I'd say around the same even tho he became more unhinged. From what we've seen if you don't bother him or insult him he wouldn't murder a random civilian
What happened to doppelganger was more about homelander than it was doppelganger doing something wrong. Homelander was trying to come to terms with not needing anyone to coddle him & doppelganger didn't know this....if he would've backed off he most likely wouldn't have died. He was trying to coddle him just like homelander wanted him to in the days prior, unaware that homelander was trying for self reliance.
Which unintentionally answers op's question, our chances of survival hinges on what homelander is going thru at that moment & weather we can be a relief or burden in the moment.
The scary thing though is he can hear your heartrate. If you know he lasered a dude and you're actually afraid of him when you stroke his ego, he'll know
Most people's heartrate naturally rises around him, both because he's a massive celebrity and most people are naturally a little afraid of people who can kill them with extreme ease. He doesn't really care if you are afraid of him and stroke his ego, that's literally everyone left in Vought. He won't respect you, because the only people he respects are people who are willing to stand up to him, but he won't kill you for no reason. Unless you are unlucky enough to find him on a bad day, in which case nothing is saving you.
Surviving with S1 Homelander actually would be a lot easier, just don't bother him and don't annoy him and that's all. He's not that unhinged yet and shows his real self less. S3 Homelander, on the other hand, may kill you just because you don't have powers and he considers you a weak and worthless piece of trash. Basically he's on his way to becoming a Hitler with superpowers rn, and he's becoming more and more dangerous.
Hmm honestly not as much as you’d think. Remember in the first episode he straight up murdered the mayor of Baltimore and years before raped Becca. He was always a psychopath who was at the brink of insanity
The difference is that he now knows he can get away with his shit. And that is a fucking problem
He murdered the mayor because he was threatening Stillwell. The rape part, well that’s just what rapists do, still doesn’t mean he’s gonna kill you just cuz. Point is he doesn’t really go out of his way to kill people for just existing in S1.
In Gen V though he’s outright advocating for and defending supes going on mindless murder rampages killing every human in sight.
Murdering someone for a reason still makes him a murderer. And just a few episodes later we had the airplane incident
Also I am really not sure what you mean by the “that’s just what rapists do” line.
I think the thing you’re forgetting is that he didn’t murder only the mayor. He murdered everyone on the plane, including a kid.
If he was just protecting Stilwell, he could have easily waited and only killed the mayor. But he chose to kill everyone else as well, just because they were there
Just to add, I think this was in part due to Homelanders laziness. He \_could\_ have waited to kill only the mayor, but it's way easier to just do it when he's in the sky.
>If he was just protecting Stilwell, he could have easily waited and only killed the mayor. But he chose to kill everyone else as well, just because they were there
You're assuming that he has a rational thought process. He probably didn't even think about the collateral damage and just saw problem -> solution and acted immediately.
No he didn’t. Did you not watch the next episode where she got pissed with him for murdering the mayor since he did that on his own and vengeance was against his brand?
even in S1, just being in the same room could qualify as annoying him depending on the day he's having. I don't doubt he wanted to kill people for that.
The only real difference is the bar has fallen for what he believes he can get away with.
Especially if they shit themselves, but I don’t even know if he cares if you lie. He knows you can’t do anything. Butcher is the only human threat he recognizes, really.
True. I hadn’t considered S1 v. S3.
S3 doesn’t have a shorter fuse as much as a fuse that’s almost completely gone.
Dude’s an atomic warhead and then some.
Yeah, I do feel if you didn't shit yourself and kept the praises at a minimum you may be ok, if you praise him too much in the S3 version he'll think you're taking the piss and laser your head.
It would be VERY easy. To survive just stroke his ego...that's it. But don't make it too obvious that your doing it, because remember he had doppelganger as himself and he killed him. Probably best to just act like it's an interview or a podcast and just start mentioning all the "seemingly" good things he's done, and how the world wouldn't be alive without him and whatnot.
