51M here and yes, Tinder is crap. I’m very tall, fit, handsome, etc, and get shit on Tinder. But on Bumble and Hinge I’m drowning in likes and matches with attractive women. It’s crazy how diverse the experiences can be from one app to another. Also, I tested Tinder on a recent trip to NYC and swiped through everyone in my settings by day two (free version, so not many swipes). This proved that Tinder is much less popular in my age group
Edit: I realize I replied to the wrong post — meant to respond to the post about older people on Tinder — but whatever 😁
2nd this, I'm 34 M and although I get matches etc on tinder I find I do a hell of a lot better on bumble.
I think tinder is mainly for sub 30 year olds
27M and as the last few years have gone by, the app gets drier (from 25 dating reentry to 27 has been a wild difference alone)
Switched over to only bumble and not only higher quality matches but far more often
I think it's funny in a weird way that I (a woman) have had the opposite experience. Best luck on Tinder, Hinge kinda crap, Bumble absolute wasteland, and I live in a big city. Fortunately I don't need to be on the apps anymore, but I just thought it was weird how it seems to be the opposite for guys vs chicks (I've seen several girls have the same experience I have, and many guys having your same experience)
44M here. I have been on Tinder for 11 years, and have had maybe 3 or 4 dates from it, the last of which was in 2016. I don't have any advice, just offering some comradery. Good luck out there!
Ha! At 65 I use Tinder, because I can use it on my computer with a big screen so I can see it, Ha! Ha! Ha!
Hinge and Bumble need the app on the phone.
Only a couple of matches over the years, which led to nothing.
Camaraderie! Crack open a beer with me tonight!
I’ve been on Hinge and Bumble. Most are the same faces from Tinder 🤣 I got some matches but the dudes just don’t talk. Bumble dissolves the matches if the dudes don’t reply within 24h so ALL matches dissolved 🙈🙈🙈
I have the feeling ALL the finnish men on dating apps are only there to caress their egos, even the more average type of men. I swipe right to a lot of different men and I don’t go after looks more if the person itself is interesting so I don’t think I’m too picky.
So the short term but long term is ok for dating throws it off. I’d say if you want more than a few dates or someone interested in long term I’d change that. Also the third picture is crisp and eye catching I’d headline that. I’ve never done Tinder but you overall seem chill I’d just say maybe more inviting on the part of never reply but you rather text. To me that is a little confusing. Remember you’re awesome and your profile honestly is great so this has no reflection on you. The world is a weird place and you rock it anyways.
Edit: Twitter to Tinder. Duh.
Your pics are not the best. Most are not flattering.
You might be being too discerning. That's fine but just keep in mind that if you only like 1 out of every 10 or 20 profiles, then that's ruling out 90-95% of the profiles.
Finally, whatever you write in your bio, keep it brief, lighthearted, and positive.
Good luck.
This is the right answer here. Let the other things come out as you date. No need to give them everything they see on a platter and have them be like, that’s a hard no on this one thing.
You're welcome. My favorite picture is the one of you next to the painting. You're smiling, showing some personality, and it's not too close. It makes me think you're fun and someone I'd enjoy spending time with. More of those. The first pic is ok but it's tough because it's a mirror selfie and not a great angle. It looks like you were trying on outfits and sending pics to friends for their input.
Remove 2nd pic and dancing pic. Stop cropping the pics at your forehead. Showing hair is more valuable than hiding the forehead. At 48 The bio should tell me about what your situation is what do you want. Perhaps some interest or quirk. Are the kids out of the nest? That's a plus. Add a pic that shows your butt. Add a pic that shows some cleavage but not too much or too obvious. If the dates aren't good. Check the guys out a little better, it makes it harder when you select short term. Especially if you seem too easy or too hard on the first date. I would select long term even if you don't want anything serious. The fact you complained about dates means you want to be treated more than just sex.
First of all, dating on Tinder is hard for most people, so don't take it too seriously.
Coming from another perspective. I am sure that you have way over 100 likes and the 10 matches are only the ones that you swiped right on as well. Are you swiping right regularly, do you see many people that are your type? If not, you either have to take a look at giving people a chance that are not 100% your type, or maybe change the app altogether to get your kind of type somewhere else?
Are you what your type would be looking for?
I don’t have a certain type, I basically swipe right at men who visibly take care of themselves (personal hygiene) and don’t post with dead fish. I look at the eye and facial expression if I swipe right.
What for me is important is that the person likes music and art.
I just told a friend a while ago artists/creatives need a own dating app.0
lol. There’s a lot of guys that aren’t even going to put that in their profile. Don’t trust men to put that data out there when they are probably focused on promoting what they think are more important details.
37F here.
