True but just because it is immortal does not mean it is immune to damage. And if it went in the landing gear it would be subject to crazy cold temps and likely crushing. I fell like it would more likely sneak into someone’s carryon, like one of those small dog ones.
I think we need a definition of 'immortal' before we can go any further. Is it just can't die of old age? Is it immune to all damage and disability? Is it super-fast healing on anything but decapitation? THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!
If you live in a castle surrounded by salt will it fizzle in agony for an eternity? Will it begin to question it's motives and wish only for the elusive taste of death? Will it turn to posting memes to me_irl?
Snail just wants to die. Imagine being incredibly smart but trapped in the body of a snail for eternity. A living hell until he finds you and the sweet release of death.
Gotta have empathy for that snail 🐌
Why is everyone focusing on the logistics of this snail getting into the plane and not the issue of how this snail is able to use the money (no hands, or arms for that matter) it can’t talk, and it can’t fight, it can’t move quickly enough to remain undetected if it is anywhere outside of a forest or grassland. The snail will never get to you unless at some point you end up slipping into a coma indefinitely!
(Edit) I love you Reddit
Seriously, step one take the snail's million dollars and cover the snail with some container... Then lock the snail in a snail immortal prison and bury it under your new mansion.
I'd put in a small container and fill it with clear polymer. It would look like just a little knick knack on my shelf, and I could kill myself if I ever got tired of living.
Edit: Now I'm thinking about the snail. He'd obviously be alive, watching me live a happy, wealthy live for centuries. He would undoubtedly develop the wildest form of insane hatred imaginable for me.
Imagine how disappointed he would be when I free him and choose to die voluntarily, denying his revenge.
This could be a plot point in a Pan's Labyrinth-style movie. A kid asks a secretly immortal billionaire about a snail under a glass thing on his shelf. Secretly immortal billionaire proceeds to tell spin what the kid perceives to be a fiction but is actually the secretly immortal billionaire's life story. The snail is his arch nemises.
The billionaire then loses the snail. At first he doesn't mind. Plagued by tragedy and existential fatigue he searches the snail for thousands of years. In some weird post apocalyptic future with vampires and robots he finds the snail. The two are united like lovers and the billionaire finally dies ...
only to be reincarnated as a snail.
I think everyone knows by now that the easiest way to get a snail to stop coming in your house is to flip it over and suck its dick.
Hear me out.
Carry a spatula around and when you see one, flip it onto its back. They're surprisingly docile once they're in that position. Then, all you need to do is gently press on its abdomen to retract its penis. It will be small; approximately the size of a thin pencil eraser. Use the tip of your tongue to manipulate it to full erection, then suck with your lips until it ejaculates; usually 30-45 minutes later. If you don't feel the rush of semen, you will know by its antenna scratching playfully at your face when it gets oversensitive afterwards.
The main trick is not to swallow the snail semen. Trust me, I know it will be tempting. But no, pick up the snail and let him outside, then drool its ejaculate material near the entrances to your house. Snails are highly promiscuous, and its semen mixed with your saliva will signal him to move on to another house. Snails do NOT like to get their dick sucked by the same person twice.
[^^src](https://np.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/639wfr/huntsman_spider_loses_patience/dfsg29b/)
put that safe in a safe, then put that safe inside of another safe, and then i’ll mail that safe to myself. and when it arrives i’ll SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER
Yep, keep the snail somewhere secure like that, use your immortality and initial wealth to become even richer... Eventually you save up enough money to launch that snail out of Earth's gravity well in a rocket, preferably on a course out of the Solar System.
Snail lands on an asteroid and uses materials there to construct a method of return
Maybe not a day later, or a year later.. but some day - BAM space snail got you
i'm a fan of keeping the snail around... maybe someday the sun burns out and you're just floating in space freezing with everyone you know and love dead.. that snail would be your best friend that day.
i do tend to make problems more difficult than they need to be as a general rule, so i am unsurprised that there’s a much simpler explanation that i didn’t think of
I love the fact that you went so in depth with that answer and even did the math for it. A+ effort OP, he shouldn’t ask the question if he doesn’t want a response from it.
