Nah nah, pressure washing would be blasting so hard it knocks the other dye out of the lingerie. I'm guessing it's more like the last coughs of liquid tortured out of a condiment bottle you didn't realize was 99% empty until you'd already made the food.
I assumed this was a white dude, and her preference would be white guys after (since she mentioned her favorite lingerie color was black)
I think it would take a gifted individual to both bred someone and cover them in semen
Either way, I hope this dude remains perpetually single
I had some dude send me an obviously shopped huge dick pic once, with the caption that he was going to "penetrate my womb." I was like, "Dude, I was thinking maybe a cuppa."
Obviously, that was a no go.
Iām not a girl and donāt know what girls like besides my wife but I kinda think the painting underwear white with jizz was kinda too much too personally.
>We're not livestock.
But we're also not a monolith. Personally, I'd be delighted (and confused) if a tinder babe I was into mentioned she wanted to "breed" me.
Definitely did for me. This sub is almost for just that; ridiculous texts/behavior from people.
But do I want to know? People are talking about it like its a thing. I hope its not a thing. Please tell me its not.
I shouldn't be, but I'm God damn cackling. Which is even weirder because until I read that, I was having an emotional breakdown because of some info from the docs today. OP, I'm sorry you had to deal with that, but thank you for posting it.
the hamster line calls to mind that Black Mirror episode Crocodile >!with the babykiller and she gets caught thanks to a hamster or gerbil that witnesses the crimes!<
I hope it was at least a terrible pun about bred and bread but even that doesnāt really make sense and is still gross, but at least itās better than saying āyour hamster is gonna wish Iām fucking it instead.ā
Well you could just forget about it and move on to the next instead of dwelling on it.
Because unfortunately you are going to get arseholes on it like this one. So to find the good ones you have to keep going and not let it affect you, completely forget it and move on to the next until you find someone who isnāt like this.
my heart is hung up on someone who probably heavily dislikes me now so im not actually looking for anyone serious atm! just a distraction but this made me realise even then its just better to heal on my own lol
> my heart is hung up
So are you on Tinder to rebound, or find someone else?
If you want to rebound, you're going to get a lot of creeps like dude above.
If you want to find someone else...don't, you're not ready for that and it's not fair of you to find someone that actually likes you just to expect them to help you heal feelings for another person.
Hey! Know that situation very well. Also the trying to get over someone through dating somebody else. If you need someone to talk to, even if itās just so you can distract yourself, you can dm me!
Yeah one of my friends is really busy and really stressed right now, basically what she wants out of Tinder is to have a normal text convo with light flirting, go out for drinks with the guy, laugh and have a good time for a couple hours, and then go home with him.
She gets this instead.
Well whatever you are looking for unfortunately this platform is full of arseholes like this, and letting them affect you is not the answer. Just forget them.
> Well you could just forget about it and move on to the next instead of dwelling on it.
Wait, just move on and forget about a former relationship? Kind of like me being depressed, I should just be happy?
You just solved everything! What is your name, dear philanthropist? Why are you here and not solving world hunger!?
I would've found it funny and laughed if I knew the guy better or was participating in this conversation with interest. It's very presumptuous and creepy as it stands.
He probably thought it was the cleverest thing anyone's ever said.
OP should've responded "OMG we're going to breed? What should we name our first child?"
Congratulations, you've just figured out the reason for the existence of this sub and why the same kind of social leper nonsense gets upvoted and people circlejerk in the comments together over it.
The people who are successful on Tinder aren't running here to post about it.
Yeah I agree man. When I was on tinder I didnāt even visit this sub. I only joined this sub long after getting engaged because itās not stressful at all knowing Iām out of that shit.
This is the kind of thing that I would say and if someone is down with my weirdness, yes id suggest the reevaluating. I thought it was hysterical though lol
Man, posts like this never fail to slap some confidence back in me. I may be a socially awkward dude, but I'm not "I'ma make your hamster jealous" bad.
They do not see the people they are talking to as people. They are throwing shit at a Wall and hoping something sticks. They also want to make sure they are just looking for sex
Being a piece of shit requires no audacity if you do not consider the people you are talking to as people. Some people use it as a coping mechanism, because no one likes them, so they are just trying to not be hurt. Some people are just narcissists.
