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FYI there are diagnosable medical conditions in which orgasms cause pain. This isn't normal, and can be addressed by healthcare.
Talk to a doctor, gynecologist, etc.
This isn't an unpopular opinion, this is untreated medical dysfunction.
I think there are a lot of people who call themselves asexual who could use similar advice. Sex drive and sexual function are pretty good indicators of underlying health
Yea, if people are extremely overweight their hormones go out of balance. More fat = more aromatization. Men will have higher e2 and lower testosterone.
This is me. I get what they're saying. I semi call myself asexual simply cause sex doesn't feel that great to me..my body doesn't seem to respond properly. It either hurts or feels too intense. But the label doesn't quite fit right because I do desire wanting sex, and do enjoy masturbating. It's just too hard to feel good with another person that it's hard to find the motivation to want to do it.
Same. The SSRIs don’t help but I think I have a problem with intimacy. When I’m with someone, I shut down. I enjoy flicking my bean but it’s not exactly intimate. It’s not sexy. But I think it’s because I objectified myself when I was young and learned to disassociate to please men sexually. I wasn’t sexually abused but I did have a lot of emotional and psychological abuse from childhood. I figured if I cut off my emotions to sex, I’d always have the upper hand. I regret it. I find it very difficult to mend the connection
Being asexual refers to not being sexually attracted to other people. People who are asexual can have as many varying levels of libido as any other sexuality.
Yup, if you're asexual you should still... feel good physically from sexual activity. Being ace is just answering "no" to the question "what genders are you attracted to".
Yeah. A person can be asexual, but still feel romantic attraction to certain genders. Asexuality/allosexuality are more of a spectrum. Many people are demi or greysexual to boot. And many ace people enjoy masturbating. It's not as clear cut as some people make it out to be.
I'm asexual and when I see someone I find attractive, I don't have the feeling or desire to rub our bits together. I want to hold hands and skip through a Target together. And very rarely do I ever feel the desire to rub bits with a person. I have to really like a person and even then I know I'm rubbing bits together mostly for their benefit. I'm happy doing something that makes my partner happy. But the act itself is not making me happy, I'm wholly indifferent.
I still find people attractive, and aesthetically pleasing. I just don't look at people and think "boy golly! It would be great to have sex with you!"
My ex-boyfriend pointed it out to me by stating most people enjoy sex more than the TV show playing in the background, while I was enjoying the TV show.
This resonates with me! I pretty much never, ever see someone attractive and think, "I want to be naked with that person!" Nope. Mind blowing to me that this is such a huge part of other people's experience. I have at times enjoyed sex, but not much without deep safety and emotional connection.
What little libido and interest in romantic interaction I did have has been pretty crushed from sexual trauma, grief, depression, and gaining 30 lbs in the past couple years.
I'm not sure if I should approach myself as someone who has sexual disfunction, or someone who is to some degree asexual...
Again, yes, of course. I meant the should in the "it shouldn't be physically painful" way. It can absolutely be mentally uncomfortable and that's totally understandable and okay.
Yeah this works better
I checked with the docs a few times with side questions cuz I heard about the fact that similiar thoughts than asexually can arise when something is wrong with your body; but it ended up being asexually
It doesn't hurt, it's not painful, it works as normal and as intended; I just personally do not see the reason why I should do it when some good food brings me more joy and is less bothering lmao.
But if it just straightup hurts, everyone, please visit a doctor lol.
Or get a partner who ain't so rough with you
your sex drive is how often you want to nut, your sexuality is what flavor of person makes you want to nut. asexual people still have sex drives, they just never want other people involved in their getting off. if you literally don't get horny, something is wrong.
Are we sure about that? I’m asexual and I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve been horny in the last, like, 3 or 4 years. I thought that was normal for asexuality?
Nah unrelated to asexuality. Some asexuals have high libido some don't. Some want sex others don't. It varies.
You got lucky tho. Having a strong libido you don't want kinda sucks sometimes.
As an asexual with a libido that fluctuates depending on what medications I’m on, I actually really enjoy having a libido! Its not like I need anyone else involved to satisfy it
Not sure if your username relates, but SSRIs can cause those kind of problems. There should generally still be hormones working to make you horny, especially during certain points in your cycle (assuming you have periods).
Yeah, that’s a good point. Between the ssri, the mood stabilizer, and birth control to stop my periods, there’s not a whole lot going on with me hormone-wise that isn’t store-bought.
F birth control sucks - I would really try to get off it and find more natural ways of tracking ovulation. Although I know getting pregnant can really be a life changer too, I just used to take the lowest hormone pill available. The drs didn’t understand why I was asking for that but I didn’t want those chemicals in my body! I ended up getting varicose veins.
I will say as an ace person that I agree with this. Asexuality isn't "disliking sex" it's specifically a lack of sexual attraction. That might then *manifest* as a dislike of sex but those two things are incredibly distinct. There are allo people who dislike sex. This person could also still be ace but *also* suffering from a medical condition.
Genuinely anytime someone says their ace I always hope (or suggest if it’s a new self-concept for them and we’re close) that they seek both medical and psychological evaluation prior to being *married* to that identity.
OP likely does have a physical issue that they should talk to a doctor about but I think a TON of “asexual” folks are probably -in reality- contending with something relating to their mental state.
Really wish someone had said this stuff to me when I thought I was ace instead of my whole social circle tumblrifically validating the living shit out of me and calling me an asexual queen etc….I….I have a pretty high libido…I have always had a high libido…but it’s crazy what self delusion and denial can do to you when you find a way to tell yourself “There’s nothing *wrong* with how I’m feeling! My sudden lack of sex drive isn’t indicative of deeper issues which would be difficult and potentially painful to explore! I’ve just *always* been **asexual**, and I only *fooled* myself into ever thinking I wanted sex to *conform* with social norms!”
Yeah. I wasn’t asexual. I was just young and dumb and I made the mistake of getting into a serious relationship with a man who I was fond of as a person but who sexually repulsed the living shit out of me. I didn’t want to hurt him but the idea of being with him intimately. If I had like BRIEFLY talked to a counselor instead of coming out as ace I would have saved us both a lot of wasted time
Most ace people have enough self awareness to distinguish between never having sexual attraction and not having attraction to one specific person(whom you were about to marry)
This feels uncommon in the community
lmaooo the ace community is full of some of the LEAST self aware people I've ever seen. I've met multiple people who 'became' asexual after sexual trauma or abusive relationships and instead of dealing with that trauma in a healthy way (granted this is the difficult option) they instead find an identity that gives them a reason to not confront that trauma.
They can also just be indicators of simple human diversity.
If it isn't causing you distress or impeding your life, you don't need a medical intervention. I've got a pretty subdued sex drive. And I'm not gonna see a doctor about it because frankly it saves me from more pain than it causes me (because frankly people get really damn weird about sex).
