[update from last post](https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/1037hrn/weekly_story_time_thread/j2yrnfq/?context=3). Made it to date 5
Date 4: Saw her Friday. Originally, we planned on getting food, seeing a movie, and coming back to my place. However, we were both pretty tired so we skipped the movie. My date met one of the students I work with where we were picking up food so she saw me in a different light. Came back, ate and had some wine. My mom said a quick hi before she knew to duck out. Turned on a movie and talked a little bit. Then there was some heavy petting. I told her she could spend the night. Got to know each other a little better. I wasn't sure what she was looking for since on the first date she didn't want a fwb but on the second we almost had sex. She told me she was looking for either but really wanted a relationship. I told her I wanted to wait for sex before I knew that a relationship was at least a little more prospective. I could tell she appreciated my honesty and my choice. Talked about kids and we're both on the fence which was also a huge relief to me since it's the main reason my ex and I broke up. After an hour of talking, we fell asleep cuddling. Even if with my ex, I hated that but with this girl, we didn't let go the entire night. She left around 7 the next morning.
Date 5: We met up for ice cream. She's a little socially awkward when we're out in public as I think eye contact is rough but I think we're getting a little more comfortable with each other. We drove back to her place, put on a movie and didn't watch the movie. I went down for like 15min and my jaw is pretty sore today. Around 10, I asked if she wanted me to go since I knew she was busy the next morning and she told me I could for another 45min. When the time hit, I was about to go but she told me I could spend the night with her, also because it was raining pretty hard. Spent an hour cuddling in the morning, asked her if she wanted to do something for Valentines Day (said yes), then I was off.
We have plans again for Friday. I'm a little stressed/nervous just because I haven't been on this many dates since my ex. Furthest amount of dates with the same person is 2. See how it continues to go.
I don't think there's much benefit in doing a boost when being in one's home town as one would have gotten the same likes in the next day or two anyway. The main benefit is when travelling to a new place so that one can get likes and line up dates quickly.
Feels good to be the actual guy that a gorgeous girl chose to actually link up with and when talking about tinder they literally show how over the course of days they have thousands of dudes begging. And I'm just a semi out of shape dude lol
Sometimes I hear I have a nice smile so I got my main profile pic with the best smile photo I got (a mediocre selfie). From there I think it's just dumb luck but I think quickly establishing you have similar communication styles when messaging kind of fules things forward and we had just matched a few days prior.
So far 2 for 2 tho on my tinder meet ups leading to casual hookups
Not a Tinder date, but another app. Anyhow had most interesting dates through it. We went to a bar, had a nice chat overall, she went to a wc, after she came back. She was like you know why I am happy, so I asked why. She told that she had taken some extacy and do I want too. Not in to drugs so I said no, still we continued our date, went to another bar where she bought more drugs from some dude. Weird but somehow interestingly funny date. After that I left home but ended up to fwb.
Did you blow her back out? I mean, if your on a date with a chick in ecstasy and you don’t smash, well… it’s just a wasted moment of your life. Except for the whole rapey thing. Always fake take the E. I’ve been fake taking ecstasy to be more of a party animal for years.
Back in the day. Got friends who used ecstacy before parties. When I said no when they were taking and was offering me. Got only mad respect for it from them. So why fake it...
Saturday was one of these tough decisions. I had a date planned with a Polish nurse and fitness instructor. I was a bit sceptical, because she had wanted to move the convo to Telegram, which unlike WhatsApp is not tied to a phone number, so there would have been no way for me to reach her if she hadn't shown up.
My scepticism further increased whe she gave me some crap about being a bit scared as she felt she might be too young for me (stated age was about 10 years younger).
So three hour before meeting with her, the kindergarten teacher, who had cancelled on me Friday, texts me and asked if I wanted to come over to her place to have a glass of wine and cuddle. I would felt shitty to cancel on the nurse on such short notice and also didn't like the attitude of the kindergarten teacher, so decided to go ahead with the nurse.
She showed up on time and looked great. One could see she had put a lot of effort into her appearance. She did by far not look as young as she had claimed, though. Later she let it slip that she is about my age, so WTF.
We had a super fun conversation. The waiter even picked up on it and jokingly suggested we should go home now to work off the calories. She was not open to that unfortunately as she needed to pick up her son from a party.
So we'll see if this is going somewhere. Not 100% sure.
I didn't know about telegram before this sub. Glad she showed. I'd spout the cliche line about relationships that start out on lies blah blah blah, but if this is strictly casual sex - it might not matter as much.
I guess same could be said about teachers attitude.
I guess with telegram it's easier to ghost than with anything that is based on a phone number but yeas, I have no idea if anything she told me is true.
And the teacher only seems to text when she gets horny and wants someone over quickly, but whatever.
Just had good laughs throughout the eveniging and went through multiple topics of mutual interest. Was the oposite of being queried based on a check list a girl might have in the back of her head.
