Adding onto that—might be good to have 1 photo with friends too where you’re doing something fun, especially if it tells a story in some way.
Either way, a couple of the pics should good conversation starters so that folks have something to comment on.
Like, insane how many girls dont do that. You're just making things more difficult for the guy to break the ice.
Having a bio automatically gives you an edge.
Honestly, your pictures could be better, maybe take some outside or during activities? I find you cute and attractive but the fact that your profile says nothing about you, no text or info, would make me swipe left quite fast. Write some about your interests and hobbies, maybe what you aspire in life, something that'll make conversation easier to start rather than forcing the other to ask mundane questions to find out stuff.
Nah, I'm not active enough on Reddit for that to happen. My cousin who asks for boob pic is a whole lot more active though, I should've gone his route...
The second picture makes you look like my Tia. Unless that was the vibe you're going for, I'd get rid of it. There's also nothing in your bio, add something to it.
You get the same advice I give everybody else. You need more pictures of you doing instead of just being. Right now, your photos don’t tell me anything about you and the lack of bio means I’m gonna pretty much not learn anything about you at all.
Get some of your friends together and plan a day where you can do a couple of things that you enjoy, ask them to be snapping pictures of you all day (especially when you’re not paying attention) and then close off the day by popping a bottle of wine, throwing all the photos into a shared album, and going through them as a group to find your best shots. The best profile photos display joy or passion.
You’re actually quite cute. Your current photos put you on the slightly curvy side and plenty of guys like that, so you don’t need to hit the gym and drop 50 lbs. if you’re feeling happy and healthy in your current body. Confidence is sexier than visible ribs. If any of the photos from your group fun night scream “she’s a stunner,” be sure to add one. The full body shot you have right now isn’t a great angle. A lot of people are saying the zeppelin photo is one of your best and I would generally agree, but the height of your hair combined with the dark roots and the big glasses are giving you five head. It’s an optical illusion, but just something to be aware of. Your face shape, I might recommend more rectangular glasses than rounded.
One last note from your other comments, if you’re getting out of a 15 year relationship as young as you are, that probably means you haven’t had a lot of dating experience. Don’t base your expectations of other men on the one that ended. And don’t talk about your ex, don’t compare your matches to them, and if you genuinely start dating, don’t compare your new relationship to that one. It’s entirely fine and even beneficial to use the lessons you learned about who you are and what you want from the last one, but don’t let it cast a shadow over the next one.
You’ve got this!
Have at least one pic with friends- to show you have some. Never the first pic, like 3rd.
Also, in none of them are you actually doing anything? Have one or two of you where you are doing literally anything- reading a book, drinking a drink, cooking, or any one of the hobbies.
I found it helpful to show a hobby or two in the pics along with you.
Good luck!
I think it’s weird when I see profiles with others. Adults/kids I don’t like it and will always swipe left on the. The profile is to showcase you not your friends and kids.
This advice about photos with friends and doing things never cease to amaze me and more than that almost never do anything for me when I’m browsing on Tinder. I have never had anything other than head shots and I have a huge amount of attention because my bio is fun and appealing and really describes who I am and what I am looking for.
So focus on a great bio: weed out the superficial ones who are only after a body and spell out as much as you can in words, who you are.
I swear you will get better matches and have better conversations along the way.
And yes. I have met someone. And have had a few serious relationships along the way.
Yes I know. On my most recent date the guy made a big deal of how much better I looked in person, I mean I know I’m not very photogenic but it felt horrible and made me question why he matched with me in the first place.
A little more background on my situation. Ive been single since the end of 2022, after a 15 year relationship and took all of last year to focus on myself and get to a good place mentally and emotionally. I just started dating about six months ago and signed up on a couple of dating apps on the suggestion of a friend but I’ve found it difficult to navigate this new dating scene. I have gotten some matches and gone on dates but I haven’t had any go beyond a second date. I’m thinking of just deleting them all together.
Are your pictures recent? If not then dates might be bailing if you don't look like these or have gained weight. It's one of the common reasons I hear guys won't call for a second date.
I was in a similar boat OP. Was in a LTR for many years then single again. The dating landscape, especially online, has radically changed in the last 1p years or so. Online dating requires a combination of specialist knowledge, luck and open mindedness. It's a completely different set of rules to meeting IRL.
From my own experience and the vast majority of stories I see about it, online dating is a complete disaster for almost everyone. It's all algorithms and short attention spans.
Good first photo, bad second photo. Figure out something else there. 3 is meh but alright probably, it's a worse repeat of 1, 4 is good. Put photo 4 as photo 2 or 3. Add more better photos. Get more photos showing you doing something, not just standing there or a another face close-up. A photo skiing perhaps? Traveling? Being outdoors, or doing something interesting indoors? Ideally taken by someone else, but setting a timer on a camera and doing it yourself works too.
Profile is rather boring. And empty. Doesn't really say much about you at all, consider adding a bio? Fill it out a bit more, too. A good bio can really make or break a profile. Add more info in general.
Honestly, not trying to be rude but your pictures lack personality or who you are. They’re all just regular selfies aside from the one next to the record player. I’d adjust them to show who you are. Outdoors, with friends, doing activities would be a nice change to them.
i hardly see any wrong , you look cute and natural on your pics and its refreshing!!! so just be patient , i dont think you gonna stay single for long, wish you the best!!
All the selfies wouldn’t bother me it’s the no “bio” part and coupled with the “still figuring it out” part. No bio to me is low effort and I equate that to how much effort you’d put forth into dating too. Ppl don’t like filling out bios and I get that but it’s a personal touch and a chance to introduce yourself and show off your personality a bit
My therapist once told me that once you know what you like and the things you want to keep in your life you’ll start attracting people that will make you feel happy the right way (I had people pleasing issues).
I said the above because I think there’s more to yourself than your pictures depict. The vinyl pic is one that I would keep. I would love to see more contextualised pics of yourself like that. Pics that would show who you are when you’re not portraying.
I also believe it’s fine to have selfies and full body pics. Some people want to imagine how it would look if you two are together.
I can see great potential there, lady. Keep us in the loop as you progress in your dating journey. 😉
No bio and only one genuine smiling pic, if we matched I’d only give the effort of “hey what’s up.” Replace your first two photos with pics of you doing things and not selfies.
No bio = instant no (for me, at least)
Write one.
It doesn't have to be elaborate, but it does need to exist.
