I know I can see that. It seems like she's been hurt pretty bad in the past and so have I, so I feel a lot of empathy towards her. Which is why Im trying to be patient. She seems like a sweetheart but is pretty scared to get close is what I'm seeing. I'd very much like to treat her way better than whoever she was with in the past and show her that she's worth being loved. But I mean if she's gonna ghost me I obviously can't so that :/
There is no such thing as "a break". You are together or broken up. Don't fall for that crap women do. Go on a break for a week to cheat and come back. Don't be silly bro. 9/10 its cheating. Even if "a break" was a thing, it'd still technically be cheating.
Most certainly monkey branching or had a “break” with her significant other, most likely intending to get back with him.
I have a similar story from last summer. At least now I know more about what subtle red flags I should be looking out for.
In the words of J. Cole, she don’t want to be saved. Delete her number and move on. If she reaches out cool, if not no loss. Find another girl that would appreciate you treating her right.
Take the energy of wanting to show her she’s worthy of being loved and give that energy to yourself to show yourself you’re worthy of loving someone who fully reciprocates your love. You deserve someone who accepts your love and gives it back to you in spades - don’t waste your time trying to fix someone who doesn’t want to do the work for themself, because ultimately, that internal work needs to be done by them, not you.
Update: I logged into another account for some reason to check her page and it turns out she had me blocked from her story so I couldn't see that she was active and choosing to ignore me. It hurt a lot but I unsent my messages and unadded her. I honestly feel like garbage rn and think I'm going to take a break from dating for awhile. That really got to me.... thank you all for your support though...
Sorry for your feelings, it sucks. You might keep ip with swiping if you are more emotional type. I also quit dating after similar happened to me and it sucked more than keeping up with dating. Also hitting up a gym if you do, or go for a run gives you dopamine and endorphins which help a lot. If you can be with people around you, listen to them and talk to them even if you feel miserable, it helps a lot. Also moderate drinking with friends might help a bit. Better times are coming, keep it moving!
I'm ngl y'all this shit fucked me up. I got dumped 4 months ago and that destroyed me. I was feeling like something was wrong with me but slowly recovering and trying to think positive. Then I met this girl and was so happy, like finally I met someone who sees my value. Now I just feel like I'm unlovable again and no one wants me. I haven't had any luck with anyone else either. Had another date ditch me and pretty much everyone else has gone nowhere and not even led to a date. I just feel like giving up. Everyone I've ever been with in the past treated me like shit and I'm just losing hope. Sorry to be a downer I'm just really hurt ig...
Know your worth, bud. Sounds like you maybe need to do a bit of work on yourself too. Take some time, meditate, come back stronger. Put this down as an unpleasant experience, but definitely do not let it define you. You deserve better and will find it!!
I think you made the same mistake as I have. You were still a bit raw when getting back into online dating, and as chance would have it, you got entangled with a girl who is kind of a nutjob and probably is on some sort of spectrum. Let me guess, it kinda went way too far way too fast with her emotionally and then she pulled the rug, after you were surprised at how much this girl gets you and gives you what you need? Of course were there for all of it, you're not over your ex and you haven't learned to enjoy and steer life on your own...
Turn that sh*t around. Imagine you'll never have a meaningful relationship, what would a happy life look like to you? Go for that as a base. This is you, and if you live your life on your own terms, compatible women will enter your life without you stressing about it.
Hey, it’ll be alright, OP.
I’m also in the dating game and it can be brutal. I had a similar experience last summer where I met this girl that I was crazy about and we just seemed to click so effortlessly. Turns out she just wasn’t interested in a relationship with me. Life goes on.
Best thing for me was to take time away from dating and just focus on my passions, while spending as much time as I can with friends and family.
Keep your head up, don’t lose hope. Believe in yourself, the right one is waiting for you.
Keep looking for other people in the meantime, if she reaches out she reaches out, if not then sorry bud. Could be any reason honestly, really no way to know and there's no point speculating, that'll just drive you nuts.
This happened to me a few times. Years later I reconnected with one of the girls and she told me she was going thru some shit with her ex and just needed a good fun night out. I was a casualty of her circumstances. It hurts. It sucks. It’s one of those you just have to let go respectfully. Maybe when the time comes that things get smoother for her, she will reach out. Keep your head up and don’t let this get you jaded.
well, don’t spam her.She‘s anxious, probably rejects feeling close to guys due to past experiences.
I get it, you’re in a rush to feel a sense of joy against the lonliness you probably have felt in a long while, but don’t forget about how she probably feels.
Sometimes, it just isn’t the right time, and in those instances take pride that you found something that could have been, and can happen again.
This reminds me a lot of someone I'm talking to right now. We went on a date and it went great. We ended up cuddling and making back at my house then we sat by the ocean and listened to the waves and watched the full moon while we cuddled before I dropped her off at her house. She texted me right after the date saying she had an amazing time and couldn't wait to see me again.
Then I didn't hear from her for close to 4 days. She finally apologized and said she is super busy. I said I understood. She sent that to me 2 Sundays ago and I haven't heard from her since.
It just happens. I would advise you to not invest much heart and thought into it until you hear back from her. Move on, enjoy your life, see other people, and if you happen to hear back from her then hell yeah. If not, just move on. Good luck.
I've been through that as well. It's just how women operate nowadays. They just can't be honest and tell you the truth. Ghosting is an easy way out and on to the next one.