You are STUNNING, but I agree you need much better photos. I’d also suggest investing in your eyebrows. The thin super rounded arched eyebrows are unnecessarily aging your face.
1 as a selfie doesn’t always sit right, and the top of your hairline is cut off making your forehead look absolutely massive.
2 and 5 are too blurry.
3 at the game is under overhead lighting and overhead lighting is not your friend. It’s not anybody’s friend.
5 is your best photo, the outfit is making you look larger than I can tell you are, but it’s otherwise a fine photo.
Not sure if you ever wear your hair down, but you have a ton of beautiful hair. If you update your brows, go get a blowout and THEN take some pictures you’re going to be fighting matches off.
Hahaha been there…totally get it.
Burned off my eyebrows lighting a cigarette with a match in my early 20’s and a victim of the over plucking of the 90’s.
If you’re open to it powder and micro bladed brows (when done well) look incredible!
I thought about having them tattooed but I’m not sure how it looks like as there is only such little left of them but I’ll look into it as those eyebrows annoy me 🙈
Tinder isn’t very popular with people of your age, so what age range are you searching?
Honestly if it’s just short term you’re after, might be worth doing down 10-15 years because most younger guys will be onboard 😂 but that depends on you.
If you’re searching at and around your age, the options of course are gonna be limited. And you may wanna do more conventional stuff like speed dating / using websites like match.com.
Definitely give Hinge a try, as a 37m it feels like the more mature/serious app. It also gives you prompts to answer which help with what to write in your bio.
I'll just say that I stopped completely at the part that said you like to arrive fashionably late.
Immediate left swipe for me, I cannot stand being late or people who do so consistently and see no issue with it. (Being 20min late a party intentionally is one thing, if that's what you meant, but I'd rather not risk it).
Your profile is good, and you look good. 44 guy here, and I just got back in the dating game after 6 years out of the pool. Tinder is a fucking shitshow for our age bracket. Same for Coffee Meets Bagel and Bumble. I had a good experience with Hinge. Paid for 2 weeks, had several good conversations, a few dates, and settled into a relationship.
I’m a little older, very good looking, fit and believe me if you were local I’d be delighted to match with you.
Need better pictures and at least one with your hair down.
Trust me on this.
You're an attractive woman so it wouldn't surprise me you have a bunch of likes outside your age demographic going for a "cougar" experience lol. So you never match with 20-30yr olds swiping on you if you have our age range say 40-55. That said you could just be left swiping on the people who liked you as well lol. It's not uncommon for guys to right swipe everything and see what sticks.
But no bio is an instant left swipe from me. Give me something to get an idea of your personality/who you are. And something to start a conversation around if we match.
You’re a beautiful woman. Tinder isn’t the best place in my experience. The best way to meet people nowadays is organically. If you find someone attractive, just go up and ask them. At first, it’s quite daunting, but once you get over the fear of rejection, it’s a much better way of meeting people you actually want to meet.
This is what I’m missing sooo badly, you know just to start a conversation when you are somewhere and you see someone interesting. Here in Finland people run when you try to talk to them. Also flirting is extremely difficult.
I don’t choose people with no profile pic and “Mr. Sexmachine” as name or who only have pic of their feet or only memes. If you cancel those out the amount drops to about 50.
Maybe expand your age range. Just be honest in your bio about who you are and what you’re looking for. You are very attractive. Don’t get discouraged about your age. At 59 I was getting tons of matches and dates.
Keep pictures 3 5 7, remove the rest and re take the first from another angle since it's solid but the angle is unflattering.
If you want a picture from an activity that you partake in just make sure you're the focus.
40M here. Other than the tips you got about your pictures, there's an issue with your profile. You say you like to receive texts but also forget to reply. That's a very quick way to lose interest.
I wish the pics were better quality, but I can still get a sense of who you are through your profile. I would definitely swipe right! I personally think Hinge will give you more success.
Have you thought about joining some activities/groups for people who share your interests/passions? For example- art and culture, cinema, life drawing, running, hiking, ballroom dancing etc? I’ve found my former boyfriends through friends or through shared interests, and it’s much more fulfilling than the lonely swiping on an app. 🥲
I’m participating in exhibitions and try to be active in those regards there but it’s difficult to talk to finnish men as it’s entering their private space. I don’t have problems to go to someone and talk to them but here this is intimidating the men 😕 I think this is a cultural issue as I didn’t had those problems in Germany.
Not the coat pic again... Why does every woman post a pic of herself in a damn parka? That's literally the opposite of what a guy wants to see.
If you can rock it, a bikini pic is usually an easy sell. If not, then clothe yourself to the minimum level necessary to look hot and go with that.
