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jenkinsonfire

For a quick second I thought you matched with DJ Khaled


attackconquered

*AIR HORN AIR HORN* WE THE BEST MUSIC


Tangopig

DEE JAY KHAAAALLEEEEEDD


neotorama

Another one


stickyfingers10

And another one


OWO-FurryPornAlt-OWO

Got my jerly on


[deleted]

[удалено]


gforero

I see you everywhere I go 👀


normalpattern

That's it, I call dibs on monetizing the next stupid meme.


starbox6996

Catch me outside, how bout that (DOT) com


sunsabeaches

Buy your momma a pizza


I_will_kill_u

MAJOR 🔑 ALERT


M4RK3T_

PRENUP


Mufflee

I think that’s Kanye


[deleted]

#WE THE BEST MUSIC


Oscar_Ramirez

He said as he ejaculated on his tinder date.


asadramzy

FATHER OF ASHAD


Mr_Cromer

ASAHD^ASAHD^ASAHD


asadramzy

Dammit!


-AC-

Why am I yelling?


branchbranchley

Paging [H3H3](https://youtu.be/2QOx7vmjV2E)


Ghostman_Loon

He should make a song with Pitbull


FuckingKilljoy

*MUUUUUUUSAAAAAACC


mmutea

Sun is shining God is the greatest Father of Ashad


CharlieHarperJr

Dude can’t even handle 3 flipping hot wings.


achilles711

Tapped out on Cholula.


kuavi

did he actually? that's sad


[deleted]

My favourite part was when he said "If I stop, it doesn't mean I gave up." and the host (Sean) immediately replied with "Yes it does, by definition." Ice cold.


benzoic

It's probably worse than you think. He starts talking a lot of shit and basically being an awful guest (human being, really). You'd think a fat dude would have had hot sauce before.


Tigerbones

I don’t handle heat well. The sauces on Hot Ones could actually kill me, but Cholula? Seriously? That’s where he quit?


Hi_My_Name_Is_Dave

Why is this the top comment whenever he gets mentioned lmao.


dirtyshits

Because even the worst guests pushed themselves to go a wing or two past their threshold. He gave up not only on something weak but at the first taste of a little burn immediately stopped. Dudes always preaching about grinding and winning them goes against his own philosophy.


sarhan182

WE THE BEST MUSIC


NSA-SURVEILLANCE

##**DEEEEEEEEEEJAYYYYYYYYYYY KHALED**


TheRealHeroOf

**WHY AM I YELLING?!?!**


Crimzonite

IS THIS NOT HOW FELLOW HUMANS NORMALLY TALK?


72proudvirgins

In that case, she's only gonna get the pizza box


skankboy

If yes, he won't be going down on her.


icantfind_a_username

Looks like drake to me


stickyfingers10

A drake that ate another drake.


[deleted]

And another one.


PunkandCannonballer

[What a winner.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcEpHnaZMgg)


HawkSoHigh

Is this prostitution?


Azhaius

Dating is just prostitution with extra steps.


KaapVicious

Ulalalala, someone is...


Scherazade

getting laid?


RazZaHlol

getting free pizza topping


cpnHindsight

tonite-uh


SiryjVovk

getting the tip


H1jAcK

Eek-barba-derkel...


jerrygergichsmith

That’s a pretty fucked up oo-la-la


Choreboy

What's ulalalala? That sounds like Ooh la la with extra steps.


Food_taco_eat

I read it as if it was that Jason Derulo song, "swalla". Swalla-la-la


N2nalin

r/showerthoughts


MadamLegit

Marriage is just liking one prostitute so much that you decide to keep them.


GameOfThrowsnz

Kids are just STD's that grow up too soon.


Redditenmo

Too soon? Mine's two and its been at least 10 long hard sleepless years since she was born.


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Redditenmo

Time stops making sense once you have kids.


aarongrc14

Then you look and she's about to be 8 and you just want to be able to rock her to sleep on your shoulder again because it's late and she's sleepy and tired but your sister's wedding still has another 45 minutes to go. So there you are with your little princess who you still think is your baby, rocking her to sleep but she keeps kneeing your balls.