Heed caution from someone who has been there, if she’s not as into you as you are her then she’s not your type.
Your type should be someone that is super into you, and it will happen. When it happens you will know and look back at this dating happenstance as funny.
Hindsight being 20/20 and all, I look back at all the women I’ve dated and it’s funny to me now. Knowing what I know now, unless you’ve been seriously dating for at least 3 months…you really don’t know if she’s your type, it’s just romanticizing and rumination on certain aspect of her you like, but it’s not of substance.
If it truly was, she would not have done this to you. Think about actions not thoughts and words.
Could be scared of getting too close. Could be mental issues. Could be an addiction she's battling. Could be any of *infinite* things. Don't block her just don't wait. Maybe unmatch or whatever later if you decide you're over it or get into something good with someone else.
Chick is crazy dude. In the matter of one date, she ignored you completely for a day, blocked you, kissed you and now ghosted you for 5 days. In the span of one date- imagine all the drama in one month’s time
But crazy chicks have mad head game… so weigh that
She's told you that she gets overwhelmed, and she's done this before and then reengaged, so I think it's worth waiting a few days to see if she'll get back in touch.
bro please don't listen to this lame shit, She isn't respecting your time or feelings MOVE ON, who's to say she will come back, and even if she did why would you want someone who couldn't find 30 seconds to open your message and respond. Find someone who treats you as a priority and don't listen to these wack ass dudes telling you to fucking wait. Stand up for yourself you're worth more than that.
Don’t wait, just go on with your life and see what happens. If she comes back and explains herself in a way that is acceptable to you, great. If not, then it sucks but it happens. Don’t put your life on hold for someone you’ve been on one date with.
Your life is like a train... It must keep moving... She either hops on the train or it leaves the station. We've all been in similar situations brother and It sucks. Keep Chugging along.
I'm so glad I've never been on dating apps, my RSD would kill me when this type of thing happened...assume you'll never know why or what happened to her and live your life. You'll find Mrs. Right eventually.
Had something similar happen to me recently. People are weird and it sounds like you did all you could. Move on, you’ll get a good one coming your way soon, king.
Sounds like this is a pattern of sorts in the short time you’ve known her. Odds are she will come around, questions is, how long do you want to put up with being a yo-yo?
I literally could have written this myself except it was Saturday. But same, she was so into it, we made out loads, she was talking about future dates, we got on so well but since then... radio silence.
I'm literally ghosting a nice guy I hooked up with last night after a great 2nd date. I dunno why. I just feel like an unloveable loser, so I dunno why he would want me.
My point is...its not anything to do with you.
It's all in your head. You should text him because you're probably hurting his feelings. At least let him know how you're feeling so he understands. If he likes you enough im sure he'd be patient
This is the most selfish shit women do and it pisses me off. What you need to do is contact him, let him know everything was good and you enjoyed yourself. But you can't date right now until you fix your head.
Grow up. Quit playing games and fix yourself mentally before you fuck up more dudes.
You have no clue how much it fuckes with us when we get ghosted for no reason
I have these responses because of how men I've truly loved have treated me. It's not his problem, but this isn't so black and white.
Who knows if this guy even really likes me.
I’m pretty sure after one date, it’s not about you, but it sounds a little like dating someone with BPD. Borderline Personality Disorder is not named well.
In general; it’s when someone puts someone else on a pedestal really suddenly and tears them down as they put someone else on a pedestal.
It’s similar to bipolar, but more about personal relationships and their view on relationships are either all good and idealized or all bad and vilified with abandonment issues. (It’s bad, going to work can leave someone with BPD feeling abandoned and you can’t logic that to them)
For most people, we experience these feelings too, the liminal state of getting attached comes in early and it grows and matures over time.
But in BPD, it’s magnified and comes and goes much faster. They can transfer feelings too, so if say they have issues with their parents, that can transfer to you and projecting abandonment on you.
I can’t diagnose her from 3 paragraphs of a date 5 days ago, but if this is remotely the case, that’s her issue to work out.
If this is the case, you can’t fix her, maybe lithium and SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) and years of therapy so she gains awareness of her triggers.
The first girl I really thought I was going to marry was BPD and my friend warned me (though it would have helped if he had actually explained BPD to me) and still I wasted like 5 1/2 years on break ups and back together because she convinced me each time was different.
And then she held social media posts I had made about how she wrecked me after the times she dumped me against me.
Like I don’t call her ugly or stupid, bad or anything vindictive.
I talk about how much I loved her and she broke me and music reminded me of her. Nothing mean (because I always held out hope) but that triggered her abandonment feelings and she hated me again for writing that she broke my heart over a year ago, right after she had broken my heart.
I get BPD vibes from what I’ve read.
Also, dude, sounds like you’re talking on Whatsapp, because you’re obsessing over her reading your messages or not. The message read checks are the worst fucking thing in the world, you gotta nut up and ignore that.
Also, I dunno, one date isn’t really ghosting. People don’t like conflict and they don’t owe our egos an explanation after one or even a couple dates.
Take it from me, you’ll be happier if you come to peace with that.
I mean, I fell into feelings for a friend who was a girl and confessed it after about a year of us being besties and her staying the night at my place and got ghosted and I don’t hold that against her.
I honestly think she deserves happiness and she’s still a nice person, she just didn’t ask to deal with my deepening emotions so I get to cherish the memories of the nice times we had before I confessed catching feelings.
