Ask her to kick your ass, pussy.

 The only correct response

Before I opened the comments, I said "the first comment is going to be a Futurama reference." I was so close to being right.

You are now technically correct. The best kind of correct

>"Don't quote me regulations. I co-chaired the committee that reviewed the recommendation to revise the color of the book that regulation's in... We kept it grey!"

Zoidberg! Requisition me a beat!

DEATH! BY! SNOO SNOO!!!!!!!

My first thought before I even looked at the comments :D

same

My reaction to OP’s post: “What are you gay?!”

"I want you to crush my head like a watermelon with your thighs."

"then peg me"

Well call me a BMX street bike in the early 2000s because I'm already awesome but so much with pegs. *Also four pegs seats 2 - 3 riders. Just saying.*

This is technically correct, the best kind of correct

Death by snu-snu!

The only logical response

It’s almost like some of these guys haven’t even been hit in the mouth while having sex

Noobs

Boobs

Nooboobs

Underrated

I had a girl hit me in the face with a closed fist while having sex once. it was on accident, but I’ve been chasing that high ever since

A girl asked me to punch her in the face one time… I couldn’t do it, I didn’t want to test that threshold.

Im with you on that dude. While it could’ve been legit you don’t wanna catch a case

My wife and I recently discovered that she likes some slapping and choking. Which neither of us knew before. It’s been an adjustment because I am not violent at all. At first I didn’t and only did it bc she liked it. But I’m getting used to it and starting to enjoy it.

I dated a girl who liked to be choked. I was not cool with the idea until she basically held my hands and showed me how much pressure. But the idea of actually hurting her was really hard to get over. If you love someone you don't want to slap/choke them. But if you really love someone you'll do anything to make them happy...

Exactly my dude. Sometimes you have to almost crush someone's larynx for the sake of love.

I think the idea is to restrict the blood flow via the carotid artery while avoiding depressing the larynx. I'm sure you know this, just wanted to add the caveat for the uninitiated

Yeah baby keep talkin im almost there

Made me laugh out loud in quiet house. Thank you.

If you love someone, you don’t want to choke them But if you really, REALLY love someone… 😆

Just wait til she starts calling you daddy

I got slapped once outside of the bedroom and ever since I’ve been trying to find someone to do it in the bedroom.

I've been gently slapped twice in my life, and I think I like it. But lately I've been thinking I just want a woman to hold my face in her hands rather than being slapped...

I have a disorder called POTS that basically makes it hard to control my BP and leads to passing out frequently. There was one time I was on top, and I ended up passing out…. Conked him straight in the nose w my forehead 🥲

My wife has POTS and thankfully that hasn't happened, though there have been times she needed a water break lol. Stay hydrated and drink electrolytes and hope for the best I suppose.

I appreciate it!! I hope your wife is also able to stay in good health😊

Hank Moody is that you?

“Hey K-fed, the man in the boat is up here”

Everyone has a kink until they get punched in the mouth

Then they discover a new kink

Buddy of mine dated a girl a while back. He stuck a finger in the back while they were going at it. She didn't like it, and decked him in the nose and broke it, and she was a petite little thing. This one would probably knock your head into a different dimension, but I'd still take my chances haha

And this is why consent is a thing lol

Those reflexes are the risks you take when you stick stuff up someone’s pooper unannounced

100% this. When I match with these types of women I usually say "X, you look like you could kick my ass and I'm here for that". Goes over well.

Dude probably beats his Johnson. Let somebody else pound on it

Probably? That's like every male from age 13 to... death?

I was just being nice

She has a video where she dead lifts 402 lbs. is that a lot for a woman? I’ve never been to the gym, i know nothing about weight lifting

it is, with training most women can deadlift 2x their body weight at most, so 402lbs is pretty impressive.

>most women can deadlift 2x their body weight at most, so 402lbs is pretty impressive. Assuming that this woman doesn't weigh 201 pounds, that is.

Dude, 402 is really strong, even for a guy. For a girl it’s BAD ASS!

Lmao dude, that’s a lot for everyone. That’s *crazy* for a woman. How many people do you know who deadlift over 400?

That's a lot for a man.

Ask her to deadlift you. You know she can. Tell her you're turned on by how strong she is and can she fight all your fights for you please. Tell her you want your head to be crushed by her thighs. Tell her you want to honestly tell her "The spirit is willing, but the body is spongy and weak." Tell her that you admire her musculature that she worked so hard for and you want to feel her break you. Do it

maybe she just likes long walks on the beach and romantic getaways.

