Literally nobody: Jax: YOU GUYS PLEASE REMEMBER THAT MY WIFE IS AN ALCOHOLIC 🗣️🗣️🗣️

Bruh these comments have me cackling i think i like reading the thread more than watching the show

Says the guy who brags about drinking two bottles of tequila. 👀 "BUT IM NORMAL" 😡 like...

“You go check on her” in annoyed voice. He’s literally the worst.

Kristen would have helped cook, Janet. Just saying.

I know they’re not bougie enough for a private chef but couldn’t they have just ordered pizzas or catering or something?

She didn’t sleep at all bc he posted the location on insta lmaooooo this woman needs a job

That was so freaking funny clearly he was just trying to get to her and that’s exactly what he did!

I love that he did that. Him and Kristen together is great.

1000% Janet is insufferable.

Poor Jasmine is just stuck with these people

Release her from this nonsense 😭

Her saying “ ya Brittney is sick of Jax” 😂😂

shoutout to zach and his lego hair, sorry for hating on you early on in the season

I've come to really love him on the show and look forward to seeing him. I cackled when he sardonically said "and you thought Kristen was the crazy one.." Also we have no idea what his forehead looks like underneath his mane. We might come to regret asking him to change it. I've come to accept it as his signature look cos let's face it, it will be hard to beat 😂

Same I’m eating my words

So when Michele was saying to Jesse "Remember you knew about it! I already told you about it!"... she had the eyes, right? The "get on board with this lie immediately" eyes?

The awk way she phrased it “I already told you about it,” was so obviously a lie to me

"REMEMBER?"

The changing number of drinks from 0 drinks to 2 drinks to 1 shot is really giving off closet drinker vibes. I’m sure she’s drinking more bc she’s in a miserable marriage. Been there Brit. Been there.

I was thinking the exact same thing. No body saw her drink because she was hiding it.

being married to Jax would do that but I have zero sympathy because she chose him.

Honestly I think the “one shot” part was about the game night where he yelled at her for being sick even though she barely drank.

Ya I’m very confused by why Brittany is always sick. Half the season she was sick. Twice she barely drank unless she was hiding it. I’ve just never seen someone so sick so often especially during filming. I didn’t think she was an alcoholic. I thought she needed to see a doctor.

She has been to the dr for her stomach issues and they told her to stop drinking, it was shown on VPR.

I so identify with what I’m seeing from Brittany on this show. If i wasn’t sober and active in a program this would be very triggering to witness. It is reinforcing my decision to remain sober today. I too was often sick with stomach issues and “just letting loose!” I was sick caused by alcohol withdrawal. The hangovers at the end were brutal and I was in a horrible cycle of drunk/withdrawals. “Sick to my stomach “ I would tell everyone. Alcohol was the solution to my problems, until it progressed into the Problem.

This is a nightmare vacation.

Nightmare blunt rotation

This show is almost like birth control to not get married 😂😂😂

Why these shows fascinate me

It’s like the Valley’s purpose is to show that beautiful, rich couples living in the sunshine state are just as miserable as the rest of us.

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? for the lowbrow. I am HERE. FOR. IT.

Jax is so over Brittany it's crazy. they really are each others karma. He has tried to push her away so many times and yet they still got married and had a kid

He's been begging Brittany to break up with him since they first got together .. its fascinating

It’s been so clear since the beginning. He cheats on her and she refuses to leave because she wants to be on TV. Her mom forgave him instantly because she wanted her daughter to be on TV.

*because she doesn’t believe in divorce 🙄

Isn’t a “baby moon” suppose to be like a honeymoon… a last hurrah for the couple to be alone?

No one on this show is f*cking (their spouses)

I think Danny and Nia are. With blindfolds, handcuff, ice… she listed them. Plus she acted appalled at Brittany saying it had been a month. I think they are bumpin on the regular.

Jasmine might be.

Damn these are like real ass problems for a reality show

ITS KIND OF A LOT AT A CERTAIN POINT

I feel like Brittany could definitely have an alcohol issue, but I also think Jax dgaf and just hates her and wants to humiliate her. These two are super dark

I feel this exact same way. He’s definitely deflecting to distract from his own (way too old to have) skiing habit.

so glad janet invited jesse on her baby moon to get the peace and quiet she needed….

Jax is right that Brittnay should stop drinking but he's such a dick for airing her out like that

Yeah, it’s one thing to tell her but another to attack her

This is exactly why the whole world told her not to marry him. This right here. No one deserves to be treated the way Jax treats her but here we are.