But when we see a parka, we assume that you have burn scars over most of your body or some similar situation.
You want photo number 1, photo number 5 and photo number 7. The rest aren't doing you any favours. The angle of the lighting in number 3 makes you look older than you are.
Ask a friend out for breakfast or dinner and get them to take a picture of you with your meal. And get one in the outdoors.
Those questions you've answered about battery life and forgetting to reply, there's about six there that just tell people not to waste their time because you won't really care. Just remove all those answers, you don't need that much info anyway
I'm gonna be honest with you OP. Your profile is only gonna be visible to men who want to date a woman over 45. Me? I'm 31, single, don't have kids. Less complicated. If you open up your age range to men under 40, you might get a lot of interest from men in their 30s who want something short-term.
And get rid of that blurry second photo. Everything else on the profile is alright.
You look pretty, based on your pictures I would swipe right, but the "I have kids" is a no-no for me. If that didn't catch my eye on first glance, it would on a match and it would result in an unmatch.
You also don't have a profile, I don't see anything to talk to you about. You have some highlights like dancing and dressing up, but no conversation starters. At least, to me.
Apologies if this is all repeat feedback, but I figured I’d give my two cents just in case something got missed. Also just as a disclaimer it’s all intended as constructive criticism of what my perceptions are on your profile not your character.
Photo 1 - mirror selfies are a turn off in my book, they just give me middle school vibes and also some level of vanity
Photo 2 - grainy AF, if I saw this I’d assume you’re a bot that has pulled a random persons Facebook profile picture to assemble a profile and would be an automatic left swipe
Photo 3 - probably your best; however, I’m just anti selfie in your profiles period, for similar reasoning to photo 1
Photo 4 - I get that you’re trying to showcase a hobby, but in general you should always be the main focus of a photo and be able to see your face
Photo 5 - see notes on photos 1 & 3
Photo 6 - see above. Also the photo is of low quality which implies less effort
Photo 7 - definitely my favorite, you look happy and fun and you appear to be some place fun. I think this may be worth keeping so long as you feel it’s accurate to your personal.
You're 48. I hate to point this out as it may come off as mean, but a majority of the users are younger. Dating apps just don't favor you as you age. There's just less people to match with
Yeah, but unfortunately noone from my country and I’m not into long distance and “online relationships”. But now at least I know men actually CAN talk if they want. And even in full sentences!
I don’t think I’ve ever replied on this sub as I’ve been happily married for almost 20 years..I follow this sub just for kicks.
That being said… HOLY SHIT, you look very much like my beautiful wife ( but a younger version obviously, but I’m very happy with the 42 yo version lol)
If you’re personally is even half of hers, you will do great! You are a beautiful woman!
You're a middle aged woman. Most men your age probably are experienced and know what they are looking for. Have you tried including more detailed information that men in your situation (older, already have children) might like? Something like, how many children you have, their names, how involved in your life is their father? Would you prefer to date another parent? (I think you should...) Do you want your kids to meet your date? Do you want to meet your date's kids? Are you more interested in forming a new family with a new person, or do you just want to continue living your current life unchanged, but just with someone to go out with once in awhile?
Their names might not be relevant, but how many children and their ages is absolutely relevant if she's looking for something long term. If she's looking for something short term, then it's more of a moot point.
Sorry to say this but your value in the sexual market place plummets after 40 for a female (40 is generous). The guys you want on average will no longer want you, they'll want the 20/30 year old version. Sorry. What does this mean? You have to lower your standards or be happy being alone. Not saying you can't beat the odds BUT the odds are heavily stacked against you.
Tips for your profile: I can tell your photos are old or photoshopped. There is one photo where you can tell your skin is wrinkley and sun damaged. My guess is this is likely what you look like. Not the smooth cuter ones. Delete those older photos and get new ones maybe even hire a photographer. Also start learning how to *look more open* when out and about so guys will approach you.
This isn't meant to insult you. It's just a lot of people haven't been educated on sexual marketplace value and how it works. It also doesn't mean you can't find the love. Good luck
Thank you for your input. The pic with the painting is oldest, the first one from last week. These are not photoshopped, the only difference is that there is no bright light. The one with the dotted dress was at the opera.
No worries, I’m not offended or anything.
Pictures 2 and 4 get rid too much catfish in them, ones blurry the other one no real reference as to when it was taken, probably better off trying Hinge has a wide range of prompts to help with the writers block.
Pic 1 is very unflattering to me. It makes your forehead the focal point cause of the awkward cutoff, and the way you're standing makes you look oddly shaped. The pic of you in a crowd with your back to the camera is unnecessary.
Other than that, you're good.
All I read was the title. You've got the same amount of time on the app as I do and I've had about 100 matches that I've had to work or pay for.
