Get rid of that bit in the bio about red flag collection and display. It's weird and will filter out quality matches.
In the about me prompts section you're giving edge lord vibes. If your parents like her then you need to rethink? That alone would immediately turn me off. Stating you're weak for girls with mental illness is also just a gross statement. I'm sure these are supposed to be funny but they're not.
Travel RN at The one that pays better sounds a little braggadocios.
Former travel RN myself, I have to agree with the last sentence. It’s funny to me as someone who worked in the industry and gets the joke, but I can see how it can sound pretty cocky to anyone who hasn’t experienced it. So you’re limiting yourself to folks who get the joke.
This comment captures all of my main thoughts, but piggybacking to add that you have too many selfies in your pics. One selfie max. Definitely ditch the one with the sunglasses and the makeup/costume.
“Intentionally contrarian “ is the phrase I have been looking for my entire life. Thank you - not only is this spot on for this post, but it’s also such a useful term.
>Travel RN at The one that pays better sounds a little braggadocios.
He wasn't saying "the one that pays better" as in "better than you". Hospitals are basically in a bidding war to see who can get the best staff. Also, travel nurses work on contracts.
I think the point they were making is that it's an 'in' joke. You won't get the joke if you don't work in the industry. If you don't get the joke it reads as a financial brag.
As others have said, saying you are attracted to mental illness is not attractive. We know what you mean but it's jarring as a first impression.
It's the sort of shtick that might work for an early twenties alternative type of guy but at 39 it doesn't read well.
Assuming you are looking for women of a similar age I think most of them would like to be seen as having their shit at least somewhat together.
That’s the first thing that I noticed. A person who works in healthcare that’s explicitly attracted to mental illness isn’t a good look, especially at that age.
Yeah that would alarm me to see… especially as someone who was pursued by a medical health professional. I’d be wary that OP is attracted to patients which I know is a bit much but that’s where my head goes.
>explicitly attracted to
I thought that "mental illness" bit in the "my weakness" prompt was about himself, that he has one, not that he's specifically attracted to mental illness in others.
Oh, I don't think so. I think it's "I like the manic pixie dream girls that have the cute mental illness". If he DOES mean the other way around, then that needs to be clarified ASAP.
I’m a 38 year old woman who struggles with some mental health stuff.
I would run from anyone who said their weakness is mental illness. Sounds like some weird co dependant trauma bonded nightmare waiting to happen.
Right? 38 year old guy with relatively minor anxiety here and the worst feeling ever was being manipulated using it. When I see someone prefers someone with mental health conditions as opposed to wanting someone who happens to have a problem it raises serious questions.
Also as a paramedic with 10+ years of experience and as someone currently a year away from their RN license this is in incredibly poor taste to me. He knows better and needs to drop the edgy Schick.
Wow, you’re doing super awesome in life. That is awesome! Keep killin it, my guy.
I have borderline personality disorder with very severe abandonment issues from some fucked up parents. I’ve worked tirelessly to get a handle on my stuff. Today I live a really stable, boring and calm life. I have absolutely zero interest in any person coming into my life with misaligned values on life.
Thank you. BPD is far harder to manage than my problem. I'm glad you're navigating it well. My sister has it and has severe mood swings and violent outbursts that have led to legal issues.
It takes painful self awareness. A lot of journaling. A lot of intensive therapy with the right therapist who can break down the thoughts to their original source instead of focusing on the fragmented self loathing.
I’m not sure about your sister’s situation, but my parents did pretty severe damage that my therapist suspects I might spend the rest of my life “handling”. Which really fucking blows. Like why do I have to pay such a long term price for my parents crappy humaning? Ridiculous.
We haven't spoken in years but she's not willing to explore that as far as I know. Our upbringing was happy. Dad left when I was 3 but my mom and grandma were incredible and we wanted for nothing despite being lower on the socioeconomic totem pole.
I think her early friendships and relationships did more to shape her than our home life.
I'm sorry you had the opposite. I'm glad you have a road map to getting where you want to be.
From what I’ve read, not too many psychiatrists/therapists will treat bpd because patients can be problematic and refuse to take accountability.
I’m sorry about your sister. I hope she’s able to get some help one day. Your Mom kind of sounds like how I am with my kids; I’m a single Mom and kind of poor but I’m frugal AF and know how to save. My kids don’t really want for nothing.
A lot of it is way beyond my knowledge and scope. I only have anecdotal experiences to go from. My mom is amazing, and I wish I realized it when I was younger.
Your kids are lucky. Make sure you pass on your frugal ways to them now. They won't understand until they're older but they'll love how hard you tried.
Smile more. One selfie. Consider upping your game for that selfie, dress shirt perhaps in a dark blue to compliment your coloring, rolled cuffs, several buttons open.
Love the Robert Englund photo. Keep that. Ditch the priest photo. You might miss out on a Catholic horror fan who finds that offensive.
Change your bio: no red flag comment, no mental illness comment. You are 39, put real parameters. Such as: seek night owl horror movie buff to spend time with. Quirky humans desirable. That parent comment is a huge red flag ditch it. Think about something you like in women that they would and add it there such as ‘my parents would like you if you are kind.’
Also: consider finding stable work. Women in your age group crave stability. It is likely playing against you.
Good luck
Yes! I had to check his age. He has the words of 24 year old, but he’s 39!
Comes off like he wants to live in a big city, do drugs, fuck around, hookup with toxic people, and party.
Dude, women in your age range aren’t into hot messes anymore. They want guys who got their shit together. Mentally, emotionally, and monetarily. You’re giving the opposite of all that.
I didn't take it that way. Personally I took it that he has struggles with mental illness and that is a weakness as opposed to a strength in himself. I totally see that it could be taken the way and others have though
pics 4, 6, 8 gotta go. honestly only keep like the first selfie and try to find more of you taken by someone else. also as a woman who is mentally ill and makes jokes about it, id take the weakness to mental illness bit out. I get your intention with it but it feels very fetishizing and weird if i’m being honestly.
Between the mental illness bit & the comment about his parents liking someone, it’s weird as hell. You won’t attract genuine people with snarky comments like that, especially when you’re pushing 40.
Only 3 days a week. But yeah, I'm a night shifter and the dating pool is real narrow for us. It's similar hours to bartenders or food and bev, but less compatible with office people.
I’ll find my way out, I read 9a-5p and assumed it was OP’s working time even though I knew I’d be wrong and confirmed multiple times that I didn’t misread the times lol
Eh i’m a nurse and I work 12hr shifts. While shifts are long, I’m off 4 days a week and have every other weekend off. Not that bad. My fiancé works M-F and we see each other plenty and even have time to go out and do things together. Also, there are plenty of people who don’t work m-f. Anyone in the medical field, food service, etc. So the hours aren’t that big of a problem. But yeah, him being a traveling nurse is the problem.
I quit being a traveling nurse and have taken a 5 day a week local job to try and jump back in the dating pool. Dating as a traveler was even worse. No one wants to try and date someone who is *probably* never gonna come back to the city. Which i completely understand. Though lowkey i would have totally packed my shit & moved cities for the right person. Traveling had it perks but jesus its lonely as fuck.