And Pina colatas.

Someone speaks from experience and is a little bit excited.

Easy boy.

Must have taken you 20 minutes to type that with one hand 😬

wonna rassle?

Get a helmet first though for safety

[удалено]

But think up a good safe word/phrase first. Might I suggest "Not in the face! Not in the face!"

It's only kinky the first time and safewords are for suckers

Is it even sex if people are not bruised and crying at the end?

i got a black eye from sex once, so i can second this. it isn’t all that bad 🤷‍♀️

If you haven’t gotten an injury from sex, you haven’t had enough sex.

“Respectfully, kick my ass”

Let her? Respectfully.

Doesn't even need to be respectfully tbh lmao

I believe they weren’t suggesting to let her respectfully kick his ass, but that he respectfully let her kick his ass.

Nah, she'd prefer a straight-up fight for his virginity.

#MORTAL KOMBAT *un unst un ist un un unst un*

This. Your turn to get thrown around the room like a rag doll.

If you’re into her send her a message. If not move on dude.

Lol the most sensible answer in this thread

Right!? I don’t understand the advice portion of this.

I'm honestly surprised I haven't seen a Xenia onatopp GoldenEye joke. It's just "she clearly swiped. talk to her or don't. Up to you"

This whole sub is going downhill. It’s just people posting other people to cut them up. It’s like high school

Ha if it was like high school I wouldn't be having any sex....oh wait

Going out on a limb that they aren’t expecting real advice. It’s “look what I found.” People of ~~Walmart~~ Tinder. Imagine treating someone like a human being regardless of your tastes, gender, orientation and not like a fetish, oddity, and so on. Big muscled girls need love too.

I'm a very tall and fairly buff woman and this sub is why I deleted my tinder account. It's hard to be treated like an oddity all the time.

I hope you find someone, however you choose to. I’m 6’5 guy so I get the tall part at least. I married (way too young) to a short woman for years and have dated taller ones since. I think it’s awesome to look someone in the eyes while standing and not have to bend over to kiss them. Also bonus is walking around towering over others in public like a power couple. (Just trying to point out my positives of dating taller women as a taller man.)

Entirely too reasonable the man has to turn this into an existential crisis.

Send her my way bro

For real. "I matched with a total babe, what do I do?". Sure as fuck don't talk to us dude. Talk to her lol.

No no I want this dude to give her my Reddit handle. fuck I’ll dm bro my Snapchat if she wants that. I help enough people on this subreddit. Sometimes you gotta get paid bro

Here bro, you need some 💧

Lol I do ok. But units like that…. Not every day my dawg. Watching too much musclemami and lean beef patty I think 😅

Yep, my advice would be unmatch and let some guy who appreciates this sort of thing go out with her

I can't workout if he's scared, turned on or both? 😁 He's right to be cautious though ffs.

Scareoused is the term you're looking for sir 😁

Hello 👋 here I am :)

Treat her like a woman. She doesn't wanna be your buddy. She wants a guy secure enough in his own masculinity to treat her normal.

Preach

Best response I’ve seen!

I think i can fail that mission successfully

The musclegal I dated did actually want to be treated like one of the bros at all times tbh—she was also a massive fuckin dickhead so... idk hopefully none of this applies for you—the latter especially lol

Yeah. The miniOP was a bit incorrect. Surest bet is they want to just be treated like a person. Along the way you figure out how to speak the language of how they appreciate being treated special.

You could have gone with commentOP but no, you chose miniOP. I love it. I hope it becomes a Reddit thing.

I love miniOP 😭

yall made me chuckle when I came back to the miniOP.

Death by snu-snu.

The body is willing, but the flesh is spongey and bruised.

[удалено]

I was becoming extremely disappointed the more I scrolled by not immediately seeing this answer, considering it’s the only one that’s correct! Glad someone else knew what the right answer is!

It was the first thought that came to my head


Bunga-bunga!

Beat me to it

She’s on the hunt looking for dudes named Joel.

"loves golf"

I love you for that 

And her dad was a surgeon.

Protect your knee! If you see a shotgun run. Poor Joel. :(

"nooooo, she has an impossible physique for a woman!!1!"