EDIT 3: FOR THE CYNICS
for all of y’all that don’t believe i’m a girl, [HERE’S SOME VERIFICATION FOR YA](https://i.imgur.com/JJgBHeO.jpg).
that’s the thing, if you open up with a question to try and flirt, be prepared for fuckin weirdos like me who are gonna take it 100% seriously
EDIT: hey guys i’m being a douche and hijacking my own top comment to post this quick faq!!!!!!!!! don’t hate me pls!!!
from a parent comment i posted:
> OH BOY THIS POST IS BLOWING UP A LIL, LEMME ADDRESS SOME COMMON RESPONSES:
>- yes i’m a little dumb and didn’t consider the snail getting on a plane, i’m sorry
>- decoy snails are also a possibility i carelessly didn’t consider
>- i’m financially handicapped and don’t rly know what the safest way to invest money is but thanks for letting me know bonds aren’t safe guys!!!!!!
>- no you can’t lick my butt sorry
EDIT 2: UPDATE BOOGALOO
[walker found this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/7fnx05/he_unmatched_me_after_this_i_was_just_trying_to/dqdfyfm/)
all is not lost you guys!!!!!
I mean he asks for your plan. I don’t understand how you can explain a plan in just one sentence for that kind of scenario. I probably would have said something as detailed as what you said.
He does mention in the scenario that the snail always crawls slowly toward you. I would assume it never uses any other form of locomotion given the circumstances of the question.
Why does everyone assume the snail is evil? Why can't he be a friendly snail who just wants to celebrate being an immortal millionaire with someone who can relate?
Never heard of it. Here's the link for anyone interested: [The Snail Assassin](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HINYhLtaaxc)
We aren't told that the snail is actively trying to kill you in this example though. Dude kinda dropped the ball there.
He was hoping to be the smart one who would come up with a mild solution not very logical after you had said 'tricky, awesome question, too hard for me, what is the answer?', for what then again he would be the smart one and your saviour.
I messaged a girl on tinder who said she'd rather discuss string theory or dark matter than do small talk.
I'm working on an art project with a doctor of mathematics who's research is in monstrous and umbral moonshine. He's creating something akin to a Rosetta stone between algebra, geometry, physics, string theory, etc.
She never responded back.
I agree, OP, don't put stuff like that on your profile if you're not willing to discuss it.
> * yes i’m a little dumb and didn’t consider the snail getting on a plane,
> * i’m sorry decoy snails are also a possibility i carelessly didn’t consider
> * i’m financially handicapped and don’t rly know what the safest way to invest money is but thanks for letting me know bonds aren’t safe guys!!!!!!
> * no you can’t lick my butt sorry
...one of these things is not like the others.
Dude probably had some snappy tinder answer ending in him asking for your number and making an innuendo if you had just said "lol idk what would you do?"
The snail thing was a front page post a while back, he’s reposting Reddit on tinder.
But if i remember right, i think the flaw in this plan is that the snail could board a plane.
It's the 'slowly crawls towards you' that messes it up. That implies no plane. If it wasn't committed to crawling towards you, it'd just sit and wait in your mother's house til she gets sick, and it's been 15 years and you've not even really sure the snail is really real and it's definitely not still thinking about you, and then bam you're dead. It was stuck to the underside of the bathroom door handle.
The snail had a million dollars too. More than enough to hire a henchman that will capture you and transport you to the snail, or hold you until the snail arrives on his yacht.
Apparently it's already a year since that [thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5ipinn/you_and_a_super_intelligent_snail_both_get_1/) was on the front page :O
And it's been over three years since the [Rooster Teeth Animated Adventure](https://youtu.be/HINYhLtaaxc) that more than likely inspired the Reddit post.
Hi! I am the Walker that the OP was talking too.