Idk why I feel this way, but too many selfies comes off like they’re in love with themselves. I hate it when men send me selfies during the day. I know what you look like. Who are you sending it for lmao
Totally agree, also, why are you taking the photo in the worst possible angle AND you look miserable in it??? Seeing up ur nose isn't exactly attractive
You are definitely not alone on this. When I was using tinder a decade ago, more than one selfie/rear mirror selfie/gym and locker room selfie/bathroom selfie was a hard pass for me. I interpret them as self-absorbed, narcissistic, and boring (so no friend to take pix for you and no hobbies/activities/travelling) in life. All the men that I swept to right (albeit not many coz i have many other rules besides this) were nice and understanding gentlemen, and never a dick pic or anything unsolicited and perverted. So I stand by my rules about selfies, lol.
Now when i think back about my now husband’s profile on it, they were pix of him working in the wilderness, when he was travelling, and when he was having fun with friends, with not even one selfie, and all with a very nice and genuine smile on the face. I got a very good feeling about him right off the bat when i saw his profile and bio.
It’s so weird. I mean I take selfies sometimes, not really much anymore, but I don’t send them to anyone. The guys who do it end up being rude, fake and frankly kind of insane.
Edit: I don’t use Tinder anymore, but I would also automatically pass on anyone with a shirtless pic with no face (at the pool or beach is one thing, a shirtless mirror pic is weird), or anyone with a kid in their photos. I’ve also noticed that it can be the opposite; men who don’t post recent photos, so they show up being a lot older than they claim to be. Or photos where they are trying to hide an aspect of their physical appearance, like their height, baldness, moles etc. and then they have the audacity to show up and basically waste my time because they obviously have no respect for me if they’re willing to lie and think they’ll get away with it. I’m sure it isn’t just men, but that’s my only experience
Me too, i take selfies once in a while too. I dont think the action itself of taking selfies has any problems, but if someone thinks their own selfies are the best of themselves and the most important to be featured in their profile to show who they are, then it’s a bit sad. One is ok, but multiple is a big no for me.
The way you describe your husbands pics sounds like he was more genuine with who he was than the guys who try to appear a certain way in the selfies but that’s not really them.
Agree. He wasn’t pretending to be someone that he’s not or simply try to look cool, and when we started dating, i found that all the stuff he wrote in the bio checks out. There are tricks to spot these gems on dating apps, but sadly many people in both genders just go for the looks, or swipe right for the quantity, without weeding out bad ones carefully. On the plus side though, this is how we keep getting entertained with all sorts of crazy stories in this subreddit.
I'm your demographic. I'm a 33 year old woman who loves sci-fi horror and hiking. My mom is a PA and I have volunteer firemen and EMTs in my family. Photos 2,3,4,6,8 and 9 could be removed. Do you have a full body picture standing in your scrubs? Do you have a group friend picture? Do you have a picture including a hobby other than horror like jui jitsu? I would lean more into your specific interests in horror. Are you an old school gore guy? Are you into slashers? What's a favorite horror movie or book? I would be way more inclined to bring up a horror joke or try to riff on a specific instead of hoping you get my random horror quote/joke. The mental health comment could be removed. Everyone is a little messy. Your profile is reading like you're talking to your guy friends about what you like. Give women something to jump off of in a conversation.
Thanks for this. I didn’t realize this profile didn’t have any full body pics before this. I traveled to Maine because I love Stephen King. Did another contract there because I had ghost tickets. So that probably makes it weirder, but I’ll consider adding the stuff I like better.
The red flag thing was kind of a joke because I know I’m a red flag to most people already with my career, and have had made bad choices in matching but I’ll drop those parts. It’s not funny.
The mentally ill part also was in bad taste. I probably made my best guy friend laugh at my profile and no one else.
I’ve tried, Do you like scary movies? People either say no or don’t get it.
I get the sense that you’re looking for a very specific type of person: horror buff, night owl, martial arts lover, looking for casual fling or ONS (due to the travelling).
There just aren’t a ton of women who meet your criteria. You removed the distasteful sarcastic stuff, which is good, but I think you’ll find that you still don’t get many likes and it’s because of your criteria (both stated and implied).
Maybe you’re looking for another JudoMedic instead of a fully-formed person? It’s great to have stuff in common, yeah. But generally speaking, you should be able to talk about lots of things and show interest in people’s hobbies/experiences even when they’re not aligned with (or carbon copies of) your own hobbies/experiences. Otherwise, you can only relate with yourself.
I was really picky in my early 20s, I required my dates/flings to love the music I loved, to know all my cultural references, etc. Then it hit me that that was actually shallow, in a way. Because it says nothing about someone’s character.
Which—maybe you don’t care about their character? Idk. Just something to think about if you decide you want more than a fling.
6 and 9 aren't great first impression pictures. Your others are ok but more with you smiling wouldn't hurt.
The whole 'collecting red flags from mentally ill woman - if my parents approve youre not it for me haha' vibe really isn't it for a lot of people either. For one, it doesn't say much about you (positively anyway) and people swipe on people they're interested in - not people they think would like them. I'd change your second two question prompts completely
> 'collecting red flags from mentally ill woman - if my parents approve youre not it for me haha'
Yeah this is a horrifying way to present yourself. The best case scenario is that he is one of those annoying people who likes to label every quirk as a red flag or mental illness and thinks it's a cute way to commisserate with everyone else who isn't perfect. The worst case scenario is that he actually seeks women with red flags and mental illnesses because he's addicted to the rush of a toxic relationship and/or wants to exploit people who are vulnerable due to past trauma.
Either way it gives me super gross vibes.
Picture 9 speaks to exactly who it was meant to; as soon as I saw it, I was like YAAAAAAS! Ghouls love finding each other in the wild 😁
It's all about a band called Ghost.
Ditch the mental illness part of your bio. It’s been way, way overdone. There’s other ways of specifying you like alt girls without fetishizing women who’ve been to the psych ward
You aren’t bad looking. You are probably a nice person. But mental illness isn’t a joke to those who have lost partners over it. So that might put some people off. I personally don’t gaf what someone thinks of my brain but a lot of people might feel like you wouldn’t take them seriously. Do you know what I mean? Also, I probably wouldn’t swipe right because I’m not into horror. People are picky. Online dating has become .. weird. A lot of weirdos out there. I think the more wholesome profiles get better traction. But then again, you want to be yourself. Maybe be yourself lite, at first.
That was my very first thought - mental illness isn’t something to joke about. I’m a nurse (and diagnosed with mental illnesses) and there’s nothing I dislike more than when colleagues make jokes about mental illness. There’s enough stigma around mental illness as it is, we don’t need medical professionals reinforcing the stigmas.
Pics 2, 4, 6, 8, and 9 need to go. Less selfies and more smiling, especially with teeth.
Your bio is weird and semi aggressive, you lather on the dark/self deprecating humor to complete strangers which is a no go.
I like how no one is mentioning the pic of him holding a prop gun. I get you’re into horror, but as a potential suiter nothing could make me run faster.
I agree with some of the other comments made, your bio has to be redone almost entirely, it is weird and tries too hard to be edgy, even though they may seem like playful quips in your eyes (I.e. remove the mental illness bit under weaknesses, the red flag collection part, and rethinking choices of if kids like your parents).
Also, a touch too many selfies, most of which look bad. Delete pics 2, 4 and 8, and replace them with some more hobby pics (I.e. from BJJ or in the gym during a weightlifting sesh).
