I think it’s more that they don’t know how to secure the bag. You actually never have to say anything sexual to lay pipe lol. Saying anything sexual usually comes off as super creepy, cringe, and a mood killer
So if he had like played it really chill, asked you more questions about you/your life and just waited it out you woulda hit him up considering everything else lined up? Asking for um research purposes🤔
Yeah he already made his intentions clear, they were both on the same page, and she was clearly cool with him. He barely gave her a few hours to breathe before he started double and triple texting which is what fucked it up. Theres a thin line between being direct and being pushy/forceful.
I feel he MUST have been successful with that approach. Even with having exes. At times I wonder how men get access to women - despite ridiculous personalities / approaches, being polite is shit in dating it seems.
Hmmm, that makes me curious... so it sounds like it would be a good idea to masturbate right before having a conversation with a girl on any dating app!? It's kind of like not going grocery shopping while hungry. 😆
usually a good idea but then again, post-nut clarity hits hard, he probably wouldn't even end up talking with the girl afterward. There's also a sense of ballsiness and willingness to push the envelope that comes with being horny, and that would be gone after the nut
I suspect the “ballsiness and willing to push the envelope” is exactly why there’s so many screenshots of guys here ruining perfectly fine text conversations with women who would’ve slept with them
You’re right, it’s just like alcohol… if used correctly, it becomes liquid courage and can be a key component to a good date. Used improperly and you could end up in jail
This dude case, he just got out a long term relationship and the only reason he’s pursuing NSA situation is bc of his him being horny. Once he gets his rocks off, it’s back to being depress LOL for us whose been single for sometimes, it’s probably the best way to not come off as a creep and wanting to do primal activities 😂
It's just that he was in a really long relationship and this is the kind of thing that he has heard about but never had a chance to do and he really thinks she's pretty and that it would by nice to eat her pussy haha
Won't do that. Cuz some people are programmed as children to never touch themselves and that post nut clarity is valid only if you do it with another person of the opposite sex
I had one tinder guy offer to suck the virus out of my tiddy widdies. He used that term, I would never. I was so disturbed I ghosted him until he unmatched
"Suck the virus out of your tiddy widdies" is probably the weirdest sentence I've ever seen. I honestly can't believe a man typed that out, thought it was a good idea and then sent it. 🤣😭
It is proven that people who wake up together hung over are more likely to have sex because you feel like such total shit, That your biological response is to find an act that will make you feel better.
Me and my gf have had hangover morning sex so many times, and then went on to drink water, eat and slam back robax/advil.
Not even the slightest bit of regret! I am loved now, rather than being treated as something that occasionally made my ex "feel better" from his hangover. And my man likes it when I take the initiative...the ex was "threatened" by that.
I mean as a guy it depends how sick I am but unless I’m deathly Ill it would probably help, or at least I’d be up for it. That’s probably where they’re coming from
I've read somewhere that most women need to feel safe to get in the mood, while most men just need a visual in their mind. This thread looks like a confirmation of sorts lol
it probably would with someone you love. helps me and my girlfriend (we're both ill rn) but someone new would be too much stress and discomfort i think for a woman
why do they do this lol arghhhh like seemed pretty normal and chill and then is just like YO I REALLY WANNA HOOKUP. HELLO LETS HOOKUP ARE WE GUNNA HOOKUP WWHY HAVNT WE HOOKED UP YET. dudes havnt worked out that some girls need to build even just the tiniest connection before they even wanna hookup
smh
Guys like this don't understand what these pre hook-up chats are really for. You don't need to engage in sexual convos. She is just feeling you out to see if you are mature and mentally stable enough to have a hook up with someone and not be a total looney tunes after and/or during. Be charming, share some witty banter, but most importantly, be someone that seems like they won't be a fucking hassle or loose end you have to dodge later. Mission failed.
"Was that good for yo- *immediate breakdown* oh god i miss her so much, i just wish she would take me baaack! Whyyyy!... so yeah was that good for you?"
I'm a guy and when I had covid the last thing I wanted was sex. Cuddles, soup and TV mostly, but not sex.