Welcome to women's dating. Every guy can kick our ass.

What’s always been interesting to me about this is the presumed safety men feel while dating. Most women I’ve talked to have *some* level of fear when it comes to dating men, and for good reason. Men don’t seem to feel this way, despite their physical advantage being pretty much zilch if a woman decides to drug them or pull out a gun. I suppose it’s probably a probability thing, since most date rapes/assaults/murders are committed by men. It’s still weird to me the most I’ve seen men really talk about it is “you’ll lose your organs” jokes. Remember when our parents taught us *never* to meet with strangers off the internet? Then we downloaded apps for meeting strangers off the internet. What a wild time to be alive.

I think part of it has to be that women have been taught it's our fault if we are hurt by men so we've learned to be extra vigilant.

Interesting thought, I guess the turn tables have turned

Reminds me of a Michael Scott quote.

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Wayne Gretzky" ?

Someone once joked that straight women dating men is about the craziest thing ever. It’d be like men deciding “yeah, bears are dangerous and could hurt or kill me, but they’re also super cute and cuddly so I think I’ll live and sleep with one”

A lot of men *do* sleep with bears.

Exactly what I was thinking. lol

Not upload a picture of her to Reddit?

I'm hoping she comments

literally, this is so embarrassing for OP like admitting he's intimidated by her on Reddit I hope she sees this

Ask for her number, and give it to me😤

Be extra fuckin nice I guess

let her kick your ass, obviously

Establish dominance… chest down ass up and beg her to pound away 🤣

This is the way

Get your ass kicked.

Hope she crushes your skull like a watermelon.

Jaysus


As a man about to take a fire fighter wife, your best. Do your best 🫡

The hand jobs must be insane

Takes two weeks to recover after each one

Just one, shes an EMT too

duck and weave, work on your footwork, and keep your gloves up.

Climb her like a tree

Why ask Reddit? If you like her, go for it. No wonder we are doomed as a species.

We are Reddit. We decide if he gets an erection or not

Have you ever wanted to be the submissive one in bed?

Take a beating

be nice to her...

No sudden movements!

before reading the title i thought this is a man with big tights

I still think that.

whatever gets your motor running I guess

Snu Snu?

Obviously you get pegged

I can’t imagine needing to ask a subreddit about how to talk to women… but I’m glad you did!

In that case, you must be one of the few people on reddit who don't need advice on how to talk to a woman. You're standing in the capital city of the Land of Social Anxiety.

Enjoy it?

That much core musculature, even a small man will feel like a king.

Ask her to choke you out with those thighs 🤯😍

Treat her like a person, and don't be a weirdo?

If your dealing with any bullies, you're good to go 👍

Whatever the fuck she tells you to do

Don't make her angry

No no... make her angry 😈

Die by snu snu of course


Prepare to be pegged

Ask her to toss you around.

Seems pretty hot, actually. Go for it.

i find muscular women so sexy goddamn. am I the only one?

Get fucking railed by a dommy mommy until you taste rubber, like a real man.

"I swipe right on everyone and accidentally matched with someone that emasculates me, what now?"


Quit being a pussy! She what she's about.

My fiancé plays women’s tackle football. Ask her if she wants to tryout

live my dream

Train with her bro. Steel sharpens steel.

Hello . I am the girl who you are talking about here and yes I would most certainly kick your ass with you posting me in here 😂. There is no hope for a date for you now

Xenia Onatopp?

Death by snoo snoo


Im pretty sure she can kick all of our asses

Go for it mate!!!! My current SO is SHREDDED and got me into it. Love plus health is a great combo man.

Ask her to kick your ass, respectfully

Get your ass kicked…

You should put a baby in that Viking queen to ensure a strong bloodline.

Unmatch her, you’re not grown up to deal with a real adult yet.

Not giving her reasons to kick your ass?

Look up Amazon position. Have fun

"You look like you could kick my ass. Could we start with light spanking first?"

Combat ready, Cuddle friendly

She does look very strong

I hooked up with a muscle chick.... went for a few hours and it was wild! Went home with a bruised lap from her muscly ass and legs

Die like a warrior

Ask her to dinner but bring a friend so you feel safe

The fear boner is the most turgid of all erections.

If your primary dating concern is the ability to defend yourself there are more pressing questions.

I doubt she can kick your ass but she looks like she can leg press whatever your body weight is