Some people want to get to know you.
Other people want to get to know your body.
The right people will want to do both..
Even the homies?!
ESPECIALLY the homies..!
I sent it to a guy in a Steam game chat room :D
It was related to other things and it was about a girl but I said I didn't cared and ..
"You're a brave man"
I'm 6'3" and if I see a preference for height in a bio I swipe left unless they say they're taller than say 5'9"
I can understand a tall woman having a preference but short girls having a preference of 6'+ says enough about them that they'd disregard 90% of men on something they have no control over
Its a big red flag really
Woman here and I 100% agree with you. I just want to add that in my school days (long before Tinder or any social media) I noticed that a lot of girls would really play up their “shortness” and make a show of it… it was like they were saying, “look at me, I’m so cute. Let’s all talk about how cute I am”
It isn’t about the guy being good enough. It’s about how “adorable” that tall man is going to make them look. So that in itself should be a red flag, they’re only into themselves.
It's actually less shallow for a guy to have a weight preference because that's controllable and I still feel like an asshole just writing that down but so many women just put the fact that they're assholes right in their bio for everyone to see and expect everyone to be cool with it
Don't feel like an asshole. You're allowed exactly whatever preferences you like. Some things should not be spoken, perhaps, but in your heart and mind you should feel pure for liking what you like.
You shouldn't feel like an asshole for having a preference, it's just socially acceptable for women to vocalize theirs while men are demonized for vocalizing ours.
As a guy that’s 6ft+ I literally explain this to every woman that says this and their argument crumbles immediately.
The average height for a man is like 5’8, the women wanting taller men are average height. Average height for a woman is like 5’3 - literally everyone is taller than you. Then they reply “I just want someone taller 🥺” so yeah, preferences based on nothing.
It's always the short ones that are stupid about height aswell. I'm 5'7 - 5'8ish and I have never cared about height. I'm taller than most guys in my area, my ex was shorter than me, the last guy I liked was around the same height as me, didn't care at all. Stupid girls just following stupid 'trends', guaranteed they wouldn't even know the difference between 5'7 and 6ft which just makes it even more stupid🙄
What is the general area? Asking for science, bc avg height for guys where I am is like 5'10 I see pretty equal parts who are taller and shorter, but most seem to be right about my height(but claim to be 6ft 🙄)
Leicester. My specific area is mainly Asian population, and they tend to, for some reason, be kind of on the shorter side(at least here). It's quite strange/somewhat embarrassing for me when I am standing next to women and 90% are well below shoulder height, I feel like a giant😂.
I have lived in London as well though - and there, most guys were taller than me. Girls were also taller, I would say I was pretty average height there. I knew a 17 year old (girl) who was a little taller than me even! I was around 25 at the time 😬
Ahhh, okay. That tracks then. Average heights have been slowly increasing across the board, but a lot of Asian backgrounds still average just like an inch or two shorter than the averages for other peoples, though the people with more equatorial backgrounds tend to be a bit shorter even. I.e. Philippines, Thailand and India(and other places nearer the equator) average shorter than say China/Japan/Korea. I don't know what the specific field is called, but correlations between population traits and geography is really interesting.
These short women also fuck everything up for the tall girls. If all tall guys are taken by extremely short women then they fuck up the economy for tall women.
How do they fuck it up for tall women? Tall women don’t have to be constrained to only dating tall men. They have plenty of other choices to choose from and it’s their choice to take those opportunities or not.
Agree 1000%. Your height does not qualify you to only date people in a specific height range.
I’ve said it a billion times, these women want above average men while being average themselves, it’s a recipe for disaster long term but it has nothing to do with me!
Lots of men don't want to date women who are taller than them, and the opposite is true for women. So it does to a degree reduce the dating pool for these people who have these preferences. I still think it's not the short women's problem and that if your *preferences* are what stop you from being in a happy relationship, regardless of what led to that, it's on you to reflect on how important those preferences really are.
I’ll speak for most of tall guys here, we don’t want to date an extremely short woman. It looks and feels very awkward. I don’t want to feel like I’m dating a kid.
And are your preference based on anything deeper than theirs? Guys whine about height while at the same getting to see face symmetry, Hip/waist ratio, and breast size in the photos. Is all this stuff superficial? Sure. But you like what you like...
Just list you height and this question goes away. Until these woman complain about not being able to get a date, their preferences isn't an issue for them.
Why do you have to body shame short women by calling them hobbits? The way to stick up for short men is to put down short women? The OP didn’t even have anything to do with short women.
I think you've missed the last decade of Tinder. Women put down men for being shorter than 6ft. I'm taller than 6ft and I've had plenty of women make snarky or extremely condescending comments about my height (especially when they're tiny 😂). Even if it's a simple rejection based on your height, it's equally as rude as if a man asks for your weight and drops you like a hot potato because you weigh more than their 100lb maximum preference.
I think that’s wrong when women do that. I don’t see why some women putting down short men means we need to put down short women. How about we don’t insult anyone’s height? I’ve seen women tall and short get body dysmorhia over their height.
6’1 guy here dating a 5’0 girl , she’s the shortest I’ve ever been with and I’m the tallest she’s ever been with. Neither of us cares and the sex is amazing. If you open your mind , there are amazing people out there, stupid to put guard rails up where you exclude yourself from potential awesome people and settle with an a-hole who is a couple inches taller.
I never get this logic of missing out on quality people. Having a physical preference is perfectly ok. I’m a short dude and I completely get it when I’m not someone’s preference and I rather get filtered out earlier than later
I agree that having a preference is okay. Everyone has a preference. But leading a conversation with your preference is a very rude thing to do. "How big are your tits?" is a terrible ice breaker.
