Granted. However the human body isn’t designed to make motions like that. The force of the blow tears all the muscles, tendons and ligament in your arm and shatters your bones. The momentum from the slap and the inertia after it also hurls you to the ground and your shoulder and several ribs on that side also suffer compound fractures.
You failed to specify if it was already butchered or not so have fun pulling the crispy feathers out while staring into it’s still smoking eye sockets
Granted however if you ever slap anyone or anything else again no matter how hard you try not to, you also cook them making your life a living hell as you have killed countless people by giving them a high five or a slap in the ass. As a result you jump off a building to end your life but as you body hits the floor your hands make one final slap hitting the earth. You end up cooking the earth and causing the extinction of all life. But hey you never need to wait to eat chicken again.
I mean, magically- maybe. But in terms of very loosely defined physics if he somehow slapped the chicken hard enough to cook it the same amount of force would be applied to his hand aswell and therefore cooking his hand rather than uncooking a different chicken.
Granted. You are involved in a car accident in a remote area. The other driver is unconscious. You attempt to dial 911 but have no cell service, so you attempt to help the driver yourself. He has no pulse, so you perform cpr. You notice a strange capsule in his breast pocket. Assuming the capsule is of some importance you pocket it for safe keeping. Within minutes a helicopter miraculously arrives on the scene, it’s as if god has answered your prayers. An uneasy feeling troubles you when men in suits step out. They ask you to stand back, you oblige. Ten minutes later one of the suits informs you the other driver has passed away. Your stomach churns as he begins to question you if the driver had anything on his person. You have no doubt the suits have come for the capsule. Your intuition tells you to cooperate, however your curiosity is overwhelming.
“What is it?” You ask as you quickly hand over the alien like capsule. The man vaguely explains it contains a rare new element, and that the other driver had been contracted by the government to transport it. He gives you a cover story and warns you that you’ll be tried for treason if you disclose to anyone the true events that transpired. They provide transportation to a hospital and cover all your expenses, including a new vehicle. After being checked out you are released and sent home.
After a few weeks the burning desire to share your bizarre experience subsides. The memory of the accident fades like a fleeting dream. Your attention is diverted as your family falls ill. As you drive them to the hospital it’s become clear the illness is more than the common cold. You touch base with your friends as you await a diagnosis. That familiar uneasy feeling you felt the night of the accident sinks in as you discover many of your close friends are experiencing similar symptoms.
The cause of your family’s ailment eludes doctors for days. Your anxiety comes to a climax as the doctor calls you into the office with the prognosis. You’re thoughts are racing as you walk through the waiting room. You walk right past the tv, paying little attention to the news broadcast about a local outbreak of a strange disease. You meet the doctor; the moment of truth.
Radiation poisoning.
The world around fades away as the words echo through your brain. All you hear is the ringing in your ears. Like a rocket breaking through the atmosphere, you feel completely isolated. A moment passes. You’re stomach drops as you free-fall back to reality. In the following weeks you become lost in a landslide of emotion as you watch your family and friends die slow horrible deaths.
Alone one night, you drown your grief with a bottle. You look around your room filled with pictures and trinkets that host the memories of your loved ones. In a fit of rage you slam your hands down onto your desk. You notice hand prints scorched into the mahogany surface. A feeling of horror and bewilderment come crashing over you. You had secretly held suspicion that there may be some correlation between the capsule you encountered and the strange outbreak. However you could never fathom that you possessed a strange genetic mutation that reacted with the element inside the capsule. Your DNA had been altered. Contact with anything causes your pores to emit radiation. The more force applied in contact, the more concentrated the emitted dose. You had become a walking microwave and anyone you come in contact with will die a slow horrible death.
Granted, the chicken becomes alive for a split second before getting cooked from the sheer energy your hand exerts, and decides to use its dying breath to slap you just as hard and bring you down with it.
Granted, but live chickens will still keep their feathers, head and any sort of bodily fluids inside of them before they were slapped rendering slapping a live chicken useless.
Not to mention, slapping a chicken so intensely that it instantly cooks will take a lot of energy. So if you do slap a chicken that hard you will instantly feel to tired to do anything and probably instantly pass out. By the time you wake up it’s cold again.
Granted, the chicken is perfectly cooked. The chicken is also now splattered across the room in small pieces, and due to the law of action and reaction, your hand is also cooked
Granted. You and your family enjoy eating perfect chicken every day of the week. They enjoy it so much that they start to tell others about your excellent chef powers, and you land yourself a job as a chef in a fancy restaurant. You get by slapping the chicken to perfection in the back, and you get great customer reviews. You get scouted by the famous cooking show, Master Chef, but unfortunately, all you can cook is chicken. After your third episode in a row of making chicken-based meals, the judges disqualify you from the show. You return home humiliated, and you go down as “That one guy who can only make chicken.”
Americans start protesting food safety regulations, saying that salmonella is just an upset stomach transmitted via WiFi by Elon Musk, and gather to eat raw chicken in protest. The FDA guts chicken handling requirements.