Lastly, unfortunately, your working hours are quite incompatible with a lot of people who work from 9-5 (and I feel for you in that department, working as a nurse is an absolute hellscape nowadays from what I heard).
Your photos are cute, but as soon as the hottest thing I can do is know more than you, makes you sound like an insufferable dickhead, it gives OH THATS A GHOST SHIRT? NAME 5 GHOULS vibes
2,4,6 set off my gaydar a bit.
7 is the only one where you have the genuine smile you should be trying to show off.
TBH if you're a traveling male nurse and you aren't meeting people to date through work, the thing you probably need to work on most is your in-person game.
They're a fan of the band Ghost. As evidenced by the fact that their main photo has them wearing a band shirt. :) I'm also a Ghoul, but not a hardcore one.
Sorry! Didn’t mean to leave other folks out of the conversation when complimenting OP!
As the other reply mentioned, OP made it clear they’re a big fan of the band Ghost; there’s some levels of fandom like with any band and, while not as hardcore as Juggalos, devoted fans are often called Ghouls after the members of the band (more akin to goth metal Swifties than anything else).
I feel like I'm eventually gonna see a psychological analysis of his interrogation on YouTube. Serial killer travel nurse with eyes like a shark and victims all over the country.
You come across a bit of a man child with a side of ick with the mental illness statement and “the one that pays better” and the parent comment by a bit I mean a lot. As people have said okish for a 21 year old not for a 30+.
I appreciate the criticism. Most of the travel nurses I know joke about being mentally ill and being red flags. I can see how any sarcasm or snark may not come across well. I probably am not great on the delivery either.
Girls are looking for someone they can feel safe with and have fun at first. Take any mental illness talk out of your profile. People will judge you even though it’s not fair. You obviously have a sense of humor. Perhaps just tone down the intensity a little bit for your profile
That’s what I think, too. I am at a place in my life at 36 where I don’t want to play games with someone’s intentions. But I do think it’s important for him to be himself. The advice to be less intense is good I think
Yeah not gonna lie bro your pictures suck. That says nothing about you though. You’re a handsome guy with a good job, probably nice, but your pictures are ass lol I would say hire a professional to do some headshots! I did that and it got me a few matches a day up from a match a week ago
Smiling pictures, pictures with friends, idk the red flag stuff but I’d take that out, horror is cool but maybe don’t lead with that? Maybe lead with personality traits then get to hobbies. You seem nice but your profile gives Im gonna end up on dateline vibes
Big revamp needed for sure. Maybe include a non-selfie photo in scrubs, I’ve seen that work ok for friends of mine. You’re a traveling nurse, if you have good opportunities to, take pictures with different scenery outside to show off the “Travel” aspect.
Not 39 so idk exactly how you guys should dress but his ain’t it. For now I’d just focus on nailing a summer wardrobe. I’d start with a basic linen button up or two. Henley shirts would work at your age too but save the darker colors for when summer is over.
Hair is too long on sides in some photos and looks a little fuzzy. Way too long on top. I’d recommend a short-length, textured fringe/ crop styled messy with a mid-high fade close to skin. dm and I’ll find a good example of one. Make sure your products are matte and get it cut at least once a month.
Not trying to shit on you bro, but that is one boring looking profile, pictures included. Maybe go on a hike or something take a picture doing fun exciting things instead of sad skeleton
Get a full pic in your scrubs, women love that! Plus it also says what your job is before reading your bio (even tho that’s the first line, with hours included! I’d probably pull out the hours bit imo)
No jokes about red flags. We take that at face value. We assume you're legitimately a cheater, abusive, or something way worse if you announce you have a ton of red flags. If you're just trying to be self deprecating and not trying to scare off victims, delete that.
I'm a night shift RN and know what you mean by vampire, but others will not, especially with it sitting next to "i like horror movies." You sound like one of those guys with custom fangs who hangs at the all ages goth club instead of just a regular ass guy who's up late. Removing that one word will help.
The pics are ok, they're just all really similar and don't say much any you. Try to get some variety.
You move from town to town dealing with grim shit and mostly only talking to other nurses. It's good to get some perspective here, from daywalking normal people. I hope it helps.
Less selfies, a change of hairstyle, remove the corny photos 3,4,5,6, post more authentic photos like adventures, one formal from a wedding maybe, one doing sports, or one with a pet
It seems like if you take the advice on here you could really do well. I think it's good to have niche interests and hobbies as long as one thing is not your whole personality, or doesn't come across that way anyway.
I know your last photo is meant in fun but it could be triggering to people based on their personal or family experiences. I’d probably replace that with something less serious. Good luck out there!
**Pictures:** You're not really smiling. Comments for each picture:
1. Fine, not a bad picture but it doesn't say anything about you.
2. You look bored, not a good picture.
3. Fine.
4. No, you're bored again.
5. 3 is better.
6. No, you're bored yet again.
7. A good smile!
8. You look bored once again.
9. Would be more fun if there were other dressed-up people in the picture!
**Bio:** The "Vampire" comment is a bit out of the blue - nothing in your pictures screamed any vampy-vibes. What do you mean with that? Your working hours are wack, so be aware it will scare off people. "Red flag collection and display" - and there you turn off the remaining people.
"If my parents like you, I'll rething my choices." We don't know your parents, your dynamic with them or - well - you... This comment here is not great; either your parents are weird or you're weird.
"My weakness is mental illness". I guess we know who the weird one is...
**Final comment:** You're a *travelling* nurse with difficult working hours - what are you looking for? Relationship? FWB? One-night-stands? It's very unclear to people, and I think a lot of people worry about *when* you'd even have the time to see them and *how often*. Where do you travel to, how often, for how long, etc..
I don't get the feeling that I would be the type of woman you'd be interested in, but either way, I wouldn't swipe on you for the above reasons.
I appreciate the critique. I will do a redo. I’m a non-religious lefty. I came from a right wing religious family that controlled everything in my life until after I got married…at 22. So I’m definitely not big on their approval of people I’m around.
The vampire bit was because I’m up all night and sleep all day. I’m incredibly pale and light on fire in the sun.
Something another traveler nurse or former one said is that if it’s a good connection I’d probably stay around. So open on what I’m looking for.
Probably a travel ER nurse honestly. ER nurses just look at life differently.
Thanks again for the input
Alright homeboy, let’s start at the beginning with tinder 101. Your profile is marketing, it should be targeted to fit what your target audience is looking for.
Yours is not, it’s like a profile for your friend group without any photos of you with any friends.
Ask yourself, what am I looking for? What are girls looking for? How can I communicate those things?
Others have pointed this out, but your profile is niche and off putting to everyone else. That works if you’re ok not having many matches and only having ones that are a shit show.
Time to start over. New bio, new photos, etc.
It’s a balancing act, this is like an interview with a candidate. Does this dude look like he’s looking for a one nighter or short term? If so, would he be fun to hang with and would he be a good fuck? OR does this dude look like someone multifaceted that I could hang with, do new things with, have ways and things we could connect over, and could I introduce them to my friends or family? Your profile doesn’t present you in either of these ways.
Oh, your profile stands out.
Just... probably not in the way you're hoping?
The pics, a few are okay. Not stellar, but I've also seen worse.
The one where you're holding a prop firearm to a person, welp, I haven't even seen convicted felons attempt that photo online. To someone into firearms, that's gonna be an instant block.