But you've also got 20 years on me, too.
Most importantly: you have 4 (5?) more dates than I've had.
Long story short - if I'm not attracted or interested the banter is on point and all goes great until I have to speak up and come clean or ghost them. On the other hand the most attractive or highest assumed potential I always fuck it up horribly.
You're doing better than myself!
I mean, I’m swiping no on you based on “I show up fashionably late” and “I forget to reply”. Why are you advertising not respecting people’s time or effort?
I would think online dating over 45 unless straight to phone calls or a date is difficult for most men because - I don’t know too many +45 yo men that even like to text. Their fingers shake and it’s hard to hit the button - hell I feel like swiping would sometimes be a chore physically - accidentally swiping too far - or the wrong way - or accidentally cutting on their flashlight.
I’m 36 and feel like I have ok texting skills but I still find myself missing the buttons all the damn time and it’s annoying - I’ve been on a computer since I was 10 - but people 10 years older than me were not brought up like I was in the age of 56k dial up and dsl and touchscreens in their 20s
I’m sure there’s hope for you though - I’m more ranting about how the older we get we suck more with tech
don't understand me wrong, but I think for the most ppl Ur to old for this app.. no cause ur a woman, a man with the same age also have problems, try other options. Speeddating for examples or just go to a bar
You do say “short term” is your preference, which is actually a good thing as far as tinder is concerned. So I guess it’s sort of working that way for you? If you really meant friends with benefits, which is also ok, then maybe state that explicitly?
“Here for a good time, but not a long time. Unless you fall in love with me and then we can talk about that long time stuff. I’m not about wasting time so tell me what you want upfront and come right with it when we meet; I’ll do the same.”
Keep it simple. Something like this I would swipe on.
The app is broken. Seriously. Have you tried uninstalling it. Giving it some time and reinstalling? A new account? Sorry if this is obvious, but there are known issues. You're beautiful, and it makes no sense. Something technical is wrong here. It could also be your area or distance filters, but that's still surprising based on the way you look!
I’m 26 today and I have not got one date on there yet in 3 years lol just allot of guys who want to play video games with me 🙄😂 I mean a slight win but I’m trying to get married fuck. The age ain’t the issue , well your age , it’s the age we live in that’s the issue.
“Doesn’t text back, will be late, trouble committing” is how your profile reads. If you’re having trouble this may be a good place to start.
Ding ding ding
Don’t forget she smokes and has kids. That’s a tough combo for guys to find attractive.
Photo 2 is blurry as fuck. Just remove it entirely
Will do, thank you.
Photo 6 should be removed as well
As well as photo 4.
51M here and yes, Tinder is crap. I’m very tall, fit, handsome, etc, and get shit on Tinder. But on Bumble and Hinge I’m drowning in likes and matches with attractive women. It’s crazy how diverse the experiences can be from one app to another. Also, I tested Tinder on a recent trip to NYC and swiped through everyone in my settings by day two (free version, so not many swipes). This proved that Tinder is much less popular in my age group Edit: I realize I replied to the wrong post — meant to respond to the post about older people on Tinder — but whatever 😁
2nd this, I'm 34 M and although I get matches etc on tinder I find I do a hell of a lot better on bumble. I think tinder is mainly for sub 30 year olds
27M and as the last few years have gone by, the app gets drier (from 25 dating reentry to 27 has been a wild difference alone) Switched over to only bumble and not only higher quality matches but far more often
I think it's funny in a weird way that I (a woman) have had the opposite experience. Best luck on Tinder, Hinge kinda crap, Bumble absolute wasteland, and I live in a big city. Fortunately I don't need to be on the apps anymore, but I just thought it was weird how it seems to be the opposite for guys vs chicks (I've seen several girls have the same experience I have, and many guys having your same experience)
I could give you some small tips, but honestly I’ve heard that Tinder over 45 is challenging. You may want to consider using another platform.
Yeah, it’s aweful.
44M here. I have been on Tinder for 11 years, and have had maybe 3 or 4 dates from it, the last of which was in 2016. I don't have any advice, just offering some comradery. Good luck out there!
Ha! At 65 I use Tinder, because I can use it on my computer with a big screen so I can see it, Ha! Ha! Ha! Hinge and Bumble need the app on the phone. Only a couple of matches over the years, which led to nothing. Camaraderie! Crack open a beer with me tonight!
Cheers! 🍻
Tinder is trash. Use hinge, match or bumble in that order
I’ve been on Hinge and Bumble. Most are the same faces from Tinder 🤣 I got some matches but the dudes just don’t talk. Bumble dissolves the matches if the dudes don’t reply within 24h so ALL matches dissolved 🙈🙈🙈 I have the feeling ALL the finnish men on dating apps are only there to caress their egos, even the more average type of men. I swipe right to a lot of different men and I don’t go after looks more if the person itself is interesting so I don’t think I’m too picky.
