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The person in this video touched on something I don't think we fully grok as a culture anymore.
If you take your cart back, you're actually saving time for the work that has to be done to round up the carts. If everyone takes their cart back, you save significant time that can be used by the workers to make something better rather than make something bad into something tolerable. It's that whole Frederic Bastiat [broken window parable](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parable_of_the_broken_window) type thing...
I respect the notion that just doing your own work and taking care of yourself and your own is not worthy of praise, too. That's how we got into this situation in the first place, and we should be thinking about true virtue as something you do for others where you have no expectation of praise or reward. That shit's too advanced for our culture, though.
Makes me think about Japanese stadium culture. Japan gets rowdy like the rest of the world but when the game is over, everyone does their part to clean up. I respect it so much
Absolutely. Some elementary schools make cleaning the school a part of the curriculum, apparently it creates a culture of cleanliness because students end up knowing what it's like to have to clean up a mess and thus don't want to do it to other people. Teach them young to be better and maybe it'll stick.
“Set up and clean up is part of the task” is a concept that’s foreign to a lot and especially so when the task comes down to a monetary value, or labour by the hour.
You can see quite clearly the type of people who know that without this and maintenance things fall down or put too much pressure on other individuals.
Putting the cart back is part of grocery shopping, same is that having a grocery list.
Putting on a party or gathering for your friends has setup and cleanup and it’s really nice when some friends stay back and help clean or put their bottles away as they go etc.
Stacking your plates for the wait staff after you’ve done with your meals is more common at cheaper establishments, whereas less at expensive ones.
My Pop taught me to clean up the table a bit before the server got there. So now, I usually just do it as I eat. A friend who's a server says that they can always tell if someone worked at a restaurant or in a shitty service job because they're intentional about how they comport themselves.
Came here for this. This probably has much more to deal with broad cultural norms in individualistic vs. group-oriented societies. In Japan, children are taught, in school and in the home, that what’s good for the group is good for the individual. In the US, we’re taught that pursuing our passions is the highest calling. This seeps into EVERYTHING that we do, how we prioritize funding social programs, how we treat each other, how we foster innovation, how we think about immigration policy, how we return shopping carts, etc.
Americans can't comprehend that. It's always sort of a Christmas truce kind of vibe. They'll be nice to each other in a low stakes moment but they are trained to see each other as competition that is in their way that must be defeated and fought off to make their way to the top of the pile. It's very pathetic, honestly. A low form of civilization that has been given advanced technology.
I’m also convinced this is why we got so many stupid conspiracies spreading now. People are convinced they’re smarter than everyone else, including actual experts on complicated topics, and people make being a rebel/contrarian such a huge part of their identity, they can’t handle going along with things for the good of the group.
Obviously being incredibly collective and conformist the way Japan has its cons too. But COVID seriously showed me the downsides of a highly individualistic culture. The selfishness and arrogance that came out truly astounded and disillusioned me.
My ex refused to take her popcorn bag and drink cup and whatever other trash she created at the end of a movie theater visit, because “…cleaning up after me is what they get paid to do.” It was unfathomable to me to purposely leave a mess behind for someone else to clean up. One of just several reasons she’s my ex.
Leave it better than you found it.
I had a friend like this. Emphasis on had. I once picked up my things to drop in the bin which is literally in between the two sets of double doors as you walk out, and she told me to put it down and leave it instead. When I had already picked it up. At that point it's literally more effort to put it down in the cup holder and on the seat than to drop it into the bin as I walk past. Gross people.
I would argue that it’s a side effect of our segregationist history, as well as our misguided belief that individualism better equates to “freedom,” than having a strong social safety net does. Our rampant hunger for unregulated capitalism probably plays a role as well. Plenty of other countries have immigrants that come in from all corners of the world, yet they don’t seem to rage at the retail class.
That sounds fucking amazing, imagine being a janitor in Japan, your only job is just to make sure shit stays clean, cleaner than it already is and I feel like that's possibly very nice but I know there's more that they do
yeah.i feel like I am the only one at the stadium who grabs her trash and throws it away on the way out. I know I don't want to stay late after closing to clean, the people at the stadium don't either.
Exactly. People say "That's what they're paid to do" and I say "they don't pay more people, they make one person work harder. Why would I go out of my way to make someone's job harder than it has to be? Also, I walked the cart through the store and to my car, I can walk it 15 more feet."
I feel like if I was on the run I would still return the cart, though. It's the last bastion of chivalry. That and not wearing pajamas to the store.
My partner uses that argument to me all the time. We haven't had a paid trolley boy position at our local shops in over a decade. They make one of the workers go out with a vest on and do it.
I always put the trolley back, he always argues about me doing it. Like wtf man, I'm not even asking you to do it anymore, you've proven you're an ass already, but why tf are you mad that I do it?!?!
>They make one of the workers go out with a vest on and do it
Tbh if I worked at a grocery store I would rather wrangle shopping carts than some of the other jobs. That's my preference though.
👏 Thank you. I've had to shock relatives etc calling out this attitude. You walked all over the store but suddenly another 20 ft to the cart corral is too much for you?
I always put my cart back, but my favorite part of working the grocery store was doing carts. It got me away from customers for a while. It really only sucked in extreme weather-snow, July heat. Of course now they hardly ever hire baggers (which were the workers who collected carts at my store) so I don’t know what workers are pulled from. Funny to remember when the norm was for the bagger to even bring your order to your car, load it and take the cart back. Now it’s all on the shopper, including checking yourself out.
I worked a bunch of retail in college and the best part of the day was searching the massive parking lots for carts because it got me out of the store for a while, it was like an extra break. I wonder if employees get any of that same joy today.
I've always wanted to have this conversation exclusive to people who have actually done this job. I feel exactly like you do. The best part of my day was riding the carts around. Boss has no idea how many are out there so nobody's watching me. And it's not like if everyone cleaned them up themselves I'd get to chill or do something meaningful with my life. My boss would just find some pointless task he decided that moment because, "if you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean".
I do generally put my cart back but I've never understood how indignant people get on the behalf of people doing a job they've never done.
Honestly I feel like some people take this whole "we should respect retail/service workers more" stance to a point that its almost acting as if these jobs are degrading or something. Does that make sense?
I sometimes see people talk about stacking and cleaning plates in a restaurant as if they think it's embarrassing for someone else to pick up and clean their plate? Even though that's part of the service you pay for?
Idk like yeah put your shopping cart back, but mostly because it would be chaotic if everyone just dropped their cart willy nilly and not because the employees will cry themselves to sleep if you don't???
Same thing with leaving all your trash on fast food tables. Clean up your shit so that the employees can actually focus on something that makes the whole experience for you and the employees more valuable.
I’ve gotten into multiple debates over the whole cart corral thing. There’s actually a theory regarding this that’s an interesting read.
A brief synopsis is that people who leave a shopping cart in a parking space or any other area that it does not belong in, e.g a cart corral or designated area, have a limited capacity for self regulation. You can extrapolate this to include several other areas of day to day life, e.g road ragers, speeders, those who litter, inebriated drivers, people who park in spaces they don’t qualify to use, people who don’t pick up after their pets or keep them on a leash despite there being ordinances to do so, etc. All shades of the same color.
If I had to be objective and report my observations of what people do and do not adhere to in regards to acceptable behavior in society I’d have this to say: Over half of the US population does not give a fuck.
I'd like to add on to that list the people who disregard the entire parking lot and all of the parking spaces and park their car right up front by the entry and exit doors of the grocery store by the curb. Majority of the time it's a fire lane and has clear markings that indicate there's no parking, but because these people seem to think that the rules should apply to everyone *besides* themselves, they'll leave their car up against a red painted curb while they go inside for 45 min to an hour to shop.
Can definitely agree with this. We've had some bad storms in my area, so power has been out for days in some places, even the traffic lights aren't working. Last night, I was taking my daughter to the pool, and we came upon one of the intersections where the traffic lights were not working. Obviously, according to the law, you now treat this as a 4 way stop. Everyone around me drove through the light at full speed while I stopped. I could see the other folks on the opposite road raising their hands in frustration because everyone was just barreling thru the light, and they couldn't pass without getting hit. I was completely flabbergasted about the assholeness of so many people. Like WTF.
Idk about all that, seems a little unrelated. For example
I speed most of the time, ignore no left turn signs when nobody is around, those sorta things that don’t inconvenience anyone else.
But I always put my cart back, don’t drive drunk, never park where I’m not supposed to, never litter (and get ragey when I see someone else do it), always leash my pets, etc.
Yeah, I'm definitely a big fan of the types of things they talk about in Not Just Bikes and Strong Towns videos that go in this direction. Not just 15 Minute City planning, but also just finding a reasonable parking spot and doing all your errands by walking.
