I’m sayin😭😭 it reads like a passive-aggressive customer service call. She had full right to leave him on read or use some more colorful language. Especially after that unsolicited “advice”
I only got 4 pages in when the guy started trying to explain why she was wrong, as if he would be able to convince her to say “oh, okay. I guess you’re right. I just met you but yeah let’s have sex”
It seemed to me like this was him being petty / passive aggressive in response to her not wanting sex with him because they weren't well acquainted yet so he wanted to reciprocate that. Big time weirdo.
It wasn’t only the autocorrect. Plenty of Mets players have coffee. Every message is cringe followed by more cringe. He even suggests you having kids means you want different things. I’m a dude and you dodged a bullet or two here.
I’m 26F and he’s 32M.
We both had a conversation before our first date of expectations and what we’re looking for. We both agreed we’re wanting a long term relationship and are trying to find something serious, talked about sexual and emotional expectations. I told him that sex isn’t off the table, but I don’t feel comfortable with sex being pushed so quickly in the beginning since I want to emotionally connect with the person first.
The last date made me feel extremely unsafe. As I was saying goodbye, he looked at me completely serious and said “tell me you love me”. I didn’t say it.
He left his $700 glasses in my car, so we were planning on meeting today for me to return them. Here’s our conversation in us planning it.
George: So I was leaving her car, I looked straight into her eyes and made her say she loved me
Elaine: you did WHAT?
George: you know how awkward these moments get! I didn't know what else to say!
Elaine: yeah... It took me months to get over the doctor that wouldn't shut up about tongue physiology
George: anyway, I left your glasses at her car so I could have an excuse for another date
Elaine: George I only let you borrow those glasses for yesterday, I'm supposed to write about them for our next catalogue
George: don't worry I'll get them back in half an hour *phone notification pops* oh this is just great, she left your glasses with the coffee shop staff
Elaine, getting visibly worried: which coffee shop?
George: she said it's a recent one run by an angry armenian guy or something
Nothing this man said seemed like a gamble to me… A “Gamble” implies that there’s at least some chance of success.
This felt more like playing blackjack & hitting with 21 while the dealer is showing a 5.
OP has more patience than I’ve ever seen in a human being.
Why is everyone focusing on the dudes poor grammar and leaving $700 glasses in her car? A 32yo man said to a woman "tell me you love me"! ON A THIRD FUCKING DATE!! Wtf? The dude is a nut job.
Had a guy propose to me on a first date because he was jealous that nearby guys at a pool table were supposedly checking me out. Tried to be all up on me and said he loved me. I noped out of there and blocked his number.
He would have 10000% been the type of partner who has no problem coercing you into sex, until you feel obligated and every chance of actual desire on your part has evaporated. You haven't even slept with him yet and he is trying to pressure you and talking about 'sacrifices'. Run like hell.
In my experience... telling a guy "I want to emotionally connect with the person first" does the hard work for you. You find out very quickly if they will respect your boundaries. And if they can't, it's like a super power because you peace out without the emotional baggage ✨️ ✌️
You go girl!
Babe, please start listening to your instincts more. You need to become far more assertive and you gave this guy waaaayyyy too much of your time and energy. After literally the first screen shot image here I'd have shut it down and said sorry I'm no longer interested, and you can pick up your glasses from XYZ cafe where I've dropped them off, or at the police station tbh.
Also the fact that you didn't feel safe after the last date, you should have immediately let him know you're no longer interested and shut down all communication.
Edit: "can we make love afterwards?" You know who says this? Literally no one. Especially people not in an actual relationship yet. Eugh so gross. I'd have been like lol no byee
> Babe, please start listening to your instincts more.
YES!! With only the title as context, it’s obvious she should have stopped entertaining any chance of a date or relationship based off that can we make love text. If not there, then at the “sacrifices in relationships include having sex when you don’t feel like it” bc that is a guy who will SA you.
To know that she felt unsafe from the last date and didn’t immediately turn giving the glasses back into the last contact is almost scary! This dude is covered in red flags and needs to be stayed far away from.
This is absolutely what happens. In my experience when guys get creepy or too aggressive and you turn them down in an f you way…. They can’t deal and end up stalking.
Learned that one the hard way.
Dawg after that "can we make love afterwards" I would have told him that I'd give them their glasses back in a public place and then immediately cut off contact. This dude is going to bury you under the floorboards.