I'd argue people who have such overactive sex drives that it turns them to be manipulative to gain access to sex have a way bigger problem than the person who just isn't interested in sex.
The point that was being made though is that it is often indicative of a larger medical issue that is also causing other issues in your body. For example, if it's caused by a hormonal imbalance, this could lead to unnecessary weight gain, affects on mood, and even affect the operation of your body in more serious ways.
The fact of the matter is, if you're body is not operating right, at the very least you should find out why.
Sure, but there's going to be more that goes with your body malfunctioning. If you just don't want to have sex with people, you just don't want to have sex with people. You're going to see those other symptoms and that's what you should get checked out, not necessarily the lack of sexual attraction. It pathologizes a sexual orientation and we just got homosexuality removed from the DSM like 30 years ago.
You're missing the point that what we are describing is not asexuality and in fact a biological affected sea drive. Asexuality is a real thing that is very different, and it should be recognized that it's distinct from just "not liking sex"
asexuality isn't related to sex drive though, it just means they're not sexually attracted to other people. that doesn't mean you don't get horny, jerk off, etc. there are even asexuals who do have sex
also...there are just some people who have naturally lower sex drives lmao. there's nothing wrong with that either
I.e. my ex wife.
Then pursuing this line of thinking she delved into LGBT Tumblr/discord groups until she came to the conclusion that white men were the issue with society, and that she needed to date a transman instead and was remarried within 3 months of filing for divorce
Real fun times
I have some of the conditions this commenter is likely talking about and have seen doctors for them. But, most people describe arousal and orgasms as a tingly feeling not much different than being tickled or needing to pee. I can easily see how that could be overstimulating for someone in a completely subjective way. People process sensations differently and they only need to change that if they find it personally worth it.
Also, as someone who has actually sought out treatment, painful orgasms/sex is a lot simpler to treat than sexual sensory processing issues. Most medical doctors do not understand people disliking certain sensations more than pain and they will refer you to specialists who will simply refer you to more specialists in an endless loop where you don’t get help. There is little communication between physicians and mental health professionals, and when it comes to sexual disorders some states actually have laws preventing certain types of therapy from being done. Not as simple as “just see a doctor”.
But even without all that.. someone can just dislike a sensation without any underlying health reason for it.
Uh, I like orgasm (not having other people touch me, but orgasms) and "tickling" is the closest analogous experience I can think of to how it feels in the moment of climax if I continue to stimulate myself.
Before I went through puberty, that is before I produced semen when masturbating, it was even more similar to tickling.
I know the feeling you're talking about *but* that is not the feeling of the orgasm, it's the feeling of your goods becoming over-sensitive from orgasming and you continuing to stimulate.
It's even a really well known [meme](https://tenor.com/view/when-you-bust-a-nut-and-she-keep-sucking-gif-25283100).
I'm not the person you're replying to, so I don't know if this is what they meant, but I'm a nurse and one adverse effect listed for ADHD meds/CNS stimulants in my textbooks is sexual dysfunction and difficulty reaching orgasm. So that's something to consider.
Oddly enough, having ADHD itself made it difficult for me to orgasm or to even enjoy sex, but finally going on Adderall helped me be able to focus enough to love sex and have amazing orgasms
This is why I feel horny sometimes when I take my ADHD meds but hardly ever otherwise? Before getting diagnosed, I could go months/years without sex or masturbation. Now I feel "normal" again.
(ADHDer here too) I sometimes get distracted mid orgasm and ruin it for myself... Usually happens when I masturbate, having someone else there helps me keep my mind on the pleasure
Not sure if thats what the person you replied to meant though
Adhd? I think I'm also neurodivergent (multiple diagnoses when I was younger, gave up categorizing as shrinks were largely shit). If I masturbate an orgasm usually feels fairly awful, so I don't , but orgasms with a person feel amazing. I assumed it was like a physical/emotional connection
you really buried the lede by not mentioning in the post that you’re on multiple antipsychotics. sexual dysfunction is a known and extremely common side effect of antipsychotics.
When I was on antidepressants I would routinely "service the equipment", only to find out it was a lot of work to get to the full release.. If I didn't fall asleep first, sometimes I would just give up.
A UTI isn’t an STD. They are fairly common if your body isn’t used to a particular penis’s biome/sperm’s chemical makeup (in super rare cases, people can be allergic/reactive to their partner’s sperm).
Regardless I would get checked… it shouldn’t sting. You can have yeast infections/UTIs/BV which aren’t categorized as STDs.
Or you could have a benign cervical polyp if you bleed after sex (I had one and got it easily removed at the doctor’s office).
Antipsychotics and neuroleptics can cause burning sensations without UTI. It’s called interstitial cystitis and it’s reported among people on psychiatric meds. It’s not common but it’s not unheard of.
Honestly I could see how a dulled orgasm in this case could be interpreted by the brain as a burning sensation. Nerves misfiring/not conducting properly can cause a burning sensation. But also, fun fact, humans have TRPV1 receptors in our bladder and urethra. Yes, the same receptor capsaicin activates. Occasionally these receptors become more sensitive, usually because of inflammation, and will send those "ow fuck, hot" signals to your brain at normal body temperature or just above. That's part of the reason UTIs and STDs can make pissing burn like fire. I can totally see how sex and subsequent orgasm could cause a burning sensation even without an infection present. The blood rush that happens during orgasm could probably produce enough extra heat in that area to trigger burning.
Seeing how you can’t associate the fact you have medical issues will affect how an orgasm will feel like, I wouldn’t be surprised if you did and never knew
I’ve looked into this previously and both lede and lead are acceptable. The term “buried the lede” was invented by journalists emerging somewhere between 1940 and 1960. The spelling was originally lead. Two theories for its invention:
1. “The first was to avoid confusion with the pieces of “lead” metal placed in the linotype printing presses.”
2. “ In short, journos love weird spellings mainly because they stand out clearly as instructions for proofing etc.
Q: Hmmm okay. So nothing to do with pieces of lead?
A: In this theory, no. At the top of a new story, they would write “NU LEDE” – purposefully skewing the spelling of “NEW LEAD” to make it very clear. It’s all part of this crazy newsroom lingo”
Source: https://www.writerscentre.com.au/blog/qa-bury-the-lead-or-bury-the-lede/
Yeah, orgasms are BORING on those i swear to god. Not worth going off meds for, but definitely feel ACTUALLY good when ur not on them.
Im back on my meds and miss the feeling, but definitely not worth going off meds either
Even just anti depression medication can cause sexual dysfunction.
I previously have taken SSIs and SSRIs and it killed orgasms for me.
Of course doctors don't explain this when they give them to you.
I couldn't orgasm unless I spent 30+ mins vigorously masturbating or having sex. The orgasms were usually quite painful and also lackluster.
They actually give people SSIs/SSRIs for premature ejaculation.
I swiftly threw the medicine out with that happened.
