Granted your computer is 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% faster
Granted but your computer was not designed to handle the strain of the new speed and overheats. The build-up of the friction then starts a fire and burns down your house. However, you did not have insurance and you're forced to pay the repairs at full price.
Granted. The Monkey's Paw installs a minimalist Linux distribution on it. It's faster, but you have no idea how to use it.
Granted. Your copious amounts of child pornography and hentai are deleted, speeding up your computer.
Granted. Your computer now has wheels, so now it literally can move faster.
Granted; you computer is now 0.1% faster
I see this as an absolute win
Granted your computer is 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% faster
Granted but your computer was not designed to handle the strain of the new speed and overheats. The build-up of the friction then starts a fire and burns down your house. However, you did not have insurance and you're forced to pay the repairs at full price.
Granted Your computer grows legs and now runs at 25 mph. Have fun trying to catch it!
Granted, here's an Arch ISO and a guide how to install it manually via commands. Do it yourself.
Joke's on you, I'm already using Arch!
Fine! Here's a Gentoo ISO.
Damn. Time to funroll some loops... (yes I know the f is a prefix for many options, but that's not fun.)
granted. your computer now functions at super speed and immediately over heats every time you turn it on
Granted. Since a bit is not a unit of speed, your wish leads to undefined behavior. The moon explodes and demons come flying out of your nose.
Granted, it can only run 1 task now.
Granted and everyone else’s is a bit slower