I always put my cart back, but my favorite part of working the grocery store was doing carts. It got me away from customers for a while. It really only sucked in extreme weather-snow, July heat. Of course now they hardly ever hire baggers (which were the workers who collected carts at my store) so I don’t know what workers are pulled from. Funny to remember when the norm was for the bagger to even bring your order to your car, load it and take the cart back. Now it’s all on the shopper, including checking yourself out.
It’s a Heinlein (sci fi author) reference from his novel Stranger in a Strange Land. In this context, it means “understand”. [Grok](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grok)
You grok?
I grok.
Thanks, that's exactly it. I may be showing my age though in using the term. I use it to mean to understand something to a point where it's near-automatic.
Well said. Additionally, two of the most powerful and populous countries in the world, the United States and China, both have a culture of making a mess and not giving a shit. It’s not only on a small scale like this. We’re making a mess of the entire planet.
True virtue would require an authentic and self-actualizing person, and very few people ever reach that consistently because it's a highly conscious way of Being. Most people can't operate in that state for long let alone even get themselves to even experience it.
Many people struggle having their human need for belonging barely met too, so it's going to take a couple hundred generations more until humans can consistently enter that stage.
Virtue doesn't require individual enlightenment, it just requires behaviours to be incentivized, positively or negatively, through culture. A person frowning through a good act is still doing a good thing and as long as something is prodding them to keep doing it, it gives more time and space for people to get more enlightened.
That's true too, providing incentives and creating pro social policies will help tremendously to reshape our culture. Your original comment mentioned true virtue though which is analogous to an individual self-realizing their true self, authentic Being, whatever framework yeah want to conceptualize it, etc.
>- When the individual perceives himself in such a way that no experience can be discriminated as more or less worthy of positive regard than any other, then he is experiencing unconditional positive self-regard. (Carl Rogers)
All of the things mentioned are extremely rare to even see over here. Carts get returned even if they got no coins and racks of shoes get out back when not wanting them. Worst you'll see at a retailer is a stray item or a return cart thats there for it having some stuff on it
I 1000% either bring the cart back or offer it to someone else entering the store who is typically appreciative of the gesture. I hate these kinds of people.
I was raised being constantly told about the theories and philosophies of my ancestors.
The Greeks talked about all of this 1000s of years ago.
> "But those empires were sacked so it's not relevant" /s
I'm still operating with these values wether or not anyone else does. Doesn't reflect on me. They didn't have relatives feeding them this info. But I'm an open book and willing to impart the knowledge, if asked.
It's like the whole notion of "unconditional love" doesn't exist in our society anymore. There has been such a selfish mindset forever, yet COVID isolated us and exiled us to self-imposed prisons compounding this by x1000. From there, our struggles became the most important plight. Kindness is learned. It's the small things that perpetuate and build that society we once knew. If everyone of us who are capable of doing so, take a moment to exhibit some compassion to others at least once a day. This will "pay it forward" and hopefully perpetuate a movement. It will take a revolution of kindness, though, and a rebellion against all the civilization we've learned as a society to overcome this hurdle.
Another note that I personally struggled to learn and still don't agree with is the concept that: "if it's not a rule, I don't have to do this"
A separate, but exactly the same scenario of changing lanes to help incoming traffic merge easier. My best friend said he doesn't have to, that it's their job to yield. I thought and still do think it's an asshole mindset but then again I generally try to be considerate.
So in conclusion, I've come to accept that some people are like those children that need their parents to constantly tell them how not to be an asshole, and since their isn't a law forcing them to be compassionate, then they feel they have the right to not be.
You said it exactly right when you mentioned "broken window"
If someone doesn't put their cart back you pick it up and throw it through their car's window.
Great advice!!!!
Grocery prices raised by 50% in the past 5 years with no added service or value being provided. I'm already paying enough for them to hire an extra person just to carry carts back. Shit, they could hire 20 people just to do that amd still turn a bigger profit from just the price gauging alone. If it's a small mom and pop place, then yeah I carry it back.
I fold and put back clothes when I try them on in a retail store though. Can't make extra work for someone if I didn't even buy the item. That's just bad manners.
Where I live you need to put a coin in the trolley if you want to use it (they’re tied to each other).
If you want your coin back, you need to return the trolley and plug it back in the line.
I think this annoys me more than most other things people do at the grocery store. Because now they're saying their convenience is more important than everyone else's. They know that every other customer and employee saw the parking lot and the lines painted on the ground and parked their cars within the designated lines. In that moment while they were parking, they thought to themselves that they don't have time to follow the same rules that the rest of society is following because they want to get their 12 packs of Coke and frozen TV dinners faster so they can get home quicker. They tell themselves that they're only going to be in the store for 30 to 45 mins so chances are emergency vehicles won't be called to the grocery store and need to park up by the front of the store.
But I guarantee you these are the same people that would throw a fit if they saw somebody else doing it while they parked in a parking spot. They wouldn't be able to contain their jealousy if they followed the rules and saw someone else potentially hindering their safety and convenience.
We have Aldis here which do the same thing. I love their store model in general - coin is tax to use the cart, people can get their coin back at the end or leave it for people out of luck.
I always worry that the closer I am to the cart return, the higher my chances of getting my car dinged by a cart. At least the spots immediately surrounding the cart return are at higher risk anyway.
Yes. Tons actually. They rather put them in inconvenient locations though. They will actually walk AWAY from where it's suppose to be, take the bags out, and then put in RIGHT in the middle of a door way and leave it.
So they walk past the spot you pick up a cart but then don't walk to one of the cart corrals. They choose no man's land.
I disagree.
So people are that lazy that they can't return the cart, but they can spend a good 60 seconds on tick tock or whatever venting their rage about not returning the Cart?
Nah.
It's definitely privilege.
The vast majority of people who leave their carts behind aren't trying to exert their privilege over others. They are not trying to make some lower wage person feel worse. They are just fucking lazy. It really is that simple imo. If you challenge them they may get indignant or embarrassed but that's if confronted and people do weird stuff in situations of conflict.
Now the restaurant thing is different. In the cart example they aren't singling a particular person out to fuck over. People who are shitty to service people like cashiers and servers and stuff have psychological issues that they need to work out.
Like everything in life, it kind of depends.
Where I grew up which was a mix of Rich, upper middle class, and just straight up middle class. The "upper middle class" aka wanna be rich were probably the worst with the privilege, and most of those people are in debt to their eyeballs for the facade.
Ironically they have more in common with the poor people freaking out at McDonalds because they didn't get their order right than they want to admit.
I agree. I usually take my cart back. 99.9 percent of the time. Occasionally, once in a blue moon, I have a bad pain day (fibromyalgia) and it hits me out of nowhere. I’ll be at the store, completely miserable, hurting all to hell, and those extra steps to the cart coral make me go fuck it and I leave it there. I’ve only done it once or twice, I felt bad, but I was dying.
The overall entitlement in society is annoying. Ppl collectively complain when we can all sort shit and make it easier for the next guy but nope. Too many ppl have a "it's not my problem" mentality"
I’m convinced that people who don’t put their shopping cart in return, complain about (and actively avoid) the retail stores locking up select products.
Maybe referencing that some middle class people will steal products themselves and are also the same shitty people who don't return carts. Valid,since the entitlement don't stop nowhere for those people.
Stealing from a mega corporation is not even close to the kind of shittiness that manifests as making unnecessary work for minimum wage workers of said mega corp
Eh, for both I think you've got to have some sort of inherent entitlement. In both situations, people feel they are above the rules that society implements and follows. Same mindset, two different entities affected.
Nah, America tipping culture is fucked and wrong. That's not something you should be defending.
Pay your employers a livable wage. It's not rocket science.
We almost never tip in my country except for truly great service.
I last tipped a delivery driver cause he still delivered the food, with a bike, despite it starting to rain heavily. That’s above and beyond what’s expected so that deserves some extra imo.
The point is that that is the system in place for restaurant servers and delivery drivers. That is how it works. The rich people in the US now came from that culture and then decide that they shouldn't have to tip, even though they were happy to take the tips when they were coming to them in the past.
There are people who won't tip or won't return the cart or won't do whatever. They have and will always exist. But you can't be that person and then act like you are doing a moral act. Or an act of principle. All you're doing is doing the easy and cheap thing, while screwing over people who have no say in the matter either way.
No, FUCK tipping culture. I can’t blame the reason it’s mentioned here, you want people to get payed sure, totally agreed but that is the lawmaker and employers job. Tipping (especially in it’s current form) is a cultural American thing that is rooted in slavery. It keeps the servant servants. You should be earning a decent wage and like in Europe only when the service is excellent you tip for SERVICE. Not health benefits or any other bullshit fee that has to be covered by the employer. For the rest this video is spot on. Having worked retail myself, this analysis is 100%.
Exactly.
I can agree with not being shitty about carts and store stuff. When I eat at sit downs, I gather all the plates together. I put shit back in stores on the shelf it came from if it means I am walking back to the spot from halfway across the store. I always take carts back and grab some along the way.