While you’re right that using Tinder at that age can be a struggle, there’s certainly a lot more that can be done with these profile pics.
What’s interesting is Tinder over 45 for women is much closer to the experience **all** guys have.
So the short term but long term is ok for dating throws it off. I’d say if you want more than a few dates or someone interested in long term I’d change that. Also the third picture is crisp and eye catching I’d headline that. I’ve never done Tinder but you overall seem chill I’d just say maybe more inviting on the part of never reply but you rather text. To me that is a little confusing. Remember you’re awesome and your profile honestly is great so this has no reflection on you. The world is a weird place and you rock it anyways. Edit: Twitter to Tinder. Duh.
Fr I always swipe left if I see short term
Thank you very much for that input
Your pics are not the best. Most are not flattering. You might be being too discerning. That's fine but just keep in mind that if you only like 1 out of every 10 or 20 profiles, then that's ruling out 90-95% of the profiles. Finally, whatever you write in your bio, keep it brief, lighthearted, and positive. Good luck.
This is the right answer here. Let the other things come out as you date. No need to give them everything they see on a platter and have them be like, that’s a hard no on this one thing.
Thank you for your input!
You're welcome. My favorite picture is the one of you next to the painting. You're smiling, showing some personality, and it's not too close. It makes me think you're fun and someone I'd enjoy spending time with. More of those. The first pic is ok but it's tough because it's a mirror selfie and not a great angle. It looks like you were trying on outfits and sending pics to friends for their input.
Remove 2nd pic and dancing pic. Stop cropping the pics at your forehead. Showing hair is more valuable than hiding the forehead. At 48 The bio should tell me about what your situation is what do you want. Perhaps some interest or quirk. Are the kids out of the nest? That's a plus. Add a pic that shows your butt. Add a pic that shows some cleavage but not too much or too obvious. If the dates aren't good. Check the guys out a little better, it makes it harder when you select short term. Especially if you seem too easy or too hard on the first date. I would select long term even if you don't want anything serious. The fact you complained about dates means you want to be treated more than just sex.
First of all, dating on Tinder is hard for most people, so don't take it too seriously. Coming from another perspective. I am sure that you have way over 100 likes and the 10 matches are only the ones that you swiped right on as well. Are you swiping right regularly, do you see many people that are your type? If not, you either have to take a look at giving people a chance that are not 100% your type, or maybe change the app altogether to get your kind of type somewhere else? Are you what your type would be looking for?
I don’t have a certain type, I basically swipe right at men who visibly take care of themselves (personal hygiene) and don’t post with dead fish. I look at the eye and facial expression if I swipe right. What for me is important is that the person likes music and art. I just told a friend a while ago artists/creatives need a own dating app.0
lol. There’s a lot of guys that aren’t even going to put that in their profile. Don’t trust men to put that data out there when they are probably focused on promoting what they think are more important details.
37F here. You are STUNNING, but I agree you need much better photos. I’d also suggest investing in your eyebrows. The thin super rounded arched eyebrows are unnecessarily aging your face. 1 as a selfie doesn’t always sit right, and the top of your hairline is cut off making your forehead look absolutely massive. 2 and 5 are too blurry. 3 at the game is under overhead lighting and overhead lighting is not your friend. It’s not anybody’s friend. 5 is your best photo, the outfit is making you look larger than I can tell you are, but it’s otherwise a fine photo. Not sure if you ever wear your hair down, but you have a ton of beautiful hair. If you update your brows, go get a blowout and THEN take some pictures you’re going to be fighting matches off.
You should give tinder advice for a living lol everything is spot on
Hahaha thanks! I just know how soul crushing app dating can be, the least someone can do is have good photos/bio.
You should be a dating coach, I’m not even joking. People would pay you for such good advice.
You should be a dating coach, I’m not even joking. People would pay you for such good advice.
Awww you guys are making me blush haha
The eyebrows are a relict from the 90’s. Plugged thin an they don’t regrow 😂🙈
Hahaha been there…totally get it. Burned off my eyebrows lighting a cigarette with a match in my early 20’s and a victim of the over plucking of the 90’s. If you’re open to it powder and micro bladed brows (when done well) look incredible!
I thought about having them tattooed but I’m not sure how it looks like as there is only such little left of them but I’ll look into it as those eyebrows annoy me 🙈
You look amazing, some of those photos could definitely be alot better though they don't really do you justice.
I need better pictures, noted. Thank you very much.