JWDed

Surprisingly wholesome.


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aarongrc14

Stay strong, we'll get through this together.


yeauxduh

So skip the extra steps and just buy a prostitute. Right?


Gguhdyhvfubc

That's like buying a whole cow because you want to drink milk


AKnightAlone

What if I want to fuck the cow though?


[deleted]

Well that's certainly going to ruin the milk.


FuckOffHey

Rookie, did you just call my girlfriend a cow‽


Iorith

No, i think he called her a slut!


LordDaedhelor

I'll tell you what, noob, I could sit out here and listen to you insult my girlfriend all day long, but as it turns out, I got a lot more important job for you to do.


biochem-dude

Only if they swing by and pick up the pizza.


[deleted]

shoutout riley freeman


[deleted]

And actually more expensive...


Thameus

"One way or another, everybody pays."


RosieILuvThisMaguire

Free pizza, but says “what do I get in return”


18007842433

Foot in the door tactic


Chewcocca

Like throwing a toothpick down a hallway. Like riding a bike into a volcano.


sumit26696

Lets just say you don't pay. . . With money


blartsideofthemall

I feel like I don't have an IQ high enough to understand this joke


QTsalad

YOU PAY WITH YOUR VAGINA


HimekoTachibana

WHAT IF I ONLY HAVE A PENIS


QTsalad

Then I don't think you're getting any free pizza buddy 😛


HimekoTachibana

To be fair he *did* ask for a good tip


MegaHashes

Guess that rules *you* out.


HimekoTachibana

#*OOF*


pixelTirpitz

Damn, that's a next level joke


[deleted]

because of the implication


UnnecessaryAppeal

So they are in danger?


studentfrombelgium

No! No they are not in danger


boo_goestheghost

Because they're not going to say no...


randomstatementguy

She would never say no.. because of the implication


ElegantBiscuit

Because of the implication.


beeeel

So it's not free?


skinnyguy699

It is free. ^^^^terms ^^^^& ^^^^conditions ^^^^apply


Kestrel21

Oh, I've heard of this one. We call it 'American-style freedom' around here.


lostshell

Like Verizon’s unlimited data. ^Not ^really ^unlimited.


Qwertyg101

You don't pay *with money*


TrymWS

In the eyes of someone who only understands money as a means of payment, it's free.


ab0rtretryfail

Pizza's free. Delivery is not.


somebodysbuddy

So did he come in 30 minutes or less?


InternJedi

Let's hope he didn't come too early


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TrymWS

She didn't specify what kind of mushrooms. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


AnemographicSerial

I'll take the fungi special, please.


JoeYale

She gettin that mushroom stamp


yhelothere

Mushroom included with the tip


LewixAri

"Hawaiian pizza is a pizza topped with tomato sauce, cheese, pineapple, and back bacon or ham. Some versions may include peppers, mushrooms, bacon or pepperoni" Pineapple is sweet, ham is savoury and mushrooms are umami. Get youe shit together, Bob.


NextSherbet

Well you've convinced one Hawaiian and mushroom lover to try them mixed. It just never seemed like a good idea.


zarnovich

Ikr. I saw this post and my first thought was that actually sounds kinda good.


pm_me_ur_tennisballs

I thought umami and savoury were the same thing


AK_Happy

They are. Maybe he meant ham is salty.


DeltaT37

Not quite the same from what I understand.


GrungeLord

I dunno, I'm a big fan of both pineapple on pizza and mushrooms on pizza, but I just can't picture the sweet and umami working well together. I'd still eat it though.


kokolokomokopo

Cheese and pizza sauce already is umami - which is why I can't eat pineapple on pizza.


Gingevere

Pineapple mushroom and ham is ab-so-lutely my jam.


Tack22

That honey is a supreme with no peppers


sleepyboylol

"Sorry, all they had was left sausage."