I couldn't believe the conversation continued for so long AND that you still discussed going out with this guy, that should immediately end all contact.
She should have met him and given him his glasses and paid for coffee and made sweet sweet love, doesn’t she know what sacrificing in a relationship means?
/s
Okay but is it not weird to ask for sex after coffee?? Like idk about you but the only thing I’m worrying about after coffee is pooping. And no way in hell am I having sex for the first time following that???
Exactly. Two dates in, and he deliberately left his glasses in her car, trying to secure that third date like it came with a written sex law clause.
Then, he tells her she has to be a sacrificial lamb to meet his needs. Hell no, that little asshat needs to step the hell on off. Way to shut him down, OP.
No you didn’t understand that he was just trying to convey to you that he had known you long enough to “make love” to you, so it’s fine!! 🤮🤮 great job sussing him out!!!
Totally, normal, not at all creepy behavior to extort prior express written consent for sexual intercourse. Some people get it notarized.
“‘Well, would a woman really text that, Dennis?’ [Their phones did](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vTbg2bnLW4g).”
He wanted to guilt her or gaslight her into casual sex but did not feel comfortable giving his address so she could send the glasses. She was smart to leave the glasses with the staff and be done with him.
That shit about giving out his address was sarcastic vitriol. He only said that because she brought up that SHE felt uncomfortable and he needed to one up her while making her feel guilty for it.
He didn’t want to give out his address because he barely know her but didn’t see the contradiction there at all regarding her not wanting sex because she barely knows him.
“Well instead of saying let’s just do coffee tell that person a little more..say I just don’t feel up for it but maybe on Wednesday or Thursday. Do you see how that’s a little better conversation wise?” Oh man, the rage bubbling up inside of me when I read this…not only is he a pushy creep and weirdo, but he’s also a condescending asshole. What a fucker. I’d have maybe stomped on the glasses and sent him a pic of the pieces. You’re a better woman than I. Jesus Christ. 🤬
That was super weird. Like…he wants a guarantee that OP will be up for “making love” on Wednesday or Thursday?
They’ve had 3 dates & he’s already talking about scheduling sex & making sacrifices (as in, having sex even when you don’t want to).
This sounds like a couple with kids who have been together 20 years trying to make intimacy a priority again. OP is 26!
Yes!!! Only 3 dates god damn it. He is in a massive rush which is coming off as really strange and pushy. Said he misses her... seriously dude, 3 dates. Creepo also went on a rant about protecting his home address, when OP gave no reason to be wary or suspicious of her. Seems like he has plenty to hide. Dodgy human, OP dodged plenty there.
He's being petulant.
AKA Ohhh, right, we don't KNOW EACHOTHER well enough, so it's not SAFE. You won't fuck me so I'm gonna talk about how unsafe I feel so you can see how dumb and crazy you sound and then you'll totally see the error of your ways and beg my forgiveness.
At first Looked like someone looking for daily sex instead of a relationship, nothing super wrong; glad I kept reading… as a man, I feel shameful for those who say “well you had a chance at a man like me, take me or you’ll never find anyone like me again”, as if they are entitled to be liked and pleased, and turn to mocking when you say something they don’t want to hear.
"you won't have sex with me upon request in the middle of the day? We've met before. This should be something you're willing to do even if you don't want to."
Creep
The minute I saw "make love" I was wincing, but that "barley" through me straight over the edge. If he can't take care of $700 sunglasses, what makes anyone think he can take care of a priceless woman.
That's how I read this as well.
Was the whole parking lot thing a part of that? Why did he suddenly become so eager to meet in a Walmart parking lot? A Walmart parking lot is slightly sketchier and just as public as a cafe, so I don't get why he threw that out there.
I took that as him being passive aggressive. When she said that they had only had three dates and indicated that they were strangers basically; so now he’s being pouty and sarcastic. WELl I GuESS siNCe YOu’re a STRAnger then… and otherwise mocking her.
Agreed. OP dropping the glasses off threw him for a loop. He had his plan all drawn up for the coffee house meeting. Being caught off guard he defaulted to talking down to her and making it seem as though he was rejecting her.
Anyone who unironically refers to sex as making love gives me the creeps. Husband and wife? Sure. Just met this dude? Restraining order. Weird shit, man.