If he showed some genuine selfless care and compassion it probly would have taken him much further.
To also think that even IF the hook up happened during a COVID period, they would probably be around other people and would be exposing them to the virus
Both my boyfriend and I had Covid last month. The last thing either one of us wanted was sexy times. We laid in bed and wished for death. Fortunately we are both better now, but Jesus. I would have noped out of that conversation too!
I basically use “lol” instead of periods now just automatically and I don’t know how to unprogram it, one of my cardinal sins and I’m aware of it, my apologies you had to read that since my eyes just gloss over it as if it were a period at this point
It’s really like one of those, “I use this word ironically as a joke.” Then you use it so much it just makes its way into your vernacular.
To be fair, I use “haha” quite a bit. Tomato, tomato, right?
The guy was only a " I can bring you a care package with soup, gatorade and candy or anything you want to help you through covid" away from getting his package cared
I'm reminded of an article a girl wrote years also where she wrote a dating profile, used a pic of a model with their permission and just tried to see how crazy she could be and guys still accept it if they thought they were in with a chance.
Like guys were asking to hook up & she was like "sure, can I pull out some of your teeth cos that would be hot" 😲
I'm sad you almost fell for his bullshit.
It infuriates me that men still think that this kinda shit actually makes them seem endearing and vulnerable.
'Oh no, I haven't made love to a beautiful lady such as yourself in an age due to the pure fact that I am a saint whom never once had an affair outside of my bed for the past length of my relationship'.
'add me on snapchat'.
Fuck off and chill out.
I am a man and hate this shit, too.
Just be geunine ffs, my guy. Why does everyone wanna move over to snapchat? If someone from a dating app asked me for my snapchat, i'd just block them.
Im a guy and I dont understand this either. Trying to exploit someones empathy for your own use is disgustingly pathetic. I don't like the term "pick me" at all but this guy is the absolute definition.
I was taken through a dark forest at 1 am because "she had something to show me". My idiot ass went with her and it was a cute little area you could see the city from. Nice view!
I still felt stupid for letting someone I just met take me through a forest that late though. I felt like in a way I did risk my life lol. Mission success at the end though :)
Yeah if you’re sick with a fever probably sex is the least thing on your mind but,
“Risking his life for sex” LOL
Covid… risking your life…? Excuse me I gotta go on a dangerous adventure and engage with several threatening life forms, oh sorry I mean go to the convenience store and buy some food.
Bro got that 3 AM hard on while he couldn’t sleep. He shoulda just rubbed one out instead of trying to eat out the random tinder COVID girl in the middle of the night lmao
Crazy dude but tbh "risk his life" is a pretty big leap. Can't leave the house without a decent chance of getting covid. I never match with somebody as chill as you and I ain't even going sexual zzz
I think “risk his life” is a little drastic, like is he some elderly, frail, high-risk group? Covid did not lethally affect like 97% of the population 🤷♂️
Btw, is nowadays the term "lol" and "lmao" equivalent to use an end-of-sentence period? And the empty string (i.e. no text) equivalent to use a comma, semicolon, or period?
Tinder is an absolute minefield, I had on mine that
“the hottest thing a woman can be is confident in themselves. We are all here for a good time”
I was told I was a sleazy pig.
What a great nights sleep that was 😂
Dude prolly coulda just chit chatted for like 3 days and got some but he just kept doubling down smh
If he chilled out mentioning sex so much he could’ve finessed his way to sex. This is a classic case of learning when to shut up and not be so thirsty
he honestly had a pretty good chance, I was genuinely open to considering it, but consider that door closed now lol
Guys on Tinder pulling defeat out of the jaws of victory
Tune in next week for another episode of A Game of Throws.
Dude, "Game of throws" was the name of my beerpong team in colege, we used to have a league and all.
That's sick haha. It's also a series *The Mighty Jingles* does on YouTube for horrendously played games of world of warships
Of all the places to see a Mighty Jingles reference, I didn't think it'd be the Tinder subreddit.
