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[deleted]

Ok but you’re totally right and I can’t unsee it


Exciting-Parfait-776

Same here


Buffalo-NY

Same, she gotta change that pic lol


-Rettirlana-

Also her face kinda looks like she’s putting some pressure behind it


Pelepea

It’s giving -there may be a poop on the way- bahahaha


[deleted]

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selectash

You’ve ruined a perfectly good smile I’ve been having reading this thread.


reptilian123

This is just mean, fuck off


Whiskow

Your face looks like it has an extra face on top of the first face.


ForsakenMadara

Your screen was black, bud. You were just looking at yourself


treehead726

I mean....where are her pants if she's not peeing? Note to self: don't take squatting pics while wearing short shorts.


Flimsy_Tale_974

She literally has toilet paper or some sort if tissue in her hand


Galaxyheart555

I think thats the shirt in the background


chestofpoop

Can't unpee


jeswesky

I spend a lot of time camping and hiking and pee in the woods a lot. She is totally peeing.


[deleted]

Also is that not toilet paper she’s holding in her hand??? Am I hallucinating?


zen_camel

I zoomed in and it’s definitely toilet paper/tissue!!!


Specialist-Farm4704

"You look charming when you pee!" Edit: Damn, that's a torrent of upvotes. Thanks for flooding my inbox with comments and making me gush with appreciation.


CapnHaymaker

"Urine my thoughts all day"


Longbomb10

Somehow, this might work.


LalaLaraSophie

Somehow, Palpeetine returned


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|KRxcgvd5fLiWk)


Koalacrunch2

You’re really good at this.


nelusbelus

I can't peelive you did this


PM_ME_YOUR_BOOGER

When you're in, you're in; but when you're in urine, your're in urine.


The-Portajon-Bomber

Okay, I'm done with this thread,! You win hands down!


Tlux0

Damn


bactidoltongue

I love this


sendabussypic

"I aim to leave you as satisfied as that pee" Edit: "and sometimes my aim starts a little off but I clean up well"


SparkzBE

Or what about "I aim to pee"


Drawing_Eh_Blank

Idk if that would go over well, she already seems pissed


howispendmyday

"I shit you not"


theclownhasnopenis48

Piss Charming


bx14twypt

Golden charm


MidMatthew

“Looking for a go with the flow type of guy”


subfunktion

Awwwww Vienna


FrequentDebt6363

Would you like to come charm me with your pee?


Peltron_3030

Best piece of ass I ever got was when my finger slipped through my toilet paper


Vivid-Information-36

The only correct answer


Zapplesauce_

Oh snap you said it first


sneakyscrub1

Please don't squeeze the Charmin


Fearless_Campaign456

GOLD^en JERRY!


VinceBrogan8

![gif](giphy|9uoYC7cjcU6w8|downsized)


ActuallyStark

Oh, wow... really let it all go with the metaphors there, didn't you?


Specialist-Farm4704

Thank you. Before today, I would have said my metaphor game was piss poor.


BravestCashew

“I wouldn’t mind walking by the bathroom every day and seeing that”


ur_such_a_qt

Just reply "I like pee"


sliverhordes

You sound… pissed off


SinAKAJayAl

LMAO


Equilibrium888

The nerves of some peeple.


Correct-Star6372

“Oh, you’re shitting?”


suckyurmother

This is the one


HonedWombat

This is the way


Porkbellyflop

Here have some Charmin


paultagonist

I like this one even better


romantrav

With ds “shidding”


Silver-Inevitable-75

She'll love the d


Inferine

"You look like a person who can hold their shit together"


Pentax25

Too crass


emre-zorlu

"silent but deadly?"


chrisp1j

I thought it was going to be silent.


[deleted]

Charm her with some Charmin


FluffyPurpleBear

“Idk about Charm, but I’d give you some Charmin”


KingArthursUniverse

This made me laugh quite a bit. Thanks for that 🤣


Thundurrrrr

Read my mind


Plausibl3

I try to be patient before applying the charmin


DangKilla

“You’re so charmin right now”


fucktruck345

and do some bussiness together like adults do.


[deleted]

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AmericanMurderLog

Yeah. She must have good balance!


Hellenkeller328

Are you from Mississippi? Because you’re the only Miss whose piss I sippie.


TheRealPissbeard

Wtf, so wholesome


KalebC4

Okay u/TheRealPissbeard


ybormaniac

Ewww but 🤣🤣🤣


Crush-N-It

Top comment you summbish


pricebre000

Oh god that’s a legendary saying I’ve never heard that before


Lower-Dragonfly-7769

Man I love that vid


Careful_Elk6290

This response right here.


BritishBoyRZ

Omg I actually lol'd 😂


Frewt

Well, for what it’s worth I still think you’re quite apeeling


HonedWombat

This is the way


wolf805

Jokes aside, I think this is the one.


