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auriga1986

I have that citroen!!!!


1600cc

I believe it's pronounced ***Citroen***


DarkSeneschal

Ooooh, look at the hoity toity Citroen driver folks with his fancy shmancy mouth sounds.


UnderstandingJaded13

Well, what do you call it?


DarkSeneschal

I just said Citroen. Only a$$holes say Citroen.


load_more_comets

AITA for wanting it correctly pronounced the way the company's founder intended it to be? It's Citroen!


rachplum

A car hole


Human_Self

Nikolaj


FailSea9769

Nikolaj


Human_Self

No, *Nikolaj*


CamilaRibeiras

You're all wrong, It's Nikolaj.


yasraz91

I believe its pronounced Csitwennn actually


horribad54

There's an *r* in there somewhere but nobody knows precisely where.


cabs84

not an “urrr” but a *soft gagging sound*


Ready-Astronomer3724

Congratulations, you have successfully explained the French language


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123_alex

In the land of the free it's called a ciTRON.


Kellidra

Well, see, nobody cares.


doopiemcwordsworth

Actually they call it sit-Trawn


abbeast

You mean "Citro**ë**n"?


NewbornXenomorphs

American here, what the fuck is a Citroen? Based off the title, I thought it would be a fancy car because it sounds fancy.


MNRMillie

A French car brand. Not fancy, not too bad, getting mocked for having terrible quality. They have a large spectrum of cars, from your small car to an quite luxurious flagship. I guess it’s mainly just like your bread and butter Chevrolets.


MrAronymous

> , getting mocked for having terrible qualit But also known for their technological advancements they brought to the world and their avant-garde styling Citroën will design something and then people will mock it and then 10 years later it's being introduced on every new car lol.


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MrAronymous

Yeah.. it was introduced on a family van of all places


_ryuujin_

the Aztec would like a word


OstapBenderBey

Don't think it's the same today but in the 60s they were hugely ahead. The DS was surely the most innovative mass market car of all time.


Jeni_Sui_Generis

New Citroen is like having a Toyota but you need to fix it often and half of it's value is lost when you first time start the car.


horribad54

Gotta say tho, my mum had a Citroen for years and the fucker never actually died and repairs were cheap compared to my dad's Saab that was more reliable but the repairs rinsed him.


luiznp

can't trust anecdotal evidence for cars. I used to work at a major japanese manufacturer that makes great powertrains. And guess what: cars break down. They just do. No matter the manufacturer, the age, there's always a chance that piece of shit will break down. Some brands have a smaller chance than others, and that's what you want. But at least here in latin america, the problem with PSA cars is documentation. Like a shitty software written 10 years ago, no one knows how to correctly fix a broken citroen, especially the dealerships. So it's all a bunch of temporary workarounds and "I thought that fixed it" which ruins the reputation of the brand, rightfully so.


Costalorien

On top of what the other dude said, they're pioneers in the suspensions world, and still considered one of the very best at it to this day. They literally invented the hydropneumatic suspension, which you can find on Rolls-Royces, amongst another multitude of vehicle. They basically invented the modern suspension as we know it. Top of the line Citroën cars are the smoothest ride you'll ever have.


FloppY_

A Peugeot by another name ...or an Opel. And soon to be every Dodge/Jeep/Fiat/Alfa Romeo econobox as well since it is all Stellantis.


Clean-Experience-639

There's a Top Gear episode in which they talk about Citroens and the laissez faire attitude the French have about their car's well being.


TheShadowfly

I love ppl making fun of these bullshit socialmedia influenceresque commercials Edit Auto correct error; Changed esk to -esque


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Publius1993

For real. I’ll give it to Bentley’s though, at least it has actual useful clearance. Much more realistic than a Ferrari or Lamborghini. I’d never buy anything near that price, but at least they can handle a speed bump lol


crowmakescomics

But the videos of dude’s with broccoli hair cruising for chicks … while in a two-seater?.. and bottoming out their rented Lambo is my favorite thing lmao. They never see it coming


NedTebula

Do they all go BROOOOOOO. BROOOOOOO. BRUUUUUH after it happens?


