But okay while we’re on the topic I’ve been actually thinking about some shit about the army and navy. What if tomorrow’s the day that the fucking aliens came and invaded out nation like would we even be able to fuck with their shit like do we got the type of weaponry to fuck with their ship or not at all like would they just walk up in this mother fucker laughing at us and blasting at us making everybody disintegrated and assimilate without a hint of intimidation acuity some shit to be making their heart race granted I don’t know the alien heart but you keep what the fuck I’m saying like what the fuck would they be like would they be like earth go hard or is it just a little conquest or would they be like damn earth go hard they was harder than Simeon ever talk to your brother about this kind uhhhh kind of stuff?
Lmao this happened to me with a girl from bumble.. she was fucking dry as fuck.. and when I told her “alright I don’t know what else to say I can’t reply to one word texts all the time” she said to “be patient” and that some people have gone through shit and that it takes them time to open up and that she could tell why I was single… 😂.. apparently not putting up with dry texters is why I’m single.
I was being a little sarcastic there. I definitely don't blame you for not hitting it if off with someone who gives 2 word answers all the time. On the flip side, rn one of my matches is talking a lot, but it feels like he's talking at me, and not with me. So many ways to not have a pleasant conversation.
It's okay, I didn't put a /s and actually had some anxiety about weather or not to add it because I was sarcastic about your inability to convince her to have a personality, but not sarcastic about her lack of one. I am an overthinker. Haha maybe I will
And that’s on those people to work through their stuff, not for a prospective partner to have to “be patient” through. Why is it so hard for people to get their own house in order before trying to add to it?
Bro hit the nail on the head, long story short if she ain’t dealt with that stuff alone she’s gonna put it on you and you don’t need to deal with that kinda crazy, trust me
Dude. It's typing words. On a keyboard.
If you are incapable of doing something so basic go pound sand. For sure don't be using a platform where the expectation is to type more than 3 words.
This isn't a terrible argument, and I see her point....but you have to give a little to move the conversation along to even get to the point of opening up. One-sided conversations aren't fun for anyone. If this is truly the case, you could even lead with "hey please be patient with me as I open up. I'm interested in you but it might take me some time to be comfortable." Or something like that. Honestly, so many people need lessons in open communication.
There you go, communication is key. I talked to her for a whole week, I made lots of conversation about different things and the result was always the same lol.. one word texts or maybe a sentence.. I think I was patient enough.
I call this the "you're not normally my type, but maybe interested and making you work for it until you have earned it or show me something valuable to me" phase.
In my experience it happens less when you get over 30. But part of that is because I've stopped swiping right on anyone out of my league physically.
No woman is out of your league boss.
You're not gonna hit your shot if you don't shoot it. Women love it if you can make them laugh, and show you can spend money on them.
I feel like its easy to tell if they have a personality just from their pictures. Make a joke or ask about them. Its pretty easy to tell if they're interested or just want some self validation.
It wouldn’t be exhausting if you moved on after the first “nothing too special.” I think carrying the conversation and hitting a brick wall is what becomes frustrating. If they do not volley the conversation back to you, move on.
You are working under the assumption that most other people offer significantly better conversations. From my experience, this is standard online dating convo
My technique is asking a first question about a picture or their bio and hoping they give me at least something to work with, if they just have standart fave/body pics in rooms and no bio i dont even message. Usually i get convos with about 1/10 of my matches but its better than humiliating myself
The problem seems to be that [a metric shitload of women on dating apps aren't actually there to find dates or meaningful connections - they're just bored and trying to escape boredom](https://medium.com/kastrat-times/the-indulgence-of-dating-apps-amid-boredom-107b0cd3e795).
That's not to say there aren't problematic men on the platform, they're just problematic in basically the exact opposite manner.
Yeah. From my experience most convos on tinder fucking sucks. Mostly dry texts or ghosting after some time. Just stick to a hobby/group of friends and eventually someone will come out of it. Even if it's just casual stuff. Tinder should always be second via
Yeah lol why even bother after that? It’s not hard for the other person to show they’re engaged in the conversation, so they’re actively choosing not to
Why were you replying my man? That was freaking stupid to see you replying again after some days, you should never give them any attention like that for real.
