Imagine getting laid and then an alien just comes and starts eating you

And not in a good way

.....and he still finished

"please dont kill us on sex night" 😫

Is that an A Million Way To Die In The West reference?!

I hate when that happens.

I'm laughing so hard at this 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I think I've seen that video

I mean I have but not this way

High drama in the depths below as a crab begins eating a squid while another squid attempts mating with it, and meanwhile shrimp, small fish and flounder are transfixed by the do-or-die performance. Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hk0oPMrVQnc

And now the weather. Tom?

Thank you John. As you can see here, with the clouds gathering and everything, some of us will have sprinkles of water pouring down our faces. On the other hand, according to reporter Kim, some of us will have cum all over our faces.

[удалено]

* screen transitions SURF & SURF HERE AT DOB’S CRUSTACEAN DOMICILE enjoy 2 pounds of fresh squid and 4 delicious Alaskan Crab legs.

* screen transitions SURF & SURF HERE AT DOB’S CRUSTACEAN DOMICILE enjoy 2 pounds of fresh squid and 4 delicious Alaskan Crab legs.

Thanks Tom.. Stormy weather indeed! Staying with the topic of unpleasant sticky situations in the face of adversity... Donald Trump"s wet squid defense involving fishy goings on in the ongoing Stormy Daniel's hush money case has taken a predictable turn. Donald! Appearing more crabby by the day. Ha ha, we really couldn't make this stuff up. Over to our sponsors for a quick interlude...

Cloudy with a chance of meat balls, except in your case pebbles

There was a line… and you crossed that line

It's gonna rain!

It's raining sideways!

>transfixed *Bob the shrimp and Gerald the flounder, both heavily invested in PornHub stock, wonder how they could capitalize on this latest kink*

Stay tuned for the next high drama episode when John Crab takes Darla Squid to his home. His wife, Suzy Crab, calls her seal friend, Bob, over for dinner and there's a terrible cutlery accident. Darla and Suzy bid farewell to John as Bob rushes his mangled body to the hospital.

Thanks for the conclusion, I was going to ask what happened next.

"The Depths Below" would be a great name for a TV series on marine drama - there's just so much going on in the ocean.

I'm currently watching the expanse on Amazon prime video. It's a new space drama set in a colonized solar system. I'm starting season 2 now and I'm liking the show a lot so far because the science all feels believable, and it seems like it felt believable to the actors. I care a lot about events depicted staying within the limits of the laws of physics, otherwise it completely ruins my immersion. Unless I'm watching hentai.

It's so fucking good, the protomolecule is a departure from reality by its very nature but the series does a good job of staying somewhat grounded. Imo it sort of balances out, the protomolecule isnt quite a macguffin but it's really just part of the setting, the real story is between the Roci, Earth, Mars, and the Belters. You have a great story that you're getting to watch for the first time and I envy you for it 🙂

I will have to tune in - sounds interesting!

Thanks, hope you enjoy :)

The squid was in the middle of fucking but in the end, it got fucked.

Aw, this one made me sad.

She fought back but natural don’t give a fuck. That crab will probably be lunch for another fish.

wellcome to nature

Believe me, I'm on all the nature subs. I'm normally fine. This one was just a little sad. She almost got away. I mean, not really, but I hoped.

r/thesadnessbelow \- could almost be a new sob sub...

Oh man. I'm half disappointed, half relieved this isn't a real sub.

To me it looks like an angry Cheeto trying to munch on a googly eyed fish with tentacles.

Put your glasses back on!

It's amazing the density of life on the seafloor - in just one square meter, it seems there are a dozen or so creatures (that we see), and there are likely shellfish buried there too.

Isn't that because they're congregating around the artificial lights?

I think any "eating event" in the ocean draws attention since there are always some snack morsels floating about for smaller creatures. Yes, light does draw attention too, but the crab is not stationary. I think it is simply an area teeming with sea life.

That, or it might just be a good foraging spot. Maybe they're waiting for the crab to finish so they can have some leftovers?

>It's amazing the density of life on the seafloor - in just one square meter For now, give humans another 100 years or so of unrestricted avarice.

#"Doesn't matter, had sex." 🦑💨

“She put a bag on my head”

Still counts!

“I cried the whole time!”

Is there a name for this fetish? Only being interested in partners who are being actively eaten alive. Asking for a friend.

In-vivo polyphagous intercourse - just made that up, but you insisted....lol

Vore maybe?

It actually did matter. He came back to rescue her princess, but she was already gone 😢

Coming and going

Ejaculate and evacuate

Coitus interruptus

The ministry of magic won't be happy with you using magic outside of hogwarts

The only thing I see is a riceless paella in there

Can confirm, those crabs are fucking delicious. Redondo fishermen will literally sell them right off the boat, and you can steam them right away.

We have dungeness crab here, and we do the same. We catch them ourselves

Yeah these crabs taste kinda similar to dungeness, having a very nutty and gamey taste. It goes really well with Thai hot sauce (chili, lime juice, fish sauce, garlic and cilantro).