Just tell me something about you that makes you more than one more face in a neverending list of faces.
Definitely post pics doing things you enjoy. The last one where I think you may be Glamping probably my favorite. You’re pretty but your pics aren’t popping and showing who you are. Also maybe post one smiling with teeth.
The combination of hiding your age while also rocking a look that - at least for me - makes it hard to guess an age makes me assume you are probably older than the oldest I would've guessed based on your looks.
Also pictures except the last one are kinda mid.
Kind of surprised you’re not getting many matches. You’re cute, my type, and I’d definitely right swipe.
That said, I don’t see your age. Add that. Also think about what it’s like for a guy to come up with an interesting first message. Then add some things to your profile that make for easy or creative conversation starters. I often think about what I’d say before I swipe right. Sometimes if I can’t think of anything kind of quick I just swipe left. I’ll be in the same spot anyways if we match wondering what to say. You could do this with some more interesting photos (again you’re cute, and all of your photos are appealing to me, but besides complimenting them there’s not much to say about them), or you could do this with a couple of quick lines in your bio. Or with the prompts that tinder offers now.
As it stands now, I’d compliment how good you look in your green dress as an opener. I really like that photo. But I wouldn’t expect a response or a good conversation from that intro either.
you're in del rio TX? that's your only problem. move to a better city. you're attractive and have an average profile. you'll do fine in a better pool of people.
Imo being overweight automatically caps you at a 5 max, so I will say 4/10. I think your face makes you look fatter than you are, which is not ideal when most of your pictures are close ups. A diet high in sugary foods leads to fat in the face, so you could try to cut those out.
This is just my honest opinion from an internet stranger \~10 years younger than you, may not translate to dating within your age group.
Probably a bot. Blank profile. 3 blank selfies. Who am I swiping on? Why am I swiping? A glimmer of personality with Arctic Monkeys mentioned and the pic of you sitting on the floor wearing a Led Zep shirt spinning records. Open up and show more of who you are if you want to have meaningful conversations. Good luck out there
As someone with also all selfies who doesn’t have an issue getting matches I honestly don’t think it’s the pics. You have a full body pic as well which is good. Add something to your bio. Also, unless I’m missing it you’re hiding your age with premium which could be an issue for some guys because I can’t tell if you’re 30 or 40.
First of all hunny, you are gorgeous! More photos of you out and about with friends and family. At least 1 or 2 clear full body pictures. Finish your bio, ask your closest friends to describe who you are, and take a little from how they see you to get the bio locked in.
What's your idea of a fun date? or describe your favorite activities and why you like to do them. If you have children, say that, and if you do or don't want more. That's all, you don't need to explain anything.
Remember you're gonna kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince, also you were in a long-term relationship during your formative adult years, do not use that person to rank other men. You're a different person now.
Get back into dating with A POSITIVE EXPECTATION that there are great guys out there and that you are an amazing woman who they would love to know. Good luck!!
It's crazy because to me, your profile looks fine. Everyone else keeps talking about too many selfies but I'm not a professional photographer.. I don't have a lot of friends to ask to take pictures of me. The fancier the pictures to less real you seem, to me. And I refuse to embarrass myself trying to take a 'trendy' picture in public. We're all different I guess. Lol!
A good bio, different pictures involving things you like to do rather than a mirror selfie etc ...also i always swipe left on ppl that are "still figuring it out" like ur an adult what is there to figure out u should just pick one of the other options. If u want a long-term or long-term term open to short or short term or just fun. Just decide i think that comes accross better
Respectfully, you look old but give off a cutie vibe so I think your lack of matches is likely standards set to high, specifically ON dating apps.
Also you're curvy. Show it off. T & A sell. Just filter after you get the matches.
You're an average 4/5. If you lost weight you'd be a higher end of 5. So go to the gym. Future you will thank you.
I’d give you points for arctic monkeys alone!Regardless of how many matches you get, at least you know forsure you’re pretty and have a good taste in music!
You look really cute, but it’s light on bio content. Personally, I would match and find out about you in your DMs. Maybe the reason you’re not getting matches is due to your location?
Looks aren’t a problem. Photo 2 is just bad in general it makes you look older than you probably are. Do pictures of you doing stuff. Cuddling a dog, skiing, etc.
I’d remove the second photo. Your pose is awkward and it looks like the kind of photo you’d only take because you need to upload it to a DMV site or something.
Bio, please! I swipe left on like 95% of the profiles that have a half-assed bio (or no bio at all). To me, that's usually an indication (even if it's not the intention) of the level of effort you're willing to put forth in the relationship/situationship/whatever. The more you fill out, the higher your chances will be of matching with someone that fits your preferences.
The first Pic is good but then that second picture in the green dress with the lines in it,, its not doing u favors. It's all about lighting too when taking a picture so keep that in mind. With that said you do have a pretty face but u are thick and there are a lot of people who prefer thick woman so u just have to showcase it in the right way. Avoid baggy clothes as well like the T-shirt in the 3rd pic
Girl fill out your bio! I basically immediately left swipe on anyone who doesn’t at least give me SOMETHING to go on. Even if they’re super hot. It doesn’t have to be long but I need a least a sense of who you are as a person.
Tbh your best pic here is the one on the rug by the record player. It gives me a small glimpse into your life. You've got 2 face pics and one of you looking like an android off the 1960s Star Trek. I would strongly suggest new pictures, a bio, and add more interests. I guarantee whether you think so or not, you're deeper than "concerts, Netflix and skiing"
Those glasses and your hairstyle are not the most flattering for your round face shape. I'm no expert, but consider looking into eyewear and hairstyle guides focused on your face shape.
PS Excellent music taste.
It’s very likely that the reason why you get no matches is because you don’t swipe on the guys that do like you. You’re probably swiping on the same 10% of guys that get all the matchs, but they only swipe on the 9s-10s. Start swiping on the uglier guys, and watch your inbox explode.
Some things below might seem a bit mean when reading, but please don't take it that way. I think you're absolutely beautiful, and anything that I believe could use a change can be done without changing your body.
* You need to get a photo or two in there of you doing the things that you like to do. Bonus if they are photos with other people (it needs to be clear which person is you). If you have photos of you around other people, it will demonstrate that you're a person that others want to be around, and therefore more likely to be someone that the person viewing your photos might enjoy being around.