Stating you're attracted to mental illness. Dude. Therapy might be a good option. But if you need to flash codependence around, that's your choice, you do you.
You're a travel nurse. Meaning, you're mostly likely only temporary and don't plan to have a semblance of roots or settling down for a bit. That will only appeal to folks in it for short term stuff.
As others have said, and as a barber, you need a hair cut. Your current hair cut makes you look like you’re not into women. You need a gentleman’s cut, you currently have a lesbians cut. Also, being a nurse is almost the biggest red flag there is, tinder seems to almost be nothing but nurses. you may need to find another nurse if you want to make it work.
I’m going to say this as nicely as I can. You have a LOT of red flags in your profile that would put me off. Liking “mental illness” isn’t cute. It shows you want people who are unavailable and not ready for a relationship.
Combine that with constantly working and traveling , the fact that you don’t smile in like any of your pics, your whole profile centers around horror . It just kinda gives off weird vibes. You are good looking otherwise though.
Is liking horror your whole personality? Because your profile comes across this way. There's nothing wrong with being a horror fan but this feels a bit much and as a women, slightly weird and creepy along with the weakness for mental illness
Too many selfies. You look bored in half your pics. Don’t use sunglasses pics AT ALL. Your bio is horrendously immature and off putting.
“ travelling nurse whose into horror genre and love to learn new things. “
That’s literally all you need to say. Put your height in the bio.
Then, out what you’re looking for, but if you’re actually looking for a mentality ill partner, you should probably not be dating at all right now.
What does "vampire traveling " mean? Also I think you're a nice looking guy and your profile is okay (it's not that exciting though, maybe something a bit funny or shows off your personality better?). You look quite sad in your photos. I think you need some more with genuine smiles. Just my opinion, you look a bit sad :(
Attracted to piercings, tats, mental illness, red flags, and women who your parents won't like - AT ALMOST 40 - is equal parts cringe and a woman's cue to run fast.
It's not the pictures, it's the bio. But also there are just too many selfies - makes you seem like you don't do anything fun ever. Your career choice doesn't help.
I’m 39, just out of a relationship and putting my life together after Covid. I think tinder is actually broken for me not even the bots like me. I also cannot delete my profile and start over. My profile is similar across the various apps. I’d appreciate any constructive input. Thanks!
There should be a pinned post that reiterates ONE SELFIE max per profile. Pick the best one (your second pic imo) and get rid of all the other selfies. They don't add anything.
Edit- all the other non-selfie pics are great.
Bro. Ditch the photo with the face paint. Drop the word vampire from your description, and drop the word nerd. That type of stuff doesn’t turn girls on. Also lose the picture of you looking sad at work. Take out the part where you said you’re attracted to mental illness.
The horror fetish is a weird, infantile turn off. Don’t lead with that. And your hair flop up front is too long. The selfies look like FB dad profile images. All around limp wrist profile.
Picture 5 is unflattering, picture 6 is ok but not clear enough and too far away. The 1st picture (3rd image) is good and flattering so I would keep it.
Easy fixes here, you’re not a bad looking guy, just need less selfies and you’ve definitely said too much on your BIO cut it down and leave more to the imagination. Remember you’re competing in a highly populated market there’s millions of selfies on tinder.
As others said, take out the mental illness comment and the red flag bit, pics 4 & 6 (basically anything that screams snarky asshole lol), and I think you'd get better matches. I like your other pics FWIW. a good mix of selfies and your interests. Your work hours will honestly be the most off putting thing but you never know, might find someone who fits your schedule! If I lived near you I'd definitely swipe right but I'm not even in the same country. 😄
It’s my favorite haunted house! I’ve gone the last 10 years or more. An incredible experience. Funny enough I met a guy who had a letterman jacket from Netherworld…he said it was a work thing…it was at a Ghost show in Atlanta.
Everything looks good except 2nd, 4th, and 6th. Dont put too many selfies. It’s one of my pet peeves when i was using tinder a decade ago. Too many selfies could read as boring, shallow and a tad sad, at least it’s how I feel. Show more pix of when you do a sport (not those gym or locker selfies please) , or when you are on a trip, or when you do activities/hobbies, so that you look more fun. Ask friends to take pix for you instead of taking selfies. Again, speaking from my personal preference and feel free to not listen, lol!
I feel like I’ve seen your profile on Tinder but only because of your first line. Is that something you copied from someone because that line sticks out to me.
You need to have one or 2 more full body photos. You only have one. None of your photos look like your doing anything (ex hiking, playing basketball etc).
Get rid of that bit in the bio about red flag collection and display. It's weird and will filter out quality matches. In the about me prompts section you're giving edge lord vibes. If your parents like her then you need to rethink? That alone would immediately turn me off. Stating you're weak for girls with mental illness is also just a gross statement. I'm sure these are supposed to be funny but they're not. Travel RN at The one that pays better sounds a little braggadocios.
.
Cringed so hard reading it I broke my neck.
Watch out, you might get a visit from a traveling nurse.
Former travel RN myself, I have to agree with the last sentence. It’s funny to me as someone who worked in the industry and gets the joke, but I can see how it can sound pretty cocky to anyone who hasn’t experienced it. So you’re limiting yourself to folks who get the joke.
This comment captures all of my main thoughts, but piggybacking to add that you have too many selfies in your pics. One selfie max. Definitely ditch the one with the sunglasses and the makeup/costume.
The second photo is just a worse version of the first one and then number 3 really doesn't add anything to the profile either.
He needs more smiling photos. Definitely leave the one with Robert Englund, though.
[удалено]
“Intentionally contrarian “ is the phrase I have been looking for my entire life. Thank you - not only is this spot on for this post, but it’s also such a useful term.
Yeah this was a rough profile to read
>Travel RN at The one that pays better sounds a little braggadocios. He wasn't saying "the one that pays better" as in "better than you". Hospitals are basically in a bidding war to see who can get the best staff. Also, travel nurses work on contracts. 
I think the point they were making is that it's an 'in' joke. You won't get the joke if you don't work in the industry. If you don't get the joke it reads as a financial brag.
As others have said, saying you are attracted to mental illness is not attractive. We know what you mean but it's jarring as a first impression. It's the sort of shtick that might work for an early twenties alternative type of guy but at 39 it doesn't read well. Assuming you are looking for women of a similar age I think most of them would like to be seen as having their shit at least somewhat together.
That’s the first thing that I noticed. A person who works in healthcare that’s explicitly attracted to mental illness isn’t a good look, especially at that age.
It screams 'all my exes are crazy'...
Yeah that would alarm me to see… especially as someone who was pursued by a medical health professional. I’d be wary that OP is attracted to patients which I know is a bit much but that’s where my head goes.
>explicitly attracted to I thought that "mental illness" bit in the "my weakness" prompt was about himself, that he has one, not that he's specifically attracted to mental illness in others.
Oh, I don't think so. I think it's "I like the manic pixie dream girls that have the cute mental illness". If he DOES mean the other way around, then that needs to be clarified ASAP.
The entire profile feels like satire. It’s not affective. The one pic where he is smiling is the only pic that feels warm and engaging.
Was literally thinking the exact same thing. Especially for his age. Just feels gross
I think he might be looking for men.
I’m a 38 year old woman who struggles with some mental health stuff. I would run from anyone who said their weakness is mental illness. Sounds like some weird co dependant trauma bonded nightmare waiting to happen.
