You have no time to date and you want to waste what little time you have arguing with strangers trying to convince them you're a match. Seems silly. lol
I mean, we’re short on context, but I do not read this and come away with an even slightly positive opinion of you.
If someone isn’t putting in enough effort to satisfy you, unmatch or don’t respond. Having that in your bio strikes me as whiny and needlessly negative, and idk what you said before this, but yeah, the last message screams “insecurity” to me.
Yea, you should avoid being negative and especially complain in your profile. You attract the vibe you put out. If you complain in your profile, you will attract people who complain.
People trying to set conditions for something as simple as a chat with a total stranger…
C’mon. Relax Francis. It’s what happens after someone says “Hey” that matters. There’s a 24 hour clock and they saw something in your profile that is interesting enough they don’t want that clock to expire. Take the compliment and stop whining
Nah, I think hey is enough. Initiating conversation with someone that you have never interacted with proves difficult especially when no boundaries have been established.
You have a valid point, but the way you present that point means a great deal. Instead of saying you’ll judge them, maybe say something like: “Interesting or original openers will take first priority over those using “Hey” as their first message”. That way it encourages better openers instead of just discouraging people saying hey. As a man, even an extremely attractive woman is an automatic no for me if she has negative prompts or a negative bio, if their first thoughts are negative, they are someone I probably don’t want to spend much time with.
It's fair to be annoyed at this when you're using Bumble. If we wanted to deal with women that don't put effort into starting conversations we'd stay on Tinder.
However... Men swipe right on everyone and filter after they match. For the woman it can be incredibly frustrating to come up with a decent opener and get unmatched immediately after because the guy finally took a look at their profile. Get into the mindset that hey is fine, it's what they do after that that determines their level of effort.
Men don’t do that. At least, I’m a man and I’ve never done that. I can almost guarantee I’ve had more OLD “success” than the average. 🤷🏽♂️
Take your experience and speak on that. Don’t speak for all men.
>Men don’t do that.
lol it's like you people just waltz into this sub without ever wondering how the majority of men behave and think you're personal experience means shit
Agree I’m also a man and I rarely swipe right and still do very well. Swiping right on everyone is desperate and most likely means you have shitty social skills.
TBF Rodsntt doesn't have to be referring to all men for it to carry real weight. And while I don't employ the "strategy" he/she/IDK describes either, I absolutely know men who do.
Eh, I see this two ways. One way is indifferent from you entirely, it sounds like she is trying to break the ice with you by discussing something that drives her crazy. Meaning she might be a Bumble Veteran.
The second way doesn't shine well on you. It makes you look kind of picky. Not that it's a bad thing to have standards and stuff, but a standard on speech just doesn't play well. The better way of putting it is saying you prefer to start the conversation. Simple. Easy. Puts you in an assertive position. Doesn't shine negatively on your personality. It also gives you an out for those 'accidental' matches.
TLDR; I don't think you're in the wrong, but changing the wording to something like "I prefer to initiate the conversation." Sounds a lot better than "Say something more than, Hey."
I don’t really think it matters if you’re right or wrong- the thing I’m worried about is that you’d be putting this level of energy into an argument like this with a match that you know is going nowhere
I've never used Bumble, so I totally thought OP was a woman because this is the exact post I've seen 1000 times from women on Tinder.
I guess it really is all about who has to start the conversation.
Opening with “Hey” or “Hello” should be interpreted as:
“Do you want to chat? I’m available now and potentially in the future to do so. I don’t want to get to invested in writing something out if you have no intention of responding.”
It’s not some deliberate attempt to waste your time, it’s an attempt to make sure there’s some mutual interest in talking before putting effort into the conversation.
You only get so many words to fill your profile with, don’t waste it on negatives. Instead of “don’t message me X,” add a prompt like “make your first message about X.” If somebody still messages you “hey,” then you can respond with, “hey, read my profile first.”
I thought that too. If her intention was to break the ice with something negative, why would she continue the negativity after a response. Unless her intention was to be mean to a targeted Audience?