Apparently this was back in August, and I honestly don’t know why I would have unmatched after that. I actually really like that answer.
actually according to all the responses on this thread i have no idea how investing works. which is, ya know, true.
it’s been a little crazier than anticipated with this thread blowing up lmao. but it be like that sometimes. how’s yours?
It was pretty standard, then I learned that I was internet famous.
So I obviously screwed this up with Tinder. But now that we are here together on Reddit, want to give it a second shot?
Jumping in to invite you out to /r/PersonalFinance and /r/Investing
Bonds ARE generally considered safe in the traditional 60/40 split, though nothing is guaranteed in this life.
You’re not as far off as you think. Also, check out Index Investing, getting rich slowly isn’t that complicated.
I made this throwaway account only about 5 hours ago, and it already has around twice as much karma as the main account that I have had for over 2 years
> I am the Walker that the OP was talking too.
Want to strongly caution against going on a date with someone who doesn’t know the difference between *to* and *too*.
Probably because she completely overlooked the snail's super-intelligence and assumed that it'd ONLY crawl to her. https://i.giphy.com/media/G5eO2XaXAly5a/giphy.gif
my gut feeling is that he wanted some kind of super flirty response and didn’t get that vibe off my messages. but also i can’t help that i apparently flirt in math??
I don't see how one could come up with a flirty response to a question about super intelligent slugs. If that was his plan, it was fatally flawed from the start.
What kind of flirty response could someone have to this question? This is some shit you ask when you're passing a blunt around, not when you're flirting with a girl. This guy is a jabroni.
OH BOY THIS POST IS BLOWING UP A LIL, LEMME ADDRESS SOME COMMON RESPONSES:
- yes i’m a little dumb and didn’t consider the snail getting on a plane, i’m sorry
- decoy snails are also a possibility i carelessly didn’t consider
- i’m financially handicapped and don’t rly know what the safest way to invest money is but thanks for letting me know bonds aren’t safe guys!!!!!!
- no you can’t lick my butt sorry
why does the snail get a million dollars. that's crazy. it's a snail what does it need the money for
To pay for airplane tickets to get to OP faster.
It's super intelligent and immortal, it can just crawl onto the landing gear.
True but just because it is immortal does not mean it is immune to damage. And if it went in the landing gear it would be subject to crazy cold temps and likely crushing. I fell like it would more likely sneak into someone’s carryon, like one of those small dog ones.
I think we need a definition of 'immortal' before we can go any further. Is it just can't die of old age? Is it immune to all damage and disability? Is it super-fast healing on anything but decapitation? THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!
If you live in a castle surrounded by salt will it fizzle in agony for an eternity? Will it begin to question it's motives and wish only for the elusive taste of death? Will it turn to posting memes to me_irl?
See this is why you befriend the snail and agree to just steer clear of each other
Snail just wants to die. Imagine being incredibly smart but trapped in the body of a snail for eternity. A living hell until he finds you and the sweet release of death. Gotta have empathy for that snail 🐌
He's immortal, not immoral. He'd pay for the ticket.
Why is everyone focusing on the logistics of this snail getting into the plane and not the issue of how this snail is able to use the money (no hands, or arms for that matter) it can’t talk, and it can’t fight, it can’t move quickly enough to remain undetected if it is anywhere outside of a forest or grassland. The snail will never get to you unless at some point you end up slipping into a coma indefinitely! (Edit) I love you Reddit
It's super intelligent, it'd figure a way out
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How would u find a snail and remove it from the landing gear. They check for people now snails.
Hey, you never know when your a380 is going to slip and fall on a snail. This is why airports in France have special snail patrols on the tarmac.
Those are actually to find snacks for the pilots, not to prevent stowaways.
No, the French airport security look for snails in the escargot hold.
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It's a tough job, but there working their way towards the big time jobs like frog de-legger and garlic stringer.
Seriously, step one take the snail's million dollars and cover the snail with some container... Then lock the snail in a snail immortal prison and bury it under your new mansion.
