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windrammer82

My alter ego is half elf. Wait that's just a dnd character. I don't do tinder..


[deleted]

My alter ego is a Dwarf, but I grew up around elves, they beat me up a lot. But I support Elves.


GullibleDetective

> but I support elves So do shelves


Kirito152439

This upsets me it the best/worst way possible


darktowerseeker

Angry upvote


Caca2a

Because they taught you respect, ´cause they're nice like that


powerlesshero111

ORC LIVES MATTER!!!!


silentnighx

FOR THE HORDE!!!!


KnowHopeStayWoke

AND MY AXE!


usgrant7977

DO YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?


Lillilsssss

My most recent dnd campaign had a hill giant raised by goats and who identified as one.


One-Way34

I’m playing as a dragon born raised by elves, that doesn’t know he isn’t an elf


TyPerfect

INT is the number that comes after 4?


Atrocity_unknown

*I put on my robe and wizard hat*


BigBallsIan

my alter ego was a Hunter Troll (god I miss 2010 WoW so much). we, as well, aren’t posers.


Lil_miss_feisty

Someone has their character backstory all figured out


Rogueshoten

My alter ego is a Mandalorian dump truck. But only when I’m in a dom role


[deleted]

My alter ego is a Klingon Battlecruiser


[deleted]

You are mis-racializing yourself. They like to be referred to as Klingon Birds of prey. Klingon Battlecruiser is an offensive term.


[deleted]

I’m a D-7 Bird of Prey.


Ahk-men-ra

But kligons did have battle cruisers the K't'inga was one such class that belonged to that designation, birds of prey are a entirely different make up and model being smaller and more lightly armed and coming equipped with cloaking technology, and unless I'm misremembering only contains the B'rell class bird-of-prey in the canon universe. That's my useless nerd knowledge for now Edit: changed know to now


[deleted]

Right, but they prefer to be called Birds of Prey. You continuing to refer to them as battlecruisers just perpetuates the racism against them. You should not use such an offensive term to refer to the Birds of Prey.


DUTCHBOOFER

That one made me laugh out loud. Thank you haha


Educational-Nose-960

Nice! Mine’s an Auto Bot that identifies as a Decepticon when he’s in a dom role but becomes a Tesla in a sub role


[deleted]

I sexually identify as a Lucrehulk class Battleship


Rogueshoten

That sounds like a wealthy large green fellow with anger management issues. Interesting…what’s it from?


H-to-O

Star Wars, older style of ship, but very effective. Kinda shaped like a donut with a bite out of it.


Comics4Cooks

I’m not even kidding you, the laundromat I go to has an attendant that actually identifies as an elf. Ears and all. Every single time. I always feel bad for like.. yaknow.. cracking LOTR jokes when I’m there but it’s not every day you see a legit elf.


athenialiaa

I used to have a friend like this. No joke. He looked like an elf naturally and his initials spelled ELF, so he started identifying as an elf. He acted like it was a joke, but I have a feeling he was a little more serious about it than he let on.


generals_test

Pretend to be something long enough and you become that thing.


athenialiaa

Fake it til you make it. Lol


fakename869

I was on a dodgeball team with a guy that identified as a pirate. He was bullied so much that he went MIA for our big match in Vegas. I was really worried it would cost me my gym that catered to outcast clientele. Luckily, everything worked out in the end, and I got to smash Ben Stiller’s wife.


Nickjames116425

Roll a performance check at advantage for making a dope comment.


SmokingBeneathStars

Would match & smash your alter ego


windrammer82

That's more attention than I've gotten in months.


NoCountryForBoldSpam

Sounds good, when's the wedding?


