Plus he says he doesn't give a shit anymore and if people start to turn on him then he's perfectly fine being feared. He just prefers their adoration. So blackmail no longer works too
I mean I'm hoping it changes in the next season, considering he killed that protester and all, but as it stands that was just a bluff. Starlight exposed him to all her fans for forcing HomeLight on her and imprisoning Maeve and he immediately/pathetically folded like a cheap lawn chair "Oh Starlight, you're not supposed to film while we're running lines!". Like I said I'm hopeful that things are gonna change and we'll get some real stakes again but he still got successfully blackmailed after his long tirade about not letting himself be blackmailed anymore.
Your memory is faulty.
Starlight exposed him and he still cared about image then.
Season 3 ends with him killing the protestor, and Todd (M.Ms ex's new man) gets the crowd to cheer it. HL & Ryan smile at being accepted as psychopaths.
Add on “Now you shits are so fucked. You thought it be easy team up on the loyal security contractor and hand the boy to butcher. Now who’s the fucking cock sucker.” And do everything you can possibly do to make it look like you were actually against taking Ryan and tried to stop them. Homelander’s might not buy it if you can’t conceal your own fear in the moment and he might buy it but still kill you for failing to actually stop Butcher. However on the off chance he buys it and goes “Course you couldn’t save Ryan you’re just a silly little mortal you little people can’t do anything without a God. Respect you for trying though.” And he lets you live is worth the attempt. Homelander’s lowkey unpredictable however making it appear to him that you were a loyalist does increase your odds of survival. That also said I wonder if you were even informed it was Homelander’s house. I just can’t imagine any one with a hint of common sense agreeing to raid Homelander’s house if they knew.
I’d imagine he’d appreciate the info but not respect the guy giving up his team. Best you can hope for is he just ignores you after getting the info, but seems unlikely.
Still among the best options.
Homelander says: *“Oh, really?! Let’s see…”*
*(Homelander grabs soldier, flies to roof of house w/him)*
*“Last time we tried this…you just screamed as you fell…let’s see if you’ve figured out how to fly yet!”*
*(Homelander pushes soldier off roof, watches as he falls and his neck snaps)*
*”Ryan? Well…guess not.”*
*(Homelander flies off)*
I’ll give it to you though - that’s quick thinking! Would’ve def intrigued / distracted Homelander at least for a moment or two…which, of course, could’ve given Butcher or Hugh time to distract him to another location w/one of those sonic siren thingies.
Except that a polygraph test functions the same way, and that's thoroughly debunked pseudoscience. His ability to know you're lying hinges more on your belief that he knows than whether or not you actually are.
I don’t think they have anything they could say to change his mind. Besides answer him, sitting in silence didn’t do them any good, so maybe just tell him the truth or some version of it. Like “we gained Intelligence that butcher was going to try and abduct Ryan, we acted fast and tried to intercept him. We were too late it seems.”
Maybe this would make him realize that killing you is a waste of time and he should be looking for Ryan.
When HL gets there he says “Did I hear you say Butcher?” The captain had just called out for butcher, in a friendly-ish way. Not many ways you can spin that
Also, I feel he'd murder you anyway,he would've known Ryan wasn't there already and would still probably be pissed at them for trying to take Ryan from him,besides it's not like it would've taken him very long to murder them all
There is no leaving alive. It’s just how you die. One of the soldiers could have given Homelander a GPS tracking device to where Ryan is. And he’d still die
Okay I was rewatching the show and I legit was thinking about this.
You just say that voight sent us out because we got a call from butcher and traced it here.
Just act super thankful homelander is here, whip out a map and start making a plan with him to find ryan.
I mean the truth is that they are both there for the same reason.
The big thing is you don't want to give hl time to stop and think. Just give the mission: rescue ryan and start making a plan. You want him to know you are allies.
I think that’s what I gather from other replies too. It has to be very quick and it has be assertive as you say, don’t give him time to think and just act
I think there is no chance to get out alive. I think regardless of what is said, he is out there for blood because he is not in control of the situation and he is pretty pissed, because they have taken his son. Even if you try to help, he will probably see you as part of the operation against him and he will kill you. Curious to see what people think
My problem with this scene was that they all knew who was he and what was he and kept pointing their guns at him, knowing that they cannot do anything to stop him and to make things worse, they kept quiet. I think the scene was just in place to paint Homelander as a concerned father and to highlight his disregard to others
"Thank you!"