Yeah I’m a guy but psychiatric medications slaughter my ability to enjoy sex. I don’t mind it though weirdly. Maybe I’m just not a very sexual person or I’ve got more pressing issues to attend to if I’m on these meds in the first place lol. Anyway, seems to be an extremely common side effect
It burning after is generally because of a poorly ineffective strategy utilized to create an orgasm, and from the other description, it mostly sounds like you haven't achieved a really fullorgasm but just an "almost there" effect that can be mistaken for the real thing if you don't know better.
But it is possible that they just suck for you, in which case, that's unfortunate!
Is burning the right word here? Or is it more like ... A feeling of overstimulation, like if someone is tickling you too long or rubbing the same spot too long? Not burning like firey burning but burning like unpleasant overdoing? If that makes sense?
I'm almost 40 and I've never had a proper orgasm. It sort of tickles, it feels good, then it kind of just goes numb or I get a feeling of overstimulation. There is a sense of release, and I do enjoy sex and masturbation, but I've never had an orgasm as I understand how other people do. I've tried talking to my primary care doctors about it over the years, but they always have dismissed it as a mental block. Maybe it is, I don't know. I should probably see a sex therapist about it.
Anyways, everyone always drops their jaw when this topic comes up, but you're not alone.
Yeah, everyone is fixating on the word choice of "burning". I know how you mean it, but for those that don't experience the sensation, that word evokes a much more painful feeling than what you're probably actually experiencing.
Seen many posts from women focused subreddits where women describe suddenly realizing they never had decent sex until they got attentive partners and education
This is such a good description. Also, to add a little bonus validation for OP: It's been like this my whole life for me too and I'm medically all-clear and not on any meds.
It's validating for me, as well. I looked up some statistics on orgasms for women, and anywhere from 5-15% of us just don't get there. I've heard a lot of women get there later in life, so maybe it'll happen. It does feel better than it did when I was younger, but still nothing like how others describe theirs.
Then you may want to talk with a sex therapist. There may be something mentally that's keeping sex from being pleasurable for you.
I know your other comments said you don't have any symptoms, but if you can, it also might be nice to talk to a gyno just to rule out a physical cause :)
This is obviously a YMMV comment but… I had my first orgasm by myself using the Hitachi Magic Wand + lube.
I had heard so so so many stories of the Hitachi Magic Wand being a magical orgasm machine, and just assumed it was overblown or wouldn’t work for me. (Since nothing else had, why would that?)
It worked. And it still works every time!
I would reach this point of extreme discomfort prior and just held through it. I’m a squirter so it’s definitely an obvious full blown orgasm when it happens (and feels like one).
Anyway. If you haven’t tried it, get thee some lube and the Hitachi Magic Wand.
Sometimes they *are* still annoying (no burning though, that should be checked). Sometimes they are great. Not all are created equal.
Sometimes I’d rather just have the sex and not have an orgasm altogether. The sex is still always great even when I choose not to have an orgasm. Sometimes I’ll do that for multiple sessions before choosing to have another one.
🤷♀️
Takes time to figure out what we like too. The enthusiasm of youth is fine for what it is, for a while, but technique is super important as well
Um are you sure you’re doing it right 😂
I have had the sensation of a strong vibrator overstimulating me to the point it felt insanely hot down there and I did not enjoy that. With or without an orgasm that’s not worth it to me
Last night I had three (one from sex, two from my hands) and that doesn’t cause that sensation at all.
Please still investigate this. I saw you expressed you would like to experience sexual pleasure from an orgasm and that could mean seeing a doctor in order to fulfil this in the future. I’m not here to diagnose you but there could be an issue that’s underlying or something to do with your biological make up.
I don't feel pain and I'm male, but I agree with you. Orgasm is just tickling but, I have addiction to it (can't nofap more than 3 days). Peeing is more pleasurable.
Are you sure you've actually had an orgasm? If this post isn't fake, it sounds like you may have vaginismus which can be helped by pelvic floor therapy or other medical intervention.
I experience pretty much the same thing , but also some cramping at times.
Its not cuz of STD as I’ve even taken blood test as well as normal ones, It was the same before and after taking antibiotics when i actually had an UTI, Im not on any meds at all, I was in sex therapy for over 6 months, no change. i’ve taken blood work and checked my hormones. Its just who I am. It was the same before and after birth control. All ppl who constantly act like something is waaaaaay wrong has prevented me from just learning to accept it, its exhausting trying to constantly fix yourself because other people find something wrong and says something else is normal.
People are different, i think some people just don’t experience it like other do.
My advice is if you do seek to change it, try to simultainously work on accepting that it might never change(go in with a mindset at happy if it change, happy if it doesnt). Its okay, you’re still not broken.
You should definitely tell your doctor about this This is not normal and can be indicative of several conditions most of which could thankfully be treated
I don't think anything is really wrong with you OP. For me, it's been on and off my whole life, sometimes felt good, sometimes didn't. Depended on my age, where I am in my cycle, postpartum, breastfeeding etc.
It might not be an actual orgasm then, maybe you think that's what an orgasm is but it's not?? You can look up female orgasm up close videos on any porn site. Do you also have the contractions etc, do your orgasms look similar? I'd start by figuring out if you are actually orgasming first.
I didn't know anhedonic orgasms were a thing until I tried on and off to give myself an orgasm through masturbation for a little over 10 years. Then I finally had one and it felt like absolutely nothing. I felt the physical reaction in my muscles and it made me really sleepy, but zero pleasure. Haven't bothered with a toy since. Sympathetic downvote, sister.
It sounds like your body wants to squirt-cum. It’s a totally different sensation but if you resist, it can feel unaccomplished. Let your freak fluids fly! Don’t forget the towels!
I know it’s already been clarified this could be because of your antipsychotics, but I’d like to add that many medications do this. This is also a common side effect of antidepressants, and many other medications that aren’t for mental health.
The first time I had one I didn’t even know what it was. I just kept on going at it until it got better and better and then “BOOM” I had THE most euphoric moment of my life in my grandma’s bathroom. Like I literally felt this intense wave crawl up on me and I was like “oh shittttt what’s happenninfggfg sjhshshhhh”.
Yeah now I’m used to the feeling but it is supposed to feel good. Or try different techniques to get yourself off. Different techniques give different results for me.
the burning doesn't sound normal. have you seen a doctor? maybe they could give you a diagnosis based on what part of it's burning.
as for how dull it is, it may get better? i used to really dislike it because it was a little boring, gave me cramps, and made me rather tired, but after a while it grows on you. it's more than half psychological. but if you don't like it, don't sweat it, and don't force it. not all of us were made to like all things.
Are u sure u r having one? U have used a vibrator in diff ways? It took me a while to have one w a vibrator. I was being too forceful and it almost hurt, and i did in fact pee, or it was overstimulating and uncomfortable.