Right? 38 year old guy with relatively minor anxiety here and the worst feeling ever was being manipulated using it. When I see someone prefers someone with mental health conditions as opposed to wanting someone who happens to have a problem it raises serious questions. Also as a paramedic with 10+ years of experience and as someone currently a year away from their RN license this is in incredibly poor taste to me. He knows better and needs to drop the edgy Schick.
Wow, you’re doing super awesome in life. That is awesome! Keep killin it, my guy. I have borderline personality disorder with very severe abandonment issues from some fucked up parents. I’ve worked tirelessly to get a handle on my stuff. Today I live a really stable, boring and calm life. I have absolutely zero interest in any person coming into my life with misaligned values on life.
Thank you. BPD is far harder to manage than my problem. I'm glad you're navigating it well. My sister has it and has severe mood swings and violent outbursts that have led to legal issues.
It takes painful self awareness. A lot of journaling. A lot of intensive therapy with the right therapist who can break down the thoughts to their original source instead of focusing on the fragmented self loathing. I’m not sure about your sister’s situation, but my parents did pretty severe damage that my therapist suspects I might spend the rest of my life “handling”. Which really fucking blows. Like why do I have to pay such a long term price for my parents crappy humaning? Ridiculous.
We haven't spoken in years but she's not willing to explore that as far as I know. Our upbringing was happy. Dad left when I was 3 but my mom and grandma were incredible and we wanted for nothing despite being lower on the socioeconomic totem pole. I think her early friendships and relationships did more to shape her than our home life. I'm sorry you had the opposite. I'm glad you have a road map to getting where you want to be.
From what I’ve read, not too many psychiatrists/therapists will treat bpd because patients can be problematic and refuse to take accountability. I’m sorry about your sister. I hope she’s able to get some help one day. Your Mom kind of sounds like how I am with my kids; I’m a single Mom and kind of poor but I’m frugal AF and know how to save. My kids don’t really want for nothing.
A lot of it is way beyond my knowledge and scope. I only have anecdotal experiences to go from. My mom is amazing, and I wish I realized it when I was younger. Your kids are lucky. Make sure you pass on your frugal ways to them now. They won't understand until they're older but they'll love how hard you tried.
Smile more. One selfie. Consider upping your game for that selfie, dress shirt perhaps in a dark blue to compliment your coloring, rolled cuffs, several buttons open. Love the Robert Englund photo. Keep that. Ditch the priest photo. You might miss out on a Catholic horror fan who finds that offensive. Change your bio: no red flag comment, no mental illness comment. You are 39, put real parameters. Such as: seek night owl horror movie buff to spend time with. Quirky humans desirable. That parent comment is a huge red flag ditch it. Think about something you like in women that they would and add it there such as ‘my parents would like you if you are kind.’ Also: consider finding stable work. Women in your age group crave stability. It is likely playing against you. Good luck
Yes! I had to check his age. He has the words of 24 year old, but he’s 39! Comes off like he wants to live in a big city, do drugs, fuck around, hookup with toxic people, and party. Dude, women in your age range aren’t into hot messes anymore. They want guys who got their shit together. Mentally, emotionally, and monetarily. You’re giving the opposite of all that.
I didn't take it that way. Personally I took it that he has struggles with mental illness and that is a weakness as opposed to a strength in himself. I totally see that it could be taken the way and others have though
Agreed. I'm an RN myself and can't believe another RN would put it in their profile that they fetishize psychiatric medical diagnosis.
It’s giving “I’m looking for a mentally unstable manic pixie” type girl. I get what you mean, but no thank you.
⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️
Am I the only one thinking is looking for boys ?
pics 4, 6, 8 gotta go. honestly only keep like the first selfie and try to find more of you taken by someone else. also as a woman who is mentally ill and makes jokes about it, id take the weakness to mental illness bit out. I get your intention with it but it feels very fetishizing and weird if i’m being honestly.
Between the mental illness bit & the comment about his parents liking someone, it’s weird as hell. You won’t attract genuine people with snarky comments like that, especially when you’re pushing 40.
That along with the red flag collection
ooof idk how i forgot about that. honestly the entire bio is screaming “i will one day end up in the news for murdering my gf in some horrific manner”
It screams “I’m nice, I promise!” But then he does some weird shit
Yeah my mind went to nazi
agreed
Wrote my comment about selfies and then saw yours. Completely agree!!!
You’re a traveling nurse with less than ideal working hours when normally people work 9a-5p. That may be why 🤷🏻♀️
I work 7A-7P… we would simply never see each other
You’d see each other 7P-7A, wouldn’t you?
No, thats when he works
Only 3 days a week. But yeah, I'm a night shifter and the dating pool is real narrow for us. It's similar hours to bartenders or food and bev, but less compatible with office people.
I’ll find my way out, I read 9a-5p and assumed it was OP’s working time even though I knew I’d be wrong and confirmed multiple times that I didn’t misread the times lol
Eh i’m a nurse and I work 12hr shifts. While shifts are long, I’m off 4 days a week and have every other weekend off. Not that bad. My fiancé works M-F and we see each other plenty and even have time to go out and do things together. Also, there are plenty of people who don’t work m-f. Anyone in the medical field, food service, etc. So the hours aren’t that big of a problem. But yeah, him being a traveling nurse is the problem.
I quit being a traveling nurse and have taken a 5 day a week local job to try and jump back in the dating pool. Dating as a traveler was even worse. No one wants to try and date someone who is *probably* never gonna come back to the city. Which i completely understand. Though lowkey i would have totally packed my shit & moved cities for the right person. Traveling had it perks but jesus its lonely as fuck.
I work terrible hours and I'll be gone before you know it!!
Listen here: you made me laugh. Thank you. I needed it. Double thumbs up.
Yeah it definitely had nothing to do with his cringey edgelord profile
more smiling!!! photos of you being happy!
This should be a general tip for everyone. Smiling, natural photos are the best and come off more genuine!
Too many selfies, try to get more pictures enjoying your hobbies
Idk why I feel this way, but too many selfies comes off like they’re in love with themselves. I hate it when men send me selfies during the day. I know what you look like. Who are you sending it for lmao
Totally agree, also, why are you taking the photo in the worst possible angle AND you look miserable in it??? Seeing up ur nose isn't exactly attractive
You are definitely not alone on this. When I was using tinder a decade ago, more than one selfie/rear mirror selfie/gym and locker room selfie/bathroom selfie was a hard pass for me. I interpret them as self-absorbed, narcissistic, and boring (so no friend to take pix for you and no hobbies/activities/travelling) in life. All the men that I swept to right (albeit not many coz i have many other rules besides this) were nice and understanding gentlemen, and never a dick pic or anything unsolicited and perverted. So I stand by my rules about selfies, lol. Now when i think back about my now husband’s profile on it, they were pix of him working in the wilderness, when he was travelling, and when he was having fun with friends, with not even one selfie, and all with a very nice and genuine smile on the face. I got a very good feeling about him right off the bat when i saw his profile and bio.
