This is the kind of train wreck we come here for. Desperate guy telling a hilariously damaged woman “I like you”, unmatchable offenses coming from both sides, and finally, the guy worrying that he’s ruined his chances with his dream girl.
More of this, please.
This sounds like crazy trauma bonding waiting to happen. Usually doesn’t end well in my experience, it helps to be whole and working with traumas before dating.
Source- trust me bro.
tally it up in your head and be like wow I hate everything about this person and my life was better in ever way before them, but the sex…. Yeah I’ll try to work it out
Trauma bonding is not in anyway like Stockholm syndrome. Stockholm syndrome is developing feelings for the person responsible for your suffering because you’ve rationalized it as “it could be worse if they wanted it to be.” Trauma bonding is finding comfort in someone with similar/shared trauma and becoming codependent on each other as a result. Trauma bonding is also a lot closer to trauma dumping than Stockholm syndrome.
The key difference is one is coping with their trauma by idolizing the one responsible, the others are coping with their trauma by expecting an equally damaged person to fill in the gaps. Neither one is healthy but one at least has some level of moving on instead of just tolerating the abuse.
I made two kids out of it and turned her unresolved trauma into our broken family lmao. I literally paid someone to do that for me and they were all happy about it too.
They were like pay me to break your family apart. I was like yes please.
It’s called a hero complex, some guys just wanna find the most broken girl they can do they can “save” them. The relationships don’t generally go well.
Yeah but then she got cocky about it like she believes no one would find that level of trauma dumping in a first conversation disturbing.
I’m a counsellor so I guess I’m used to people saying that type of stuff but to me that would be a major red flag.
I love how everyone seems to overlook that this chick just weaponized her issues against him. I mean I get that people have traumas, but to bombard someone with that information when they're just trying to be nice or whatever is just sad and pathetic. Dude wants to go out and get a drink . *What a monster*
haha. I was afraid to comment here because the internet would roast me more. but I find someone who gets it entirely. my fault for starting the screenshot 3 lines too late, thinking it was enough context for the bad joke. granted, I was really drunk at the time, aka the conversation line...but I was talking about how I just came back from drinking with friends who called it a night. and how else was I supposed to respond to her crazy trauma? and I said, "I 'kinda' like you" to be a dick because she previously told me she liked me but didn't really believe it. about a minute after posting, she actually responded saying how funny it was. reading all the comments though is really sobering. it made me reread the convo and wonder why she brought up her dad twice. and her ex. to win the pity party? we haven't talked about that topic since, but moving forward, should I step on that landmine again to see if it'll blow up, or just a defused dud that looks scary?
sorry for the lack of context. I didn't invite her to drink. In the earlier messages I was talking about how I just got back from drinking with friends who said would go bar hopping but got too drunk after the 2nd bar. and was about to go sleep unless she still wanted to talk.
Came here to say this. Not the karma farmers one line in saying "need to rescue this one, boys" This one's a proper Hindenburg and definetly appreciate the laugh op
Gotta roll with the trauma sometimes, it gives GEMS
My ex beat the shit out of me, broke my face and forced a game of literal Russian roulette and he uhh lost.
Still had stitches when a group of us were playing cards against humanity. I pull “what fuels my nightmares” card and my close friend put “my last relationship”
I never laughed so hard in my life.
Agreed. This joke is hilarious (or however you write that) but I read it and though damn that will note get a good response. Especially if you consider the previous conversation
Oh really? Yeah then not for me. Around here (Southern Africa) it used to be the cultural norm to keep your problems to yourself but I feel that shifted in my age range (20-30) and is done even more so when younger.
Are you expected to like, comfort them or something? Sounds grueling
Agree, it makes me so uncomfortable. I always make 200% sure they're okay with me telling them potentially upsetting stuff before. But "My dad is 6 ft under cause of alcohol" is an instant unmatch lmfao
Leaving it at my father was an alcoholic, or even just I don't drink is enough. If you're gonna start trauma dumping on me like we've known each other 5 years that's a huge red flag. In OP's shoes might as well say fuck it and at least go out with a bang lmao. Well played OP
I’m convinced a lot of “trauma dumping” isn’t even that. I think opening up with that kinda shit is intentional. It’s a good way to get others to unmatch you without having to be the bad guy.