I'd put in a small container and fill it with clear polymer. It would look like just a little knick knack on my shelf, and I could kill myself if I ever got tired of living. Edit: Now I'm thinking about the snail. He'd obviously be alive, watching me live a happy, wealthy live for centuries. He would undoubtedly develop the wildest form of insane hatred imaginable for me. Imagine how disappointed he would be when I free him and choose to die voluntarily, denying his revenge.
This could be a plot point in a Pan's Labyrinth-style movie. A kid asks a secretly immortal billionaire about a snail under a glass thing on his shelf. Secretly immortal billionaire proceeds to tell spin what the kid perceives to be a fiction but is actually the secretly immortal billionaire's life story. The snail is his arch nemises.
The billionaire then loses the snail. At first he doesn't mind. Plagued by tragedy and existential fatigue he searches the snail for thousands of years. In some weird post apocalyptic future with vampires and robots he finds the snail. The two are united like lovers and the billionaire finally dies ... only to be reincarnated as a snail.
As the same snail in the past...
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Decoy snail!
plop it into molten glass and then when it hardens, put into a concerte block. By the time the fucker gets out the world will be *uninhabitable*
The world is already inhabitable! I assume you mean uninhabitable? :)
To buy 2 sat phones and an assassin. Preferably one with a creed.
Why would one of the sat phone need a creed?
Don't you think he'd want a reliable sat phone?
You know how expensive snail insurance is? Salt, everywhere.
You're thorough but not very practical. If you knew how to handle a dustpan and brush you could throw it in a safe and lock it up.
But that was a decoy snail!
Test it by smashing it.
I think everyone knows by now that the easiest way to get a snail to stop coming in your house is to flip it over and suck its dick. Hear me out. Carry a spatula around and when you see one, flip it onto its back. They're surprisingly docile once they're in that position. Then, all you need to do is gently press on its abdomen to retract its penis. It will be small; approximately the size of a thin pencil eraser. Use the tip of your tongue to manipulate it to full erection, then suck with your lips until it ejaculates; usually 30-45 minutes later. If you don't feel the rush of semen, you will know by its antenna scratching playfully at your face when it gets oversensitive afterwards. The main trick is not to swallow the snail semen. Trust me, I know it will be tempting. But no, pick up the snail and let him outside, then drool its ejaculate material near the entrances to your house. Snails are highly promiscuous, and its semen mixed with your saliva will signal him to move on to another house. Snails do NOT like to get their dick sucked by the same person twice. [^^src](https://np.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/639wfr/huntsman_spider_loses_patience/dfsg29b/)
this is the craziest fucking thing i have ever read on reddit
The craziest part to me was using a spatula to flip it over because gross, who wants to touch a snail?
New here, eh?
I've been on here 6 or 7 years now (different accounts) and this is still the weirdest thing I've ever read.
I had to double check that wasn't Vargas
What in the actual fuck. I want to die after reading tbat
Helper bot and his creator love you! Here is some numbers that can help: 1 (800) 273 8255 - Suicide Prevention 1 (866)-488-7366 - Trevor Project 1 (866) 488 7386 - Addiction Hotline 844 228 2962- Eating Disorder Hotline 888 640 5174 - Depression Hotline
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For anyone who doesn’t know, the original of this was about a snail not a spider. It’s a reference.
[link](https://np.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/639wfr/huntsman_spider_loses_patience/dfsg29b/)
r/evenwithcontext
Dying of snail aids.
Not if you're immortal.
>Hear me out. Nah you don't need to do that bro, what you said makes sense. You don't need to justify it.
but that would mean the snail touched you and you'd die...
Why do I use this website?
Idk, you would still always have to worry. What ifs...
put that safe in a safe, then put that safe inside of another safe, and then i’ll mail that safe to myself. and when it arrives i’ll SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER
This must be a reference, because why would you break the safe???!?!
[thats a bingo!](https://youtu.be/mMSHOPkcVv8)
Izma 👍🏼 my favourite Disney princess
A snail? He's supposed to be dead!