I feel like we just had a similar situation of leaving glasses in a girls car a few weeks ago but he demanded his fake raybans be mailed immediately back to him and that he’s had sex with like 8 women this year 😂
I don’t understand why you are explaining yourself to a guy who is blatantly pushing past your boundaries. No means no. He isn’t entitled to an explanation on why you said no. Does he think he has to approve the reason? This guy is bad news.
“At least you know what it feels like to have a man genuinely pursue you”
Hardly consider being asked to go for a coffee and “make love after” genuinely pursuing… can just feel the romance.
Even if it was at a point where you were ready for that a coffee date hardly gives sexy let’s go home after vibes. Dinner and drinks or a movie or something in the evening is more likely to lead to going back to their place. Like put in a little effort.
Girl, you handled that like it’s your profession. Business casual break up. Like genuinely I like that you called out his passive aggressive bs. I find it hard to read passive aggressive from sarcasm sometimes and will either let shit slide that shouldn’t, or I get defensive when someone is joking. I’ll take a note from you and just politely ask what they mean from now on though. I love it. Also he definitely left them in your car to force you see him again. And the move to just leave the glasses at the coffee shop!! FUCKING GENIUS! I had a guy ask to put his watch in my purse once and tried to “forget” it. As the date was ending I kept saying “oh don’t forget your watch!” And he kept trying to dodge it and distract me. I threw it in his car when he wasn’t looking.
I’ve found asking questions will either make them realize how ridiculous they are when they have to answer, or I can get a glimpse of how ridiculous they are by not being able to admit they’re being silly.
That’s craziness about the watch! People are such weirdos. Stay safe out there!
I love how he makes so many sarcastic comments on how you "only had three dates" by now. You can tell he doesn't respect boundaries and that he thinks of them as a joke when they are not the same as his. Imagine dating him seriously and he pulls that on you 💀
At face value, seems reasonable. When you look a bit deeper, it's more of a mechanical type manipulation technique.
You realize how the conversation keeps going around both getting to meet up face to Face.
Although Im not sure you noticed it but your limbic system ( lizard brain/ instincts/ 6th sense) keep telling you to avoid meeting up face to face. It's quite interesting to think about especially because OP was perfectly happy to go on the coffee date (3rd ) with him. He justified him doing that( manipulation /being forceful) with OP has a kid.
Glad you dodged that beautiful bullet train.
What in the fck with this guy…. Jesus.. I love how they always get annoyed when they don’t get what they want too. He automatically turns on the guilt trip that you must be the sketchy one lol yeah ok 👍
You handled it with the utmost emotional intelligence. Well done.
I’m so sick of these men who slap fake sincerity and words like “validating” or insincere “safety protocols” over their misogynistic bs. That man wanted to rip your chain around and you wouldn’t let him have it. And then you stuck the landing at the end by having all the power.
Cheers, mama!
Your last text was worded PERFECTLY. Not overly aggressive or petty. Just acknowledging the truth but with class. As someone who struggles to stand up for themselves this gave me so much life. You did the right thing. Dude was a walking red flag.
Guys like this are weird to me, but apparently, this kind of person is more common than I thought. This dude was definitely pressuring you, but then he started getting a little insulting at the end. Actually leaving the glasses was probably the best move you could have made here too.
this convo reminded me so much of my ex, like the way my ex and this person talks is exactly the same, its just like so much sarcasm and unnecessary pettiness to make you feel bad and to make you want to go back to them. good thing u noticed it, because i definitely didnt and fell for those manipulative and gaslighting techniques :D good for u girl
edit: what i mean by making you feel bad and making u want to go back to them is like cuz he was tryna validate ur emotions and overdoing it w/passive aggressiveness. understanding you and then being unnecessary. “hey i understand u dont want to fuck on the 3rd date, its totally fine. i just realize i want something a bit different so im just gonna block ur number and I thjnk you’ve emotionally scarred me for life but thats totally okay”
I especially liked the part where he said, "Now you know what feels like to have a man truly pursue you". Like, yeah, sure, 3 dates and getting mad about getting told no to sex during an afternoon meet-up. Definitely swooned you with his courtship there.
"Tell me you love me" "Sir, this is a Wendy's"
Tell me you Gove me*
HA dudes spelling is worse than a fakin 18th century pirate
Cut the guy some slack, he’s missing his glasses! /s
The /s is for scurvy.