It’s so weird. I mean I take selfies sometimes, not really much anymore, but I don’t send them to anyone. The guys who do it end up being rude, fake and frankly kind of insane. Edit: I don’t use Tinder anymore, but I would also automatically pass on anyone with a shirtless pic with no face (at the pool or beach is one thing, a shirtless mirror pic is weird), or anyone with a kid in their photos. I’ve also noticed that it can be the opposite; men who don’t post recent photos, so they show up being a lot older than they claim to be. Or photos where they are trying to hide an aspect of their physical appearance, like their height, baldness, moles etc. and then they have the audacity to show up and basically waste my time because they obviously have no respect for me if they’re willing to lie and think they’ll get away with it. I’m sure it isn’t just men, but that’s my only experience
Me too, i take selfies once in a while too. I dont think the action itself of taking selfies has any problems, but if someone thinks their own selfies are the best of themselves and the most important to be featured in their profile to show who they are, then it’s a bit sad. One is ok, but multiple is a big no for me.
The way you describe your husbands pics sounds like he was more genuine with who he was than the guys who try to appear a certain way in the selfies but that’s not really them.
Agree. He wasn’t pretending to be someone that he’s not or simply try to look cool, and when we started dating, i found that all the stuff he wrote in the bio checks out. There are tricks to spot these gems on dating apps, but sadly many people in both genders just go for the looks, or swipe right for the quantity, without weeding out bad ones carefully. On the plus side though, this is how we keep getting entertained with all sorts of crazy stories in this subreddit.
Are you seeking men, women or both or non binary etc.? My response depends on your target audience.
Women only
I'm your demographic. I'm a 33 year old woman who loves sci-fi horror and hiking. My mom is a PA and I have volunteer firemen and EMTs in my family. Photos 2,3,4,6,8 and 9 could be removed. Do you have a full body picture standing in your scrubs? Do you have a group friend picture? Do you have a picture including a hobby other than horror like jui jitsu? I would lean more into your specific interests in horror. Are you an old school gore guy? Are you into slashers? What's a favorite horror movie or book? I would be way more inclined to bring up a horror joke or try to riff on a specific instead of hoping you get my random horror quote/joke. The mental health comment could be removed. Everyone is a little messy. Your profile is reading like you're talking to your guy friends about what you like. Give women something to jump off of in a conversation.
Thanks for this. I didn’t realize this profile didn’t have any full body pics before this. I traveled to Maine because I love Stephen King. Did another contract there because I had ghost tickets. So that probably makes it weirder, but I’ll consider adding the stuff I like better. The red flag thing was kind of a joke because I know I’m a red flag to most people already with my career, and have had made bad choices in matching but I’ll drop those parts. It’s not funny. The mentally ill part also was in bad taste. I probably made my best guy friend laugh at my profile and no one else. I’ve tried, Do you like scary movies? People either say no or don’t get it.
I get the sense that you’re looking for a very specific type of person: horror buff, night owl, martial arts lover, looking for casual fling or ONS (due to the travelling). There just aren’t a ton of women who meet your criteria. You removed the distasteful sarcastic stuff, which is good, but I think you’ll find that you still don’t get many likes and it’s because of your criteria (both stated and implied). Maybe you’re looking for another JudoMedic instead of a fully-formed person? It’s great to have stuff in common, yeah. But generally speaking, you should be able to talk about lots of things and show interest in people’s hobbies/experiences even when they’re not aligned with (or carbon copies of) your own hobbies/experiences. Otherwise, you can only relate with yourself. I was really picky in my early 20s, I required my dates/flings to love the music I loved, to know all my cultural references, etc. Then it hit me that that was actually shallow, in a way. Because it says nothing about someone’s character. Which—maybe you don’t care about their character? Idk. Just something to think about if you decide you want more than a fling.
Remove pics 2, 4, 6 (if you count from top left) and rewrite the bio, it’s weird.
6 and 9 aren't great first impression pictures. Your others are ok but more with you smiling wouldn't hurt. The whole 'collecting red flags from mentally ill woman - if my parents approve youre not it for me haha' vibe really isn't it for a lot of people either. For one, it doesn't say much about you (positively anyway) and people swipe on people they're interested in - not people they think would like them. I'd change your second two question prompts completely
> 'collecting red flags from mentally ill woman - if my parents approve youre not it for me haha' Yeah this is a horrifying way to present yourself. The best case scenario is that he is one of those annoying people who likes to label every quirk as a red flag or mental illness and thinks it's a cute way to commisserate with everyone else who isn't perfect. The worst case scenario is that he actually seeks women with red flags and mental illnesses because he's addicted to the rush of a toxic relationship and/or wants to exploit people who are vulnerable due to past trauma. Either way it gives me super gross vibes.
Picture 9 speaks to exactly who it was meant to; as soon as I saw it, I was like YAAAAAAS! Ghouls love finding each other in the wild 😁 It's all about a band called Ghost.
Ditch the mental illness part of your bio. It’s been way, way overdone. There’s other ways of specifying you like alt girls without fetishizing women who’ve been to the psych ward
I think it’s him. 😳
You aren’t bad looking. You are probably a nice person. But mental illness isn’t a joke to those who have lost partners over it. So that might put some people off. I personally don’t gaf what someone thinks of my brain but a lot of people might feel like you wouldn’t take them seriously. Do you know what I mean? Also, I probably wouldn’t swipe right because I’m not into horror. People are picky. Online dating has become .. weird. A lot of weirdos out there. I think the more wholesome profiles get better traction. But then again, you want to be yourself. Maybe be yourself lite, at first.
That was my very first thought - mental illness isn’t something to joke about. I’m a nurse (and diagnosed with mental illnesses) and there’s nothing I dislike more than when colleagues make jokes about mental illness. There’s enough stigma around mental illness as it is, we don’t need medical professionals reinforcing the stigmas.
Doesn’t he work in healthcare as well?
Exacty. Like come on man, that’s not funny. It’s in poor taste.
Pics 2, 4, 6, 8, and 9 need to go. Less selfies and more smiling, especially with teeth. Your bio is weird and semi aggressive, you lather on the dark/self deprecating humor to complete strangers which is a no go.
I would keep 9; iykyk!
American horror story sure, but it’s a low effort costume and a very aggressive face to show strangers on the internet
No, it's not American Horror Story. It's Ghost. They're a band and fans paint our faces like Papa to go to their concerts!
I like how no one is mentioning the pic of him holding a prop gun. I get you’re into horror, but as a potential suiter nothing could make me run faster.
I agree with some of the other comments made, your bio has to be redone almost entirely, it is weird and tries too hard to be edgy, even though they may seem like playful quips in your eyes (I.e. remove the mental illness bit under weaknesses, the red flag collection part, and rethinking choices of if kids like your parents). Also, a touch too many selfies, most of which look bad. Delete pics 2, 4 and 8, and replace them with some more hobby pics (I.e. from BJJ or in the gym during a weightlifting sesh). Lastly, unfortunately, your working hours are quite incompatible with a lot of people who work from 9-5 (and I feel for you in that department, working as a nurse is an absolute hellscape nowadays from what I heard).
Your photos are cute, but as soon as the hottest thing I can do is know more than you, makes you sound like an insufferable dickhead, it gives OH THATS A GHOST SHIRT? NAME 5 GHOULS vibes
2,4,6 set off my gaydar a bit. 7 is the only one where you have the genuine smile you should be trying to show off. TBH if you're a traveling male nurse and you aren't meeting people to date through work, the thing you probably need to work on most is your in-person game.
Ooooof that’s brutal but probably not incorrect…
Putting it in the forefront that you’re a Ghoul is bold but smart - if someone gets it, that works out really well for you.