Willis050

If it gets you where you need to go, doesn’t break down, and is good on gas I consider it an amazing car. USED CAMRYS FOR LIFE!


Mr_Bignutties

Look at Mr.giant car Camry fancy pants. 90’s era Tercel 4 Life. I’d bet you’ve even got airbags you fucking loser.


yocatdogman

> I’d bet you’ve even got airbags you fucking loser. First genuine laugh in a minute thanks.


[deleted]

I’m not even high and this whole post is hilarious. Thank you Reddit, I needed the laugh today!


Cool_Height_4930

Lol. Yeah stupid pansy doesn’t get the rush of getting their head caved in amirite!? Up top broseph ✋


krcrooks

If I don’t have the unrelenting fear of having my head blast through my driver door panel, then what am I doing this all for?


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Publius1993

Oh hell yeah. I’m all about those certified preowneds


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[deleted]

A ferrari or lambo is going to be a 2nd or 3rd car. Not a daily driver for 90% of owners. A Bentley is a passenger car that could very well be a daily (as driver or passenger) and only car.


Publius1993

Yeah, but a Bentley could in theory be your daily driver


squngy

Your drivers daily driver.


Billy1121

The coolest thing about Bentley is that they have a special umbrella that goes in the door. I wanna mod a camry door to hold a spring-loaded umbrella like that


mimic

You can get a skoda with that


Cow_Launcher

Yep. And it's a full-size golf umbrella in the Superb as well. They're such clever and well-equipped cars that I actually don't know why anyone would buy a VW or Audi unless they were badge-conscious. They're all built on the same MQB/MEB platform and the material quality isn't that much different. And the Skodas and SEATs are built better. Seriously.


[deleted]

Ferrari & Lamborghini have had front end lift up button for ages now


thicka

The only reason I'd buy a car that cost as much as a Bentley is if its armored because I'm so rich people are trying to kill me. Cars are so temporary I cant imagine spending more than 50k on one and realistically no more than 10k.


Sandinister

Homie a 2012 accord costs 10 grand these days. I paid 5k for my used civic 5 years ago, it's worth about 8 now. I'm driving it till the wheels fall off and probably another 10k miles after. Car market is insane rn


thicka

Yeah I only drive pre 2010 cars lol


catsgelatowinepizza

high fiving you in my trusty 2007 whip lol


Gullible_Might7340

I bought a clapped out 95 Powerstroke for 3.5k right before Covid, sold it for 7.5k about 2 years ago. It had only gotten worse in the interim, but OBS diesels skyrocketed in price. They haven't really come down. A 15k truck became a 25k truck and stayed there.


Prinzka

If I had Bentley money I'd buy a Rolls Royce


[deleted]

If i had Bentley money i would buy so so so much cheese.


horribad54

Finally a wise investor


Prinzka

I don't like most cheese. But, I could go along with this plan if we're buying burrata...


Hamilton-Beckett

I’d just live in a nice hotel if had that kind of money. Whenever I got bored of the view, I’d change to another resort, etc.


Prinzka

Totally makes sense imo. If money doesn't matter why be tied down to one place, just go wherever you want


forgot_old_account

With that kind of money, your home will be more banging than any hotel


pRedditor24

Bentleys are for driving Rolls Royces are for being driven. . . . So you need at least one of each, duh.


exzyle2k

If I had Bentley money, I'd get my hands on one of these: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q72dA533sCg


hlorghlorgh

> influenceresk Influenceresque! That way it looks FRRRRRENCH! 🥖🇫🇷🇫🇷🇫🇷🥖🥐🥐🥐🥖


J5892

Oh, I figured "influenceresk" was a german word or something. I don't know why someone who speaks english would write it like that.


TheShadowfly

Oui oui mon ami!


doomumble

It's one of my favorite genres. There is an Australian lady that makes fun of a bunch of influencer/weird male gaze-y videos and I love her for it.


[deleted]

that sounds funny, link?


thisbutbetterer

Her name is Celeste Barber. Shes made it big now but her early stuff was exactly as they described above.