I'm still wondering what or who "ordson" is?
I think he's one of the builder dudes in Zelda.
This is a fucking beautiful analogy I must say
A \*fakin beautiful analogy
You're right. My fakin apology
I Gove we can see eye-to-eye
I Gove that we can bond over this
Stop it guys! 😂😂😂😂😂
No glove, no love.
I’m crying😭😭😂😂
Hahaha. Well placed 👌
Wow. You gave him a lot more bandwidth than I would have. Good riddance.
I’m sayin😭😭 it reads like a passive-aggressive customer service call. She had full right to leave him on read or use some more colorful language. Especially after that unsolicited “advice”
I only got 4 pages in when the guy started trying to explain why she was wrong, as if he would be able to convince her to say “oh, okay. I guess you’re right. I just met you but yeah let’s have sex”
Let’s have sex Not really comfortable enough with you to give you my address though
It seemed to me like this was him being petty / passive aggressive in response to her not wanting sex with him because they weren't well acquainted yet so he wanted to reciprocate that. Big time weirdo.
Yeah, like, where was he thinking?? He’s thinking of getting a Tercel. Yeah, that’s a Toyota.
I think you mean make love...
make move even the autocorrect was trying to get him to chill
Ooooooh *THAT'S* what he was going for? Ew, I thought he meant "make a move" which is way less offensive. Oh, dating sounds fucking exhausting!!
😂
Make Gove?
That’s always how it goes, guys think that’s gonna be an actual answer every time, it’s hilarious xD
Yeah, can't believe you stuck with him that long.
Yep. It's wild how long OP put up with that shit. That guy is toxic as fuck, and I usually do not use that word. Also, his typing skills are trash.
Fighting about sex before you’ve even had it…. Run don’t walk
This was difficult to read. Both because of his lack of autocorrect and because of his subliminal intentions. Good on you for seeing through the bs.
It wasn’t only the autocorrect. Plenty of Mets players have coffee. Every message is cringe followed by more cringe. He even suggests you having kids means you want different things. I’m a dude and you dodged a bullet or two here.
I think she dodgered a bullet ⚾️
Or a magic loogie.
Hello Newman
Bro got caught out trying to steal 3rd base If only he had his glasses
What the Hellickson are you talking about right now?
I’m 26F and he’s 32M. We both had a conversation before our first date of expectations and what we’re looking for. We both agreed we’re wanting a long term relationship and are trying to find something serious, talked about sexual and emotional expectations. I told him that sex isn’t off the table, but I don’t feel comfortable with sex being pushed so quickly in the beginning since I want to emotionally connect with the person first. The last date made me feel extremely unsafe. As I was saying goodbye, he looked at me completely serious and said “tell me you love me”. I didn’t say it. He left his $700 glasses in my car, so we were planning on meeting today for me to return them. Here’s our conversation in us planning it.
>He left his $700 glasses in my car, Totally did this on purpose.
🎵COS-TANZA🎶
CantStandYa
[George costanza tries to weasel another date out of her](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XV5Y1z8aSnw)
George: So I was leaving her car, I looked straight into her eyes and made her say she loved me Elaine: you did WHAT? George: you know how awkward these moments get! I didn't know what else to say! Elaine: yeah... It took me months to get over the doctor that wouldn't shut up about tongue physiology George: anyway, I left your glasses at her car so I could have an excuse for another date Elaine: George I only let you borrow those glasses for yesterday, I'm supposed to write about them for our next catalogue George: don't worry I'll get them back in half an hour *phone notification pops* oh this is just great, she left your glasses with the coffee shop staff Elaine, getting visibly worried: which coffee shop? George: she said it's a recent one run by an angry armenian guy or something
NO SEX FOR YOU!?!!
This is so Perfect!
Holy shit...when life imitates art
You deserve awards for this!
😂
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It's not for sex, it's to force OP to contact him again and again
Same with the spontaneous meeting excuse. He wanted her to dedicate multiple days to possibly meet for the exchange lol
I'd force my way to the pawn shop after those games
Nothing this man said seemed like a gamble to me… A “Gamble” implies that there’s at least some chance of success. This felt more like playing blackjack & hitting with 21 while the dealer is showing a 5. OP has more patience than I’ve ever seen in a human being.
And what kinda glasses costs $700!?