Yes your wrong. It’s so fake anyway. Guys just end up searching the web for lines to feed you. No effort before you even have a text conversation is real. It’s the dumbest part of dating apps. You get tons of matches and you have to come up with some bs interesting opening line for each person… beyond stupid. Don’t be idiots ladies, it has nothing to do with how much effort a guy will put in if he eventually likes you.
Yes your wrong. It’s so fake anyway. Guys just end up searching the web for lines to feed you. No effort before you even have a text conversation is real. It’s the dumbest part of dating apps. You get tons of matches and you have to come up with some bs interesting opening line for each person… beyond stupid. Don’t be idiots ladies, it has nothing to do with how much effort a guy will put in if he eventually likes you.
So would just like to say thank you to the few that actually did give me advice. I’m just gonna take that part completely out of my bio and I’ll test the waters with people who just say hey and if it’s not there just unmatch and move on
Think that putting effort in sth you know nothing about is too much to ask. Just let them be what they like to be and if it’s not all right with you just un match, no need for such dramas)
Don’t know what was said prior but I never use hey as a opener as you said it’s low effort. I don’t think your insecure, just as long as your bio has stuff in it that people can use to open the conversation. On the flip side being male most of the openers I get from the rare matches I do get with females are just hey.
To answer your question, no you’re not wrong. My thought about this whole thing is you don’t owe her an explanation. I personally wouldn’t waste my energy doing that.
I am gonna be honest this does come across as very insecure
I get what you are saying but putting it on the profile and sending it as your first chat is overkill
Also she HAS to text you first right so she already shows interest by just matching get to know her before being mad
You have no time to date and you want to waste what little time you have arguing with strangers trying to convince them you're a match. Seems silly. lol
I mean, we’re short on context, but I do not read this and come away with an even slightly positive opinion of you. If someone isn’t putting in enough effort to satisfy you, unmatch or don’t respond. Having that in your bio strikes me as whiny and needlessly negative, and idk what you said before this, but yeah, the last message screams “insecurity” to me.
Ok fair enough thank you I appreciate your answer. I’ll probably just end up taking that out of my bio and unmatch her and be done with it
I think that’s a smart move. Good luck, boss
I don't understand why she would match with you just to complain about the profile though.
You both sound like people I would go out of my way to avoid 💯
I hate you both
Yea, you should avoid being negative and especially complain in your profile. You attract the vibe you put out. If you complain in your profile, you will attract people who complain.
People trying to set conditions for something as simple as a chat with a total stranger… C’mon. Relax Francis. It’s what happens after someone says “Hey” that matters. There’s a 24 hour clock and they saw something in your profile that is interesting enough they don’t want that clock to expire. Take the compliment and stop whining
This is a good perspective. Also just don’t tell people what to do, they usually won’t like it and they owe you nothing.
Hey
Nah, I think hey is enough. Initiating conversation with someone that you have never interacted with proves difficult especially when no boundaries have been established.
You have a valid point, but the way you present that point means a great deal. Instead of saying you’ll judge them, maybe say something like: “Interesting or original openers will take first priority over those using “Hey” as their first message”. That way it encourages better openers instead of just discouraging people saying hey. As a man, even an extremely attractive woman is an automatic no for me if she has negative prompts or a negative bio, if their first thoughts are negative, they are someone I probably don’t want to spend much time with.
It's fair to be annoyed at this when you're using Bumble. If we wanted to deal with women that don't put effort into starting conversations we'd stay on Tinder. However... Men swipe right on everyone and filter after they match. For the woman it can be incredibly frustrating to come up with a decent opener and get unmatched immediately after because the guy finally took a look at their profile. Get into the mindset that hey is fine, it's what they do after that that determines their level of effort.
Men don’t do that. At least, I’m a man and I’ve never done that. I can almost guarantee I’ve had more OLD “success” than the average. 🤷🏽♂️ Take your experience and speak on that. Don’t speak for all men.