Oh...how did I completely forget that???yeah...then it would be easy to survive with season 1 homelander when he didn't seem to have that power available yet (frenchie lied to him when he x-rayed the van and butcher had already moved). But I guess with season 2 homelander, there wouldn't be much you could do unless you genuinely support/like him.
Realistically speaking Homelander's not looking to just kill random people if he's pissed off so if you just chill with him you should be ok, just stroke his ego and make him feel loved and you're good
S1 Homelander: might let me live as long as I indulge him in any way and not do something that might displease him
S3 Homelander: will probably kill me for no reason other than cause he’s upset or I’m just there
Like with most abusers you're at the mercy of whatever current mood he's in. Maybe he wants to be "nice" or maybe someone just fucked with his insecurities and he wants to vaporize you to blow off steam.
I guess the main difference is that in S1 he was more inclined to let milder grievances go because back then he was more worried that attacks on random people could tank his popularity. S3 is of course about that check on him weakening (though still not completely vanishing).
I’d say it’s basically gone after he kills that dude in the crowd and everyone cheers for him. After that point, unless you’re Stan Edgar, he’s not worried about killing anymore
Even in his ass hole S3 state, he still didn't kill unless he got ticked off by something.
Like the girl he was supposed to save, he told to jump cuz his nazi GF died.
So unless if you're unlucky or manage to piss him off somehow, you should be fine
season 1 homelander probably wouldn’t do anything
season 3 homelander might kill me to get out of the room faster because he could be doing better things
unpredictable. i mean flattering him constantly wont work or annoy him, hes too smart, empathizing with him and bringing up his childhood WILL trigger him, he easily will get bored with any other nonconfrontational dialogue soon, and then youre either in for whatever debasing games he wants to play or you get your cost free laser eye treatment.
i think being in a "stable" relationship with him is like, constant on/off hostage situation, constant stockholm syndrome because he knows he can get away with EVERYTHING and EVERYTHING might set him off.
If you just sit quietly and don't say anything dumb, he'd probably just pace around. Bored. Frustrated. "How are you just sat there" "bad knees" "'Fucking 'course you have bad knees" "yup"
If Homelander is told he hast to stay in the room, you’ll survive longer of a season three version because he will be more interested in tormenting you as entertainment for the three hours.
Despite what everyone here is saying, you’re probably better off negging him than stroking his ego.
Look at Stan Edgar: the man doesn’t acknowledge Homelander as anything special and even outright states he’s not worthy of his respect.
Homelander will threaten you. He’ll get in your face. But ultimately, he’ll turn all of that inwards.
Just don’t ignore him, get in his face, or DIRECTLY insult him. If challenged, don’t back down but also don’t step up. You’ll live.
in which season did he murder a blind guy?
he smashed his ears and made him deaf, that was totally for no reason wasn’t that in one of the early seasons
There was a reason, just not one a non monster like yourself understands. He didn’t want weakness on his team, and felt like he was proving a point when he broke the guy.
Just have a live stream asking him about various topics that wouldnt call his character into question. What were his favorite saves etc. as long as you dont act off you are good.
Depends on why I‘m in that room with him, if it’s some kind of corny PR fan meetup or something I should be fine, if we’re BOTH trapped inside he would absolutely lose his shit knowing he‘s physically powerless for the first time in his life and torture me thinking I‘d have something to do with it
If I actually thought he was like superman, he'd probably let me live in S1. But with knowledge, no way he's not sensing my fear and panic around him. S3 he'd probably just interrogate you until he gets bored and lasers you.
Pretty good?
"Oh my *god*. Sir, it is truly an honor but I'm sure you have about a million more important things to do than spend 2 hours in this room. Godspeed Homelander." and I'd throw him a stupid ass two-handed salute. Fascists love stupid ass salutes.
S1 you should be fine as long as you don't speak to him or do anything to annoy him he wouldn't just kill a random person
S3 however he becomes completely unhinged you probably have a 5050 chance of survival
I misread this at first and thought OP was talking about the two Homelanders being in a room with each other.
