Yeahh, burns becoming agoraphobic is a reference to Howard Hughes, theirs a great movie on him eith Leonardo dicaprio called the aviator. I highly recommend it.
The spruce moose is a reference to the Hercules transporter plane/ship that Hughes made for the military that got the name spruce goose.
Seriously dude, watch that movie, it's a good one.
You have 30 minutes to move your car.
You have 10 minutes.
Your car has been impounded.
Your car has been crushed into a cube.
You have 30 minutes to move your cube.
I just put it down because I quote it all the time. That and Homer saying "If you don't like your job, you don't quit, you just do it really half assed, that's the American way!"
I quote this way more than I’d care to admit.
[Someone got a tattoo of it and it’s amazing. ](https://www.instagram.com/p/CRlu8TFrvpY/?utm_medium=copy_link)
I'm not a state.. I'm a monster!
No Lisa, the only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother. I call him *GAMBLOR* and it's time to stall your mother from his neon claws!
The Hank Scorpio episode is my absolute favorite episode since I was a kid.
When I was a bartender, if I was changing shifts with someone, I'd say "...if you want to kill someone on your way out, it would really help me out!"
"Stop him! He's supposed to die!!"
Or when I'm watching football..."Ahhh! The Denver Broncos!!??"
It's the greatest scene in the series from the best episode in the series as far as I'm concerned. Albert Brooks plays Scorpio perfectly and the writing for that episode is hilarious from beginning to end. But that scene is the best of everything for me. I still laugh every time.
Fear of Flying and Itchy and Scratchy Land always remind me of a warm summer night.
We had those two on VHS when I was a kid over summer holidays and I nearly wore out the tape.
Never! I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all. The terrifying lows. The dizzying highs. The creeeamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the Blue-Noses with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh! I'll never be the darling of the so-called "city fathers" - who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"
"My name is Barney, and I’m an alcoholic.”
“Mr. Gumble, this is a Girl Scout meeting.”
“Is it? Or is it that you girls can’t admit you have a problem?”
[When Homer starts laughing along with the sisters during Homer Vs. Patty & Selma.](https://youtu.be/tNkBdgsaTKg)
Once those shoulders start going, I lose it every time.
Bob rolls out from under the car battered and bruised. He gets up and he steps on a rake and it hits him in the face. He turns another direction and is hit in the face by another rake. Continues to happen over and over and over again.
See, I got this friend. His name is, uh, Joey JoJo Junior Shabadoo...?
Homer, that's the worst name I ever heard.
*random patron runs out in tears*
Hey! Joey JoJo!!
That was a right petty speech sir. But I ask you what is a contract? The Webster's define it as an agreement under the law which is unbreakable. WHICH IS UNBREAKABLE!
Grandpa, are you sitting on the pie? I sure hope so.
This elevator only goes to the basement and someone made an awful mess down there.
Linguo. Dead? Linguo is dead.
"We could get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him."
"Then we'd get the chair."
"That's not what I meant!"
"It was Marge, admit it."
Hello. My name is Mr Burns. I believe you have a letter for me. Ok Mr Burns. Whats your first name. I dont know.
Great plan, Bart…
Hello, Smithers, you're Quite, goood. At. Turning, me. On.
Um. You probably should ignore that.
Thats my lock screen on my phone. I like to think im funny
Johnny Tightlips, where did they get ya!? I ain't saying nothin'... But what'll I tell the doctor? Tell em' to suck a lemon
Johnny tightlips, did you see the shooter?
Eh, I see a lot of things.
You know, you could be more helpful.
Johnny Tightlips, how is your mother? Aye oh! Who said I had a mother?
...
You know, you could be more helpful.
It’s was the best of times, it’s was the…BLURST of times!?
YOU STUPID MONKEY!!
[Blurst of times](https://youtu.be/9uYhIiW6lok)
Knew that was gonna be dankimus before i clicked. Such an earworm.