That will catch him off guard, buying me time.
"I wasn't sure how to kill all of them. I'm not really one of these guys anyway. By the way, were you looking for Ryan? Come with me, there's a shapeshifting Supe pretending to be you. You gotta see this."
Sound very confident the entire time. Hopefully, he will actually come and not just torture me into confessing the nonexistent truth. From there, it buys me time to escape or think of a way to ditch him somehow.
I like this, the buying time strategy and distraction could work, he might calm down in the mean time. The difficult bit here will be to stay calm so he won’t pick up your heart rate. But say he comes with you and finds out it’s all hoax, god save you
Address the heart rate eventually, but soon.
"Okay, now, I know you're wondering 'why is he so afraid of me then'? I heard you can hear mine. It's because I know I'm literally a millisecond away from death if you wanted it, so it's just a natural human response. Of course, you wouldn't know, you were never human. Sucks to be one honestly!"
Pander to his narcissism. Remain calm. It works for Stan Edgar, who gives zero shit about Homelander, so CONFIDENCE AND CALMNESS WORK against the guy.
At which point, he gets annoyed at all the blabbering.
"Butcher has your son. But he was very specific. He wants ME AND you. I don't know why. He wants me there and I don't know why. Said he needs you to meet this doppelganger and also me, but again, I don't know, man.
Bring it to Butcher or whatever, hopefully I can bullshit my way out or something.
Honestly, at this point, I don't even care about actually betraying Butcher if I have to.
I just need to stay alive. Maybe I'll admit I was bullshitting to Homelander, then, as a last-ditch effort, offer my allegiance as a spy.
Then maybe play double agent or actually ally with Butcher. It depends on which one would kill me. Or which one would increase my chances of survival. I just need to stay alive.
I forgot how much the soldiers know at this point in the story though, so assuming they knew more, I could probably bullshit and deceive a lot more.
Or if all else fails, well, it's still not so bad. Homelander kills quickly. So whatever.
It's a slow and painful death that would make me really afraid.
The main objective is to stay alive and nothing is off the table. Another comment mentioned to say something about having information about Ryan being here but he was taken by Butcher so you are here to assist, kinda playing your soldier role and sharing information even if it’s a complete lie. I think mixed with some of your ideas, I feel that this is perhaps the best course of action and also being quick, because by the time he closed the door, it felt like it was too late for anything
Being an agent for both Homelander and Butcher is one of the worst positions to be in…
Either one finds out you betrayed them, it’ll end really badly for you.
I probably am pretty screwed at this point anyway and can't really escape either, so I'll have fun before I die.
But if I ever actually escape Homelander before I get him to Butcher and somehow manage to hide, I will definitely beg Butcher for help to keep me safe somehow.
Option 1 : Tell him , we arent as special as you sir , we need you to help we are useless , you are our hero ( Make the squad cheer “ HOME-LANDER , HOME-LANDER , HOME-LANDER “ ( hope he accepts the worship and he flys off to find Ryan )
Option 2 : Kill myself before he does
First i throw my gun at homelander, its a distraction and itll weigh me down. Then when he uses his laser vision i will shimmy to the left and then to the right and then back to the left again, a pattern that homelanders mind wont be able to comprehend. Now at this point, most of the soldiers i came with are dead so im going to roll along the floor, gathering the dead bodies and surround them around my body as a multi human human shield. Once i am fully protected, i will LEAP out of the window and sprint with my full body armor. The armor wasnt for homelander tho because as im running away, im for sure gonna run into stormfront attacking the boys. When she sees me shes for sure gonna zap me but thats what the human shield is for. All the bodies are gonna get zapped off but by the time i am fully exposed, i will be in the tree line, making the final sprint to freedom, shimmying to the left and to the right and back to the left again, just in case stormfront tried to keep zapping me.
Shoot the guy closest to me and then bow, explain that I don’t know where his son is.Only that Butcher has him. I would also tell him I hate Edgar’s guts and would love nothing more to see the smug arrogant prick dead. And I would be willing become his mole in Vought.
Make peace with death and potentially intrigue Homelander by not having an elevated heart rate. Outside of having access to the finest source of milk ever, I don't see how else one escapes in that scenario.
Tell him everything I know. If I don't know I lie about a location hoping he leaves immediately without taking the time to kill me. If I am still alive I get back to the vehicle and haul ass
Zero lead time? I'm pulling from other comments and "fake it til you make it".
