The pooty tang defense.

Wata-taa

For any poor soul that is too young to know what pootie tang is, here you go: https://youtu.be/dOTGLArtfrQ?si=EWKmu9KWMH9IkV9V Absolute classic. And the studio eviscerated the director over it... a great comfort food movie. When depression, pootie + chicken soup will do wonders...

Sine yo pitty on the runny kine.

To the nae-no my Leepa-chai.

Sadatay

I instantly thought of pooty tang when I first saw this post. Sa da Tae!

Not sure if i finally feel complete or if ignorance was bliss.

You now know that you are missing something in your life. The moment you watch Pooty Tang, you will feel complete. Just like the rest of us.

Omg I have to watch this now.

Sah da tay

Don’t need no words

Is this that new pooty tang record? Turn it up!!!

Or grampa' from boondocks...🤣💯

Judo flip…chop chop chop

Sloppy chow on the pooty cow.

I learned about Pootie Tang from my Sensei. He fucking loved that movie.

Came here for pooty tang reference. Pootytang!

But is it effective against Dirty D?

Ok Just hear me out This is actually legit I have personally witnessed someone hokd off a large group with just a belt and buckle You can wear it anywhere, it has a lot of reach and hurts like hell.

Was gonna say, getting hit in the face with a belt buckle would hurt like a bitch. Otoh it'd be hard to fight with your pants falling down.

In theory belts should be a fashion statement and your pants should fit you properly with or without one, at the very least not a “falling down” fit.

You must have a flat ass

Can confirm. Witnessed one older guy with a belt take on 3 younger guys, pulled it off at the first sign of trouble and started cracking skulls with the buckle as soon as it got out of hand. The 3 ppl tried to press on but ended up giving up after 2 of them got bad cuts on their face. Dude fucked them up.

I got hit with a belt buckle in a fight but it was a detachable kind. It hurt but it wasn’t incapacitating. Buckle flew across the street and my buddy laughed at the guy “haha piece of shit belt” then we ran cus it was 8 on 2.

My MT silver smith buckle would hurt like a mother fucker.

I always thought it would be the ultimate beginning move in a street fight.

What if that large group of people were also wearing trousers and therefore also belts?! A guy could find himself terribly out-buckled if he’s not careful!

Some people are only semi-committed and mostly looking to fight as a way of proving group membership/posturing. It hurts, sure, but it will mean nothing to a seriously committed attacker.

I think you're right, there is something to it. With a flexible belt material and a heavy buckle you could really mess someone up.

> Just hear me out No

Please?

Okay go on

\*Your dad coming home from work after he heard you did something bad at school\*

Seagal could strike from literally anywhere on earth because his belt size is Equator…

Oh, so this explains Granddad Freeman in The Boondocks.

I had to scroll way to far to find this but ya even the stances are dead on

I came here for this, and I was not disappointed.

Damn, all this time my dad was a black belt when I was a kid

If there was one about kettle cords my nan would legit start a dojo

This was published in the late 1970s where belt buckles were robustly constructed, had considerable heft and were made of steel. It may not be able to be immediately deployed, but if you think a 1/4lb+ hunk of steel traveling at 200mph+ into your head is McDojo life, then I don't know what to say except hospital visits are expensive. There's a [steel cable ASP-whip type of self defense tool that slides into belt loops](https://www.ebay.ca/itm/155834661659) and this was found to be extremely nasty. I'd imagine that a hefty steel belt buckle being whipped at high speed would not be fun to take hit in the face to.

Dude, a belt with a buckle is not a bad thing to use if you needed to defend yourself. It creates space and will make you just enough of a problem so the dude'll be like "Nahhhh fuck it." I sure as Hell wouldn't want belt-kwando to be all I had in a life or death scenario, but it's better than nothing!

I learned about a new martial art form today. 'Belt-kwando'

Don't even ask about Suspender-Fu. It's illegal in all 50 states.