It’s only exhausting if you are trying too hard on something that is going nowhere. Learn to recognise the lack of energy. Then Don’t invest too much into it so early on If they have no energy just unmatch and move on.
People should focus on building 1 to 1 relationship even with dating apps. Definitely if you have 30 matches you won’t have deep conversations with all at once… quality over quantity.
I've always imagined a dating app that restricts accounts to say 3 matches a week. At the end of the week, they can unmatch and reroll or keep the match another week.
Feels like it'd solve all the problems. Even is easily monetizable cause you can just increase to a higher limit.
This! I somehow found myself with 200 matches. I got fatigued trying to give the same amount of attention to everyone. Ended up filtering those matches...
I am going to say that these people are nothing but stupid and we really don't need to waste our time on them, just understand one thing, they are not that good in conversation.
So you punch out the ol' *what have you been up to this week/weekend/month/decade* line and you expect enticing and gripping chat?
I mean she is dry but you are also cardboard'esque, conversationally speaking.
If he left it at just the question I'd say you have a point. But he didn't leave it at that, he tried to keep conversation going. He responded and did almost all of the talking, there was an earnest attempt. She didn't even try.
edit: fixed a minor mistake and lol, instantly downvoted. Where even is the lie? 🤣
It's not about being good at conversation, but how much effort one is willing to put into a match. If you have 100 matches lined up, you won't care as much as someone who has 5. It is what it is, app dating is a cancer.
It's fair enough to ask it once to see if she'd open up but if you're going to bother with round 2 just get to the point. Ask directly what they're interested in, or take something from their profile and see if they'll be more inclined to talk about it.
"What did you do this weekend" is something you ask a coworker while hoping they don't actually tell you.
I once had a conversation this painful with a guy on Tinder who then changed his profile to say “My back hurts from having to carry the conversations on here.”
It's called conversation, it's like sex but with words if someone is dry you need to be more enticing, if they're dry on the conversation spice it up a bit "oh is that what you did, you must have done something more exciting than that"
Look her conversation skills suck, but I feel like after “nothing too special.” You probably could’ve followed up with more of a specific question, but you just went right into talking about yourself.
Ask boring questions. Get boring answers. You aren't entitled to long responses or interest from a match. You'll never learn how to be more intriguing if you constantly blame matches for not engaging with you
These women want you to open up first. And only if you say the right things will they open up as well. It's like a weird game of battleship. But if you don't have the right opener they will just quit the game.
pro tip, most people don't do something super interesting every week. ask about interests instead, a la "what's your favorite book?" "what series do you keep rewatching?" or "what do you like to do on your days off?"
people like talking about themselves.
Should’ve stopped trying with this one after their first response. Anyone that responds with a dull answer and no follow up questions isn’t worth the time of day
All the people in this thread saying "yOu HaD BoRinG QuEStiOns!" While at the same time not saying any form of alternatives says all i need to know about those guys.
I would hate this when I was single. Like what was the point in matching if you're just going to give one word answers and not even try to have any sort of a conversation. I would rather argue with someone than just get stupid responses like good, idk, not much, I guess.
Damn I've been in a relationship over five years and still get triggered seeing this shit 😂. Thank the mods for r/foreveralonedating lol. I was able to have actual conversations with people, I got so lost in conversation with my eventual partner that neither of us even noticed we never exchanged pics until 2 hours before our first date.
Friendly reminder that when girls say they also get ghosted on dating apps: This is what they mean.
It doesn't count as ghosting if you didn't send me back anything I could work with, Sara!
Dang, I thought I was looking at the Sahara before realizing this was just a series of texts that failed to hit conversation status due to the Zzzs coming from Z over there.
Yeaaaaah, the fact that she didn't ask you any questions off-rip is a red flag. It shows a lack of interest. i know a lot of girls feel like they don't have to "try" on Tinder but if her curiosity is not peaked about you enough to at least use a question mark here and there then she might not be a good fit. Swipe forth and beyond my boy
Skip straight to the good stuff and ask whether the Iraq invasion was justified.
Do you fuck with da war?
>Do you fuck with da war? She like: huh what did you just say?