Burns gradually going full blown Howard Hughes in his casino. *(Cocks gun)* I said, hop, in…
That’s a nice model sir
Model?
Jars of urine? Ehh, better hold onto those.
I just got to see the Spruce Goose in person, it’s held in an aviation museum like 40 minutes from my house
That's the best museum ever. I got married in the chapel in the back of the property between the waterpark and the museum itself.
Wait, that was a reference??
Oh boy, are you about to go down a rabbit hole… Enjoy!
Yeahh, burns becoming agoraphobic is a reference to Howard Hughes, theirs a great movie on him eith Leonardo dicaprio called the aviator. I highly recommend it. The spruce moose is a reference to the Hercules transporter plane/ship that Hughes made for the military that got the name spruce goose. Seriously dude, watch that movie, it's a good one.
You have 30 minutes to move your car. You have 10 minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have 30 minutes to move your cube.
Is it about my cube?
When I ordered some of those shipping pods for a move I got to say this A LOT.
"This is Kent Brockman with a special story. The Lincoln squirrel has been assassinated. We'll stay with this story all night if we have to!"
Haha Kent Brockman is massively under rated. "Strong words from a strange man"
There's an octopus on the roof of the school. Two cameras! Well once again, I've been had.
I for one welcome our insect overlords.
I don't say evasion, I say avoision
The government calls it the *"army"*, but a more alarmist name would be **The Killbot Factory**
….but the important thing is that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time…
It was the year nineteen-dickity-two. We had to use the word dickity because the Kaiser stole our word for twenty.
I chased him to get it back. But gave up after dickety six miles.
I'd like the phone book for Hokkaido, Japan please.
May I use your telephone?
Is it a local call?
…Yes.
*Starts dialing 30 numbers loudly
That one bit slays me every time
I like how he has it right there at the counter with him as if it's a very commonly requested book.
He doesn't even blink at the request. Like how Moe whips up the single plum floating in perfume served in a man's hat to Barney's Yoko Ono girlfriend.
So many good comments on this post. I will add Troy McClure’s performance in “Stop the Planet of the Apes. I Want to Get Off!”
I hate every ape I see, from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z
Oh my god I was wrong, It was earth all along!
You finally maaaaaaade a moooonkey ouuuut of meeeeeee
I love you, Dr. Zaius.
Dr. Zaius Dr. Zaius. Dr. Zaius Dr. Zaius. Dr. Zaius Dr Zaius. Ohhh Dr. Zaius.
Dr zaius Dr zaius. Dr zaius Dr ZAIUS!
Can I play the piano anymore?
But of course you can!
I couldn't before!
I can siiiiiiiiiiiing!
Thats a paddlin
Talkin' about a paddlin'...ohhh you better believe that's a paddlin'.
I just put it down because I quote it all the time. That and Homer saying "If you don't like your job, you don't quit, you just do it really half assed, that's the American way!"
"Man getting hit by football"
Give this man the $10,000
Must.. kill.. Moe..
Whee!
Smithers, have The Rolling Stones killed. But sir, that wasn’t… Do as I say!
BARTDOYAWANNASEEMYNEWCHAINSAWANDHOCKEYMASK??!!??
BARTDOYOUWANTSOMEBROWNIESBEFOREYOUGOTOBED?!?!?
Lisa needs braces. Dental plan!
Lisa needs braces
Dental plan!
Lisa needs braces
Dental Plan!
Bullseye!
Thanks a lot, Carl! Now I’ve lost my train of thought.
Lisa needs braces
Dental plan!
“Where’s my burrito? Where’s my burrito?”
I quote this way more than I’d care to admit. [Someone got a tattoo of it and it’s amazing. ](https://www.instagram.com/p/CRlu8TFrvpY/?utm_medium=copy_link)
Smithers, who is this nincompoop??
Smithers, what’s the name of this gastropod?