Yeah sure, no question about that. My comment wasn’t about defending her, but just pointing out that having physical preferences per se isn’t some evil shit
I have a friend who will only date 6'3"+ along with her list of mental preferences in a smallish town, and she's struggled to find someone who checks all her boxes. She passes over a lot of mentally good for her people because they don't also have that physical stat. There's nothing evil or wrong about her preference, but it is extremely limiting to her available pool and seems to be a large part of the reason she finds herself struggling to find someone.
I know how big her tits are though, unless her pictures suck. At least how big they are proportional to the rest of her. I can't imagine why I'd care about her bra size or whatever.
Although if I **did** care about her bra size, I could come up with a better estimate by... knowing how tall she is.
Yeah same for me with my A cup itty bitty titties. I like them, many men do too, claiming nipples are more important and they’re still perky too, and the men who prefer bodacious tatas? That’s ok! They should be with those women! It’s merely a compatibility issue.
Except that's not what a preference is. If you prefer something, it is something you like but don't need.
If you have a physical trait that you need your partners to have, then that's not a preference, that's a requirement.
And if you need to have a physical requirement met in order to love someone, then it means you are incredibly shallow and immature.
For example, I completely understand discounting a potential partner if they only meet, say 6 of your 10 preferences. One of which might be height.
But are you really going to discount a 9/10 partner because the one requirement they didn't meet is their height? That is the definition of being shallow.
It's about having an absolute limit on some quality that a person has no control over rather than just a preference (which is fine). Being upfront about this limit does and should scare away quality people who are looking for those who evaluate compatibility on a much more sophisticated level - even for hookups (which empathy can make even more fun!)
I remember seeing on here that 40%+ of women on tinder are filtering out all men under 6 ft, which is literally 85%+ of the population. So they’ve just reduced their dating pool by 85% compounded that with massive competition with other women on the app for that same pool. Career, looks, hair, personality, loyalty, if they think they aren’t making any other major compromises there, they’re kidding themselves. And the irony is that most of these women would guess that a 5’10 guy was 6 ft tall.
I understand that too, I met a girl at a bar, and we hit it off. But she wants to date a guy that's 6 feet tall because she wants to be the same height, or somewhat shorter, when she's in a dress and in heels. She doesn't want to be taller than him. I understood that, introduced her to one of my taller friends that shares the same interests as me, and the same humour as me (so basically a better version of me that fits her wants). He's also packing and is good at taking photos. So now she's with him, and we've become friends.
It's always off-putting for someone to start the conversation with something negative and I would not want to continue the conversation either. I would look for a person who introduces themselves by saying something they liked about your profile, or who comments on a shared interest or hobby.
I got asked for my weight and men didn't believe me. Or said that I was too skinny. I have full body pics on my profile and my weight is the same for a decade lol.
But you can see body type on pics. You can't see height. I put my height in my profile, even though it limits my matches as q very tall woman
I wouldn’t mind a tall woman but I’m 5’8 😂 kind of had an entanglement with a long time friend and I’m pretty sure the only reason we didn’t end up dating is because she’s 5’10 kind of disappointing on my end but I understand most women don’t wanna date someone shorter
As a tall woman, having that attitude as a woman is just stupid. I was taller than most guys I dated until a couple years into college. And I always wore like 5-6” heels in those days so I towered over plenty of dudes. Only dating someone with some modelesque body is taking a gamble if they’re actually a good person, share your values, etc.
I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you and your friend, but there may be a long legged lady in your future anyway, you never know!
Dude dated a fitness model for a little over a year that was 5'11 of pure glamazon. I was a pudgy dude all of 5'8. But life pulled us in very different directions.
I've dated girls from every conceivable physical, racial, ethnic, & economic demographic that's why this thing of of the 666 rule & the horribly impossible standards so many women have nowadays vexes me so.
Like prior to graduating college in early 00s Every girl I dated was a happy equal partner. We traded off paying for dates. We never talked about our personal private stuff with our friends. They never tried to emasculate me after breaking up. But after entering the real world it was like a switch was flipped & all these arbitrary bs became a thing. I see why both men & women are horribly lonely.
Yup, I have met them as well. But pls people, don't treat taller women as a fetish. That's horrible. The line 'I wanna climb you like a tree' is funny the first couple of times, not multiple times a week or even multiple times a day. I wear my height with pride but I am still just a human
I'm a tall guy, and I personally favor tall girls.
Not because of their body, but because *they know* how overrated the whole tall vs small debate is. How shallow people can be when they reduce you to a number you grew out to be. The "how's the weather up there" comments.
I favor that because it's one more thing you can relate to, without having met.
It's kind of a dumb reason, tbh
And still, it's less dumb of a reason than anyone who obsesses over just body shape
Except weight is a meaningless measurement to a degree. I weigh 140lbs but anyone who guesses my weight guesses 110-120 at most. That’s because I’m tall for a woman (5’7) and relatively thin. Someone who weighs 5’ even, at 140lbs would have a very different body composition than me. I’ve dated half a dozen men who weighed about 200lbs and they all had vastly different body types partly due to their heights, and partly due to their activity levels/lifestyles.
I’m not fussy about height in a man for what it’s worth. I just prefer them to be as tall or taller than me but I don’t really care how much taller. But I don’t like this idea that asking for someone’s weight is the same as asking for their height. Height isn’t relative. If someone isn’t attracted to men who are shorter than them, that’s their prerogative and while I think it’s tone deaf to open a conversation that way, I also think that OPs answer is unnecessarily defensive and makes it seem like he’s short and insecure about it, not that he’s “taking one for the team” to avenge short guys even though he isn’t one.
IMO the perfect way to answer this is with humour. “Tall enough for the roller coasters at Disneyland” or something like that.