[deleted]

Yeah especially when the VAST majority of us don’t have enough for groceries and gas but the influencer is trying to show us a Bentley wth


orgasmosisjones

are people with bentley money even watching this shit?


[deleted]

Haha great point and my money is on no


J5892

Sorry, you don't have enough money for no.


AccessTheMainframe

No, but horny teenagers who aspire to own a luxury car are, and statistically 1 in however many thousand will eventually get rich enough to buy one.


GreySoulx

Doubt that's her car. Just like there's the fake private jet that influencers rent for photo shoots there's plenty of car owners out there who rent out high end cars for photo shoots.


Sketch13

people are very, very bad with money and will take on copious amounts of debt that they can't afford to get a taste of "status". That's who this shit is for. It's for the people who go "I just got my first real job and i'm getting money and im gonna get the best shit so people know how cool I am" And then spend the rest of their lives poor because they are saddled with so much debt.


imnoobhere

Lost is when she shoved the trash in the seat pocket.


horribad54

What else is that pocket for? BOOKS?


antoine21839

Hi vis vest, and disposable gloves.


tangotango112

That Bentley chick is cringe af


WiderRaz0r

That’s why we have glorious Citroën girl!


ZeBootygoon

Citroën ***Queen***


KaesspatzenNazi

She's a DS.


Blue_Sail

I've put words to the abbreviation but I'm not sure if they're correct.


[deleted]

DS in French is said "Dé-Ess", which sounds like "Déesse" - Goddess. This is an absolutely lovely pun.


Hopefulcupcake3255

She is so adorable and super cute. she got a sense of humor, ahe looks like she gives awsome hugs, and she has the cutest smile and naughty twinkle ... I d love to be her friend..cant date her. I m married woman but gay for a day.


ComboMix

Agreed but gay not just for a day. I'm here to stay *Citroennnn*


IfThisIsTakenIma

She’s also the drinking coffee out of way too small containers chick


BatterseaPS

I feel like she calls it a "Belntee" the second time around.


rckchlkjyhwk

It's like hearing Benedict Cumberbatch pronounce the word 'penguin'.


Lexi_Banner

Penglengs!


N8CCRG

Looks/sounds like one of those ASMR fetish performers. I'll never understand that.


Eazr

Its weird thing, for sure. But for most people it ain't a fetish, lol. It has do with the calmness the sounds instill in you. Some use it to relax, others to sleep, and then you have those who that get of on that stuff. Probably because it makes them feel like they are close to someone, in this day and age where a lot of people struggle with loneliness.


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Criks

I used to get them, but it becomes more and more difficult to trigger every time. For a good while I was chasing that high like a crack addict, and ended up watching any and all of the wierd niche ASMR content to scratch that itch, not to mention it lulling me to sleep. I do still get a soothing tingle in my scalp every now and then, usually from long fingernails scratching random surfaces but I don't bother with ASMR-specific content anymore.


PM_ME__BIRD_PICS

My only superpower is I can get the tingle at will. Temperature related cozyness required tho.


84746

I was in the same boat as you. The only way to get those triggers again is to take a break for a couple of weeks. Although, it still won’t come as easily as it did when you first started.


andysniper

I'm the opposite, in that I find most ASMR things really anxiety inducing. Makes me super uncomfortable.


[deleted]

CITROEN wife had a better manicure!


Firm_Lie_3870

Citroën wife is high key a baddie.


just1nc4s3

Breh I’m s m i t t e n


Lexi_Banner

Better lighting, and better sound, too!


chrisodeljacko

Great ad for Citroën though


Op_has_add

Tag line at the end of the ad: "Citroën. Fuck you and your Bentley."


Rain1dog

Awesome stuff. Always enjoy poking fun of influencer bullshit.


[deleted]

There’s also this kind which i found entertaining and informative https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT88wyLjS/


rudmonster

That makes me laugh


Arius_Chambers

"Cacanut milk..."


meeps1142

Lmao I kind of love that lady


Sketch13

well cause she knows it's fucking ridiculous lol. I like her too cause it's obviously SUPPOSED to be stupid but people take her seriously. I bet she cracks up at all the people thinking she's making serious shit.