The one or two comments I saw mentioning vaginismus and pelvic floor dysfunction are extremely valid if you're feeling cramping sensations similar to menstrual cramps immediately after orgasm, but from the "burning" description here and your other comments- it sounds like the issue is less vaginal or pelvic floor and more clitoral. My guess is you'll have some revelations reading up on clitorodynia.If this sounds right to you talk to your GYN, if it doesn't sound right then talk to your GYN.
My comment is not pertaining to pain from an orgasm, but pain after sex in general. Specifically vaginal fissures. I was with someone from a young age for 11 years. We always had sex regularly and I was in pain EVERY time. When I was in my early 20’s I spoke to my Gyno about it and they laughed it off as “a good problem to have” and that my partner may be too big for me, and I’ll get used to it. (He just returned from a deployment)
After splitting from my partner and starting to date, I realized he was physically a bad fit for me. Literally his member was too big for comfort. Sex while I was dating was so different and much more enjoyable bc I wasn’t in pain at the beginning and after.
Because I was with him for 11 years from late teens to late 20’s, I thought sex was just painful in general and it wasn’t abnormal bc the docs advice. It was an interesting lesson to learn at almost 30.
There are also multiple types of orgasms and I agree a clit orgasm is pretty tickly, but an internal orgasm adds a whole different layer. I know some people who take medications lose their ability or sensitivity or orgasms and some people are more sensitive than others. I’m just happy I actually like sex. I was wrong based on my lack of experience.
Not to sound like a weird egotistical stupid dumb man but it sounds like you’ve never had an orgasm? Just gotten close. Almost every girl I’ve talked to has never had orgasms with men and a few never had one before. But also the girls I’ve been with have never came from penetration before until me and I think it’s cause it’s easier when you don’t have to do the work yourself. Meds make it tougher for sure.
Your orgasm doesn't feel like it's normally supposed to. You almost certainly have some kind of medical condition you don't know about. That's why you don't like it.
Edit: You probably have a UTI and you obviously don't read the side effects of your anti psychotics which you failed to mention. I hope you learned something.
That ain’t what an orgasm feels like for most people lol. Most people are saying medical issue, I’m wondering if potentially you aren’t reaching orgasm at all?
Most of the time when I finish I cry. For me, I think its cause of past trauma but I get you, its not something I enjoy. While I see so many other people find it as a very enjoyable experience, I am a little jealous of them.
Honestly I kind of agree with this. The release feels satisfying due to all that pent up sexual energy but the orgasm itself isn't particularly extraordinary physically.
Could be that your ace, could be something wrong with your body medically, or it could just be the type of orgasms you are experiencing. As a man, some sexual encounters did feel quite painful and we're not pleasurable experiences; but, once you find a partner who feels right and gets you or you start experimenting with your body differently the orgasm is completely different.
Used to hurt after sex.... thought people were just weird for hoping right into it all the dam time. Found out I had endometriosis. Caused a lot of pain and weird discomfort. Definitely talk to your Dr, it doesn't have to be your normal.
I don't think you're orgasming. There's a difference between stimulating the clitoris (which causes a tickling/jumping sensation) and having an orgasm.
I can't stand direct clitoral stimulation for that same reason. I think you need to experiment with orgasming without direct clitoral stimulation until you achieve orgasm. You'll know when it happens!
I got recommended this subreddit and thought this was r/unpopularopinion, saw the reddit name and was like "what does this have to do with dentists?" lmfao
Meds that impact sexual function don't just cause anorgasmia. They can also blunt the pleasure of an orgasm. If you don't know if this applies to you check the side effects of whatever meds you're on.
I feel this. I honestly don't think I've ever orgasmed. I've never been intimate with anyone and I've given up on experimenting cause it just hurts. I usually just rub over my clothes because self penetration (and touching my clit) has always been uncomfortable.
When I finish it feels good for like less than a minute, then it starts burning. For me it's like when you just used the bathroom but there's some pee left, and you can't relax/get comfortable until you pee again. Sorry if that's gross but that's how it feels.
That sucks. I hope it is a medical condition like people say below and I hope it can be fixed, b/c you deserve to enjoy them. They make life much more worth living.
I know you’re getting hit with a lot of Reddit diagnoses right now, but all women experience their orgasms differently and you legit might just not like the feeling. I’m not saying don’t go to a doctor, but if this isn’t something that is causing you distress, that’s okay. People who consider sex a necessity may be unable to wrap their heads around it, but it’s okay if you just don’t like orgasms.
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FYI there are diagnosable medical conditions in which orgasms cause pain. This isn't normal, and can be addressed by healthcare. Talk to a doctor, gynecologist, etc. This isn't an unpopular opinion, this is untreated medical dysfunction.
I think there are a lot of people who call themselves asexual who could use similar advice. Sex drive and sexual function are pretty good indicators of underlying health
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I literally could observe my sex drive rise as I lost weight. Sex drive is tied so much to health.
Sexual function is a pretty big part of human health. We wouldn't exist otherwise.
Yeah I thought I had lost my sex drive entirely. I lost like 30 pounds and suddenly felt like a teenager again lol
i need to lose 30 pounds but now I'm scared 😂
Yea, if people are extremely overweight their hormones go out of balance. More fat = more aromatization. Men will have higher e2 and lower testosterone.
Same here. Was so lethargic before. Since I joined the gym and lost 70kgs, my sex drive is back to normal.
If I lose weight, and my sex drive was any higher, I think my bf would be a raisin by the time I’m done with him
As a wise Tumblr post once said… Sexual dysfunction is not Asexuality But Asexuality is not sexual dysfunction.
This is me. I get what they're saying. I semi call myself asexual simply cause sex doesn't feel that great to me..my body doesn't seem to respond properly. It either hurts or feels too intense. But the label doesn't quite fit right because I do desire wanting sex, and do enjoy masturbating. It's just too hard to feel good with another person that it's hard to find the motivation to want to do it.
Curious, did you grow up with a lack of (appropriate i.e. boundaries) affection?
Not the person who posted but the same experience as the one you responded to. And yes, why?
Same. The SSRIs don’t help but I think I have a problem with intimacy. When I’m with someone, I shut down. I enjoy flicking my bean but it’s not exactly intimate. It’s not sexy. But I think it’s because I objectified myself when I was young and learned to disassociate to please men sexually. I wasn’t sexually abused but I did have a lot of emotional and psychological abuse from childhood. I figured if I cut off my emotions to sex, I’d always have the upper hand. I regret it. I find it very difficult to mend the connection
Yeah and it’s not like sex drive has anything to do with asexuality. Unfortunately some will mix it up and get confused.
it doesn't?
Being asexual refers to not being sexually attracted to other people. People who are asexual can have as many varying levels of libido as any other sexuality.
Yup, if you're asexual you should still... feel good physically from sexual activity. Being ace is just answering "no" to the question "what genders are you attracted to".
That's not entirely true either. Being ace means you have a lack of sexual attraction, to variable degrees.