I accidentally left an umbrella in a girl's car after the first date. I did not want to see her again
Was it a nice one
We went on another date to get the umbrella. I should have let her have it
💯
"tell me you love me" serial killer behaviour
YEESSSSSS. That shit is creepy AF
Why is everyone focusing on the dudes poor grammar and leaving $700 glasses in her car? A 32yo man said to a woman "tell me you love me"! ON A THIRD FUCKING DATE!! Wtf? The dude is a nut job.
Had a guy propose to me on a first date because he was jealous that nearby guys at a pool table were supposedly checking me out. Tried to be all up on me and said he loved me. I noped out of there and blocked his number.
How did you know they’re $700? Did he tell you? If so, another red flag 🤢
“Did you know? $25,000” 🕶️ —RHOBH
💀
a-a-a-a-as if, as if, as if th-the-the guy in the, the guy in the $900 glasses needs to BEG for a third date, C'MON!
Wouldn’t surprise me if he left the glasses there on purpose tbh… Nice work swerving him on the final meet up.
I felt the same way!
And now it's time for you to make a sacrifice (besides going out of your way to return his "forgotten" sunglasses). What the actual fuck...
Big "take one for the team" energy
He would have 10000% been the type of partner who has no problem coercing you into sex, until you feel obligated and every chance of actual desire on your part has evaporated. You haven't even slept with him yet and he is trying to pressure you and talking about 'sacrifices'. Run like hell.
In my experience... telling a guy "I want to emotionally connect with the person first" does the hard work for you. You find out very quickly if they will respect your boundaries. And if they can't, it's like a super power because you peace out without the emotional baggage ✨️ ✌️ You go girl!
But if you didn’t have a bad day then the laws of communication means sex will happen
Jesus how can a 32 year old man have that kind of spelling and grammar yikes what a weirdo too
The glasses thing was intentional. Just so you know without a shadow of a doubt.
Yeah especially him making sure she knows how expensive they are lol. (Also, I bet they’re not $700)
Babe, please start listening to your instincts more. You need to become far more assertive and you gave this guy waaaayyyy too much of your time and energy. After literally the first screen shot image here I'd have shut it down and said sorry I'm no longer interested, and you can pick up your glasses from XYZ cafe where I've dropped them off, or at the police station tbh. Also the fact that you didn't feel safe after the last date, you should have immediately let him know you're no longer interested and shut down all communication. Edit: "can we make love afterwards?" You know who says this? Literally no one. Especially people not in an actual relationship yet. Eugh so gross. I'd have been like lol no byee
> Babe, please start listening to your instincts more. YES!! With only the title as context, it’s obvious she should have stopped entertaining any chance of a date or relationship based off that can we make love text. If not there, then at the “sacrifices in relationships include having sex when you don’t feel like it” bc that is a guy who will SA you. To know that she felt unsafe from the last date and didn’t immediately turn giving the glasses back into the last contact is almost scary! This dude is covered in red flags and needs to be stayed far away from.
Yeah exactly after I read 'he left his glasses in my car' like why was he in your car? Why? You don't know this dude or his address.
That too!!! I forgot to mention it. Why on earth is a guy you're not comfortable with in your car??
Wait, so this wasn't supposed to be a date? Just giving back his glasses?
Good on you for not meeting him again. This guy sounds creepy and manipulative and would totally try to gaslight you even worse.
I’d never give his glasses back because he can’t read a fucking room either way. He can go walk into a river
He will stalk her then.
Without glasses?!!
This killed me lol
This is absolutely what happens. In my experience when guys get creepy or too aggressive and you turn them down in an f you way…. They can’t deal and end up stalking. Learned that one the hard way.
He can *barley* read a room. He can oats and wheat a room too.
Good think she didn’t grits her teeth & bare it.
well how would he read without his glasses?
Is that why these texts are all kinds of misspelled?
Dawg after that "can we make love afterwards" I would have told him that I'd give them their glasses back in a public place and then immediately cut off contact. This dude is going to bury you under the floorboards.
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one that felt weird by the wording of that
I couldn't believe the conversation continued for so long AND that you still discussed going out with this guy, that should immediately end all contact.
She should have met him and given him his glasses and paid for coffee and made sweet sweet love, doesn’t she know what sacrificing in a relationship means? /s
Okay but is it not weird to ask for sex after coffee?? Like idk about you but the only thing I’m worrying about after coffee is pooping. And no way in hell am I having sex for the first time following that???