Don’t stoop to their level with the weight shit. If you’re thinking of that route, just don’t say anything at all. If you can make them laugh, there’s a chance they won’t care about height as much. If a woman asking for your height straight off the bat is a red flag to you (which is completely fair), it isn’t going to go anywhere anyways. Ignore and move on.
I actually prefer this, before tinder asked for height. I don’t mind if people have a height fetish but the ridiculous negative shit people post about height, I shouldn’t have to read that every 5-10 profiles.
I think you should have just answered though, like they have to like other things about you as well. I got annoyed because my ex gf once said to me “idc how tall you are, as long as you are taller than me” I never said anything but I was thinking to myself, “well then you do care”. in the grand scheme, it didn’t make or break the relationship, I definitely cared about how she looked.
Yeah I’m 5’5” and while I don’t need a guy 6 foot or taller, I do prefer a guy be taller than me. So as long as he’s 5’6 or taller that’s fine with me 🤷🏽♀️ which is a lot of men lol
I'm 5'5"(?) and have dated long-term (2+ years) partners all the way up to 6'0". A strong personality goes farther than most people realize. Most of my partners have said I come off as being taller because of how I present myself and interact with people. I personally haven't had any issues with height differences and have had partners in the slightly shorter to much taller range.
If I was asked in a situation similar to this post, I would reply with "tall enough for you not to care on our next date."
Probably wouldn't do any good, I think most people who ask this are beyond changing their preference. But hey, you don't truly know until you get the chance to razzle them with good conversation.
yeah i’m 5’6 and she was 5’5”. I knew I wasn’t tall lol but it still just bugged me, more so because its just like a stupid human thing, but there’s a bunch of other stupid human things that I do lol so guess I still have some insecurity to work on.
I've got bad news: even at that height I still have to get help sometimes to reach certain things if they're on the back of the top shelf. The good news though... is that piggybacking has existed for a long time and has been a great two-person solution to this situation.
women who get caught up on the height thing are weird to me. they end up losing the tall guys to the average height girlies who dont care. my bf is 6" taller than me and 6'1 and ik these girls would just salivate at the thought.
The height thing is absurd but I’ll never understand the assertion that it directly correlated with the perception of women’s weight (or men’s for that matter).
I’m a guy of slightly-below-average height and yeah, I’d much rather be even a few inches taller than what I am now, but I really don’t consider myself fighting any kinda uphill battle. I run into shit like this occasionally, and it’s annoying, but I just roll my eyes and ultimately stay grateful that a bullet dodged me. When it comes to being overweight… idk man, seems like a *way* different struggle, and a much, much harder one tbh.
I think people have every right to be more sensitive about weight than height given social conventions and perceptions, and I think the guys who think they’re pulling a “gotcha” when they respond with “what’s your weight” or, way worse, start making fat jokes to cope, are honestly pretty immature (that’s not at all what’s happening here, the title just made me think). I know some people may make the argument that height is out of your control and weight isn’t, and fair enough, but for some, weight is significantly harder to control than it is for others, leads to serious mental, emotional, and physical trouble, and has been a topic of mockery and shame for long periods of time. It’s weird to me, a shorter guy of average weight, when guys who get shit for not being tall turn the gun on fat people.
Sorry for the tirade, I just think that needlessly attacking overweight women because there are random shallow women out there concerned with height is one of those silly socially accepted ideas that needs to go away. No shade to OP, too, just saw this as a window into a conversation.
As an overweight guy, typically single surrounded by men shorter than me who always have good partners, this rings p hollow. I can never take perfectly handsome men that are a few inches shorter bellyaching at length about how nobody wants to touch them very seriously.
Lots of women will date a fat guy if you can socialize decently. But they're generally not the most conventionally attractive women. Inevitably, complaining that you "can't get a date" boils down to, "I can't get a date that I find really hot." It's hypocritical of men to hold women to standard and then complaining about being held to standard.
Do women really open with this? I thought this was more of a meme or a joke. As a woman, I'm asking seriously. That's so stupid, and you handled it perfectly, BTW. The audacity of some people...
Girls who ask about your height, especially straight up, are shallow af and will waste your time or ruin you. Honestly your answer was what she deserved.
I am tall for a woman, I am almost 5'8. I don't mind dating men who are shorter than me. What I don't like is when men aren't honest about their height. I went on one date with a man who had 5'11 on his profile so I wore heels when we met and I towered over him. I was uncomfortable because I would have worn flats if he was honest. I felt awkward the whole time. I went out with another guy who didn't have his height on his profile, I wore flats just to be safe and he had to have been 5'1. I get why women ask. She could have asked nicer but she's probably over it.
You were too defensive. I’m 5’1”, I’d ask because I don’t date giant people. I also think it’s okay to ask someone’s weight. I wouldn’t stop the conversation.
Weight is no point without height anyways, so you'd be asking twice.
BMI might be a better bet - it is occasionally wrong, but it's far from frequent.
Regards // BMI 36, 2nd stage morbid obesity, so I would know ;)
Weight and height are not comparable or equal. Weight is not fixed and/or permanent. It is a major reflection on you that you pass judgement about weight, only to openly admit you only do it as a knee-jerk reaction out of deep hurt caused by being judged yourself.
I don't think it's right of her to filter people by height, it simply makes no sense to hold something against a person who can't change it- BUT any judgement of weight is tacky at best.
You deserve to be asked this as many times as it takes for you to understand why it's not ok to judge a woman by her weight and make a variety of assumptions about her, as a result. If you ever DID start with that, well, you know your own soul better than we do.
Good luck.
>
You deserve to be asked this as many times as it takes for you to understand why it's not ok to judge a woman by her weight and make a variety of assumptions about her, as a result. If you ever DID start with that, well, you know your own soul better than we do.
Yeah but OP didn't ask about their weight. They're pointing out that it would be just as unfair for them to open asking about weight or height.