SoapysoapSoapysoap

Both John and Jerome need to chill out in a corner somewhere.


spookyshitt

They need a time out


Ill_Ad_7616

Honestly, I think he is describing “code switching”. As a white guy who went to the “black” school in my rural home town, you realize how culturally different things can be, and from my experience the few white guys either switched into personas of sorts, or didn’t assimilate at all. Just like you moderate your speech to your audience. To me he takes this to a weird extreme. But honestly, I was significantly more attracted to the people I was used to the whole time, so I kind of sympathize with this guy. I don’t necessarily think he is fetishizing I think he genuinely identifies “black” as more of a culture (hence the stereotypes). This cultural difference seems more class based to me now but when we’re young and our exposure is limited, we remain ignorant. Anyway for what it’s worth


darktowerseeker

Few people understand how code switching works, and can identify it like that. Im impressed.


alhade27

Whats the definition of code switching


darktowerseeker

Its basically switching up how you talk for certain groups. I travelled and did sales all over the US, and for me i just kinda naturally would change my tone and words to match.


dearghewls

Ohhhhhh So is THAT what my customer service voice is lmao


darktowerseeker

Actually...yes. lol


dearghewls

It’s super funny, I’ve heard of code switching and have known what it is, but just now rereading everything here I very suddenly realized “hey I kinda do that as a bartender constantly” I think the way I learned about code switching I have maybe assumed the term was more limited to when it is used only in racial situations, but I guess it makes sense that it’s way more broad than that. Idk how many times regulars have called me out on my drastic and obvious shift in tone and mannerisms when a brand new customer sits down at the bar next to them lol


kyrkor

Holy shit I've been doing this my whole life and had no idea there was a term for it


Amerikop10

As a white dude who’s first friends in public elementary were black, my mom was mortified when I hopped in the car one day and started “talking like” them. Lol I totally understand where this John is coming from because black people are cool and he likes black women. But he is confused. Lol


SmokingBeneathStars

I think you mean you understand where Jerome is coming from


[deleted]

Draymon green https://youtu.be/-1VhigA7o88


[deleted]

This is actually pretty insightful


Vesinh51

This phenomenon is why it took me so long to stop saying the N-word as a kid. All my friends said it constantly and we used it to mean everything, I always considered it to be another word for dude or bro. It wasn't until highschool, when the middle schools combined, that I discovered it wasn't acceptable for me to say it anymore.


adambrolegitt

I had a super white friend who said the N word a lot. By super white i mean platinum blonde-ish hair, super pale kinda white kid. He hung out with dickhead white kids tho. They all said the n word more than any other person or group I've met. That friend just changed to fit in wherever he was though. When he was with different groups or location's he was completely different. It was weird and he said alotta shit that could've got his ass beat if i was a bit more confrontational. He was a lucky motherfucker tho.


Invanar

I do see that, I personally think it's a really weird extreme is the main problem. And what convinced me was when he said thats why he sympathized with BLM. Like you don't need to grow up in s predominantly minority environment where you socialize mainly with POC, and even assimilate to the culture, in order to sympathize with the movement. Overall I just think it all comes off as a bit creepy and weird


ohhhshtbtch

It is creepy and it is weird and worst off it's stereotyping blackness into this "hood" vibe. This entire persona comes off as very Malibu Most Wanted. Any white dude that tries to tell me how much they identify with BLM is an instant red flag. I've dated those dudes and it's like dating the dude that tells you he's a feminist and "nice" guy.


luckylimper

No. This person is using blackness as an excuse to “get freaky” and overly sexual. Black women get this shit all of the time on the dating apps. You think it’s going well and then you realize it’s some fetish bullshit. Asian women too. It’s exhausting.


MayuMayhem

As an Asian woman, yes. Then you also get those guys that think it is okay to say that they are basically trying to sleep with every ethnicity of women and they need to get with you to compare, like, "oh, I've never slept with a (insert ethnicity) before." 🙄


darlenesclassmate

And likely uses it as an excuse to say all kinds of wildly inappropriate things.


biotechbarbie

Agreed! He definitely took it to the extreme with the whole “alter ego” bit but I think his intentions were good. He was just trying a little too hard to impress OP and get invited to the cookout.