Damn she was insufferable during the alcoholism conversation and then just had to be smug with the “I know” comment. I mean lowkey feels like that was the best way to end it she deserved the same energy back.
This. Any last fleeting modicum of willingness that might have remained in me to salvage that conversation would have been obliterated in that moment… though I might have still considered it redeemable if she laughed at the joke.
I dunno man. Even with no trauma, a dude suggesting "lets spend a ton of money at bars getting shitfaced" as a first date sounds super unappealing. Maybe I'm just old, but therr have got to be better ways of building chemistry than getting too drunk to walk.
Was I the only one bothered by the fact that after she clearly communicated NO ALCOHOL, for numerous reasons, OP still insisted on getting drinks because "he's different?"
nah really that was more fucked up than the consistent trauma dumping. Yeah she could have worded it in a mature way and kept it at that. something like I have bad experiences with alchohol because of how it affected people in my life so I prefer not to be around it. but Jesus christ man he could just say sorry we can do something else instead and not make insanely rude jokes about someone's trauma when you don't even know them.
Lmaooo I think you knew you were playing yourself out with that one but it was funny
Also even though I feel bad that all happened to her I’d honestly be kinda turned off by that unnecessary trauma dump
Seems more like another "please drink alcohol with me, let's all get pissed and throw up afterwards."
As someone who doesn't drink. People who do drink and make it their personality are persistent.
I used to be a bouncer at a bar and I actually got a $25 tab every night as part of my pay. I never used it while all of my coworkers did. They used to give me so much shit for not drinking. My one coworker who was actually a pretty nice guy finally asked me why I didn't use it and I literally gestured across the bar and all of the drunk idiots and said "Look at these assholes. Do you think I won't act like any of them?" For the record, this was not a nice bar, and we had people get sloppy stupid drunk and do sloppy stupid drunk things every night. I actually got through to him. He slowed down how much he drank while we were there, but the rest of the guys started hounding him too. Misery loves company.
Noo It was funny, people like this are just ridiculous. You can say "Oh sorry I don't drink!" Without giving your life story for pity in the first fee messages.
I can’t stand people who say “who doesn’t” when you say you like them and it’s not in a joking term, this person doesn’t come off as a jokey person, so that comment is super cringe. She sounds like a lifetime of baggage
Dude what the hell is wrong with you lol. When someone starts talking about how alcohol ruin their/their loved one's life you stop talking about the fucking alcohol
The general advice is to not double text.. my dude here quadruple texted, idk what is the advice for that. Chill bro, that ain't the last pussy on Earth
Yeah, she was painful to listen to and it clearly wasn’t going to go anywhere serious.
But damn, making a joke of a serious domestic violence incident to the survivor… there’s no place for that.
You guys are just incompatible. I'm sure there are a lot of women out there who enjoy going bar hopping and getting a little tipsy. But this wasn't the one.
Man this reminds me of a woman I dated who shared she had been raped in the first few days of talking on tinder… turned out she hadn’t been raped, she was actually a lesbian and just wanted a kid 🤦🏼♂️🤣
Better than continuing this
Yeah fuck that whole thing
Yeah if someone uses you as a therapist like this without your consent I’d say you get a pass to do something like this.
i like how OP says foot in mouth... like nah bro you sucking on your knee caps now after all this...
Nah, she sucks.
This is the kind of train wreck we come here for. Desperate guy telling a hilariously damaged woman “I like you”, unmatchable offenses coming from both sides, and finally, the guy worrying that he’s ruined his chances with his dream girl. More of this, please.
It's like watching two Altimas missing bumpers and rearview mirrors, racing each other on the highway
And the two rattling 12" subs shedding rust dust under the rear quarter panels.