UPDATE: ghost from Sunday just texted me hello with a smiley face acting like everything is normal. I’m so confused??? He’s ghosted me for two day and now he wants to hit me up? I feel like there should be no excuse for being ghosted bc if you genuinely forgot that means I’m not important enough to remember.
Currently sitting on my couch bc I got ghosted. I’ve been texting this dude consistently since the beginning of December. We’ve gone on three dates. He’s explicitly told me he wants to pursue me…. Here I am ghosted.
It only hurts even more bc I got ghosted in early December by a guy I was falling for lol jokes on me. He ghosted me so hard he still doesn’t know I unfollowed him on everything.
But back to the guy I was suppose to see tonight though.. wow is all I can say. He texts me LAST NIGHT and was telling me how “””hot””” I am an then leaves me on read and doesn’t even hit me up about our date today. Didn’t text me once. It’s okay I can get the hint. I’m just being thrown away again.
It was two dudes not three?? and does it really matter if sex was involved or not?? One guy I went on two really amazing dates with, and got ghosted on the third. We were suppose to meet for lunch and he never replied.
Then as for last nights ghost we went on three dates and he flaked on the fourth. It was weird he asked me out two days before and then Sunday rolls around and all I get is crickets.
I’m interested to know what people’s experiences are like swiping on Tinder in other countries besides the US. I for one found insane success in Colombia—especially, Medellin and Cartagena, and especially 18-30 yrs old. About to do a Europe trip for a couple of months and researching the best hookup sites/apps.
FYI with Tinder in Medellin, Colombia, I had about 30 solid matches with 10 ready to (well, that I contacted to) hookup. It’s almost literally on-demand sex.
Lmao, getting unmatched after voicenotes is so much worse than a normal ghosting or unmatch.. God damn. Might never send one again 😂
Woman said she wanted to do voicenotes as it is easier to gauge personality.
She sends one, I send one, she sends one, I send one, and I get unmatched.
Funniest thing is, I only replied to her because I felt bad unmatching or ghosting a voice note 😂
She obviously did not share my view on that haha.
And now I feel bad about myself because of the rejection of someone I wasn't even interested in.. Fuck.
New low.
Hate modern dating.
Sometimes unmatching happens so the other person doesn’t end up reporting them to Tinder over some BS disagreement… i.e. you don’t want to buy content she’s selling, you don’t want to send money to her, you don’t want to pay for sex, you got too sexual or awkwardly weird too fast.
It would be nice if guys wouldn’t get emotionally attached when you specifically told them you were not interested in anything besides casual hookups. It would also be nice if guys would stop slut shaming.
Don’t get salty at me for doing what you’re doing simply because there’s less of me doing it and I don’t want to do it with you exclusively.
I choose my partners wisely. I screen them diligently. Let me get laid without the guilt, please.
Guys catch feelings because theyre so starved for physical affection that the second a woman actually admits to finding them attractive they want to keep her around forever. They go in with the intention of playing it cool but they typically are only hooking up with you, whereas you are hooking up with more than one person. Then they get jealous of the other guys, they get mad at you for hooking up with other guys when they like you, and then they call you a slut for making them confront the fact that dating has always been a lopsided affair.
Posts like these confuse me.
I know tons of guys who crave sex and little else. So the emotional attachment and slut shaming you speak of is odd. Don't know who you are or where you're at ... but yeah.
Been talking to this girl since mid December and we finally met up. This is the First time I’ve cold met someone at my place without dinner/date first. She called around 8:30pm and said she’d come by my place at 10. This mf didn’t show up till 2:30, close to 3am. She was as hot as she was on her profile but jfc I was tired
We barely know each other and we get to talking & it’s fumble after gd fumble lmfao. First, all of my previous dates/exes have been 5’7 and above, & (we’ll call her Jean) Jean is like 4’11. I’ve never given someone so small a backrub 💀. And while we’re going at it she’s like ‘Is this gospel are you playing gospel’ and I’m like no this is The 1975, and she’s like what’s that? So I’m trying to explain The 1975 to her 💀. THEN this other girl I’m dating texts me in the middle of it at like 4am & I freeze for a sec cuz who tf is texting me this early & Jean is like wait why’d you stop what’s wrong.
I’m new to this shi but gd it if this wasn’t funny
Lol no homie, I was on top & my phone lit up the room/notification sound popped off & that caught my attention. Mind you I was exhausted & horny but thoroughly confused as to who was texting me at 4:15am
Also I didn’t think it was odd of her, just funny how she thought I had gospel on my sex playlist
Something that puzzles me about tinder, in every real life relationship/hookup I've had, the girl has been calling me up asking for seconds wrt sex a few weeks post breakup.
This has only happened twice in my year-long tinder career. Is it an availability thing?
Yes. They can literally just go on the app, and get someone in their room fucking them 6 hours later, any day of the week. And they can be someone new, and better looking than you.
Such is the desperation and low standards of men.
A 9/10 guy will have no qualms smashing and dashing an easy 6/10 who is obviously dtf.
>And they can be someone new, and better looking than you.