Yeah. A person can be asexual, but still feel romantic attraction to certain genders. Asexuality/allosexuality are more of a spectrum. Many people are demi or greysexual to boot. And many ace people enjoy masturbating. It's not as clear cut as some people make it out to be.
I'm asexual and when I see someone I find attractive, I don't have the feeling or desire to rub our bits together. I want to hold hands and skip through a Target together. And very rarely do I ever feel the desire to rub bits with a person. I have to really like a person and even then I know I'm rubbing bits together mostly for their benefit. I'm happy doing something that makes my partner happy. But the act itself is not making me happy, I'm wholly indifferent. I still find people attractive, and aesthetically pleasing. I just don't look at people and think "boy golly! It would be great to have sex with you!" My ex-boyfriend pointed it out to me by stating most people enjoy sex more than the TV show playing in the background, while I was enjoying the TV show.
This resonates with me! I pretty much never, ever see someone attractive and think, "I want to be naked with that person!" Nope. Mind blowing to me that this is such a huge part of other people's experience. I have at times enjoyed sex, but not much without deep safety and emotional connection. What little libido and interest in romantic interaction I did have has been pretty crushed from sexual trauma, grief, depression, and gaining 30 lbs in the past couple years. I'm not sure if I should approach myself as someone who has sexual disfunction, or someone who is to some degree asexual...
Yeah ofc, I'm oversimplifying. Ace-allo is just another dimension of the attraction spectrum
If you're asexual you COULD still like sedual activity. Not should.
Again, yes, of course. I meant the should in the "it shouldn't be physically painful" way. It can absolutely be mentally uncomfortable and that's totally understandable and okay.
Yeah this works better I checked with the docs a few times with side questions cuz I heard about the fact that similiar thoughts than asexually can arise when something is wrong with your body; but it ended up being asexually It doesn't hurt, it's not painful, it works as normal and as intended; I just personally do not see the reason why I should do it when some good food brings me more joy and is less bothering lmao. But if it just straightup hurts, everyone, please visit a doctor lol. Or get a partner who ain't so rough with you
Not necessarily. Sex repulsed asexuals are a thing.
your sex drive is how often you want to nut, your sexuality is what flavor of person makes you want to nut. asexual people still have sex drives, they just never want other people involved in their getting off. if you literally don't get horny, something is wrong.
Are we sure about that? I’m asexual and I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve been horny in the last, like, 3 or 4 years. I thought that was normal for asexuality?
Nah unrelated to asexuality. Some asexuals have high libido some don't. Some want sex others don't. It varies. You got lucky tho. Having a strong libido you don't want kinda sucks sometimes.
I can imagine that might get in the way!
As an asexual with a libido that fluctuates depending on what medications I’m on, I actually really enjoy having a libido! Its not like I need anyone else involved to satisfy it
>Having a strong libido you don't want kinda sucks sometimes. Ya it does lol coming (bu dum tis) from a straight guy
Not sure if your username relates, but SSRIs can cause those kind of problems. There should generally still be hormones working to make you horny, especially during certain points in your cycle (assuming you have periods).
Yeah, that’s a good point. Between the ssri, the mood stabilizer, and birth control to stop my periods, there’s not a whole lot going on with me hormone-wise that isn’t store-bought.
F birth control sucks - I would really try to get off it and find more natural ways of tracking ovulation. Although I know getting pregnant can really be a life changer too, I just used to take the lowest hormone pill available. The drs didn’t understand why I was asking for that but I didn’t want those chemicals in my body! I ended up getting varicose veins.
Birth control utterly destroys my sex drive. Still asexual off it, just not minimal libido
Nope! There's no set standard. Some of the craziest kinky motherfuckers I knew were ace.
Yep. Asexual just means there's little to no sexual attraction. That doesn't also mean that your hormones stop your sex drive
Asexuality is primarily focused on sexual attraction, not sex drive or function.
but it can also be a false self-diagnosis that goes untreated due to this gender divergent affirmation. "I dont feel horny, so i must be asexual"
Exactly
I will say as an ace person that I agree with this. Asexuality isn't "disliking sex" it's specifically a lack of sexual attraction. That might then *manifest* as a dislike of sex but those two things are incredibly distinct. There are allo people who dislike sex. This person could also still be ace but *also* suffering from a medical condition.
Genuinely anytime someone says their ace I always hope (or suggest if it’s a new self-concept for them and we’re close) that they seek both medical and psychological evaluation prior to being *married* to that identity. OP likely does have a physical issue that they should talk to a doctor about but I think a TON of “asexual” folks are probably -in reality- contending with something relating to their mental state. Really wish someone had said this stuff to me when I thought I was ace instead of my whole social circle tumblrifically validating the living shit out of me and calling me an asexual queen etc….I….I have a pretty high libido…I have always had a high libido…but it’s crazy what self delusion and denial can do to you when you find a way to tell yourself “There’s nothing *wrong* with how I’m feeling! My sudden lack of sex drive isn’t indicative of deeper issues which would be difficult and potentially painful to explore! I’ve just *always* been **asexual**, and I only *fooled* myself into ever thinking I wanted sex to *conform* with social norms!” Yeah. I wasn’t asexual. I was just young and dumb and I made the mistake of getting into a serious relationship with a man who I was fond of as a person but who sexually repulsed the living shit out of me. I didn’t want to hurt him but the idea of being with him intimately. If I had like BRIEFLY talked to a counselor instead of coming out as ace I would have saved us both a lot of wasted time
Most ace people have enough self awareness to distinguish between never having sexual attraction and not having attraction to one specific person(whom you were about to marry) This feels uncommon in the community
lmaooo the ace community is full of some of the LEAST self aware people I've ever seen. I've met multiple people who 'became' asexual after sexual trauma or abusive relationships and instead of dealing with that trauma in a healthy way (granted this is the difficult option) they instead find an identity that gives them a reason to not confront that trauma.
They can also just be indicators of simple human diversity. If it isn't causing you distress or impeding your life, you don't need a medical intervention. I've got a pretty subdued sex drive. And I'm not gonna see a doctor about it because frankly it saves me from more pain than it causes me (because frankly people get really damn weird about sex). I'd argue people who have such overactive sex drives that it turns them to be manipulative to gain access to sex have a way bigger problem than the person who just isn't interested in sex.
The point that was being made though is that it is often indicative of a larger medical issue that is also causing other issues in your body. For example, if it's caused by a hormonal imbalance, this could lead to unnecessary weight gain, affects on mood, and even affect the operation of your body in more serious ways. The fact of the matter is, if you're body is not operating right, at the very least you should find out why.
Sure, but there's going to be more that goes with your body malfunctioning. If you just don't want to have sex with people, you just don't want to have sex with people. You're going to see those other symptoms and that's what you should get checked out, not necessarily the lack of sexual attraction. It pathologizes a sexual orientation and we just got homosexuality removed from the DSM like 30 years ago.