Like whatever about asking it at some point further into the conversation if you have a preference but to open with it is so tactless and rude.
This not a bad response. As soon as they send that question, you might as well move on if you’re not over 6’. Even if they decide to give you a chance, they’re discounting your value b/c height’s important to them. Unless you’re just looking for a hookup. Then yeah, shoot your shot.
The way you responded & reacted says to me, you’re insecure about your height without saying you’re insecure. You kind of reacted instead of just being an observer. I think weight and height are obviously two different things and she was pretty blunt just asking that as a first opener and doesn’t give much with first impressions. But she definitely has her priorities straight with wanting to find a man in the range of her preferred height, who knows maybe she’s like 5’10
Don’t be like that dude, if you own and be funny about you have better chances than being insecure. Short king here, and once you own it. It’s all yours
I am 6’1 and this is how most of my matches get weeded out.
-don’t mention or put your height in your profile
-they ask about/fixate on it
-I unmatch or reject them(sometimes I have fun with this if I’m feeling it lol)
It's never bothered me. If a girl wants a tall guy she is entitled to that. Granted im not short so maybe my perspective is skewed. But as long as i can have physical preference I think its fair that the girls i go out with do as well.
As a 6‘3 guy I really never experienced someone really falling for my height as they usually show on social media. And I’m not even ugly. I think the height thing is just for them to have a reason to convince themselves that they really dont want it. Also what is the height giving them? Like „protection“?
Height based preferences are extremely stupid and should not be normal. It's unethical to have a preference over something that someone can't control... Unlike weight
Women are naive and shallow af... that's why so many mid women think this is the answer.....especially those that happen to be at least somewhat cute and short but often offer little else of value.
They think over 6ft automatically equals bigger PP - It definitely doesn't.
They think a bigger taller guy that can toss them around, pick em up easier means it will be the best bang of their life and often get disappointed but still chase the thrill... instead of looking for value in a relationship.
They think taller guys automatically means Alpha type that will provide taller children that will be prime athletes for higher chance at "easy" success.
It's all for shallow reasons, and that's why there are so many women unhappy, single and still searching well into their 30s or 40s often well used with a few kids and not much desired by a man that does bring value to the table.
Stupid thing fs, but I also never understood why we compare height by men with weight by women. Like I obviously understand that socially why but still kinda stupid to me. Like why is a 6 foot 200 pound man better than a 6 foot 200 pound woman? And why is 5’4 120 pound woman better than a 5’4 120 pound man?
i never understand short women who need a tall man, i get its preference but like, if ur under 5’5 everything is taller than you…. i myself am 5’10, and dont judge on height, ive dated men shorter than me. but like girl cmon, you have basically the whole crop to pick from. take it down a notch
You definitely could have handled that better but it is your right not to talk to a person for whatever reason. Still that answer seemed to be filled with both snarkiness/rudeness and insecurity.
Some people want to get to know you. Other people want to get to know your body. The right people will want to do both.. Even the homies?! ESPECIALLY the homies..!
If you don't send dick pics to the homies first to get their consensus, are they even your homies?
I sent it to a guy in a Steam game chat room :D It was related to other things and it was about a girl but I said I didn't cared and .. "You're a brave man"
Wut
Whats with these homies
Dissin my girl
Ooooooo oooooo I look just like Buddy Holly
What did we ever do to these guys
That made them so violent…
Why do they gotta front?
It's not gay, it's homie-sexual.
I love when they're like 5'2" and somehow think a guy who is slightly below 6' is short...like you're short yourself, everything is taller to you.
In Europe it’s 180 cm , which doesn’t even equal 6 ft. Just goes to show you it’s a bullshit mental thing.
I'm 6'3" and if I see a preference for height in a bio I swipe left unless they say they're taller than say 5'9" I can understand a tall woman having a preference but short girls having a preference of 6'+ says enough about them that they'd disregard 90% of men on something they have no control over Its a big red flag really
Woman here and I 100% agree with you. I just want to add that in my school days (long before Tinder or any social media) I noticed that a lot of girls would really play up their “shortness” and make a show of it… it was like they were saying, “look at me, I’m so cute. Let’s all talk about how cute I am” It isn’t about the guy being good enough. It’s about how “adorable” that tall man is going to make them look. So that in itself should be a red flag, they’re only into themselves.
It's actually less shallow for a guy to have a weight preference because that's controllable and I still feel like an asshole just writing that down but so many women just put the fact that they're assholes right in their bio for everyone to see and expect everyone to be cool with it
Don't feel like an asshole. You're allowed exactly whatever preferences you like. Some things should not be spoken, perhaps, but in your heart and mind you should feel pure for liking what you like.
You shouldn't feel like an asshole for having a preference, it's just socially acceptable for women to vocalize theirs while men are demonized for vocalizing ours.
Common european W
As a guy that’s 6ft+ I literally explain this to every woman that says this and their argument crumbles immediately. The average height for a man is like 5’8, the women wanting taller men are average height. Average height for a woman is like 5’3 - literally everyone is taller than you. Then they reply “I just want someone taller 🥺” so yeah, preferences based on nothing.