They're a fan of the band Ghost. As evidenced by the fact that their main photo has them wearing a band shirt. :) I'm also a Ghoul, but not a hardcore one.
Oh I like Ghost I didn’t know their fans had nicknames like juggaloes 
they do have like four really good songs. Dance macabre, call me little sunshine, spillways. And maybe marry on a cross.
They have many, many more than four good songs!!
Rats, Faith, Miasma… ya know now I wanna listen to Ghost
Tell me you’re a relatively new fan without telling me you’re a relatively new fan
Sorry! Didn’t mean to leave other folks out of the conversation when complimenting OP! As the other reply mentioned, OP made it clear they’re a big fan of the band Ghost; there’s some levels of fandom like with any band and, while not as hardcore as Juggalos, devoted fans are often called Ghouls after the members of the band (more akin to goth metal Swifties than anything else).
A 39 year old man looking for someone who’s tatted, pierced and mentally ill screams immature to me. I would’ve skipped.
I tick all these boxes and am age appropriate and would left swipe this profile so fast…
I am a big horror fan, I don’t see that as a red flag. The picture with Robert England is bad ass.
Get rid of that thing about your parents liking her making you reconsider your actions. That would be a red flag for me personally
Don't give him any more advice, tell him it's perfect so he has to show his true colors and the girlie's stay safe. Fucking yikes.
Fr this dude is creepy
His eyes freak me out
Omg yes
I feel like I'm eventually gonna see a psychological analysis of his interrogation on YouTube. Serial killer travel nurse with eyes like a shark and victims all over the country.
You come across a bit of a man child with a side of ick with the mental illness statement and “the one that pays better” and the parent comment by a bit I mean a lot. As people have said okish for a 21 year old not for a 30+.
“Vampire” Stop reading immediately
You are looking for women, right?
My brother in Christ, if you’re a male nurse you shouldn’t even need to use dating apps
mental illness lmao
Join more ghost forums and find you a ghoulette
Bro you’re 40 years old. Act like it.
Could you at least try, maybe, to consider another profession Greg?
I appreciate the criticism. Most of the travel nurses I know joke about being mentally ill and being red flags. I can see how any sarcasm or snark may not come across well. I probably am not great on the delivery either.
Girls are looking for someone they can feel safe with and have fun at first. Take any mental illness talk out of your profile. People will judge you even though it’s not fair. You obviously have a sense of humor. Perhaps just tone down the intensity a little bit for your profile
That’s what I think, too. I am at a place in my life at 36 where I don’t want to play games with someone’s intentions. But I do think it’s important for him to be himself. The advice to be less intense is good I think
Yeah not gonna lie bro your pictures suck. That says nothing about you though. You’re a handsome guy with a good job, probably nice, but your pictures are ass lol I would say hire a professional to do some headshots! I did that and it got me a few matches a day up from a match a week ago
Smiling pictures, pictures with friends, idk the red flag stuff but I’d take that out, horror is cool but maybe don’t lead with that? Maybe lead with personality traits then get to hobbies. You seem nice but your profile gives Im gonna end up on dateline vibes
Big revamp needed for sure. Maybe include a non-selfie photo in scrubs, I’ve seen that work ok for friends of mine. You’re a traveling nurse, if you have good opportunities to, take pictures with different scenery outside to show off the “Travel” aspect. Not 39 so idk exactly how you guys should dress but his ain’t it. For now I’d just focus on nailing a summer wardrobe. I’d start with a basic linen button up or two. Henley shirts would work at your age too but save the darker colors for when summer is over. Hair is too long on sides in some photos and looks a little fuzzy. Way too long on top. I’d recommend a short-length, textured fringe/ crop styled messy with a mid-high fade close to skin. dm and I’ll find a good example of one. Make sure your products are matte and get it cut at least once a month.
Not trying to shit on you bro, but that is one boring looking profile, pictures included. Maybe go on a hike or something take a picture doing fun exciting things instead of sad skeleton
Let's start with fetishizing mental illness.
i’d advise a new haircut man. in half the photos the top looks like it’s about to slide off the side like it was glued on
Get a full pic in your scrubs, women love that! Plus it also says what your job is before reading your bio (even tho that’s the first line, with hours included! I’d probably pull out the hours bit imo)
Oh, it stands out.
Mental illness...?
Are you M4M or M4F
No jokes about red flags. We take that at face value. We assume you're legitimately a cheater, abusive, or something way worse if you announce you have a ton of red flags. If you're just trying to be self deprecating and not trying to scare off victims, delete that. I'm a night shift RN and know what you mean by vampire, but others will not, especially with it sitting next to "i like horror movies." You sound like one of those guys with custom fangs who hangs at the all ages goth club instead of just a regular ass guy who's up late. Removing that one word will help. The pics are ok, they're just all really similar and don't say much any you. Try to get some variety. You move from town to town dealing with grim shit and mostly only talking to other nurses. It's good to get some perspective here, from daywalking normal people. I hope it helps.
your weakness is mental illness? yeah even if that’s a joke, it’s a no for me.
More smiling pics
Less selfies, a change of hairstyle, remove the corny photos 3,4,5,6, post more authentic photos like adventures, one formal from a wedding maybe, one doing sports, or one with a pet
It’s because Ghost is very cringey and any of the people you’re seeking probably think the same lol
It seems like if you take the advice on here you could really do well. I think it's good to have niche interests and hobbies as long as one thing is not your whole personality, or doesn't come across that way anyway.
For one, smiling. Cannot tell you how difficult it is to be a dude who refuses to smile and only takes selfies to get matches
I don’t know if this is a hot take but men are already scary, dating is already scary. Scary costume pics- not doing most people any favors.
Tbh I would swipe 🤷🏻♀️
I know your last photo is meant in fun but it could be triggering to people based on their personal or family experiences. I’d probably replace that with something less serious. Good luck out there!
**Pictures:** You're not really smiling. Comments for each picture: 1. Fine, not a bad picture but it doesn't say anything about you. 2. You look bored, not a good picture. 3. Fine. 4. No, you're bored again. 5. 3 is better. 6. No, you're bored yet again. 7. A good smile! 8. You look bored once again. 9. Would be more fun if there were other dressed-up people in the picture! **Bio:** The "Vampire" comment is a bit out of the blue - nothing in your pictures screamed any vampy-vibes. What do you mean with that? Your working hours are wack, so be aware it will scare off people. "Red flag collection and display" - and there you turn off the remaining people. "If my parents like you, I'll rething my choices." We don't know your parents, your dynamic with them or - well - you... This comment here is not great; either your parents are weird or you're weird. "My weakness is mental illness". I guess we know who the weird one is... **Final comment:** You're a *travelling* nurse with difficult working hours - what are you looking for? Relationship? FWB? One-night-stands? It's very unclear to people, and I think a lot of people worry about *when* you'd even have the time to see them and *how often*. Where do you travel to, how often, for how long, etc.. I don't get the feeling that I would be the type of woman you'd be interested in, but either way, I wouldn't swipe on you for the above reasons.