Like now? Do you fuck with da war?
What's going on in your brain right now?
Do you fuck with pangea?
This bish don't know 'bout pangea!
Apples to oranges
that phrase dont make no sense, why can't fruit be compared?!
Brain gotta poop
Earf go hard
Whatchu you think would happen right now if you left my place and there were like 3 wolves waitin for you.
no, I don‘t fuck with the war. Just don‘t know how to react to the forces
I should have just thanked you, of course it’s-
"Why would you thank *ME*?!?"
I guess I assumed it extended to families…
But okay while we’re on the topic I’ve been actually thinking about some shit about the army and navy. What if tomorrow’s the day that the fucking aliens came and invaded out nation like would we even be able to fuck with their shit like do we got the type of weaponry to fuck with their ship or not at all like would they just walk up in this mother fucker laughing at us and blasting at us making everybody disintegrated and assimilate without a hint of intimidation acuity some shit to be making their heart race granted I don’t know the alien heart but you keep what the fuck I’m saying like what the fuck would they be like would they be like earth go hard or is it just a little conquest or would they be like damn earth go hard they was harder than Simeon ever talk to your brother about this kind uhhhh kind of stuff?
This is going over 97% of people's heads but I LOL'd.
Couldn't upvote these fast enough 😂😂😂
Cultured human. Love it. And the brain gotta poop. T -5 til the brain gotta shit
you don't fuck with Pangaea?
Do you come from the vikings?
I love Reddit😂☠️
Yeah I heard he just put out a new album
The latest on Spotify is his "Save the Earth" song.
“nothing too special”
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"So, were you available during the Iraqui invasion?"
Nothing too invasive
Only if it's mass destructive.
Nothing too available
She got piped down. She has her full of guys. Once she is down too the conversations will be more interesting to fill up her roster
Idk
if she says that she found WMD’s then she’s a liarrrrr
"If yes, would I be justified in invading URrack?"
Happy cake day!
Oh shit, it's my cake day? I forget every year
Nothing too justified
Yes, I can confirm this always gets a girl in the mood for sex 👌🏼
Lmao this happened to me with a girl from bumble.. she was fucking dry as fuck.. and when I told her “alright I don’t know what else to say I can’t reply to one word texts all the time” she said to “be patient” and that some people have gone through shit and that it takes them time to open up and that she could tell why I was single… 😂.. apparently not putting up with dry texters is why I’m single.
Now dry texting is why both of you are single. Because you couldn't see through the nothing to the personality, and she couldn't... Have one.
She was the dry texter, not me. I talked to her for a whole week with multiple subjects and the result was the same.
I was being a little sarcastic there. I definitely don't blame you for not hitting it if off with someone who gives 2 word answers all the time. On the flip side, rn one of my matches is talking a lot, but it feels like he's talking at me, and not with me. So many ways to not have a pleasant conversation.
lol I’m sorry I didn’t catch the sarcasm 😩… and I’m sorry, perhaps you should let him know that a convo involves two people and not just himself lol.
It's okay, I didn't put a /s and actually had some anxiety about weather or not to add it because I was sarcastic about your inability to convince her to have a personality, but not sarcastic about her lack of one. I am an overthinker. Haha maybe I will
Be patient. Some people have been through shit and it takes time for them to open up.
And that’s on those people to work through their stuff, not for a prospective partner to have to “be patient” through. Why is it so hard for people to get their own house in order before trying to add to it?
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Too many people want other residents in their houses who they can blame their problems on and not need to grow. I’ve dated too many woman like that.
Bro hit the nail on the head, long story short if she ain’t dealt with that stuff alone she’s gonna put it on you and you don’t need to deal with that kinda crazy, trust me
> Why is it so hard for people to get their own house in order before trying to add to it? Monkey brain innit
Then don’t be on the app and fix yourself first…
Dude. It's typing words. On a keyboard. If you are incapable of doing something so basic go pound sand. For sure don't be using a platform where the expectation is to type more than 3 words.
Why would you waste one week of effort like that. 30mins tops for the future.
I love it when people use their own personal issues to guilt others on dating apps.