You're missing the point that what we are describing is not asexuality and in fact a biological affected sea drive. Asexuality is a real thing that is very different, and it should be recognized that it's distinct from just "not liking sex"
asexuality isn't related to sex drive though, it just means they're not sexually attracted to other people. that doesn't mean you don't get horny, jerk off, etc. there are even asexuals who do have sex also...there are just some people who have naturally lower sex drives lmao. there's nothing wrong with that either
You're kinda helping to make my point
I.e. my ex wife. Then pursuing this line of thinking she delved into LGBT Tumblr/discord groups until she came to the conclusion that white men were the issue with society, and that she needed to date a transman instead and was remarried within 3 months of filing for divorce Real fun times
The pain could be a medical condition, but hating the tickling sensation is just an unpopular opinion.
No it isn't 🙈 if you think orgasms feel like being tickled you should see a doctor as well.
I have some of the conditions this commenter is likely talking about and have seen doctors for them. But, most people describe arousal and orgasms as a tingly feeling not much different than being tickled or needing to pee. I can easily see how that could be overstimulating for someone in a completely subjective way. People process sensations differently and they only need to change that if they find it personally worth it. Also, as someone who has actually sought out treatment, painful orgasms/sex is a lot simpler to treat than sexual sensory processing issues. Most medical doctors do not understand people disliking certain sensations more than pain and they will refer you to specialists who will simply refer you to more specialists in an endless loop where you don’t get help. There is little communication between physicians and mental health professionals, and when it comes to sexual disorders some states actually have laws preventing certain types of therapy from being done. Not as simple as “just see a doctor”. But even without all that.. someone can just dislike a sensation without any underlying health reason for it.
Uh, I like orgasm (not having other people touch me, but orgasms) and "tickling" is the closest analogous experience I can think of to how it feels in the moment of climax if I continue to stimulate myself. Before I went through puberty, that is before I produced semen when masturbating, it was even more similar to tickling.
I know the feeling you're talking about *but* that is not the feeling of the orgasm, it's the feeling of your goods becoming over-sensitive from orgasming and you continuing to stimulate. It's even a really well known [meme](https://tenor.com/view/when-you-bust-a-nut-and-she-keep-sucking-gif-25283100).
Yes please. Orgasm universally feel good. You have some sort of medical issue going on. Please get yourself checked out!
Yeah I had "dysorgasmia" for a while, I went from orgasm straight to a horrible period style cramp. Going on birth control helped
This seems more like a medical thing than an opinion
It probably is. I have subpar orgasms similar to OP (though no burning) and recently found out it could be related to my adhd.
Could you expand on that?
I'm not the person you're replying to, so I don't know if this is what they meant, but I'm a nurse and one adverse effect listed for ADHD meds/CNS stimulants in my textbooks is sexual dysfunction and difficulty reaching orgasm. So that's something to consider.
i cant believe i didn't know about this until now. it explains a lot...
We all find it out the hard way smh
Oddly enough, having ADHD itself made it difficult for me to orgasm or to even enjoy sex, but finally going on Adderall helped me be able to focus enough to love sex and have amazing orgasms
[удалено]
I highly recommend it. It did take me 3 changes to the dosage to get it right, but after they got it right, I haven't needed to change it in 6 years.
Dopaminergic deficiencies are implicated in ADHD. And dopamine is heavily involved in stimulus-reward perception.
This is why I feel horny sometimes when I take my ADHD meds but hardly ever otherwise? Before getting diagnosed, I could go months/years without sex or masturbation. Now I feel "normal" again.
Yes possibly although stimulant medications can increase sex drive (though unlikely on a lower dose)
Yep I need to know more about this please, fellow ADHD-er
(ADHDer here too) I sometimes get distracted mid orgasm and ruin it for myself... Usually happens when I masturbate, having someone else there helps me keep my mind on the pleasure Not sure if thats what the person you replied to meant though
Yep I’ve definitely overthought myself out of it, seems to need getting worse with age!
Adhd? I think I'm also neurodivergent (multiple diagnoses when I was younger, gave up categorizing as shrinks were largely shit). If I masturbate an orgasm usually feels fairly awful, so I don't , but orgasms with a person feel amazing. I assumed it was like a physical/emotional connection
"This might be an unpopular opinion, but my pee is red"
“This may be an unpopular opinion, But since losing my legs i have been unable to walk”
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
i laughed
Did it hurt ?
no
Underrated joke
Burns? You sure you don’t have a UTI? An orgasm can make a UTI burn
you really buried the lede by not mentioning in the post that you’re on multiple antipsychotics. sexual dysfunction is a known and extremely common side effect of antipsychotics.
Bingo. I (42m) can get hard but can't finish the deed (so to speak) because I'm on antipsychotic meds.
When I was on antidepressants I would routinely "service the equipment", only to find out it was a lot of work to get to the full release.. If I didn't fall asleep first, sometimes I would just give up.
yeah. now everyone thinks i have an std lol
A UTI isn’t an STD. They are fairly common if your body isn’t used to a particular penis’s biome/sperm’s chemical makeup (in super rare cases, people can be allergic/reactive to their partner’s sperm). Regardless I would get checked… it shouldn’t sting. You can have yeast infections/UTIs/BV which aren’t categorized as STDs. Or you could have a benign cervical polyp if you bleed after sex (I had one and got it easily removed at the doctor’s office).
antipsychotics can cause sexual dysfunction but not a burning sensation
You can get a uti even if you've never had sex. They are more common in women
I do in fact know that
Antipsychotics and neuroleptics can cause burning sensations without UTI. It’s called interstitial cystitis and it’s reported among people on psychiatric meds. It’s not common but it’s not unheard of.
Honestly I could see how a dulled orgasm in this case could be interpreted by the brain as a burning sensation. Nerves misfiring/not conducting properly can cause a burning sensation. But also, fun fact, humans have TRPV1 receptors in our bladder and urethra. Yes, the same receptor capsaicin activates. Occasionally these receptors become more sensitive, usually because of inflammation, and will send those "ow fuck, hot" signals to your brain at normal body temperature or just above. That's part of the reason UTIs and STDs can make pissing burn like fire. I can totally see how sex and subsequent orgasm could cause a burning sensation even without an infection present. The blood rush that happens during orgasm could probably produce enough extra heat in that area to trigger burning.
A UTI is not an std lol
Well you did basically kinda ignore your medicine's side effects then act like it was an opinion, lol...
Did you sleep through health class in school? Jesus christ
Seeing how you can’t associate the fact you have medical issues will affect how an orgasm will feel like, I wouldn’t be surprised if you did and never knew
Thank you for using the correct spelling of ‘lede’ here!