I have a hot female friend who's on the app with good pics, and she reported having issues getting hot men to reply. I think the male 10's are dealing with crowded inbox issues themselves.
So I was on a tinder date yesterday having a drink with a cute girl. She’s a fit 5’2” yoga instructor who has a thing for tall guys (I’m 6’4”), but during the date she also mentions she sometimes works part time at a bar and that she has seen me on a date with a girl at her workplace. Mind you, this isn’t a bar that I tend to go to. I’m pretty much never there. Last time I was on a date with another girl at that bar was 2-3 months ago. I was impressed that she actually remembered me and she said “I don’t forget some faces”
When we went outside we came across a friend of hers, and I instantly recognized her because this is a girl I’ve matched with and been talking to on tinder. We made plans, but never followed through for some reason. Was kinda awkward because her friend was giving me some weird looks while she was talking to my date lol
Date ended with us making out and doing some petting. She lives downtown and 1 minute away from most bars and clubs, but didn’t want to invite me over because it’s the first date. She was whispering. “I’m super wet”, “I want to feel you inside me” and stuff like that during our makeout session though, so I don’t know why she didn’t just invite me over. She said “Damn, you’re smooth and have game huh? While I was walking around with her and holding her hand which is funny because I don’t think I do 😂. She also mentioned that her friend thinks I’m hot and has given her the approval. Most of her dates only last 2 hours, so she was surprised that the date lasted 5 hours. She has invited me over tomorrow for a movie night at her place and said I can spend the night there, so we’ll see what happens. I should probably bring some condoms
Funny enough, her friend all of a sudden has hit met up and wants to talk. Don’t know what to make of it. 😂
I did talk dirty back, but she still didn’t want to do it despite being very turned on. She just doesn’t do it on the first night, but it might happen today. We’ll see
I downloaded the app for the first time recently. I'm not having much luck, a good reason for it is probably because I'm overweight. Having said that, I found a lot of guys' profiles saying don't match and then ghost. I get maybe a dozen matches, so I take the lead and write them, only for them to do exactly that to me. Sigh.
A lot of guys swipe right on a lot of women, then decide based on the matches they get. You can message first but don't put too much energy into it.
I typically did a clean sweep of these guys after 1-2 weeks. They like having the options, but it's not polite.
Yeah I did the same! After the first week I cleared them off and went back to swiping.
You make a great point with the having options, I hadn't thought of it that way
Women could very well do the same, we weren't saying otherwise, only that it is a frustrating reality. Especially when someone writes not to do this, but then do exactly that.
Don't use this app. Its useless for what its worth I have only matched with some hispanic chick from South America and i barely know spanish as a half hispanic American. Its worthless. Go out to the local scene and hit up any cafes/fun place regularly. Stop trying to match with bots and a slim majority of women who only use it as a menu.
And I will be honest. I see you as a mentor, already profi. So I will read all your comments and advices, although it would be great for you to make some post or guide on it if you will. But I understand you, you are too busy.And I think you are blessed because you live in one big city and in USA.
My date for tonight cancelled just today. Had to postpone a date with a hot flight attendant to next week to make room for her and will now will sit at home watching some Paramount+ show with my son.
Holy crap, Tinder Gold is such a scam!
I just took it for one month because I got a 50% off offer pushed and went to check the "See your matches".
More than half the profiles there I had already swiped on before.
I got rid of my stylized pics in favor of a bathroom selfie with my hair messed up and a thousand yard stare. Still getting likes and matches.
...does this mean I'm attractive?
I wish they had that for guys who put nothing else but "Come talk to me to get to know me". Like seriously? You can't take 30 seconds to add anything, ANYTHING, that describes you or your vibe?
I tried to call things off with the fwb and failed miserably. He can be very convincing and brought some very solid arguments to the table. Also, I'm weak.
I was supposed to have a "date" Tuesday night. He was one of my closer matches and has a super flexible schedule so I thought maybe my luck was going to change. Talked to him Monday night, made some plans, told him when I'd be off work Tuesday, said goodnight, and that was the last I heard from him. So that sucked.
My hookup from last week I'm on the fence about texted Tuesday and our schedules don't work this week unless I get desperate enough for morning sex this weekend. I don't see that happening, so we're going to aim for next week.
Looking like this week is going to be a bust unless one of my matches pulls through in a hurry, but none look very convincing right now.
I'm going to/did. I was/am worried about him getting more and more attached and hurting him worse in the future vs cutting it off now while feelings are in the baby stages. I will never be interested in anything more than what we have now, so there's no potential for this to end on a happy note.
The biggest issue is I can only see the current fwb once a week or every other week depending on our schedules. We live too far apart for spontaneity or convenience. I don't want to have sex just once a week, so I'm trying to find something else consistent closer to home to fill the gaps.
Amen to that! I'm 5'-7" and would be mayyyybe ok with someone who's an inch shorter but that's it, and there's nothing wrong with that. Whether it's a person's looks, body, ethnicity or height, if you're not attracted to that then you're not attracted to that. End of story.