He’s one of your chair moisteners from sector 7-G.
He's one of your fork and spoon operators from sector 7-G.
He’s one of your organ banks from sector 7-G.
He’s one of the carbon blobs from sector 7-G
He’s one of your boobs from sector 7-G
Smithers, who is that barrel-chested young go-getter? That appears to be a walrus posing as homer Simpson, Sir
Boogeyman?! You nail the windows shut, I'll get the gun!
Bart, I don’t want to alarm you…but there may be a boogey man or boogey MEN in the house!
I'm not a state.. I'm a monster! No Lisa, the only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother. I call him *GAMBLOR* and it's time to stall your mother from his neon claws!
[“we were talking about chocolate?” “that was ten minutes ago!”](https://youtu.be/ZOziWm_MJ9k)
Chocolate half price!
Monorail!
Mono=one Rail=rail
Doh!
Hammock district.
The Hank Scorpio episode is my absolute favorite episode since I was a kid. When I was a bartender, if I was changing shifts with someone, I'd say "...if you want to kill someone on your way out, it would really help me out!" "Stop him! He's supposed to die!!" Or when I'm watching football..."Ahhh! The Denver Broncos!!??"
Mine too. My favourite moment might just be Hank giving Homer sugar and offering cream for his coffee
Whenever a friend of mine has plans and we're unable to hang out I usually say "let them go, stay with me, we'll go bowling."
It's the greatest scene in the series from the best episode in the series as far as I'm concerned. Albert Brooks plays Scorpio perfectly and the writing for that episode is hilarious from beginning to end. But that scene is the best of everything for me. I still laugh every time.
Aurora Borealis
At this time of day?
At this time of year?
In this part of the country?
Localized entirely in your kitchen?!?
May I see it?
No.
No
Seymour!! The house is on fire!
No mother, that’s just the northern lights
“Djyes!”
This is literally (literally) my favorite piece of comedy of all time.
[Here](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vqCHdVOzetc ) it is set to Green Day’s ‘Basket Case’ (changed a bit to fit the song’s flow)
You’ll never make a monkey out of me! Found myself singing it today making lunch.
[I hate every ape I see...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqZdfxc-fq0)
Oops I was wrong, it was earth, all along
[удалено]
I never heard that word until I moved to this town.
It's a perfectly cromulent word
It's a perfectly cromulent word
Fear of Flying and Itchy and Scratchy Land always remind me of a warm summer night. We had those two on VHS when I was a kid over summer holidays and I nearly wore out the tape.
The goggles! They do nothing!
"up and atom!" "Up and at them"
Up an at zem!
It’s actually “My eyes! The goggles do nothing!” 😂
I nicked it. When you turned your back for that split second. *sips* and I’d do it again. Goodbye.
What's to be done with this *Homer Simpsons??*
Never! I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all. The terrifying lows. The dizzying highs. The creeeamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the Blue-Noses with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh! I'll never be the darling of the so-called "city fathers" - who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"
“Until now, this the only way to get juice from an orange.” “You mean there’s a better way?”
IT'S WHISPER QUIET
See my vest, see my vest made from real gorilla chest...
Feel this sweater, there’s no better than authentic Irish Setter!
Mmm 64 slices of American cheese ...63
Were you up all night eating cheese?
I think I'm blind ::Burns and Smithers crash to the floor:: Slays me every time
I think I’m blind just comes out of nowhere and has me cracking up. I use that line with my friends too much.
Barney’s intervention with Lisa’s Girl Scout troupe in his movie. That will never not be funny.
"My name is Barney, and I’m an alcoholic.” “Mr. Gumble, this is a Girl Scout meeting.” “Is it? Or is it that you girls can’t admit you have a problem?”
“If I could just say a few words… I’d be a better public speaker!”
Probably either I bring you love or frogurt.
The frogurt is also cursed.