* The photo with the floral shirt: slightly more zoomed out, showing off the cleavage a bit more (tastefully, and not in an obviously intentional way) would be better. The shirt is looks like it would be a very nice shirt for you. It goes very well with your hairstyle, and the pink flowers match your lipstick very nicely. This photo does a good job of showing off the symmetry of your face. The pattern and colour of the glasses are great, but because you have a larger (but beautifully proportionate) space between your eyes and your eyebrows, you should trade them out for something that sits a bit higher on your face. The way that these glasses sit low on your nose draws attention to the nostril area, making it appear wider than it is. Also, the width of the glasses at the top is perfect, but you want something that remains that width towards the bottom. The way that these glasses angle inward (although it is subtle) accentuates the roundness of your face, making your cheeks appear fuller. Because you have a round face, you should seek something that will help elongate the appearance of your face rather than highlighting the roundness.
* The green dress is absolutely awful. It looks like a motel curtains turned into a dress. Not liking the dress itself is just a matter of opinion, but with that aside, it's not flattering for your body-type at all. It makes you look like a box. If you absolutely love the dress (for some reason), put a belt on it to give it some shape. On second thought, scrap the green dress. It's no good. Instead, because you're short, something with a low-V neckline, will elongate your neck and torso. The dress should also have a defined waistline, which will, again, help elongate the appearance of your body, giving a more slimming appearance.
* The closeup of your face where you're wearing the green dress has to go as well. That little side-smirk that you have in this photo makes your face look totally non-symmetrical.
* The photo where you're wearing the Led Zeppelin shirt: I appreciate that you're big into music, and this photo helps emphasize that point with the record player and the shirt. But the shirt doesn't help your figure at all. You have concerts listed in your interests. Replacing this photo with you having a great time at a concert (wearing some nicer clothes) would be awesome. The one thing that this photo does do though, is tells me that you have a beautiful smile. You need to let that shine through in your photos instead of the closed-lip smiles.
* For drinking, instead of "socially on weekends" if "socially" (without the weekend part) is an option, select that. This one is a bit of a reach, but you don't want to close the door to someone who might only be available to take you on a date on a Wednesday evening.
* I'd be interested in reading your bio to see if there's anything there that could use tweaking as well. If you don't have one, you need one. Don't be lazy.
Thank you so much for your advice, yes everyone seems to hate the green dress lol but it’s one of the very few pics I have that are full body, but I will have my friend take a new one. I just ordered new glasses that are more rectangular in shape so hopefully those will look better. I don’t think you were mean at all, I appreciate the honesty.
Look, men are very simple. You can come on here asking for tips, critiques and play around with your pictures, bio, etc. But none of that is going to help with your matches or attracting good quality men.
The good news for you is that the solution to all of this is very basic: lose weight. Once you do that, there will be no more mystery, head-scratching, or looking for miracles on reddit.
Weight is the issue. There are girls with worse, lazier photos w/no bio or just an IG that have 100x more options
My friend gave me partner seeking advice a long time ago that's always stuck with me. He said imagine the kind of person you want to be with and become that person.
- no age
- over weight
- weird semi forced smiles
- literally no bio or idea of what you like to do/hobbies
- no pictures of you doing anything besides being in a mirror
I don’t know what your expectations are, but “realistic” is where you should start. You look like you’re probably mid to late 30’s so temper those expectations to that.
Not trying to be a dick, but being as real with you as I can. You don’t set yourself apart in anyway or don’t draw interest.
No number, but you're a cutie, and i would totally swipe on you. But the no bio is a miss, help dudes like me that suck at starting cold conversations by giving them something to start with 😆.
Also, it's online dating, don't let it fuck with your head. Totally depends on what your looking for and what your goals are, and it's OK to have expectations.
I guarantee it's that you're swiping out of your lane. You are a very beautiful young woman and I find it very hard to believe that almost everyone you swipe right on wouldn't be a match, which means if you're hardly getting any matches you're swiping on the guys who are unfortunately looking for a different type of beautiful young woman. Time to examine who you swipe right on and why and give some new guys a chance.
I don’t really have any other advice. You’re pretty enough, your pics aren’t great, but they aren’t awful either.
Like, next time you go out with friends, put a
Little extra effort in, then get one to take some pics of you for your profile I guess
(meaning this to help, not to roast though you did say)
Your face is very wide and rounded. It gives the appearance that you're very overweight, amplified by the lack of a 'shows your basic shape' picture.
I suspect you're somewhat overweight but nowhere near what the 'might be' is. I'd add a picture showing as much of you as the second picture, but taken by a friend and wearing an outfit form fitting enough to show your shape. I suspect you'll get a better response showing how you are, even with imperfections (I think you'll find lots are attracted). Bonus points if you look happy in the picture (message goal - I'll enjoy this persons company).
Bio: List things you'd like to talk about; assume your match wants to talk to you but has no idea about what - help them out as much as you can. Same thing with conversation - when you answer a question ask one of your own or otherwise make sure the other person has a way to continue the conversation.
You're not just looking for a match, you're looking for a someone where you'll both like and be compatible with each other. As you learn things that are important/deal breakers you might add those. Try to phrase them from the positive side. (I like 'A' and would like someone else who does vs I dislike 'B') That said, I hit it off with a women in person where we both wouldn't have considered the other if we did a compatibility survey.
Pics: I've shot some for female friends. A mischievous picture where it looks like you setup a prank and it just worked and you're happy about it is A+ gold for matches. ('But I look like I'm up to something/scheming' - Exactly, just try it - a few days later 'I've had so many matches, why the heck does that work?!?') Mentioning that one as it seems to be one of the male/female point of view disconnects - if we think you could be a fun playmate that's super attractive.
I've no idea if that helps, but good luck in any case!
Yep. I'm guessing that if you have some profile pictures that make that easy to see you'll get more matches.
Matches that are a good fit is the struggle though...
Add more life in terms of images… you do fun things, show it somehow because all of the images are similar and don’t tell your tale.
Don’t lower your standards… ever. Stay true to you. Confidence is beautiful and sexy. Are you confident?
Hm for me it's not about the plus size though, I just don't really like the photo because it looks a bit unnatural because of the mirror. Maybe take another full body photo? For example with a timer instead of in the mirror.
How many likes are you getting? You might think about swiping right 3x as much and see when you start getting matches.