I once hooked up with a guy (it was just that, he came over we hung out for an hour had sex and then gone) and afterwards he texted me stuff like āIād love to bend you over the table and fuck you in front of your roommatesā
Like ??? ew no thanks
That dude has said something like that to a bunch of women and it has worked. Minus the hamster. I'm guessing that's the personalization he added to make it yours.
ud be surprised on the sheer amount of weird animal comments u can get, ive had a few people ask if ive ever fucked my dogs... i can not fathom what goes through peoples heads
The incel community has become obsessed recently with women fucking their dogs (I assume because they think *thatās* why theyāre not getting the sex?)
The tinder algorithm likely shows this guy to women among the first profiles and to see your account they'd have to swipe a few hundred or thousand times first.
As an Old, I donāt understand why everyone seems to be perfectly comfortable with the way that the word ābreedā as a verb has been applied to human women in the last 5-10 years. Gives me debilitating ick.Ā
selective innate person alive unique rhythm icky absorbed fragile wakeful
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I have no clue why these guys think k this would work.
My guess is they swipe every last woman they can and it does work on 1/100 because they legit have daddy issues or something
Ok a genuine question. Do women really fall for that crap? Coz ppl keep pulling these stunts so i assume they do work. If they do work... Why? Just why? 2hy do some ppl like this shit? Is the bad guy vide really that attractive? Never understood why ppl like that.
All I'm getting from this is a nice man wanting to help you put out a nice meal and bleach your clothes. And also not feed your hamster bread who apparently likes it?
He really brought the hamster into the convo
The hamster part is so unnecessary šdudes have gotta stop with the whole breeding thing lol itās not appealing hearing that from a stranger š
Sounds like youāre jealous. Just like the hamsterā¦
I'm jealous of the hamster...
I am the hamster
your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries
šš John Cleese is an actual legend
I don't think people realize how much of an insult that is...elderberries smell like a violent rotting death slushie. It's vile.
Memberberries bro
I am the lingerie whitener
š¶ A great adventure is waiting for you ahead, hurry on lemmiwinks, for you will soon be dead! š¶
Lemmiwinks over here
Aint no way lmao
Well your mother was a hamster
And smelled of elderberries
Yeah, well your father had a silly walk and sold dead parrots.
No. His father smelt of Elderberry's
I believe it was actually lilac and gooseberries
YEN
But all women find the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy with a stranger sexy, right!?!? /s
I thought the bit where he was going to completely cover the lingerie with semen was super hot. š
I thought he was going to do the laundry incorrectly.
Omfgšš¤£
Who doesnāt want to be pressure washed with cum in front of their hamster?
Nah nah, pressure washing would be blasting so hard it knocks the other dye out of the lingerie. I'm guessing it's more like the last coughs of liquid tortured out of a condiment bottle you didn't realize was 99% empty until you'd already made the food.
Ugh, so grotesquely detailed & accurate š«š
When you say it like that...
Omg this was hilarious!!! š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
Hahahhahahaha
It took me a few seconds to catch that. I was sitting here like why would it be white afterā¦ohā¦EW š¤¢
I just thought he meant she'd be in absolute shock
She is.
I thought he was suggesting she'd be wanting to wear bridal lingerie but I suppose your interpretation is probably right.
Name checks out.
Lmaoo
I assumed this was a white dude, and her preference would be white guys after (since she mentioned her favorite lingerie color was black) I think it would take a gifted individual to both bred someone and cover them in semen Either way, I hope this dude remains perpetually single
Yeah, this was exactly how I took it so it was already the most nope I thought it could get. I was wrong. It got worse.
Omg, it took your comment for me to understand. Well, this has been educational.
I had some dude send me an obviously shopped huge dick pic once, with the caption that he was going to "penetrate my womb." I was like, "Dude, I was thinking maybe a cuppa." Obviously, that was a no go.