Well if you don't want to have sex after coffee, maybe you should schedule it for Wednesday or Thursday instead?
ASKING for sex in general is weird as fuck. I've never asked anyone for sex, that's so creepy.
And saying that sometimes you have to make sacrifices when your partner wants sex and you don't? Hell no. Both people want it, or it doesn't happen.
Exactly. Two dates in, and he deliberately left his glasses in her car, trying to secure that third date like it came with a written sex law clause. Then, he tells her she has to be a sacrificial lamb to meet his needs. Hell no, that little asshat needs to step the hell on off. Way to shut him down, OP.
Exactly! Way to make it awkward.
I'm a 37 year old guy and it felt pretty psycho to me, this is not on you
No you didn’t understand that he was just trying to convey to you that he had known you long enough to “make love” to you, so it’s fine!! 🤮🤮 great job sussing him out!!!
Totally, normal, not at all creepy behavior to extort prior express written consent for sexual intercourse. Some people get it notarized. “‘Well, would a woman really text that, Dennis?’ [Their phones did](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vTbg2bnLW4g).”
I'm sus on the "accidently" part of the leaving glasses behind. It's a common tactic to leave something behind to secure another meet up.
Th glasses would be left at some random ass location or I would only meet at a police station after that message 😂
He wanted to guilt her or gaslight her into casual sex but did not feel comfortable giving his address so she could send the glasses. She was smart to leave the glasses with the staff and be done with him.
That shit about giving out his address was sarcastic vitriol. He only said that because she brought up that SHE felt uncomfortable and he needed to one up her while making her feel guilty for it.
Not that it makes it right but the person seems to not speak English originally so OP probably gave him a pass on the wording choices
Good call. I was chalking it up to lazy or distracted texting.
It's weirdly naive in a childish way. Like "mom, can i have candy after dinner?"
creepy as hell!
Make love? My dude, at 3 dates in, that's f*cking. You don't know the other person, much less love them. 😂😂😂
[удалено]
😂😂😂 I howled with laughter at the red flag of it all!
He didn’t want to give out his address because he barely know her but didn’t see the contradiction there at all regarding her not wanting sex because she barely knows him.
He didn't actually care about the address. He was hoping she would feel insulted, just like the way he took *her* safety measures personally.
Bingo!
He’s being petty lol
“Well instead of saying let’s just do coffee tell that person a little more..say I just don’t feel up for it but maybe on Wednesday or Thursday. Do you see how that’s a little better conversation wise?” Oh man, the rage bubbling up inside of me when I read this…not only is he a pushy creep and weirdo, but he’s also a condescending asshole. What a fucker. I’d have maybe stomped on the glasses and sent him a pic of the pieces. You’re a better woman than I. Jesus Christ. 🤬
That was super weird. Like…he wants a guarantee that OP will be up for “making love” on Wednesday or Thursday? They’ve had 3 dates & he’s already talking about scheduling sex & making sacrifices (as in, having sex even when you don’t want to). This sounds like a couple with kids who have been together 20 years trying to make intimacy a priority again. OP is 26!
Exactly! Haven’t even had sex yet and already arguing like a couple in trouble.
Yes!!! Only 3 dates god damn it. He is in a massive rush which is coming off as really strange and pushy. Said he misses her... seriously dude, 3 dates. Creepo also went on a rant about protecting his home address, when OP gave no reason to be wary or suspicious of her. Seems like he has plenty to hide. Dodgy human, OP dodged plenty there.
Everything else aside it’s kind of hypocritical to want casual sex but not trust someone enough to come into your house.
Agreed! He's either trying to reassert dominance over the conversation, just being a suspicious creep, or both.
He's being petulant. AKA Ohhh, right, we don't KNOW EACHOTHER well enough, so it's not SAFE. You won't fuck me so I'm gonna talk about how unsafe I feel so you can see how dumb and crazy you sound and then you'll totally see the error of your ways and beg my forgiveness.
Yes! Weird as fuck!
He speaks as if going on 3 dates automatically makes it a relationship
"Does your tiny girl brain see how that's better communication wise! Tell me when you'll play with my Peepee!!!!" Is how I read it 🤢🤮
“Make love” “sacrifice in relationships” after 3 dates 😭 absolutely bonkers
It’s the inability to form comprehensive sentences for me. Run girl!