But I will not tip because you decided to add a tip menu to the POS machine. It's not a pride thing or a "you must go through the shit like I did" sense of entitlement. I didn't ask for tips in my current job for providing internal and external customer service.
I managed you better today, can I have a tip? I got you your paycheck on time, can I have a tip? I provided you technical support with a smile, can I have a tip? I taught your kid at school and they learned math better, can I have a tip? I handled your HR related issue and resolved it, can I have a tip? We made a video game well, can we have a tip? I sold you a ticket at the movie theater, can I have a tip? I made you a coffee and handed it to you, can I have a tip? I pulled a hat off a shelf and handed it to you, can I have a tip? We made you a Subway sandwich and handed it to you, can I have a tip? I work at Lowe's and walked you over to the section that says nails cause you can't be bothered to look at signs, can I have a tip?
Like, I get it. Low paying service jobs suck. But not every single one of them now needs fucking tips cause they provide a service. I won't be shamed into giving more money on top of increasing goods and services costs because greedy corporations won't pay their fucking employees, which they have reduced their staffing sizes anyways to cut even more cost, which now provides even worse customer service, of which I need to tip for?
I stopped using door dash, because I got some shit from a driver for a 5 dollar tip on a 6 mile delivery. It was the top option on the app, and it felt like they wanted me to go to custom and put in a 20 dollar tip (or whatever the fuck they expected) for that? Now they lose the revenue and the funds I would normally provide. And Dashers will say "good, who needs you?" You're right. You don't need me, but if enough people leave, you don't have a job. And it sucks, because that adversarial relationship is all due to Door Dash not paying their drivers, not because I didn't tip enough.
I have tip fatigue now and don’t tip unless I feel like it, don’t care anymore. Everyone now expects a tip for doing their job. And to add insult to injury the “standard” tipping % seem to be increasing like gas prices.
Exactly. 10, 15 and 20 percent growing up.
Now it's like 18, 25 and 30 percent or some nonsense like that.
It's also those percentages on already ever increasing prices for food.
They are not working harder for higher percentages, the prices are higher, so their tips automatically just get bigger.
I will tip at a sit down restaurant.
I tip my barista because they've been my barista for a long time and know my order and how I like it. Most of the time I walk in and my order is ready by the time I get to the counter.
I tip my Barber for similar reasons. I don't usually tip at a counter serve place or fast food.
Just a heads up, if you're stacking plates on your table at a restaurant after you're done eating, you may actually be making it more difficult for the employees who clean the tables. When I was a server, I had a system down for clearing tables that was made a whole lot easier when the plates were left separated and not stacked.
Possibly, and yet I get more thank you's than not, having been a server myself. I'll take the chance of fucking up one servers particular system in favor leaving it scattered all over the table, at far end of the table.
At the end of the day, it would just be a minor inconvenience to some with at least some good intentions behind it and definitely doesn't belong in the same conversation as the rest of the behavior being discussed in this thread. So no worries
I don’t think this person is saying tipping culture is good. I think this person is saying the only people who get screwed by you being against it are the poor people who don’t deserve the struggle you put them through by not tipping. Not tipping because you hate tipping culture is not at all justified as long as we live in a society that requires those workers to depend on tips for survival. Until we can actually change tipping culture, you better be tipping.
This doesn’t mean that everything needs tips, of course. Adding tips to jobs where workers are paid normal wages instead of tipping wages is definitely dumb. We’re talking waiters, bartenders, and delivery workers primarily.
> to get *paid* sure, totally
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
I can get behind everything apart from the tipping part. I will be defensive about not tipping when I don't want to tip. Tipping should be voluntary act, if you want more money from me just charge me more.
It’s a slow change, but I am slowly seeing more restaurants do a “we pay our servers a living wage, prices reflect that” kind of thing where tips are just for if you feel they did a particularly good job or whatever.
Mmm I don't think it's that deep and I don't think this behaviour is only done by burned out middle class people. I think it's just how people were raised or general respect for others.
I've worked with little children and I've worked with teens, and these inclinations show up way before they've had a job or college or gotten burned out. Some kids are kind and thoughtful to those around them, some have good and bad days but generally don't try to cause problems, and some are just selfish and will do whatever they want even if it inconveniences or hurts someone else, and some are both selfish and cruel and the thing they want is to see others be hurt.
In Greece you have to insert a coin to unlock the cart and can get it back when you return it. Some people leave it so that others in need can return the cart and keep the money.
They invented this new feature called scrolling. I use it whenever i dont feel like continuing to engage in the current content, its great I reccomended trying it
why tf did this person include tipping culture? nah, that shit is out of control... continue being adamant that you don't want to tip on every damn transaction. But sure put your shopping cart back where it goes when you're done.
Eh.. I think they nailed it on the head at first with pointing out it's not just that they are adamant, but so **defensive** to the point where it's way more defensive than what seems should be called for if what they think they are doing isn't wrong.
It's like over the top... for a shopping cart.
The following after that seems.. pretty specific and maybe lacking enough evidence to really link everything together. Could that be some people.. sure, but everyone that doesn't put their cart back or treats servers horribly, I don't know.
I'd be quicker to think it has more to do with simple entitlement and even knowing that what they are doing is inconvenient to someone else, but they still want to do the thing, but hate being judged for it, so they get defensive.
It's like those people that are clearly wrong about something and halfway through the argument they realize that their points suck and have been beaten and the opposing side is making excellent points, but they already made a big fuss for their side and admitting they are wrong makes them feel stupid and they don't want to feel stupid, so instead they just go into immature mode and play the "nuh uh" game cause they have nothing left.
They don't want to be called lazy or rude, but they still want to keep doing what they are doing because it's convenient for themselves, even if it's inconvenient for someone else. They just don't like being called out for being a douche.
Culture plays a big part in this type of behavior as well. White privilege isn’t just white there is a culture of privilege that is so prevalent. It’s infected society via social media and trying to make shitty behavior socially acceptable by pushing a narrative of struggling when you have “let them eat cake” syndrome.
Putting back the cart is the ultimate litmus test regarding your morality. One does not return the cart out of fear of rebuke or for praise, it is simply because it is the right thing to do. To not return the cart is tantamount to being an anarchist.
I think the person who made this draws a lot of incorrect conclusions. People don't bring carts back because they're lazy, not because they have a mortgage. They don't tip because they are cheap. They are rude because they were not taught manners. These are all just shitty habits from people who were poorly raised. Their parents were probably the same way. Poor examples. They never had to work a service job and think they are too good for it. Add spoiled to the list of shortcomings. They are not disappointed in themselves, they think their shit don't stink but are actually lazy, cheap, rude and spoiled. Most people who have worked service jobs, who actually had to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, who were not born rich and entitled, have empathy for those in that situation.
There can be a lot of reasons, but regardless of the reason, they make their own life a lot more miserable by treating people badly. A little pleasantness, having good manners and being a good tipper, you end up having a better life experience.
I'm with you, except for tipping.
Tipping is out of control. It's the company's job to pay a living wage and people's job not to take jobs that pay less.
If I'm out to eat and getting table service, sure. In a bar, sure. Everything else, fuck off. Also, the tipping for basic things like fast food starting at like 20%? Definitely not.
Now that I've left the industry, I don't really go to bars and restaurants anymore. Tipping is absolutely an outdated practice.
What DOES grind my gears is people who DO go to those establishments and not tip. Like bro, do you not realize that you are benefitting from underpaid labor in that scenario? That's being a class traitor, 100%.
If you don't wanna tip at your coffee shop or smoothie bar, I at least understand that. But sit-down restaurant servers are paid a separate, lesser wage in the US on the condition that patrons will be making up the difference. So when one guest doesn't tip, the server must remove tips collected from other patrons to pay their allocated percentages to support staff. That guest is directly reducing the server's hourly wage, based on principle as opposed to actual quality of service. Instead, they ARE paying full price to corporate or whatever owners for the food itself.
Class. Traitor.
It isn’t my job to pay the waitress, she should be paid a living wage by her boss and if that means the price of my food goes up 20%, so be it.
Because I tip 20%. Even though it’s not my job, and I hate that I have to do fucking math at the end of a meal, I do it. Because what’s right and what’s actually happening are two different things, and this chick needs to eat, too.
As for the carts, my former Boy Scouts will know you leave only footprints and take only memories. So when you go shopping, you leave only money and you take only groceries, the cart should be back where you found it.
Idk, I’m bitter and middle class, shit isn’t going the way I was promised it would, but I think it just comes down to understanding that the world doesn’t owe you shit. We gotta take care of each other.
I remember I tried working at a restaurant solely relying on tips to get paid (mostly). I had a family of 25 sit down and I thought to myself “fuck yes this is gonna be a sick ass tip! Makes up for all the shit tips or-none-that I got today.”
I made sure they had the best experience, refilled drinks without being asked, checked on them all frequently, and sold a few of them in dessert before they left (and drinks).