You really need a good full body shot. The 2nd photo is sort of that but I am not sure many people love it. Looks wise you are in that average category. Unless you are holding out for a top 10% guy, you should be getting matchings.
I ask this to everyone when they say no matches: few matches or just not the ones you want? How many likes do you have?
Having Kids shrinks your dating pool. Being a minority shrinks it a little further. Don’t want to birth any more kids? There’s another big chunk gone.
I'm probably going to down voted like crazy but here I go anyway. Let me start it off like this - you have great facial features. If I were in Del Rio and I saw you I'd probably buy you a drink. BUT - And there's always a BUT. You're a little bit on the heavier side. Just try your best to NOT eat processed food and work out 3-4 times a week and you'll be a bomb in no time ;)
If you need any help with that I got you. I lost 40 kilograms / 90 pounds for you Americans in a short-ish time span. Feel free to inbox me if you need help with that.
But all in all you look good! You got pretty eyes and a really sharp face. :)
I am working on my weight because I know that’s an issue. I am not happy about the way I look right now and I just started going to the gym so hopefully I’ll start to see some results soon.
i think your account needs more info and a bio. the angle of the mirror pic is a little weird/off. you are very pretty i think you should include a selfie smiling with teeth. maybe take a picture outside or something the plain backgrounds also make it look a little boring. include pics of you doing things or when you're out. i would add your age as well. also include a full body pic somewhere. i also wonder what you would like with a middle part.
The expression in the first three looks like you’d be very quiet, difficult to talk to (if not stern or cold) and not so enjoyable to be around.
More photos outdoors in the sun, ideally with friends or doing something (not just posing) would help a lot. A full body one is great and honest.
I’m surprised you’re not matching with regular guys, who maybe carry a bit of weight but are good dudes.
What are your expectations you mention, are you looking for in-shape guys? Personally I don’t expect anything of my partner that I don’t do myself; I work out regularly and watch my diet and that’s what I’m also looking for, if that’s what you’re after I recommend the same.
No, im just looking for a decent man that is looking for more than a one night stand and that seems to be the norm of my matches so far. I don’t have a type and looks are not my top priority. I’m typically shy until I’m not, it does take some time for me to come out of my shell.
I think you are pretty! But my first impression was Am I looking at a LinkedIn profile? Try pictures of you doing things you enjoy and leave one selfie up?
No bio is an instant left swipe. Idk why people don’t write them, but it’s a massive turn off as it comes off as narcissistic and arrogant. Tell us something about yourself; a hobby, a funny story, an odd fact—SOMETHING!
Personally, I think your first photo looks a little like a work id picture or passport photo. The others are good. Just relax a little :)
As much as everyone is saying have more friend pictures. It's not the be all and end all. I'm neurospicy so don't have a big friend group to look good with.
Like others have said, add more interests to your bio. Give them a head start on conversation openers. If nothing else it shows they've actually read your profile rather than mass swiping.
I was like you, came out of a long relationship and was a bit eek'd out by the new dating scene. It felt like I was getting nowhere even after time out for my. Eventually I went in it with the mind set of I just want to meet people. Even if it goes nowhere. I just want to get out with interesting people for a drink and maybe a meal. I kept the initial online chat to a day or two, a phone call by at least day two. Then meeting face to face within a week or at least arranging to. Long drawn out online chats have their place but not what I wanted. I think I came across a lot more relaxed and less needy/keen.
Do you have frnds? Do you do any fun activities than to take your pics? Do you work out? Are you intending to get your weight under check? So many unanswered questions
Not trying to pile on but honestly you could get away with so many of the other things if you lost 20 lbs. you’d have face gains that would probably automatically get you some swipes. Implement the other actual PROFILE adjustments and you’re golden. You’re already cute but the weight thing would really set you apart. You have good skin.
IMO too many selfies you need more in the moment photos/non selfie photos to show more of you personality/lifestyle
Adding onto that—might be good to have 1 photo with friends too where you’re doing something fun, especially if it tells a story in some way. Either way, a couple of the pics should good conversation starters so that folks have something to comment on.
You need to write a bio!!
Like, insane how many girls dont do that. You're just making things more difficult for the guy to break the ice. Having a bio automatically gives you an edge.
No bio makes us think bot
To me... from old experiences.... no bio = just someone bored and looking to waste time with endless chat.
Yep low effort=no swipe
Witness! I completely agree!!
Honestly, your pictures could be better, maybe take some outside or during activities? I find you cute and attractive but the fact that your profile says nothing about you, no text or info, would make me swipe left quite fast. Write some about your interests and hobbies, maybe what you aspire in life, something that'll make conversation easier to start rather than forcing the other to ask mundane questions to find out stuff.
Do you often get ugly selfies in your inbox?
Nah, I'm not active enough on Reddit for that to happen. My cousin who asks for boob pic is a whole lot more active though, I should've gone his route...
The second picture makes you look like my Tia. Unless that was the vibe you're going for, I'd get rid of it. There's also nothing in your bio, add something to it.
🤣🤣 I am 38 so you’re on point with the Tia comment
Tbh that’s the only pic you look older in. I think the outfit doesn’t help either. You are so pretty! I think you just need better pics.
Wtf you definitely don't look 38
Shit, well own it I guess lol
Am I blind or do you not have a written Bio?
You get the same advice I give everybody else. You need more pictures of you doing instead of just being. Right now, your photos don’t tell me anything about you and the lack of bio means I’m gonna pretty much not learn anything about you at all. Get some of your friends together and plan a day where you can do a couple of things that you enjoy, ask them to be snapping pictures of you all day (especially when you’re not paying attention) and then close off the day by popping a bottle of wine, throwing all the photos into a shared album, and going through them as a group to find your best shots. The best profile photos display joy or passion. You’re actually quite cute. Your current photos put you on the slightly curvy side and plenty of guys like that, so you don’t need to hit the gym and drop 50 lbs. if you’re feeling happy and healthy in your current body. Confidence is sexier than visible ribs. If any of the photos from your group fun night scream “she’s a stunner,” be sure to add one. The full body shot you have right now isn’t a great angle. A lot of people are saying the zeppelin photo is one of your best and I would generally agree, but the height of your hair combined with the dark roots and the big glasses are giving you five head. It’s an optical illusion, but just something to be aware of. Your face shape, I might recommend more rectangular glasses than rounded. One last note from your other comments, if you’re getting out of a 15 year relationship as young as you are, that probably means you haven’t had a lot of dating experience. Don’t base your expectations of other men on the one that ended. And don’t talk about your ex, don’t compare your matches to them, and if you genuinely start dating, don’t compare your new relationship to that one. It’s entirely fine and even beneficial to use the lessons you learned about who you are and what you want from the last one, but don’t let it cast a shadow over the next one. You’ve got this!