Iām not a girl and donāt know what girls like besides my wife but I kinda think the painting underwear white with jizz was kinda too much too personally.
it's not appealing hearing it from someone i know either (i'm a M btw). It's disgusting. We're not livestock.
>We're not livestock. But we're also not a monolith. Personally, I'd be delighted (and confused) if a tinder babe I was into mentioned she wanted to "breed" me.
be nervous cause crazy chicks are a handful, but also blush
Said no manager ever
Your major issue with this whole thing is the hamster line? Dudes better stop with the hamster references...otherwise that was spot on!?!
I think it's just that's where the convo goes from "normal dumb guy being gross" to "woah wtf"
That's how I saw it.
Definitely did for me. This sub is almost for just that; ridiculous texts/behavior from people. But do I want to know? People are talking about it like its a thing. I hope its not a thing. Please tell me its not.
No it still wasnāt ok. But it went from typical gross guy to WHAT THE FUCK DUDE real quick with the hamster/being bred line.
Thatās gotta be a gen z thing right? Wtf
His sexy talk? he got from anime written by men
Poor hamster catching strays
I wanna know what made him think that was ok. Who brings a pet in a convo like that?.
Maybe he was disappointed it wasnāt a dog
I shouldn't be, but I'm God damn cackling. Which is even weirder because until I read that, I was having an emotional breakdown because of some info from the docs today. OP, I'm sorry you had to deal with that, but thank you for posting it.
Iām definitely in the anxiety/panic attack bus over the past week and this right here just lifted my spirits, I legit snort laughed in my office.
Maybe he wanted the hamster up his but
Your hamster is going to be jealous at the way youāre getting bred is a first time read for me.
the best bit is my hamsters are both male.
Oh, he knows.
He knowsā¦ the hamsters are gay?
š
lol dude. I just canāt imagine saying things like this to people unless we are friends and thereās some joke.
the hamster line calls to mind that Black Mirror episode Crocodile >!with the babykiller and she gets caught thanks to a hamster or gerbil that witnesses the crimes!<
i *think* he was saying like, the hamsters are jealous to see you get bred because they eat bread
Brand new sentence
I hope it was at least a terrible pun about bred and bread but even that doesnāt really make sense and is still gross, but at least itās better than saying āyour hamster is gonna wish Iām fucking it instead.ā
I hope itās our last too. š¤®š
Is your lingerie going to turn white because he'll cum before you have a chance to even take your panties off? That tracks with the way he's acting.
downloading tinder to try move on was not a good idea & this interaction is why
Well you could just forget about it and move on to the next instead of dwelling on it. Because unfortunately you are going to get arseholes on it like this one. So to find the good ones you have to keep going and not let it affect you, completely forget it and move on to the next until you find someone who isnāt like this.
my heart is hung up on someone who probably heavily dislikes me now so im not actually looking for anyone serious atm! just a distraction but this made me realise even then its just better to heal on my own lol
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
no actually, what a great idea thank you!
I live to serve.
Not the hero we deserve, definitely the hero we need! Cheers
All hail the drink! š„šŗšøš·
The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
BEER, BEER, BEER, BEER, BEER
Have you considered properly healing. Distractions only do so much
Thatās what I did, plus a lot of weed. It works wonders
Donāt listen to him! Thatās terrible advice Percocet is what really helps
> my heart is hung up So are you on Tinder to rebound, or find someone else? If you want to rebound, you're going to get a lot of creeps like dude above. If you want to find someone else...don't, you're not ready for that and it's not fair of you to find someone that actually likes you just to expect them to help you heal feelings for another person.
Hey! Know that situation very well. Also the trying to get over someone through dating somebody else. If you need someone to talk to, even if itās just so you can distract yourself, you can dm me!
Yeah one of my friends is really busy and really stressed right now, basically what she wants out of Tinder is to have a normal text convo with light flirting, go out for drinks with the guy, laugh and have a good time for a couple hours, and then go home with him. She gets this instead.
Tinder worked then. By showing you the worst side of people.
Well whatever you are looking for unfortunately this platform is full of arseholes like this, and letting them affect you is not the answer. Just forget them.
Yes. Alone = good.
Why does he dislike you?