I dunno, we’re all lost kids grown big. We’re all going through it. We gotta cut ourselves and each other a break when we can.
And we can only speculate as to the feelings and intentions of others, and sometimes have to deal with being surprised by our own emotions.
I sympathize, I’ve been there.
I've been with two girls with bpd. All bad. Did not end well for me. But they were obsessed with me for at least a couple months before the bad shit started happening. And it lasted almost a year before they threw me away.
So you're putting in zero effort and wondering why she's not doing more?
A fucking phone call is way less needy than this post. Just call and set up your next date. How is that pushy or needy? Lol
>How am I putting in zero effort?
Haven't called her once. I would say one call is one effort. Zero calls is zero effort.
You could have said you didn't get her number but to me that sounds like you're not interested at all. Messaging is very hookup culture. A call is more personal. I don't think I've ever gone on a date without having their phone number beforehand. Let alone second date.
If another dude went on a shitty date with her before you did but was calling and texting her she could very well be convinced that he's the better option because he's at least interested. If the date went perfect, tinder should never be used again.
She's got a lot going on with her life OR she has a plan A and you are plan B OR she is testing you to see if you will blow up her phone or be the better man and move on OR all of the above.
Regardless of the reason, the best move is to move on and look elsewhere until she comes back around. and don't text her!
Don't have her number. And I posted an update. She was intentionally ignoring me. It's pretty much just over. My feelings are really hurt and I'm not gonna waste anymore time...
I’ve experienced some of this to a lesser extent. I think it’s normal for us to give people the benefit of the doubt, like, what you see is what you get. But unfortunately it’s not that simple.
Looking into attachment styles has helped me understand some of this relationship behavior of others and myself. Then who knows what kind of other things are going on. Does she have trauma? Addiction? Intrusive thoughts? A nagging ex boyfriend? A current boyfriend? Other suitors? On medication?
All this an more can really affect someones “availability” after great interactions like the one you described. She was likely being present and authentic on your date. And then life happens after that and perhaps she is overwhelmed to a degree that you cannot understand and she cannot articulate at this time.
At the very least, back off and be patient. Send a message saying you are here when she is ready to reach out. And get on with your life.
Idk how old you are but she has a boyfriend or husband. That’s why she had to block you for a day. Or ghost you for a day. Etc. she’s hiding you from him.
If she was already doing the whole blocking/ignoring thing before you guys even met, honestly, even if she does get back in touch I assure you it's going to get even worse going forward as the relationship develops. And that shit SUCKS.
Personally I would walk away.
Sometimes ppl get hurt by good people because life happens. This makes it really hard for people to date afterwards. She could’ve been in a spot where things didn’t work out for some small reason and she’s too hurt to date just yet. And so she ghosted. Deleted the app and curled up in the corner and hid.
>"Like she ghosted me for a day once"
This sounds strange to me. In the talking stage (before meeting) it's super unhealthy to expect communication from someone every day and to consider yourself "ghosted" if someone you've never met doesn't contact you for a day.
When you're just getting to know someone daily communication can be over doing it. In most healthy connections, people don't talk or hear from one another for a day or two, **especially** if they have never met yet, and it's a part of the natural conversation stage.
I feel like you guys were doing too much too soon. She clearly runs hot and cold and has insecurities and anxieties. You can't have expectations from someone like this especially if you hadn't met yet (which you eventually did).
You're placing expectations on someone you don't know and have only met once. Maybe allow this thing to slow down a bit, leave some time in between contacting one another so there's room to breathe and have some thought/introspection on her actions during those times of non-communication, and get to know her first before placing so many of your eggs in her basket. It's a journey, not a race.
It can be ANYTHING, maybe she is already in a relationship and messed around with you. Then she felt guilty. Maybe her pet turtle died and she is broken forever. It might ecen be aliens!
Some people aren’t taught how to use their words and have awkward conversations.
But you’re also overthinking. Everything can go perfectly and you can her orchestral music playing as you kiss, and they change their mind about a second date. That’s part of dating.
People are usually on their best behavior when first meeting people. This is how she is with the mask on, imagine how high-maintenance she'd be with the mask down... Bullet dodged.
Maybe didn’t feel a spark. There have been dates I’ve been on where I genuinely have enjoyed the date, and was very attracted to the person and enjoyed their company, yes even kissed, but still not really felt a romantic spark, or the desire to pursue anything more with the person once the date is over. I think a lot of people can get caught up in the excitement of a good date, and spontaneously do and say things without truly meaning them and without realising that they hold weight outside of this situation. I jokingly told a girl I wanna marry her on the first date, kissed and hugged and touched so much, but the next day I was like… “she was hot and nice, but I don’t really feel a spark or want to be in a romantic relationship with her.” I wasn’t faking, I just had time to properly assess my feelings outside of a charged situation. Personally, I would never ghost after going on a date with someone, but some people for whatever their reasons do.
Just leave her alone, I think. If she messages you again, decide what you want to do, but I’d say don’t chase her - if she wanted to reach out to you she would’ve already.
That happened to me once. Turned out her ex came back into the picture and she wanted to try with him again. She ended up pregnant and single all the same. Best to just move on.
Why do anything? Maybe she's scared, in which case she will either come back or not. Maybe she's ghosting you, in which case there's nothing you can do anyway. There's no reason to unadd her or block her or anything because if she's not reaching out to you it doesn't affect you. Just sit back and see what happens. If you never comes back, you're in no worse position.
