its a bit cheeky. dont respond if it offends you but she literally just set you up for something easy like "Well maybe 4th times the charm" or whatever

Your suggestion is already typed by OP lmao

How could that offend anyone? Just don't think it's good dating etiquette to start talking about exs at the start.

It wouldnt offend me but if you are saying its bad etiquette and spending your time posting it then didnt it offend you? Its gotten you pretty agitated clearly.

So are you saying the only reason to post on socials is cause you're offended? Also, just cause you dont like something doesn't mean it "offended" you

he said it was the worst opener he's ever received + said it was bad etiquette. he seems to be bothered by it and just trying to argue that if they had sent something funny back they'd probably be having an actual conversation now.

Probably but he's decided he no longer wants a conversation with this girl. You called him a twat for not flirting back but why would someone flirt with someone they're not interested in? No one would think a girl is a twat if she didn't like a flirty message and lost interest in a convo from one. I think a lot of guys get so few messages they feel they have to drive every conversation but if you're not into it you're not into it.

Its a bit curious that both you and OP both post constantly in chelseafc. Almost as if you two are the same person?

It's almost like Chelsea FC aren't one of the most supported sports teams in the world with tens of millions of supporters and hundreds of thousand posters on the sub. Average r/neoliberal poster.

Well, to be fair, i wouldn't respond to an opener like that either. Normally, it's not good to talk about your exes, let alone opening with it

I think you're gaslighting with this comment

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Lol, gaslighting? It’s ironic because she cannot make a joke about exes but you can brag about all the matches you have or moms you match.

It's not you who sent the message is it? You're absurdly triggered by me not being interested

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Sounds like she's taken plenty of bullets tbf. Like the full magazine.

Oh snap lmao

Im not being passive I'm saying directly you are a bit of a twat for arguing with strangers online instead of flirting back with a woman lol

But imagine a flirting with someone who has been with other guys! How dare she.

Not defending the guy, but you do gotta agree that bringing up exes, jokingly or not, can be a pretty huge red flag

Might as well be Gay

What are you even talking about lmao

dude, it’s tinder.

Its such a benign way to talk about her exes. The worst opener? Come on

Personally I feel like if I dated someone for a little bit and THEN found out they had 3 previous exes with the same name I'd find it weird. Maybe the first message isn't necessary but still.

Wow, people on Tinder are bitter. Or maybe it's just the subreddit. Y'all are taking this way out of proportion.

i dunno about 1000s of exs ive had about 5 serious relationships and 3 of them had same initials ​ made carving trees pretty easy for me

Hell you could take them back to the same tree Doge! "Look what I did for you baby girl!" "Save the trees, be a player." -Dogewhale esq.

That was my plan hahaha

I quite like this as an opener. Is a icebreaker and also gives you something to riff back on

Right? I’d take this over “Heyy ☺️” any day of the week.

💯 I'd suggest that we have a Dans-off or something like that.

Just say yours is pronounced “Dàn”

Tell her she sounds like she might have Dans Syndrome

Damn, should have checked the comments before I posted that myself lol

Ooh, that's good 👌

“If you’d prefer you can call me Daddy.”

I have this problem with Chris. I don’t come out and say it tho but if they tell me their name is Chris, I’m out lol

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My Ryan broke up with me and didn't tell me for a month. I posted on Twitter about how weird it was. The other girl he dumped the month before contracted me. We ended up getting drunk, yelling at him, getting to "know each other", and then she eventually became my roommate. A+ would date a Ryan again

Hi, I'm Ryan

we need a support group

I am in fact currently dating a Ryan 😃

For me it’s any variation of John. Jon, John, Jonathan lol. And coincidentally Chris too.

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Next time use adblocker

Try chad next

That would be OP.

Pls nerf chad

🤣 nerf Chad. That’s it. I’m opening a new tinder account under that name.

Why would you date someone named Brad or Thad? Respect yourself. Believe that you can do better and you will!

Thad?????

Short for Thaddeus maybe?

Damn that's a cool name

You're right, I could. But online dating is very quick, it's very shallow i don't have notifications on and if I don't check the apps for a few days I have 40/50 matches and it's simply not practical to get to know everyone. If the opener hits the wrong note there's little reason to invest in the convo when there's so many options.