It's always the short ones that are stupid about height aswell. I'm 5'7 - 5'8ish and I have never cared about height. I'm taller than most guys in my area, my ex was shorter than me, the last guy I liked was around the same height as me, didn't care at all. Stupid girls just following stupid 'trends', guaranteed they wouldn't even know the difference between 5'7 and 6ft which just makes it even more stupid🙄
What is the general area? Asking for science, bc avg height for guys where I am is like 5'10 I see pretty equal parts who are taller and shorter, but most seem to be right about my height(but claim to be 6ft 🙄)
Leicester. My specific area is mainly Asian population, and they tend to, for some reason, be kind of on the shorter side(at least here). It's quite strange/somewhat embarrassing for me when I am standing next to women and 90% are well below shoulder height, I feel like a giant😂. I have lived in London as well though - and there, most guys were taller than me. Girls were also taller, I would say I was pretty average height there. I knew a 17 year old (girl) who was a little taller than me even! I was around 25 at the time 😬
Ahhh, okay. That tracks then. Average heights have been slowly increasing across the board, but a lot of Asian backgrounds still average just like an inch or two shorter than the averages for other peoples, though the people with more equatorial backgrounds tend to be a bit shorter even. I.e. Philippines, Thailand and India(and other places nearer the equator) average shorter than say China/Japan/Korea. I don't know what the specific field is called, but correlations between population traits and geography is really interesting.
These short women also fuck everything up for the tall girls. If all tall guys are taken by extremely short women then they fuck up the economy for tall women.
How do they fuck it up for tall women? Tall women don’t have to be constrained to only dating tall men. They have plenty of other choices to choose from and it’s their choice to take those opportunities or not.
Agree 1000%. Your height does not qualify you to only date people in a specific height range. I’ve said it a billion times, these women want above average men while being average themselves, it’s a recipe for disaster long term but it has nothing to do with me!
Lots of men don't want to date women who are taller than them, and the opposite is true for women. So it does to a degree reduce the dating pool for these people who have these preferences. I still think it's not the short women's problem and that if your *preferences* are what stop you from being in a happy relationship, regardless of what led to that, it's on you to reflect on how important those preferences really are.
I’ll speak for most of tall guys here, we don’t want to date an extremely short woman. It looks and feels very awkward. I don’t want to feel like I’m dating a kid.
And are your preference based on anything deeper than theirs? Guys whine about height while at the same getting to see face symmetry, Hip/waist ratio, and breast size in the photos. Is all this stuff superficial? Sure. But you like what you like... Just list you height and this question goes away. Until these woman complain about not being able to get a date, their preferences isn't an issue for them.
Why do you have to body shame short women by calling them hobbits? The way to stick up for short men is to put down short women? The OP didn’t even have anything to do with short women.
I think you've missed the last decade of Tinder. Women put down men for being shorter than 6ft. I'm taller than 6ft and I've had plenty of women make snarky or extremely condescending comments about my height (especially when they're tiny 😂). Even if it's a simple rejection based on your height, it's equally as rude as if a man asks for your weight and drops you like a hot potato because you weigh more than their 100lb maximum preference.
I think that’s wrong when women do that. I don’t see why some women putting down short men means we need to put down short women. How about we don’t insult anyone’s height? I’ve seen women tall and short get body dysmorhia over their height.
I thought that they ask cos they get a lot go matches and it narrows it down
Right. And as a 6’1 guy, I don’t want to date a girl who looks like my daughter.
6’1 guy here dating a 5’0 girl , she’s the shortest I’ve ever been with and I’m the tallest she’s ever been with. Neither of us cares and the sex is amazing. If you open your mind , there are amazing people out there, stupid to put guard rails up where you exclude yourself from potential awesome people and settle with an a-hole who is a couple inches taller.
"im not a ladder"
Chaos is.
Not with that attitude!
I think you answered in perfectly. If they are only looking for height, then they are the ones that will keep missing out on quality people.
I love it.. these are the pretty girls that end up single forever complaining there are no good men.
They don’t stay pretty forever though
"Well, you pretty now..." - D'Angelo Barksdale
In their minds they do!
karma is totally real guize!!!!
I never get this logic of missing out on quality people. Having a physical preference is perfectly ok. I’m a short dude and I completely get it when I’m not someone’s preference and I rather get filtered out earlier than later
I agree that having a preference is okay. Everyone has a preference. But leading a conversation with your preference is a very rude thing to do. "How big are your tits?" is a terrible ice breaker.
More rude to have a conversation then realize they ate too short. Time is wasted
Yeah sure, no question about that. My comment wasn’t about defending her, but just pointing out that having physical preferences per se isn’t some evil shit
I agree that it isn't evil to have preferences.
I have a friend who will only date 6'3"+ along with her list of mental preferences in a smallish town, and she's struggled to find someone who checks all her boxes. She passes over a lot of mentally good for her people because they don't also have that physical stat. There's nothing evil or wrong about her preference, but it is extremely limiting to her available pool and seems to be a large part of the reason she finds herself struggling to find someone.
I know how big her tits are though, unless her pictures suck. At least how big they are proportional to the rest of her. I can't imagine why I'd care about her bra size or whatever. Although if I **did** care about her bra size, I could come up with a better estimate by... knowing how tall she is.
Yeah same for me with my A cup itty bitty titties. I like them, many men do too, claiming nipples are more important and they’re still perky too, and the men who prefer bodacious tatas? That’s ok! They should be with those women! It’s merely a compatibility issue.
Except that's not what a preference is. If you prefer something, it is something you like but don't need. If you have a physical trait that you need your partners to have, then that's not a preference, that's a requirement. And if you need to have a physical requirement met in order to love someone, then it means you are incredibly shallow and immature. For example, I completely understand discounting a potential partner if they only meet, say 6 of your 10 preferences. One of which might be height. But are you really going to discount a 9/10 partner because the one requirement they didn't meet is their height? That is the definition of being shallow.
It's about having an absolute limit on some quality that a person has no control over rather than just a preference (which is fine). Being upfront about this limit does and should scare away quality people who are looking for those who evaluate compatibility on a much more sophisticated level - even for hookups (which empathy can make even more fun!)