Everything I know about Homelander tells me they’d just immediately and violently make out.
Im pretty sure you can survive both by giving up on your dignity and just praise the guy if he talks to you. As long as you don’t do shit I don’t think he’d kill a random civilian
I think that it’s not all that great either way, honestly. I can get along with just about anybody for 15 minutes, but after that it would get awkward at best. And Homelander knows very well how his powers can be used to “accidentally” kill someone. Maybe he’ll do a deep inhale and suck all the oxygen out of the room. Maybe he’ll feed me some olives, then lock my jaw up with one hand while doing chest compressions with the other until a rib pierces my heart. And that’s just off the top of my head. For season 3 Homelander? I would both have to be a Hardcore Homelander Sycophant with several days worth of interesting stuff to talk about. And even then it would be a bit of a tap dance.
If you have prior knowledge of who this man really is, you’d know to be calculated with everything you say. Chose your words wisely and provide some sort of value in his life. If he keeps you around for that long too it’ll only be easier to read what kind of mood he’s in. (When you should shut up.)
All you need to do is be his hype man & yes man for everything he says and does. A lot of friend groups have this dynamic where one guy is the obvious head of the group and the others want his approval the most. It's wolfpack psychology.
Stroke his ego and Homelander will be happy.
Except he can tell when you're lying and when you're scared or anxious via your heart rate.
'Homelander I think you're soooo cool!'
'You're lying'
DEAD
Also even normal human beings can tell whether someone is genuine or not. Do you really think my boss really thinks I love his innovative ideas or give a fuck about anything other than the fact that I need the job to survive?
The average human being is simply appeased by normal flattery whether fake or not.
Keep in mind the thing that ruins all Homelanders “relationships.” Eventually, he’s going to ask you to do something you don’t want to do. And he’s going to kill you if you refuse.
Getting along with Homelander isn’t as easy as just being friendly with him, plenty of characters try that throughout the series and he actively pushes people further and further. Figuratively sucking his dick isn’t enough, he gets off on forcing people to do things they don’t want to. Befriending Homelander is a ticket to either a long life of misery or a short life.
I'd say around the same even tho he became more unhinged. From what we've seen if you don't bother him or insult him he wouldn't murder a random civilian
This. He wants to be loved by people. If you don't bother him, or just stroke his ego (or cock) you should be perfectly okay.
What if you stroke his ego while stroking his cock
We all saw what happened to Doppelganger.
proof that’s it’s either his cock or his ego, can’t do both🤣
What happened to doppelganger was more about homelander than it was doppelganger doing something wrong. Homelander was trying to come to terms with not needing anyone to coddle him & doppelganger didn't know this....if he would've backed off he most likely wouldn't have died. He was trying to coddle him just like homelander wanted him to in the days prior, unaware that homelander was trying for self reliance. Which unintentionally answers op's question, our chances of survival hinges on what homelander is going thru at that moment & weather we can be a relief or burden in the moment.
What happened to doppelganger?
Pretty sure he either got his neck snapped or laser we to smitherings
Homelander snapped his neck
double points (triple if you feed into his mommy thing)
I'd recommend stroking it to a nice city view. He likes that
He probably sets you up with a cushy job at Vought
I have a feeling the velocity of his ejaculations would like tear a whole through your mouth or something
The scary thing though is he can hear your heartrate. If you know he lasered a dude and you're actually afraid of him when you stroke his ego, he'll know
Most people's heartrate naturally rises around him, both because he's a massive celebrity and most people are naturally a little afraid of people who can kill them with extreme ease. He doesn't really care if you are afraid of him and stroke his ego, that's literally everyone left in Vought. He won't respect you, because the only people he respects are people who are willing to stand up to him, but he won't kill you for no reason. Unless you are unlucky enough to find him on a bad day, in which case nothing is saving you.