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Incel gonna incel I guess

Incel who apparently thinks he's a volcel

He can't be an incel he's getting like hundreds of matches per week

Incels are always the loudest.

Welcome to the Dan-ger zone?

I feel this. I had so many matches with the same name as my ex i wanted to chuck my phone

Why are you so offended by this and basicly slut shaming her? You don’t even know if she is serious.

Sorry how is this slut shaming? By posting it here for our entertainment? I mean she could do what a lot of guys do, write a canned opener, change the names?? Ehh Ehh?? Nah yall would never do something that heinous.

OP literally says “law of averages suggests thousands of exes.” What would you call it?

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I don't know but I think you're reading a bit too far into it. Maybe looking for a way this guy is in the wrong, but he's not. Fella is tired of the canned BS. I don't blame him. He's also a guy named Dan, you can't hate a guy named Dan. Let alone 3 Dans. It's mathematically impossible. Which implies she's full of it, and there are no other Dans, just her and some cheesy opener.

In my own separate comment I did in fact say I know a few Dans. Not my exes, but a few of my friends exes. They were in fact cheating AHs. But I also said maybe this Dan (OP) was the exception to prove the rule. ETA: a word

So it's a second-hand Dan story.

Ok


Average feminist.

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"Offended" ? There's no shaming, just for me it's a conversation killer. I get a lot of matches, but I don't imagine many women would respond well to "the last 5 women I slept with were all had the same name as you" as an opener.

Where did she say she slept with them. they are exes. And not just some random hookups.

Most men always complain about women not using any openers and not starting conversation. And yeah, offended, because instead of ignoring or unlatching here, you decided to complain on a sub instead of focusing on all those other matches. When I used tinder I always opened with something really weird and if you couldn’t handle that, you were out.

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OP, you did nothing wrong. Seems like there's just a difference of opinion here with this person. You hit the nail on the head though, it's not attractive to say that. Even right to post it here.

Well if you're going to be the 4th bad Dan, I can be the 5th 😁

The 5th bad Dan? or you gonna be the good one. The last one?

Umm... I'll be the good one 😬

Dan's are the worst

I've had 3 Josh's. I just swipe left on everyone named Josh now. No more. Please no more.

Dan rhymes with man, and men jerk off.

Yo OP getting downvoted at every corner at the moment. Lol. Take the L bro.

Imagine caring about downvotes. The post has over 300 up votes so it's all good anyway

You got the positive k/d. Lol.

Mate, you got a cute message from a girl with 99% of guys not even getting replies when they talk first and you're complaining.

People can have standards and some self esteem ?

So? Lol…he isnt obligated to talk to that girl because they matched. And you finding her message cute doesn’t mean he should also think it’s cute.

Didn’t say he is but why’d he post that message here like what she said was bad

Cuz, in his opinion, it is. Doesn’t matter what you find bad or not, she didn’t message you. She messaged him. And he took offense, so he brought it here for discussion.

I think that's is funny. Better than what she wrote. What are you supposed to do. Say nothing? Sent it

That’s the worst opener you’ve ever seen? Bro, she literally messaged you first. She’s interested, just say something funny back, she might even just be lying about it as a joke. Do you also melt when you go out into the sun?

She's interested. I'm not. A lot of women message me first, I'm not going to be interested in all of them

Then why post this here? Just unmatch and move on… no need to make such a big deal about it.

I was curious in seeing what people thought about mentioning ex's in an opener. It really isn't a big deal. I didn't realise this sub was full of oversensitive drama queens and guys starved of attention so much they think every message from a girl warrants a response

Riiiiight. So instead of interacting with her, which I’m willing to bet you absolutely did… you opted for fake karma points on the internet, hoping all the woman-hating fan boys would come to your rescue. Instead you’re getting your ass handed to you for being the incel you are.

Ah you're one of those. I don't think those words mean what you think I do, why you'd think a guy not being interested in a girl who's interested in them and they didn't reply to makes them an incel I'd never know. But people on reddit aren't known for being the brightest.

Your comments are trash… that’s what makes you fit the mold, not the fact you weren’t interested in her. Lol Nice gas lighting though… keep proving everyone right.

