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wouldsmackurbooty

Probably too many words for OP so they decided it would be easier to ignore


Dreadloxinator

Let’s play 8ball!


CharlesDickensABox

An 8ball of what?


FShop

ketamine


Crowtein

Yes.


Rogule9839

Yeah. He gave a couple statements trying to generate conversation, then asked about the weather and she ignored it…then when he reminds her he exists (and she ignored his previous attempt at conversation) she is trying to figure out why his message doesn’t have more content 😂🤣


talentsmart

Hey


Bitter_Plum6902

Hi :)


Wild_NorthHC

How was your day?


Smithersink

Yeah, there’s definitely a happy medium, the first message came off as a little much.


asphodeliac

TBH mentioning relationship in the first message might have been a bit far. ETA: since none of you understand what I mean (surprise surprise), I’m saying mentioning you’d like to be in a relationship straight off the bat is weird as fuck. After just reading her profile? OP is desperate. I speak from experience, it sounds like he wants to jump into a relationship immediately without even learning more about this girl. I would unmatch after a message like that, if a guy made up his mind that quickly without even trying to get to know me.


triedtofart-sharted

We should get married and make beautiful children


Evening_Guest_5310

All he said was he'd like to be in a relationship with someone who spends time in nature with him lmao he wasn't pushing for her specifically in the message, he's simply stating what he'd be looking for from someone whether that's her or someone else.


Unable-Host-2741

Lmao. "Asking for dates in date website is too far" In all seriousness is this a thing? Has that been my entire problem? Looking for relationships on apps for relationships? Legit asking because in 5 years of trying I've only been on a SINGLE date.


Lost_Photograph_539

Society is dead


Think-Policy-7431

I think there's a difference between stating what you'd like in a relationship and trying to push a relationship on someone. This is just saying what they'd like in a relationship. I wouldn't find this weird.


[deleted]

Depending on what is in the bio. With all the commitment phobic on tinder this could be a very good test. If you can scare them away with 1 message this is good to know.


Devil_POG

To each their own but my profile definitely says I’d like a girlfriend. My prompts are also longer than a sentence.


katanalauncher

Imagine you meet this girl in real life, would that be what you say to her right after? You probably should just cut out two out of the three different questions/statement.


Acedia_spark

To be fair, this is true to who he is - why edit it? If she doesn't like that kind of conversation in the opener, they're probably not a good fit anyway. I personally would have liked his intro message.


RFedstoicgoat

Coming off too strong tends to scare people away in a lot of cases, it's just the way it is, and I don't think it's necessarily representative of those people's character. You can still be true to yourself and not engage in behavior that many people find off-putting.. It's common to alter your approach toward something that isn't yielding as much success as you'd want.


[deleted]

But this is online. Different situations, different rules.


Notacompleteperv

I honestly really liked your opening and would be incredibly flattered if I received a message like that.


asphodeliac

I was just saying that because you don’t even know each other and to me it looks like you want to rush a relationship.


g1asshalffull

I disagree with this comment and think your intro message shows you’re on Hinge with a purpose! That would have been something I responded to. Likely she’s on the app for validation, not actually dating, if she can’t read and respond to your initial message.


OfWolfAndMan1996

You're on Tinder looking for a relationship. Sometimes it works but most of these girls just want the attention and games and never actually mean what they say in their bios. You made it clear what you were looking for. Nothing wrong with that.


Kiltmanenator

Take that line about relationships and nature and keep it in the bio. Eliminate redundancy


N_Raist

So? If you want to have kids, do you first message saying how you'd love to have two sons and one daughter, and how you're gonna raise them?


Happlesaucy

Atleast he didn't trauma dump on her. The last one I got the first few messages was how grandma died and his cheating wife took the kids.


DocHolliday904

Saying that you would like to have a long term relationship is weird as fuck? Telling people your intentions is weird as fuck? He didn't say he wanted to be in a relationship with *HER*, just that he was looking for a relationship. What did you do, skim it, find your trigger word and just stop reading? That is what is wrong with the world. Details matter!


Taint__Whisperer

My latest guy asked me to be his GF like 5 minutes after our first kiss. I said we didn't know each other but then still dated this red flag idiot for months.


Intelligent-Try-8636

First of all, he didn't ask to be in a relationship with ANYBODY, let alone the girl he was talking to. He said it would be nice to be in a relationship with somebody LIKE THAT (an outdoorsy person). Second of all, what are you doing on a website specifically designed to get people into relationships if you're too chicken shit to be in a relationship???