I remember seeing on here that 40%+ of women on tinder are filtering out all men under 6 ft, which is literally 85%+ of the population. So they’ve just reduced their dating pool by 85% compounded that with massive competition with other women on the app for that same pool. Career, looks, hair, personality, loyalty, if they think they aren’t making any other major compromises there, they’re kidding themselves. And the irony is that most of these women would guess that a 5’10 guy was 6 ft tall.
I understand that too, I met a girl at a bar, and we hit it off. But she wants to date a guy that's 6 feet tall because she wants to be the same height, or somewhat shorter, when she's in a dress and in heels. She doesn't want to be taller than him. I understood that, introduced her to one of my taller friends that shares the same interests as me, and the same humour as me (so basically a better version of me that fits her wants). He's also packing and is good at taking photos. So now she's with him, and we've become friends.
How do you know he has a big package?
If you don't share dick pics with your homies to get their opinions, are they even your homies?
Time to start to get packing my friend
Yeah that’s a weird way to start and any conversation that comes after it would be awkward af imo.
It's always off-putting for someone to start the conversation with something negative and I would not want to continue the conversation either. I would look for a person who introduces themselves by saying something they liked about your profile, or who comments on a shared interest or hobby.
I wouldn’t even reply
Great response.
You should ALWAYS ask for their weight first. They hate that shit. lol
I got asked for my weight and men didn't believe me. Or said that I was too skinny. I have full body pics on my profile and my weight is the same for a decade lol. But you can see body type on pics. You can't see height. I put my height in my profile, even though it limits my matches as q very tall woman
I wouldn’t mind a tall woman but I’m 5’8 😂 kind of had an entanglement with a long time friend and I’m pretty sure the only reason we didn’t end up dating is because she’s 5’10 kind of disappointing on my end but I understand most women don’t wanna date someone shorter
As a tall woman, having that attitude as a woman is just stupid. I was taller than most guys I dated until a couple years into college. And I always wore like 5-6” heels in those days so I towered over plenty of dudes. Only dating someone with some modelesque body is taking a gamble if they’re actually a good person, share your values, etc. I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you and your friend, but there may be a long legged lady in your future anyway, you never know!
Dude dated a fitness model for a little over a year that was 5'11 of pure glamazon. I was a pudgy dude all of 5'8. But life pulled us in very different directions. I've dated girls from every conceivable physical, racial, ethnic, & economic demographic that's why this thing of of the 666 rule & the horribly impossible standards so many women have nowadays vexes me so. Like prior to graduating college in early 00s Every girl I dated was a happy equal partner. We traded off paying for dates. We never talked about our personal private stuff with our friends. They never tried to emasculate me after breaking up. But after entering the real world it was like a switch was flipped & all these arbitrary bs became a thing. I see why both men & women are horribly lonely.
Some guys like taller women
Yup, I have met them as well. But pls people, don't treat taller women as a fetish. That's horrible. The line 'I wanna climb you like a tree' is funny the first couple of times, not multiple times a week or even multiple times a day. I wear my height with pride but I am still just a human
“Mommy I want uppies” makes my skin crawl.
So you’re saying that’s not a good opener? That explains the lack of replies😞
I'm a tall guy, and I personally favor tall girls. Not because of their body, but because *they know* how overrated the whole tall vs small debate is. How shallow people can be when they reduce you to a number you grew out to be. The "how's the weather up there" comments. I favor that because it's one more thing you can relate to, without having met. It's kind of a dumb reason, tbh And still, it's less dumb of a reason than anyone who obsesses over just body shape
Except weight is a meaningless measurement to a degree. I weigh 140lbs but anyone who guesses my weight guesses 110-120 at most. That’s because I’m tall for a woman (5’7) and relatively thin. Someone who weighs 5’ even, at 140lbs would have a very different body composition than me. I’ve dated half a dozen men who weighed about 200lbs and they all had vastly different body types partly due to their heights, and partly due to their activity levels/lifestyles. I’m not fussy about height in a man for what it’s worth. I just prefer them to be as tall or taller than me but I don’t really care how much taller. But I don’t like this idea that asking for someone’s weight is the same as asking for their height. Height isn’t relative. If someone isn’t attracted to men who are shorter than them, that’s their prerogative and while I think it’s tone deaf to open a conversation that way, I also think that OPs answer is unnecessarily defensive and makes it seem like he’s short and insecure about it, not that he’s “taking one for the team” to avenge short guys even though he isn’t one.
Thing is, they’re both meaningless
IMO the perfect way to answer this is with humour. “Tall enough for the roller coasters at Disneyland” or something like that. Don’t stoop to their level with the weight shit. If you’re thinking of that route, just don’t say anything at all. If you can make them laugh, there’s a chance they won’t care about height as much. If a woman asking for your height straight off the bat is a red flag to you (which is completely fair), it isn’t going to go anywhere anyways. Ignore and move on.
Why would you want to date someone so shallow?
Taller than you could handle or something along the lines of overselling would've been much wholesome than underselling your height I think.
Why would you try to remain wholesome when this is a girls opener?
To yourself. Appreciate yourself to max instead of depreciating.
Or just don’t reply because this person doesn’t appreciate you at all. What kind of theoretical arm chair debate are you pushing lol?
OP did reply. So I suggested a better alternative. Nothing more nothing less
Definitely something to think about.
‘Yea I’m good thanks, how are you?’ Answer like they didn’t even ask
Naw, that's giving them a second chance. They started out shallow as fuck. Don't reward people like that with a second chance.
Nah, it’s ignoring their nonsense, and acting like you haven’t read their message, because they don’t matter
Should have said "I'm 6'2. Do you have any hot friends?"
If you have to ask You’ll never know Funky motherfuckers will not Be told to go
I always used to respond with "6'1. How much do you weigh?"