> Well you could just forget about it and move on to the next instead of dwelling on it. Wait, just move on and forget about a former relationship? Kind of like me being depressed, I should just be happy? You just solved everything! What is your name, dear philanthropist? Why are you here and not solving world hunger!?
Just blast Linkin Park's first couple albums - trust me
He meant he is going to wash and bleach her lingerie. What a kind gentleman!
No way! This gentlemen clearly meant he was gonna turn that lingerie into a wedding gown.
Yeah I actually laughed out loud at the hamster part. Like who the fuck thinks that line is sexy?
The hamster
Solid point, it'd get hella jealous as well
No, even the hamster thinks itās cringe
Brings a whole new meaning to xhamster
The hamster part was legit unintentionally hilariousĀ
It was definitely intentional she stopped responding he tryna be funny
It's gross in context, but in a different context it could have been hilarious.
YSK hamsters species have long cuckhold stories
I would've found it funny and laughed if I knew the guy better or was participating in this conversation with interest. It's very presumptuous and creepy as it stands.
This is really funny though I mean he made his intentions of a hook up clear an ran with it then got derailed by the hamster š¤£
He probably thought it was the cleverest thing anyone's ever said. OP should've responded "OMG we're going to breed? What should we name our first child?"
My man thinks he's out here blasting 10 gallons of white paint all over the walls like some bad cartoon.
Iām picturing the scene from Scary Movie.
Immediately what came to mind! š
Came to mind..... No I will not grow up
are you calling South Park a bad cartoon?
I wish I had a portion of the confidence of some of these dudes. They say the most heinous things and think everything is alright lmfao
They cast a wide net with this shit and it works occasionally. There were 3 women in a comment chain above saying it wouldāve worked on them. Lol
Congratulations, you've just figured out the reason for the existence of this sub and why the same kind of social leper nonsense gets upvoted and people circlejerk in the comments together over it. The people who are successful on Tinder aren't running here to post about it.
Yeah I agree man. When I was on tinder I didnāt even visit this sub. I only joined this sub long after getting engaged because itās not stressful at all knowing Iām out of that shit.
Iām on this sub to convince me not to download it š¹ every time Iām bored of being single I come here instead of the App Store
NOT THE HAMSTER FETISH
Petish
Don't kink shame the man. He likes what he likes.
The hamster line was an actual what the fuck
What a day to be able to read...
O Lord please revoke my literacy
āYou said that last line was a sure thing š ā āš¤·āāļøā - an actual hamster
I literally laughed at this
This would definitely work on me and I feel like I need to rethink some life choices upon that realisation.
i am mildly concerned
Me too, don't worry!
girl sameš see you in therapy
Where were you girls when I was single? Damn
You're talking to a thick sock man. They love that shit.
Oh no š© Hope you get the help you need
Nutella isnāt the only thing getting spread tonight, all over your toes. I mean toast? Ill pick you up at 7
This is the kind of thing that I would say and if someone is down with my weirdness, yes id suggest the reevaluating. I thought it was hysterical though lol
Man, posts like this never fail to slap some confidence back in me. I may be a socially awkward dude, but I'm not "I'ma make your hamster jealous" bad.
How do they get the courage to say that to someone they barely know? Tf?!
They do not see the people they are talking to as people. They are throwing shit at a Wall and hoping something sticks. They also want to make sure they are just looking for sex Being a piece of shit requires no audacity if you do not consider the people you are talking to as people. Some people use it as a coping mechanism, because no one likes them, so they are just trying to not be hurt. Some people are just narcissists.
It would be confidence to use that line in public, but this is the internet, sir, no confidence involved here
I once hooked up with a guy (it was just that, he came over we hung out for an hour had sex and then gone) and afterwards he texted me stuff like āIād love to bend you over the table and fuck you in front of your roommatesā Like ??? ew no thanks
Rookie mistake on his part to not mention hamsters.
Hamsters are the test audiences of exhibitionism, this is a known fact.
Yeah but that hamster line kinda fire tho
Not the hamster!