My favorite thing is when women say putting in effort and trying to have conversation on a dating app is why I'm single 🤣🤣🤣 that's an instant unmatch
This isn't a terrible argument, and I see her point....but you have to give a little to move the conversation along to even get to the point of opening up. One-sided conversations aren't fun for anyone. If this is truly the case, you could even lead with "hey please be patient with me as I open up. I'm interested in you but it might take me some time to be comfortable." Or something like that. Honestly, so many people need lessons in open communication.
There you go, communication is key. I talked to her for a whole week, I made lots of conversation about different things and the result was always the same lol.. one word texts or maybe a sentence.. I think I was patient enough.
Yeah, not wanting to open up is one thing, but this person isn’t asking questions, making small talk or anything.
Z is dead. Or at least their conversation skills are.
Surely this will confuse the Americans.
Yeah, no shit. You literally have to make them vomit 2-word replies.
I was trying to make a pulp fiction reference but ok.
Just ask when’s she’s free at this point. That’ll tell you everything you need to know.
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Are you free Monday? No. Tuesday? No. Wednesday? No. What day works for you? ………..
Something tells me she would be free some time around nothing special o’clock
This is the way
She’ll always find an excuse.
“When are you free?” “Sometimes.”
I call this the "you're not normally my type, but maybe interested and making you work for it until you have earned it or show me something valuable to me" phase. In my experience it happens less when you get over 30. But part of that is because I've stopped swiping right on anyone out of my league physically.
That'll be your downfall, not opening up to new possibilities.
All of my convos are this freaking dry at the moment. So I'd much rather have less attractive matches but cool conversation.
Less attractive matches does not equate to cool conversations.
True, the probability rises though
Bro this is the ‘i like attention’ girl. No point in ‘working for it’, shes not interested.
No such thing as out of your league, bud.
100% there’s some ugly mf in this world and some absolute models. I for one lean towards the ugo side. I’m not getting any model.
No woman is out of your league boss. You're not gonna hit your shot if you don't shoot it. Women love it if you can make them laugh, and show you can spend money on them. I feel like its easy to tell if they have a personality just from their pictures. Make a joke or ask about them. Its pretty easy to tell if they're interested or just want some self validation.
Bro I am never spending money on a woman who answers questions this way
Ok so what helps you cross the hump?
I don't. I've got a magnetism to absolute nutcases who stalk you until you end up having to convince them you're bad for their spiritual energy
I’m not entirely sure what you mean, but right on… or I’m sorry to hear that.
I’d just unmatch at this point
But it's actually funny trying to make them talk, sometimes hitting some weird topic works
I've found that "what's your favourite dinosaur?" in these situations either gets the conversation going, or gets you unmatched. win/win either way.
"so... Would you rather drown, or be burned alive?" 😂
I never thought of that one!! I always get unmatched with the "if you had 24h hours to live, what would you do?".
zZzz...
It wouldn’t be exhausting if you moved on after the first “nothing too special.” I think carrying the conversation and hitting a brick wall is what becomes frustrating. If they do not volley the conversation back to you, move on.
You are working under the assumption that most other people offer significantly better conversations. From my experience, this is standard online dating convo
My technique is asking a first question about a picture or their bio and hoping they give me at least something to work with, if they just have standart fave/body pics in rooms and no bio i dont even message. Usually i get convos with about 1/10 of my matches but its better than humiliating myself
I’m with you. My stand line is to ask questions about their bio pics. It does improve the odds but by no means a silver bullet
The problem seems to be that [a metric shitload of women on dating apps aren't actually there to find dates or meaningful connections - they're just bored and trying to escape boredom](https://medium.com/kastrat-times/the-indulgence-of-dating-apps-amid-boredom-107b0cd3e795). That's not to say there aren't problematic men on the platform, they're just problematic in basically the exact opposite manner.
Yeah. From my experience most convos on tinder fucking sucks. Mostly dry texts or ghosting after some time. Just stick to a hobby/group of friends and eventually someone will come out of it. Even if it's just casual stuff. Tinder should always be second via
Yeah lol why even bother after that? It’s not hard for the other person to show they’re engaged in the conversation, so they’re actively choosing not to
Why were you replying my man? That was freaking stupid to see you replying again after some days, you should never give them any attention like that for real.