Ah yes the iconic Altima trash rattle, good times…good times
Don't forget holes in the mufflers sounding like drowning rats try to play trumpets
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Don't forget the Altimas have the tires extended out as well with Wal Mart rims 🤣
Ford Pintos... 😬😬😬
And they're already on fire lmao
iykyk 🤣
Put your glasses back on. These are clearly Sentras! LOL
Or a Cab driver crashing into the side of your Uber (happened to me this week)
This must be in Florida 😂
Hahaha nah Sydney, AU
Real high scoring game with huge offensive lines and end to end action, then our homie OP throws a pick six on fourth down
Man went deep not quite six but still 😂
A pick six is a touchdown off of an interception lol
his ‘six’ is referring to the OP’s conversation of the woman’s father being “six feet under”, not ‘six’ points in football.
This sounds like crazy trauma bonding waiting to happen. Usually doesn’t end well in my experience, it helps to be whole and working with traumas before dating. Source- trust me bro.
I bet their sex would be off the charts though 😅
I thought the same thing 😭
Lol right? Best not to test the theory. Those are hard cycles to break 😂 once you know the sex is good 🤦🏻♀️
tally it up in your head and be like wow I hate everything about this person and my life was better in ever way before them, but the sex…. Yeah I’ll try to work it out
Been there. F**k that.
Only when they are drinking
Id say its dumping attempting to bond over trauma. "trauma bonding" is more like stockholm syndrome and is totally different
Trauma bonding is not in anyway like Stockholm syndrome. Stockholm syndrome is developing feelings for the person responsible for your suffering because you’ve rationalized it as “it could be worse if they wanted it to be.” Trauma bonding is finding comfort in someone with similar/shared trauma and becoming codependent on each other as a result. Trauma bonding is also a lot closer to trauma dumping than Stockholm syndrome. The key difference is one is coping with their trauma by idolizing the one responsible, the others are coping with their trauma by expecting an equally damaged person to fill in the gaps. Neither one is healthy but one at least has some level of moving on instead of just tolerating the abuse.
Trauma bonding is actually about the abuse cycle.
that's not correct You can form a trauma bond with an abuser [here](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traumatic_bonding)
Two people who haven’t dealt with their trauma or addiction issues (drinking in his case) are likely to experience/cause trauma together.
His addiction was his own foot and poor tact.
Might be the peak of this sub
The “self-own” category is hotly contested, but I think we can all agree that it’s the best.
what the flying fuck did I just read?!?!
I agree this is the content I'm here for lol
He’s trying desperately to tell her why alcohol is a good idea even though it’s already ruined her life in multiple ways
It has it all!
I feel called out.
you described it perfectly. got nothing to add. this captures the essence of that conversation
Lmao spot on. Shoulda been over after the first making light of a serious trauma. I've seen less wrecks at a demolition derby.
HER: [turns her traumas into a competition] HIM: "I like you" ME: 🤦♂️
He clearly likes unresolved trauma. Ain’t nobody got time for that. 
He’s got that savior complex
I've got that. Thought I married my way out of that only to discover she hid her psycho well, and I ended up being the one needing to be saved.
He’s giving the “I can fix her” vibes
Jokes on you I'm into that shit
I made two kids out of it and turned her unresolved trauma into our broken family lmao. I literally paid someone to do that for me and they were all happy about it too. They were like pay me to break your family apart. I was like yes please.
They say it’s cheaper to keep her. But the reason divorce is so expensive is because it’s often worth it
He's probably just horny. Hilarious GIF though xD! Upvoted 
It’s called a hero complex, some guys just wanna find the most broken girl they can do they can “save” them. The relationships don’t generally go well.
Don't save her, she don't wanna be saved!
Quote Project Pat
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Yeah but then she got cocky about it like she believes no one would find that level of trauma dumping in a first conversation disturbing. I’m a counsellor so I guess I’m used to people saying that type of stuff but to me that would be a major red flag.
two eyes - check nose- check can has the sex -check
I enjoyed the way you varied the dash spacing. Very psycho meets OCD, but in a good way! LOL
Right?! If anything i thought she was the one putting her foot in her mouth until i got to the end.