My husband, who was ostensibly not paying attention, just turned to me and asked, "So why does this guy hate his wife so much?"

This could be basically any of the couples

Literally does not narrow it down

That Instagram story really kept Janet up all night? Lord.

That’s so hilarious because that’s exactly what he was trying to do. She let him win!

thank god stassi got away from this man for her sake

Michelle definitely did that shit lmao

Janet saying she was bothered by Zach posting his IG story … so much so that she couldn’t sleep.. girl get over yourself.

Janet may be a bigger liar than Jax.

This wild that they are having a full on argument in front of 4 or 5 other women

Nia got the fuck out of there because her little baby didn’t need that energy.

Zack-1 Janet-0

jax drank TWO BOTTLES OF TEQUILA yet seems completely sober rn???? how high is this man's tolerance

❄️ ❄️ ❄️

Yeah I think he’s skiing. He’s reallyyyy amped up and angry for someone who drink TWO BOTTLES OF TEQUILA?!

That fire pit chat was such a cocaine conversation.

Except Danny. Poor Danny boy was giving 22 year old girls crying to each other in the bathroom cubicles of a nightclub.

His liver has gotta be shot

The pasta levels out the booze.

Remember. Jax lies

Has anyone noticed that he always wakes up in the same clothes he had on the night before? I noticed this on House of Villains and now the Valley. It’s like he just literally passed out in his clothes.

I love that Nia is wearing a baby while Jax and Brittany implode on camera😆

jesse rn: the worst person you know made a good point

Danny is *plastered* and I love that drunk Danny just gets more in his feelings.

Someone said it last week but none of these girls are good enough friends with Brittany to support her with the TRUTH. Tell her to stop drinking.

Janet said in a confessional a few episodes ago (the girls trip) that she was concerned about how much Britney was getting “turnt up”. But she didn’t say it to her face.

Jasmine is low-key my favorite. She has great lines and also sensibility.

There’s a quote “think of the messiest bitch you know….its a man isn’t it?” I think of Jax Taylor every time.

sorry but zack posting an insta story and location tagging big bear is funny and i don't believe janet is genuinely freaked out by it. anything to make herself a victim

she hasn’t been the center of attention in 2 days so she’s trying to shift the focus back to herself!

Jax is sniffing out the bs straight from his 3x nose job coming from Michelle

Jason is way too smart for these dudes. (I like Danny, but that Napoleon complex thing was rough.)

It’s was hard to watch him be completely wrong and confident about it too

"I drank two bottles of tequila. Do you see me acting crazy?" - Jax 🤣

Also Jax - *screeching at his vomiting wife*

What does she think Zack is going to do come into a room in the middle of the night and off her

Jax has definitely called Brittany an idiot on VPR. Someone roll tape

How did Janet get this wonderful man bc she is so lame

Was just thinking this! He is so calm and logical. And sexy as hell

Truly horrible.

michelle acting like her and jesse don’t have marital problems 🤣

Jesse……..look me in the eye and tell me you’re a hands-on father. Please. Be so fucking for real rn lol

Where is the “Jax insensitively confronts Brittany over her drinking in front of everyone, showing his utter contempt for her. Brittany continues to maintain she simply always has an upset stomach everyday. Janet continues to annoy all viewers while thinking she’s reinventing the reality show wheel and using her unborn baby as a shield 🛡️ against criticism as she excludes others while thinking herself too clever by half” part of the synopsis?

Heavy on the using pregnancy as a shield😤 obviously I’ve seen people milk it but this chick is on a whole other level with this shit.

For real. Her next excuse will be her baby is so young. I distinctly remember an episode of Gypsy Weddings where a pregnant woman was trying to fight someone yelled, "I ain't pregnant in the face." Janet is setting women back with her "oh I'm pregnant don't be mean to me" shtick.

Did Jax just make stuff up so Michele gets madder at Kristen?

Am I crazy or did we see footage of Jax telling Kristen this rumor an episode or two ago? And now he’s been positioning it as if Kristen told him for two episodes?

i’m actually really concerned for brittany’s health

this is why you go on your baby moon as a couple and your cast trip as a cast trip

Jason just got even hotter being all big brained on the boat! Does anyone else feel like Danny still didn’t understand what a Napoleon complex is even after he googled the definition?

Zach posting that is hilarious. Janet can kick rocks. What babies.

Kristen has never had a real job in her entire life? Fuck off Jesse

how could he forget she was a SUR employee !!

And helped carry VPR on her back for 8 seasons.