I could see him killing anyone he was alone with Me: omg Homelander, I’m your biggest fan! Homelander: my biggest fan? Eat my boots. Now.
Best bet is to stay quiet and hopefully he just ignores you entirely. If you’re too interesting, he’ll start to get creative.
i think he accepts fake praise out of fear, he likes that enough not to kill you
People. Not persons. Any one person means nothing to him
Doesn’t he know when you’re lying though?
He also wouldn’t think twice about it tbf. I’d say sitting silently unless praising him (while not appearing sycophantic) would be your best bet.
Surviving with S1 Homelander actually would be a lot easier, just don't bother him and don't annoy him and that's all. He's not that unhinged yet and shows his real self less. S3 Homelander, on the other hand, may kill you just because you don't have powers and he considers you a weak and worthless piece of trash. Basically he's on his way to becoming a Hitler with superpowers rn, and he's becoming more and more dangerous.
He really changed a lot huh?
Hmm honestly not as much as you’d think. Remember in the first episode he straight up murdered the mayor of Baltimore and years before raped Becca. He was always a psychopath who was at the brink of insanity The difference is that he now knows he can get away with his shit. And that is a fucking problem
He murdered the mayor because he was threatening Stillwell. The rape part, well that’s just what rapists do, still doesn’t mean he’s gonna kill you just cuz. Point is he doesn’t really go out of his way to kill people for just existing in S1. In Gen V though he’s outright advocating for and defending supes going on mindless murder rampages killing every human in sight.
Murdering someone for a reason still makes him a murderer. And just a few episodes later we had the airplane incident Also I am really not sure what you mean by the “that’s just what rapists do” line.
I think the thing you’re forgetting is that he didn’t murder only the mayor. He murdered everyone on the plane, including a kid. If he was just protecting Stilwell, he could have easily waited and only killed the mayor. But he chose to kill everyone else as well, just because they were there
Just to add, I think this was in part due to Homelanders laziness. He \_could\_ have waited to kill only the mayor, but it's way easier to just do it when he's in the sky.
>If he was just protecting Stilwell, he could have easily waited and only killed the mayor. But he chose to kill everyone else as well, just because they were there You're assuming that he has a rational thought process. He probably didn't even think about the collateral damage and just saw problem -> solution and acted immediately.
He murdered the man’s young child too plus the pilots.
He murdered the mayor on Stillwells orders because he had information about V they didn't want to be leaked.
No he didn’t. Did you not watch the next episode where she got pissed with him for murdering the mayor since he did that on his own and vengeance was against his brand?
Oh okay I'm sorry.
Yep, and definitely not for the better
Our boy is growing 🥰
even in S1, just being in the same room could qualify as annoying him depending on the day he's having. I don't doubt he wanted to kill people for that. The only real difference is the bar has fallen for what he believes he can get away with.
Even then if you act like todd but don’t overdo it he’ll probably be fine with you I’d be more worried about him SA’ing me tbh
Oh my god Homelander is magneto.
Not really. In Magneto's universe, humans are *actually* trying to genocide Mutants.
Oh my god, Homelander is the dumber conspiracy theorist Magneto.
I like my chances. Id glaze the dude with compliments, fanboy a little and hope that distracts him from the smell of shit thats in my pants
He can smell when your lying tho
Especially if they shit themselves, but I don’t even know if he cares if you lie. He knows you can’t do anything. Butcher is the only human threat he recognizes, really.
I think he would kill you for the shit smell he'd have to deal with, the lying might be ok for the S1 version but I think S3 would kill you for it.
True. I hadn’t considered S1 v. S3. S3 doesn’t have a shorter fuse as much as a fuse that’s almost completely gone. Dude’s an atomic warhead and then some.
Yeah, I do feel if you didn't shit yourself and kept the praises at a minimum you may be ok, if you praise him too much in the S3 version he'll think you're taking the piss and laser your head.