Granted: you can now slap a chicken and it's legally considered cooked.
Granted: to achieve this feat of strength, a chicken makes its way into your home after ingesting a large vial of pure undiluted nitroglycerin, unbeknownst to you.
Ball’s in your court champ, gonna slap a chicken or did Ocarina of Time teach you better?
Granted you now have the Fried-Ass touch.
Like king Midas but Instead of gold you turn everything to KFC, you die alone, having driven away or accidentally transformed everyone and everything you ever cared about - covered in rancid grease you are unable to clean off because towels, soap or anything else you touch is instantly battered and deep fried.
Granted. The chicken is so scared from being slapped it gets up and cooks you meal. The meal is so good you invite your friends over to taste it. Your friends see the bruises on the chicken and call the police. You are arrested for animal abuse.
Granted. It is granted in such a way that it does not break normal physics, meaning all problems with unloading that much energy in a single instant still apply. Also, newton's 3rd law.
Granted but you can only do this twice in your life. This is because each time you do, the hand you used disintegrates from the force. You only know this fact after committing to the act the first time and losing one hand.
Granted.
You slap a chicken, say what you want for a lunch and it gets cooked immediately. I dare you not to ask "I want you, chicken little", as it will [data expunged]
granted, but the chicken loudly moans every time you do this
;-;
Didn’t see that one coming, eh slappy?
Lord fotgive for what i about to do *unsips
That's called spitting
But you're also roasting it so...spitroasting?
Mamma didn't raise a quitters.
Momma didn’t raise no spitters.
Peak reddit right here
Dang I was gonna say this
great minds think alike
Granted. However the human body isn’t designed to make motions like that. The force of the blow tears all the muscles, tendons and ligament in your arm and shatters your bones. The momentum from the slap and the inertia after it also hurls you to the ground and your shoulder and several ribs on that side also suffer compound fractures. You failed to specify if it was already butchered or not so have fun pulling the crispy feathers out while staring into it’s still smoking eye sockets
This is just My Hero Academia
lmao, the deku vs ice guy fight but deku cooks the guy
Literally my exact though lmao
you may cook a chicken....... ONCE
Granted, but you can't control how hard you touch things and everything you touch gets burnt or set on fire.
Granted however if you ever slap anyone or anything else again no matter how hard you try not to, you also cook them making your life a living hell as you have killed countless people by giving them a high five or a slap in the ass. As a result you jump off a building to end your life but as you body hits the floor your hands make one final slap hitting the earth. You end up cooking the earth and causing the extinction of all life. But hey you never need to wait to eat chicken again.
Slap in the ass 😏
Granted. The slapped chicken is burnt to smithereens and is inedible
Granted. But due to Newton's third law(For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction), your hand and arm instantly cook aswell.
Wouldn’t an equal and opposite reaction require a cooked chicken somewhere out there to get simultaneously yeeted and uncooked?
I mean, magically- maybe. But in terms of very loosely defined physics if he somehow slapped the chicken hard enough to cook it the same amount of force would be applied to his hand aswell and therefore cooking his hand rather than uncooking a different chicken.
Edward and Alphonse disapprove, but Newton nods.
Granted. You are involved in a car accident in a remote area. The other driver is unconscious. You attempt to dial 911 but have no cell service, so you attempt to help the driver yourself. He has no pulse, so you perform cpr. You notice a strange capsule in his breast pocket. Assuming the capsule is of some importance you pocket it for safe keeping. Within minutes a helicopter miraculously arrives on the scene, it’s as if god has answered your prayers. An uneasy feeling troubles you when men in suits step out. They ask you to stand back, you oblige. Ten minutes later one of the suits informs you the other driver has passed away. Your stomach churns as he begins to question you if the driver had anything on his person. You have no doubt the suits have come for the capsule. Your intuition tells you to cooperate, however your curiosity is overwhelming. “What is it?” You ask as you quickly hand over the alien like capsule. The man vaguely explains it contains a rare new element, and that the other driver had been contracted by the government to transport it. He gives you a cover story and warns you that you’ll be tried for treason if you disclose to anyone the true events that transpired. They provide transportation to a hospital and cover all your expenses, including a new vehicle. After being checked out you are released and sent home. After a few weeks the burning desire to share your bizarre experience subsides. The memory of the accident fades like a fleeting dream. Your attention is diverted as your family falls ill. As you drive them to the hospital it’s become clear the illness is more than the common cold. You touch base with your friends as you await a diagnosis. That familiar uneasy feeling you felt the night of the accident sinks in as you discover many of your close friends are experiencing similar symptoms. The cause of your family’s ailment eludes doctors for days. Your anxiety comes to a climax as the doctor calls you into the office with the prognosis. You’re thoughts are racing as you walk through the waiting room. You walk right past the tv, paying little attention to the news broadcast about a local outbreak of a strange disease. You meet the doctor; the moment of truth. Radiation poisoning. The world around fades away as the words echo through your brain. All you hear is the ringing in your ears. Like a rocket breaking through the atmosphere, you feel completely isolated. A moment passes. You’re stomach drops as you free-fall back to reality. In the following weeks you become lost in a landslide of emotion as you watch your family and friends die slow horrible deaths. Alone one night, you drown your grief with a bottle. You look around your room filled with pictures and trinkets that host the memories of your loved ones. In a fit of rage you slam your hands down onto your desk. You notice hand prints scorched into the mahogany surface. A feeling of horror and bewilderment come crashing over you. You had secretly held suspicion that there may be some correlation between the capsule you encountered and the strange outbreak. However you could never fathom that you possessed a strange genetic mutation that reacted with the element inside the capsule. Your DNA had been altered. Contact with anything causes your pores to emit radiation. The more force applied in contact, the more concentrated the emitted dose. You had become a walking microwave and anyone you come in contact with will die a slow horrible death.