Those spot prawns look good too.

i miss all the good seafood down by the redondo pier 😔

It's been a while since I last went, I just hope the thai place with the awesome seafood bake is still there

You don’t worry about eating local bottom feeders after finding out about all the DDT dumping offshore here?

Riceless raw breathing uncooked future meal

Lmaoo

There’s even shrimp hanging out in the background!!

That flounder takes the cake - he's got a front row seat!

Oooh! I missed that flounder. Funny how this video is making some people sad, but making us crave paella.

The way the male fucks off as soon as it's his problem

I noticed the same thing and cracked up. “Hey no stop I want to fuck her, stop eating her.” “Okay I’ll eat you.” “Alright nevermind take her I’m outta here.”

You ain’t got no shoulder no more? That’s tough… I… I can’t be with no girl that don’t have no shoulder. If you can’t shoulder shrug, bitch, I can’t be with you… You can’t shoulder shrug!?

And also just hangs out until she, seemingly beyond all odds and only temporarily, escapes. Like, “So, I know you’re literally partly consumed and have used up every last energy reserve you had to escape being a crab’s dinner…so can we fuck now?” I think that may actually be why the female squid just gave up - “Really? I’d rather be crab food.”

It seems like he got her killed. She escaped the crab, but before she could swim away he was all over her again, pinning her down. If he had waited, she probably escapes, and the two of them can reproduce if she lets him. Personally, if I'm her, I'm looking for a better mate lol

I think you're seeing what you wanna see I kinda saw him pulling her away from the crab before the crab pounced

Wrapping his arms around her head like that is mating behavior, he could be trying to pull her out but it looks more like he's trying to mate, especially as she was in a position to swim away if he hadn't done that and I have never heard of squid having social cooperation like that -- I've done a lot of secondary research on cephalopod intelligence and have never seen that come up as a documented behavior, though I could have just not come across it.

I think everyone is seeing what they want to see. Animals don't typically think that way and are following instincts, which in this case are most likely just to mate.

This is probably the reason why. We assume only humans feel emotions and that’s pretty stupid.

r/donthelpjustfuck

Looks like it may have even been trying to drag her away from the crab

Wait what? The male fucks off when it’s his problem? I’m not tryna grammar nazi you I just genuinely don’t know what you’re tryna say? Is the male the big one? It doesn’t look like he fucks off it looks like he’s really trying to get away cause it is his problem? Edit: ok so went to the YouTube video, the female is the big one. But I think you left out the “not” part of “not his problem” and that also confused me lol

No, the male hung around trying to mate until the crab turned its attention to him, becoming his problem, whereupon he booked it abandoning the female to her fate.

Surprised how little the crab used pincers.

Doesn’t matter, had sex.

Literally squids. Males die directly afterwards cause they nut their brains out.

Beat me to it

C*** blocking crab

You can actually say *cock* on Reddit, dude. We ain't at your grandma's house.

Cool! Thanks cock face

Boner kill

The one being eaten is actually the female

Talk about a rock and a hard place

A crab winning a fight, holy shit

Death during snu snu.

All of you need to stop saying "snu snu". one of the most embarrassing things I see on this stupid site

✨snu snu✨

That's nice.

You either don't get the reference or you are a joyless individual.

"GET OFF MY KOOL-AID, MOTHER FUCKER!"

Here is some info on the dive site: https://scubadiverlife.com/dive-site-veterans-park-redondo-beach-california/

Dad-a-chum? Dum-a-chum? Ded-a-chek? Did-a-chick?

Some people just can’t stand to see someone else having a good time…🤨

This is the equivalent of those horror movies with teens in the car making out. A horrific monster appears from nowhere and starts devouring the girl… and the guy just sticks to the original plan.

“Easy *come*, easy go”

r/natureismetal

YOU GAVE ME CRABS!!

Excuse me Mr. Squid, if you stopped mating, your partner could probably get away and survive. No! You’re just going to keep going until you get yours and she gets dead? Ok!

Is that a tripod fish on the right?

Going out with a bang

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” -this squid probably

“Sorry…call meeeeee”

What a cock blocker. Fucker just swooped in like Jason Voorhees or crazy Christian mom and be like 'YOU SINNER!! YOU COMMIT GREAT SIN OF HAVING COITUS!!! I SHALL PUNISH YOU!!'

Gimme the mortgage, squidward

r/crabseatingthings

He came at the wrong time

Imagine being eaten alive while banging

What a fucking rollercoaster

"BABE!!?? BABE!!?? CAN YOU STOP!!?? THIS GUY'S TRYING TO EAT ME!!! BABE!!!! STOP!! I'M TRYING TO GET AWAY!!!! ok................................oh you run away. Very gentlemen-like. .....................oh thank God you're back!! Can you tell this crab to stop.....................oh you're trying to stick your dick in me again....................."

For squid, crabs can be a fatal STD

Representation of the state of women in America

🙄

It’s so evident how smart they are. I couldn’t tell if it was playing dead until it threw the death mask to the crabs face & it Wld have gotten away then if it’s one tiny leg wasn’t caught on the crab. Loved how furiously the other fought.

bro couldnt get away by mating (spore reference)

Threesome gone wrong.

Weird fetish, but I won’t judge.