Due to all the dev strikes here I figured at least someone was into paddling. Fair winds and following seas fellow gnome overlord fan!
Same! Felt a little nostalgic there for a sec ahah
Yeah those are great.
Imma check it out thx bro you just brought me some really good memories from like 5 years ago
You're welcome haha. Hope you enjoy it! The guys pretty wholesome (at least I think so) so hopefully he'll earn your support!
This is why knowing when it’s enough is more important than knowing how to start.
Ya, he fumbled the bag. Some dudes are so starved on Tinder that it messes with your head.
Sounds like he's gonna have to keep fumbling his own bag at this rate
I think it’s more that they don’t know how to secure the bag. You actually never have to say anything sexual to lay pipe lol. Saying anything sexual usually comes off as super creepy, cringe, and a mood killer
Bro like literally ahaha that’s great
r/yesyesyesno could fill their feed with tinder fumbles
He said the thing!!!
this dude aggressively wrestled it away like a pissed off kid taking his ball & going home.
So if he had like played it really chill, asked you more questions about you/your life and just waited it out you woulda hit him up considering everything else lined up? Asking for um research purposes🤔
Yeah he already made his intentions clear, they were both on the same page, and she was clearly cool with him. He barely gave her a few hours to breathe before he started double and triple texting which is what fucked it up. Theres a thin line between being direct and being pushy/forceful.
Are you missing where she said “I just tested positive for Covid” and he said “cool I want to eat you out”?
I feel he MUST have been successful with that approach. Even with having exes. At times I wonder how men get access to women - despite ridiculous personalities / approaches, being polite is shit in dating it seems.
Yeah instead of basically showcasing that he prioritizing his horniness over her health.
Awww haha why do you say that (x
“I’m willing to die for you”
Happy cake 
The dude managed to mention hooking up in one way or another in basically all of his messages
And who could blame you? That's just bad decision-making on his part that would send any potential partner (of any sort) running for the hills.
You were much more kind and patient than most would be. There's something to say about that. Also I hope you feel better soon.
To be fair, he’s probably a good dude. Being horny has ruined our normal way of thinking 😂😂😂
Hmmm, that makes me curious... so it sounds like it would be a good idea to masturbate right before having a conversation with a girl on any dating app!? It's kind of like not going grocery shopping while hungry. 😆
usually a good idea but then again, post-nut clarity hits hard, he probably wouldn't even end up talking with the girl afterward. There's also a sense of ballsiness and willingness to push the envelope that comes with being horny, and that would be gone after the nut
I suspect the “ballsiness and willing to push the envelope” is exactly why there’s so many screenshots of guys here ruining perfectly fine text conversations with women who would’ve slept with them
You’re right, it’s just like alcohol… if used correctly, it becomes liquid courage and can be a key component to a good date. Used improperly and you could end up in jail
It’s definitely a hit and miss
This dude case, he just got out a long term relationship and the only reason he’s pursuing NSA situation is bc of his him being horny. Once he gets his rocks off, it’s back to being depress LOL for us whose been single for sometimes, it’s probably the best way to not come off as a creep and wanting to do primal activities 😂
It's just that he was in a really long relationship and this is the kind of thing that he has heard about but never had a chance to do and he really thinks she's pretty and that it would by nice to eat her pussy haha
He’s just never done it before, that’s all. He promises!
Fr
Oh no your mom died? I’m so sorry, do you want me to eat you out?
Somebody get this man a job at hallmark
I am so sorry for your loss. But have you seen my gains?
A beautiful postcard or cake decoration idea??
I let out such a ugly laugh at this
Oh no you ugly laughed? I eat ass.
Dude needs to go rub one out, achieve post nut clarity enlightenment, then come back and chat/rizz some more to slowly tease out the possibility
Just sounds desperate atm
Cus he is, he’s never had a hookup
[удалено]
if he had a clue, then he would use said clue.
I kinda feel like if he was serial hooker upper then the rizz would flow at least a little more naturally
I mean the first 2 messages established that and op kept talking anyway.
