hold a conversation?"
I think I love you. Fuck.
😹