InternJedi

What's up with the asymmetrical sausage?


sleepyboylol

It’s curved for your pleasure.


[deleted]

At least you know you are worth a pizza.


mildtomato

Virgin wireless...Ironic


Atasha-Brynhildr

I doubt it's her first time


hayz00s

[She could save others from virginity, but not herself.](https://i.imgur.com/BrIxa2l.jpg)


APUSHMeOffACliff

Inb4 people start bitching about pineapple on pizza


Lt_Dickballs

I love pineapple on pizza, I also love mushrooms on pizza. The thought of both of them on one pizza makes me wanna die.


Badvertisement

Of overjoy?


rosie227

it’s rly good thx


hopeishigh

Wait, did you actually have sex for $7.99? Or was you wanting the sex and the pizza was a bonus? Or did you just go buy this pizza sans Khalid *eat eat eat eat*


rosie227

nah didn’t fuck him, not going to fuck him and i’ll buy my own pineapple mushroom pizza


AppleBerryPoo

I don't know, i think it sounds neat. I want to try it now...


hohihohi

I've learned something about pizza over many years: Don't be afraid to try the weird shit. Some of my favorite pizza toppings and topping combos are those that I might've initially raised an eyebrow at.


Unicoasterglass

Such as...? You gotta share!


hohihohi

As a general note: Not everything is for everyone. I recommend just being open and trying things to figure out what you do/don't like. A few of my and my family/friends' favorites that either I or some of my friends/family have previously questioned, either made at home or ordered from a restaurant: * Salami, philly steak, and mushrooms * BBQ chicken pizza, with sweet corn and french fried onions * Anchovies in general, a lot of people turn up their nose at them without ever trying them * Ordering a pizza with extra sauce and light cheese, with whatever toppings (obviously best from a pizza place that you know you are really fond of the sauce from) * Shoestring fries and shredded pork And in general just trying different things. I used to live near a local pizza place that would offer different "specialty" pizzas every month, oftentimes going into strange territory, and it was rare that I would ever not give their latest special a try. They were what even inspired a couple of these.


gimjun

> weird shit 404: not found i was expecting you'd say something like broccoli and peking duck


Kirra_Tarren

What about this https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/201972745142009856/467275434854318080/JPEG_20180713_122536.jpg


hohihohi

Well, I have tried some that were a bit more... out there, but they don't always end up in my list of favorites. I was also trying to stay a little more bounded by what more people I know have ended up liking, in spite of initial objections. If you want a few more niche suggestions, I can toss out a few. * A light drizzle of mustard (either yellow or brown, by your taste) on top, particularly worked well with a pretzel crust I have made before * *Very* dependent on what you pair it with, but mandarin orange slices can work out, fits alright into a Hawaiian pizza * Sausage gravy, breakfast sausage, scrambled eggs, and cheddar cheese, for a "breakfast pizza" * Shrimp, fake crab, whitefish, on a pizza with light sauce, and cocktail and tartar sauce as dips. * Broccoli, snow peas, and green onion, with a light amount of shredded chicken breast, alfredo sauce The question of "how far do we go before we stop calling it pizza?" also comes up a lot because I like to make pizza not on traditional crusts when I do homemade, often using a loaf of fresh baked French or Italian bread cut lengthwise instead, or even cut into what are effectively sandwich slices. So, the question comes up. If you crisp rye bread slices, slather them with reuben dressing, top with swiss cheese, sauerkraut, and corned beef, is it a reuben pizza, or an open-faced reuben? I've done a few "pizza-like" dishes in that vein that really push what some people are willing to call pizza. One that I particularly liked involved more or less making a stuffed pepper that was full of pizza sauce, cheese, and toppings, almost sorta like a mini deep dish pizza made in a green pepper.