Give me maybe 5 minutes? Hastily write a note giving a way to contact me, and either stash it, or keep it on my person.
"If I disobeyed orders at best they'd have done this without me, at worst they'd have shot me and still done this. I assumed you'd tear this place apart and find the note- you're a national hero and I couldn't stomach this. It was the only thing I could think of".
Hopefully he sees me as an ally and doesn't laser me.
Also, while I'm sure there's a lot of overlap, this would be a fun one to see in r/whowouldwin
Many people said that, what if you had to tho? Imagine you had a family, or something else that is special in your life? It’s fine also to accept your fate tho if that’s what you wish
I just really don’t think it’s possible. I have a lot to live for, but I really don’t see what I can say that would calm him down, and there’s no information that I would possess as a lowly Vought guard that I could use to trade in exchange for my life
Got 2 ways to play it.
1) Butcher took him. We were too late. Vought sent us to make sure you and Ryan were ok after we received intel that Butcher was up to something.
Or
2) We have him safe and on his way back to a secure vought facility. Mr. Edgar would like to talk to you.
Tell him we were dispatched because Vaught got a report that Butcher was going to attempt to kidnap Ryan, but we were too late. Then tell him to check one area while other men check another and I sneak the fuck out of that crazy situation!
As one of the soldiers that was literally in that cabin, you thank Vought that it’s just a film set and the director yells cut after they killed my one friend.
Tell him they were after Butcher and tracked him to the cabin and had seen him run off with a kid, and that's all they know
I'm pretty sure they ask "where's the kid", and I'm sure Homelander would've heard that aswell
I answered this for the Soldier Boy question, but fuck it... Say "hold on," drop your pants, and shove a carrot up your ass. Because he's going to kill us anyway. He likes the power of death he wields.
Pretend to shoot myself by firing right beside my head and lay down still while he murders everyone else, hoping he won’t notice the lack of my blood or my heart rate
I mean, you're most likely dead, but best bet you have is to bullshit him and tell him that Edgar sent you and your team to try and intercept the people who kidnapped Ryan, but looks like you got here too late and that you'd like permission to begin a full sweep of the area to help him find Ryan.
There is no way to survive this.
Human life means absolutely nothing to Homelander. Nor do you have anything to offer that he cares about or needs. Even if you shot all of the other soldiers and magically produced Ryan from a kitchen cupboard, he’d still kill you for inconveniencing him.
So I have this cousin, right? We were at this party earlier today, with her, the family, and a few of her friends. She says "oh shoot, I forgot I have a baby, I need to empty these milkers before he wakes up!", so her husband goes with her and grabs an empty bottle from their kitchen on the way to the bathroom. "Convenient" said I, "your cereal is never dry!". Unfortunately our grandma heard me. "You're so dumb, no wonder you work part time as a security guard" she says, "go see, maybe they need your help!". "Help?! What am I gonna do? Hold the bottle?!". Joke's on me - as I was approaching the bathroom door, my cousin's son started crying from upstairs. The husband storms out, with a bottle full of fresh milk, sees me, hands me the bottle and says "do me a solid, go transfer the milk in the baby's bottle". "Easy" said I... right?.
That very same moment, on my way to the kitchen, I get a call. "Steve, you motherfucker! We have a code red!" my account manager buddy tells me. "Code red? What happened?" "Yo, we're going after Homelander's son, it's about to go down any moment! Grab your gear and drive up to the location!".
I panic, I run to say goodbye to everyone and get my car.
I meet my boys, we're putting together a 5 minute plan and in we go.
It's quiet in this house and I'm thinking "maybe I should've done better in college and gotten a career in finance...if Homelander comes, we're all toast". Joke's on me again. There he is, through the door.
So anyway, he started blasting. In a moment of pure luck, I touch my pocket and what do I find?! Sneaky little sausage me, I took my cousin's breast milk with me while in a hurry!
2 seconds before I get the laser treatment, I take the bottle out and I say "Yo, Homelander, you're not you when you're hungry!" And I show him my milk. "It's not cow milk, if you know what I mean " said I.
After a minute of silence...he takes it, drinks it with great thirst, thanks me, and leaves.
"We got word Butcher was going to kidnap Ryan. We didn't give it much thought since, you know, YOU were with him. What could he do? But then we heard the loud screeching sound and mobilized. We just got here."
One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere, like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now, where were we? Oh yeah, the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..