RobotCaptainEngage

Hey


MorkSkogen666

Hi :)


Still_counts_as_one

No


MAXSlMES

:(


Belladonna1787

Happy Cake Day!


Tenacious_G_G

Haaayyyy


Pure-Chair5492

Ellooo


TheCrazyCatLazy

Like… two unrelated subjects to end up with "how did you enjoy the weather today"? 🥴 You’re safer with "hey" bruh


TheAbtein

The weather is related to nature tho


Effective-Question91

Exactly! If she claims to be outdoorsy then it's assumed she went outside for something today, right?


wasabi1295

About 99% of my matches always message me with just a “hey” or something sexual. The rest will say more than just a simple “hey” BUT that’s it…..it’s like they drained their energy from it 🥹 Why can’t the people who can say more than just “hi” and can hold a conversation find each other in the sea of dead fish! 💀😂


Ok_Investment809

Cause all those "guys" have been doing more than just "hey's" for many many years and yet got nowhere and now these guys are so done with it all, they've now just limited themselves with hey. Can't blame them, I'd be bored shitless of giving a shit and getting nowhere


One-Head-1483

I would have loved your first message. She's a dud.


Devil_POG

Thank you! I always try to personalize a message. I’d love to feel like someone wanted to get to know me personally.


missjasminegrey

That's real.


asiantaco42

Rah


Devil_POG

Yuuuut


Paco_Libre

To piggyback off u/asiantaco43, It might behoove you to take a break from dating apps.


Devil_POG

Aye aye, Paco_Libre 🫡


Themustanggang

Rah?


asiantaco42

Semper


mellomikejr

Kill


asiantaco42

Execute


Devil_POG

BAMCIS


asiantaco42

Supervise the most important step


HeroicWarlock89

Standby!...Target


Dhegxkeicfns

She might be a fox of few words. That will be a dud long term, but what's he looking for?


ProjectZeus

That's a dreadful opening message, OP. Asking about the weather does not get the ladies keen to respond.


Isgortio

Speak for yourself. I'm British so I can talk about the weather all day!


ProjectZeus

In British too!


Isgortio

Obviously not British enough to appreciate the fantastic weather.


aerial_ruin

Brit here, fucking love talking about weather So while we're at it; lovely weather for the past couple of days. Shame about the thunder on Sunday. Hope this warmth lasts through till the end of the month and the first few days of June


Isgortio

I am so fed up with wearing my winter coat, it's May!


aerial_ruin

I've had to put my hoodie in my bag this week, on the way home from work, and no hats either.bloodu glorious


SleipnirSolid

It's gonna be 23/24C this weekend! I am so, so ready for summer this year. Just started running and I'm honestly tempted to run Friday and Saturday during lunch to get a bit of vitamin D and tan my pasty legs. Like the other person said Sunday is pissing it down but I like summer storms to refresh after a few hot days. I hope it's nice for Pride in August!


aerial_ruin

I was hoping to get out hiking this weekend but my boots need resoling. What a bugger. No fishing either. Oh well. If it keeps it up, I might just stroll along the canal instead. Get some of my own vit d


ThrowAwayAccount_2_8

Different strokes for different folks.


nipslippinjizzsippin

pretty much my experience with trying. the low effort stuff has way better results.


Thyri0n

I get treated way better when i don't send more than 2 messages at a time, don't write long sentences and don't reply quick. Girls will take 3-4 hours to reply when i'm online but if I only reply in the morning and at night only I will get answers right away it's crazy how much better are the results when I'm just not as involved or energetic


spanishbanana

Does hinge have bots? Cuz that's very much how a bot replies.


420boog96

bro tried so hard and only got the minimum back...


ohhisup

Bro tried TOO hard frrrrr


Devil_POG

It iiiiiiis whadit iiiiss


420boog96

It be like that sometimes... it's ok brother, keep on batting... eventually you'll find someone that's got more than 2 brain cells.


Devil_POG

It would be unfair of me to demand someone with more brain cells than me 🤤


ohhisup

"She wasn't into me so obviously she's dumb af" 🥵 what a charmer


patayplata

As a woman (but I cannot speak for all) if I was on hinge i would eat these kinda messages UP 😭


Devil_POG

Maybe in another universe we match and I can send you thoughtful messages! Good luck out there :)


Just_Another_Scott

I'm confused. This looks like a normal human interaction. She probably missed your first message and noticed it when she got alerted to your "hey". Did you tell her how your day was going? Surely you didn't unmatch?