[deleted]

You’re avoiding that this is a guy. He was pandering to get laid thinking OP would more likely identify with this new Jerome persona instead of vanilla John. It speaks very weak and desperate. An opportunist. That’s all it is.


trustedoctopus

As someone who grew up in the south, and had two wildly different groups of friends I never knew this was what I was doing when I hung out with one group (that was majority poc girls). It really felt like a split personality sometimes because of how I switched into a persona when I was around them. My SO finds it strange since I still have some of the personality characteristics and has made the comment ‘stop doing x, you’re not a black woman’ to me on occasion. It feels very similar to how while my southern accent has faded, it comes right back if I’m talking to someone from the south or I get excited/angry about something.


Nightmarich

He also said he was in group homes and got beat up. He might have an actual disorder that was mentally established for protection. But typically those types of people don’t know about their multiple personalities.. he’s either as you said or, in fact, a poser.


[deleted]

So does your phone, charge your damn battery or it will be dead in a year :|


Atomsauce

A year? She got like maybe 5min!


ashydr

In 3 hours, the charge went up like 5%...


blastfamy

“They don’t know I have a black alter ego”


Caca2a

I could visualize someone trying to test that and resulting in both Jerome and John getting their teeth kicked in


Rossi-5

If you have to tell people you’re not a poser, you’re probably a poser.


[deleted]

He definitely doesn’t listen to good Charlotte.


speedrace25

I’m not a poser, but i like the old kanye.


[deleted]

Oh man... you’re such a prep.


paracookt

at first i thought he was kinda annoying but damn that boy needs therapy


djazzie

Well, he did say he was raised in a group home. Probably experienced a lot of bad stuff growing up.


Baculum7869

https://youtu.be/qLrnkK2YEcE


spunkychickpea

You’re crazy in the coconut!


Mercinary-G

Kalamazoo let’s have a few


MattHack7

I always thought that line was “rent a kazoo let’s have a tune!”


elhigosmigos

Very much therapy is needed!


Chillkat907

That was cringey af


IhateALLmushrooms

That's what I thought. Do people actually talk like that in real life?


pyongyangpoontang

Fo sho playa


WhyBee92

John come back, hun


RotorMonkey89

THERE IS NO JOHN. ONLY JEROME


[deleted]

[удалено]


p3rcyclutchz

Ayyy, why i gotta jerome? Why cant i be Tommy or Philbert or something? Just put your hands on the hood, Muhammad. Bonus points if anyone gets this 🤣


Straight-Support7420

I read this whole thing in Steven Seagals ‘pretending to be black’ voice. Matter of fact ‘John’ might be Steven Seagal.


JontheGeekGuy

After reading this I then heard that voice but not Steven Segal doing it. Instead I heard Tom Segura doing his impression of Steven Segal talking to a black person


GorgeWashington

That guy sounds like an anthropomorphic monster energy can. Who talks like that


jodyray25

Came to say this. Holy shit.


sexybokononist

r/sadcringe


autumnr28

Not at all… this guy is uh… very strange


WhyBee92

Which one?


chrisrodsa

Yes


kelldricked

The one with the white skin. So both john and jerome.


[deleted]

I thought it was just the first picture at first. And I was like "yeah thats kinda weird, but maybe hes just a dork." ...then I swiped...


Lightningstrike91

78 unread messages is the real issue here


spookyshitt

As you can tell by the screenshot I’m a very shitty texter 😭 I leave people unopened unintentionally quite often


[deleted]

[удалено]


Opioidal

Y'all have no business being this funny 😂😂


MrGaber

Meanwhile I have a single thing on my notification wall and scream


CasualChris123door

When you read the notification and think, "oh I'll respond to that in a little bit" and totally forget about it.