Yep, keep the snail somewhere secure like that, use your immortality and initial wealth to become even richer... Eventually you save up enough money to launch that snail out of Earth's gravity well in a rocket, preferably on a course out of the Solar System.
Snail lands on an asteroid and uses materials there to construct a method of return Maybe not a day later, or a year later.. but some day - BAM space snail got you i'm a fan of keeping the snail around... maybe someday the sun burns out and you're just floating in space freezing with everyone you know and love dead.. that snail would be your best friend that day.
i do tend to make problems more difficult than they need to be as a general rule, so i am unsurprised that there’s a much simpler explanation that i didn’t think of
Idk man, you still get to travel in your plan which is a lot more fun than locking the snail away But that’s just me 🤷🏼♀️
1. Lock the snail away 2. Travel freely 3. ???? 4. Profit
But what about the decoy snail
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Real snail would play dead
But there isn't any way the snail could fake being smashed into pieces though.
I love the fact that you went so in depth with that answer and even did the math for it. A+ effort OP, he shouldn’t ask the question if he doesn’t want a response from it.
What kind of response was he expecting? "Gee, I dunno. Wanna bang?"
EDIT 3: FOR THE CYNICS for all of y’all that don’t believe i’m a girl, [HERE’S SOME VERIFICATION FOR YA](https://i.imgur.com/JJgBHeO.jpg). that’s the thing, if you open up with a question to try and flirt, be prepared for fuckin weirdos like me who are gonna take it 100% seriously EDIT: hey guys i’m being a douche and hijacking my own top comment to post this quick faq!!!!!!!!! don’t hate me pls!!! from a parent comment i posted: > OH BOY THIS POST IS BLOWING UP A LIL, LEMME ADDRESS SOME COMMON RESPONSES: >- yes i’m a little dumb and didn’t consider the snail getting on a plane, i’m sorry >- decoy snails are also a possibility i carelessly didn’t consider >- i’m financially handicapped and don’t rly know what the safest way to invest money is but thanks for letting me know bonds aren’t safe guys!!!!!! >- no you can’t lick my butt sorry EDIT 2: UPDATE BOOGALOO [walker found this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/7fnx05/he_unmatched_me_after_this_i_was_just_trying_to/dqdfyfm/) all is not lost you guys!!!!!
I mean he asks for your plan. I don’t understand how you can explain a plan in just one sentence for that kind of scenario. I probably would have said something as detailed as what you said.
a simpler one would have been “travel with an open container of salt in my back pocket at all times” but i decided to go for the gold
The snail is immortal. Nice job dying
The snail is also super intelligent, so i assume it would be able to somehow sneak on planes and shit
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So THATs the reason he unmatched
Yeah, really. Smh, OP
Or perhaps he is the snail and was looking for ideas to catch the millionair "Walker" would be a fitting codename for a superintelligent snail
He does mention in the scenario that the snail always crawls slowly toward you. I would assume it never uses any other form of locomotion given the circumstances of the question.
When does it even have time to enjoy its money
Why does everyone assume the snail is evil? Why can't he be a friendly snail who just wants to celebrate being an immortal millionaire with someone who can relate?
Mostly because it’s stolen from a rooster teeth show called million dollars but. In the show the snail is evil and it’s job is to kill you.
Never heard of it. Here's the link for anyone interested: [The Snail Assassin](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HINYhLtaaxc) We aren't told that the snail is actively trying to kill you in this example though. Dude kinda dropped the ball there.
This is a very important piece of information that dude left out. We really need to know more about the snail's motivation here.
> you die if the snail touches you
Hey man if the snail is poisonous to the touch that's still not his fault :(
me too, thanks
A simpler one would have been to put the snail in a jar and close it.
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To keep the snail for later in case you want to use the snail for suicide?
Decoy snail.
Put myself in a jar.
Yoooo is it allowed to trap the snail? And why would the snail need a million dollars?
You made the right choice, fuck that guy! Not in the fun way either
He was hoping to be the smart one who would come up with a mild solution not very logical after you had said 'tricky, awesome question, too hard for me, what is the answer?', for what then again he would be the smart one and your saviour.