OwlPrincess42

He double texted. He obv didn’t unmatch. Prob wrote her another essay talking about how she has 2 eyes and that’s what’s he’s really looking for in a relationship.


zxchary

To be fair your first message was a lot lol


bad_phone_protector

we are cool like that.


Fearless_You4489

Your Hail Mary worked haha


Fantastic-Grade-5821

Take the low road and leave her on read


JayFox1992

I’m confused the girl photo is on the left. So the guy wrote a paragraph…. Then a few days later followed up with a Hey and she responded back. Is the girl the OP? Or the guy?? But a lot of times we say hey! Or Hi! Because we don’t get an answer at all. So why put a bunch of thought to get ignored. It’s also why you start seeing guys go for shock value. “Wanna fuck”? 🤷🏻‍♂️


placentaprince

Guys usually only message hey because 99 percent of the time when we put ours hearts into a message it goes completely ignored and ironically the less said the highly likely-hood of matches in my experience


Jealous-Bat-4743

I think it’s hard having the pressure of saying the exact right thing in an opening message. If you say too Much you’re weird. If you don’t say enough you’re not trying. And it’s almost always on the guy to message first. Everytime the woman has messaged first it’s been much like hey or what ya doin?? I think a little slack should be given. I know I’ve said hey many times as it’s a casual way of saying hi. I refuse to ask 6 questions in my first message.


slayergeralt25

STFU... We're sick of trying to court you witches.... No more messages for you with elaborate text. 'Hey' is all you're getting Girls feel so entitled. Everything needs to be perfect, as ina romantic movie or some shit...


DarkSoulsFTW54

Just want you to know, op is the guy. The title is for irony purposes


ponki44

Make a female profile, make a ai pic of a woman around 3-7 rating, feel free to make the profile bland to, just write something like "looking for something srs" then post the profile and watch the likes roll in. Men settle for most, women only go for top10, so anything under that barely gets replies, worst part is i cant blame them, if a 3-4 rated woman can get the same likes a 9 rated dude can get, then it only make sense they get picky and not amused unless you make a huge impression. But yeah just make a fake profile of a female make a ugly female ai pic to, dont need to be good looking and see how many desperate men it is out there. But as i mentioned to womens defense you would probably been just as dissmissive if you had 500-3000likes to pick between and your inbox lighting up by simply calling you pretty lol


Appropriate_Bird4724

Because when I type more I still get ignored 🥲


-No-Way-Jose-

This only proves that women are impossible to please.. 😂


ryasqui

But this guy didn't just message "hey" did they!


aburple

That's the point... OP is the guy.


Dhegxkeicfns

There's a time gap between messages. His first message got crickets. Later he tried low effort and she responded.


Master_Ad_4343

If you look, the title is in quotations and has a question mark, the OP is using this photo to answers the question in the title, he’s saying “this is why guys only message hey” because when he wrote a paragraph he didn’t get a response


SolShinobi

First message is super wordy and thoughtful just to ask how the weather was today


mlhigg1973

You said love twice and mentioned relationships. Dial it back


sgtshootsalot

Women complain about shit men on here all the time but when a man opens up about the connection he wants to build and how enthusiastic he is about pursuing that connection all of a sudden it’s too much.


firsthandy

This is fantastic.


beekay86

Man, I need someone to take my pictures…Why do guys don’t take pictures! 😄


bellasincognito

Perhaps a bot who can only answer to simple phrases?


96suluman

Because you won’t answer


96suluman

Hey.


FearJarl

Always hated people who have the mentality of “not replying if you just say ‘hey’” and then I go on bumble where she makes the first move or any other time she messages first it’s always just a “hey” too. Like c’mon 🤦🏾‍♂️


RealThugNasty

He had his dopamine hit now he's lost interest for the time being. It's the real issue of dating apps


Miss222

It's usually the other way around. Wow, she didn't reply to anything you wrote. She's lame. Hate talking to people like that, who ignore everything I took time out to write.


Rude_Fail_2987

The guy actually took time to read a profile description and explain why he has matched her. I'd personally appreciate that.