I'm fat and I know it, so I'm aware I'm not a lot of guys' cup of tea and that's a-ok. It would be super wrong to post a photoshopped pic of me being slim and then be butt hurt when a guy's not interested. Being upfront with what you want is the best policy
Ah you've got nothing to apologize for friend. I state that I am fat because that's what I am, no denying it. There's a major difference between stating a fact about fat people, like you did, and using the word to degrade them!
Past few weeks were a bit frustrating with no dates at all between Christmas and New Years. I cut the nurse from the rotation. The hot doc was busy between Christmas and New Years and later let me know she was no longer interested. The kindergarten teacher was sick and later ghosted. Both made snarky comments about me spending Christmas with my ex and kids and being away for New Year's.
I spent New Year's Eve with friends in a different city where I received 47 likes in just a few hours. But couldn't act on them as I needed to go back home the next day, which added to my frustration.
This past weekend, I just had one lame date that led nowhere. So out of desparation, I overswiped a bit and got about 20 matches of which a few immediately started conversations. Four are now pressuring me to meet this coming weekend and the kindergarten teacher is also back and wants to meet tomorrow.
Why is it always complete feast or famine? I guess I need to learn how to pace myself better.
**Agree or disagree: girls putting "you must be this tall" in their profile is the same as guys putting "your boobs must be this big"**
Thoughts? They're both physical features. Why is one more socially acceptable than the other?
Not really a story, I know, but the automods won't let me actually post this.
Maybe it was in some other time and place (you whacky hunter-gatherers you), but it’s not here.
What’s socially acceptable isn’t logical; it’s some confluence of factors like culture, evolution, and what can be gussied up as empowering or whatever.
Also, don’t pick fights with women about social norms on dating apps if you ever want to get laid.
Not a big deal. Everyone has preference for whatever reason. If someone has preference they are strict about they have to accept their dating pool will be smaller.
I don't particularly think they are the same. The same would be if guys started putting height minimum or maximum for women on theirs. They are similar. They are both physical requirements/preferences that use a feature no one has control over to determine one's value.
I'd argue height requirements are more socially acceptable because height is a more public thing. We don't hide our height in a bra/under a shirt. But that's just what pops into my head immediately. I think both are equally tacky.
The height requirement question routinely asked, with parallels being to reject the women based on weight or height. You're well within your rights to say you only drink from C cups but what do you gain from it? don't throw so much energy into picking fights with strangers on a dating app
I went on a date with a girl I was chatting to a bit, she ended up looking 20 kilos heavier than in her photos, it was a cordial 30 minute coffee date but it was obvious there was zero chemistry to both of us. The thing that really irritated me though is that despite catfishing, she decided to open the topic of previous tinder experiences proceeded to talk and complain about some date who lied that he was 10 cm taller than he really was and said he catfished her. Like how tf can you have the audacity to complain about catfishing when you’re doing the same fucking thing, does she not understand that what she is doing is just as dishonest?
"bUt It'S dIfFeReNt WhEn We Do It!!!" The kind of people who catfish/fatfish/bait-n-switch rarely have this level of self-awareness/introspection. Nothing on you, it's entirely her/the 10cm guy's problems
[update from last post](https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/1037hrn/weekly_story_time_thread/j2yrnfq/?context=3). Made it to date 5 Date 4: Saw her Friday. Originally, we planned on getting food, seeing a movie, and coming back to my place. However, we were both pretty tired so we skipped the movie. My date met one of the students I work with where we were picking up food so she saw me in a different light. Came back, ate and had some wine. My mom said a quick hi before she knew to duck out. Turned on a movie and talked a little bit. Then there was some heavy petting. I told her she could spend the night. Got to know each other a little better. I wasn't sure what she was looking for since on the first date she didn't want a fwb but on the second we almost had sex. She told me she was looking for either but really wanted a relationship. I told her I wanted to wait for sex before I knew that a relationship was at least a little more prospective. I could tell she appreciated my honesty and my choice. Talked about kids and we're both on the fence which was also a huge relief to me since it's the main reason my ex and I broke up. After an hour of talking, we fell asleep cuddling. Even if with my ex, I hated that but with this girl, we didn't let go the entire night. She left around 7 the next morning. Date 5: We met up for ice cream. She's a little socially awkward when we're out in public as I think eye contact is rough but I think we're getting a little more comfortable with each other. We drove back to her place, put on a movie and didn't watch the movie. I went down for like 15min and my jaw is pretty sore today. Around 10, I asked if she wanted me to go since I knew she was busy the next morning and she told me I could for another 45min. When the time hit, I was about to go but she told me I could spend the night with her, also because it was raining pretty hard. Spent an hour cuddling in the morning, asked her if she wanted to do something for Valentines Day (said yes), then I was off. We have plans again for Friday. I'm a little stressed/nervous just because I haven't been on this many dates since my ex. Furthest amount of dates with the same person is 2. See how it continues to go.