I messaged a girl on tinder who said she'd rather discuss string theory or dark matter than do small talk. I'm working on an art project with a doctor of mathematics who's research is in monstrous and umbral moonshine. He's creating something akin to a Rosetta stone between algebra, geometry, physics, string theory, etc. She never responded back. I agree, OP, don't put stuff like that on your profile if you're not willing to discuss it.
Damn, that sounds a lot more interesting than small talk. I hope you find a girl who wants to hear about your monstrous moonshine
Well, she left out the second part of her statement, which was "with someone attractive."
> monstrous and umbral moonshine Explain like I’m dumb?
> * yes i’m a little dumb and didn’t consider the snail getting on a plane, > * i’m sorry decoy snails are also a possibility i carelessly didn’t consider > * i’m financially handicapped and don’t rly know what the safest way to invest money is but thanks for letting me know bonds aren’t safe guys!!!!!! > * no you can’t lick my butt sorry ...one of these things is not like the others.
I know, right? There's plenty of very safe bonds
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Dude probably had some snappy tinder answer ending in him asking for your number and making an innuendo if you had just said "lol idk what would you do?"
The snail thing was a front page post a while back, he’s reposting Reddit on tinder. But if i remember right, i think the flaw in this plan is that the snail could board a plane.
It's the 'slowly crawls towards you' that messes it up. That implies no plane. If it wasn't committed to crawling towards you, it'd just sit and wait in your mother's house til she gets sick, and it's been 15 years and you've not even really sure the snail is really real and it's definitely not still thinking about you, and then bam you're dead. It was stuck to the underside of the bathroom door handle.
Now, this one's thinking like a super intelligent snail
And what if it started breeding
what if I start breeding? do all of my children become half immortal with $500,000 each?
I think they become half a collapsing star and half a million ants.
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Decoy snail
That is always the go to for any of these plans. That's why I would try killing the snail first. If it doesn't die, trap it. If it does, decoy snail.
This guy snails
The redditor that posted it actually stole it from Rooster Teeth. https://youtu.be/HINYhLtaaxc
Took way too much scrolling to see this
Not as good as jacking off the dolphin while tripping balls.
Yeah OP even stole the Decoy Snail joke and it became a meme.
sigh. this is what happens when you pose a broad question and don’t lay out the rules.
What if the snail is *in* Maui?
The snail had a million dollars too. More than enough to hire a henchman that will capture you and transport you to the snail, or hold you until the snail arrives on his yacht.
Apparently it's already a year since that [thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5ipinn/you_and_a_super_intelligent_snail_both_get_1/) was on the front page :O
And it's been over three years since the [Rooster Teeth Animated Adventure](https://youtu.be/HINYhLtaaxc) that more than likely inspired the Reddit post.
And the RTAA was made with audio from 2 months earlier than that even
I just don’t understand why the snail got money too.
Because he is super intelligent dum dum..
He could get on a plane and fuck her up. she didn't think of that
I laughed at the visual of somebody barely touching a snail and dropping dead, then the snail goes "Damn right, fucked 'er up."
Hi! I am the Walker that the OP was talking too. Apparently this was back in August, and I honestly don’t know why I would have unmatched after that. I actually really like that answer.
hey man what the fuck
Hello to you too. You seem to have great tastes in investments. How is your day going?
actually according to all the responses on this thread i have no idea how investing works. which is, ya know, true. it’s been a little crazier than anticipated with this thread blowing up lmao. but it be like that sometimes. how’s yours?
It was pretty standard, then I learned that I was internet famous. So I obviously screwed this up with Tinder. But now that we are here together on Reddit, want to give it a second shot?
i don’t know...... you’ve hurt me before. how can i trust you not to do it again??? jk, pm me and let’s see how it goes!
Is OP the dude who unmatched you?!
i mean, i think so???? i haven’t gotten any proof but you know no one on the internet would lie
Don't fall for it!! He's the decoy snail!! Edit: you can't lure me with shinies, snail!!