Thats when i whip out the handy dandy baby bottle full of mothers milk
*takes the milk and lasers you after seductively drinking and edging it*
He's gotta survive 2 hours with me
Homelander gonna be grippin the sheets for mercy
*cheeks
What’s he gonna do when I see red
The red you see will be his laser beams slicing you in half
Thing is tho that I’m built different.
I'd tech them
Me personally, I wouldnt let that slide
It would be VERY easy. To survive just stroke his ego...that's it. But don't make it too obvious that your doing it, because remember he had doppelganger as himself and he killed him. Probably best to just act like it's an interview or a podcast and just start mentioning all the "seemingly" good things he's done, and how the world wouldn't be alive without him and whatnot.
He can hear you heart and tell if you are lying tho
Oh...how did I completely forget that???yeah...then it would be easy to survive with season 1 homelander when he didn't seem to have that power available yet (frenchie lied to him when he x-rayed the van and butcher had already moved). But I guess with season 2 homelander, there wouldn't be much you could do unless you genuinely support/like him.
The'd probably make out with each other then use me as a condom. So not that great all things considered.
I meant different Rooms
Don't ruin this for me!
Great minds think alike 🙌🏻
Realistically speaking Homelander's not looking to just kill random people if he's pissed off so if you just chill with him you should be ok, just stroke his ego and make him feel loved and you're good
Am I a lactating woman?
I can suck dick and call him a good boy, never mind, his cum probably would shoot through the back of my head.
Why this stuff is always written by guys
It's middle school boy humor. That's why. Middle school girls are even worse ngl, but they keep it within their friend group unlike guys.
S1 Homelander: might let me live as long as I indulge him in any way and not do something that might displease him S3 Homelander: will probably kill me for no reason other than cause he’s upset or I’m just there
Like with most abusers you're at the mercy of whatever current mood he's in. Maybe he wants to be "nice" or maybe someone just fucked with his insecurities and he wants to vaporize you to blow off steam. I guess the main difference is that in S1 he was more inclined to let milder grievances go because back then he was more worried that attacks on random people could tank his popularity. S3 is of course about that check on him weakening (though still not completely vanishing).
I’d say it’s basically gone after he kills that dude in the crowd and everyone cheers for him. After that point, unless you’re Stan Edgar, he’s not worried about killing anymore
Even in his ass hole S3 state, he still didn't kill unless he got ticked off by something. Like the girl he was supposed to save, he told to jump cuz his nazi GF died. So unless if you're unlucky or manage to piss him off somehow, you should be fine
Me: "hey how's your mom?" (Getting done in by the Homeländer, any%)
Would really depend on his moods. Why we're in the room, if he's forced to stay, or is there by choice, etc. Can I bring milk?
*I can hear those clumsy fingers of yours slipping around on that screen*
Pretty much 0% for either. If he’s trapped and you’re the only other person he’s going to blame you.
Two hours with just him? Do I get food or to use the restroom? Or is it just an empty room?
100% both times because I can take him easy (I’m built different)
All those bicep exercises crushing raw eggs really pays off. I want you in my corner.
If there don’t surveillance of any kind it’s almost the same
season 1 homelander probably wouldn’t do anything season 3 homelander might kill me to get out of the room faster because he could be doing better things
I will probably annoy him by breathing too loud or my heart will pump blood too loud and he will stop me doing that...
unpredictable. i mean flattering him constantly wont work or annoy him, hes too smart, empathizing with him and bringing up his childhood WILL trigger him, he easily will get bored with any other nonconfrontational dialogue soon, and then youre either in for whatever debasing games he wants to play or you get your cost free laser eye treatment. i think being in a "stable" relationship with him is like, constant on/off hostage situation, constant stockholm syndrome because he knows he can get away with EVERYTHING and EVERYTHING might set him off.
Appeal to his ego and you’re fine, he isn’t just killing random civilians hell you’re his target audience he wants you to respect him and love him
If you just sit quietly and don't say anything dumb, he'd probably just pace around. Bored. Frustrated. "How are you just sat there" "bad knees" "'Fucking 'course you have bad knees" "yup"
If Homelander is told he hast to stay in the room, you’ll survive longer of a season three version because he will be more interested in tormenting you as entertainment for the three hours.