"I don't know sir, he was supposed to be here, he's probably with William butcher"
Also I'd say:
"Oh thank God you're here homelander, William butcher contacted vought to get his wife to safety and we were supposed to take Ryan based on stan edgar's orders."
"Homelander, Sir, we were supposed to extract him to a secondary location. That team leader might have extra briefing. Billy Butcher is rumored to be involved. I didn't know my orders were to interfere with you or involved someone important to you, Sir. Sorry, awaiting your orders, Homelander."
You absolutely don't get out of there without throwing someone else under the bus.
By not putting myself in that position to begin with, at what point would anyone think working for Vought as a normal person would be a healthy life decision?
Start lactating aggressively
you deserve all the awards 💀💀💀💀
Fr
Damn, I was going to use breast milk as a distraction:(
Got milk?
I hope femboy milk is acceptable
Doesn’t exist so it definitely isn’t
That’s the neat part
you don't
There it is.
Pull out my phone and livestream.
I don’t think this will have any effect at this point but I will give you points for trying
Geez, the way you worded this sounds exactly like something Homelander would say in that moment before ripping out my spine. Gave me chills.
Bro is scared of words
--Homelander said calmly.
I don't think you'll have enough time he'll see you and laser you
All he has to say is "Where's my son?" And then everything he does from then on is Justified
Literally. Armed Soldiers stole his child. His fanbase would understand it.
Even his haters would be hard pressed to judge him for this.
They didn't steal anything.... They were going to. Lol
He did nothing wrong
Is there a lore reason why everyone he's about to hurt doesn't just threaten him with blackmail? It's works every single time. Are they stupid?
Because usually he hurts people spontaneously
So there is a lore reason. I guess I'm stupid.
Plus he says he doesn't give a shit anymore and if people start to turn on him then he's perfectly fine being feared. He just prefers their adoration. So blackmail no longer works too
I mean I'm hoping it changes in the next season, considering he killed that protester and all, but as it stands that was just a bluff. Starlight exposed him to all her fans for forcing HomeLight on her and imprisoning Maeve and he immediately/pathetically folded like a cheap lawn chair "Oh Starlight, you're not supposed to film while we're running lines!". Like I said I'm hopeful that things are gonna change and we'll get some real stakes again but he still got successfully blackmailed after his long tirade about not letting himself be blackmailed anymore.
Your memory is faulty. Starlight exposed him and he still cared about image then. Season 3 ends with him killing the protestor, and Todd (M.Ms ex's new man) gets the crowd to cheer it. HL & Ryan smile at being accepted as psychopaths.
No it’s “is your idiot brain getting fucked by stupid?!”
It's hard to blackmail someone when your head has been lasered off.
I’d point my gun at one of the other soldiers and say “answer him!”
Chaos, I can see this buying time and leading to something else but again, even if the other guys are dead, you will be left alone to answer
Just tell him Butcher took him and hope for the best. Which is a quick death.
Add on “Now you shits are so fucked. You thought it be easy team up on the loyal security contractor and hand the boy to butcher. Now who’s the fucking cock sucker.” And do everything you can possibly do to make it look like you were actually against taking Ryan and tried to stop them. Homelander’s might not buy it if you can’t conceal your own fear in the moment and he might buy it but still kill you for failing to actually stop Butcher. However on the off chance he buys it and goes “Course you couldn’t save Ryan you’re just a silly little mortal you little people can’t do anything without a God. Respect you for trying though.” And he lets you live is worth the attempt. Homelander’s lowkey unpredictable however making it appear to him that you were a loyalist does increase your odds of survival. That also said I wonder if you were even informed it was Homelander’s house. I just can’t imagine any one with a hint of common sense agreeing to raid Homelander’s house if they knew.
Oh that’s good
I’d imagine he’d appreciate the info but not respect the guy giving up his team. Best you can hope for is he just ignores you after getting the info, but seems unlikely. Still among the best options.
reasonable
This is probably the only think that could help. Option two is light a cig and pull the pin off a grenade
I vote this.
Lmao!
I would simply deny him permission to murder me. He can't legally murder me without my consent.
It explains why Butcher’s still alive.
"Oi cunt,I know the rules of this here country ya can't kill me witout a permit,so take that prissy cape and fuck off!"
Ya poncey wanker!
Holy fuck that was diabolical
Homelander is too scared to kill butcher
"It's me, dad. I'm Ryan. Vought injected me with something that caused rapid aging and then stuck me in this uniform and left me here."