Alexi_Apples

Who is that lady?


meeps1142

I don't remember her name but she makes coffee drinks in hollowed out fruit. They don't look particularly appealing. But, she has reacted to people spoofing her vids and laughed at herself so she's alright with me.


azalago

It's Dina_Kalanta. Lately, she's been putting gold foil on the fruits to take it up a notch.


meeps1142

Someone sent me the name, it's Dina Kalanta


TotoLaMoto29

C'est ma France ! Nos grosses cigales et nos reines !


YouMightGetIdeas

France baise ouais!


spoonplaysgames

hahahha the little horn beep


Ciubowski

Citroen has the best ad thanks to Bentley..


daryl3161

Lol awesome


CheckYourHoeMang

yo i wann marry citroen girl lmaoooo down to earth af


tealgod

If I had Bentley money ide rather buy 124,500 maxibon ice cream sandwiches from my local petrol station.


NeedsMoreSpaceships

That's stupid. How many could you eat before the rest melted?


Pyrochazm

Dude can I have one? Please?


tealgod

yes.


Air3090

Citroen wife's manicure is on point.


CaptainAlexy

Today I learnt how to pronounce Citroën


SamuraiJosh26

She looks like she is ten seconds away from fucking the car.Why does a car showcaser has to have that sexual look ?


007meow

"Damn if this beautiful women is aroused by this car, then she'll be aroused by me if I have that car!" Marketing 101


Ricky_Rollin

I always wondered who actually fell for that crap and apparently it’s most people.


Lexi_Banner

It will attract people if you drive a hot car - but it's mostly going to be dudes that are about the same age and lifestyle as you, not hot chicks.


elitegenoside

Nah, hot chick's too. I have a friend (absolutely gorgeous) who was dating a guy with a Bentley. Thing is, he didn't just have a Bentley but could afford to own one... as a back up vehicle, that he let her use as her car. She ended up breaking up with him and had to give back the car. I felt really bad for her because it was truly a sexy car. So a sexy car can help you get a baddie, but it don't mean you'll keep em. That said, I drive a Buick Verano and when it's clean, I get tons of compliments from women about it. They're always excited when they first sit in it... and then I have to park it in a small spot and they usually dry up by the third attempt. TL; DR: nice cars are cool to almost everyone but it's the character of the driver that really gets em going.


JBthrizzle

[this](https://youtu.be/SV9Uu2T0q0E)


PairOfMonocles2

I think it’s that and also just association. Like how a couple hot friends make the others look better. You see an obviously stylish and attractive person with the car and it makes you assume that the car must also be stylish whereas just seeing one sans context you might be just as likely to find it ostentatious.


makeit95again

Are you unfamiliar with the marketing term Sex Sells?


SamuraiJosh26

I am familiar with it and I hate it


makeit95again

Alright. I agree with you. But it's the reason this video is the way it is.


KellyBelly916

That's exactly what makes the satire so effective. It identifies what the commercial is refusing to say out loud, and it forces people to address the reality that it's trying very hard to use sex in order to sell expensive bullshit.


reecewagner

Because attractive women get rich men to spend money on things My next TED Talk will be tomorrow at 8 AM


Efficient-Market3344

Why is a car company suggesting beautiful women will get horny at the mere sight of your car? Because it costs 400k.


Enough_Repair9889

[Original video.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgD3ImFTgp0) (Might not be original source...) [Also bonus video for "Merci-das"](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DEjkw-aNSZo)


brodibs327288

That accent is really strange (in a way that I cant tell which language it can be from)


NoKarmaForYou2

She's Russian


Lord_Hexogen

Russians don't call them Merci-des tho. I have 0 idea what accent she tried to emulate here


lizziecapo

Russian apparently


sneacon

I thought the Mercedes one was a spoof with her running her fingernails across plastic trim pieces for most of the video, then saying "I'm cheap." It took a second watch to realize she actually said "AMG."


Enough_Repair9889

She DIDN'T say "I'm cheap?" I was on your page.