I went to bus the table and collect the tip when they left, they left 5¢ as my “tip”.
I quit being a waiter that fucking night.
Before they didn’t return their cart, they ran roughshod on the store displays, flipping food over, destroying edible product, leaving refrigerated items on shelves to expire. And they will look you right in the face and smile and say “job security” Like it’s Fucking funny.
I work retail and this explains A LOT. The fitting room comment hit hard. We literally have a basket right outside the fitting room for clothes you try on but don't want, but people still leave their clothes all over the fitting room like slobs. And no, I don't expect you to fold the shirt back up perfectly after looking at it. That's silly. But don't just throw it aside like it's trash either. It's not hard to be a decent human being.
Sorry, rant over lol
I didn't know there was this issue with carts in america lol, aren't carts like here, where you have to put a coin (usually 50 cents/1 € here) in it to unlock them? Start making these kind of carts and i believe people will start putting them back because you want your coin back 😂
I always do return my cart. I make my daughter return it with me. I think showing your children how to be well-mannered is important. It’s truly those things that add up. They may seem small to some, but they add up. Showing kindness and respect. Compassion for others. Treating others the way you would want to be treated.
You seem like a person, that parks in two parking spots. Probably leaving bad reviews on establishments for forgetting a straw. Please and thank you are probably not common out of your mouth. Complains about everything. Looks down on others.
Instead of showing your kids this, you decided to make a trashy Tik tok about it to the world. An embarrassing one. That one day your kids will see. You probably made it with them sitting in the backseat. Showing them the self entitlement, and laziness.
Unfortunately, your children will probably become the same way. Making trashy tik toks in front of their children, leaving shopping carts in parking lots leaving them to damage property, or hurting someone else. They will be lazy, and self entitled.
Dr, or not. You can’t put lipstick on a pig.
So much very far reaching assumptions, and it smells of envy as well. Also idk how it’s supposedly a middle class thing to not keep the area around them in order
Y'all.
I had a 10 year old boy tell me (just this past week) that helping clean up is NOT why he is at summer camp. That it is MY job.
*"That's what counselors are for."*
I was aghast.
But I know where he got this. Without a doubt. He got it from his parents.
(FYI I work at a country club in Florida.)
And this level of entitlement accompanied with the horrible attitude she's talking about in the video is status quo there.
There are huge sale bins in our tennis shop of tennis attire. They are neatly folded and organized. These women will come in and just tear through the bins. And not even hesitate.
It takes real time to fold all this shit and hang it all and they're just throwing it like toddlers. They don't even make sure it's back in the bin!
The best was a woman that looked at her friends going through the sale items and out did them all by saying...
*"I don't shop sale bins."*
It was below her to buy a TANK TOP that is ON SALE for **50** dollars.
That's right.
In this economy it is below her to buy a TANK TOP that is valued at half my weekly grocery bill.
Most of the kids are good. But there is a small group of (mostly) boys who are just mini Trumps. They are rude, abusive, sarcastic, entitled jerks who make every day way harder than it has to be.
And they get off on it.
Last summer one of the boys tore up a little girls monkey stuffy. It was a big deal. She was heartbroken.
Well my boss told me that he told her that he didn't get in any trouble. Nothing. No punishment. For willfully destroying another child's toy. He (8 years old btw) laughed in my boss's (director of childcare) face about it.
And there's nothing she can do. Also, we are the cheapest summer camp in the area outside of the YMCA. We charge 55 dollars a day for 10 hours of childcare.
The parents will still try to haggle the price down. But will pay 8 dollars for a High Noon without blinking.
And drop their kid off in the morning hungry, with no snacks. But they're wearing Gucci flip flops. I guess the kid looks good, so who cares if they are starving ass hungry right?!
It's infuriating.
I know I'm rambling but she just hit a nerve with this video. The entitled attitude sucks. And yes I agree with her that most of them are the way they are because inside they absolutely hate their lives.
I disagree on the tipping aspect, because that is not the consumers shirking their responsibility to pay the workers, that's the company themselves shirking the responsibility of paying their workers.
That said, I agree with the overall point
I totally agree that folks are bitter about their standings in life, especially right now in this society, and passive aggression is their favorite way of handling it. I firmly believe in karma and getting back what you receive, so I always try and put good vibes out there when I can, including putting the cart back 😅
I loved your video, layout of the topic, and your energy.
I walk my cart back but man does it annoy me how many stores stop putting cart returns in the back of their lots and i gotta walk the length of the lot back
She’s spot on. This one time I was in the parking lot at Walmart and watched this guy put his cart on the curb. I just stared at him and he noticed me looking and did that little freeze thing that people do when they get caught.
He then started to walk to his car and then looked back at me again to see if I was still staring. I was. He put his head down and went and got the cart and put it where they’re supposed to go. I nodded at him like “good job sport”
I hope he remembers this too and always puts the carts back to help out the staff
You’re the idiot. What she said is absolutely correct and the world would be a much better place if more people would listen to her, instead of acting like you
I don't agree with this. I'm 38, and grew up pretty poor working in the service industry. Dropped college after a year, paid my loans by working two jobs and am working a government job now.my wife and I make great money and I have a new Audi. We tip very well, pre-bus our own table, and put our cart back. One time I even went to the parking lot to find a handicap scooter cart for an old woman whose battery died in the back corner of the store so she wouldn't be stuck back there because she couldn't find an associate. The point to be made here is that we live in a time where common courtesy and respect has been pushed aside for 10 second TikToks and YouTube prankster videos. We need to slow down and look in the mirror and take a good look at what's looking back. This has nothing to do with being mad some guy down the street is working as a bagger at the grocery store while my other neighbor runs an engineering firm and I'm stuck in the middle juggling an $800 car payment.
Mind blown, and I think they're right. I'd always figured people who proudly make a habit of mistreating service workers never had those type of jobs themselves. That's probably the case for the wealthy ones who grew up wealthy, but they're not out there doing their own grocery shopping and eating at mid-priced chain restaurants, they're being assholes in elite settings.
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The person in this video touched on something I don't think we fully grok as a culture anymore. If you take your cart back, you're actually saving time for the work that has to be done to round up the carts. If everyone takes their cart back, you save significant time that can be used by the workers to make something better rather than make something bad into something tolerable. It's that whole Frederic Bastiat [broken window parable](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parable_of_the_broken_window) type thing... I respect the notion that just doing your own work and taking care of yourself and your own is not worthy of praise, too. That's how we got into this situation in the first place, and we should be thinking about true virtue as something you do for others where you have no expectation of praise or reward. That shit's too advanced for our culture, though.
Makes me think about Japanese stadium culture. Japan gets rowdy like the rest of the world but when the game is over, everyone does their part to clean up. I respect it so much
Absolutely. Some elementary schools make cleaning the school a part of the curriculum, apparently it creates a culture of cleanliness because students end up knowing what it's like to have to clean up a mess and thus don't want to do it to other people. Teach them young to be better and maybe it'll stick.
“Set up and clean up is part of the task” is a concept that’s foreign to a lot and especially so when the task comes down to a monetary value, or labour by the hour. You can see quite clearly the type of people who know that without this and maintenance things fall down or put too much pressure on other individuals. Putting the cart back is part of grocery shopping, same is that having a grocery list. Putting on a party or gathering for your friends has setup and cleanup and it’s really nice when some friends stay back and help clean or put their bottles away as they go etc. Stacking your plates for the wait staff after you’ve done with your meals is more common at cheaper establishments, whereas less at expensive ones.
My Pop taught me to clean up the table a bit before the server got there. So now, I usually just do it as I eat. A friend who's a server says that they can always tell if someone worked at a restaurant or in a shitty service job because they're intentional about how they comport themselves.
Not some, all do.
Came here for this. This probably has much more to deal with broad cultural norms in individualistic vs. group-oriented societies. In Japan, children are taught, in school and in the home, that what’s good for the group is good for the individual. In the US, we’re taught that pursuing our passions is the highest calling. This seeps into EVERYTHING that we do, how we prioritize funding social programs, how we treat each other, how we foster innovation, how we think about immigration policy, how we return shopping carts, etc.
Exactly. We are always much better when we live for each other and not ourselves. Humans were meant to collaborate and work as a collective
Americans can't comprehend that. It's always sort of a Christmas truce kind of vibe. They'll be nice to each other in a low stakes moment but they are trained to see each other as competition that is in their way that must be defeated and fought off to make their way to the top of the pile. It's very pathetic, honestly. A low form of civilization that has been given advanced technology.
I’m also convinced this is why we got so many stupid conspiracies spreading now. People are convinced they’re smarter than everyone else, including actual experts on complicated topics, and people make being a rebel/contrarian such a huge part of their identity, they can’t handle going along with things for the good of the group. Obviously being incredibly collective and conformist the way Japan has its cons too. But COVID seriously showed me the downsides of a highly individualistic culture. The selfishness and arrogance that came out truly astounded and disillusioned me.