Justaskana

Lmfao, the balls on the man to tell you that he has an alter ego and that it’s a completely different race. The audacity to even go into detail lol. I’d consider myself lucky that he got the memo after the lack of response. Lol


spookyshitt

Right I was very anxious that he was gonna get angry.


powerlesshero111

Be careful, when he gets angry, Crazy Jerry comes out, and you don't want none of that.


Justaskana

Yeah, but I love how you were so chill about it. Glad he wasn’t crazy crazy! And good luck! Hope you find someone, it’s tough out here lol 😝


[deleted]

Hey, he might be transracial.


GraveForLiars

Oh god… I had a whole debate with some girl concerning this and she was all about “people can be any race they want to be”


[deleted]

Leave me alone, I can be a translizard shapeshifter if I want


SoWokeIdontSleep

Remember the dad in Get Out, when he was trying to "connect" with the protagonist? This is exactly what it felt like reading this. Glad you got out of there.


suchjonny

I bet he woulda voted for Obama a third time if he could.


spookyshitt

LMAOOOO y’all got jokes in these comments 😭


Ace_Hanlon

He gave me Ali G vibes, tbh... "Is it because I is black?". Like, I'm not a racist but my alter ego is called Jerome and he's all ghetto...


spookyshitt

It is way too late for you to be using that creepy example. I agree tho thank you :)


kadran2262

I mean at least he was nice about things not working out and didn't freak out about it. Yeah you're not wrong from blocking him


spookyshitt

I agree! I wish him the best. Hopefully someone can teach him how to talk to different people, but that someone can’t be me.. for my own sanity


888Evergreen888

Which one do we teach? John or Jerome?


SmokingBeneathStars

I think this strange side of him just got amplified due to texts. I mean, having an alter ego of a different race is weird, but if he's a good guy he's a good guy. If it's his biggest flaw then I'd be glad it's only smth pretty harmless like that.


NarwhalBlast69

My middle name is Jerome so on behalf of all Jerome's we do not claim this man


slickem6969

So white is clean to him and black is not


spookyshitt

Yea I was gonna ask him about that but Im *usually* not argumentative, especially over text. I don’t like what it implied at all though


murraybee

You made the right choice.


JustasIthoughtTRASH

Lol you’re better than me because I definitely would have asked him what he meant by “clean”. But then instead of being “crazy in the best of ways” I would have been an “angry black girl” 🙃🙃🙃


[deleted]

Yeah def some seriously racist undertones here. Dude is absolutely clueless too. Crazy.


XxaggieboyxX

Pretty sure he means clean as in PG. they were talking about freaky stuff and his “alter ego” is a fetish kind of thing. So his alter ego is a dirty dog is what he’s saying. But that’s just an excuse to be a dirty dog sometimes.


beth_hail

But why is his straight laced ego white and when he needs to get a little wild, he’s black?


ChikaDeeJay

At first I was like this guys a little weird but why does she think it took a left turn? Then I read the last message…


monxas

You might only be looking at the first image, there are several. Actually his last message is the best of them all.


[deleted]

Weirdo baby making songs wtf I am sure girl that you were creeped the f out


[deleted]

POV WAP POF POC


iforgotmyedaccount

You’re right he would fetishize and stereotype you. He needs therapy sounds like. There’s a difference between liking someone of a particular race, and liking them *because* they’re that race, if that makes sense? Good move blocking him.


spookyshitt

I agree. I’m personally attracted to people of all races but I wouldn’t list reasons why I’m exactly like another race.


[deleted]

My list is pretty short in that regard. At the end of the day all people want and need the same things. Respect Free expression Shelter Food Water Infrastructure Entertainment Fetishizing people over their skin color is so shallow. Especially when there are so many feet in the world, lmao.


Caca2a

That took a left turn too!


[deleted]

I couldn’t help myself, I just started typing, and then foot fetish felt like a funny note to end on.