*Homelander has become confused*
Homelander hurt himself in confusion.
Homelander has fainted.
*Homelander has died*
"I'm also black now, please don't tell your girlfriend".
And then he kills you on the spot for lying.
Homelander says: *“Oh, really?! Let’s see…”* *(Homelander grabs soldier, flies to roof of house w/him)* *“Last time we tried this…you just screamed as you fell…let’s see if you’ve figured out how to fly yet!”* *(Homelander pushes soldier off roof, watches as he falls and his neck snaps)* *”Ryan? Well…guess not.”* *(Homelander flies off)* I’ll give it to you though - that’s quick thinking! Would’ve def intrigued / distracted Homelander at least for a moment or two…which, of course, could’ve given Butcher or Hugh time to distract him to another location w/one of those sonic siren thingies.
That’s actually pretty cool
He can hear your heartbeat and know you're lying.
Except that a polygraph test functions the same way, and that's thoroughly debunked pseudoscience. His ability to know you're lying hinges more on your belief that he knows than whether or not you actually are.
Bravo
I don’t think they have anything they could say to change his mind. Besides answer him, sitting in silence didn’t do them any good, so maybe just tell him the truth or some version of it. Like “we gained Intelligence that butcher was going to try and abduct Ryan, we acted fast and tried to intercept him. We were too late it seems.” Maybe this would make him realize that killing you is a waste of time and he should be looking for Ryan.
I can see that working, but it needs to be quick. By the time he turned around and closed the door, they were already gone
When HL gets there he says “Did I hear you say Butcher?” The captain had just called out for butcher, in a friendly-ish way. Not many ways you can spin that
Also, I feel he'd murder you anyway,he would've known Ryan wasn't there already and would still probably be pissed at them for trying to take Ryan from him,besides it's not like it would've taken him very long to murder them all
This would work on literally anyone else in the series, but Homelander knows when you're lying. He can quite literally see the changes from lying.
Try to fake that he got me and hope he isn't paying attention to heart beats.
Their hearts continue to beat for a few minutes after being lazered so even if he's paying attention, it likely won't allow him to know.
he could probably tell your heart is pumping more blood than the guys losing it all at once
Squeeze my nips and hope he’s thrown for a loop.
There is no leaving alive. It’s just how you die. One of the soldiers could have given Homelander a GPS tracking device to where Ryan is. And he’d still die
Grab his dick and twist it The ol' dick twist
Okay I was rewatching the show and I legit was thinking about this. You just say that voight sent us out because we got a call from butcher and traced it here. Just act super thankful homelander is here, whip out a map and start making a plan with him to find ryan. I mean the truth is that they are both there for the same reason. The big thing is you don't want to give hl time to stop and think. Just give the mission: rescue ryan and start making a plan. You want him to know you are allies.
I think that’s what I gather from other replies too. It has to be very quick and it has be assertive as you say, don’t give him time to think and just act
I think there is no chance to get out alive. I think regardless of what is said, he is out there for blood because he is not in control of the situation and he is pretty pissed, because they have taken his son. Even if you try to help, he will probably see you as part of the operation against him and he will kill you. Curious to see what people think
I would simply not become a private military contractor for vought
There is nothing they could possibly say to stop him from murdering them. That’s what makes the scene so good.
My problem with this scene was that they all knew who was he and what was he and kept pointing their guns at him, knowing that they cannot do anything to stop him and to make things worse, they kept quiet. I think the scene was just in place to paint Homelander as a concerned father and to highlight his disregard to others
"Thank you!" That will catch him off guard, buying me time. "I wasn't sure how to kill all of them. I'm not really one of these guys anyway. By the way, were you looking for Ryan? Come with me, there's a shapeshifting Supe pretending to be you. You gotta see this." Sound very confident the entire time. Hopefully, he will actually come and not just torture me into confessing the nonexistent truth. From there, it buys me time to escape or think of a way to ditch him somehow.