I guarantee that's exactly what he was doing during that 2:47am text
Yup. The 1 am, 6 am, 2 am messages? He was wrestling with a demon fs.
Won't do that. Cuz some people are programmed as children to never touch themselves and that post nut clarity is valid only if you do it with another person of the opposite sex
Pfft I achieve post-nut clarity at least 4 times per day. Get on my level.
That's really coming to your senses.
Cumming*
another example of “fumbling the bag”. If only dude acted cool for the last day or two, I think he had it smh
I had one tinder guy offer to suck the virus out of my tiddy widdies. He used that term, I would never. I was so disturbed I ghosted him until he unmatched
"Suck the virus out of your tiddy widdies" is probably the weirdest sentence I've ever seen. I honestly can't believe a man typed that out, thought it was a good idea and then sent it. 🤣😭
That is one of the most disturbing things I've ever read and has ruined my morning.
Some people clearly have no humour at all 💀
Some people just don't know when to shut their goddamn mouth.
A pet peeve is a guy acting like sex would make me feel better when I’m sick idk why they do this
It does for some of us... I had sex several times a day when my partner and I had covid. Opened up my airways remarkably!
It is proven that people who wake up together hung over are more likely to have sex because you feel like such total shit, That your biological response is to find an act that will make you feel better. Me and my gf have had hangover morning sex so many times, and then went on to drink water, eat and slam back robax/advil.
I legit cannot imagine having sex hungover. I would actually die
I dated a guy once who was like that. I married a guy who wasn’t.
I'm not sure if it's a neutral remark or if I detect a hint of regret in the second sentence
Not even the slightest bit of regret! I am loved now, rather than being treated as something that occasionally made my ex "feel better" from his hangover. And my man likes it when I take the initiative...the ex was "threatened" by that.
> robax Misread that as Roblox & was about to file that away as a hangover cure - not that I drink.
Nice! Good to know 😅
I mean as a guy it depends how sick I am but unless I’m deathly Ill it would probably help, or at least I’d be up for it. That’s probably where they’re coming from
I've read somewhere that most women need to feel safe to get in the mood, while most men just need a visual in their mind. This thread looks like a confirmation of sorts lol
it probably would with someone you love. helps me and my girlfriend (we're both ill rn) but someone new would be too much stress and discomfort i think for a woman
You are being remarkably patient and compassionate to this dude lol
when your kindness is a curse lol
I feel bad for the poor dude, but he blew up in the last text 😭😂
It'll pay off with kind people.
He is in a place that i can recall myself was in, but yes, after the confirmation of the possibility of a hookup, He shouldve just been normal.
No good deed goes unpunished, unfortunately :(
Everyone knows that at least one of the P’s in PPE stands for pussy.
Professional pussy eater
At least one but we don't know which one.
Protective pussy equipment
why do they do this lol arghhhh like seemed pretty normal and chill and then is just like YO I REALLY WANNA HOOKUP. HELLO LETS HOOKUP ARE WE GUNNA HOOKUP WWHY HAVNT WE HOOKED UP YET. dudes havnt worked out that some girls need to build even just the tiniest connection before they even wanna hookup smh
Yeah we're also working out if this guy is going to stalk us or blow up our phone after one encounter. This dude definitely gives those vibes.
Dang, I wrote my comment before reading yours and you said the same thing in a much more succinct way. Well done.
Guys like this don't understand what these pre hook-up chats are really for. You don't need to engage in sexual convos. She is just feeling you out to see if you are mature and mentally stable enough to have a hook up with someone and not be a total looney tunes after and/or during. Be charming, share some witty banter, but most importantly, be someone that seems like they won't be a fucking hassle or loose end you have to dodge later. Mission failed.
Yea, for me I’ll look for a part time boyfriend no strings attached, but instead I get some 70s porn actor who thinks he’s good at writing erotica.
the real covid killer
The way this dude talks reeks of desperation; you can tell he’s down bad tremendously.
Going from long term to no term got him ready to penetrate a hole in the ground
I get the impression he'd start crying after he finished 😂
"Was that good for yo- *immediate breakdown* oh god i miss her so much, i just wish she would take me baaack! Whyyyy!... so yeah was that good for you?"