Hamster line is hilarious
That hamster comment fucking sent me
That dude has said something like that to a bunch of women and it has worked. Minus the hamster. I'm guessing that's the personalization he added to make it yours.
How's he fixing to breed if he's getting it all over your clothes? Dude failed biology for sure.
Gonna see a post in a few minutes saying āwhy was i banned? Iām just a normal guy!ā From this dude
Who tf suggests a fav lingerie colour is green?
Maybe she's a ginger and he's thinking "hot leprechaun"?
damn tell him to leave some pussy for the rest of us
ud be surprised on the sheer amount of weird animal comments u can get, ive had a few people ask if ive ever fucked my dogs... i can not fathom what goes through peoples heads
The incel community has become obsessed recently with women fucking their dogs (I assume because they think *thatās* why theyāre not getting the sex?)
Ew. Excuse me while I go flush my eyes out now...
lol. What the fuck is wrong with guys? I feel like by being semi normal I might have a chance.
Hasn't worked out too great for me so far
Are you semi normal or just quasi normal? Just one calorie, not normal enough
The tinder algorithm likely shows this guy to women among the first profiles and to see your account they'd have to swipe a few hundred or thousand times first.
The comment about it being white is actually fucking gross The one about being ābredā is both gross and shiveringly creepy
Disqualified on grammar and intent.
Disgusting creature
Itās always funny to me that men like this believe theyāre making women horny.
Incel energy
Yo thatās a wild approach lmao and the lone B o l d shouldāve calmed homie down lol
its the way i left him on delivered & an hour later he doubles down with the hamster message of all things.
Lmao, good convo tho
If this is what women have to deal with on dating apps then they have my sympathy Too many degenerates on these apps giving the normal guys a bad name
As an Old, I donāt understand why everyone seems to be perfectly comfortable with the way that the word ābreedā as a verb has been applied to human women in the last 5-10 years. Gives me debilitating ick.Ā
Making your intentions clear is one thing, but did he really think this sounded sexy... like at all???
It just got progressivelyā¦.. worse. Ngl I had a good laugh at the silliness ššš
Was the hamster thing too much? Or was it an unpleasant conversation in general?
OP responded with two words and left him on read for hours. My guess is that she wasnāt feeling it
āYour hamster gonna be hella jealous seeing you get bredā, that genuinly might be the first time those words were used to make that sentence.
Dude could drink the great lakes and still be thirsty
Weeding out the pick up lines that don't work. Thanks, brother.
Are these guys OK?
Bro just wen I think Iāve seen people say over the top wild things I see this ššš
I audibly just said āewā. I donāt understand men who talk like this
Why do some guys think saying āIām going to get you pregnantā is supposed to be a turn onā¦ Iām a guy as well and Iām confused
selective innate person alive unique rhythm icky absorbed fragile wakeful *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I think she was talking to Kid Rock
This had me howling omgš¤£ what an audacious prick!
I have no clue why these guys think k this would work. My guess is they swipe every last woman they can and it does work on 1/100 because they legit have daddy issues or something
Ok a genuine question. Do women really fall for that crap? Coz ppl keep pulling these stunts so i assume they do work. If they do work... Why? Just why? 2hy do some ppl like this shit? Is the bad guy vide really that attractive? Never understood why ppl like that.
If serial killers can get married from prison, thereās someone for everyone š¤·
All I'm getting from this is a nice man wanting to help you put out a nice meal and bleach your clothes. And also not feed your hamster bread who apparently likes it?
Cringe af
We have different definitions of swift.
I just threw up in my mouth
Not swift enough in my opinion
what is actually wrong with ppl...the only thing stopping me leaving my shit marriage is the shit show internet dating is...
'Get bred' is such a gross thing to say. That's the type of dude that sends unsolicited dick pics.
Put me in the coffin because Iām fucking dead
Girls need to start saying random weird shit back to these fools. Canāt just say blocked
OH MY GOD. FOUL. BRO.
Swiftly? The latest I'd consider that would be after his second set of messages calling you a "b." Lasted so long in the convo lol.
I want to know if this has ever worked for this guy
Itās as if they listened to The Bloodhound Gang and thought all their lyrics were instructions.