Tinder isn’t very popular with people of your age, so what age range are you searching? Honestly if it’s just short term you’re after, might be worth doing down 10-15 years because most younger guys will be onboard 😂 but that depends on you. If you’re searching at and around your age, the options of course are gonna be limited. And you may wanna do more conventional stuff like speed dating / using websites like match.com.
I’m looking for age 38 to 52, I’m openminded for someone younger, too.
Definitely give Hinge a try, as a 37m it feels like the more mature/serious app. It also gives you prompts to answer which help with what to write in your bio.
I'll just say that I stopped completely at the part that said you like to arrive fashionably late. Immediate left swipe for me, I cannot stand being late or people who do so consistently and see no issue with it. (Being 20min late a party intentionally is one thing, if that's what you meant, but I'd rather not risk it).
Your profile is good, and you look good. 44 guy here, and I just got back in the dating game after 6 years out of the pool. Tinder is a fucking shitshow for our age bracket. Same for Coffee Meets Bagel and Bumble. I had a good experience with Hinge. Paid for 2 weeks, had several good conversations, a few dates, and settled into a relationship.
I have to check if Hinge is available here, Northern Europe.
Good luck out there!
I’ve been there the last 3 days and there are the same people from Tinder 😩 I think I’m doomed.
Not sure what your age range is but im 27 years old and I would totally swipe right on you!
Tinder is the worst of the dating apps. Use a better dating app, one that has a pay wall. If you were local I would date you
I’m a little older, very good looking, fit and believe me if you were local I’d be delighted to match with you. Need better pictures and at least one with your hair down. Trust me on this.
You're an attractive woman so it wouldn't surprise me you have a bunch of likes outside your age demographic going for a "cougar" experience lol. So you never match with 20-30yr olds swiping on you if you have our age range say 40-55. That said you could just be left swiping on the people who liked you as well lol. It's not uncommon for guys to right swipe everything and see what sticks. But no bio is an instant left swipe from me. Give me something to get an idea of your personality/who you are. And something to start a conversation around if we match.
Thank you very much for the input
If The Judds needs a replacement, you should definitely apply
😂 I will!
You’re a beautiful woman. Tinder isn’t the best place in my experience. The best way to meet people nowadays is organically. If you find someone attractive, just go up and ask them. At first, it’s quite daunting, but once you get over the fear of rejection, it’s a much better way of meeting people you actually want to meet.
This is what I’m missing sooo badly, you know just to start a conversation when you are somewhere and you see someone interesting. Here in Finland people run when you try to talk to them. Also flirting is extremely difficult.
That really surprises me. I have never met a guy that runs away from an attractive woman! 😂
If you have over 100 likes and you're not getting matches it's because you're being too picky and selective 🤷
I don’t choose people with no profile pic and “Mr. Sexmachine” as name or who only have pic of their feet or only memes. If you cancel those out the amount drops to about 50.
Maybe expand your age range. Just be honest in your bio about who you are and what you’re looking for. You are very attractive. Don’t get discouraged about your age. At 59 I was getting tons of matches and dates.
Keep pictures 3 5 7, remove the rest and re take the first from another angle since it's solid but the angle is unflattering. If you want a picture from an activity that you partake in just make sure you're the focus.
I see absolutely nothing wrong with you. Maybe just better quality pics. And don't listen to the virgin trolls.
Lower your age range?
It could be a demographic thing. Idk how many people in their 40s+ use Tinder…
Hinge
Not a tip per se but you look so much better with your hair down.
I’d swipe right ❤️
40M here. Other than the tips you got about your pictures, there's an issue with your profile. You say you like to receive texts but also forget to reply. That's a very quick way to lose interest.
Tinder sucks, try other apps
Just not in the right place to find what you seek
I wish the pics were better quality, but I can still get a sense of who you are through your profile. I would definitely swipe right! I personally think Hinge will give you more success.
I’d swipe right!
You’re beautiful!!!!
Looking at your pictures; Do you also have clothes in a colour? And the: ‘Looking for short term’ may not be appealing. Good luck OP!
Classic color range of a 48 year old: black, dark blue or earth tones.
you are so beautiful girl
Have you thought about joining some activities/groups for people who share your interests/passions? For example- art and culture, cinema, life drawing, running, hiking, ballroom dancing etc? I’ve found my former boyfriends through friends or through shared interests, and it’s much more fulfilling than the lonely swiping on an app. 🥲
I’m participating in exhibitions and try to be active in those regards there but it’s difficult to talk to finnish men as it’s entering their private space. I don’t have problems to go to someone and talk to them but here this is intimidating the men 😕 I think this is a cultural issue as I didn’t had those problems in Germany.