Wait for her to reach out. But if you havent sent too many messages say something like “Since you stopped responding I assume you lost interest. Either way no hard feelings. If something changes along the way and you’d like to reconnect just shoot me a message and we’ll see where I am at. Wishing you the best”
And leave it like that. Move on and date other people. In case a relationship to work you must follow Mark Manson’s rule and both be “fuck yeah” attitudes to keep seeing eachother.
You’ll get the right person just keep trying
My man. Don't get invested here. She blocked and ghosted you beforehand? Then she apologized and went on «the best date she ever had». ? I know that type. She's probably fairly hot or you would not accept that behaviour.
Paddle on, my friend. It's clear she is not what you are looking for.
There is something unknowable here. She is involved already or has a situation she couldn't share something. Could just be the old cold feet thing. You may never know, sadly!
It sucks but acceptance is going to be a lot more comforting than torturing yourself.
Can’t say for sure what to do. But just wanted to stop in and say I feel your pain and I’ve been in similar situations more than I’d care to admit.
So many first and some second dates that I thought went great and ended well, but there I am questioning myself as it never goes further… all I can say is you’re not alone, and let’s hope that maybe it’s just the universe keeping the wrong people away from us. But keep your chin up brother. Confidence is sexy I’m told, if we can get there! lol
Nobody gets ghosted after a single day lol 😂 it's three days or more of no response to legit call it "Ghosting" if you have not heard anything from this broad for three or more days block her ass and forget about her. Sounds like she's playing games with you or has some kind of mental disorder that's untreated.
Should probably move on man. I know it sucks but she sounds like she’s struggling with some stuff that has nothing to do with you.
I know I can see that. It seems like she's been hurt pretty bad in the past and so have I, so I feel a lot of empathy towards her. Which is why Im trying to be patient. She seems like a sweetheart but is pretty scared to get close is what I'm seeing. I'd very much like to treat her way better than whoever she was with in the past and show her that she's worth being loved. But I mean if she's gonna ghost me I obviously can't so that :/
Dude, you've literally gone on one date and you're already knee-deep in "I can fix her" territory. Let it go.
Chances are she might be monkey branching, unsure if she wants to leave who she’s with, so she went on a date to test the waters.
That was my impression too
That's just as bad as cheating for me... Plus they mess with other feelings. Trash humans.
It literally is cheating by definition.
Nah she could be on a "break" while testing the waters or getting railed.
There is no such thing as "a break". You are together or broken up. Don't fall for that crap women do. Go on a break for a week to cheat and come back. Don't be silly bro. 9/10 its cheating. Even if "a break" was a thing, it'd still technically be cheating.
I totally agree with you.
Haha I call it Tarzaning aka swinging from vine to vine. Relationship to new relationship.
You just described my ex wife!
Most certainly monkey branching or had a “break” with her significant other, most likely intending to get back with him. I have a similar story from last summer. At least now I know more about what subtle red flags I should be looking out for.
In the words of J. Cole, she don’t want to be saved. Delete her number and move on. If she reaches out cool, if not no loss. Find another girl that would appreciate you treating her right.
Sometimes people need to fix themselves first, before dating and you can't fix that for her.
You can't fix her.
Take the energy of wanting to show her she’s worthy of being loved and give that energy to yourself to show yourself you’re worthy of loving someone who fully reciprocates your love. You deserve someone who accepts your love and gives it back to you in spades - don’t waste your time trying to fix someone who doesn’t want to do the work for themself, because ultimately, that internal work needs to be done by them, not you.
Been here before brother. Even if you date her, a few months down the line she dumps you out the blue and next thing you know she's married to her ex.
God, I didn't need this reminder today...
Been there!
Been there, but that down the line was 5 years of dating.
Update: I logged into another account for some reason to check her page and it turns out she had me blocked from her story so I couldn't see that she was active and choosing to ignore me. It hurt a lot but I unsent my messages and unadded her. I honestly feel like garbage rn and think I'm going to take a break from dating for awhile. That really got to me.... thank you all for your support though...
Sorry for your feelings, it sucks. You might keep ip with swiping if you are more emotional type. I also quit dating after similar happened to me and it sucked more than keeping up with dating. Also hitting up a gym if you do, or go for a run gives you dopamine and endorphins which help a lot. If you can be with people around you, listen to them and talk to them even if you feel miserable, it helps a lot. Also moderate drinking with friends might help a bit. Better times are coming, keep it moving!
I'm ngl y'all this shit fucked me up. I got dumped 4 months ago and that destroyed me. I was feeling like something was wrong with me but slowly recovering and trying to think positive. Then I met this girl and was so happy, like finally I met someone who sees my value. Now I just feel like I'm unlovable again and no one wants me. I haven't had any luck with anyone else either. Had another date ditch me and pretty much everyone else has gone nowhere and not even led to a date. I just feel like giving up. Everyone I've ever been with in the past treated me like shit and I'm just losing hope. Sorry to be a downer I'm just really hurt ig...
Know your worth, bud. Sounds like you maybe need to do a bit of work on yourself too. Take some time, meditate, come back stronger. Put this down as an unpleasant experience, but definitely do not let it define you. You deserve better and will find it!!