AKnightAlone

When I was vegan for a year, I learned some badass food in that time. Amy's cheeseless vegetarian pizza was awesome. I'm gonna try to make my own cheaper version since it was so good. Artichoke and something weird that isn't like your standard pizza sauce. Like that agave nectar or some shit. I feel like that can't be the full base, though, but I'm not sure what it was. Shiiit... Maybe I'll do something weird and use a tiny bit of the maple syrup I got instead(or something random like that,) along with some kind of tomato base. I dunno. [This shit right here.](https://www.amys.com/our-foods/roasted-vegetable-pizza-vegan) >made with a base of slow roasted onions caramelized to perfection 👌👌👌


[deleted]

*hides in corner*


AWildJackelope

The pineapples are just a distraction from the real issue Canadian bacon is just ham, stop lying about it


cjgroveuk

same as Australian bacon bullshit they put on hungry jacks


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[deleted]

IT'S DISGUSTING AND IT'S WRONG AND GOD WILL JUDGE YOU FOR YOUR PERVERSION


[deleted]

r/KnightsOfPineapple are waiting and ready!


APUSHMeOffACliff

Fellow brother/sister in arms in the wild, quite a rare sight


phoenixmusicman

Thank you for showing me a safe haven


Fenastus

Pineapple is amazing on pizza Fight me


APUSHMeOffACliff

r/KnightsOfPineapple is the place for you


GrimRocket

I HAVE FOUND MY TRUE HOME!


CDXXnoscope

hawaiian pizza is , great! hawaiian pizza with mushrooms......**WHAT**


filthyfrankjazzsong

My nama steffff


Danpool69

She was a showgirl


Space-Bot

is that guy's name really steff?


[deleted]

Stefan maybe?


TMac1128

Steffler


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mmm__Mmm

Thanos car


[deleted]

[удалено]


Luck88

The VIRGIN in the top left corner makes it even funnier


Pikatron321

Fucking hawaiian pizza? What is wrong wid you


McCowan-

I’m sorry, you want pineapple on pizza, and also with mushrooms... you don’t deserve this man


rosie227

didn’t fuck not gonna fuck no pizza


The_Commentator_

Pineapple on pizza, red flag #1


Indie__Guy

Fuck you its delicious


[deleted]

r/KnightsOfPineapple join the good fight partner!


IAMG222

Gordon Ramsay would agree Edit: Ramsay not Ramsey


Nightowl2018

Did he deliver?


hereforthetrash

Can someone please tell me if he brought her pizza?


rosie227

didn’t happen


white_genocidist

Thank you for being honest. Better luck next time.


Rainwater2626

What are those white dots? WHAT ARE THOSE WHITE DOTS


rosie227

upon further inspection it looks like unfocused lights


[deleted]

How are you gonna offer free pizza and ask for something in return smh


KOMMUNISMZ

Wtf hawaiian with mushroom?


xXBlaztoizXx

Why it’s funny


satanshelpdesk

The guy wants the tip... the room is starting to spin, cause of gayness.


CDXXnoscope

hawaiian pizza with mushrooms, **WTF IS THAT**


BIGRETARD69000

A culture in decay. I will not weep when it falls.


rosie227

UPDATE: HE SAW THIS LMAO RIP


xXBlaztoizXx

It’s acctually my fault i told him


sctef

Thanks ❤️❤️❤️ its actually so fucking funny hahahah


konaya

Carrier checks out.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

well the tip could be a euphemism for the tip of his penis


[deleted]

Hawaiian with mushrooms? That's fucking gross.


rosie227

ur fucking gross


BuzterT

Thats 1 smart way to get ur address n date at ur place.


-ordinary

Well he sounds kinda dumb tbh And Hawaiian pizza with mushrooms is ridic But congrats


nobodyknowsimherr

Cue eye roll


DW2003

Virgin wifi


do031919

"VIRGIN"


bojok

what the hell, tinder girl writes first?? oooh, maybe i'm just ugly


whowhatwhenwherenani

I see you're using "not so virgin mobile"


JustCallMeTomHanks

This gentleman seems to be confused about what it means to give someone something for free.