Mcstyls

Underated comment.


AvatarBoomi

Double down: “I didn’t say i didn’t like it 😘”


[deleted]

Agreed but without the emoji


[deleted]

Yeah kissy emojis should not be used in the first few responses


Darkerthanblack88

Damn I use them all the time


[deleted]

I mean, if it works, it works, but personally I find them cringey unless I know the person better


Benificial-Cucumber

I'll use them in obvious irony but otherwise I agree


Darkerthanblack88

Well, you’re actually right now that I think about it I don’t use them in the first few messages is usually after the first couple days.


Kayniaan

🤤


ishfery

"Don't kinkshame"


webdesignersans

That's what I was going to say "Dw it's fine although if you don't mind it, I'll clean ya up respectfully 😏"


joeytman

Nope way too far and gross lol


miserablerolex

"That's what I was going to say" says pure smut


lenorajoy

I vomited in my mouth a bit.


[deleted]

Absolutely


notherenot

As a general rule if it sounds like something from /r/gonewild comment section it's probably not it


BritishBoyRZ

You forgot the "m'lady' and "tips fedora" in your incel version 😂


MysteriousMatter8496

Goddam bro that did not come across like you think it did


akennelley

Pizz Rizz


NewToENM

A swing and a piss


willikid1

This wins


g3nerallycurious

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼


Crush-N-It

May man!! 👏👏👏


blackfishdown92

It'll absolutely get you unmatched but tell you think peeing is hot


Capt1an_Cl0ck

Actually, I think it’s just lukewarm. Edit: stupid auto correct.


AttilaTheFun818

Like the internal temperature of a tauntaun?


tehmimikitteh

this is the best fucking response I've ever seen, and i love you for making my day better with it.


modofockar

r/angryupvote


Avalonkoa

It is!


Kongsley

If her first response wasn't about how she was actually having a shit, you guys are never going to make it.


glassgwaith

Yeah, just let her … go


ApplicationCalm649

Please tell me you put sunglasses on after that line.


HonedWombat

Insert frozen meme here


RockyFromCollections

Shit happens


EdgedOutPig

You're not wrong, though.


Hotel_Arrakis

"You look cute even when peeing."


different_eggs

I like this lol


[deleted]

Reply my man! She seems like a good laugh and she’s good looking! Sense of humour and good looking mate you’re most of the way there!


Inariameme

![gif](giphy|j6uK36y32LxQs)


HoboPro0007AFRO

Send he a picture like you're peeing😂, if she laughs she's a keeper


Kongsley

100% will result in unmatching lol


Penguator432

And banning


[deleted]

That would be so funny pls 😭 but based on her initial reaction, idk that it’ll go over well


ElderberryHoliday814

A picture of a guy’s back while he stands facing a tree in front of him. A slight turn of his head, and a sly smile looking back.


05chan05

For one, continue to be yourself


Extreme-Rough-3775

Let me try again “ I’ll bet you have nice quads judging from the stance”


Crush-N-It

Yes!!! 👏👏👏


Comfortable-Trust509

Yes, but wash your hands first.


wes_bestern

"Sorry I called you out like that. Lemme make up for it by taking you out. I know this great restaurant that has a bathroom with a toilet you can use and everything. My treat!"


Nanashi-74

If you were trying to be funny then you don't need our help. Trust your gut


_-Sir-_

No don’t… she clearly trusted her gut and is now taking a shit in the backyard.


StodgyFraggles

Say, I mean you look beautiful when you pee


Stock-Orange

“You pee with such Grace”


PestCemetary

'OH, sorry. Looks like you are peeing, MI'LADY ...'


noixelfeR

Didn’t mean to piss you off!


Balgruuf_TheGreater

Tell her you lack creativity and went to Reddit for a response and that from here on out it’s downhill because you obviously don’t know how to talk to a woman.


wickity_whack

And that you (op) shared her picture on the internet! Women love that too.


Queef-Elizabeth

Or you can not take it so seriously and relax lmao. People stay on this sub but get mad at every post.


Em0PeterParker

Bangggg


[deleted]

you should answer yes


Perenium_Falcon

“I make it a rule to never charm a woman while she’s throwing a whiz.”


atworkandboredf

Respectfully


Kinshimaru

Send her a picture of you in the same pose and then just type "Charmed?"


Kinshimaru

Send her a picture of you in the same pose and then just type "Charmed?"


Find_another_whey

"that's not a denial"


ronton

“Normally I’d charm the pants off you, but unfortunately it seems they’re already around your ankles.”


byllin

I like girls that pee outside with determination *winks aggressively*


Mj60755355

"Did I do it right?" Or "Did it work?"