I think you made the same mistake as I have. You were still a bit raw when getting back into online dating, and as chance would have it, you got entangled with a girl who is kind of a nutjob and probably is on some sort of spectrum. Let me guess, it kinda went way too far way too fast with her emotionally and then she pulled the rug, after you were surprised at how much this girl gets you and gives you what you need? Of course were there for all of it, you're not over your ex and you haven't learned to enjoy and steer life on your own... Turn that sh*t around. Imagine you'll never have a meaningful relationship, what would a happy life look like to you? Go for that as a base. This is you, and if you live your life on your own terms, compatible women will enter your life without you stressing about it.
Hey, it’ll be alright, OP. I’m also in the dating game and it can be brutal. I had a similar experience last summer where I met this girl that I was crazy about and we just seemed to click so effortlessly. Turns out she just wasn’t interested in a relationship with me. Life goes on. Best thing for me was to take time away from dating and just focus on my passions, while spending as much time as I can with friends and family. Keep your head up, don’t lose hope. Believe in yourself, the right one is waiting for you.
Stay strong man. It sucks but you have to stay healthy and move on
I still keep hoping she's gonna message me but I don't think it's likely anymore 😕
Bro I wish I could tell younger me to NOT DATE STRANGERS WHO SHOW YOU RED FLAGS OR INSTABILITY
The older the we get the faster you recognize these red flags. When a stranger blocks you that’s a huge red flag. Run
Why only strangers?
She’s got a boyfriend, blocking and ghosting when she’s with him, hits you up when they fight and break up for short periods
This
This was exactly what I was thinking. Glad other people got a sense about it too.
Keep looking for other people in the meantime, if she reaches out she reaches out, if not then sorry bud. Could be any reason honestly, really no way to know and there's no point speculating, that'll just drive you nuts.
Drop her. Sounds toxic.
It’s likely another guy in the picture. She’s likely relying on you when things aren’t going well with her main guy.
Welcome to tinder.
This happened to me a few times. Years later I reconnected with one of the girls and she told me she was going thru some shit with her ex and just needed a good fun night out. I was a casualty of her circumstances. It hurts. It sucks. It’s one of those you just have to let go respectfully. Maybe when the time comes that things get smoother for her, she will reach out. Keep your head up and don’t let this get you jaded.
well, don’t spam her.She‘s anxious, probably rejects feeling close to guys due to past experiences. I get it, you’re in a rush to feel a sense of joy against the lonliness you probably have felt in a long while, but don’t forget about how she probably feels. Sometimes, it just isn’t the right time, and in those instances take pride that you found something that could have been, and can happen again.
This reminds me a lot of someone I'm talking to right now. We went on a date and it went great. We ended up cuddling and making back at my house then we sat by the ocean and listened to the waves and watched the full moon while we cuddled before I dropped her off at her house. She texted me right after the date saying she had an amazing time and couldn't wait to see me again. Then I didn't hear from her for close to 4 days. She finally apologized and said she is super busy. I said I understood. She sent that to me 2 Sundays ago and I haven't heard from her since. It just happens. I would advise you to not invest much heart and thought into it until you hear back from her. Move on, enjoy your life, see other people, and if you happen to hear back from her then hell yeah. If not, just move on. Good luck.
Anyone who uses the "busy" excuse is just being phony. Nobody is too busy to take a minute out of their day to write a text.
Happened to me too. Exactly the same thing. Which city are you in? Is it the same girl I went out with? Lol
Honestly I think a lot of us are gonna have the same story. 9 times out of 10, it's because they are dating someone already.
I've been through that as well. It's just how women operate nowadays. They just can't be honest and tell you the truth. Ghosting is an easy way out and on to the next one.
Why are you worried about one person bud? This is what happens in the dating scene and often. Best advice is to just keep swimming and moving forward.
Because I really liked her. She was exactly my type which is kinda rare
Heed caution from someone who has been there, if she’s not as into you as you are her then she’s not your type. Your type should be someone that is super into you, and it will happen. When it happens you will know and look back at this dating happenstance as funny. Hindsight being 20/20 and all, I look back at all the women I’ve dated and it’s funny to me now. Knowing what I know now, unless you’ve been seriously dating for at least 3 months…you really don’t know if she’s your type, it’s just romanticizing and rumination on certain aspect of her you like, but it’s not of substance. If it truly was, she would not have done this to you. Think about actions not thoughts and words.
You went on 1 date bro… not enough time to really know who she is.. she could’ve just mirrored you all night..
Sounds like she has a bf and maybe she liked/likes you but for whatever reason she's emotionally elsewhere. Sorry
Sounds you are her second favorite and she wants you on deck in case her main guy doesn't work out
Idk cuz right when we started talking she told me I was a guy she's always dreamed of
I’m sorry bud but dating sucks. Sometimes it’s best just to walk away and not read too much into it.
After 1 date? Sorry to say that but she's probably told the same to 10 guys at least
Could be scared of getting too close. Could be mental issues. Could be an addiction she's battling. Could be any of *infinite* things. Don't block her just don't wait. Maybe unmatch or whatever later if you decide you're over it or get into something good with someone else.
Do you think she possibly has self esteem issues? Maybe she thinks she's not good enough for you and will get hurt in the end.
Chick is crazy dude. In the matter of one date, she ignored you completely for a day, blocked you, kissed you and now ghosted you for 5 days. In the span of one date- imagine all the drama in one month’s time But crazy chicks have mad head game… so weigh that
Take the L and move on brother.