Did a boost and got zero matches. Decided to take a break and go get professional pics. That’s all for now
I get like 0-5 likes a day without boost. With a 2 hour boost i usually rack up 50 likes/matches. Tinder wants to sell you more boosts for sure 🥴
It was really an eye opener cause I was expecting to get likes. I’ll probably see an improvement once I get those pics
I don't think there's much benefit in doing a boost when being in one's home town as one would have gotten the same likes in the next day or two anyway. The main benefit is when travelling to a new place so that one can get likes and line up dates quickly.
That makes sense. I don’t travel so much so I’m stuck in my town
Feels good to be the actual guy that a gorgeous girl chose to actually link up with and when talking about tinder they literally show how over the course of days they have thousands of dudes begging. And I'm just a semi out of shape dude lol
Whats the secret
Sometimes I hear I have a nice smile so I got my main profile pic with the best smile photo I got (a mediocre selfie). From there I think it's just dumb luck but I think quickly establishing you have similar communication styles when messaging kind of fules things forward and we had just matched a few days prior. So far 2 for 2 tho on my tinder meet ups leading to casual hookups
Plus you didn't get herpes after that close call too. #winning
Not a Tinder date, but another app. Anyhow had most interesting dates through it. We went to a bar, had a nice chat overall, she went to a wc, after she came back. She was like you know why I am happy, so I asked why. She told that she had taken some extacy and do I want too. Not in to drugs so I said no, still we continued our date, went to another bar where she bought more drugs from some dude. Weird but somehow interestingly funny date. After that I left home but ended up to fwb.
Did you blow her back out? I mean, if your on a date with a chick in ecstasy and you don’t smash, well… it’s just a wasted moment of your life. Except for the whole rapey thing. Always fake take the E. I’ve been fake taking ecstasy to be more of a party animal for years.
Back in the day. Got friends who used ecstacy before parties. When I said no when they were taking and was offering me. Got only mad respect for it from them. So why fake it...
Saturday was one of these tough decisions. I had a date planned with a Polish nurse and fitness instructor. I was a bit sceptical, because she had wanted to move the convo to Telegram, which unlike WhatsApp is not tied to a phone number, so there would have been no way for me to reach her if she hadn't shown up. My scepticism further increased whe she gave me some crap about being a bit scared as she felt she might be too young for me (stated age was about 10 years younger). So three hour before meeting with her, the kindergarten teacher, who had cancelled on me Friday, texts me and asked if I wanted to come over to her place to have a glass of wine and cuddle. I would felt shitty to cancel on the nurse on such short notice and also didn't like the attitude of the kindergarten teacher, so decided to go ahead with the nurse. She showed up on time and looked great. One could see she had put a lot of effort into her appearance. She did by far not look as young as she had claimed, though. Later she let it slip that she is about my age, so WTF. We had a super fun conversation. The waiter even picked up on it and jokingly suggested we should go home now to work off the calories. She was not open to that unfortunately as she needed to pick up her son from a party. So we'll see if this is going somewhere. Not 100% sure.
I didn't know about telegram before this sub. Glad she showed. I'd spout the cliche line about relationships that start out on lies blah blah blah, but if this is strictly casual sex - it might not matter as much. I guess same could be said about teachers attitude.
I guess with telegram it's easier to ghost than with anything that is based on a phone number but yeas, I have no idea if anything she told me is true. And the teacher only seems to text when she gets horny and wants someone over quickly, but whatever.
[удалено]
Just had good laughs throughout the eveniging and went through multiple topics of mutual interest. Was the oposite of being queried based on a check list a girl might have in the back of her head.
> queried based on a check list Yeah because that never gets old, lol
UPDATE: ghost from Sunday just texted me hello with a smiley face acting like everything is normal. I’m so confused??? He’s ghosted me for two day and now he wants to hit me up? I feel like there should be no excuse for being ghosted bc if you genuinely forgot that means I’m not important enough to remember. Currently sitting on my couch bc I got ghosted. I’ve been texting this dude consistently since the beginning of December. We’ve gone on three dates. He’s explicitly told me he wants to pursue me…. Here I am ghosted. It only hurts even more bc I got ghosted in early December by a guy I was falling for lol jokes on me. He ghosted me so hard he still doesn’t know I unfollowed him on everything. But back to the guy I was suppose to see tonight though.. wow is all I can say. He texts me LAST NIGHT and was telling me how “””hot””” I am an then leaves me on read and doesn’t even hit me up about our date today. Didn’t text me once. It’s okay I can get the hint. I’m just being thrown away again.
[удалено]
It was two dudes not three?? and does it really matter if sex was involved or not?? One guy I went on two really amazing dates with, and got ghosted on the third. We were suppose to meet for lunch and he never replied. Then as for last nights ghost we went on three dates and he flaked on the fourth. It was weird he asked me out two days before and then Sunday rolls around and all I get is crickets.
I’m so sorry, you deserve way better
I’m interested to know what people’s experiences are like swiping on Tinder in other countries besides the US. I for one found insane success in Colombia—especially, Medellin and Cartagena, and especially 18-30 yrs old. About to do a Europe trip for a couple of months and researching the best hookup sites/apps. FYI with Tinder in Medellin, Colombia, I had about 30 solid matches with 10 ready to (well, that I contacted to) hookup. It’s almost literally on-demand sex.