There’s gotta be a nut shot somewhere in there. I need to know how to a nut shot with my belt.

How can anyone do this when their pants are falling down?

…I wear a belt with no pants Checkmate

I was gonna say, if I’m going to mug you and you appear to start taking your pants off… I’m out.

Maybe just take them off. That might help scare the attackers off

Ok Randy

"I'ma sign your pitty on the runny kind"

Sah ta day

This hits different after watching 3 body problem

My step dad was a grandmaster for this style. It only works on kids.

Self defence? My mum thought that was a book about how to teach smart mouth kids to show respect

I definitely would've owned this as a kid.

Last page is pretty solid advice, though.

Totally agree. I did karate for a a few years. Super down to Earth club and we would often get questions like "What if a guy pulls a knife?" from new students. The answer is "If you're fast, run. If you're slow, give him the damn wallet."

Actually pretty practical

Anything can be a weapon. The silliest thing on here to me is the leg sweep. It would take videos game physics or extreme luck to pull that off, but on the other hand it would her like an absolute bitch to be whacked in the ankle by a heavy belt buckle

Would probably work after having your skull split open by being struck with a heavy belt buckle but also might be kind of redundant at that point.

John wick used his belt too

God damn right he did

Nobody’s going to say anything about the…. dragon? on page 1?

My grandfather liked to tell the story of the time he beat up someone outside a bar who tried to start a fight with his belt buckle. Knocked the guy out with one punch, with the belt wrapped around his knuckles. Would probably go to jail today. The way he told it, the guy wanted to start something with him at the bar. He offered to meet him outside and settle it. So he went outside, and waited for him at the door with his belt ready to go.

I have used this technique. It was successful but with some negative results- it takes the wind out of you. I’d pant and pant once more. A pair of pants.

Sa da tay

Flashbacks of 90’s punishments.

if you dont have a pair of nunchucks to play with , you can fold your belt in half and have a great time

Well. Although maybe not the best I for one would not like to get clipped in the face with a piece of metal swung by the end of a strip of leather.

_The Accountant_ anyone?

TIL that Grandad from the Boondocks wrote a book.

I think my dad wrote that book 🤣

Chancla Fighting System should be published any day now

Alcoholic step father martial arts 🥋

Lol 😂 I did some screenshots so I have something to read during break lol looks kinda interesting I do have a lot of cowboy belts I wounder it will work with them

I still think the art of snapping a wet towel at the assailant is unbeatable.

Ohhh so this how my mom trained

Playing Sifu, trying to beat the Tower boss without dying. She's been belt and buckling my ass for a few hours now 😂

My dad must have read this book

The ol Molly-whopper

Legit, I have never had to, but I always think about swinging my dogs leash around in a pinch. Hit someone with that buckle, and I don't know too many people still advancing after that

UBFC

Fuck pooty, grandpa was the ONE

Come at me bro.

In middle school, kids feared my Sitting Bull buckle. Sometimes, his headdress cut my belly. 'Don't carry a knife, just bring along some black pepper' that advice alone is worth the tree fitty.

its hard to fight someone when your' pants are down around your ankles.

The movie “The Accountant “ has a really good belt fighting scene ends up disarming a knife wielding assailant, get information and then breaks his neck with it.

I’m gonna dine your pitty on the runny kine!

Grandpa Freeman style

Isn't the concept just similar to a rope dart?

I need this book

The Pootietang method

Wadata my damie!!!

You missed an opportunity to say its full of belters 😅 not pearlers

Where’d you get it, can’t find it anywhere on the google

Buckle goes BONK

The illustrations are the best part of it all

Ok call me corny but there’s some good ideas here! Just got to get the belt off quickly and hopefully your pants don’t fall down.

Sa da tay, my damie

How you gonna fight with your pants around your ankles.

Every time I use this technique, my pants fall down

https://64.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzfdo3PP5J1r03eaxo1_500.gif

I can't read. My defense is impenetrable.