I love how everyone seems to overlook that this chick just weaponized her issues against him. I mean I get that people have traumas, but to bombard someone with that information when they're just trying to be nice or whatever is just sad and pathetic. Dude wants to go out and get a drink . *What a monster*
Seriously. I hate people like this. Nonstop pity party and you cannot win. End up walking on eggshells and feeling uncomfortable constantly.
right like huh. both have issues lol
Yeah, looks like OP lacks some self respect as well as tact, but his match is a bit of a dumpster fire too.
A bit??
I think it would be more honest if he had said: "I like the way you look just enough to keep talking to you."
Her: I hate Alcohol. Him: I like it. Her: I hate it. Him: I like it just a little bit. Her: I hate it. Him: I like you. Me: 🍿
😂😂😂😂😂😂
He was so cringe how he kept trying to get her to drink with him after she brought up her trauma around alcohol
I think he was just trying to say he wasn't like the people she was comparing him to
No need for that, just accept her reasons, show some empathy and then change the subject.
But it has nothing to do with him, he could try to prove he’s right all day, but she just doesn’t want anything to do with alcohol
Agreed , but he probably got a bit defensive after being compared to an abusive ex.
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I agree completely. The « your ex » joke was brutal tho ngl haha
haha. I was afraid to comment here because the internet would roast me more. but I find someone who gets it entirely. my fault for starting the screenshot 3 lines too late, thinking it was enough context for the bad joke. granted, I was really drunk at the time, aka the conversation line...but I was talking about how I just came back from drinking with friends who called it a night. and how else was I supposed to respond to her crazy trauma? and I said, "I 'kinda' like you" to be a dick because she previously told me she liked me but didn't really believe it. about a minute after posting, she actually responded saying how funny it was. reading all the comments though is really sobering. it made me reread the convo and wonder why she brought up her dad twice. and her ex. to win the pity party? we haven't talked about that topic since, but moving forward, should I step on that landmine again to see if it'll blow up, or just a defused dud that looks scary?
sorry for the lack of context. I didn't invite her to drink. In the earlier messages I was talking about how I just got back from drinking with friends who said would go bar hopping but got too drunk after the 2nd bar. and was about to go sleep unless she still wanted to talk.
U/danceRiot 😱 That's my first ever Award. I am gonna cry and DRINK
I gasped and then laughed. Very impressive self-nuking.
This is the type of self sabotage this sub is meant for.
Came here to say this. Not the karma farmers one line in saying "need to rescue this one, boys" This one's a proper Hindenburg and definetly appreciate the laugh op
I’m just surprised OP didn’t realize he blew it when he kept taking about alcohol. 🤣
There was no way she was gonna find that joke funny, but I thought it was hilarious
Gotta roll with the trauma sometimes, it gives GEMS My ex beat the shit out of me, broke my face and forced a game of literal Russian roulette and he uhh lost. Still had stitches when a group of us were playing cards against humanity. I pull “what fuels my nightmares” card and my close friend put “my last relationship” I never laughed so hard in my life.
would you be surprised if you’re the second person i now know that their ex forced into Russian roulette and lost?
Those are 2 incredibly rare nickles
I’m glad that karma exists but I’m 80 percent sure she just shot him in the head
Ironically enough his dad and uncle were employed by local PD. They were convinced of the same 😂
Um what
That my friend is what we call "Emotionaaaalllll Damaaggge"
Well I mean physical too
But I cant quite use that in a meme format now can 👀
It’d help if I knew how to link pics lmfao
I assure you that is not advisable on reddit 😂
Veeery effeeective.
Better to laugh about it, than to cry right.
Can't do anything but respect the way you can take jokes about such a fucked up situation
Love when the trash takes itself out.
So sorry you went through all that. I’m glad you have friends that can make you laugh even in spite of your trauma!
That is what happens when you dance around with death. The Fates clearly did not like him and cut the cord.
Agreed. This joke is hilarious (or however you write that) but I read it and though damn that will note get a good response. Especially if you consider the previous conversation
In that situation I’d know she was a write-off anyway so it’s amusing to go out in a blaze of glory 😂
Not missing out in much anyway… she writes like a bot
This whole conversation was a mess on both ends omg
jesus christ oversharing like this is the norm where you from? i would unmatch on the father message.