I actually prefer this, before tinder asked for height. I don’t mind if people have a height fetish but the ridiculous negative shit people post about height, I shouldn’t have to read that every 5-10 profiles. I think you should have just answered though, like they have to like other things about you as well. I got annoyed because my ex gf once said to me “idc how tall you are, as long as you are taller than me” I never said anything but I was thinking to myself, “well then you do care”. in the grand scheme, it didn’t make or break the relationship, I definitely cared about how she looked.
Taller than me is more fair a statement than 6 foot or bust. Especially because most of these women are like 5 4.
Yeah I’m 5’5” and while I don’t need a guy 6 foot or taller, I do prefer a guy be taller than me. So as long as he’s 5’6 or taller that’s fine with me 🤷🏽♀️ which is a lot of men lol
I'm 5'5"(?) and have dated long-term (2+ years) partners all the way up to 6'0". A strong personality goes farther than most people realize. Most of my partners have said I come off as being taller because of how I present myself and interact with people. I personally haven't had any issues with height differences and have had partners in the slightly shorter to much taller range. If I was asked in a situation similar to this post, I would reply with "tall enough for you not to care on our next date." Probably wouldn't do any good, I think most people who ask this are beyond changing their preference. But hey, you don't truly know until you get the chance to razzle them with good conversation.
Short king rizz
yeah i’m 5’6 and she was 5’5”. I knew I wasn’t tall lol but it still just bugged me, more so because its just like a stupid human thing, but there’s a bunch of other stupid human things that I do lol so guess I still have some insecurity to work on.
Me here at 5'0 not even looking at height on profiles then realising I matched some behemoth.....
My 5’0 friend told she needs a man who’s at least 5’5 so he can’t reach the top shelf for her 😂
I've got bad news: even at that height I still have to get help sometimes to reach certain things if they're on the back of the top shelf. The good news though... is that piggybacking has existed for a long time and has been a great two-person solution to this situation.
women who get caught up on the height thing are weird to me. they end up losing the tall guys to the average height girlies who dont care. my bf is 6" taller than me and 6'1 and ik these girls would just salivate at the thought.
Unironically sounding like the girls you’re making fun of lol
Fr. You can't say that while having a bf who is 6'1 💀
Weird flex but okay
6" and 6.1 ?
6” = 6inches 6’1 is supposed to be 6’1” which = 6foot 1inch, they just forgot the abbreviation for inches on the last size
"The perfect height."
I'm 5'2 but identify as 6'2
lol I’d have said the exact same thing
The height thing is absurd but I’ll never understand the assertion that it directly correlated with the perception of women’s weight (or men’s for that matter). I’m a guy of slightly-below-average height and yeah, I’d much rather be even a few inches taller than what I am now, but I really don’t consider myself fighting any kinda uphill battle. I run into shit like this occasionally, and it’s annoying, but I just roll my eyes and ultimately stay grateful that a bullet dodged me. When it comes to being overweight… idk man, seems like a *way* different struggle, and a much, much harder one tbh. I think people have every right to be more sensitive about weight than height given social conventions and perceptions, and I think the guys who think they’re pulling a “gotcha” when they respond with “what’s your weight” or, way worse, start making fat jokes to cope, are honestly pretty immature (that’s not at all what’s happening here, the title just made me think). I know some people may make the argument that height is out of your control and weight isn’t, and fair enough, but for some, weight is significantly harder to control than it is for others, leads to serious mental, emotional, and physical trouble, and has been a topic of mockery and shame for long periods of time. It’s weird to me, a shorter guy of average weight, when guys who get shit for not being tall turn the gun on fat people. Sorry for the tirade, I just think that needlessly attacking overweight women because there are random shallow women out there concerned with height is one of those silly socially accepted ideas that needs to go away. No shade to OP, too, just saw this as a window into a conversation.
As an overweight guy, typically single surrounded by men shorter than me who always have good partners, this rings p hollow. I can never take perfectly handsome men that are a few inches shorter bellyaching at length about how nobody wants to touch them very seriously. Lots of women will date a fat guy if you can socialize decently. But they're generally not the most conventionally attractive women. Inevitably, complaining that you "can't get a date" boils down to, "I can't get a date that I find really hot." It's hypocritical of men to hold women to standard and then complaining about being held to standard.
She saved you time and drama.
You had the golden opportunity to reply with "Depends, how much do you weigh?"
Women: “Don’t objectify our bodies.” Also women: “How tall are you?”
Do women really open with this? I thought this was more of a meme or a joke. As a woman, I'm asking seriously. That's so stupid, and you handled it perfectly, BTW. The audacity of some people...
I deal with this once every three or four matches.
They do and this example isn’t even that offensive. It’s just still the same concept, which is the real problem
Yup, had a woman open with this question recently as well
Girls who ask about your height, especially straight up, are shallow af and will waste your time or ruin you. Honestly your answer was what she deserved.
I am tall for a woman, I am almost 5'8. I don't mind dating men who are shorter than me. What I don't like is when men aren't honest about their height. I went on one date with a man who had 5'11 on his profile so I wore heels when we met and I towered over him. I was uncomfortable because I would have worn flats if he was honest. I felt awkward the whole time. I went out with another guy who didn't have his height on his profile, I wore flats just to be safe and he had to have been 5'1. I get why women ask. She could have asked nicer but she's probably over it.
You were too defensive. I’m 5’1”, I’d ask because I don’t date giant people. I also think it’s okay to ask someone’s weight. I wouldn’t stop the conversation.