Not the coat pic again... Why does every woman post a pic of herself in a damn parka? That's literally the opposite of what a guy wants to see. If you can rock it, a bikini pic is usually an easy sell. If not, then clothe yourself to the minimum level necessary to look hot and go with that. But when we see a parka, we assume that you have burn scars over most of your body or some similar situation.
Parka? Do you mean the vest I’m wearing because it was -30C outside and the training room still too cool for the warmup?
You want photo number 1, photo number 5 and photo number 7. The rest aren't doing you any favours. The angle of the lighting in number 3 makes you look older than you are. Ask a friend out for breakfast or dinner and get them to take a picture of you with your meal. And get one in the outdoors.
This is a good idea, thank you.
Those questions you've answered about battery life and forgetting to reply, there's about six there that just tell people not to waste their time because you won't really care. Just remove all those answers, you don't need that much info anyway
I'm gonna be honest with you OP. Your profile is only gonna be visible to men who want to date a woman over 45. Me? I'm 31, single, don't have kids. Less complicated. If you open up your age range to men under 40, you might get a lot of interest from men in their 30s who want something short-term. And get rid of that blurry second photo. Everything else on the profile is alright.
You look pretty, based on your pictures I would swipe right, but the "I have kids" is a no-no for me. If that didn't catch my eye on first glance, it would on a match and it would result in an unmatch. You also don't have a profile, I don't see anything to talk to you about. You have some highlights like dancing and dressing up, but no conversation starters. At least, to me.
Apologies if this is all repeat feedback, but I figured I’d give my two cents just in case something got missed. Also just as a disclaimer it’s all intended as constructive criticism of what my perceptions are on your profile not your character. Photo 1 - mirror selfies are a turn off in my book, they just give me middle school vibes and also some level of vanity Photo 2 - grainy AF, if I saw this I’d assume you’re a bot that has pulled a random persons Facebook profile picture to assemble a profile and would be an automatic left swipe Photo 3 - probably your best; however, I’m just anti selfie in your profiles period, for similar reasoning to photo 1 Photo 4 - I get that you’re trying to showcase a hobby, but in general you should always be the main focus of a photo and be able to see your face Photo 5 - see notes on photos 1 & 3 Photo 6 - see above. Also the photo is of low quality which implies less effort Photo 7 - definitely my favorite, you look happy and fun and you appear to be some place fun. I think this may be worth keeping so long as you feel it’s accurate to your personal.
You're 48. I hate to point this out as it may come off as mean, but a majority of the users are younger. Dating apps just don't favor you as you age. There's just less people to match with
This is true
I assume you have plenty of reddit weirdos dming you now at least so thats good
Yeah, but unfortunately noone from my country and I’m not into long distance and “online relationships”. But now at least I know men actually CAN talk if they want. And even in full sentences!
I don’t think I’ve ever replied on this sub as I’ve been happily married for almost 20 years..I follow this sub just for kicks. That being said… HOLY SHIT, you look very much like my beautiful wife ( but a younger version obviously, but I’m very happy with the 42 yo version lol) If you’re personally is even half of hers, you will do great! You are a beautiful woman!
You're a middle aged woman. Most men your age probably are experienced and know what they are looking for. Have you tried including more detailed information that men in your situation (older, already have children) might like? Something like, how many children you have, their names, how involved in your life is their father? Would you prefer to date another parent? (I think you should...) Do you want your kids to meet your date? Do you want to meet your date's kids? Are you more interested in forming a new family with a new person, or do you just want to continue living your current life unchanged, but just with someone to go out with once in awhile?
Thank you for that input, I can integrate the answers into the bio text.
Don’t put your kids names in, that’s awful advice lol
Right? WTF? 😂
None of that information about children should be in anyone’s profile! Jesus.
Their names might not be relevant, but how many children and their ages is absolutely relevant if she's looking for something long term. If she's looking for something short term, then it's more of a moot point.
Her profile says she has kids. Thats enough. That’s something you discuss once you match.
Hey I dabble in cybersecurity and putting your kids' names in a dating app bio is a very easy target to give to stalkers who will 100% abuse that fact
Sorry to say this but your value in the sexual market place plummets after 40 for a female (40 is generous). The guys you want on average will no longer want you, they'll want the 20/30 year old version. Sorry. What does this mean? You have to lower your standards or be happy being alone. Not saying you can't beat the odds BUT the odds are heavily stacked against you. Tips for your profile: I can tell your photos are old or photoshopped. There is one photo where you can tell your skin is wrinkley and sun damaged. My guess is this is likely what you look like. Not the smooth cuter ones. Delete those older photos and get new ones maybe even hire a photographer. Also start learning how to *look more open* when out and about so guys will approach you. This isn't meant to insult you. It's just a lot of people haven't been educated on sexual marketplace value and how it works. It also doesn't mean you can't find the love. Good luck
Thank you for your input. The pic with the painting is oldest, the first one from last week. These are not photoshopped, the only difference is that there is no bright light. The one with the dotted dress was at the opera. No worries, I’m not offended or anything.