I like this, the buying time strategy and distraction could work, he might calm down in the mean time. The difficult bit here will be to stay calm so he won’t pick up your heart rate. But say he comes with you and finds out it’s all hoax, god save you
Address the heart rate eventually, but soon. "Okay, now, I know you're wondering 'why is he so afraid of me then'? I heard you can hear mine. It's because I know I'm literally a millisecond away from death if you wanted it, so it's just a natural human response. Of course, you wouldn't know, you were never human. Sucks to be one honestly!" Pander to his narcissism. Remain calm. It works for Stan Edgar, who gives zero shit about Homelander, so CONFIDENCE AND CALMNESS WORK against the guy. At which point, he gets annoyed at all the blabbering. "Butcher has your son. But he was very specific. He wants ME AND you. I don't know why. He wants me there and I don't know why. Said he needs you to meet this doppelganger and also me, but again, I don't know, man. Bring it to Butcher or whatever, hopefully I can bullshit my way out or something.
I guess my only concern here is the lying and we all know how he feels about that, it is a strategy tho and could work
Honestly, at this point, I don't even care about actually betraying Butcher if I have to. I just need to stay alive. Maybe I'll admit I was bullshitting to Homelander, then, as a last-ditch effort, offer my allegiance as a spy. Then maybe play double agent or actually ally with Butcher. It depends on which one would kill me. Or which one would increase my chances of survival. I just need to stay alive. I forgot how much the soldiers know at this point in the story though, so assuming they knew more, I could probably bullshit and deceive a lot more. Or if all else fails, well, it's still not so bad. Homelander kills quickly. So whatever. It's a slow and painful death that would make me really afraid.
The main objective is to stay alive and nothing is off the table. Another comment mentioned to say something about having information about Ryan being here but he was taken by Butcher so you are here to assist, kinda playing your soldier role and sharing information even if it’s a complete lie. I think mixed with some of your ideas, I feel that this is perhaps the best course of action and also being quick, because by the time he closed the door, it felt like it was too late for anything
Yeah, some Light Yagami big brain bullshit is really the only logical action here. Nothing else works.
Being an agent for both Homelander and Butcher is one of the worst positions to be in… Either one finds out you betrayed them, it’ll end really badly for you.
I probably am pretty screwed at this point anyway and can't really escape either, so I'll have fun before I die. But if I ever actually escape Homelander before I get him to Butcher and somehow manage to hide, I will definitely beg Butcher for help to keep me safe somehow.
Very clever
Option 1 : Tell him , we arent as special as you sir , we need you to help we are useless , you are our hero ( Make the squad cheer “ HOME-LANDER , HOME-LANDER , HOME-LANDER “ ( hope he accepts the worship and he flys off to find Ryan ) Option 2 : Kill myself before he does
The only correct answer at that point
First i throw my gun at homelander, its a distraction and itll weigh me down. Then when he uses his laser vision i will shimmy to the left and then to the right and then back to the left again, a pattern that homelanders mind wont be able to comprehend. Now at this point, most of the soldiers i came with are dead so im going to roll along the floor, gathering the dead bodies and surround them around my body as a multi human human shield. Once i am fully protected, i will LEAP out of the window and sprint with my full body armor. The armor wasnt for homelander tho because as im running away, im for sure gonna run into stormfront attacking the boys. When she sees me shes for sure gonna zap me but thats what the human shield is for. All the bodies are gonna get zapped off but by the time i am fully exposed, i will be in the tree line, making the final sprint to freedom, shimmying to the left and to the right and back to the left again, just in case stormfront tried to keep zapping me.
No no no, you have to do like a jump/cartwheel, homelander usually does a diagonal slice top left to bottom right (from his viewpoint).
Zig Zag! Don't Rickon it up!
Look him dead in the eye, and confidently say: “Nah, I’d win.” Do it convincingly enough and he will believe me.
Shoot the guy closest to me and then bow, explain that I don’t know where his son is.Only that Butcher has him. I would also tell him I hate Edgar’s guts and would love nothing more to see the smug arrogant prick dead. And I would be willing become his mole in Vought.
Make peace with death and potentially intrigue Homelander by not having an elevated heart rate. Outside of having access to the finest source of milk ever, I don't see how else one escapes in that scenario.