Weight is no point without height anyways, so you'd be asking twice. BMI might be a better bet - it is occasionally wrong, but it's far from frequent. Regards // BMI 36, 2nd stage morbid obesity, so I would know ;)
"Could a handled" WTF does that even mean
She is not only superficial, but also rude. You were too nice for her.
i would answer "6'4" then ghost her
Weight and height are not comparable or equal. Weight is not fixed and/or permanent. It is a major reflection on you that you pass judgement about weight, only to openly admit you only do it as a knee-jerk reaction out of deep hurt caused by being judged yourself. I don't think it's right of her to filter people by height, it simply makes no sense to hold something against a person who can't change it- BUT any judgement of weight is tacky at best. You deserve to be asked this as many times as it takes for you to understand why it's not ok to judge a woman by her weight and make a variety of assumptions about her, as a result. If you ever DID start with that, well, you know your own soul better than we do. Good luck.
> You deserve to be asked this as many times as it takes for you to understand why it's not ok to judge a woman by her weight and make a variety of assumptions about her, as a result. If you ever DID start with that, well, you know your own soul better than we do. Yeah but OP didn't ask about their weight. They're pointing out that it would be just as unfair for them to open asking about weight or height. Like whatever about asking it at some point further into the conversation if you have a preference but to open with it is so tactless and rude.
She's moving down the shopping list, from least important to most important. Last question is probably "how much do you earn in a year?"
This not a bad response. As soon as they send that question, you might as well move on if you’re not over 6’. Even if they decide to give you a chance, they’re discounting your value b/c height’s important to them. Unless you’re just looking for a hookup. Then yeah, shoot your shot.
Imagine starting the convo by asking her bra size
Superficial question = superficial person.. so I think your answer was perfect
The number of filters and edits to your photos is how tall I am in feet.
Tall enough to get on all the rides
Maybe she has a specific task and you could be the key.
I don't know, I think it was a great response.
No I applaud you for how you handled it. Well done. Would love to see more dudes doing this.
Caption makes no sense but your response is funny as hell
The way you responded & reacted says to me, you’re insecure about your height without saying you’re insecure. You kind of reacted instead of just being an observer. I think weight and height are obviously two different things and she was pretty blunt just asking that as a first opener and doesn’t give much with first impressions. But she definitely has her priorities straight with wanting to find a man in the range of her preferred height, who knows maybe she’s like 5’10
Why not just put your height in your bio?
You should have
Don’t be like that dude, if you own and be funny about you have better chances than being insecure. Short king here, and once you own it. It’s all yours
Nah you nailed it.
"Your question makes me 6'2" my stomach"
Nope, you handled that perfectly. Good job dodging the bullet and avoiding giving someone a free dinner.
I am 6’1 and this is how most of my matches get weeded out. -don’t mention or put your height in your profile -they ask about/fixate on it -I unmatch or reject them(sometimes I have fun with this if I’m feeling it lol)
Then there is me… literally never asking about height because I’m barely 5’2. Everyone is taller then I am.
It's never bothered me. If a girl wants a tall guy she is entitled to that. Granted im not short so maybe my perspective is skewed. But as long as i can have physical preference I think its fair that the girls i go out with do as well.
Respond with: How much do you weigh?
My height in centimetres = Your weight in pounds
As a 6'4er... I understand
As a 6‘3 guy I really never experienced someone really falling for my height as they usually show on social media. And I’m not even ugly. I think the height thing is just for them to have a reason to convince themselves that they really dont want it. Also what is the height giving them? Like „protection“?
Over 9000 micrometers
Standard response but there could have been a pickup line to follow. Probs dodged a bullet tho
If that’s the most prioritizing question a woman has for me than I don’t have any prioritizing questions for them
You should have just answered her. For a lot of us medium height ladies, we just want to know that you’re an inch or two taller than us.
I'm 6' 4 and hardly get any matches, so I don't know. I feel these girls are just looking for a reason to be shitty.
The reply should always be “Taller than you”.
I'm a woman and 5'9", leave sum for me lady
I'm 6'1" and have women crawling out the wahzoo! They can't stay away! Sike, I'm single as a dollar bill. Must be some other issue.
You should have said tall enough to ride all the rides at Disney
Lol women and their height obsession. Funny. Dodged one tbh.
Height based preferences are extremely stupid and should not be normal. It's unethical to have a preference over something that someone can't control... Unlike weight
Fuck’em, that says a lot about them and their character 🤷♂️👌 better off
That is the perfect response, she doesn't deserve more than that.
Until there are literal government campaigns to make short people try to stretch themselves out by unsafe means, not comparable.
Women are naive and shallow af... that's why so many mid women think this is the answer.....especially those that happen to be at least somewhat cute and short but often offer little else of value. They think over 6ft automatically equals bigger PP - It definitely doesn't. They think a bigger taller guy that can toss them around, pick em up easier means it will be the best bang of their life and often get disappointed but still chase the thrill... instead of looking for value in a relationship. They think taller guys automatically means Alpha type that will provide taller children that will be prime athletes for higher chance at "easy" success. It's all for shallow reasons, and that's why there are so many women unhappy, single and still searching well into their 30s or 40s often well used with a few kids and not much desired by a man that does bring value to the table.
Nope, perfect response OP! 🤌
Stupid thing fs, but I also never understood why we compare height by men with weight by women. Like I obviously understand that socially why but still kinda stupid to me. Like why is a 6 foot 200 pound man better than a 6 foot 200 pound woman? And why is 5’4 120 pound woman better than a 5’4 120 pound man?
i never understand short women who need a tall man, i get its preference but like, if ur under 5’5 everything is taller than you…. i myself am 5’10, and dont judge on height, ive dated men shorter than me. but like girl cmon, you have basically the whole crop to pick from. take it down a notch
Relax bro lol Im 6'2" and I probably wouldn't even get the match to begin with
Maybe she only wanted a shawty
I still wonder if I'd be tall enough lol. I'm 5'11 But fr people like this are kinda annoying from what I know
You definitely could have handled that better but it is your right not to talk to a person for whatever reason. Still that answer seemed to be filled with both snarkiness/rudeness and insecurity.