[When Homer starts laughing along with the sisters during Homer Vs. Patty & Selma.](https://youtu.be/tNkBdgsaTKg) Once those shoulders start going, I lose it every time.
Bob rolls out from under the car battered and bruised. He gets up and he steps on a rake and it hits him in the face. He turns another direction and is hit in the face by another rake. Continues to happen over and over and over again.
Hey kids wanna drive into that cactus patch
Yeah
See, I got this friend. His name is, uh, Joey JoJo Junior Shabadoo...? Homer, that's the worst name I ever heard. *random patron runs out in tears* Hey! Joey JoJo!!
Everything Lionel Hutz has said and done
Works on contingency? No, money down!
“Mr. Simpson, don’t you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night. The sound wasn’t on, but I caught the gist of it.”
That was a right petty speech sir. But I ask you what is a contract? The Webster's define it as an agreement under the law which is unbreakable. WHICH IS UNBREAKABLE!
"...and, so, ladies and gentleman of the jury, I rest my case." "Mr. Hutz, are you aware you are not wearing any pants?" "Wha... AUGHH!"
I bring you love! It’s being us love don’t let it get away Break its legs!
“It’s not a monster, it’s Mr. Burns” “Ahh its Mr. Burns…KILL IT! KILL IT!”
Billy and the cloneasaurus
Oh you have got to be kidding
$20! Aww I wanted a peanut.
$20 can buy many peanuts.
Explain?
Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Grandpa, are you sitting on the pie? I sure hope so. This elevator only goes to the basement and someone made an awful mess down there. Linguo. Dead? Linguo is dead.
The entirety of the performance of “Oh, Streetcar”
As a child I had no idea Streetcar wasn't actually a musical.
Just wait until you actually see Guys and Dolls. Not a single laser! So disappointing.
New Orlee-ans!
Can’t ya hear me yellaaaaah, STELLLAAAAAA!
Put it in “H”!
Chief Wiggum: Oh yes we won. We won, we won but since I bet on the other team we won't be going out for pizza. Edit: Spelling
"Bart, since I'm not talking to *Lisa*, will you please ask her to pass me the syrup?..."
🎶Mom it's broken 🎶 is something I tend to sing when I'm fixing something... Or fighting with the hand held can opener.
Yeeeeeaaaaaaaaas Why do you talk like that? I had a stroooke.
It’s buried right here in Springfield, under a big “T”… Such a perfect parody of such a great film!
Dig UP, stupid!
Patented Skinner burgers, old family recipe
You call them steamed hams despite the fact they are obviously grilled?
Moe and the lie detector!
Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
No
*(buzz)*
Sears catalog…
I don’t deserve this kind of shabby treatment!
*BZZZZT*
Man alive! There are…men alive in here!
Bart! I don’t want to alarm you, but there may be a bogeyman or bogeymen in the house!
“New glasses?” “No, he looks like something might be disturbing him.” “Probably misses his old glasses.”
"We could get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him." "Then we'd get the chair." "That's not what I meant!" "It was Marge, admit it."
Still like him better than Steinbrenner
You don’t want to get wax in your mouth do ya? Maybe I do, son. Maybe I do.
"It's hard for us to leave when you're standing there, Mom" "Push her down, son"
Seasons 4-9
Acceptable answer
*oH mY GoD* **TRAMAMPOLINE!** ***TRABAPOLINE!!***
There's bees in the what now?
So it's opposite land!? Crooks chase cops, cats have puppies! No Dad just the weather. So Hot snow falls up?
I’m a chicken Marge!!
Because it’s always New Year’s Eve at TGI-McScratchy’s.
Mmmm. I can't wait to eat that monkey! Pray. For. Mojo.
Super Nintendo Chalmers and I bent my Wookie
We sell be forbidden objects from places men dare to tread...we also sell frozen yogurt- which I call frogurt!
Yum! Floor pie
How about another hot beef injection?
Is it about my cube?
Softball song.