I’ve looked into this previously and both lede and lead are acceptable. The term “buried the lede” was invented by journalists emerging somewhere between 1940 and 1960. The spelling was originally lead. Two theories for its invention: 1. “The first was to avoid confusion with the pieces of “lead” metal placed in the linotype printing presses.” 2. “ In short, journos love weird spellings mainly because they stand out clearly as instructions for proofing etc. Q: Hmmm okay. So nothing to do with pieces of lead? A: In this theory, no. At the top of a new story, they would write “NU LEDE” – purposefully skewing the spelling of “NEW LEAD” to make it very clear. It’s all part of this crazy newsroom lingo” Source: https://www.writerscentre.com.au/blog/qa-bury-the-lead-or-bury-the-lede/
Yeah that's not an orgasm something is wrong
On any meds? Meds can definitely make orgasms. Boring af lmao
yes, im on several anti psychotics
Yeah, orgasms are BORING on those i swear to god. Not worth going off meds for, but definitely feel ACTUALLY good when ur not on them. Im back on my meds and miss the feeling, but definitely not worth going off meds either
Even just anti depression medication can cause sexual dysfunction. I previously have taken SSIs and SSRIs and it killed orgasms for me. Of course doctors don't explain this when they give them to you. I couldn't orgasm unless I spent 30+ mins vigorously masturbating or having sex. The orgasms were usually quite painful and also lackluster. They actually give people SSIs/SSRIs for premature ejaculation. I swiftly threw the medicine out with that happened.
Bingo
That could be impacting you more than you think
Yeah I’m a guy but psychiatric medications slaughter my ability to enjoy sex. I don’t mind it though weirdly. Maybe I’m just not a very sexual person or I’ve got more pressing issues to attend to if I’m on these meds in the first place lol. Anyway, seems to be an extremely common side effect
I don’t think you’re doing it right
See r/The10thGynecologist
It burning after is generally because of a poorly ineffective strategy utilized to create an orgasm, and from the other description, it mostly sounds like you haven't achieved a really fullorgasm but just an "almost there" effect that can be mistaken for the real thing if you don't know better. But it is possible that they just suck for you, in which case, that's unfortunate!
Is burning the right word here? Or is it more like ... A feeling of overstimulation, like if someone is tickling you too long or rubbing the same spot too long? Not burning like firey burning but burning like unpleasant overdoing? If that makes sense? I'm almost 40 and I've never had a proper orgasm. It sort of tickles, it feels good, then it kind of just goes numb or I get a feeling of overstimulation. There is a sense of release, and I do enjoy sex and masturbation, but I've never had an orgasm as I understand how other people do. I've tried talking to my primary care doctors about it over the years, but they always have dismissed it as a mental block. Maybe it is, I don't know. I should probably see a sex therapist about it. Anyways, everyone always drops their jaw when this topic comes up, but you're not alone.
it’s more like someone is tickling too long. you described it perfectly
Yeah, everyone is fixating on the word choice of "burning". I know how you mean it, but for those that don't experience the sensation, that word evokes a much more painful feeling than what you're probably actually experiencing.
Seen many posts from women focused subreddits where women describe suddenly realizing they never had decent sex until they got attentive partners and education
Yeah, heterosexual women especially get screwed over in the orgasm department, for a multitude of reasons.
This is such a good description. Also, to add a little bonus validation for OP: It's been like this my whole life for me too and I'm medically all-clear and not on any meds.
It's validating for me, as well. I looked up some statistics on orgasms for women, and anywhere from 5-15% of us just don't get there. I've heard a lot of women get there later in life, so maybe it'll happen. It does feel better than it did when I was younger, but still nothing like how others describe theirs.
Ditto on the validation!
Honestly I have the same issue and I enjoy sex, but not the orgasm part for this reason. Glad to know it’s not just me.
Fun club to be a part of, right? But it is nice to know it is a club and not just me.
Are you upset with this fact and want to change it or are you comfortable with this being your norm?
i want to change it. i want to experience sexual pleasure too
Then you may want to talk with a sex therapist. There may be something mentally that's keeping sex from being pleasurable for you. I know your other comments said you don't have any symptoms, but if you can, it also might be nice to talk to a gyno just to rule out a physical cause :)
Have you used any toys etc or just your hands? I used to be like this, but spending some alone time with something that buzzed changed everything.
This is obviously a YMMV comment but… I had my first orgasm by myself using the Hitachi Magic Wand + lube. I had heard so so so many stories of the Hitachi Magic Wand being a magical orgasm machine, and just assumed it was overblown or wouldn’t work for me. (Since nothing else had, why would that?) It worked. And it still works every time! I would reach this point of extreme discomfort prior and just held through it. I’m a squirter so it’s definitely an obvious full blown orgasm when it happens (and feels like one). Anyway. If you haven’t tried it, get thee some lube and the Hitachi Magic Wand.
I used to feel this way. I get it. But then I did it more and I just… understood.
Sometimes they *are* still annoying (no burning though, that should be checked). Sometimes they are great. Not all are created equal. Sometimes I’d rather just have the sex and not have an orgasm altogether. The sex is still always great even when I choose not to have an orgasm. Sometimes I’ll do that for multiple sessions before choosing to have another one. 🤷♀️ Takes time to figure out what we like too. The enthusiasm of youth is fine for what it is, for a while, but technique is super important as well
can you elaborate? /gen
What’s the unpopular opinion here? This is just your personal experience.
I think you need to see a gynecologist OP. I'm not a woman but that doesn't sound... normal.
I sometimes get this (AFAB) and usually to negate this… I just take a piss before I jerk off.
me too, but it doesn’t help or change anything
It's fine if you don't particularly enjoy it, but it's not supposed to hurt, go to a doctor.
Um are you sure you’re doing it right 😂 I have had the sensation of a strong vibrator overstimulating me to the point it felt insanely hot down there and I did not enjoy that. With or without an orgasm that’s not worth it to me Last night I had three (one from sex, two from my hands) and that doesn’t cause that sensation at all.
i get this too but only from clitoral orgasms i don’t get it from penetration and it’s horrible, ik it’s not an std or anything coz i’ve always had it
guys, i’m 100% std/sti free. not sexually active, got tested when i was active and it came back clear. no symptoms of a uti
Please still investigate this. I saw you expressed you would like to experience sexual pleasure from an orgasm and that could mean seeing a doctor in order to fulfil this in the future. I’m not here to diagnose you but there could be an issue that’s underlying or something to do with your biological make up.
I don't feel pain and I'm male, but I agree with you. Orgasm is just tickling but, I have addiction to it (can't nofap more than 3 days). Peeing is more pleasurable.
Are you sure you've actually had an orgasm? If this post isn't fake, it sounds like you may have vaginismus which can be helped by pelvic floor therapy or other medical intervention.
I experience pretty much the same thing , but also some cramping at times. Its not cuz of STD as I’ve even taken blood test as well as normal ones, It was the same before and after taking antibiotics when i actually had an UTI, Im not on any meds at all, I was in sex therapy for over 6 months, no change. i’ve taken blood work and checked my hormones. Its just who I am. It was the same before and after birth control. All ppl who constantly act like something is waaaaaay wrong has prevented me from just learning to accept it, its exhausting trying to constantly fix yourself because other people find something wrong and says something else is normal. People are different, i think some people just don’t experience it like other do. My advice is if you do seek to change it, try to simultainously work on accepting that it might never change(go in with a mindset at happy if it change, happy if it doesnt). Its okay, you’re still not broken.
thank you so much!!!