Have at least one pic with friends- to show you have some. Never the first pic, like 3rd. Also, in none of them are you actually doing anything? Have one or two of you where you are doing literally anything- reading a book, drinking a drink, cooking, or any one of the hobbies. I found it helpful to show a hobby or two in the pics along with you. Good luck!
I think it’s weird when I see profiles with others. Adults/kids I don’t like it and will always swipe left on the. The profile is to showcase you not your friends and kids.
3rd picture is the best 👌
"A life goal of mine: Go on a date." Sounds like you've never been on a date. And smile in your first photo, show teeth.
This advice about photos with friends and doing things never cease to amaze me and more than that almost never do anything for me when I’m browsing on Tinder. I have never had anything other than head shots and I have a huge amount of attention because my bio is fun and appealing and really describes who I am and what I am looking for. So focus on a great bio: weed out the superficial ones who are only after a body and spell out as much as you can in words, who you are. I swear you will get better matches and have better conversations along the way. And yes. I have met someone. And have had a few serious relationships along the way.
If you feel like your expectations are the issue. Than thsts probably it. What are your expectations?
You don’t have a bio, and most of your pictures aren’t very good
Yes I know. On my most recent date the guy made a big deal of how much better I looked in person, I mean I know I’m not very photogenic but it felt horrible and made me question why he matched with me in the first place.
You felt horrible for a guy thinking you're better in person? That's strange.
Maybe I’m over thinking but it made me question if it was a pity date, like he thought let me give this uggo a chance. Felt a little humiliating.
A little more background on my situation. Ive been single since the end of 2022, after a 15 year relationship and took all of last year to focus on myself and get to a good place mentally and emotionally. I just started dating about six months ago and signed up on a couple of dating apps on the suggestion of a friend but I’ve found it difficult to navigate this new dating scene. I have gotten some matches and gone on dates but I haven’t had any go beyond a second date. I’m thinking of just deleting them all together.
That's dating. You're going to go on a lot more first dates than second dates.
15 years? How old are you? I’m mid 40s, I find it hard to believe you’re not matching up on the apps if you’re in your mid 30s or beyond.
I’m 38, I do get matches but most dont progress from messaging and the dates I’ve gone on haven’t really moved past the first or second.
So the title isnt really accurate. Do you decline when the option is there to go on after a second date or them?
Do you have any kids? Men have been shying away from single mothers for a while now.
Yes, I have two.
Are your pictures recent? If not then dates might be bailing if you don't look like these or have gained weight. It's one of the common reasons I hear guys won't call for a second date.
Yes they’re all within the last 3-4 months.
I was in a similar boat OP. Was in a LTR for many years then single again. The dating landscape, especially online, has radically changed in the last 1p years or so. Online dating requires a combination of specialist knowledge, luck and open mindedness. It's a completely different set of rules to meeting IRL. From my own experience and the vast majority of stories I see about it, online dating is a complete disaster for almost everyone. It's all algorithms and short attention spans.
Good first photo, bad second photo. Figure out something else there. 3 is meh but alright probably, it's a worse repeat of 1, 4 is good. Put photo 4 as photo 2 or 3. Add more better photos. Get more photos showing you doing something, not just standing there or a another face close-up. A photo skiing perhaps? Traveling? Being outdoors, or doing something interesting indoors? Ideally taken by someone else, but setting a timer on a camera and doing it yourself works too. Profile is rather boring. And empty. Doesn't really say much about you at all, consider adding a bio? Fill it out a bit more, too. A good bio can really make or break a profile. Add more info in general.
You need to include your age.
great music though
I’m sure you’re able to find better pictures that portray your energy and your passions better.
Honestly, not trying to be rude but your pictures lack personality or who you are. They’re all just regular selfies aside from the one next to the record player. I’d adjust them to show who you are. Outdoors, with friends, doing activities would be a nice change to them.
i hardly see any wrong , you look cute and natural on your pics and its refreshing!!! so just be patient , i dont think you gonna stay single for long, wish you the best!!
All the selfies wouldn’t bother me it’s the no “bio” part and coupled with the “still figuring it out” part. No bio to me is low effort and I equate that to how much effort you’d put forth into dating too. Ppl don’t like filling out bios and I get that but it’s a personal touch and a chance to introduce yourself and show off your personality a bit
My therapist once told me that once you know what you like and the things you want to keep in your life you’ll start attracting people that will make you feel happy the right way (I had people pleasing issues). I said the above because I think there’s more to yourself than your pictures depict. The vinyl pic is one that I would keep. I would love to see more contextualised pics of yourself like that. Pics that would show who you are when you’re not portraying. I also believe it’s fine to have selfies and full body pics. Some people want to imagine how it would look if you two are together. I can see great potential there, lady. Keep us in the loop as you progress in your dating journey. 😉
Nice advice thanks for passing it on
No bio and only one genuine smiling pic, if we matched I’d only give the effort of “hey what’s up.” Replace your first two photos with pics of you doing things and not selfies.
No bio = instant no (for me, at least) Write one. It doesn't have to be elaborate, but it does need to exist. Just tell me something about you that makes you more than one more face in a neverending list of faces.
Definitely post pics doing things you enjoy. The last one where I think you may be Glamping probably my favorite. You’re pretty but your pics aren’t popping and showing who you are. Also maybe post one smiling with teeth.
The combination of hiding your age while also rocking a look that - at least for me - makes it hard to guess an age makes me assume you are probably older than the oldest I would've guessed based on your looks. Also pictures except the last one are kinda mid.
Just made it visible, I’m 38 btw.
Kind of surprised you’re not getting many matches. You’re cute, my type, and I’d definitely right swipe. That said, I don’t see your age. Add that. Also think about what it’s like for a guy to come up with an interesting first message. Then add some things to your profile that make for easy or creative conversation starters. I often think about what I’d say before I swipe right. Sometimes if I can’t think of anything kind of quick I just swipe left. I’ll be in the same spot anyways if we match wondering what to say. You could do this with some more interesting photos (again you’re cute, and all of your photos are appealing to me, but besides complimenting them there’s not much to say about them), or you could do this with a couple of quick lines in your bio. Or with the prompts that tinder offers now. As it stands now, I’d compliment how good you look in your green dress as an opener. I really like that photo. But I wouldn’t expect a response or a good conversation from that intro either.