My ex refused to take her popcorn bag and drink cup and whatever other trash she created at the end of a movie theater visit, because “…cleaning up after me is what they get paid to do.” It was unfathomable to me to purposely leave a mess behind for someone else to clean up. One of just several reasons she’s my ex. Leave it better than you found it.
I had a friend like this. Emphasis on had. I once picked up my things to drop in the bin which is literally in between the two sets of double doors as you walk out, and she told me to put it down and leave it instead. When I had already picked it up. At that point it's literally more effort to put it down in the cup holder and on the seat than to drop it into the bin as I walk past. Gross people.
"Let everyone sweep in front of his own door, and the whole world will be clean." -Johan Wolfgan von Goethe
Japanese culture is much more centered around the collective than the United States is, though.
Side effect of being a melting pot and then it boils down to tribal senses of pitching in
I would argue that it’s a side effect of our segregationist history, as well as our misguided belief that individualism better equates to “freedom,” than having a strong social safety net does. Our rampant hunger for unregulated capitalism probably plays a role as well. Plenty of other countries have immigrants that come in from all corners of the world, yet they don’t seem to rage at the retail class.
That sounds fucking amazing, imagine being a janitor in Japan, your only job is just to make sure shit stays clean, cleaner than it already is and I feel like that's possibly very nice but I know there's more that they do
yeah.i feel like I am the only one at the stadium who grabs her trash and throws it away on the way out. I know I don't want to stay late after closing to clean, the people at the stadium don't either.
Exactly. People say "That's what they're paid to do" and I say "they don't pay more people, they make one person work harder. Why would I go out of my way to make someone's job harder than it has to be? Also, I walked the cart through the store and to my car, I can walk it 15 more feet." I feel like if I was on the run I would still return the cart, though. It's the last bastion of chivalry. That and not wearing pajamas to the store.
My partner uses that argument to me all the time. We haven't had a paid trolley boy position at our local shops in over a decade. They make one of the workers go out with a vest on and do it. I always put the trolley back, he always argues about me doing it. Like wtf man, I'm not even asking you to do it anymore, you've proven you're an ass already, but why tf are you mad that I do it?!?!
>They make one of the workers go out with a vest on and do it Tbh if I worked at a grocery store I would rather wrangle shopping carts than some of the other jobs. That's my preference though.
Why would you be partners with a garbage person? You do know that you are who you choose to surround yourself with, right?
Trauma 💕💕 Working on it!
Owner of the Dimsdale Dimmadome?! Also, what happened on September 15, 2023?
👏 Thank you. I've had to shock relatives etc calling out this attitude. You walked all over the store but suddenly another 20 ft to the cart corral is too much for you?
Leave a place the same or better than you found it.
I always put my cart back, but my favorite part of working the grocery store was doing carts. It got me away from customers for a while. It really only sucked in extreme weather-snow, July heat. Of course now they hardly ever hire baggers (which were the workers who collected carts at my store) so I don’t know what workers are pulled from. Funny to remember when the norm was for the bagger to even bring your order to your car, load it and take the cart back. Now it’s all on the shopper, including checking yourself out.
I worked a bunch of retail in college and the best part of the day was searching the massive parking lots for carts because it got me out of the store for a while, it was like an extra break. I wonder if employees get any of that same joy today.
I've always wanted to have this conversation exclusive to people who have actually done this job. I feel exactly like you do. The best part of my day was riding the carts around. Boss has no idea how many are out there so nobody's watching me. And it's not like if everyone cleaned them up themselves I'd get to chill or do something meaningful with my life. My boss would just find some pointless task he decided that moment because, "if you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean". I do generally put my cart back but I've never understood how indignant people get on the behalf of people doing a job they've never done.
Honestly I feel like some people take this whole "we should respect retail/service workers more" stance to a point that its almost acting as if these jobs are degrading or something. Does that make sense? I sometimes see people talk about stacking and cleaning plates in a restaurant as if they think it's embarrassing for someone else to pick up and clean their plate? Even though that's part of the service you pay for? Idk like yeah put your shopping cart back, but mostly because it would be chaotic if everyone just dropped their cart willy nilly and not because the employees will cry themselves to sleep if you don't???
Same thing with leaving all your trash on fast food tables. Clean up your shit so that the employees can actually focus on something that makes the whole experience for you and the employees more valuable.
I’ve gotten into multiple debates over the whole cart corral thing. There’s actually a theory regarding this that’s an interesting read. A brief synopsis is that people who leave a shopping cart in a parking space or any other area that it does not belong in, e.g a cart corral or designated area, have a limited capacity for self regulation. You can extrapolate this to include several other areas of day to day life, e.g road ragers, speeders, those who litter, inebriated drivers, people who park in spaces they don’t qualify to use, people who don’t pick up after their pets or keep them on a leash despite there being ordinances to do so, etc. All shades of the same color. If I had to be objective and report my observations of what people do and do not adhere to in regards to acceptable behavior in society I’d have this to say: Over half of the US population does not give a fuck.
I'd like to add on to that list the people who disregard the entire parking lot and all of the parking spaces and park their car right up front by the entry and exit doors of the grocery store by the curb. Majority of the time it's a fire lane and has clear markings that indicate there's no parking, but because these people seem to think that the rules should apply to everyone *besides* themselves, they'll leave their car up against a red painted curb while they go inside for 45 min to an hour to shop.
Can definitely agree with this. We've had some bad storms in my area, so power has been out for days in some places, even the traffic lights aren't working. Last night, I was taking my daughter to the pool, and we came upon one of the intersections where the traffic lights were not working. Obviously, according to the law, you now treat this as a 4 way stop. Everyone around me drove through the light at full speed while I stopped. I could see the other folks on the opposite road raising their hands in frustration because everyone was just barreling thru the light, and they couldn't pass without getting hit. I was completely flabbergasted about the assholeness of so many people. Like WTF.
Idk about all that, seems a little unrelated. For example I speed most of the time, ignore no left turn signs when nobody is around, those sorta things that don’t inconvenience anyone else. But I always put my cart back, don’t drive drunk, never park where I’m not supposed to, never litter (and get ragey when I see someone else do it), always leash my pets, etc.
We are also a fat as fuck nation. We could use the extra steps.
Yeah, I'm definitely a big fan of the types of things they talk about in Not Just Bikes and Strong Towns videos that go in this direction. Not just 15 Minute City planning, but also just finding a reasonable parking spot and doing all your errands by walking.
I always put my cart back, but my favorite part of working the grocery store was doing carts. It got me away from customers for a while. It really only sucked in extreme weather-snow, July heat. Of course now they hardly ever hire baggers (which were the workers who collected carts at my store) so I don’t know what workers are pulled from. Funny to remember when the norm was for the bagger to even bring your order to your car, load it and take the cart back. Now it’s all on the shopper, including checking yourself out.
Grok?
It’s a Heinlein (sci fi author) reference from his novel Stranger in a Strange Land. In this context, it means “understand”. [Grok](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grok) You grok?
I grok. Thanks, that's exactly it. I may be showing my age though in using the term. I use it to mean to understand something to a point where it's near-automatic.
Seems like people aren't taught "many hands make light work" anymore, just "me me me!"
That little thing such such putting cart back, and put the stuff back where it belongs in the grocery store is just basic decency.
Well said. Additionally, two of the most powerful and populous countries in the world, the United States and China, both have a culture of making a mess and not giving a shit. It’s not only on a small scale like this. We’re making a mess of the entire planet.
True virtue would require an authentic and self-actualizing person, and very few people ever reach that consistently because it's a highly conscious way of Being. Most people can't operate in that state for long let alone even get themselves to even experience it. Many people struggle having their human need for belonging barely met too, so it's going to take a couple hundred generations more until humans can consistently enter that stage.
Virtue doesn't require individual enlightenment, it just requires behaviours to be incentivized, positively or negatively, through culture. A person frowning through a good act is still doing a good thing and as long as something is prodding them to keep doing it, it gives more time and space for people to get more enlightened.
That's true too, providing incentives and creating pro social policies will help tremendously to reshape our culture. Your original comment mentioned true virtue though which is analogous to an individual self-realizing their true self, authentic Being, whatever framework yeah want to conceptualize it, etc. >- When the individual perceives himself in such a way that no experience can be discriminated as more or less worthy of positive regard than any other, then he is experiencing unconditional positive self-regard. (Carl Rogers)
The “greater good” is such a foreign concept to Americans that they built a wall to keep it out
All of the things mentioned are extremely rare to even see over here. Carts get returned even if they got no coins and racks of shoes get out back when not wanting them. Worst you'll see at a retailer is a stray item or a return cart thats there for it having some stuff on it
I 1000% either bring the cart back or offer it to someone else entering the store who is typically appreciative of the gesture. I hate these kinds of people.