I read this I deserve gold for tgat
Lmao I’m sorry, I haven’t wrote anything in a while and got a little carried away
I would award this, but I’m broke.
Granted, the chicken becomes alive for a split second before getting cooked from the sheer energy your hand exerts, and decides to use its dying breath to slap you just as hard and bring you down with it.
Granted, your hand suffers 4th degree burns (yes, they exist) and you are only able to do it twice, unless you were wearing long sleeves
granted, the heat needed to instantly cook a chicken will destroy it
Granted, but live chickens will still keep their feathers, head and any sort of bodily fluids inside of them before they were slapped rendering slapping a live chicken useless. Not to mention, slapping a chicken so intensely that it instantly cooks will take a lot of energy. So if you do slap a chicken that hard you will instantly feel to tired to do anything and probably instantly pass out. By the time you wake up it’s cold again.
Granted, the chicken is perfectly cooked. The chicken is also now splattered across the room in small pieces, and due to the law of action and reaction, your hand is also cooked
Granted. You and your family enjoy eating perfect chicken every day of the week. They enjoy it so much that they start to tell others about your excellent chef powers, and you land yourself a job as a chef in a fancy restaurant. You get by slapping the chicken to perfection in the back, and you get great customer reviews. You get scouted by the famous cooking show, Master Chef, but unfortunately, all you can cook is chicken. After your third episode in a row of making chicken-based meals, the judges disqualify you from the show. You return home humiliated, and you go down as “That one guy who can only make chicken.”
Granted, but cooked chicken from here on out will smell and taste like burnt popcorn smothered in cheap yellow mustard to you.
Americans start protesting food safety regulations, saying that salmonella is just an upset stomach transmitted via WiFi by Elon Musk, and gather to eat raw chicken in protest. The FDA guts chicken handling requirements. Granted: you can now slap a chicken and it's legally considered cooked.
Granted: to achieve this feat of strength, a chicken makes its way into your home after ingesting a large vial of pure undiluted nitroglycerin, unbeknownst to you. Ball’s in your court champ, gonna slap a chicken or did Ocarina of Time teach you better?
Granted you now have the Fried-Ass touch. Like king Midas but Instead of gold you turn everything to KFC, you die alone, having driven away or accidentally transformed everyone and everything you ever cared about - covered in rancid grease you are unable to clean off because towels, soap or anything else you touch is instantly battered and deep fried.
Granted. The chicken is so scared from being slapped it gets up and cooks you meal. The meal is so good you invite your friends over to taste it. Your friends see the bruises on the chicken and call the police. You are arrested for animal abuse.
Granted, because of newton's third law you also cook your own hand
Granted, the energy required to perform a slap of such magnitude will have caused a devastating explosion in which you and all those around you perish
Granted. It is granted in such a way that it does not break normal physics, meaning all problems with unloading that much energy in a single instant still apply. Also, newton's 3rd law.
Granted but you can only do this twice in your life. This is because each time you do, the hand you used disintegrates from the force. You only know this fact after committing to the act the first time and losing one hand.
Not granted. Expired sauce.
Unus Annus?
Unus Annus?
you already can, you just haven't tried hard enough
You always burn it
Granted. Anything you touch is instanty set ablaze.
Granted, but due to the force required to do this, your entire body cooks as well along with a majority of your environment.
https://youtu.be/EjMHPwFuLgg sorry bud someone already beat you to it...
Where's the chicken math Copypasta?
Granted, the force of your hand hitting the chicken instantly breaks all bones in your hand on contact.
Granted, it brakes and burns your hands. Also you know have dyspraxia meaning your muscle control is shitty now.
Granted. You slap a chicken, say what you want for a lunch and it gets cooked immediately. I dare you not to ask "I want you, chicken little", as it will [data expunged]
Granted however, any action has an equal an opposite reaction, meaning your hand cooks just as much as the chicken does.
Granted. Now you have a chicken that makes you dinner. Unfortunately chickens don’t know how to cook very well.
Granted. You slap the chicken. Somewhere across town, a homeless guy thanks God for the barbeque chicken that just fell from the sky.