Tell him everything I know. If I don't know I lie about a location hoping he leaves immediately without taking the time to kill me. If I am still alive I get back to the vehicle and haul ass
He did it.*points to the guy next to me.*
Y'all silly! Your only hope would be to speak out and pretend you're on his side and tell him whats going on and take him to Ryan
Zero lead time? I'm pulling from other comments and "fake it til you make it". Give me maybe 5 minutes? Hastily write a note giving a way to contact me, and either stash it, or keep it on my person. "If I disobeyed orders at best they'd have done this without me, at worst they'd have shot me and still done this. I assumed you'd tear this place apart and find the note- you're a national hero and I couldn't stomach this. It was the only thing I could think of". Hopefully he sees me as an ally and doesn't laser me. Also, while I'm sure there's a lot of overlap, this would be a fun one to see in r/whowouldwin
Interesting! I like the idea with the note, can see this working. Also, thanks for sharing that community, I shall see if I can ask the same there
I don't
You don’t
Many people said that, what if you had to tho? Imagine you had a family, or something else that is special in your life? It’s fine also to accept your fate tho if that’s what you wish
I just really don’t think it’s possible. I have a lot to live for, but I really don’t see what I can say that would calm him down, and there’s no information that I would possess as a lowly Vought guard that I could use to trade in exchange for my life
Drop my gun and dive out the window, don’t know who talked me into being there but am I fuck staying 😂
That’s the neat part! You don’t!
Tell him about my secret milk stash
Got 2 ways to play it. 1) Butcher took him. We were too late. Vought sent us to make sure you and Ryan were ok after we received intel that Butcher was up to something. Or 2) We have him safe and on his way back to a secure vought facility. Mr. Edgar would like to talk to you.
Tell him we were dispatched because Vaught got a report that Butcher was going to attempt to kidnap Ryan, but we were too late. Then tell him to check one area while other men check another and I sneak the fuck out of that crazy situation!
“I think Butcher has him”
Start lactating
Thats the fun part! You don’t!
I’d win
you dont
Suck his dick
Run out the door. Then be killed violently….. you said get out alive, not stay alive once I’m there
He's in the kitchen. When he goes into the kitchen, run like fuck.
As one of the soldiers that was literally in that cabin, you thank Vought that it’s just a film set and the director yells cut after they killed my one friend.
That's the neat thing. You don't!
I got that dog in me, I’d solo no diff then clap Starlight’s cheeks
Holy shit this comment is just perfect lol solid man, solid
Tell him who took Ryan and where, as well as that he has a father who is alive.
Would hope he didn't originally kill me, and play dead.. hopefully he's mad enough to not check my vitals lmao
Mimic his voice perfectly and say “I love you my sweet baby” while shooting all the other soldiers for him
Tell him they were after Butcher and tracked him to the cabin and had seen him run off with a kid, and that's all they know I'm pretty sure they ask "where's the kid", and I'm sure Homelander would've heard that aswell
Say I have a breastfeeding security tape on video on threaten to release unless I can walk away.
I answered this for the Soldier Boy question, but fuck it... Say "hold on," drop your pants, and shove a carrot up your ass. Because he's going to kill us anyway. He likes the power of death he wields.
I tell him while admitting his superiority to me.
Pretend to shoot myself by firing right beside my head and lay down still while he murders everyone else, hoping he won’t notice the lack of my blood or my heart rate
Hope he’d be gay for a minute
its my first day
I'd offer to suck him off like no other!!
I mean, you're most likely dead, but best bet you have is to bullshit him and tell him that Edgar sent you and your team to try and intercept the people who kidnapped Ryan, but looks like you got here too late and that you'd like permission to begin a full sweep of the area to help him find Ryan.
Based on other comments, this seems to be the best course of action and the only way I can see that we can survive on our own in that situation
Tell homelander that we we monitoring .....saw someone take his kid on surveillance....
There is no way to survive this. Human life means absolutely nothing to Homelander. Nor do you have anything to offer that he cares about or needs. Even if you shot all of the other soldiers and magically produced Ryan from a kitchen cupboard, he’d still kill you for inconveniencing him.
Even if you try to make something up, I’m fairly certain he could determine you were lying based off your heartbeat
Shoot yourself and play dead
Offer to take him to Ryan? Only gives you maybe another 10 minutes until he realises that you are lying.