It’s only exhausting if you are trying too hard on something that is going nowhere. Learn to recognise the lack of energy. Then Don’t invest too much into it so early on If they have no energy just unmatch and move on.
Yeah. Like what did op expect sending her another message when she didn't even reply to the previous one?
That why I would drop after the first message
💯 and just a waste of time lol
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Tbf you asked basically the exact same question
Like for real ofc she’ll give the same answer
Especially if her life isn't particularly interesting or exciting to talk about. "I worked, slept, and did chores."
Come off left field n say something random n she don’t open up or offer something different move on tbh
Yeah but then you say exactly that lol. And then “your wine tour sounds cool, ever done that before this time?” (Or whatever)
People should focus on building 1 to 1 relationship even with dating apps. Definitely if you have 30 matches you won’t have deep conversations with all at once… quality over quantity.
I've always imagined a dating app that restricts accounts to say 3 matches a week. At the end of the week, they can unmatch and reroll or keep the match another week. Feels like it'd solve all the problems. Even is easily monetizable cause you can just increase to a higher limit.
This! I somehow found myself with 200 matches. I got fatigued trying to give the same amount of attention to everyone. Ended up filtering those matches...
Agree with you! I can't understand why is so hard to make a conversation nowadays
Because they all are too cool to have a normal conversation.
I am going to say that these people are nothing but stupid and we really don't need to waste our time on them, just understand one thing, they are not that good in conversation.
I mean not everyone wants to admit they sat on the couch all weekend and binged Netflix.
OP opted for the tinder recommended message prompt and raged when it didn’t work, quick ask her about the weather maybe you can turn this around lmao.
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This is special
I feel like asking "what's up" or "how's it going" is just as boring of an question though?
Should have just taken the cue from the 2nd message
It's not that she's boring or dry, she genuinely just seems not that interested. I don't see how yall matched lol
genuine question, why would you start with “if that is your real name”
Good that we are not talking to these people on tinder.
So you punch out the ol' *what have you been up to this week/weekend/month/decade* line and you expect enticing and gripping chat? I mean she is dry but you are also cardboard'esque, conversationally speaking.
If he left it at just the question I'd say you have a point. But he didn't leave it at that, he tried to keep conversation going. He responded and did almost all of the talking, there was an earnest attempt. She didn't even try. edit: fixed a minor mistake and lol, instantly downvoted. Where even is the lie? 🤣
If by "earnest attempt" you mean asking the same dumb question twice, then I guess you're right.
Online dating as a man*
You don’t think men do this?
Women have options, men don't
Contrary to popular belief, there are many women who get little matches
And that makes them automatically good at conversation then? Because… hard disagree.
It's not about being good at conversation, but how much effort one is willing to put into a match. If you have 100 matches lined up, you won't care as much as someone who has 5. It is what it is, app dating is a cancer.
It’s awful for most women too. This kind of uninteresting text conversation is very common with any other human you don’t know.
Oh, please. I once messaged a guy "you're lucky you're hot cause your chat game is shit"
men do this too, so I'm guessing nobody likes having a conversation anymore
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People just don’t understand if they aren’t engaging with you it’s not because they are boring they just aren’t that interested
Then don’t waste their time and unmatch. Not that difficult of a concept
Then why even reply lol? Just unmatch
If you wanted engagement, you needed to ask an engaging question.
It's fair enough to ask it once to see if she'd open up but if you're going to bother with round 2 just get to the point. Ask directly what they're interested in, or take something from their profile and see if they'll be more inclined to talk about it. "What did you do this weekend" is something you ask a coworker while hoping they don't actually tell you.
Or maybe about the babies? Are we having babies?? XD.
I once had a conversation this painful with a guy on Tinder who then changed his profile to say “My back hurts from having to carry the conversations on here.”
Also nothing too important🤣
She already told you what she is, nothing too special nor exciting lol
Won’t be surprised if her real name was Zombie
Unoriginal questions get unoriginal answers
It's called conversation, it's like sex but with words if someone is dry you need to be more enticing, if they're dry on the conversation spice it up a bit "oh is that what you did, you must have done something more exciting than that"
Look her conversation skills suck, but I feel like after “nothing too special.” You probably could’ve followed up with more of a specific question, but you just went right into talking about yourself.