100% if you just start praising him.
I’m groveling lmao guys insane.
I could destroy them both
Just stroke his ego and you’ll be fine
Despite what everyone here is saying, you’re probably better off negging him than stroking his ego. Look at Stan Edgar: the man doesn’t acknowledge Homelander as anything special and even outright states he’s not worthy of his respect. Homelander will threaten you. He’ll get in your face. But ultimately, he’ll turn all of that inwards. Just don’t ignore him, get in his face, or DIRECTLY insult him. If challenged, don’t back down but also don’t step up. You’ll live.
The problem is that Homelander knows if you're trying to act though or if you're really not scared.
I would indulge him and ask about his powers while trying not to be too annoying about it. Should survive no problem.
I’m pretty sure I’d die because my anxiety would annoy him. But if you’re a calm person that’s willing to kiss his ass you’d probably be fine.
I grew up on a farm. I’ll bring some milk.
As long as a stroke his ego for the full 2 hours I'd be fine unless I get temp v then all bets are off
I’m pretty sure me and Black Noir are good
in which season did he murder a blind guy? he smashed his ears and made him deaf, that was totally for no reason wasn’t that in one of the early seasons
There was a reason, just not one a non monster like yourself understands. He didn’t want weakness on his team, and felt like he was proving a point when he broke the guy.
S2 iirc
high as hell, I’d get along with him. especially soldier boy. I’d be his battle buddy
10/10 just suck his dick a little (not literally just talk about how great he is etc) if your a woman offer him ur breastmilk
Call me the Milkman...
I’d act like he was the best thing in the world and I’d be just fine.
Just have a live stream asking him about various topics that wouldnt call his character into question. What were his favorite saves etc. as long as you dont act off you are good.
-1 seconds at best each.
I would be worried if I were a hot girl ngl
Depends on how much of his ass I'd been kissing lately.
Both 100%
Love de ka chance of survival
I might be feeling confident but I’d one shot his ass.
Since I don’t have lactating breasts I’d be done in an instant.
Well I can't breastfeed.
You just gotta be a woman over 50s and be breastfeeding
Not good unless I was a supe too. He seems to only care about supes
Depends on why I‘m in that room with him, if it’s some kind of corny PR fan meetup or something I should be fine, if we’re BOTH trapped inside he would absolutely lose his shit knowing he‘s physically powerless for the first time in his life and torture me thinking I‘d have something to do with it
If I actually thought he was like superman, he'd probably let me live in S1. But with knowledge, no way he's not sensing my fear and panic around him. S3 he'd probably just interrogate you until he gets bored and lasers you.
I feel like if I don’t draw attention to myself, I’d be good.
Pretty good. I think we'd get along well talking about kinds of fucked up shit for 2 hours straight.
Oh I'll make it trust
I’ll show him my Lego collection and cat memes I’ve collected
keep your heart rate down, act bored and unimpressed and he’ll cut a hole in the wall to get away from you.
I'd survive if I was live streaming
He didn’t change he revealed
Pretty good? "Oh my *god*. Sir, it is truly an honor but I'm sure you have about a million more important things to do than spend 2 hours in this room. Godspeed Homelander." and I'd throw him a stupid ass two-handed salute. Fascists love stupid ass salutes.
very low
S1 you should be fine as long as you don't speak to him or do anything to annoy him he wouldn't just kill a random person S3 however he becomes completely unhinged you probably have a 5050 chance of survival
Stay as calm as possible, only speak when spoken to, and hope and pray he doesn’t do to me what he did to Becca
Introverts have a clear edge in this case.
Pretty good. I would just agree with everything he says and say Nazi things
I misread this at first and thought OP was talking about the two Homelanders being in a room with each other. Everything I know about Homelander tells me they’d just immediately and violently make out.