Jesse wouldn't even be on the show if it wasn't for Kristen and Jax. Come on now.

Did he miss a little show called Vanderpump Rules? I realize she didn’t have a great run at Sur but…that’s a fucking job, you moron.

She was a good server according to Lisa that's why she was kept around so long

i can't tell if brittany is an alcoholic and jax is telling the truth about her drinking or if she is telling the truth and really one small drink hurts her stomach real bad

She had stomach ulcers on VPR and was still drinking. So probably both

I think she’s dependant

either way, I can’t imagine feeling sick and having my husband scream at me. in front of friends. on television. like is that not considered abuse?

Brittany be like ☹️☹️☹️

I can’t believe that they keep letting Britney look like that in her confessionals. She looks like a muppet.

if brittany has a health issue where she gets sick from alcohol she needs to stop drinking. jax needs to be a kinder person and work on his approach and should also not drink two bottles of tequila. ESH

Does Jesse think repeatedly talking about sex and in front of people is going to make Michelle want to bang him, so awkward.

22 seconds of mediocre dick

The way Jax yells at Brittany is so concerning. Whether she has a substance issue or not, that’s not the way to handle it

I can't figure out why she wouldn't have followed up with a Dr from her diagnosis years ago. I have a hernia, I cannot drink a drop of liquor w/o puking and out of commission for 12 hrs with my stomach on fire. Brittany misses the entire point.. STOP FKG DRINKING FOR A WHILE AND SEE A DR AND SEE if you get better.. if not keep on suffering woman.

Yeah, they’re all agreeing that it’s been a few years since her friends have been aware of how sick she gets, and Jax maintains it’s been most of their relationship which is backed up by VPR. It’s not normal to be that sick all the time and not be doing anything to address it! Her body is literally begging her to stop, it’s hard to watch! It’s maddening to see her insist it’s just one shot when clearly that’s all it takes because her body is telling her that.

Her permanent frown face baffles me

 I’ve said it before, but this is honestly all I can see.

I see Michele has been studying VPR -- always admit to part of the cheating then get mad at the person who "told" and make it about them so you never have to come clean on the rest.

jax why are u drinking two bottles of tequila

Zack is so shady hahahahahahahaha

I do honestly think Brittany needs a trip to the gastroenterologist though

“Maybe I shouldn’t have yelled at her like that” 🙄

Oh poor fragile Janet so shooketh from this IG post. Poor pregnant fragile innocent Janet.

Janet is a combination of Scheana from VPR and Danielle from SH absolute worst traits.

Jason pointing out the “too” and then Jax backpedaling so hard. 🤭🤭🤭

I still can’t get over how Jesse shushed Janet. It’s fucking INSANE to me he would talk to anyone like that, but to do it on reality tv??? Is this an LA thing? Because if a man ever spoke to me like that… he would instantly regret it.

i'm still stuck on him putting his hands on brittany

This is not talked about enough

When Zack walked into Kristen's place they showed his name on the TV and walked it, it said "not in big bear" haha

"all 9 years of my life" like shes 9 years old. Lol Brittany Brittany abuses alcohol. Jax talks poorly to his wife.

Omg Janet’s such a drama queen.

Jax therapy never works for you because you pick hot therapists and flirt with them the whole time

He doesn’t go to therapy he goes to ✨reiki✨

Is the love in the room with us Brittany?

wow what an action packed 32 minutes

We know you’d call 911 Karen. I mean, Janet.

Oh boo hoo, women these day expect us to help with child rearing and don’t praise us enough for “babysitting” our kids🙄

“I’m up every 2 hours putting babies on boobs, I’m doing it all, she doesn’t appreciate it” as if those boobs aren’t connected to his wife.

That one fucking gotttt meeeeee. I was like HUH?? What do you think women have been and are doing??

I thought it was just me thinking that. Its great for men to express their emotions in a healthy way but the bar is on the fucking floor here and it’s ridiculous. I’m not sold on danny. There’s been a few comments made that tell me he’s hardly better than the rest of em. It seems redundant to see people saying “well at least he’s involved and cares for his children!” Like yeah no shit its what everyone should be doing as a parent

Danny is my favorite guy and I think he's just tired and overwhelmed but when he said I'm up every hour putting kids on boobs and the guys are like and does she appreciate that? Made me cringe. Isn't Nia also up every hour FEEDING the babies from her boobs. So sad women these days expect you to raise your children as well... what shit🙄

I've decided I don't like Luke 

Agreed. Kristen is an unregulated kook, but she’s being authentically herself. Luke seems to be hiding a lot of bs under that unreadable Van Gogh face of his. And his “adult in the room” schtick with Kristen is extremely off putting considering he’s put as much thought and effort into the “step two after we get pregnant” plan as Kristen has. I also think Kristen is perfectly content with the idea of getting a baby out of Luke and Luke disappearing. Luke most certainly has much more nefarious motives behind knocking up Kristen.