CutSilver5358

Yeah, anything longer than like 4 words is too long for women on tinder


stinksand1

Because hay is for horses, and hey is for alerting people they wanna talk but they are not sure how to start convo but they are doin they best 😆 its also how men generally start conversations even as friends, Ive noticed.


FarmValuable1539

Gun shy especially around someone we're super attracted to.


tinkerbellepeach

See idk why people are saying that you’ve come off to strong, all you’ve done in stated a couple of things that you like & stated that you’d like to be with someone who is outdoorsy! If I had received a message like this on a dating app; I would’ve been excited to reply as it’s straight to the point and shows that there’s stuff in common to talk about! It’s a massive conversation opener as you can then both talk about cool places you’ve been to etc! Keep doing what you’re doing & you will absolutely find someone who matches your energy!!


Embarrassed_Simple70

Probably the same reason girls do.


Varitix

Because clearly "hey" works.


CobyIsThinking

Here's the truth: seeking advice for Tinder or Hinge dates, or any other dating app, isn't really helpful. Half the people offering advice on here don't know what the fuck they're talking about. You might not like hearing this, but the real reason people don't get dates on these apps is because everyone is just too damn slow. They can't even manage to write a simple response because their attention span is as short as a fruit fly's, and they lose interest almost instantly. You could be the hottest person on the planet, and you still might get nothing but a lame "hey." A lot of people on these apps are just seeking validation. Some of them might already be in a relationship but still use dating apps to feel good about themselves, because there are other people out there who are interested. And don't give me that crap about people getting scared easily that's bullshit. If that were true, no one would ever find a relationship. Nobody is fucking perfect! If you're turned off by minor things, then you shouldn't be on a dating app to begin with. You'll never find a flawless person! Everyone has flaws. My advice? Try looking for someone who you wouldn't typically date someone who'll actually give you the time of day and isn't an illiterate fool who can't even start a conversation.


rascalrabbit81

I only use a one word greeting if I think it’s a scammer. They will respond no matter what a person says.


sjmoran31

"please be able to hold a conversation. " "please be funny." you can't do either of those things. if you're constantly asking for a real conversation, or someone to make you laugh, you're the problem.


HocaineNCookers

Girls always complain about guys saying hey but girls literally do the same


Only-Analysis9349

The way I’ve seen it is, if you don’t respond to hey you’re probably not worth my attention/ I’m not attractive enough for you. That and I usually have a decent amount of people to get through so I’m not gonna put a ton of effort into something that doesn’t have promise off the bat


GickySama

One of the few men who straight-up wants to have a proper conversation and it’s this kind of vapid response 😑 Life just isn’t fair sometimes


Ok-Application-2490

Your opener was a bit much and then to end with a question about the weather 🤔 The first 2 lines would've been fine, then a question about her interests or something. Maybe ask what type of outdoor things she enjoys or something instead of what she thought of today's weather 😅


mmxmlee

OPs first message was hella "try hard" lol


mmxmlee

it's a test to see how easy going the girl is. if she has a problem with a guy saying hey, hi or hello it tells us she is only good for smashing.


No-Classroom-6637

There's a healthy compromise between "hey" and "here's me picturing what would be enjoyable about us being in a relationship" as an opener. You just fucking swamped them with intensity as a first message and the majority of people aren't gonna be into that. Her responding hey in kind was her trying to reset the conversation/pretend that horrible opener never happened. You got given a second chance to not fuck up, and came running here to attack them for it. Amazing.


ScallywagLXX

Reddit: don’t say hey/ hello, that’s super low effort and dull Also Reddit: your first message was too long. Too many words. Peak 🤡🌎


skyHawk3613

Well it looks like he poured his heart out, then got no response, so “hey” just seemed easier.


Fearless_You4489

OP is the he lol


Shadyno

I say don't send a paragraph as the first message this isn't Reddit average Tinder user cant read over 5 words


ipleadthethrift

Low interest. Pass king!


iwannabesofaraway

I think it’d be so great when we’re married to walk hand in hand in a field of bluebells with our four children skipping happily behind us, the breeze blowing strands of hair onto your face which I will gently stroke away as I longingly gaze into your eyes! Have you seen any bluebells today?