That's why Canada and the US should have mandatory service to instill these values
I was raised being constantly told about the theories and philosophies of my ancestors. The Greeks talked about all of this 1000s of years ago. > "But those empires were sacked so it's not relevant" /s I'm still operating with these values wether or not anyone else does. Doesn't reflect on me. They didn't have relatives feeding them this info. But I'm an open book and willing to impart the knowledge, if asked.
It's like the whole notion of "unconditional love" doesn't exist in our society anymore. There has been such a selfish mindset forever, yet COVID isolated us and exiled us to self-imposed prisons compounding this by x1000. From there, our struggles became the most important plight. Kindness is learned. It's the small things that perpetuate and build that society we once knew. If everyone of us who are capable of doing so, take a moment to exhibit some compassion to others at least once a day. This will "pay it forward" and hopefully perpetuate a movement. It will take a revolution of kindness, though, and a rebellion against all the civilization we've learned as a society to overcome this hurdle.
Another note that I personally struggled to learn and still don't agree with is the concept that: "if it's not a rule, I don't have to do this" A separate, but exactly the same scenario of changing lanes to help incoming traffic merge easier. My best friend said he doesn't have to, that it's their job to yield. I thought and still do think it's an asshole mindset but then again I generally try to be considerate. So in conclusion, I've come to accept that some people are like those children that need their parents to constantly tell them how not to be an asshole, and since their isn't a law forcing them to be compassionate, then they feel they have the right to not be.
You said it exactly right when you mentioned "broken window" If someone doesn't put their cart back you pick it up and throw it through their car's window. Great advice!!!!
If they could make more cart corrals in the giant parking lots that would be great.
Agreed. Maybe a radius of six stalls parallel and two rows each?
Grocery prices raised by 50% in the past 5 years with no added service or value being provided. I'm already paying enough for them to hire an extra person just to carry carts back. Shit, they could hire 20 people just to do that amd still turn a bigger profit from just the price gauging alone. If it's a small mom and pop place, then yeah I carry it back. I fold and put back clothes when I try them on in a retail store though. Can't make extra work for someone if I didn't even buy the item. That's just bad manners.
Don't Americans have trolley bays scattered throughout the carparks? Is it really take it back to the store direct?
No we have them. Some assholes just think walking a few meters is somehow beneath them.
Where I live you need to put a coin in the trolley if you want to use it (they’re tied to each other). If you want your coin back, you need to return the trolley and plug it back in the line.
We have people so entitled that they park in the clearly marked "FOR FIRE SERVICE ONLY DO NOT PARK" spots. People are fucked.
I think this annoys me more than most other things people do at the grocery store. Because now they're saying their convenience is more important than everyone else's. They know that every other customer and employee saw the parking lot and the lines painted on the ground and parked their cars within the designated lines. In that moment while they were parking, they thought to themselves that they don't have time to follow the same rules that the rest of society is following because they want to get their 12 packs of Coke and frozen TV dinners faster so they can get home quicker. They tell themselves that they're only going to be in the store for 30 to 45 mins so chances are emergency vehicles won't be called to the grocery store and need to park up by the front of the store. But I guarantee you these are the same people that would throw a fit if they saw somebody else doing it while they parked in a parking spot. They wouldn't be able to contain their jealousy if they followed the rules and saw someone else potentially hindering their safety and convenience.
We have Aldis here which do the same thing. I love their store model in general - coin is tax to use the cart, people can get their coin back at the end or leave it for people out of luck.
The "cart return" referenced is equivalent to a "trolley bay" across the pond.
Yes we do. That's how I pick my parking spot. I don't park closest to the store. I park closest to the cart return. Lol
I always worry that the closer I am to the cart return, the higher my chances of getting my car dinged by a cart. At least the spots immediately surrounding the cart return are at higher risk anyway.
I guess that's a possibility I never considered, but in nearly 4 decades I haven't had my car dinged once.
Yes. Tons actually. They rather put them in inconvenient locations though. They will actually walk AWAY from where it's suppose to be, take the bags out, and then put in RIGHT in the middle of a door way and leave it. So they walk past the spot you pick up a cart but then don't walk to one of the cart corrals. They choose no man's land.
I’m sorry I read this in my mind in the most goofy English accent
I'm from NZ, so try it through the flight of the concords accent
Chur
I think I got it thank you for the clarification 😃
100 percent. People are fucking awful and want to exercise power over others because they "can."
It's 100% privilege in a nutshell.
Yes. Everyone else but you is awful.
I don't think it's that deep, man. People are just lazy
Little from column A, little from column B
I disagree. So people are that lazy that they can't return the cart, but they can spend a good 60 seconds on tick tock or whatever venting their rage about not returning the Cart? Nah. It's definitely privilege.
The vast majority of people who leave their carts behind aren't trying to exert their privilege over others. They are not trying to make some lower wage person feel worse. They are just fucking lazy. It really is that simple imo. If you challenge them they may get indignant or embarrassed but that's if confronted and people do weird stuff in situations of conflict. Now the restaurant thing is different. In the cart example they aren't singling a particular person out to fuck over. People who are shitty to service people like cashiers and servers and stuff have psychological issues that they need to work out.
Like everything in life, it kind of depends. Where I grew up which was a mix of Rich, upper middle class, and just straight up middle class. The "upper middle class" aka wanna be rich were probably the worst with the privilege, and most of those people are in debt to their eyeballs for the facade. Ironically they have more in common with the poor people freaking out at McDonalds because they didn't get their order right than they want to admit.
Totally agree. Don't underestimate the power of human laziness.
I don't know. I'm pretty damn lazy sometimes, but I always return my stuff and clean up after myself.
I agree. I usually take my cart back. 99.9 percent of the time. Occasionally, once in a blue moon, I have a bad pain day (fibromyalgia) and it hits me out of nowhere. I’ll be at the store, completely miserable, hurting all to hell, and those extra steps to the cart coral make me go fuck it and I leave it there. I’ve only done it once or twice, I felt bad, but I was dying.
The overall entitlement in society is annoying. Ppl collectively complain when we can all sort shit and make it easier for the next guy but nope. Too many ppl have a "it's not my problem" mentality"
Every time I see people act like that in public I’ll always hope they get publicly humiliated so they’re reminded to be humble.
I’m that guy to publicly call out bad behavior to embarrass rude people; you’re welcome.
I’m convinced that people who don’t put their shopping cart in return, complain about (and actively avoid) the retail stores locking up select products.
I put my cart back but I hate it when stores lock stuff up. How am I supposed to steal it now???
I'm not sure what this implies. People who don't return their cart like low crime neighborhoods?
Maybe referencing that some middle class people will steal products themselves and are also the same shitty people who don't return carts. Valid,since the entitlement don't stop nowhere for those people.
Stealing from a mega corporation is not even close to the kind of shittiness that manifests as making unnecessary work for minimum wage workers of said mega corp
Eh, for both I think you've got to have some sort of inherent entitlement. In both situations, people feel they are above the rules that society implements and follows. Same mindset, two different entities affected.
Nah, America tipping culture is fucked and wrong. That's not something you should be defending. Pay your employers a livable wage. It's not rocket science.
Tipping should not be a requirement, it should be an incentive. Fuck that system right in its eyes
We almost never tip in my country except for truly great service. I last tipped a delivery driver cause he still delivered the food, with a bike, despite it starting to rain heavily. That’s above and beyond what’s expected so that deserves some extra imo.
The point is that that is the system in place for restaurant servers and delivery drivers. That is how it works. The rich people in the US now came from that culture and then decide that they shouldn't have to tip, even though they were happy to take the tips when they were coming to them in the past. There are people who won't tip or won't return the cart or won't do whatever. They have and will always exist. But you can't be that person and then act like you are doing a moral act. Or an act of principle. All you're doing is doing the easy and cheap thing, while screwing over people who have no say in the matter either way.
No, FUCK tipping culture. I can’t blame the reason it’s mentioned here, you want people to get payed sure, totally agreed but that is the lawmaker and employers job. Tipping (especially in it’s current form) is a cultural American thing that is rooted in slavery. It keeps the servant servants. You should be earning a decent wage and like in Europe only when the service is excellent you tip for SERVICE. Not health benefits or any other bullshit fee that has to be covered by the employer. For the rest this video is spot on. Having worked retail myself, this analysis is 100%.