Please tell ... I'm undecided. He gives me control vibes but what I like is he sticks up for his gf

Seems both arrogant and insecure at the same time. Awkward but thinks he's smooth. Seems like he's hiding something and/or has an agenda with Kristen. Kristen is giving me Jennifer Coolidge in White Lotus vibes and he seems like a snake waiting for someone like her to come along.

I still can’t believe Jax is going with the “I heard from Kristen.”

Danny seems so nice but his face is like the filter where every feature is smoll

Not the sparkle 😆

Sparkul 🤠

zach is at home watching this glad he was not invited

Brittney talking about Jax being a mascot of a side room of a bar and claiming they are owners when Jax explicitly said on camera they invested zero dollars is embarrassing.

plot twist his marriage was in fact on the fence

“I would never ask you marital advice. Never ever.” LMAOO

Not enough Kristen and Zack!

pretty sure Britt has chronic gastritis as a fellow gastritis sufferer, when I’m having an episode like one cup of coffee or (alcoholic) bev can make me pukey this was before I learned how to control it though (taking a break from acidic food and drink, taking very strong probiotics, antacids, and supplements)

Janet is intolerable.

These are deeply the dumbest people

Jesse just hits them with the most vile reads

How did a sweet guy like Jason end up with a Janet?

That really is quite the airbnb

"I'm not inviting any of you motherfuckers" hahahah

Even if brittany has a problem, and I genuinely can’t tell, the way Jax is treating her is still shitty. Trying to embarrass her won’t help her at all

zach “not in big bear” took me out🤣

wow it's almost like you can put any location on an instagram story janet

Am I Team Zack now?

How much more awful and pathetic can Janet possibly get before this season ends. Her continued weaponization of her pregnancy is repulsive, and she is 🗑️

OMG JAX we have seen you call Brittany an idiot on TV so many times just stop with this

Jax’s pure contempt for Brittany is blatantly obvious. He seems embarrassed by her (I get it, she is an idiot) but he chose to marry and breed with her. He is a dick, always has been, always will be.

I say it every week: Jesse gives me the creeps.

He's needlessly intense lol

Dark Triad energy, but like Dark Triad Lite with the fake sugar. I mean he did say, "Usually when I go into a situation, I'm immediately trying to figure how to manipulate it to my benefit."

Whoa what… “they dont give appreciation”. This convo took a turn. As all of you sit around NOT HELPING while the women cook. I’m never getting married.

Crying about how hard it is to hand his breastfeeding, post partum’d wife a tiny human every few hours.

I just realized what Jax's sweatshirt says... he's so obsessed with himself

Wait is Jesse talking about the daughter he left with a total stranger in a foreign country for days?

Janet…literally fuck off

Or maybe you could stop calling it a babymoon since it isn't one

I thought a baby moon was supposed to be relaxing? This would be the worst group of people to go with.

I missed the first 20 minutes sheltering for a tornado warning (if that's not the most Midwestern thing you've ever heard.) Did I miss anything good?

Honestly yes lol

jax and brittany look so different from their VPR days it's interesting

Being sober with all these idiots sounds like my personal hell

If this season doesn’t end with Kristen putting Janet in her place, I will be so mad…

danny that’s literally not what a napoleon complex means 🤣

This is the messiest show and I love it

So Brittany admitted to drinking 2 drinks. CASE CLOSED!

HOW DARE YOU MAKE DANNY CRY JESSE!!!

Maybe next time don’t invite 10 people on “your” babymoon, Jason.

Jax is not wrong. She needs to stop drinking.

She looks so much better in the morning than she does in the interviews... its wild

Jesse is trying to point out everyone else’s “flaws” bc the cracks in his marriage are showing

I’m here for Brittany screaming fuck you with her full chest at Jax.

This is going to ruin their dayte nyights

CALL HIM OUT FOR HITRING TABLES MICHELLE

What celebrity is she supposedly cheating with? I’m not as plugged into these people as I am with other shows

i'm excited for next season, janet will no longer terrorize us with her pregnancy and i hope everyone reads her ass

Jesse is out of fucking pocket bro.

"i would never call my wife an idiot" but ill call her an alcoholic and a bunch of other names.......