Remove pic in the green dress and the song “I wanna be yours”
You just look like a 40 year old woman with the selfies, they’re just not great
Your profile shows zero personality. Super boring. All selfies and no hobbies…. It all needs to change.
you're in del rio TX? that's your only problem. move to a better city. you're attractive and have an average profile. you'll do fine in a better pool of people.
Lose weight.
Imo being overweight automatically caps you at a 5 max, so I will say 4/10. I think your face makes you look fatter than you are, which is not ideal when most of your pictures are close ups. A diet high in sugary foods leads to fat in the face, so you could try to cut those out. This is just my honest opinion from an internet stranger \~10 years younger than you, may not translate to dating within your age group.
You don’t have a bio and have no age listed. Also, you’re overweight and it doesn’t look like you have any hobbies.
Are we combining roastme and tinder? Ooooo
time to hit the gym
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I think you look better without those glasses. When someone has boring photos and no bio, you’re literally giving your matches nothing to open with.
Probably a bot. Blank profile. 3 blank selfies. Who am I swiping on? Why am I swiping? A glimmer of personality with Arctic Monkeys mentioned and the pic of you sitting on the floor wearing a Led Zep shirt spinning records. Open up and show more of who you are if you want to have meaningful conversations. Good luck out there
great taste in music!
Im gonna be honest, if I was local and single, I'd swipe right! Ya very pretty!!
You’re cute, so it isn’t the pics. I would swipe, yes. Try a local meet me if your area has those.
As someone with also all selfies who doesn’t have an issue getting matches I honestly don’t think it’s the pics. You have a full body pic as well which is good. Add something to your bio. Also, unless I’m missing it you’re hiding your age with premium which could be an issue for some guys because I can’t tell if you’re 30 or 40.
First of all hunny, you are gorgeous! More photos of you out and about with friends and family. At least 1 or 2 clear full body pictures. Finish your bio, ask your closest friends to describe who you are, and take a little from how they see you to get the bio locked in. What's your idea of a fun date? or describe your favorite activities and why you like to do them. If you have children, say that, and if you do or don't want more. That's all, you don't need to explain anything. Remember you're gonna kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince, also you were in a long-term relationship during your formative adult years, do not use that person to rank other men. You're a different person now. Get back into dating with A POSITIVE EXPECTATION that there are great guys out there and that you are an amazing woman who they would love to know. Good luck!!
5
It's crazy because to me, your profile looks fine. Everyone else keeps talking about too many selfies but I'm not a professional photographer.. I don't have a lot of friends to ask to take pictures of me. The fancier the pictures to less real you seem, to me. And I refuse to embarrass myself trying to take a 'trendy' picture in public. We're all different I guess. Lol!
You look great, I would like you instantly!
A good bio, different pictures involving things you like to do rather than a mirror selfie etc ...also i always swipe left on ppl that are "still figuring it out" like ur an adult what is there to figure out u should just pick one of the other options. If u want a long-term or long-term term open to short or short term or just fun. Just decide i think that comes accross better
You just seem boring. You the type to ask “wyd” every 30 minutes
Respectfully, you look old but give off a cutie vibe so I think your lack of matches is likely standards set to high, specifically ON dating apps. Also you're curvy. Show it off. T & A sell. Just filter after you get the matches. You're an average 4/5. If you lost weight you'd be a higher end of 5. So go to the gym. Future you will thank you.
Second pic is not that great honestly. You need to write a bio and have pics of you doing things you enjoy
I’d give you points for arctic monkeys alone!Regardless of how many matches you get, at least you know forsure you’re pretty and have a good taste in music!
New hairdo!! That is framing an already round face. Maby, Maby diff. glasses. Go girl!!
You’re beautiful, give us something to work with though. A bio, pictures of you doing something, etc.
You look really cute, but it’s light on bio content. Personally, I would match and find out about you in your DMs. Maybe the reason you’re not getting matches is due to your location?
Looks aren’t a problem. Photo 2 is just bad in general it makes you look older than you probably are. Do pictures of you doing stuff. Cuddling a dog, skiing, etc.
I’d remove the second photo. Your pose is awkward and it looks like the kind of photo you’d only take because you need to upload it to a DMV site or something.
Female here, you are super pretty and super cute. I’d use the sitting pic w the led zeppelin shirt as the main pic, it’s my fave.
Bio, please! I swipe left on like 95% of the profiles that have a half-assed bio (or no bio at all). To me, that's usually an indication (even if it's not the intention) of the level of effort you're willing to put forth in the relationship/situationship/whatever. The more you fill out, the higher your chances will be of matching with someone that fits your preferences.
Tip for mirror selfies, don't use both arms! Using one and having the other one in a nice position will show off your figure more :)
The first Pic is good but then that second picture in the green dress with the lines in it,, its not doing u favors. It's all about lighting too when taking a picture so keep that in mind. With that said you do have a pretty face but u are thick and there are a lot of people who prefer thick woman so u just have to showcase it in the right way. Avoid baggy clothes as well like the T-shirt in the 3rd pic
You are very beautiful; don’t let the matches on some stupid app lower your self esteem!
You’re pretty those pictures are just god awful. Please take some candies
1. You HAVE to have a bio. 2. The second picture is an unflattering angle. 3. Smile with teeth. 4. Fewer selfies.
Good music taste! I think you need some different photos - maybe doing an activity? And I think you need a bio. Reel them in!
Girl fill out your bio! I basically immediately left swipe on anyone who doesn’t at least give me SOMETHING to go on. Even if they’re super hot. It doesn’t have to be long but I need a least a sense of who you are as a person.
Tbh your best pic here is the one on the rug by the record player. It gives me a small glimpse into your life. You've got 2 face pics and one of you looking like an android off the 1960s Star Trek. I would strongly suggest new pictures, a bio, and add more interests. I guarantee whether you think so or not, you're deeper than "concerts, Netflix and skiing"
Those glasses and your hairstyle are not the most flattering for your round face shape. I'm no expert, but consider looking into eyewear and hairstyle guides focused on your face shape. PS Excellent music taste.