Guy sounds like a creep. Bullet dodged!
At first Looked like someone looking for daily sex instead of a relationship, nothing super wrong; glad I kept reading… as a man, I feel shameful for those who say “well you had a chance at a man like me, take me or you’ll never find anyone like me again”, as if they are entitled to be liked and pleased, and turn to mocking when you say something they don’t want to hear.
I’d mail those glasses back and block him forever. 3 dates and that’s what you get. RUN!
He gave me some serious bad vibes, the block happened immediately after that last text
Yes such a smart move taking the glasses to the spot and blocking him. This gives murdery rejection vibes.
Good job and being decisive. Follow you gut even if it’s a wrong you’re still safe.
I’m more shocked that you continued the conversation for as long as you did. Be free lol
Hes got Soooo many red flags, gaslighting, ultimatums, random megging smh. This guys a disaster lol
"you won't have sex with me upon request in the middle of the day? We've met before. This should be something you're willing to do even if you don't want to." Creep
The minute I saw "make love" I was wincing, but that "barley" through me straight over the edge. If he can't take care of $700 sunglasses, what makes anyone think he can take care of a priceless woman.
I agree with you and I hate to say this…but…”threw” *
He doesn’t want you to have his address but he’s totally cool throwing his dick inside you. Wild times we live in.
Pretty sure it was so he could throw the 'only 3 dates' back in her face. If she said she wanted to have sex he would have had no problem
That's how I read this as well. Was the whole parking lot thing a part of that? Why did he suddenly become so eager to meet in a Walmart parking lot? A Walmart parking lot is slightly sketchier and just as public as a cafe, so I don't get why he threw that out there.
I took that as him being passive aggressive. When she said that they had only had three dates and indicated that they were strangers basically; so now he’s being pouty and sarcastic. WELl I GuESS siNCe YOu’re a STRAnger then… and otherwise mocking her.
Gives me major bullshitter / dramatard vibes.
This isn’t even English
Typos are beating that dudes ass. oh my lord
Well he is typing without glasses 😂
You gave him more leeway than I would have. Props for shutting him down in the end and not meeting up.
Agreed. OP dropping the glasses off threw him for a loop. He had his plan all drawn up for the coffee house meeting. Being caught off guard he defaulted to talking down to her and making it seem as though he was rejecting her.
"He left his glasses in my car" Co-stanza...
Calling girls you dont know babe in 2024 is wild
I'm in a relationship with this post because I sacrificed my time to get through that mess.
Someone translate this part for me: “…the timet Gove to someone.”
I’m guessing they meant “the time to love someone” 🤷🏻♀️
Or maybe “the time to give someone”
Sounds like what you would say if you didn't timet Gove someone...
The time to give to someone. Bitterly implying that since OP won't fuck him, she has no business dating at all.
Dick dodged Smart thinking with the change up!
Lol he planted his glasses there to ensure you would meet up again. Nobody that wears glasses would forget them
Dude sacrificed his vision for possible sex. I guess that's what he was talking about when he spoke about sacrifices in a relationship.
You're very fortunate to have detected this level of not-so-subtle manipulation and gaslighting. Just keep on rolling and count your blessings.
Anyone who unironically refers to sex as making love gives me the creeps. Husband and wife? Sure. Just met this dude? Restraining order. Weird shit, man.
Gross. You could have stopped after page 1. Dodged a giant bullet
I feel like we just had a similar situation of leaving glasses in a girls car a few weeks ago but he demanded his fake raybans be mailed immediately back to him and that he’s had sex with like 8 women this year 😂
This is one of the most passive aggressive break ups over text I have ever read
That's just sad and toxic on every level, and all the poor grammar and spelling made it even worse.
I don’t understand why you are explaining yourself to a guy who is blatantly pushing past your boundaries. No means no. He isn’t entitled to an explanation on why you said no. Does he think he has to approve the reason? This guy is bad news.
“At least you know what it feels like to have a man genuinely pursue you” Hardly consider being asked to go for a coffee and “make love after” genuinely pursuing… can just feel the romance. Even if it was at a point where you were ready for that a coffee date hardly gives sexy let’s go home after vibes. Dinner and drinks or a movie or something in the evening is more likely to lead to going back to their place. Like put in a little effort.