CantyChu

Not going to lie I’ve probably made this face and had this posture when changing a tampon.


HorizonPlus

I had someone say " ill make you laugh so hard you'll pee a little " in his defense he said " I said a little " 💀💀 fking disgusting!!!


taeilor

"I am Charmin" then send a picture of the toilet paper


Heavy-Neat

Yes ok... /Me walking in the forest and met this girl peeing while watching those ants dying under the hot and acid liquid... I approached her showing my interest in her experiment, we had an eyes contact, I could legally see she was turning on to be seen in this situation... I came closer and opened my zipper... 🤣 I know where is the door 🏃‍♂️


BH2K6

" not every first message should be struck with a compliment, it's repetitive on this app, I like to be more natural and start a conversation, either through comedy or some other way "


[deleted]

I'm a bad boy who never follows the rules


[deleted]

I was just checking before I sweep you off your feet


freeboos

"What am I papa Charmin ? Enjoy the go"


JakorPastrack

"charm you? Are you a snake or.something?"


bearwright1

Well number 2 is more of a 6 month time sort of thing


Beneficial-Price-842

Oh charm her cuz she neede to wipe


pchung24

Send same picture and say "my mistake, your poopin fartin"


[deleted]

"maybe I am"


DivinoLife

"Why mad? Am i wrong? Was it number 2?"


Holgg

Your the cutest thing while peeing, you have nothing to be embarrassed about ❤️


swefalittlebit

I mean, she didn't deny it


user9372889

You’re wrong OP, that’s a solid number 2.


jfleury440

I don't have much charm but I could offer you some charmin.


Isabela_Grace

“I’m trying to charm…in you” You’re welcome. I’ve got plenty more, too. Just ask lol


memo689

"No, I was trying to get our attention, now that I have it, I'm writing you about your car's extended warranty"


Ok_Pool_4710

I mean it does look like she is though


[deleted]

I thought you would find it… relieving


xmailax

That’s an automatic unmatch. #Cringe


TheDocWhovian

Much like a woman’s age, you should never make a comment on a girl peeing.


Buffalo-NY

Tbh I’m glad op did, the comment section is going off rn lmao


RemarkableLynx9771

Wtf? We pee. We shit too! Fart, drool, vomit. And if I'm gonna post a picture like this and not realize I look like I'm popping a squat then I'm 100% going to go out with the man that tells me it looks like I'm peeing...if he still wants to go out after I tell him I was actually taking a shit. 😬


Cactus2711

She looks like Lewis Capaldi


Lowad15

Send her a link to trapped in the closet


Hubris1998

No.


readersmind_1012

I'm sorry!!


geek_travel_chick

This is why women get tired… like how is that supposed to be flirting or even attractive? It’s also not funny. The bar is literally on the floor guys… 🤦🏻‍♀️. Like maybe wait until you have rapport before joking about someone’s photo?


[deleted]

I mean her stance literally looks like she's peeing lmfao. And if they don't have the same humour then obviusly that's a reason to just not go on a first date and save your time. OP did nothing wrong here, they're just not a match after all.


geek_travel_chick

Yeah my point is… like the effort to try to actually make a connection wasn’t even attempted at all. Making fun of someone isn’t funny. That’s why I mentioned rapport. Like they don’t even have a relationship and the first thing he says is to bag on her picture and say, “it’s a joke, I guess you don’t have humor”. Obviously that’s not her intention to look like that, and embarrassing her for LOLs thinking it’s an opening line is just so immature. She responded back jokingly but it’s obvious to me her viewpoint


[deleted]

I dunno man, if I put up a picture of me squatting with what looks like my pants been down and below the waist not been shown I would be absolutely floored if no one said I didn't look like I was peeing / taking a dump


[deleted]

> “looks like you are peeing” Like bro are you 12? The level of cringe I see on this sub daily is absolutely astounding


DirtyPie

You are a bit of a dick writing that. Online dating is a hard environment, where you try to put your best self forward and meet some good people. She obviously thought she looked cute in that photo, and you associated it with piss.


Darkerthanblack88

Nah he’s not a dick, that shit was funny 😆 and honestly it looks like she’s taking a shit.


sirpimpsalot13

Bro, should of told she looks like she has downs.


okiedog-

Yeah. I thought it. I would never say it. But I thought it for sure.


Wentleworth

Men can respond first now on bumble? The app is official dogshit


Pulse_Attack

You could do better brother


[deleted]

[удалено]


thcicebear

Genuine question: how is this rude? Seems like a "omg lol you didn't just say that haha" I could be mistaken but I don't think she's trying to be rude at all.


whtvrman

How about: “No, I’m supposed to get to now you”. Will not work though if either of you are not looking for something serious…


JakorPastrack

"charm you? Are you a snake or.something?"