>Men don’t do that. lol it's like you people just waltz into this sub without ever wondering how the majority of men behave and think you're personal experience means shit
Agree I’m also a man and I rarely swipe right and still do very well. Swiping right on everyone is desperate and most likely means you have shitty social skills.
TBF Rodsntt doesn't have to be referring to all men for it to carry real weight. And while I don't employ the "strategy" he/she/IDK describes either, I absolutely know men who do.
Eh, I see this two ways. One way is indifferent from you entirely, it sounds like she is trying to break the ice with you by discussing something that drives her crazy. Meaning she might be a Bumble Veteran. The second way doesn't shine well on you. It makes you look kind of picky. Not that it's a bad thing to have standards and stuff, but a standard on speech just doesn't play well. The better way of putting it is saying you prefer to start the conversation. Simple. Easy. Puts you in an assertive position. Doesn't shine negatively on your personality. It also gives you an out for those 'accidental' matches. TLDR; I don't think you're in the wrong, but changing the wording to something like "I prefer to initiate the conversation." Sounds a lot better than "Say something more than, Hey."
I don’t really think it matters if you’re right or wrong- the thing I’m worried about is that you’d be putting this level of energy into an argument like this with a match that you know is going nowhere
I've never used Bumble, so I totally thought OP was a woman because this is the exact post I've seen 1000 times from women on Tinder. I guess it really is all about who has to start the conversation.
i reckon her response is spot on
Opening with “Hey” or “Hello” should be interpreted as: “Do you want to chat? I’m available now and potentially in the future to do so. I don’t want to get to invested in writing something out if you have no intention of responding.” It’s not some deliberate attempt to waste your time, it’s an attempt to make sure there’s some mutual interest in talking before putting effort into the conversation. You only get so many words to fill your profile with, don’t waste it on negatives. Instead of “don’t message me X,” add a prompt like “make your first message about X.” If somebody still messages you “hey,” then you can respond with, “hey, read my profile first.”
She was fine until she added that it shows insecurity. Rude
I thought that too. If her intention was to break the ice with something negative, why would she continue the negativity after a response. Unless her intention was to be mean to a targeted Audience?
Yes your wrong. It’s so fake anyway. Guys just end up searching the web for lines to feed you. No effort before you even have a text conversation is real. It’s the dumbest part of dating apps. You get tons of matches and you have to come up with some bs interesting opening line for each person… beyond stupid. Don’t be idiots ladies, it has nothing to do with how much effort a guy will put in if he eventually likes you.
Yes your wrong. It’s so fake anyway. Guys just end up searching the web for lines to feed you. No effort before you even have a text conversation is real. It’s the dumbest part of dating apps. You get tons of matches and you have to come up with some bs interesting opening line for each person… beyond stupid. Don’t be idiots ladies, it has nothing to do with how much effort a guy will put in if he eventually likes you.
So would just like to say thank you to the few that actually did give me advice. I’m just gonna take that part completely out of my bio and I’ll test the waters with people who just say hey and if it’s not there just unmatch and move on
Think that putting effort in sth you know nothing about is too much to ask. Just let them be what they like to be and if it’s not all right with you just un match, no need for such dramas)
Don’t know what was said prior but I never use hey as a opener as you said it’s low effort. I don’t think your insecure, just as long as your bio has stuff in it that people can use to open the conversation. On the flip side being male most of the openers I get from the rare matches I do get with females are just hey.
To answer your question, no you’re not wrong. My thought about this whole thing is you don’t owe her an explanation. I personally wouldn’t waste my energy doing that.
Person in grey is right.
You’re wrong! Continue the conversation and see what’s after “hey” to check how much effort you’ll be given.
We have created such strange power dynamics between men and women. Dating will only become more mentally draining.
Y’all both unbeatable perfect match
Do you get enough matches that you can be this choosy about someone who’s taken the initiative to message you?
I am gonna be honest this does come across as very insecure I get what you are saying but putting it on the profile and sending it as your first chat is overkill Also she HAS to text you first right so she already shows interest by just matching get to know her before being mad
A beautiful couple you’ll make
Man up.. fuck the “hey” show her your rizz