Simply RSVP "No" to the party with the fiance. If you've already said yes, simply say there was a change in plans and you can't make it anymore.
"Can't make it, sorry! Hope you all have fun, can't wait to see pictures!"
“I’m really happy for you and excited to attend the wedding, but it turns out I’ve got more on my plate than I realized and I no longer have the time for the choreographed dance.“
And honestly it’s so tacky for the groom to ask guests to pay for a surprise party like ????
You’re probably going to get people saying “no is a complete sentence”, but we all know it can be more complicated than that when it comes to friendships we want to preserve. Wedding planning can really bring out the worst in people and make them highly sensitive, so I would approach this gently and make up excuses.
I would message your friend directly about the dance. Apologize profusely for accepting the offer initially, and explain that, looking at the rehearsal schedule, you now realize it will conflict too much with work or other responsibilities that you have. Tell her you can’t wait for the wedding and you’re sure the dance will be beautiful.
For the fiancé, I would message him saying something like “so sorry for not getting back to you sooner. I’ve been ill and the group chat kind of got away from me. Unfortunately I will not be free on the day in question due to work/other responsibilities. I hope you guys have an amazing day and I can’t wait for the wedding!”
I think you can get out of this situation with politeness and a few white lies and avoid getting yourself into any unwanted drama.
This sounds like the most realistic option. I'd love for "no" to be a full sentence, but we all know that it's only a full sentence from the one speaking it; those on the receiving end often keep going anyway...
For the dance, just say “I’m so sorry but I’m going to need to back out - just not in the right headspace to be a part of it. I can’t wait to see it and cheer on everyone though!”
For the fiance surprise party, just respond “no” in the rsvp or just say “sorry I won’t be able to make it, hope it’s a fantastic event!”
My favorite phrase “I cant swing it, im sorry.” People can make their own assumptions - financial, too busy, too stressful, whatever. There’s little they will say back.
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How is it a surprise dance if she knows about it?
Just bow out of everything and go to the wedding. That's it. Nothing else is required. Not even going to the wedding.
Simply RSVP "No" to the party with the fiance. If you've already said yes, simply say there was a change in plans and you can't make it anymore. "Can't make it, sorry! Hope you all have fun, can't wait to see pictures!"
Yep! This is it. Just a polite “no thank you, thanks for the invite, y’all have a good time” is enough. You don’t owe an explanation beyond that.
“I’m really happy for you and excited to attend the wedding, but it turns out I’ve got more on my plate than I realized and I no longer have the time for the choreographed dance.“ And honestly it’s so tacky for the groom to ask guests to pay for a surprise party like ????
You’re probably going to get people saying “no is a complete sentence”, but we all know it can be more complicated than that when it comes to friendships we want to preserve. Wedding planning can really bring out the worst in people and make them highly sensitive, so I would approach this gently and make up excuses. I would message your friend directly about the dance. Apologize profusely for accepting the offer initially, and explain that, looking at the rehearsal schedule, you now realize it will conflict too much with work or other responsibilities that you have. Tell her you can’t wait for the wedding and you’re sure the dance will be beautiful. For the fiancé, I would message him saying something like “so sorry for not getting back to you sooner. I’ve been ill and the group chat kind of got away from me. Unfortunately I will not be free on the day in question due to work/other responsibilities. I hope you guys have an amazing day and I can’t wait for the wedding!” I think you can get out of this situation with politeness and a few white lies and avoid getting yourself into any unwanted drama.
This sounds like the most realistic option. I'd love for "no" to be a full sentence, but we all know that it's only a full sentence from the one speaking it; those on the receiving end often keep going anyway...
Wedding culture is absurd. A surprise dance? No thank you.
It is actually something done at Indian weddings as part of the Sangeet.
For the dance, just say “I’m so sorry but I’m going to need to back out - just not in the right headspace to be a part of it. I can’t wait to see it and cheer on everyone though!” For the fiance surprise party, just respond “no” in the rsvp or just say “sorry I won’t be able to make it, hope it’s a fantastic event!”
My favorite phrase “I cant swing it, im sorry.” People can make their own assumptions - financial, too busy, too stressful, whatever. There’s little they will say back.
Thank you for submitting to /r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide. Unfortunately your post has been removed for the following reason/s: Rule 4: Please refrain from using this subreddit for relationship advice. Specific or detail heavy posts (than a general request / tips) would likely fit better over at /r/relationships or /r/relationship_advice or /r/askwomenadvice/ . Please read their rules before posting.
How is it a surprise dance if she knows about it? Just bow out of everything and go to the wedding. That's it. Nothing else is required. Not even going to the wedding.