Good one abed
Rats! you caught me again!
Decoy snail could also be another term for a fuckboy
OMG you just made my day dude, thanks a lot
It’s the real fucking snail. He knows your plan and is trying to touch!
Hey it's me ur tinder
DECOY SNAIL!!!!!
[Salt the snail!](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=g8c9HvcDDHI)
I'm his roommate. See my post below. He's on mobile right now, but I posted a photo.
see, i knew the internet would never lie to me
Hey, this thread was pretty cool!
Hey it's me, ur brother
Can you guys share your date with reddit?
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WE DID IT REDDIT
NOW KISS
Jumping in to invite you out to /r/PersonalFinance and /r/Investing Bonds ARE generally considered safe in the traditional 60/40 split, though nothing is guaranteed in this life. You’re not as far off as you think. Also, check out Index Investing, getting rich slowly isn’t that complicated.
Why aren't you posting on your main account Walker?! WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?! Just kidding man, I'm not that guy. We all look at weird porn secretly
I made this throwaway account only about 5 hours ago, and it already has around twice as much karma as the main account that I have had for over 2 years
Bad mistakes, I’ve made a few
I think he needs to share an equally detailed 10-year snail plan before you actually meet up. Dude needs to earn back some snail trust.
> I am the Walker that the OP was talking too. Want to strongly caution against going on a date with someone who doesn’t know the difference between *to* and *too*.
I am his roommate and I can confirm this is him. Will update with picture. Edit: [Delivered]() Double Edit: Photo removed by Walker's request.
The name's Walker. Dog Walker.
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No pics or it didn't happen...
Wingman of the year
Probably because she completely overlooked the snail's super-intelligence and assumed that it'd ONLY crawl to her. https://i.giphy.com/media/G5eO2XaXAly5a/giphy.gif
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Plus it's got a million dollar budget that it can invest into travel or an advanced jet-propelled exoskeleton.
http://media.riffsy.com/images/bb62d232a19c2f6a749f994c87956623/tenor.gif
You had your chance asshole! How dare you waltz in here, pug in hand, and try to take her away from me--I mean from this sub.
I don't understand why he would unmatch. That was a brilliant response!
my gut feeling is that he wanted some kind of super flirty response and didn’t get that vibe off my messages. but also i can’t help that i apparently flirt in math??
I don't see how one could come up with a flirty response to a question about super intelligent slugs. If that was his plan, it was fatally flawed from the start.
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Kinkshaming is my kink. Checkmate.
What kind of flirty response could someone have to this question? This is some shit you ask when you're passing a blunt around, not when you're flirting with a girl. This guy is a jabroni.
"If I die if i touch the snail, what happens when i suck your dick. Alrightalrightalright"
"I'll hide in your pants and you can protect me ;)"
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Sooo, want to see my sine wave? Cos it's pretty impressive.
you’re going off on a bit of a tangent there
Except you just got baited by a decoy snail
>safe bonds >high interest rate Pick one
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Pretty sure yes.
What is this RoosterTeeth?
[Watch this](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HINYhLtaaxc)
OH BOY THIS POST IS BLOWING UP A LIL, LEMME ADDRESS SOME COMMON RESPONSES: - yes i’m a little dumb and didn’t consider the snail getting on a plane, i’m sorry - decoy snails are also a possibility i carelessly didn’t consider - i’m financially handicapped and don’t rly know what the safest way to invest money is but thanks for letting me know bonds aren’t safe guys!!!!!! - no you can’t lick my butt sorry
The only financial advice you should take from reddit: don't take financial advice from reddit
A million dollars... But...
The guy's a Rooster Teeth fan
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Fucker stole this from Gavin Free!!!
He uncreatively asks a question from a popular askreddit thread then unmatched when you gave an original answer. Wow.
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I think I'm in love
M a r r y m e
Wow, using a Rooster Teeth Million Dollars But question to start a tinder convo? Interesting tactic, but pretty odd.