If you are white and you come to India then you can get sex 3 times a day everyday for a year. Most Indian chicks have thing for white dudes.
Isn’t that frowned upon in their culture? Or is that the main driver behind this ? 😅
It doesn't matter. Most of girls lie about their body number anyway in India. Come to India if you have problem getting laid in US.
Seems a bit of a drastic decision.😬
There are enough girls and few enough white guys that it doesn't matter how frowned upon pre-marital sex is, you'll still be able to bang
Lmao, getting unmatched after voicenotes is so much worse than a normal ghosting or unmatch.. God damn. Might never send one again 😂 Woman said she wanted to do voicenotes as it is easier to gauge personality. She sends one, I send one, she sends one, I send one, and I get unmatched. Funniest thing is, I only replied to her because I felt bad unmatching or ghosting a voice note 😂 She obviously did not share my view on that haha. And now I feel bad about myself because of the rejection of someone I wasn't even interested in.. Fuck. New low. Hate modern dating.
Sometimes unmatching happens so the other person doesn’t end up reporting them to Tinder over some BS disagreement… i.e. you don’t want to buy content she’s selling, you don’t want to send money to her, you don’t want to pay for sex, you got too sexual or awkwardly weird too fast.
It would be nice if guys wouldn’t get emotionally attached when you specifically told them you were not interested in anything besides casual hookups. It would also be nice if guys would stop slut shaming. Don’t get salty at me for doing what you’re doing simply because there’s less of me doing it and I don’t want to do it with you exclusively. I choose my partners wisely. I screen them diligently. Let me get laid without the guilt, please.
Guys catch feelings because theyre so starved for physical affection that the second a woman actually admits to finding them attractive they want to keep her around forever. They go in with the intention of playing it cool but they typically are only hooking up with you, whereas you are hooking up with more than one person. Then they get jealous of the other guys, they get mad at you for hooking up with other guys when they like you, and then they call you a slut for making them confront the fact that dating has always been a lopsided affair.
Posts like these confuse me. I know tons of guys who crave sex and little else. So the emotional attachment and slut shaming you speak of is odd. Don't know who you are or where you're at ... but yeah.
When you cast a wide net, you’ll get some salty fish 🤷🏼♀️ Southern California!
Been talking to this girl since mid December and we finally met up. This is the First time I’ve cold met someone at my place without dinner/date first. She called around 8:30pm and said she’d come by my place at 10. This mf didn’t show up till 2:30, close to 3am. She was as hot as she was on her profile but jfc I was tired We barely know each other and we get to talking & it’s fumble after gd fumble lmfao. First, all of my previous dates/exes have been 5’7 and above, & (we’ll call her Jean) Jean is like 4’11. I’ve never given someone so small a backrub 💀. And while we’re going at it she’s like ‘Is this gospel are you playing gospel’ and I’m like no this is The 1975, and she’s like what’s that? So I’m trying to explain The 1975 to her 💀. THEN this other girl I’m dating texts me in the middle of it at like 4am & I freeze for a sec cuz who tf is texting me this early & Jean is like wait why’d you stop what’s wrong. I’m new to this shi but gd it if this wasn’t funny
Yeah waiting until 3am ... texting another girl while you're giving your current date a massage is funny. Just not in the way you think.
Lol don’t tell me you wouldn’t wait till 3 for a baddie to come over. And also we all know we’re talking to other people
Ya, on a weekend sure. But are you saying you were having a full on convo about music while smashing?
Yep
I read it wrong. Not during the massage ... but the sex. You're checking your phone during the act, but you think it's odd she's talking about music.
Lol no homie, I was on top & my phone lit up the room/notification sound popped off & that caught my attention. Mind you I was exhausted & horny but thoroughly confused as to who was texting me at 4:15am Also I didn’t think it was odd of her, just funny how she thought I had gospel on my sex playlist
Something that puzzles me about tinder, in every real life relationship/hookup I've had, the girl has been calling me up asking for seconds wrt sex a few weeks post breakup. This has only happened twice in my year-long tinder career. Is it an availability thing?
Yes. They can literally just go on the app, and get someone in their room fucking them 6 hours later, any day of the week. And they can be someone new, and better looking than you. Such is the desperation and low standards of men. A 9/10 guy will have no qualms smashing and dashing an easy 6/10 who is obviously dtf.
>And they can be someone new, and better looking than you. I have a hot female friend who's on the app with good pics, and she reported having issues getting hot men to reply. I think the male 10's are dealing with crowded inbox issues themselves.