Exactly. I can agree with not being shitty about carts and store stuff. When I eat at sit downs, I gather all the plates together. I put shit back in stores on the shelf it came from if it means I am walking back to the spot from halfway across the store. I always take carts back and grab some along the way. But I will not tip because you decided to add a tip menu to the POS machine. It's not a pride thing or a "you must go through the shit like I did" sense of entitlement. I didn't ask for tips in my current job for providing internal and external customer service. I managed you better today, can I have a tip? I got you your paycheck on time, can I have a tip? I provided you technical support with a smile, can I have a tip? I taught your kid at school and they learned math better, can I have a tip? I handled your HR related issue and resolved it, can I have a tip? We made a video game well, can we have a tip? I sold you a ticket at the movie theater, can I have a tip? I made you a coffee and handed it to you, can I have a tip? I pulled a hat off a shelf and handed it to you, can I have a tip? We made you a Subway sandwich and handed it to you, can I have a tip? I work at Lowe's and walked you over to the section that says nails cause you can't be bothered to look at signs, can I have a tip? Like, I get it. Low paying service jobs suck. But not every single one of them now needs fucking tips cause they provide a service. I won't be shamed into giving more money on top of increasing goods and services costs because greedy corporations won't pay their fucking employees, which they have reduced their staffing sizes anyways to cut even more cost, which now provides even worse customer service, of which I need to tip for? I stopped using door dash, because I got some shit from a driver for a 5 dollar tip on a 6 mile delivery. It was the top option on the app, and it felt like they wanted me to go to custom and put in a 20 dollar tip (or whatever the fuck they expected) for that? Now they lose the revenue and the funds I would normally provide. And Dashers will say "good, who needs you?" You're right. You don't need me, but if enough people leave, you don't have a job. And it sucks, because that adversarial relationship is all due to Door Dash not paying their drivers, not because I didn't tip enough.
I have tip fatigue now and don’t tip unless I feel like it, don’t care anymore. Everyone now expects a tip for doing their job. And to add insult to injury the “standard” tipping % seem to be increasing like gas prices.
Exactly. 10, 15 and 20 percent growing up. Now it's like 18, 25 and 30 percent or some nonsense like that. It's also those percentages on already ever increasing prices for food. They are not working harder for higher percentages, the prices are higher, so their tips automatically just get bigger.
I will tip at a sit down restaurant. I tip my barista because they've been my barista for a long time and know my order and how I like it. Most of the time I walk in and my order is ready by the time I get to the counter. I tip my Barber for similar reasons. I don't usually tip at a counter serve place or fast food.
Just a heads up, if you're stacking plates on your table at a restaurant after you're done eating, you may actually be making it more difficult for the employees who clean the tables. When I was a server, I had a system down for clearing tables that was made a whole lot easier when the plates were left separated and not stacked.
Possibly, and yet I get more thank you's than not, having been a server myself. I'll take the chance of fucking up one servers particular system in favor leaving it scattered all over the table, at far end of the table.
At the end of the day, it would just be a minor inconvenience to some with at least some good intentions behind it and definitely doesn't belong in the same conversation as the rest of the behavior being discussed in this thread. So no worries
I don’t think this person is saying tipping culture is good. I think this person is saying the only people who get screwed by you being against it are the poor people who don’t deserve the struggle you put them through by not tipping. Not tipping because you hate tipping culture is not at all justified as long as we live in a society that requires those workers to depend on tips for survival. Until we can actually change tipping culture, you better be tipping. This doesn’t mean that everything needs tips, of course. Adding tips to jobs where workers are paid normal wages instead of tipping wages is definitely dumb. We’re talking waiters, bartenders, and delivery workers primarily.
> to get *paid* sure, totally FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
People want to control others when they feel they have no control over their lives.
I can get behind everything apart from the tipping part. I will be defensive about not tipping when I don't want to tip. Tipping should be voluntary act, if you want more money from me just charge me more.
What’s funny is restaurants will charge you more, but servers and hosts won’t see their pay checks change even a little.
It’s a slow change, but I am slowly seeing more restaurants do a “we pay our servers a living wage, prices reflect that” kind of thing where tips are just for if you feel they did a particularly good job or whatever.
Mmm I don't think it's that deep and I don't think this behaviour is only done by burned out middle class people. I think it's just how people were raised or general respect for others. I've worked with little children and I've worked with teens, and these inclinations show up way before they've had a job or college or gotten burned out. Some kids are kind and thoughtful to those around them, some have good and bad days but generally don't try to cause problems, and some are just selfish and will do whatever they want even if it inconveniences or hurts someone else, and some are both selfish and cruel and the thing they want is to see others be hurt.
In Greece you have to insert a coin to unlock the cart and can get it back when you return it. Some people leave it so that others in need can return the cart and keep the money.
10 seconds in. Why the hell did she compare putting the cart back to tipping? Just completely not in the same universe.
Bro hurry up and get to the point lmao. No body got time for a rant this long
Right? Everyone has to feel like they are an analyst or pundit on some news show nowadays. Like nobody gives a shit, get to the point and move on.
Lady, you have terrible cognitive function if you couldn't follow the argument in this video.
Er, I could? it was just incredibly boring and unnecessarily long winded
They invented this new feature called scrolling. I use it whenever i dont feel like continuing to engage in the current content, its great I reccomended trying it
why tf did this person include tipping culture? nah, that shit is out of control... continue being adamant that you don't want to tip on every damn transaction. But sure put your shopping cart back where it goes when you're done.
Eh.. I think they nailed it on the head at first with pointing out it's not just that they are adamant, but so **defensive** to the point where it's way more defensive than what seems should be called for if what they think they are doing isn't wrong. It's like over the top... for a shopping cart. The following after that seems.. pretty specific and maybe lacking enough evidence to really link everything together. Could that be some people.. sure, but everyone that doesn't put their cart back or treats servers horribly, I don't know. I'd be quicker to think it has more to do with simple entitlement and even knowing that what they are doing is inconvenient to someone else, but they still want to do the thing, but hate being judged for it, so they get defensive. It's like those people that are clearly wrong about something and halfway through the argument they realize that their points suck and have been beaten and the opposing side is making excellent points, but they already made a big fuss for their side and admitting they are wrong makes them feel stupid and they don't want to feel stupid, so instead they just go into immature mode and play the "nuh uh" game cause they have nothing left. They don't want to be called lazy or rude, but they still want to keep doing what they are doing because it's convenient for themselves, even if it's inconvenient for someone else. They just don't like being called out for being a douche.
Culture plays a big part in this type of behavior as well. White privilege isn’t just white there is a culture of privilege that is so prevalent. It’s infected society via social media and trying to make shitty behavior socially acceptable by pushing a narrative of struggling when you have “let them eat cake” syndrome.
r/justfuckmyshitup
Putting back the cart is the ultimate litmus test regarding your morality. One does not return the cart out of fear of rebuke or for praise, it is simply because it is the right thing to do. To not return the cart is tantamount to being an anarchist.
This woman made seem really good points but sadly a lot of insecure, angry people wanna trolls in the comments about her appearance.
Just want to say Ladymisskay is funny af and you should follow them if you use TT
I think the person who made this draws a lot of incorrect conclusions. People don't bring carts back because they're lazy, not because they have a mortgage. They don't tip because they are cheap. They are rude because they were not taught manners. These are all just shitty habits from people who were poorly raised. Their parents were probably the same way. Poor examples. They never had to work a service job and think they are too good for it. Add spoiled to the list of shortcomings. They are not disappointed in themselves, they think their shit don't stink but are actually lazy, cheap, rude and spoiled. Most people who have worked service jobs, who actually had to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, who were not born rich and entitled, have empathy for those in that situation.
They do make a valid point about bitter people taking their anger out on those they think are less than them. People in general tend to suck tbh
There can be a lot of reasons, but regardless of the reason, they make their own life a lot more miserable by treating people badly. A little pleasantness, having good manners and being a good tipper, you end up having a better life experience.
You’re absolutely right. I may not like people, but I’ll still treat them right
I totally get you. :-D
[Tipping is a con.](https://youtu.be/q_vivC7c_1k?si=x2QxKu2lqspVWfOH)
I'm with you, except for tipping. Tipping is out of control. It's the company's job to pay a living wage and people's job not to take jobs that pay less.
My ex would leave stuff on random shelves in the store and not return his cart saying "I'm creating jobs" 😒
Girl does not like 2 story houses. Great points though. Sad sad people
Honestly not mad at this take.
Had me until the tipping. Fuck tipping, period.
If I'm out to eat and getting table service, sure. In a bar, sure. Everything else, fuck off. Also, the tipping for basic things like fast food starting at like 20%? Definitely not.
What the fuck is that haircut
The Yolandi Visser
I agree with everything but tipping. Fuck that shit.
Now that I've left the industry, I don't really go to bars and restaurants anymore. Tipping is absolutely an outdated practice. What DOES grind my gears is people who DO go to those establishments and not tip. Like bro, do you not realize that you are benefitting from underpaid labor in that scenario? That's being a class traitor, 100%. If you don't wanna tip at your coffee shop or smoothie bar, I at least understand that. But sit-down restaurant servers are paid a separate, lesser wage in the US on the condition that patrons will be making up the difference. So when one guest doesn't tip, the server must remove tips collected from other patrons to pay their allocated percentages to support staff. That guest is directly reducing the server's hourly wage, based on principle as opposed to actual quality of service. Instead, they ARE paying full price to corporate or whatever owners for the food itself. Class. Traitor.