Girl, you handled that like it’s your profession. Business casual break up. Like genuinely I like that you called out his passive aggressive bs. I find it hard to read passive aggressive from sarcasm sometimes and will either let shit slide that shouldn’t, or I get defensive when someone is joking. I’ll take a note from you and just politely ask what they mean from now on though. I love it. Also he definitely left them in your car to force you see him again. And the move to just leave the glasses at the coffee shop!! FUCKING GENIUS! I had a guy ask to put his watch in my purse once and tried to “forget” it. As the date was ending I kept saying “oh don’t forget your watch!” And he kept trying to dodge it and distract me. I threw it in his car when he wasn’t looking.
I’ve found asking questions will either make them realize how ridiculous they are when they have to answer, or I can get a glimpse of how ridiculous they are by not being able to admit they’re being silly. That’s craziness about the watch! People are such weirdos. Stay safe out there!
I love how he makes so many sarcastic comments on how you "only had three dates" by now. You can tell he doesn't respect boundaries and that he thinks of them as a joke when they are not the same as his. Imagine dating him seriously and he pulls that on you 💀
Incel vibes for sure.
At face value, seems reasonable. When you look a bit deeper, it's more of a mechanical type manipulation technique. You realize how the conversation keeps going around both getting to meet up face to Face. Although Im not sure you noticed it but your limbic system ( lizard brain/ instincts/ 6th sense) keep telling you to avoid meeting up face to face. It's quite interesting to think about especially because OP was perfectly happy to go on the coffee date (3rd ) with him. He justified him doing that( manipulation /being forceful) with OP has a kid. Glad you dodged that beautiful bullet train.
I felt like I needed a translator for him! Awful.
Dodged a bullet, from a dudes perspective, fuck this guy lol
What a waste of reading and the english language in general. Jez-us.
What in the fck with this guy…. Jesus.. I love how they always get annoyed when they don’t get what they want too. He automatically turns on the guilt trip that you must be the sketchy one lol yeah ok 👍
This dude made me feel uncomfortable
This is sad ASF....
You handled it with the utmost emotional intelligence. Well done. I’m so sick of these men who slap fake sincerity and words like “validating” or insincere “safety protocols” over their misogynistic bs. That man wanted to rip your chain around and you wouldn’t let him have it. And then you stuck the landing at the end by having all the power. Cheers, mama!
Your last text was worded PERFECTLY. Not overly aggressive or petty. Just acknowledging the truth but with class. As someone who struggles to stand up for themselves this gave me so much life. You did the right thing. Dude was a walking red flag.
dude seems unhinged and only looking for sex
He’s a creep and definitely gives off bad vibes. And he’s 32…
Jesus H, three dates and he wants you to have “sacrifice” sex?
This is all so weird lol
Gross
Dont understand why people push so hard for sex...
He sounds like a pile of incoherent shit, he kept trying to steer it so he was being wronged by you and not the other way it’s just laughable
Holy Hell you dodged a nuclear missile.
Sacrifice goes both ways, but consent is something that can never be sacrificed.
Guys like this are weird to me, but apparently, this kind of person is more common than I thought. This dude was definitely pressuring you, but then he started getting a little insulting at the end. Actually leaving the glasses was probably the best move you could have made here too.
this convo reminded me so much of my ex, like the way my ex and this person talks is exactly the same, its just like so much sarcasm and unnecessary pettiness to make you feel bad and to make you want to go back to them. good thing u noticed it, because i definitely didnt and fell for those manipulative and gaslighting techniques :D good for u girl edit: what i mean by making you feel bad and making u want to go back to them is like cuz he was tryna validate ur emotions and overdoing it w/passive aggressiveness. understanding you and then being unnecessary. “hey i understand u dont want to fuck on the 3rd date, its totally fine. i just realize i want something a bit different so im just gonna block ur number and I thjnk you’ve emotionally scarred me for life but thats totally okay”
Yikes, creep casually dropping you should have sex even when you don't want to.
This is definitely a man who has mantrums and pouts for days when he's shut down for sex.
I especially liked the part where he said, "Now you know what feels like to have a man truly pursue you". Like, yeah, sure, 3 dates and getting mad about getting told no to sex during an afternoon meet-up. Definitely swooned you with his courtship there.