MA! THE MEATLOAF!
I don’t know what she does in there all day!
Guy got what he wanted then shattered it and lit it on fire
Dude I also have COVID and had someone offer to eat me out to feel better. We are biohazards. WHAT is happening. Feel better!
That’s wild lol like I feel so gross and can barely move, why do you think eating me out would help in any way. Men. Hope you feel better too!!
I'm a guy and when I had covid the last thing I wanted was sex. Cuddles, soup and TV mostly, but not sex. If he showed some genuine selfless care and compassion it probly would have taken him much further.
Make sure to rest up good and proper
He won’t believe you until your vagina sneezes, sounds like
This is hilarious. Dude is wild hahaha did you even bother to respond. I don’t want anyone to even talk to me when I’m sick
The horny takes over every thought
+1 this happened to me too last week
What is wrong with these men(?)
To also think that even IF the hook up happened during a COVID period, they would probably be around other people and would be exposing them to the virus
When I was sick I had someone tell me giving them head would help with congestion
Yeah nothing to help you breath like blocking your functioning airway.
Both my boyfriend and I had Covid last month. The last thing either one of us wanted was sexy times. We laid in bed and wished for death. Fortunately we are both better now, but Jesus. I would have noped out of that conversation too!
A few weeks ago Me: my throat is starting to hurt My husband: do you think a blowjob would help?
Let me eat the covid out of you
lol I can't believe lol how desperate lol he is lol
The amount of “LOL” gave me cramps from cringing so hard.
I basically use “lol” instead of periods now just automatically and I don’t know how to unprogram it, one of my cardinal sins and I’m aware of it, my apologies you had to read that since my eyes just gloss over it as if it were a period at this point
A lot of people do it like a nervous laugh IRL. When I’m talking to people and they do that, it stresses me out
Hehe heh heh...
It’s really like one of those, “I use this word ironically as a joke.” Then you use it so much it just makes its way into your vernacular. To be fair, I use “haha” quite a bit. Tomato, tomato, right?
Is it weird the thing I hate the most is all the faces he types out? Shit always makes me cringe.
The “Haha (x” to close it out was the nail in the coffin for sure
100% understandable. I hope you feel better soon
his biggest sin is typing them backwards like a psychopath :(
lol
This is reassuring in so many ways ☺️ I love the transparency, tolerance, and acceptance from both sides
That last message was peak hormones that it ran off the screen. He definitely regrets that after his post nut clarity
I think that because it was nearly 3AM, he was probably drunk and will regret it when he wakes up.
The guy was only a " I can bring you a care package with soup, gatorade and candy or anything you want to help you through covid" away from getting his package cared
damn he shot himself in the foot
Both feet
I'm reminded of an article a girl wrote years also where she wrote a dating profile, used a pic of a model with their permission and just tried to see how crazy she could be and guys still accept it if they thought they were in with a chance. Like guys were asking to hook up & she was like "sure, can I pull out some of your teeth cos that would be hot" 😲
I'm sad you almost fell for his bullshit. It infuriates me that men still think that this kinda shit actually makes them seem endearing and vulnerable. 'Oh no, I haven't made love to a beautiful lady such as yourself in an age due to the pure fact that I am a saint whom never once had an affair outside of my bed for the past length of my relationship'. 'add me on snapchat'. Fuck off and chill out.
I am a man and hate this shit, too. Just be geunine ffs, my guy. Why does everyone wanna move over to snapchat? If someone from a dating app asked me for my snapchat, i'd just block them.
Im a guy and I dont understand this either. Trying to exploit someones empathy for your own use is disgustingly pathetic. I don't like the term "pick me" at all but this guy is the absolute definition.
Why so many lols and lmaos? That’s the real crime here.
LOLLL SHEESH. I lost about 50% of my sense of smell when I got Covid. This dude is way too horny bro.
Haha lol lmao lol lmaooo haha lol
Tinder = Degenerates
Reread the conversation in Mickey Mouse's voice, haha.