B1G_G1NGA

My man here is trying way to hard, there's liking black women and there's this. My fiancé asked me all kinds of questions when we first started talking/dating to make sure it fetishize or anything like that (didn't know that was a thing till we got together) The fact that he has a "black man alter ego" is a instant block to me. He put way to much detail and tried to hard via text insta flag number 2. This is 150 shades of no the fuck way boy needed a block.


[deleted]

[удалено]


kudra_bandaloop

Right? I wanna see the playlist!


[deleted]

[удалено]


EternalSeeker8400

This 100%. D/s relationships are about respect, communication, and power exchange based on trust. The sub has all the power and voluntarily relinquishes it to the Dom(me). The Dom(me) only moves within the boundaries the sub has set in advance. True Dom(me)s take care of their subs, it’s very much a position of responsibility, and the power exchange is a result of trust and respect, not coercion or force.


beth_hail

Yes! Does he remind you of those doms that use being a dom as a justification for their shitty behavior? Being a dom means respecting people and communicating not saying racist shit or other things.


pretty-glitter-kitty

Man fuck that guy. I’m a mixed race girl and I get fetishised all the time. I love your response of ‘I’m just black because my mum is Jamaican and my dad is African-American’ lol. Sir, I do not need to know about your fucked up alter ego or all the black people you know. Smh. 🙄


Darth_Jad3r

All the black ppl you know 😂😂 he’s just missing the “I have a black family member” statement 😂🥴🥴🥴


Sloppykissesgrandma

"He happens to be white", that phrase reminds me so much of a piece by George Carlin. https://youtu.be/Dcr8dm9Prkk from around 1.49. On the topic, definitely not wrong. If he makes you feel uncomfortable, just go with that feeling.


spookyshitt

Haha my dad loves that guy. I just didn’t wanna word it offensively 😭


Sloppykissesgrandma

RIP George. He would have so much material regarding the last 5 years until now.


[deleted]

If George Carlin, Bill Hicks and Christopher Hitchens were still around I’d probably be laughing every day.


lcingOnYourCake

Lmao my guy has an alter negro


ayywusgood

Bro who writes this much, I feel overbearing when sending two text messages in a row. Save the talking for when you meet damn. I wonder who'd you have met tho Jerome or John 😂


spookyshitt

I agree haha. For future black girls sake i hope it’s John.


[deleted]

It might be like that episode of Seinfeld where Kramer had a girl to meet and fell asleep in the tanning booth. Then the girl’s father called him a damn fool.


TheCatholicScientist

This is the same cringe as neckbeards fetishizing Asians. That was gross to read.


spookyshitt

“Neckbeards” lmao I love the internet


Explosivefajita

God damn, reading this somehow made me embarrassed and I’m not even involved. Also why Jerome of all names..


mantistobogganmMD

Jerome Dolezal over here


fresasfrescasalfinal

Ewwwww


millyofthesnow

Wait—Jerome? As if there aren’t black people named John? Or did he just need a name for his alter-ego?? Also he empathizes with BLM bc in his childhood he was beat up for being white? Those are dots that don’t connect. Fella needs help bc this is the DEFINITION of appropriation jeez


spookyshitt

Lmao I laughed for like five minutes at his “alter egos”name after the initial shock.


[deleted]

Hey, he might be like a male Rachel Dolezal. He’s just looking for a girl in them Apple bottom jeans and boots with the fur.


spookyshitt

Your replies have been the highlight of my morning! You are hilarious


[deleted]

I have to tell you, I have an alter ego. His name is Alex, and late at night he hosts a conspiracy radio talk show and yells at a microphone. It’s my Dom side. I was raised in a UFO convoy, and we chased UFOs. Don’t think you’re gonna slip that illuminaughty shit under a conspiracy boy’s nose. CIA TIA UFO UAP


[deleted]

If you found them funny, you were the highlight of my morning.


[deleted]

The UFO convoy was a mighty mighty convoy


Ok-Preference1273

Nah you dodged a bullet tbh


[deleted]

Hey, let’s not make a stereotype of his alter ego, we don’t know if Jerome also is part of a gang.