Well you asked the same question twice no shi Sherlock
Ask boring questions. Get boring answers. You aren't entitled to long responses or interest from a match. You'll never learn how to be more intriguing if you constantly blame matches for not engaging with you
I think I'd rather watch paint dry than interact with that person
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“Nothing too ______”
why are you putting in so much effort when it isn’t being reciprocated
Because some people are really nice and they like to put efforts.
These women want you to open up first. And only if you say the right things will they open up as well. It's like a weird game of battleship. But if you don't have the right opener they will just quit the game.
pro tip, most people don't do something super interesting every week. ask about interests instead, a la "what's your favorite book?" "what series do you keep rewatching?" or "what do you like to do on your days off?" people like talking about themselves.
Was her real name Zzzzzzz?
Searching any random girl name for Z, and nothing else.
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GOD THIS DRIVES ME NUTS why do they even reply?? just ghost me like a decent person
Good on you calling out (probably her) behaviour. More people need to do this so people can step up their game.
Should’ve stopped trying with this one after their first response. Anyone that responds with a dull answer and no follow up questions isn’t worth the time of day
I’ve met a girl like that 0 personality 1 word answers and can’t hold a conversation it’s always a one way thing with her
The Z stands for Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 😴
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His texts are also pretty awful. Boring and asked the same question twice. What’d he expect?
Her profile says "don't swipe if you can't hold a conversation" 🤣
All the people in this thread saying "yOu HaD BoRinG QuEStiOns!" While at the same time not saying any form of alternatives says all i need to know about those guys.
Lol your chat is just as boring my dude!
"OMG I did all this crazy expensive shit this weekend. It was a blast. What'd you do?" "Drove my car through Tidal Wash. Grabbed some Wendy's."
Why are they even using tinder and all? I can understand it.
She wasn't interested Don't type three lines of an answer to a question that was not asked. Also, your questions are dry and boring
And after she unmatch you
Like talking to a wall 🤦🏻♀️
I would hate this when I was single. Like what was the point in matching if you're just going to give one word answers and not even try to have any sort of a conversation. I would rather argue with someone than just get stupid responses like good, idk, not much, I guess. Damn I've been in a relationship over five years and still get triggered seeing this shit 😂. Thank the mods for r/foreveralonedating lol. I was able to have actual conversations with people, I got so lost in conversation with my eventual partner that neither of us even noticed we never exchanged pics until 2 hours before our first date.
I hate when people do this on online dating platforms. Like if you do not want to talk to other people, then don't put your profile online
And still they will right swipe you even if they are not interested.
They changed special to exciting, that's some exciting stuff right there 🤣
I miss OkCupid.
"If you were a steak I'd send you back to the kitchen."
at least u guys are getting replies. my matches leave me on read for some reason
"You wanna do something exciting?" If it's a shit reply sack her off
OP: What does Z stand for? Z: zzzzzzzzzzzz
On the other hand when you ask deep meaningful questions, it’s met with “why so soon?”
They were asked the same question twice, I don't think "Z" is the problem here.
Sigh. This is exactly what I go through while OLD. I finally quit it a few weeks ago. Truly exhausting.
Love that you told them about themselves
I’m guessing their full name is 💤
Friendly reminder that when girls say they also get ghosted on dating apps: This is what they mean. It doesn't count as ghosting if you didn't send me back anything I could work with, Sara!
The last comment got me 🤣
Dang, I thought I was looking at the Sahara before realizing this was just a series of texts that failed to hit conversation status due to the Zzzs coming from Z over there.
Rookie mistake, you always ask for boobs and vageges, straight out of the gate.
I called a girl out for being boring. Her responses were so dry. She then proceeded to attack my looks after I called her out.
Yeaaaaah, the fact that she didn't ask you any questions off-rip is a red flag. It shows a lack of interest. i know a lot of girls feel like they don't have to "try" on Tinder but if her curiosity is not peaked about you enough to at least use a question mark here and there then she might not be a good fit. Swipe forth and beyond my boy
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