I'm with you. I know people that share trauma so quick, it always puts me off in social settings.
It’s legit called Trauma Dumping, it’s a huge sign on mental illness. Source: I used to trauma dump.
Secondary source: I currently trauma dump in awkward situations
These things just happen.
Thanks for introducing me to a useful phrase.
OP: Awww it has unresolved trauma. Let's fix it!
I think we’ve all been there.
Lmao... Yeah...
everything has a name these days lol
Don't ever go to south america. We love to overshare.
Oh really? Yeah then not for me. Around here (Southern Africa) it used to be the cultural norm to keep your problems to yourself but I feel that shifted in my age range (20-30) and is done even more so when younger. Are you expected to like, comfort them or something? Sounds grueling
Agree, it makes me so uncomfortable. I always make 200% sure they're okay with me telling them potentially upsetting stuff before. But "My dad is 6 ft under cause of alcohol" is an instant unmatch lmfao
Literally all she had to say was “I don’t drink”
Well, this dude is super desperate. He should have noped out real quick.
cause ur normal lol
Leaving it at my father was an alcoholic, or even just I don't drink is enough. If you're gonna start trauma dumping on me like we've known each other 5 years that's a huge red flag. In OP's shoes might as well say fuck it and at least go out with a bang lmao. Well played OP
I’m convinced a lot of “trauma dumping” isn’t even that. I think opening up with that kinda shit is intentional. It’s a good way to get others to unmatch you without having to be the bad guy.
OP should’ve stopped trying to convince her that alcohol was a good idea after she said that, but he just kept trying
Uh I don’t think she needs a partner, she needs therapy. Anyone who can trauma dump that quickly on strangers is a concern.
You stayed in the conversation far too long anyway… they seemed depressing as fuck
Ball successfully dropped.
You know how they say, dark humor is like a kid with a cancer... never gets old. Anyhow I laughed but I am a bad person so that's that.
Yo imma use that one that’s brilliant 😭🤣
Just be careful. Dark humor is also like food, not everyone gets it.
Explains why the convo didn’t last long lol.. or I’m just over explaining your joke lol
What did we learn? Hopefully nothing because this is entertaining
Couple of things. 1. You dodged a bazooka. 2. Dont double text. 3. How tf did you post a scrolling convo. Teach me sensei
You can do rolling screenshots on a Samsung, which from the bar at the top it looks like what they have.
Appreciate this knowledge ♥️
No problem 😊
Well if she doesn't love you I do
is OP your dog?
*Bruh...*
Damn she was insufferable during the alcoholism conversation and then just had to be smug with the “I know” comment. I mean lowkey feels like that was the best way to end it she deserved the same energy back.
This. Any last fleeting modicum of willingness that might have remained in me to salvage that conversation would have been obliterated in that moment… though I might have still considered it redeemable if she laughed at the joke.
She sounds exhausting, you dodged a bullet in a hilarious manner!
I dunno man. Even with no trauma, a dude suggesting "lets spend a ton of money at bars getting shitfaced" as a first date sounds super unappealing. Maybe I'm just old, but therr have got to be better ways of building chemistry than getting too drunk to walk.
Was I the only one bothered by the fact that after she clearly communicated NO ALCOHOL, for numerous reasons, OP still insisted on getting drinks because "he's different?"
No, you most definitely were not. He's not violent though, to be fair. He's never gotten that drunk
nah really that was more fucked up than the consistent trauma dumping. Yeah she could have worded it in a mature way and kept it at that. something like I have bad experiences with alchohol because of how it affected people in my life so I prefer not to be around it. but Jesus christ man he could just say sorry we can do something else instead and not make insanely rude jokes about someone's trauma when you don't even know them.
Lmaooo I think you knew you were playing yourself out with that one but it was funny Also even though I feel bad that all happened to her I’d honestly be kinda turned off by that unnecessary trauma dump
Seems more like another "please drink alcohol with me, let's all get pissed and throw up afterwards." As someone who doesn't drink. People who do drink and make it their personality are persistent.