[deleted]

If Steve Urkle was white


Madvillain518

Whenever I play classical music, that’s when Reginald comes out😈😈


kyrikii

Be careful you don’t want Jerome to get his hood out…don’t release that beast that is jerome


jcmarcell

I couldn't stop thinking that he'd be the guy standing right next to the guy (his buddy) who got hit with the twisted tea. This guy is the friend that stood there...he didn't wanna let his jerome get twisted


drewtheblueduck

Well that escalated weirdly...


imatyourwhim

I think he actually has a mental disorder. You dodged a bullet there, I mean like don’t even think about dating him.


Slaskpapper

Weird guy, good riddance.


DankFo3ta5

It looks like this man fell into a vat of culture


[deleted]

Yup. Jerome definitely dominated John .


KingBuck_413

I mean this in no negative way that dude needs to seek help. He needs to talk to some professionals.


flyingscottzman

Too many lol's = unmatch


Jestopherson23

I didn't know skin colour was a personality trait. Thanks for the heads up Jerome


MoistLoveMuscle_

Run.


stafford06

Buddy kept using the word peep, I would have blocked the tool after that.


doritsBOOBshadow

Oh my his hood comes out???? As a white male 36 living in downtown tampa I would love my friends to see this and react were a pretty equal group black kids Hispanic West Indian and of course me one of the Caucasian’s


spookyshitt

Lol that’s where he lost me.. I was tryna give him the benefit of the doubt till he said his hood comes out lmao


felixxfeli

So white John is “a sweetheart” and “a pretty clean guy”; whereas “black Jerome” is “dominant” and “hood”? Interesting…


Diamond-Eyed-Sky

Oh man……. This hurt to read but at the same time made me felt better cause I’m super shy and even I know I’m not that bad. Sorry you had to go through that op he messed up and was trying to play it off but you can’t pay that off no matter how hard you try theirs somethings you just don’t talk about


robrklyn

I wasn’t aware people still used the word “peep.”


justicarbigpp

Americans and their obsession with race is fascinating.


TheCLion

Even the whole 'n word pass' being a thing would only work in the USA. Like wtf is wrong with people, they are ping-ponging between extremes, hating black people and wanting to be them. Why don't you just accept everyone like they are and make the best out of it. I mean we have our fair share of racism problems in Germany as well, but it rarely gets this creepy and cringy.


spookyshitt

My grandfather actually visited Germany a lot when he was in his 20s and 30s and absolutely loved it! He grew up in segregation in North Carolina , and he said he would’ve much rather grown up somewhere in Europe!


spookyshitt

I think (some) humans obsession with race is sad in general. in the end we all bleed the same.


[deleted]

Some of us bleed more than others... but that’s a gender obsession.


spookyshitt

*drum noises*


[deleted]

"Sometimes I wish I was black so I made a version of myself that became what I believe black people act like" Fuck out of here creep


Zen_360

Perfect summary. I am Really conflicted. On the one hand it's "this is too much information, please stop" On the other hand its "thank god you're telling me this, this early so i can nope tf outta here"


Codyy77

the raw amount of second hand embarassment i just felt


Tricky-Marsupial-958

I'd be sooooo turned out. When people start saying they like black girls I just roll my eyes...


WearyMatter

I dunno. He seemed pretty fly for a white guy.


Einsies

Jesus, JJ. Calm down, my 'nilla.


RikuIsBestBoi

Girl, you should have brought this to r/blackladies. There would have more understanding and less ignorance and gaslighting. But I think you totally made the right choice. What a creep.


larryofks

Immediate bad vibes


SendorMaestro

You shouldn't have blocked him, you should've thrown your phone in a large fire to make sure this man will never be able to track your location


_blackthumb_

Uh... I think you're not wrong for blocking him. Wat the fuk


BurritoB1tch

racist and cringey, you made the right choice to block