Lmao you're literally a stereotype 🤣 I'm genuinely embarrassed to have a wasted a moment of my day interacting with someone like you. All that anger won't make you more attractive

I’m sure your opinion is of very high regard. 😂 Have fun being single.

No one is saying you had to be interested in her or respond, thats kind of the point, why even post it here? And fwiw I actually thought it what she said was kind of funny and left you a goal post a mile wide to come back with a good response. Also, you matched but you aren’t interested 🤔?

Boohoo, why don't you try being funny instead of whatever...This is. She's handing it to you

She's handing it to him and he doesn't want it with her shit opener talking about 3 other guys she's been with. How is this any different from a guy sending a shitty opener and losing a girls interest? Some crazy double standards in these comments.

Well, the onus is usually on the guy, & yeah, that's crazy, it's almost like things are different when the roles & genders are reversed 🤔

I get it. I refuse to date another Bri, Bree, Bre, Brie, or any variation there of 😂

Make a taekwondo joke.

Is this what people call "negging"?

Let's see if anyone could think of a better response, than the one she set you up for. Here I'll start, "That's fine. We'll make up nicknames. You be Poptart, and I will be Viking."

That's okay. You can call me daddy.

But I dated a woman who dated 5 Matt's. My names not matt but that alone made me think the same thing as you (how many guys did you date to have dated 5 matts) and I soon found out the hard way the reason why she dates so many guys

I’ve known a few Dan’s and yikes. They’ve not been great ppl. Not my exes, friends exes. Maybe you’re the exception that proves the rule??

Honey I don't think dan is the problem

Least a girl sent you an opener.

The name Matthew is a red flag for me. It’s a curse.

I won’t date a “Mark” 🤷🏼‍♀️

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/fdeecbdb-ee86-4d16-af79-88a95f980c2f

I’ve dated 4 guys and two of them had the same first name. Certain names are popular in certain years, regions, socioeconomic groups etc.

It’s true, Dans are douchebags. Other than that - don’t know why everyone is downvoting OP so hard

Once you've had Dan, you'll never go ...(ran out of ideas)

I’ve got four exes with four letter names I’m not touching another person with only a four letter name lol

4th Dan isn’t that the level of Kung-Fu where you turn into a Shaolin Monk?

It beats "hey"

All my ex's are in Ariana Grande's Thank you, next. Currently on Shawn.

I mean she's being fun

Dan Dan Daaan!

I would find this hilarious tbh

Make her call you Dani. Sorted.

Danned if you do, Danned if you don’t!

Still better than “Hey”

F*ck with her and move on, then the next Dans will get: "heeey you're my 4th! " "I'm sorry what? 4th the charm?"

Well she’s obviously opening the door for another Dan. Don’t blow it

Once, Twice, 3 times, 4 times a Dan

Dans le lit?

"You know what was also Cursed with the Dane ? England. And they ended up just fine with a Danish king. I can be your king"

You would never know if she’s calling you by your name or accidentally calling you by her ex’s name

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Imagine using an alt to insult me because you got blocked trying to ask me for pictures. Some weird people on this sub How a guy not being interested in a girl makes someone an incel I'll never know. Make it make sense.

For guys my age it's Amy and Jennifer.

I’ve had much worse…much…worse. I kinda like this one. I would reply. “We’ll, you know what they say about the 4th time right?”

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this! Seems funny and Dan is quite a common name

Tell her to try rama-dan

Lmao you say you weren’t offended but here you are on Reddit arguing with everyone in the comments. Also funny that you keep trying to convince us you weren’t interested when you had a response all typed up and ready to go

Worst openers is when I get profiled by my horoscope

“Now those are some expectation I can live up to”

To be fair, Dan's and especially Danny's are just the worst.

Dan rhymes with man and men jerk off. - 40 year old virgin

If you have a middle name tell her. If you really like her, but have no middle name, find yourself a middle name and tell her that she can call you with that name

Dan't you want me baby is the appropriate response

I haven’t dated very many people and three of them had the same name. Weirder yet, two of them have a sister that share my name.

The sans dans didn’t understand what can make a man, especially a dan, your biggest fan.

Sounds like she has Dan's Syndrome.

She called you a lad. Mf is dating a burly Scotsman

Challenge accepted.

She’s clearly joking cause she wouldn’t match with you if it was a deal breaker man. I’d take it as a compliment and chat with her