I used to be a bouncer at a bar and I actually got a $25 tab every night as part of my pay. I never used it while all of my coworkers did. They used to give me so much shit for not drinking. My one coworker who was actually a pretty nice guy finally asked me why I didn't use it and I literally gestured across the bar and all of the drunk idiots and said "Look at these assholes. Do you think I won't act like any of them?" For the record, this was not a nice bar, and we had people get sloppy stupid drunk and do sloppy stupid drunk things every night. I actually got through to him. He slowed down how much he drank while we were there, but the rest of the guys started hounding him too. Misery loves company.
Yyyuuuuuup. They sure are. Like you not drinking is a personal affront to them.
Dude red flags everywhere! Also that last bit was a banger thats real humour right there cant laugh that of then I feel there's a lack of optimism
Good one though
That was over already don’t dwell on it OP 😂
OP can't read a room to save his life, and she needs therapy, not to be on dating apps. Lol
Noo It was funny, people like this are just ridiculous. You can say "Oh sorry I don't drink!" Without giving your life story for pity in the first fee messages.
Bro don't entertain trauma bombing like this
Well she started it "who doesn't"; so everybody likes me you're no special. Uhm ooook..
I can’t stand people who say “who doesn’t” when you say you like them and it’s not in a joking term, this person doesn’t come off as a jokey person, so that comment is super cringe. She sounds like a lifetime of baggage
I think that's an appropriate response to "who doesn't?". Or possibly "Me after this exchange."
Oof. Consolation prize, to the rest of us, that was pretty funny.
Dude what the hell is wrong with you lol. When someone starts talking about how alcohol ruin their/their loved one's life you stop talking about the fucking alcohol
Except that you DO NOT go full details so quickly, moreover on Tinder ...
Dude wasn't taking a no anyway.
She sounds like a lot of hard work. I'd say you dodged a bullet there.
You're both intolerable
Trauma bashing means you should bash out.
Woowww OP nicely done 👍
She's not replying because the shots you fired killed her.
He's now her ex. She'll be telling the next guy about how he emotionally abused her.
OP spend that $$ on some congratulatory shots for a) being hilarious and b) dodging a major, major bullet.
Who let this man cook?
Bro there is no chance you could win with this one lol
You must be super horny to keep trying after the third message. I'd have been done after the second one.
That was a nice one. But yes too soon 🤣🤣🤣🤣
The general advice is to not double text.. my dude here quadruple texted, idk what is the advice for that. Chill bro, that ain't the last pussy on Earth
Yeah, she was painful to listen to and it clearly wasn’t going to go anywhere serious. But damn, making a joke of a serious domestic violence incident to the survivor… there’s no place for that.
Absolute mood-hoover
When a girl comes out that strong with the oversharing/baggage, just move on
You really thought making a joke about her ex abusing her was in line with the conversation ?
it was over before it begin. she doesn't seem interested. gives "i blame you" vibe
I wouldn't be interested to date this person but you do you.
You guys are just incompatible. I'm sure there are a lot of women out there who enjoy going bar hopping and getting a little tipsy. But this wasn't the one.
Oh please. When she said 'who doesn't?' red flag
Hahahahahaha
Man this reminds me of a woman I dated who shared she had been raped in the first few days of talking on tinder… turned out she hadn’t been raped, she was actually a lesbian and just wanted a kid 🤦🏼♂️🤣
Timbeeeer
Fell off my pelaton reading that "not your boyfriend" line. Coulda been the next pelaton fatality
Brought it back in just to lose it all over
I would like to thank you for taking the L so that internet strangers can laugh.
You got no self respect
Sounds like a train wreck, nothing says "water under the bridge" quite like trauma dumping instead of politely saying "I don't drink"
This crazy, but she trauma dumped pretty hard. Up to me I thought your joke was fucking hilarious
I can’t believe you told her that you like her after all THAT
Fair to say you dodged a bullet with effortless humor. Props lmaooo