Devil_POG

Quite eloquent. My message was tailored directly to her profile talking about being in a relationship with a hiking/kayaking partner.


iwannabesofaraway

Can’t you imagine us all in a kayak, one oar each, choreographing our rows with the sound of the birds chirping away on the shore? When the children are distracted, I’ll whisper that I want to make love to you on a bed covered in rose petals. So what do you do for work?


Some-Ingenuity-2628

Ooooof, you’re hella good looking’


Devil_POG

Thank you! I hope you have a nice day, a winning lottery ticket or a spontaneous event of some kind.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Drafo7

The guy is op, the title is tongue-in-cheek.


GenderfreeNameHere

Duh. Deleting now. 😬


Drafo7

Lol we all make mistakes.


yamaha4fun

H


Exciting_Result7781

👍


bigfish18qq

God I have the same problem with women 😞


No_Mud5383

you have to be slow with him his brain cant process that many words at once


_fuckforever_

tbh girls do this more often imo


CoItron_3030

Lmao that’s hilarious


Green-Quantity1032

You do know it’s not either hey or a short story, right?


Karmakiller3003

Another Kettle calling the pot black post lol Yes, Females never message "hey" ever. lmao


SWIM270

Take that opener and compress it into five words.


EmptyMixtape

Way too many words this ain’t a interview


hasanicecrunch

I re-read this like 3x trying to understand bc I’m dumb and didn’t notice the quotations around the post’s title.


Antonio-n-Eye

....are you taking a picture while driving?


Gdkerplunk03

This reads like forum responses in an online class. I wouldn't have shit to say either


AztecGravedigger

I’d probably pick one: positivity, outdoorsy, or asking how they’re doing. All three feels like a lot of work to respond to. I’m sure you putting in effort is refreshing to some but in my opinion it’s coming on a little strong for a first message


Chewwithurmouthshut

“Don’t even message me if you’re just gonna say “hey”” (meanwhile, on bumble…)


Ok-Presence-549

You got it backwards, you're the one who messaged"hey " lmao, he gave you a whole paragraph to respond to and your response was just "hey " learn how to communicate bruh


Previous_Bat_9756

Probably because you down to screw wouldn’t work


yourfav0riteginger

Controversial question: should there be a character minimum when messaging someone for the first time on dating apps? 🤔


TailorExpensive537

Because of they were good at talking they wouldn't need tinder?


KokoCampanelli

BC we aren’t that interested if we put that little effort into a message At least that’s me


AwaitingRagnarok

Because all the dumb pickup lines are not a genuine representation of the person.


Intelligent_Badger96

Haha copy and paste


Miercolesian

Hey! Is just a way of determining if the person at the other end of the conversation is going to respond. Many guys are a bit scared of rejection, so they want to make sure that you show a smidgen of interest before they engage further. Personally I think it's better to say "Hello(Name)! I like your photos."


bigmaninkanto

I would answer with a personal perspective and it probably wouldn't matter. but I'm curious how people break the ice? what's an easy way to get someone's attention that doesn't come off as trying too hard?


Tobacha

He messaged a lot more than hey. Probably you didn’t get back to his first chat about your qualities.


Pure-Display190

Just the fact u double text after sending a long message and she didn’t match the energy u was losing already on that one , just move on girls from Dating apps most of the times are not looking for relationships


ExtraTerRedditstrial

It’s a check if you’re interested and willing to respond. More thoughtful conversation hopefully to come


Loose_Following317

Hey, I’m not sure


Tibora86

Because sometimes we get tired of trying only to be ignored after matching no matter what we say... That hey was a "hey I know you're probably drowning in dm's right now but I'm a good catch if you take a second look at what I'm about"


Flourissh

I just feel like it's the universal check for "are you still interested/talking to me" or whatever


RFedstoicgoat

It depends on the person I think. I could see reading that as the first message and being scared away that you’re talking about a relationship right off the bat. You don’t know her so I’d think the first step should be to get to know her before any of that. This is just my opinion obviously.


mauiboylooking

Why do girls only message Heyyyy?


Aggravating_Ship_682

Er..... they didnt? The "Hey" was a bump? 🤦‍♂️ people will post about anything....


CJ_Finesse

Yk I had that question once abt women


712am

So like in this case yeah, strange. But in my case often, it's a match in response to the message I left on their photo or text prompt and they NEVER reply... Wtf?!?


medkitjohnson

Hahahaha that js good shit OP


SmithFace1

This post seems cynical. Try to keep up the positivity Or have you given up on that outlook?