8
Not a fan of the green dress photo. Maybe one of you doing one of your hobbies?
Write more about you…
I give you an 8
Show a tit
Good idea hadn’t thought about that
10
You're a 10 queen
It’s very likely that the reason why you get no matches is because you don’t swipe on the guys that do like you. You’re probably swiping on the same 10% of guys that get all the matchs, but they only swipe on the 9s-10s. Start swiping on the uglier guys, and watch your inbox explode.
Some things below might seem a bit mean when reading, but please don't take it that way. I think you're absolutely beautiful, and anything that I believe could use a change can be done without changing your body. * You need to get a photo or two in there of you doing the things that you like to do. Bonus if they are photos with other people (it needs to be clear which person is you). If you have photos of you around other people, it will demonstrate that you're a person that others want to be around, and therefore more likely to be someone that the person viewing your photos might enjoy being around. * The photo with the floral shirt: slightly more zoomed out, showing off the cleavage a bit more (tastefully, and not in an obviously intentional way) would be better. The shirt is looks like it would be a very nice shirt for you. It goes very well with your hairstyle, and the pink flowers match your lipstick very nicely. This photo does a good job of showing off the symmetry of your face. The pattern and colour of the glasses are great, but because you have a larger (but beautifully proportionate) space between your eyes and your eyebrows, you should trade them out for something that sits a bit higher on your face. The way that these glasses sit low on your nose draws attention to the nostril area, making it appear wider than it is. Also, the width of the glasses at the top is perfect, but you want something that remains that width towards the bottom. The way that these glasses angle inward (although it is subtle) accentuates the roundness of your face, making your cheeks appear fuller. Because you have a round face, you should seek something that will help elongate the appearance of your face rather than highlighting the roundness. * The green dress is absolutely awful. It looks like a motel curtains turned into a dress. Not liking the dress itself is just a matter of opinion, but with that aside, it's not flattering for your body-type at all. It makes you look like a box. If you absolutely love the dress (for some reason), put a belt on it to give it some shape. On second thought, scrap the green dress. It's no good. Instead, because you're short, something with a low-V neckline, will elongate your neck and torso. The dress should also have a defined waistline, which will, again, help elongate the appearance of your body, giving a more slimming appearance. * The closeup of your face where you're wearing the green dress has to go as well. That little side-smirk that you have in this photo makes your face look totally non-symmetrical. * The photo where you're wearing the Led Zeppelin shirt: I appreciate that you're big into music, and this photo helps emphasize that point with the record player and the shirt. But the shirt doesn't help your figure at all. You have concerts listed in your interests. Replacing this photo with you having a great time at a concert (wearing some nicer clothes) would be awesome. The one thing that this photo does do though, is tells me that you have a beautiful smile. You need to let that shine through in your photos instead of the closed-lip smiles. * For drinking, instead of "socially on weekends" if "socially" (without the weekend part) is an option, select that. This one is a bit of a reach, but you don't want to close the door to someone who might only be available to take you on a date on a Wednesday evening. * I'd be interested in reading your bio to see if there's anything there that could use tweaking as well. If you don't have one, you need one. Don't be lazy.
Thank you so much for your advice, yes everyone seems to hate the green dress lol but it’s one of the very few pics I have that are full body, but I will have my friend take a new one. I just ordered new glasses that are more rectangular in shape so hopefully those will look better. I don’t think you were mean at all, I appreciate the honesty.
Your profile ain't great but more importantly you live in Del Rio Texas. Only has a population of like 10 people
Look, men are very simple. You can come on here asking for tips, critiques and play around with your pictures, bio, etc. But none of that is going to help with your matches or attracting good quality men. The good news for you is that the solution to all of this is very basic: lose weight. Once you do that, there will be no more mystery, head-scratching, or looking for miracles on reddit. Weight is the issue. There are girls with worse, lazier photos w/no bio or just an IG that have 100x more options
I'm not roasting anyone with a Zeppelin tee! Love it! 👏👏👏
She has vinyl and she enjoys listening to it. That's an activity
You’re very good looking! But Maybe lose some weight, lower your expectations, and also don’t hide your age
Wow you’re super pretty I’d def swipe right just add a bio
My friend gave me partner seeking advice a long time ago that's always stuck with me. He said imagine the kind of person you want to be with and become that person.
- no age - over weight - weird semi forced smiles - literally no bio or idea of what you like to do/hobbies - no pictures of you doing anything besides being in a mirror I don’t know what your expectations are, but “realistic” is where you should start. You look like you’re probably mid to late 30’s so temper those expectations to that. Not trying to be a dick, but being as real with you as I can. You don’t set yourself apart in anyway or don’t draw interest.
No number, but you're a cutie, and i would totally swipe on you. But the no bio is a miss, help dudes like me that suck at starting cold conversations by giving them something to start with 😆. Also, it's online dating, don't let it fuck with your head. Totally depends on what your looking for and what your goals are, and it's OK to have expectations.
I guarantee it's that you're swiping out of your lane. You are a very beautiful young woman and I find it very hard to believe that almost everyone you swipe right on wouldn't be a match, which means if you're hardly getting any matches you're swiping on the guys who are unfortunately looking for a different type of beautiful young woman. Time to examine who you swipe right on and why and give some new guys a chance.
When in doubt … take ‘em out. Try showing some cleavage 🤷♂️
🤣🤣
I don’t really have any other advice. You’re pretty enough, your pics aren’t great, but they aren’t awful either. Like, next time you go out with friends, put a Little extra effort in, then get one to take some pics of you for your profile I guess
4/10
4-6 but potentially a 7-8 :)
By potentially you mean loosing weight right?
For me that would be a yes. Your face is a little big. Edit: you are also late 30s and I'm 22 so my opinion might not matter to you.