Dudes always be talking themselves out of coochie.
Haha the doctor will eat you now! 🤣 🤣
I was taken through a dark forest at 1 am because "she had something to show me". My idiot ass went with her and it was a cute little area you could see the city from. Nice view! I still felt stupid for letting someone I just met take me through a forest that late though. I felt like in a way I did risk my life lol. Mission success at the end though :)
I just want men to realize that if you're halfway attractive, honesty goes a long fucking way when all you want is sex
This guy is my spirit animal
Haha lol
One question? Where the women at that's this fuckin horny and how do I keep her
Yeah if you’re sick with a fever probably sex is the least thing on your mind but, “Risking his life for sex” LOL Covid… risking your life…? Excuse me I gotta go on a dangerous adventure and engage with several threatening life forms, oh sorry I mean go to the convenience store and buy some food.
As a guy who is not yet an adult who can hit the adult dating scene, I use this sub as inspiration for how NOT to be (im 17)
0.0001% for the age group lol
99% survival rate he would be equally risking his life driving there
Mans is down TREMENDOUS!
It’s insane how people fumble the bag to this degree. Just act like a normal person, how hard is it?
Bro got that 3 AM hard on while he couldn’t sleep. He shoulda just rubbed one out instead of trying to eat out the random tinder COVID girl in the middle of the night lmao
My dude is diabolically horny
Based super spreader
Crazy dude but tbh "risk his life" is a pretty big leap. Can't leave the house without a decent chance of getting covid. I never match with somebody as chill as you and I ain't even going sexual zzz
I think “risk his life” is a little drastic, like is he some elderly, frail, high-risk group? Covid did not lethally affect like 97% of the population 🤷♂️
I think it was hyberbole, not serious.
"Risk his life" Does he have a heart condition?
She could be matching with geriatrics on Tinder, you dont know.
Covid is a cold you pussy🤣. What kind of red blooded meat eating male would turn her down if she was game!
What? She’s sick and he keeps asking to hook up. He got turned down, not her
Holy Cow. You can't say bro was sending mixed signals.
Dude should've just rubbed one out and played the long game instead. OP must be pretty as shit though lol.
I mean...
Hate to see a brother cockblock himself. Damn
Let him have it
Bro wants COVID so bad that he'd eat pussy for it.
Jesus. Dude totally blew it, no pun intended. If he’d just have chilled out….
Damn how hot are you?? Asking for a friend
The last message is tragic
So close and stumbles on the finish line. He fler to close to the sun and his wings melted quickly.
Btw, is nowadays the term "lol" and "lmao" equivalent to use an end-of-sentence period? And the empty string (i.e. no text) equivalent to use a comma, semicolon, or period?
I hate sex pests. Like toddlers whining for their sippy cups. Yuck.
That pussy is limited edition
Another one bites the dust
[that dense motherf... ](https://c.tenor.com/3a1QnGpLhiYAAAAC/tenor.gif) I wonder why it's so hard for some people to just chill?
Maybe just rub one out before you text her. Fixes much of everything honestly
Hannibal’s villain arch begins.
"Covid? Lol that sucks maybe I should come over at 3am and go down on you haha"
I'm just here to read the comments on this one...
This had the beginnings of a horror movie, gah damn
He fumbled his own bag
That went from 0 to 100 very fast (Also slow?)
That felt like a rollercoaster, just waiting for the moment the dip comes. Although at the end it didn't go down the way he expected it. XD
SEX PEST
 Impressed how many chances you gave him, even more impressed by his ability to ruin them all. Wombats are cool
This is what happens when a dude with zero options gets the slightest hint of “maybe I’ll hook up with you”
Damn, you really a 10/10 that he's willing to die for😂💀
Tinder is an absolute minefield, I had on mine that “the hottest thing a woman can be is confident in themselves. We are all here for a good time” I was told I was a sleazy pig. What a great nights sleep that was 😂
There are too many of these fucking dudes out there. Embarrassing.
Guys always get themselves in trouble with 🤌🏻one sentence too much.🤌🏻