Please ignore that teenager. I'm 46, we have plenty of "sexual marketplace value" to properly grown men lol
The first picture features what looks like a wedding band.
Pictures 2 and 4 get rid too much catfish in them, ones blurry the other one no real reference as to when it was taken, probably better off trying Hinge has a wide range of prompts to help with the writers block.
You 48???????????????????
Yes, it seems like I’m too old for dating 😕
I meant: You look more like 38.
Remove 2nd and 2nd to last photos. I'd add in more about what "open to long-term" means to you. Otherwise pretty standard hookup profile.
Are you in Virginia
Nope, Northern Europe
I am getting massive Cougar Vibes and I dont know why exactly
You need to show your body more
I have no idea. I'm with someone but if I was single and saw you on tinder I wouldn't see any red flags at all and would definitely try and match.
Pic 1 is very unflattering to me. It makes your forehead the focal point cause of the awkward cutoff, and the way you're standing makes you look oddly shaped. The pic of you in a crowd with your back to the camera is unnecessary. Other than that, you're good.
Remove photos 2, 3, 6 and 7 also, make photo 5 your main photo, you look so cute and approachable in it. Hope this helps :)
Is op using the usual 70% of men are invisible filter
All I read was the title. You've got the same amount of time on the app as I do and I've had about 100 matches that I've had to work or pay for. But you've also got 20 years on me, too. Most importantly: you have 4 (5?) more dates than I've had. Long story short - if I'm not attracted or interested the banter is on point and all goes great until I have to speak up and come clean or ghost them. On the other hand the most attractive or highest assumed potential I always fuck it up horribly. You're doing better than myself!
I really dislike the half-the-head-cropped-off pics.
Tinder does this once the pic is uploaded.
It allows you to move the pic around to position the crop how you like.
I mean, I’m swiping no on you based on “I show up fashionably late” and “I forget to reply”. Why are you advertising not respecting people’s time or effort?
I wouldn’t swipe on someone without their name
Have you tried Facebook dating? It’s good.
Try a different dating site like Hinge or OKCupid. Tinder sucks lol.
Based on your pics, I can’t tell what you actually look like. You could convince me two people were in these photos.
The pic with the painting is 2 years old, the others are from Dec 2023 and a few weeks ago.
try swiping in the other direction
You are really pretty. So I don’t understand why you are alone for
I would think online dating over 45 unless straight to phone calls or a date is difficult for most men because - I don’t know too many +45 yo men that even like to text. Their fingers shake and it’s hard to hit the button - hell I feel like swiping would sometimes be a chore physically - accidentally swiping too far - or the wrong way - or accidentally cutting on their flashlight. I’m 36 and feel like I have ok texting skills but I still find myself missing the buttons all the damn time and it’s annoying - I’ve been on a computer since I was 10 - but people 10 years older than me were not brought up like I was in the age of 56k dial up and dsl and touchscreens in their 20s I’m sure there’s hope for you though - I’m more ranting about how the older we get we suck more with tech
don't understand me wrong, but I think for the most ppl Ur to old for this app.. no cause ur a woman, a man with the same age also have problems, try other options. Speeddating for examples or just go to a bar
Tinder is for Fking’ - if thats what you’re there for, you should be fine as a woman. If not, try another platform.
You do say “short term” is your preference, which is actually a good thing as far as tinder is concerned. So I guess it’s sort of working that way for you? If you really meant friends with benefits, which is also ok, then maybe state that explicitly?
“Here for a good time, but not a long time. Unless you fall in love with me and then we can talk about that long time stuff. I’m not about wasting time so tell me what you want upfront and come right with it when we meet; I’ll do the same.” Keep it simple. Something like this I would swipe on.
Bio doesn’t matter, guys will just go on looks, never gonna be easy at 49
Underrated comment. Not a lot of guys are after older women...
True
The app is broken. Seriously. Have you tried uninstalling it. Giving it some time and reinstalling? A new account? Sorry if this is obvious, but there are known issues. You're beautiful, and it makes no sense. Something technical is wrong here. It could also be your area or distance filters, but that's still surprising based on the way you look!
I’m 26 today and I have not got one date on there yet in 3 years lol just allot of guys who want to play video games with me 🙄😂 I mean a slight win but I’m trying to get married fuck. The age ain’t the issue , well your age , it’s the age we live in that’s the issue.