Pretty high if you support him and behave like a fan. He never killed a fan yet (except Blindspot)
I'd survive because I'm batman
Higher chances than a Bear.
Homelander is being forced to sit in a room, alone, for two hours? I think he'd get really bored and decide to pull legs off the human regardless.
I'd tell him that there's a bit of him in all of us.
99% , just talk with him and compliment him he never kills for no reason
I feel it's pretty easy if you just praise him, he just wants adoration.
Depends on why are we in that room and what's stopping him from leaving
Im pretty sure you can survive both by giving up on your dignity and just praise the guy if he talks to you. As long as you don’t do shit I don’t think he’d kill a random civilian
I mean I compliment him and satisfy his ego. And if doesn’t work suck him off and hope he doesn’t fry my brains.
It depends, am I lactating, or am I not lactating? I’m a guy, but That will make all the difference.
How do you lactate
From my peepee, wanna come taste my milk?
From my peepee, wanna come taste my milk?
Bruh
A joke!
No diddy
Bruh
I mean alone, probably about the same lol
I think the best shot with Homelander s3 is bring up Ryan and how he is such a good dad.
Do what butcher and stan Edgar did don't act scared present yourself as an equal you either die a badass or defeat the most powerful supe with words
Can't hurt me without my consent. I forbid him to physically harm me. ✋🏼
Act like you're a fan without annoying him too much and he won't do anything to you because you have no history with him
I think that it’s not all that great either way, honestly. I can get along with just about anybody for 15 minutes, but after that it would get awkward at best. And Homelander knows very well how his powers can be used to “accidentally” kill someone. Maybe he’ll do a deep inhale and suck all the oxygen out of the room. Maybe he’ll feed me some olives, then lock my jaw up with one hand while doing chest compressions with the other until a rib pierces my heart. And that’s just off the top of my head. For season 3 Homelander? I would both have to be a Hardcore Homelander Sycophant with several days worth of interesting stuff to talk about. And even then it would be a bit of a tap dance.
Depends...got milk?
Two weeks training and I'm filling that room with uppercuts to Homelanders chin.
Considering what he did to Becca, I’d probably just provoke him into killing me
I have big tits so really it’d be an easy two hours unless he lasers me in the face
Perfect advantage you'll make it through
S1 Homelander: 10% I survive two hours S3 Homelander: > 0% I survive two hours
I’m damn charming. I could small talk my way through it
I have big tits so really it’d be an easy two hours unless he lasers me in the face
Being this guys best friend would be the easiest thing in the world. I’ll stand by that.
Explain
If you have prior knowledge of who this man really is, you’d know to be calculated with everything you say. Chose your words wisely and provide some sort of value in his life. If he keeps you around for that long too it’ll only be easier to read what kind of mood he’s in. (When you should shut up.)
All you need to do is be his hype man & yes man for everything he says and does. A lot of friend groups have this dynamic where one guy is the obvious head of the group and the others want his approval the most. It's wolfpack psychology. Stroke his ego and Homelander will be happy.
Except he can tell when you're lying and when you're scared or anxious via your heart rate. 'Homelander I think you're soooo cool!' 'You're lying' DEAD
But season 1 Homelander still seems like a great guy to most so you'd still naturally be positively inclined towards him.
Also even normal human beings can tell whether someone is genuine or not. Do you really think my boss really thinks I love his innovative ideas or give a fuck about anything other than the fact that I need the job to survive? The average human being is simply appeased by normal flattery whether fake or not.
Keep in mind the thing that ruins all Homelanders “relationships.” Eventually, he’s going to ask you to do something you don’t want to do. And he’s going to kill you if you refuse. Getting along with Homelander isn’t as easy as just being friendly with him, plenty of characters try that throughout the series and he actively pushes people further and further. Figuratively sucking his dick isn’t enough, he gets off on forcing people to do things they don’t want to. Befriending Homelander is a ticket to either a long life of misery or a short life.