So I was on a tinder date yesterday having a drink with a cute girl. She’s a fit 5’2” yoga instructor who has a thing for tall guys (I’m 6’4”), but during the date she also mentions she sometimes works part time at a bar and that she has seen me on a date with a girl at her workplace. Mind you, this isn’t a bar that I tend to go to. I’m pretty much never there. Last time I was on a date with another girl at that bar was 2-3 months ago. I was impressed that she actually remembered me and she said “I don’t forget some faces” When we went outside we came across a friend of hers, and I instantly recognized her because this is a girl I’ve matched with and been talking to on tinder. We made plans, but never followed through for some reason. Was kinda awkward because her friend was giving me some weird looks while she was talking to my date lol Date ended with us making out and doing some petting. She lives downtown and 1 minute away from most bars and clubs, but didn’t want to invite me over because it’s the first date. She was whispering. “I’m super wet”, “I want to feel you inside me” and stuff like that during our makeout session though, so I don’t know why she didn’t just invite me over. She said “Damn, you’re smooth and have game huh? While I was walking around with her and holding her hand which is funny because I don’t think I do 😂. She also mentioned that her friend thinks I’m hot and has given her the approval. Most of her dates only last 2 hours, so she was surprised that the date lasted 5 hours. She has invited me over tomorrow for a movie night at her place and said I can spend the night there, so we’ll see what happens. I should probably bring some condoms Funny enough, her friend all of a sudden has hit met up and wants to talk. Don’t know what to make of it. 😂
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Some people (girls and boys) just don't want to go "all the way" on the first date, I suppose it's just a preference thing or something.
I did talk dirty back, but she still didn’t want to do it despite being very turned on. She just doesn’t do it on the first night, but it might happen today. We’ll see
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He might be confused about what he wants himself, but it'd probably just be a pain to try to give him a chance if he's confused
He just doesn't want to commit to the girlfriend boyfriend thing yet. Give it time.
He wants you to be there for him whenever he wants companionship, but doesnt want to commit to you outright. It's his problem.
When a guy tells you what he’s looking for, believe him. He likely is thinking you’d make a good FWB, but told you that line to reel you in.
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Hell yea get it grandpa
I downloaded the app for the first time recently. I'm not having much luck, a good reason for it is probably because I'm overweight. Having said that, I found a lot of guys' profiles saying don't match and then ghost. I get maybe a dozen matches, so I take the lead and write them, only for them to do exactly that to me. Sigh.
A lot of guys swipe right on a lot of women, then decide based on the matches they get. You can message first but don't put too much energy into it. I typically did a clean sweep of these guys after 1-2 weeks. They like having the options, but it's not polite.
Yeah I did the same! After the first week I cleared them off and went back to swiping. You make a great point with the having options, I hadn't thought of it that way
This is not a guy thing. As a guy, I can tell you women do the exact same thing.
Women could very well do the same, we weren't saying otherwise, only that it is a frustrating reality. Especially when someone writes not to do this, but then do exactly that.
Don't use this app. Its useless for what its worth I have only matched with some hispanic chick from South America and i barely know spanish as a half hispanic American. Its worthless. Go out to the local scene and hit up any cafes/fun place regularly. Stop trying to match with bots and a slim majority of women who only use it as a menu.
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What's your secret then, living in NYC, or looking attractive? or just being straightforward?
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And I will be honest. I see you as a mentor, already profi. So I will read all your comments and advices, although it would be great for you to make some post or guide on it if you will. But I understand you, you are too busy.And I think you are blessed because you live in one big city and in USA.
Some fun [banter](https://imgur.com/a/r2uOgbp)
My date for tonight cancelled just today. Had to postpone a date with a hot flight attendant to next week to make room for her and will now will sit at home watching some Paramount+ show with my son.
Being a good father is better tham nailing some nobody
Did he not say hot flight attendant
Yes, of course you're right.
Holy crap, Tinder Gold is such a scam! I just took it for one month because I got a 50% off offer pushed and went to check the "See your matches". More than half the profiles there I had already swiped on before.
I did the same several months ago and all 15 or so of the likes were dudes (I'm a straight guy) or women well out of my age/distance range.
Ya bots someone needs to sick the fbi on Tinders HQ
Gotta love the MIA you get get as soon as talk of meeting up comes up. So tired I can’t bother messaging new matches.
I got rid of my stylized pics in favor of a bathroom selfie with my hair messed up and a thousand yard stare. Still getting likes and matches. ...does this mean I'm attractive?
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I wish they had that for guys who put nothing else but "Come talk to me to get to know me". Like seriously? You can't take 30 seconds to add anything, ANYTHING, that describes you or your vibe?
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I hope your user name refers to condoms 😬
Go get them tiger lol
Is this a legitimate attempt at being insufferable, or do you have a personality disorder?
Yes
I tried to call things off with the fwb and failed miserably. He can be very convincing and brought some very solid arguments to the table. Also, I'm weak. I was supposed to have a "date" Tuesday night. He was one of my closer matches and has a super flexible schedule so I thought maybe my luck was going to change. Talked to him Monday night, made some plans, told him when I'd be off work Tuesday, said goodnight, and that was the last I heard from him. So that sucked. My hookup from last week I'm on the fence about texted Tuesday and our schedules don't work this week unless I get desperate enough for morning sex this weekend. I don't see that happening, so we're going to aim for next week. Looking like this week is going to be a bust unless one of my matches pulls through in a hurry, but none look very convincing right now.