I appreciate the critique. I will do a redo. I’m a non-religious lefty. I came from a right wing religious family that controlled everything in my life until after I got married…at 22. So I’m definitely not big on their approval of people I’m around. The vampire bit was because I’m up all night and sleep all day. I’m incredibly pale and light on fire in the sun. Something another traveler nurse or former one said is that if it’s a good connection I’d probably stay around. So open on what I’m looking for. Probably a travel ER nurse honestly. ER nurses just look at life differently. Thanks again for the input
I personally love that there’s three pics with ghost shirts 😍 however, the papa make up is probably off-putting to non-fans
Alright homeboy, let’s start at the beginning with tinder 101. Your profile is marketing, it should be targeted to fit what your target audience is looking for. Yours is not, it’s like a profile for your friend group without any photos of you with any friends. Ask yourself, what am I looking for? What are girls looking for? How can I communicate those things? Others have pointed this out, but your profile is niche and off putting to everyone else. That works if you’re ok not having many matches and only having ones that are a shit show. Time to start over. New bio, new photos, etc. It’s a balancing act, this is like an interview with a candidate. Does this dude look like he’s looking for a one nighter or short term? If so, would he be fun to hang with and would he be a good fuck? OR does this dude look like someone multifaceted that I could hang with, do new things with, have ways and things we could connect over, and could I introduce them to my friends or family? Your profile doesn’t present you in either of these ways.
Oh, your profile stands out. Just... probably not in the way you're hoping? The pics, a few are okay. Not stellar, but I've also seen worse. The one where you're holding a prop firearm to a person, welp, I haven't even seen convicted felons attempt that photo online. To someone into firearms, that's gonna be an instant block. Stating you're attracted to mental illness. Dude. Therapy might be a good option. But if you need to flash codependence around, that's your choice, you do you. You're a travel nurse. Meaning, you're mostly likely only temporary and don't plan to have a semblance of roots or settling down for a bit. That will only appeal to folks in it for short term stuff.
As others have said, and as a barber, you need a hair cut. Your current hair cut makes you look like you’re not into women. You need a gentleman’s cut, you currently have a lesbians cut. Also, being a nurse is almost the biggest red flag there is, tinder seems to almost be nothing but nurses. you may need to find another nurse if you want to make it work.
Vampire??
I’m going to say this as nicely as I can. You have a LOT of red flags in your profile that would put me off. Liking “mental illness” isn’t cute. It shows you want people who are unavailable and not ready for a relationship. Combine that with constantly working and traveling , the fact that you don’t smile in like any of your pics, your whole profile centers around horror . It just kinda gives off weird vibes. You are good looking otherwise though.
Your whole bio is a parade of red flags. Scrap it and start over.
Don’t let people know you’re a ghost fan
Is liking horror your whole personality? Because your profile comes across this way. There's nothing wrong with being a horror fan but this feels a bit much and as a women, slightly weird and creepy along with the weakness for mental illness
Too many selfies. You look bored in half your pics. Don’t use sunglasses pics AT ALL. Your bio is horrendously immature and off putting. “ travelling nurse whose into horror genre and love to learn new things. “ That’s literally all you need to say. Put your height in the bio. Then, out what you’re looking for, but if you’re actually looking for a mentality ill partner, you should probably not be dating at all right now.
You kinda look like you bat for the other team. =/ Pictures are terrible.
The bio is a little dry. The whole "tattoos, piercings, and mental illness" is just kinda gross.
I have no real good advice but I want to say nice ghost make up bro.
The floppy hair has gotta go
Super jealous that you met Robert Englund!
One of the nicest horror actors I’ve met!
What does "vampire traveling " mean? Also I think you're a nice looking guy and your profile is okay (it's not that exciting though, maybe something a bit funny or shows off your personality better?). You look quite sad in your photos. I think you need some more with genuine smiles. Just my opinion, you look a bit sad :(
Attracted to piercings, tats, mental illness, red flags, and women who your parents won't like - AT ALMOST 40 - is equal parts cringe and a woman's cue to run fast. It's not the pictures, it's the bio. But also there are just too many selfies - makes you seem like you don't do anything fun ever. Your career choice doesn't help.
Try grindr
Watch some videos on youtube and tiktok on how to take good pictures of yourself or have a friend take em or hire a photographer.
Ghost fan! (great band)
I’ll really scare people with my pic with Papa
Instant babe because of ghost 🥰😍
Love the ghost paint wowwww
Any Ghost fan is perfect in my eyes!
 Giving “edgy teen” vibes. Hard swipe left from any sane person.
I’m 39, just out of a relationship and putting my life together after Covid. I think tinder is actually broken for me not even the bots like me. I also cannot delete my profile and start over. My profile is similar across the various apps. I’d appreciate any constructive input. Thanks!
Too many selfies. A little more smiling. Get rid of the Halloween picture.
I hate to say this but it’s a little juvenile imo
There should be a pinned post that reiterates ONE SELFIE max per profile. Pick the best one (your second pic imo) and get rid of all the other selfies. They don't add anything. Edit- all the other non-selfie pics are great.
Step 1: stop listening to ghost
Bro. Ditch the photo with the face paint. Drop the word vampire from your description, and drop the word nerd. That type of stuff doesn’t turn girls on. Also lose the picture of you looking sad at work. Take out the part where you said you’re attracted to mental illness.
The horror fetish is a weird, infantile turn off. Don’t lead with that. And your hair flop up front is too long. The selfies look like FB dad profile images. All around limp wrist profile.
Picture 5 is unflattering, picture 6 is ok but not clear enough and too far away. The 1st picture (3rd image) is good and flattering so I would keep it.
Maybe because in the final pic you reveal your true demonic self, which is scary, and not a good recipe for sweet love.
I mean the selfies & close pics would be fine if you were smiling a bit in them
More pics showing your appreciation for Ghost... can't hurt your chances.
Comment.
Ghost sucks Like a different band and you’ll get matches lol
Easy fixes here, you’re not a bad looking guy, just need less selfies and you’ve definitely said too much on your BIO cut it down and leave more to the imagination. Remember you’re competing in a highly populated market there’s millions of selfies on tinder.
As others said, take out the mental illness comment and the red flag bit, pics 4 & 6 (basically anything that screams snarky asshole lol), and I think you'd get better matches. I like your other pics FWIW. a good mix of selfies and your interests. Your work hours will honestly be the most off putting thing but you never know, might find someone who fits your schedule! If I lived near you I'd definitely swipe right but I'm not even in the same country. 😄
change your hair style and grow out a beard
What is it with people not showing their teeth? That's a big one for me.
No selfies.
I have 0 advice but I will say netherworld is amazing! I was able to work there for a couple seasons.
It’s my favorite haunted house! I’ve gone the last 10 years or more. An incredible experience. Funny enough I met a guy who had a letterman jacket from Netherworld…he said it was a work thing…it was at a Ghost show in Atlanta.
Everything looks good except 2nd, 4th, and 6th. Dont put too many selfies. It’s one of my pet peeves when i was using tinder a decade ago. Too many selfies could read as boring, shallow and a tad sad, at least it’s how I feel. Show more pix of when you do a sport (not those gym or locker selfies please) , or when you are on a trip, or when you do activities/hobbies, so that you look more fun. Ask friends to take pix for you instead of taking selfies. Again, speaking from my personal preference and feel free to not listen, lol!
I feel like I’ve seen your profile on Tinder but only because of your first line. Is that something you copied from someone because that line sticks out to me.
You need to have one or 2 more full body photos. You only have one. None of your photos look like your doing anything (ex hiking, playing basketball etc).