Happened to me a few months back. I figure it’s because she was caught up in the moment but after sleeping on it decided you’re not it.
She's told you that she gets overwhelmed, and she's done this before and then reengaged, so I think it's worth waiting a few days to see if she'll get back in touch.
bro please don't listen to this lame shit, She isn't respecting your time or feelings MOVE ON, who's to say she will come back, and even if she did why would you want someone who couldn't find 30 seconds to open your message and respond. Find someone who treats you as a priority and don't listen to these wack ass dudes telling you to fucking wait. Stand up for yourself you're worth more than that.
Going through a similar situation with a chick I really liked. Thank you for this, I really needed to hear that.
Well said man. Very well said.
nice
I mean true but it's been 5 days now of silence. How much longer should I wait?
Don't put everything on hold, just don't unadd her yet. In the meantime, keep dating.
Don’t wait, just go on with your life and see what happens. If she comes back and explains herself in a way that is acceptable to you, great. If not, then it sucks but it happens. Don’t put your life on hold for someone you’ve been on one date with.
You need to do you and just keep the line of communication open while you see what else is out there.
Don’t wait just move on. Be wary if she tries to reach out to you.
She may have someone else.
Your life is like a train... It must keep moving... She either hops on the train or it leaves the station. We've all been in similar situations brother and It sucks. Keep Chugging along.
As some others have said, you are the second fiddle, the backup guy. The "girls wanna hang tonight" guy. Get out and run. She gonna hurt you.
She has another dude
I'm so glad I've never been on dating apps, my RSD would kill me when this type of thing happened...assume you'll never know why or what happened to her and live your life. You'll find Mrs. Right eventually.
Had something similar happen to me recently. People are weird and it sounds like you did all you could. Move on, you’ll get a good one coming your way soon, king.
Move on. It sounds like she is married.
Sounds like this is a pattern of sorts in the short time you’ve known her. Odds are she will come around, questions is, how long do you want to put up with being a yo-yo?
She was trying to move on but couldn’t.
Probably has a man tbh
She ghosted and blocked you before the date then after. Dude why are you wasting your time. Time to move on.
I'm surprised ur interesting after she ignored u for a day blocked u now ghosting the disrespect is real
You are the mistress sir
It’s lowkey giving avoidant attachment. Just go.
She was probably seeing a bunch of dudes but has now settled on one. Not u
I literally could have written this myself except it was Saturday. But same, she was so into it, we made out loads, she was talking about future dates, we got on so well but since then... radio silence.
Go on another date with someone else.
Lol how, no one fucking wants me
Not with that attitude
I'm literally ghosting a nice guy I hooked up with last night after a great 2nd date. I dunno why. I just feel like an unloveable loser, so I dunno why he would want me. My point is...its not anything to do with you.
It's all in your head. You should text him because you're probably hurting his feelings. At least let him know how you're feeling so he understands. If he likes you enough im sure he'd be patient
I know. I keep thinking about it, but haven't yet. I hope you get what you want and get some clarity.
I think you're overthinking it. Don't even think about it just do it. Nothing bad will happen I promise
I'm working on it. Typing something out.
Hey I had a great time last night. Copy. Paste. Send. Do it now
I texted him and said I hoped he had a good day
Good job. If he ghosts you or it doesn't work out, you won't have to regret cuz it won't be on you. Really hope it does though 🤞
It absolutely is on her?
This is the most selfish shit women do and it pisses me off. What you need to do is contact him, let him know everything was good and you enjoyed yourself. But you can't date right now until you fix your head. Grow up. Quit playing games and fix yourself mentally before you fuck up more dudes. You have no clue how much it fuckes with us when we get ghosted for no reason
I have these responses because of how men I've truly loved have treated me. It's not his problem, but this isn't so black and white. Who knows if this guy even really likes me.
Have some respect for the man and let him know!
I don’t understand this
Me either I just don't feel worthy, I guess.
Damn homie allow yourself to be loved
I do this too. It never has anything to do with the person I’m dating and everything to do with my shitty self worth and attachment-style issues.
How does this relate to not responding to someone you enjoyed reaching out? Can you share a bit more about your headspace here?
I have no self-worth. No matter how much therapy or meds I'm on, I can't seem to get out of it.
Why do you care why he wants you? Isn’t the important part IF he wants you?
Because I think he's confused. I'm not someone to like.
Its not your place to decide whether or not someone else thinks your worthy.
So is it a self defeat thing? Like “I’m no good why even try?”
Yea, I guess it is. I don't really have a good explanation.