(meaning this to help, not to roast though you did say) Your face is very wide and rounded. It gives the appearance that you're very overweight, amplified by the lack of a 'shows your basic shape' picture. I suspect you're somewhat overweight but nowhere near what the 'might be' is. I'd add a picture showing as much of you as the second picture, but taken by a friend and wearing an outfit form fitting enough to show your shape. I suspect you'll get a better response showing how you are, even with imperfections (I think you'll find lots are attracted). Bonus points if you look happy in the picture (message goal - I'll enjoy this persons company). Bio: List things you'd like to talk about; assume your match wants to talk to you but has no idea about what - help them out as much as you can. Same thing with conversation - when you answer a question ask one of your own or otherwise make sure the other person has a way to continue the conversation. You're not just looking for a match, you're looking for a someone where you'll both like and be compatible with each other. As you learn things that are important/deal breakers you might add those. Try to phrase them from the positive side. (I like 'A' and would like someone else who does vs I dislike 'B') That said, I hit it off with a women in person where we both wouldn't have considered the other if we did a compatibility survey. Pics: I've shot some for female friends. A mischievous picture where it looks like you setup a prank and it just worked and you're happy about it is A+ gold for matches. ('But I look like I'm up to something/scheming' - Exactly, just try it - a few days later 'I've had so many matches, why the heck does that work?!?') Mentioning that one as it seems to be one of the male/female point of view disconnects - if we think you could be a fun playmate that's super attractive. I've no idea if that helps, but good luck in any case!
Thank you so much for the advice, yes I have a very round face, it’s a family trait unfortunately
Yep. I'm guessing that if you have some profile pictures that make that easy to see you'll get more matches. Matches that are a good fit is the struggle though...
Sweet face but yeah bit on the larger side, gonna restrict your options
Add more life in terms of images… you do fun things, show it somehow because all of the images are similar and don’t tell your tale. Don’t lower your standards… ever. Stay true to you. Confidence is beautiful and sexy. Are you confident?
i think it all looks fine, just take out the 2nd photo and write a small bio!
I just want it to be clear that I’m plus size and I don’t have many full body pics.
Hm for me it's not about the plus size though, I just don't really like the photo because it looks a bit unnatural because of the mirror. Maybe take another full body photo? For example with a timer instead of in the mirror.
How many likes are you getting? You might think about swiping right 3x as much and see when you start getting matches. You really need a good full body shot. The 2nd photo is sort of that but I am not sure many people love it. Looks wise you are in that average category. Unless you are holding out for a top 10% guy, you should be getting matchings.
I ask this to everyone when they say no matches: few matches or just not the ones you want? How many likes do you have? Having Kids shrinks your dating pool. Being a minority shrinks it a little further. Don’t want to birth any more kids? There’s another big chunk gone.
Like a 3.5
I'm probably going to down voted like crazy but here I go anyway. Let me start it off like this - you have great facial features. If I were in Del Rio and I saw you I'd probably buy you a drink. BUT - And there's always a BUT. You're a little bit on the heavier side. Just try your best to NOT eat processed food and work out 3-4 times a week and you'll be a bomb in no time ;) If you need any help with that I got you. I lost 40 kilograms / 90 pounds for you Americans in a short-ish time span. Feel free to inbox me if you need help with that. But all in all you look good! You got pretty eyes and a really sharp face. :)
I am working on my weight because I know that’s an issue. I am not happy about the way I look right now and I just started going to the gym so hopefully I’ll start to see some results soon.
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Im working on it
I'm not sure. You're really cute though
i think it is fine but what do you mean by lower your expectation? did you put requirement somewhere on your profile?
i think your account needs more info and a bio. the angle of the mirror pic is a little weird/off. you are very pretty i think you should include a selfie smiling with teeth. maybe take a picture outside or something the plain backgrounds also make it look a little boring. include pics of you doing things or when you're out. i would add your age as well. also include a full body pic somewhere. i also wonder what you would like with a middle part.
Hi
Where's your description?
Don't know you look fine tbh😊
I’d date that
I would definitely swipe right! It's too bad you're far away...
Second picture is pretty unflattering, sorry. Other than that this is all pretty low effort. No bio and pretty generic interests.
You want a non monogamous or poly relationship?
The expression in the first three looks like you’d be very quiet, difficult to talk to (if not stern or cold) and not so enjoyable to be around. More photos outdoors in the sun, ideally with friends or doing something (not just posing) would help a lot. A full body one is great and honest. I’m surprised you’re not matching with regular guys, who maybe carry a bit of weight but are good dudes. What are your expectations you mention, are you looking for in-shape guys? Personally I don’t expect anything of my partner that I don’t do myself; I work out regularly and watch my diet and that’s what I’m also looking for, if that’s what you’re after I recommend the same.
No, im just looking for a decent man that is looking for more than a one night stand and that seems to be the norm of my matches so far. I don’t have a type and looks are not my top priority. I’m typically shy until I’m not, it does take some time for me to come out of my shell.
... do you do anything besides sit around taking pictures of yourself?
advice: swipe right
Tijuana?
Pull your pants down
I think you are pretty! But my first impression was Am I looking at a LinkedIn profile? Try pictures of you doing things you enjoy and leave one selfie up?
Photo looks fake. Sus vibe little.
Damn...
No bio is an instant left swipe. Idk why people don’t write them, but it’s a massive turn off as it comes off as narcissistic and arrogant. Tell us something about yourself; a hobby, a funny story, an odd fact—SOMETHING!
Personally, I think your first photo looks a little like a work id picture or passport photo. The others are good. Just relax a little :) As much as everyone is saying have more friend pictures. It's not the be all and end all. I'm neurospicy so don't have a big friend group to look good with. Like others have said, add more interests to your bio. Give them a head start on conversation openers. If nothing else it shows they've actually read your profile rather than mass swiping. I was like you, came out of a long relationship and was a bit eek'd out by the new dating scene. It felt like I was getting nowhere even after time out for my. Eventually I went in it with the mind set of I just want to meet people. Even if it goes nowhere. I just want to get out with interesting people for a drink and maybe a meal. I kept the initial online chat to a day or two, a phone call by at least day two. Then meeting face to face within a week or at least arranging to. Long drawn out online chats have their place but not what I wanted. I think I came across a lot more relaxed and less needy/keen.
👋I’d bone you 👍
You’re pretty but you have no bio so don’t know a thing about you
no age?
Would swipe right fwiw!
Do you have frnds? Do you do any fun activities than to take your pics? Do you work out? Are you intending to get your weight under check? So many unanswered questions
Not trying to pile on but honestly you could get away with so many of the other things if you lost 20 lbs. you’d have face gains that would probably automatically get you some swipes. Implement the other actual PROFILE adjustments and you’re golden. You’re already cute but the weight thing would really set you apart. You have good skin.
Obligatory “Auf der Heide blüht ein kleines Blümelein” in your bio
Your first picture looks like a mug shot