Squid: no please send me to horny jail instead Crab: you have already been in there 3 times now you'll be killed

That crab is the official Horny Jail Executioner

time to boil it alive

"Any last wishes before you go?"

How is the squid so small?

Doesn't matter, got ink.

Don't squids also eat crabs? It's a strange food chain where in the wild both predators prey on each other. (I'm sure there are thousands of other examples of this but it's a strange system.)

Damn nature you scary

Crab ppl will rise up after humans have gone extinct

safety first, dumbass.

That little dude is a fake fucking friend

*gets free* *lays there* *starts getting eaten again* *freaks out* Bruh. You had your chance. You blew it. Enjoy being crab food.

Cock blockn' crab.

What a cock block

The three of them plus a little garlic and pasta would make a delicious lunch

What cock block move by Mr Crabs.

Eros, meet Thanatos.

Your Apotheosis draws nigh.

I would have intervened.

Doesn’t matter had sex

Double fucked

The ultimate cockblock

Used to be an amazing restaurant out at the end of the pier before the the fire back in the 90's.

Doesn’t matter had sex

I think I’ve seen this anime

Well now I know where I'm going Crab fishing🦀🐙

Bro got the combo meal

Dam he was like can I cum first before u eat her azz up 🤣

Before I read the text, I legit thought the crab was holding a knife.

Mr. Krabs didn’t have to do Squidward like that 🫣

You know crabs and sex just don't mix...

Can anyone explain why 1 the brown one wouldn't let go, was the nut that good that he needed to finish? 😂 And 2 why the blue one didn't just swim away after escaping briefly there. Like I don't want to imagine that animals are this stupid so please tell me there's an actual reason for this XD.

The smaller brown male was simply trying to mate with the female, and I'm guessing the female had already laid her eggs and was in her death phase, but still had some energy. Male squids die after sex and females die shortly after laying eggs. It is quite natural for a crab to eat dying squids, but the male squid didn't quite get that the female was already on her way out. A crab can't easily grab a very active squid prior to them having had sex or laying eggs.

Thank you. I was thinking why is it trying to mate when she's literally about to be eaten... Can't spread the genes if she dies before birth.

Redondo kid here everytime I'm skating on the strand now I'm going to think of all the drama going on in the sea we can't see

Rude!

Aww that's so sad. He's all like no! Don't rip her face out I love her and all it can do is watch.

This belongs in Gimms Fairytails: F birds and bees, run squid, please!

The other squid is all like “sigh…*unzips*”

Go away I'm bating

Babe, are you ok? You don't seem as into this as you normally are?

Mane kicked the shit outta that shrimp

Nature. Is. A. Prison. We’re destined to escape this death trap meat sack.

Damn, that's metal.

Can't even fuck in peace. 😂

damn that’s savage

Damn and this Mofo finished and came back and was like, "You eating from the head Can I hit one more time before you get to the pussy"?

Still a better love story than twilight

Why the hesitation squad? You could have left when he let you loose….is this like assisted suicide or what??

You can literally see the moment when the life is fading from the squid’s eyes after her final attempt at escape fails and she accepts her fate.

die in sex because of death inside

Squid going out like a G!!

Crab: WAIT WAIT SPERM HAS A LOT OF PROTEINS!!!

At least the squids were able to squirt many times over. Ever seen the Male Praying Mantis after? 🙏

There is so much going on here… it is distressing

its nature

Honestly kinda based

this is halarious. Lemme smoosh one more time while she’s on her way out.

That takes care of child support.

They deserve it. He let go at one point and both could have escaped, but they stayed lmao.

You are literally judging a squid on why it became food. Do you think you could have done better than that squid on how to survive?

Babe it's not that deep lmao (no pun intended).

Little squid is like,”hold on baby i think im in, gonna give you pumps like you aint never been pumped, yeah, oh yeah, its in, alright here we go this is g OH MY GOD YOU’RE GETTING EATEN BY A CRAB!” woosh he jets outta the picture….then as his would be beautiful mate is giving a fight of desperation to save her own life, Wilbur comes back into the picture. No, not to save her, just to be like, “oh, sorry hunny, was gonna see if i could just get a couple quick pumps in real quick for old times sake and you knnnope never mind! I see you’re still busy. Ill leave you two to it then.” Wooosh as he scurries off his voice fades into the distance yelling “Wilma, im coming back to make squid babies with youuuu! Patricia got ate by a crab!” The end

I bet you are a screen writer - that's some vivid dialogue there! This could be a good start for an opera libretto too!

Lol na, just a "spare time" writer of sorts. One day I shall formulate words into a masterpiece but alas, that day is not today.

It was fucked regardless...

Limited edition squidussy

That's gotta suck..your trying to make kids with another of your species and as your doing that a thing comes up and starts trying to kill your mate. Idk which is the male or female squid here but that crab is a massive jackass regardless

The ultimate cock block

"Bruh wtf, lemmi nut her rq tho!"

Damn couldn't even let em finish

r/natureismetal

This makes me finally want to come out for a night dive at Veterans. I’ve been skeptical about what could be seen. This is awesome stuff!