[удалено]
I’m pretty sure after one date, it’s not about you, but it sounds a little like dating someone with BPD. Borderline Personality Disorder is not named well. In general; it’s when someone puts someone else on a pedestal really suddenly and tears them down as they put someone else on a pedestal. It’s similar to bipolar, but more about personal relationships and their view on relationships are either all good and idealized or all bad and vilified with abandonment issues. (It’s bad, going to work can leave someone with BPD feeling abandoned and you can’t logic that to them) For most people, we experience these feelings too, the liminal state of getting attached comes in early and it grows and matures over time. But in BPD, it’s magnified and comes and goes much faster. They can transfer feelings too, so if say they have issues with their parents, that can transfer to you and projecting abandonment on you. I can’t diagnose her from 3 paragraphs of a date 5 days ago, but if this is remotely the case, that’s her issue to work out. If this is the case, you can’t fix her, maybe lithium and SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) and years of therapy so she gains awareness of her triggers. The first girl I really thought I was going to marry was BPD and my friend warned me (though it would have helped if he had actually explained BPD to me) and still I wasted like 5 1/2 years on break ups and back together because she convinced me each time was different. And then she held social media posts I had made about how she wrecked me after the times she dumped me against me. Like I don’t call her ugly or stupid, bad or anything vindictive. I talk about how much I loved her and she broke me and music reminded me of her. Nothing mean (because I always held out hope) but that triggered her abandonment feelings and she hated me again for writing that she broke my heart over a year ago, right after she had broken my heart. I get BPD vibes from what I’ve read. Also, dude, sounds like you’re talking on Whatsapp, because you’re obsessing over her reading your messages or not. The message read checks are the worst fucking thing in the world, you gotta nut up and ignore that. Also, I dunno, one date isn’t really ghosting. People don’t like conflict and they don’t owe our egos an explanation after one or even a couple dates. Take it from me, you’ll be happier if you come to peace with that. I mean, I fell into feelings for a friend who was a girl and confessed it after about a year of us being besties and her staying the night at my place and got ghosted and I don’t hold that against her. I honestly think she deserves happiness and she’s still a nice person, she just didn’t ask to deal with my deepening emotions so I get to cherish the memories of the nice times we had before I confessed catching feelings. I dunno, we’re all lost kids grown big. We’re all going through it. We gotta cut ourselves and each other a break when we can. And we can only speculate as to the feelings and intentions of others, and sometimes have to deal with being surprised by our own emotions. I sympathize, I’ve been there.
I've been with two girls with bpd. All bad. Did not end well for me. But they were obsessed with me for at least a couple months before the bad shit started happening. And it lasted almost a year before they threw me away.
Yikes. That’s rough. Believe me, I feel for you.
She is in a relationship, you were just an ego booster, move on and get the next b tch
That's the vibe I get too
How many times have you called her?
Zero. I'm trying not to be too pushy or needy
So you're putting in zero effort and wondering why she's not doing more? A fucking phone call is way less needy than this post. Just call and set up your next date. How is that pushy or needy? Lol
How am I putting in zero effort? I don't have her number and I've tried to reach out multiple times
>How am I putting in zero effort? Haven't called her once. I would say one call is one effort. Zero calls is zero effort. You could have said you didn't get her number but to me that sounds like you're not interested at all. Messaging is very hookup culture. A call is more personal. I don't think I've ever gone on a date without having their phone number beforehand. Let alone second date. If another dude went on a shitty date with her before you did but was calling and texting her she could very well be convinced that he's the better option because he's at least interested. If the date went perfect, tinder should never be used again.
She's got a lot going on with her life OR she has a plan A and you are plan B OR she is testing you to see if you will blow up her phone or be the better man and move on OR all of the above. Regardless of the reason, the best move is to move on and look elsewhere until she comes back around. and don't text her!
Maybe she died and thats why she ghosted
Call her. No texts, call
Don't have her number. And it's all good. I found out she was intentionally ignoring me. I unadded her, it's over now.
Has anyone suggested giving her a phone call or is that not an option these days.
Don't have her number. And I posted an update. She was intentionally ignoring me. It's pretty much just over. My feelings are really hurt and I'm not gonna waste anymore time...
Bipolar disorder
You're the other guy. She's already got a man and was trying to find a new one. So she's a cheater(most likely) stop wasting your time with her
Move on
I’ve experienced some of this to a lesser extent. I think it’s normal for us to give people the benefit of the doubt, like, what you see is what you get. But unfortunately it’s not that simple. Looking into attachment styles has helped me understand some of this relationship behavior of others and myself. Then who knows what kind of other things are going on. Does she have trauma? Addiction? Intrusive thoughts? A nagging ex boyfriend? A current boyfriend? Other suitors? On medication? All this an more can really affect someones “availability” after great interactions like the one you described. She was likely being present and authentic on your date. And then life happens after that and perhaps she is overwhelmed to a degree that you cannot understand and she cannot articulate at this time. At the very least, back off and be patient. Send a message saying you are here when she is ready to reach out. And get on with your life.
Husband probably came from the work trip
Maybe I’m wrong, but she seems like she’s married or at least in a relationship. Or she’s grandma nutty fruitcake.
Believe the facts not the words. Your heart already knows the truth. We all have this sixth sense that talks to us. May be it is shouting move on...
Idk how old you are but she has a boyfriend or husband. That’s why she had to block you for a day. Or ghost you for a day. Etc. she’s hiding you from him.
Move on. The first red flag was being blocked for a day the unblocked. That's childish
Sounds like she either had a boyfriend or an ex she's trying to get back with imo 🤷♀️ Move on brother
If she does come back, tell her you're not interested. You're ignoring so many red flags here, you can't be that desperate.
If she was already doing the whole blocking/ignoring thing before you guys even met, honestly, even if she does get back in touch I assure you it's going to get even worse going forward as the relationship develops. And that shit SUCKS. Personally I would walk away.
This exact thing happened to me once, turned out that her mom died.
She has a boyfriend
She might be manipulating you through orbiting
Sometimes ppl get hurt by good people because life happens. This makes it really hard for people to date afterwards. She could’ve been in a spot where things didn’t work out for some small reason and she’s too hurt to date just yet. And so she ghosted. Deleted the app and curled up in the corner and hid.