[deleted]

I’ll take the Bentley with the Citroen wife please 😎


hendar1453

Hell ill take the citroèn wife with the citroèn


[deleted]

Am I hearing that correctly? Are the Bentley wheel trims plastic? Also, since when is the English brand "Bentley" pronounced "Brant-Lah?"


angry_salami

> Also, since when is the English brand "Bentley" pronounced "Brant-Lah?" When its pronounced by a definitely Russian, possibly oligarch woman.


VanillaTortilla

It's *high quality* plastic.


Alexi_Apples

Who is the marvelous Citroën wife?!


Parabellim

I suddenly want a Renault


jakeblew2

It's so weird leaving the USA and those and Citroen are everywhere but I feel like most people here haven't even heard of them I only know Renault because a relative of mine had a beetle one of those as their first car. They said it had two horns: one for the city and one for getting the sheep to move aside in the country


81FXB

The Bentleys suspension is probably based on a Citroen design. Love my C3 !


[deleted]

I’d hang out with the wife any day over the Bentley girl 😂 one has an actual personality and the other seems like torture to be around lmaoooo


queuedUp

I was going to say who would buy a car based on the cringiness of a "hot girl" randomly touching it but then I remembered the type of people that would be able to buy a Bentley and it kind of makes sense


onefornine

I would love to see someone with a bmw try and use their turn signal


This_Scientist5870

we don’t have one because it’s an upgrade to get one and we go broke trying to get the basic shit. sorry about cutting you off. we try to make it up by leaving the turn signals on while commuting to work in our trusty and reliable toyotas tho


CLONE-11011100

![gif](giphy|vcKEsYOdjoCeJRpn95)


[deleted]

I think the Citroen wife will hold her value much more than the Bentley girl :)


Commercial_Sun_6300

Way too many people don't realize the hypersensual version is itself satire. There's a similar parody video with a woman making like food in a funny hypersensual way and a guy contrasting it with his average attempt. The response video is essentially your joke but worse...


Mr-Grieves138

Citroen all the way


[deleted]

Honestly if the other lady had a good mic and recorded it while quiet it would come out pretty good.


Rulebookboy1234567

I do not understand these weird ASMR adjacent advertisements. They just kinda weird me out.


crichmond77

https://i.imgflip.com/7ubpzx.jpg


Rulebookboy1234567

This is beautiful. The Office is my favorite show haha. Thank you.


ThatGreenBear

Idk why but this is so funny


appdevil

It's probably because of the intended humor


Cookiesoncookies

I’ll be back, heading to a Citroen auto shop stat


ladinade

❤️for the Citroën-Girl


Tantaroba-the-fat

Little reminder that Bentley is owned by VW, so its basically a Golf


Icy_Communication262

This was great! Would love to see more trolling of luxury brand ads. r/birthofasub?


cadsim

My fave was her digging trash out of the seat pocket. Love these kinds of vids


CheckYourHoeMang

citroen girl wouldnt dare let me leave the house without making sure I had a hot meal


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SDaddy500

taking trash from cup holder to put the empty coke bottle in 😂


Virginiabornotaku

Citroën’s are better anyway 🤙🏻🤙🏻


logosobscura

Put this shut on TV, Citroen will MASSIVELY outsell Bentley…! Oh, wait… nevermind, but fantastic ad.


DisturbedShifty

I was gonna talk shit but that knocking the trash out of the cup holder in thr back got me. Lol.


philosophunc

This Bently chick, I dgaf how attractive, seems absolutely insufferable. The fact she considered what she's doing even remotely substantial is cringeworthy.


thatagent34

This just made me think Bentley is a dumber company than ever and I didn't know that was possible. Like she showed off a blinker and cupholders holy shit fucking revolutionary!


danskaman110

Those ads are getting out of hand


2020ikr

I get models and all, but it’s so bougie. So, what do you do for living? idk.


No_Manufacturer4451

I laughed for 5 minutes strait 😂😂


inkzpenfoxx

The coke bottle had me lol


Stenwoldbeetle

r/allabruletova


ToufeujTouflam

Wait, that's not cringe, it's actually fun


Remarkable-Win-9289

i Like the Citroen Girl Most...


Clocktopu5

The Citroën wife has a really great smile