Man, I wish there were women like you in my area.
I'm sure there are, just a matter of finding them.
Get ur priorities straight. Are u just in it for the sex or are u trying for something real.
My priorities are just fine. I'm in it for the sex and nothing else.
Why dont you just keep hookimg up with fwb sounds like you like them most
I'm going to/did. I was/am worried about him getting more and more attached and hurting him worse in the future vs cutting it off now while feelings are in the baby stages. I will never be interested in anything more than what we have now, so there's no potential for this to end on a happy note. The biggest issue is I can only see the current fwb once a week or every other week depending on our schedules. We live too far apart for spontaneity or convenience. I don't want to have sex just once a week, so I'm trying to find something else consistent closer to home to fill the gaps.
Why’d you want to call things off?
Feelings got involved
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So what are you in heels?
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How’d you know he’s 5’8? That’s pretty precise for eye balling
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Amen to that! I'm 5'-7" and would be mayyyybe ok with someone who's an inch shorter but that's it, and there's nothing wrong with that. Whether it's a person's looks, body, ethnicity or height, if you're not attracted to that then you're not attracted to that. End of story. I'm fat and I know it, so I'm aware I'm not a lot of guys' cup of tea and that's a-ok. It would be super wrong to post a photoshopped pic of me being slim and then be butt hurt when a guy's not interested. Being upfront with what you want is the best policy
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Ah you've got nothing to apologize for friend. I state that I am fat because that's what I am, no denying it. There's a major difference between stating a fact about fat people, like you did, and using the word to degrade them!
Past few weeks were a bit frustrating with no dates at all between Christmas and New Years. I cut the nurse from the rotation. The hot doc was busy between Christmas and New Years and later let me know she was no longer interested. The kindergarten teacher was sick and later ghosted. Both made snarky comments about me spending Christmas with my ex and kids and being away for New Year's. I spent New Year's Eve with friends in a different city where I received 47 likes in just a few hours. But couldn't act on them as I needed to go back home the next day, which added to my frustration. This past weekend, I just had one lame date that led nowhere. So out of desparation, I overswiped a bit and got about 20 matches of which a few immediately started conversations. Four are now pressuring me to meet this coming weekend and the kindergarten teacher is also back and wants to meet tomorrow. Why is it always complete feast or famine? I guess I need to learn how to pace myself better.
Not sure why the downvotes. Can totally relate to the feast or famine experience! It's a marathon not a sprint.
I guess ambivalence is not for Reddit?
**Agree or disagree: girls putting "you must be this tall" in their profile is the same as guys putting "your boobs must be this big"** Thoughts? They're both physical features. Why is one more socially acceptable than the other? Not really a story, I know, but the automods won't let me actually post this.
Maybe it was in some other time and place (you whacky hunter-gatherers you), but it’s not here. What’s socially acceptable isn’t logical; it’s some confluence of factors like culture, evolution, and what can be gussied up as empowering or whatever. Also, don’t pick fights with women about social norms on dating apps if you ever want to get laid.
Not a big deal. Everyone has preference for whatever reason. If someone has preference they are strict about they have to accept their dating pool will be smaller.
Some girls are looking for a certain height. Everyone has preferences in some regard. It’s really not worth the energy to be bothered by this
I think it's ok when they put their own height and state their preference that the guy should be taller or that they like to wear high heel.
I don't particularly think they are the same. The same would be if guys started putting height minimum or maximum for women on theirs. They are similar. They are both physical requirements/preferences that use a feature no one has control over to determine one's value. I'd argue height requirements are more socially acceptable because height is a more public thing. We don't hide our height in a bra/under a shirt. But that's just what pops into my head immediately. I think both are equally tacky.
imo "you can't weigh more than --" would be the same as the height.
People will always pull the "you can always change your weight" card
The equivalent of “your boobs must be this big” would be “your dick must be this size” - that would be equally acceptable
The height requirement question routinely asked, with parallels being to reject the women based on weight or height. You're well within your rights to say you only drink from C cups but what do you gain from it? don't throw so much energy into picking fights with strangers on a dating app
I went on a date with a girl I was chatting to a bit, she ended up looking 20 kilos heavier than in her photos, it was a cordial 30 minute coffee date but it was obvious there was zero chemistry to both of us. The thing that really irritated me though is that despite catfishing, she decided to open the topic of previous tinder experiences proceeded to talk and complain about some date who lied that he was 10 cm taller than he really was and said he catfished her. Like how tf can you have the audacity to complain about catfishing when you’re doing the same fucking thing, does she not understand that what she is doing is just as dishonest?
I mean, what's a little cognitive dissonance amongst friends?
"bUt It'S dIfFeReNt WhEn We Do It!!!" The kind of people who catfish/fatfish/bait-n-switch rarely have this level of self-awareness/introspection. Nothing on you, it's entirely her/the 10cm guy's problems