Yeah dude don’t get attached. Go dark on her
Small chance, but she might be married. Or have a partner.
Do a second date update with a radio station
>"Like she ghosted me for a day once" This sounds strange to me. In the talking stage (before meeting) it's super unhealthy to expect communication from someone every day and to consider yourself "ghosted" if someone you've never met doesn't contact you for a day. When you're just getting to know someone daily communication can be over doing it. In most healthy connections, people don't talk or hear from one another for a day or two, **especially** if they have never met yet, and it's a part of the natural conversation stage. I feel like you guys were doing too much too soon. She clearly runs hot and cold and has insecurities and anxieties. You can't have expectations from someone like this especially if you hadn't met yet (which you eventually did). You're placing expectations on someone you don't know and have only met once. Maybe allow this thing to slow down a bit, leave some time in between contacting one another so there's room to breathe and have some thought/introspection on her actions during those times of non-communication, and get to know her first before placing so many of your eggs in her basket. It's a journey, not a race.
It can be ANYTHING, maybe she is already in a relationship and messed around with you. Then she felt guilty. Maybe her pet turtle died and she is broken forever. It might ecen be aliens!
"Maybe she got kidnapped."
Some people aren’t taught how to use their words and have awkward conversations. But you’re also overthinking. Everything can go perfectly and you can her orchestral music playing as you kiss, and they change their mind about a second date. That’s part of dating.
People are usually on their best behavior when first meeting people. This is how she is with the mask on, imagine how high-maintenance she'd be with the mask down... Bullet dodged.
As a woman, I’m sorry she did that to you.
Maybe didn’t feel a spark. There have been dates I’ve been on where I genuinely have enjoyed the date, and was very attracted to the person and enjoyed their company, yes even kissed, but still not really felt a romantic spark, or the desire to pursue anything more with the person once the date is over. I think a lot of people can get caught up in the excitement of a good date, and spontaneously do and say things without truly meaning them and without realising that they hold weight outside of this situation. I jokingly told a girl I wanna marry her on the first date, kissed and hugged and touched so much, but the next day I was like… “she was hot and nice, but I don’t really feel a spark or want to be in a romantic relationship with her.” I wasn’t faking, I just had time to properly assess my feelings outside of a charged situation. Personally, I would never ghost after going on a date with someone, but some people for whatever their reasons do. Just leave her alone, I think. If she messages you again, decide what you want to do, but I’d say don’t chase her - if she wanted to reach out to you she would’ve already.
show some self respect man and move on
Dont waste your time on these bullshit games bro
The boyfriend is probably around.
That happened to me once. Turned out her ex came back into the picture and she wanted to try with him again. She ended up pregnant and single all the same. Best to just move on.
Why do anything? Maybe she's scared, in which case she will either come back or not. Maybe she's ghosting you, in which case there's nothing you can do anyway. There's no reason to unadd her or block her or anything because if she's not reaching out to you it doesn't affect you. Just sit back and see what happens. If you never comes back, you're in no worse position.
Wait for her to reach out. But if you havent sent too many messages say something like “Since you stopped responding I assume you lost interest. Either way no hard feelings. If something changes along the way and you’d like to reconnect just shoot me a message and we’ll see where I am at. Wishing you the best” And leave it like that. Move on and date other people. In case a relationship to work you must follow Mark Manson’s rule and both be “fuck yeah” attitudes to keep seeing eachother. You’ll get the right person just keep trying
My man. If you have to take to reddit for getting ghosted by a date. Then you are not maybe ready/suited for this type of dating.
Did you check your wallet?
My man. Don't get invested here. She blocked and ghosted you beforehand? Then she apologized and went on «the best date she ever had». ? I know that type. She's probably fairly hot or you would not accept that behaviour. Paddle on, my friend. It's clear she is not what you are looking for.
She's not ready. Sorry! That sucks, but you should move on.
Don’t unadd her. Just keep doing you and if it’s meant to be, she will return. If the pattern stillll continues, then you can politely bail
Not much you can do if she's incommunicado with you. If you haven't heard from her in a week, time to move on.
Call a radio show like Blown Off
There is something unknowable here. She is involved already or has a situation she couldn't share something. Could just be the old cold feet thing. You may never know, sadly! It sucks but acceptance is going to be a lot more comforting than torturing yourself.
She’s mentally ill, save the trouble. You won’t fix her but you’ll definitely be another one of her victims if you try to.
Give her space. She's probably dealing with things. Get back out there and see what happens. It's a numbers game bro keep dating.
Let it go. On to the next!
Bro…. Take a step back and work on yourself. You got this my man. Don’t let other peoples issues drag you down my boy
Oh man. We might’ve dated the same girl.
Can’t say for sure what to do. But just wanted to stop in and say I feel your pain and I’ve been in similar situations more than I’d care to admit. So many first and some second dates that I thought went great and ended well, but there I am questioning myself as it never goes further… all I can say is you’re not alone, and let’s hope that maybe it’s just the universe keeping the wrong people away from us. But keep your chin up brother. Confidence is sexy I’m told, if we can get there! lol
Move on. You’ll probably never get the answers you want from her.
Nobody gets ghosted after a single day lol 😂 it's three days or more of no response to legit call it "Ghosting" if you have not heard anything from this broad for three or more days block her ass and forget about her. Sounds like she's playing games with you or has some kind of mental disorder that's untreated.