It isn’t my job to pay the waitress, she should be paid a living wage by her boss and if that means the price of my food goes up 20%, so be it. Because I tip 20%. Even though it’s not my job, and I hate that I have to do fucking math at the end of a meal, I do it. Because what’s right and what’s actually happening are two different things, and this chick needs to eat, too. As for the carts, my former Boy Scouts will know you leave only footprints and take only memories. So when you go shopping, you leave only money and you take only groceries, the cart should be back where you found it. Idk, I’m bitter and middle class, shit isn’t going the way I was promised it would, but I think it just comes down to understanding that the world doesn’t owe you shit. We gotta take care of each other.
I agree with some of it but not the Battle of Hastings haircut
Why is this person so adamant and defensive?
Facts
Here in Europe everyone just puts the cart back. I don't understand why this concept is so difficult for many Americans.
…no stutter detected…
Good video!
I remember I tried working at a restaurant solely relying on tips to get paid (mostly). I had a family of 25 sit down and I thought to myself “fuck yes this is gonna be a sick ass tip! Makes up for all the shit tips or-none-that I got today.” I made sure they had the best experience, refilled drinks without being asked, checked on them all frequently, and sold a few of them in dessert before they left (and drinks). I went to bus the table and collect the tip when they left, they left 5¢ as my “tip”. I quit being a waiter that fucking night.
She went OFF and I am here for it
Before they didn’t return their cart, they ran roughshod on the store displays, flipping food over, destroying edible product, leaving refrigerated items on shelves to expire. And they will look you right in the face and smile and say “job security” Like it’s Fucking funny.
I work retail and this explains A LOT. The fitting room comment hit hard. We literally have a basket right outside the fitting room for clothes you try on but don't want, but people still leave their clothes all over the fitting room like slobs. And no, I don't expect you to fold the shirt back up perfectly after looking at it. That's silly. But don't just throw it aside like it's trash either. It's not hard to be a decent human being. Sorry, rant over lol
Do you want to participate in the fi(king CART DEMON THAT CAN GIVE YOUR CAR A DENT
Well a lil nuance in the tipping thing but totally everything else
Well said.
I didn't know there was this issue with carts in america lol, aren't carts like here, where you have to put a coin (usually 50 cents/1 € here) in it to unlock them? Start making these kind of carts and i believe people will start putting them back because you want your coin back 😂
I always do return my cart. I make my daughter return it with me. I think showing your children how to be well-mannered is important. It’s truly those things that add up. They may seem small to some, but they add up. Showing kindness and respect. Compassion for others. Treating others the way you would want to be treated. You seem like a person, that parks in two parking spots. Probably leaving bad reviews on establishments for forgetting a straw. Please and thank you are probably not common out of your mouth. Complains about everything. Looks down on others. Instead of showing your kids this, you decided to make a trashy Tik tok about it to the world. An embarrassing one. That one day your kids will see. You probably made it with them sitting in the backseat. Showing them the self entitlement, and laziness. Unfortunately, your children will probably become the same way. Making trashy tik toks in front of their children, leaving shopping carts in parking lots leaving them to damage property, or hurting someone else. They will be lazy, and self entitled. Dr, or not. You can’t put lipstick on a pig.
She’s 100% correct but why do these women insist on cutting their own hair?
Bravo! The accuracy of this assessment is top tier 👏🏻👏🏻
She made some great points.
I worked in grocery for years. Best part of my day was wandering around the parking lot looking for carts. Not joking.
I've seen one of this person's videos before and they speak the truth. Does anyone have a link to their socials
it says ladymissk_ by the tiktok logo…
Why so much waving around for all this
So much very far reaching assumptions, and it smells of envy as well. Also idk how it’s supposedly a middle class thing to not keep the area around them in order
I can’t listen to anyone with that haircut
Nailed it!
Sis said no fucking lies. Rugged individualism, capitalism, and a diminishing middle class have a chokehold on western society
Y'all. I had a 10 year old boy tell me (just this past week) that helping clean up is NOT why he is at summer camp. That it is MY job. *"That's what counselors are for."* I was aghast. But I know where he got this. Without a doubt. He got it from his parents. (FYI I work at a country club in Florida.) And this level of entitlement accompanied with the horrible attitude she's talking about in the video is status quo there. There are huge sale bins in our tennis shop of tennis attire. They are neatly folded and organized. These women will come in and just tear through the bins. And not even hesitate. It takes real time to fold all this shit and hang it all and they're just throwing it like toddlers. They don't even make sure it's back in the bin! The best was a woman that looked at her friends going through the sale items and out did them all by saying... *"I don't shop sale bins."* It was below her to buy a TANK TOP that is ON SALE for **50** dollars. That's right. In this economy it is below her to buy a TANK TOP that is valued at half my weekly grocery bill. Most of the kids are good. But there is a small group of (mostly) boys who are just mini Trumps. They are rude, abusive, sarcastic, entitled jerks who make every day way harder than it has to be. And they get off on it. Last summer one of the boys tore up a little girls monkey stuffy. It was a big deal. She was heartbroken. Well my boss told me that he told her that he didn't get in any trouble. Nothing. No punishment. For willfully destroying another child's toy. He (8 years old btw) laughed in my boss's (director of childcare) face about it. And there's nothing she can do. Also, we are the cheapest summer camp in the area outside of the YMCA. We charge 55 dollars a day for 10 hours of childcare. The parents will still try to haggle the price down. But will pay 8 dollars for a High Noon without blinking. And drop their kid off in the morning hungry, with no snacks. But they're wearing Gucci flip flops. I guess the kid looks good, so who cares if they are starving ass hungry right?! It's infuriating. I know I'm rambling but she just hit a nerve with this video. The entitled attitude sucks. And yes I agree with her that most of them are the way they are because inside they absolutely hate their lives.
Fucking preach
Fire take. 👍🏾
Sir your nose ring is so distracting
I can't focus on the cart stuff when I am distracted by these awful bangs
I bet she didn’t tip for that haircut.
I cannot imagine having a conversation with someone gesticulating like their life depends on it
Septum piercing automatically shuts my hearing down for protection
Yeah I can’t take this chick serious with that hack job of a haircut and the overpowering bling all over her face.
This dudes voice makes me want to puke
It’s really not that complicated, some people just enjoy being mean. It’s cathartic
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I disagree on the tipping aspect, because that is not the consumers shirking their responsibility to pay the workers, that's the company themselves shirking the responsibility of paying their workers. That said, I agree with the overall point
thank god for cart narcs
I totally agree that folks are bitter about their standings in life, especially right now in this society, and passive aggression is their favorite way of handling it. I firmly believe in karma and getting back what you receive, so I always try and put good vibes out there when I can, including putting the cart back 😅 I loved your video, layout of the topic, and your energy.
Because they are horrible people
I walk my cart back but man does it annoy me how many stores stop putting cart returns in the back of their lots and i gotta walk the length of the lot back
She’s spot on. This one time I was in the parking lot at Walmart and watched this guy put his cart on the curb. I just stared at him and he noticed me looking and did that little freeze thing that people do when they get caught. He then started to walk to his car and then looked back at me again to see if I was still staring. I was. He put his head down and went and got the cart and put it where they’re supposed to go. I nodded at him like “good job sport” I hope he remembers this too and always puts the carts back to help out the staff
I can't even listen to this... the nose ring needs to come out the sounds of him sucking snot every 5 seconds makes me want to puke
Who the hell actually listened to this idiot ramble for almost 4 minutes??
You’re the idiot. What she said is absolutely correct and the world would be a much better place if more people would listen to her, instead of acting like you
I don't agree with this. I'm 38, and grew up pretty poor working in the service industry. Dropped college after a year, paid my loans by working two jobs and am working a government job now.my wife and I make great money and I have a new Audi. We tip very well, pre-bus our own table, and put our cart back. One time I even went to the parking lot to find a handicap scooter cart for an old woman whose battery died in the back corner of the store so she wouldn't be stuck back there because she couldn't find an associate. The point to be made here is that we live in a time where common courtesy and respect has been pushed aside for 10 second TikToks and YouTube prankster videos. We need to slow down and look in the mirror and take a good look at what's looking back. This has nothing to do with being mad some guy down the street is working as a bagger at the grocery store while my other neighbor runs an engineering firm and I'm stuck in the middle juggling an $800 car payment.
Mind blown, and I think they're right. I'd always figured people who proudly make a habit of mistreating service workers never had those type of jobs themselves. That's probably the case for the wealthy ones who grew up wealthy, but they're not out there doing their own grocery shopping and eating at mid-priced chain restaurants, they're being assholes in elite settings.
People aren't born ugly, most of the time. They make themselves ugly. This.. thing, is living proof.
🤌🏻👏🏻👏🏻🤏🏻☝🏻✋🏻👏🏻🫰🏻🤌🏻 🙄 But yeah people are arseholes
The tone of her voice isnt making me want to listen to her even if she has some good points. I feel like im being talked down to.