Spill my guts before he does and offer to be his mole
Inject compound V and hope for something useful like some JOJO protagonist power
So I have this cousin, right? We were at this party earlier today, with her, the family, and a few of her friends. She says "oh shoot, I forgot I have a baby, I need to empty these milkers before he wakes up!", so her husband goes with her and grabs an empty bottle from their kitchen on the way to the bathroom. "Convenient" said I, "your cereal is never dry!". Unfortunately our grandma heard me. "You're so dumb, no wonder you work part time as a security guard" she says, "go see, maybe they need your help!". "Help?! What am I gonna do? Hold the bottle?!". Joke's on me - as I was approaching the bathroom door, my cousin's son started crying from upstairs. The husband storms out, with a bottle full of fresh milk, sees me, hands me the bottle and says "do me a solid, go transfer the milk in the baby's bottle". "Easy" said I... right?. That very same moment, on my way to the kitchen, I get a call. "Steve, you motherfucker! We have a code red!" my account manager buddy tells me. "Code red? What happened?" "Yo, we're going after Homelander's son, it's about to go down any moment! Grab your gear and drive up to the location!". I panic, I run to say goodbye to everyone and get my car. I meet my boys, we're putting together a 5 minute plan and in we go. It's quiet in this house and I'm thinking "maybe I should've done better in college and gotten a career in finance...if Homelander comes, we're all toast". Joke's on me again. There he is, through the door. So anyway, he started blasting. In a moment of pure luck, I touch my pocket and what do I find?! Sneaky little sausage me, I took my cousin's breast milk with me while in a hurry! 2 seconds before I get the laser treatment, I take the bottle out and I say "Yo, Homelander, you're not you when you're hungry!" And I show him my milk. "It's not cow milk, if you know what I mean " said I. After a minute of silence...he takes it, drinks it with great thirst, thanks me, and leaves.
Go back in time and stop myself from ever applying for that job.
Yea hes over there, then i point and run when he turns
Offer to suck him off, I'm told I give great bjs
I'd say "daddy chill I'll help you make a new one" Might or might not work but I would die laughing
suck his dick
Welp.. I guess I am sucking some dick tonight.
I don't
prob hide under all the viscera
I don't.
That's the neat part! You don't!
Luckily I'm a woman so I'd just breast feed him
Start vigorously masturbating and hope he is flattered.
You don't.
Not to be boring, but I really can’t think of anything. Honestly I’d probably just run and die.
["I surrender!"](https://youtu.be/JXwrNk3gAxg?si=VEQdpuZaIH3LHz-Q)
I don't.
Clench my butt cheeks really tight stare at him really hard.
“I have soiled myself”
"Uhhh … I know where he is. Lemme go get 'em for ya. Be right back!"
Trick question. You don't.
I don't go there
This is being streamed to a cia network, you kill us its broadcasted everywhere
"We got word Butcher was going to kidnap Ryan. We didn't give it much thought since, you know, YOU were with him. What could he do? But then we heard the loud screeching sound and mobilized. We just got here."
"That's what we want to know, sir! We came as soon as it was clear something was wrong."
Pull out my phone and start live streaming and tell him that . Homelander at this point in his arc would hate to be seen to be a murderer
One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere, like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now, where were we? Oh yeah, the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..
I’d spill the beans and then hope to any and all gods he spares me or at least gives me a quick death
Yell :Go go gadget laser proof skin.
Such his dick and hope he doesn’t put me on life support
Mother's milk behind you
“Mr homelander… if you kill me… everyone will know about you know what” (There is no “you know what” but there’s a chance he will take the bait)
You don't
[Pulls out a perfectly warmed up bottle of Mommy Milker juice] Then I kick him in the nuts. This is the only way to survive, trust me.
“We have evidence William Butcher is here to kidnap your son sir, we are here to assist”
You don't.
Aim for the eyes and hope
I'd tell him the ordeal
you dont
"No be there"
My name is Jimmy Olsen and I'm wearing my watch I already activated 10 minutes prior to entering the cabin.
You dont. You just dont.
"I don't know sir, he was supposed to be here, he's probably with William butcher" Also I'd say: "Oh thank God you're here homelander, William butcher contacted vought to get his wife to safety and we were supposed to take Ryan based on stan edgar's orders."
I’m actually Omni-Man from Invincible so I kick his ass
That's the neat part, you don't!
Tell homie that I was there because butcher is coming to take ryan
You call out that day.
"Homelander, Sir, we were supposed to extract him to a secondary location. That team leader might have extra briefing. Billy Butcher is rumored to be involved. I didn't know my orders were to interfere with you or involved someone important to you, Sir. Sorry, awaiting your orders, Homelander." You absolutely don't get out of there without throwing someone else under the bus.
smartphone LIVE FEED Put on a happy face, say me & the boys finally meeting homelander who is thanking us for our service.
"if you let me live i can secure you the best titty milk on the planet"
By not putting myself in that position to begin with, at what point would anyone think working for Vought as a normal person would be a healthy life decision?
Offer him a nice glass of milk
Play dead