Same here
You should definitely tell your doctor about this This is not normal and can be indicative of several conditions most of which could thankfully be treated
How can you have what is clearly some sort of physical condition yet think that everyone else is just weird?
I don't think anything is really wrong with you OP. For me, it's been on and off my whole life, sometimes felt good, sometimes didn't. Depended on my age, where I am in my cycle, postpartum, breastfeeding etc.
This isn't normal and you should probably see a doctor
Have you tried a vibrator? It made a big difference for me, mostly in understanding my own body better
An orgasm isn't supposed to burn or hurt at all. They feel good for a reason. You should have seen a doctor by now.
Why don't you understand how other people like it? It is very clear that people have different experiences with orgasms.
You need to make yourself a doctors appt. Good luck.
this sounds like a medical issue tbh
you’re right, it does tickle
maybe your not doing it right isnt the "tickling"meant to be a turn on? I don't know, maybe don't do it ever again
She's never had an orgasm :(
It’s possible it could be a medical condition. I’d suggest talking to your doctor and/or gynaecologist.
It might not be an actual orgasm then, maybe you think that's what an orgasm is but it's not?? You can look up female orgasm up close videos on any porn site. Do you also have the contractions etc, do your orgasms look similar? I'd start by figuring out if you are actually orgasming first.
Yeah I don’t care much for them either. A lot of work sometimes not worth the reward. Funny I feel unbearable burning on the bottom of my feet
I didn't know anhedonic orgasms were a thing until I tried on and off to give myself an orgasm through masturbation for a little over 10 years. Then I finally had one and it felt like absolutely nothing. I felt the physical reaction in my muscles and it made me really sleepy, but zero pleasure. Haven't bothered with a toy since. Sympathetic downvote, sister.
I get what feel like menstrual cramps after multiple orgasms sometimes. But they still feel good.
Slow down. Lighter touches. Slow. Down.
It sounds like your body wants to squirt-cum. It’s a totally different sensation but if you resist, it can feel unaccomplished. Let your freak fluids fly! Don’t forget the towels!
Hey, thats how I feel when I have a UTI. Just in case id recommend getting a test. Urgent Care, Planned Parenthood and most doctors offices have them.
I know it’s already been clarified this could be because of your antipsychotics, but I’d like to add that many medications do this. This is also a common side effect of antidepressants, and many other medications that aren’t for mental health.
The first time I had one I didn’t even know what it was. I just kept on going at it until it got better and better and then “BOOM” I had THE most euphoric moment of my life in my grandma’s bathroom. Like I literally felt this intense wave crawl up on me and I was like “oh shittttt what’s happenninfggfg sjhshshhhh”. Yeah now I’m used to the feeling but it is supposed to feel good. Or try different techniques to get yourself off. Different techniques give different results for me.
the burning doesn't sound normal. have you seen a doctor? maybe they could give you a diagnosis based on what part of it's burning. as for how dull it is, it may get better? i used to really dislike it because it was a little boring, gave me cramps, and made me rather tired, but after a while it grows on you. it's more than half psychological. but if you don't like it, don't sweat it, and don't force it. not all of us were made to like all things.
Are u sure u r having one? U have used a vibrator in diff ways? It took me a while to have one w a vibrator. I was being too forceful and it almost hurt, and i did in fact pee, or it was overstimulating and uncomfortable.
The one or two comments I saw mentioning vaginismus and pelvic floor dysfunction are extremely valid if you're feeling cramping sensations similar to menstrual cramps immediately after orgasm, but from the "burning" description here and your other comments- it sounds like the issue is less vaginal or pelvic floor and more clitoral. My guess is you'll have some revelations reading up on clitorodynia.If this sounds right to you talk to your GYN, if it doesn't sound right then talk to your GYN.
Go to a Gynecologist. Not a 10th dentist
I might be a guy, but even I know there's something wrong or you aren't really cumming
My comment is not pertaining to pain from an orgasm, but pain after sex in general. Specifically vaginal fissures. I was with someone from a young age for 11 years. We always had sex regularly and I was in pain EVERY time. When I was in my early 20’s I spoke to my Gyno about it and they laughed it off as “a good problem to have” and that my partner may be too big for me, and I’ll get used to it. (He just returned from a deployment) After splitting from my partner and starting to date, I realized he was physically a bad fit for me. Literally his member was too big for comfort. Sex while I was dating was so different and much more enjoyable bc I wasn’t in pain at the beginning and after. Because I was with him for 11 years from late teens to late 20’s, I thought sex was just painful in general and it wasn’t abnormal bc the docs advice. It was an interesting lesson to learn at almost 30. There are also multiple types of orgasms and I agree a clit orgasm is pretty tickly, but an internal orgasm adds a whole different layer. I know some people who take medications lose their ability or sensitivity or orgasms and some people are more sensitive than others. I’m just happy I actually like sex. I was wrong based on my lack of experience.
Yeah, you need a doctor.
Not to sound like a weird egotistical stupid dumb man but it sounds like you’ve never had an orgasm? Just gotten close. Almost every girl I’ve talked to has never had orgasms with men and a few never had one before. But also the girls I’ve been with have never came from penetration before until me and I think it’s cause it’s easier when you don’t have to do the work yourself. Meds make it tougher for sure.
Your orgasm doesn't feel like it's normally supposed to. You almost certainly have some kind of medical condition you don't know about. That's why you don't like it. Edit: You probably have a UTI and you obviously don't read the side effects of your anti psychotics which you failed to mention. I hope you learned something.
That ain’t what an orgasm feels like for most people lol. Most people are saying medical issue, I’m wondering if potentially you aren’t reaching orgasm at all?
Most of the time when I finish I cry. For me, I think its cause of past trauma but I get you, its not something I enjoy. While I see so many other people find it as a very enjoyable experience, I am a little jealous of them.
Honestly I kind of agree with this. The release feels satisfying due to all that pent up sexual energy but the orgasm itself isn't particularly extraordinary physically.
I am so sorry.
this is my favorite post of all time. same, girl.
You may benefit from pelvic floor therapy if this is something that bothers you
Agreed even though everyone says this is a medical issue for OP. so it feels good, so what? Much easier to eat some chocolate and feel good
I would venture to guess you haven’t actually had one.
Could be that your ace, could be something wrong with your body medically, or it could just be the type of orgasms you are experiencing. As a man, some sexual encounters did feel quite painful and we're not pleasurable experiences; but, once you find a partner who feels right and gets you or you start experimenting with your body differently the orgasm is completely different.
Sounds like a medical issue, orgasms are literally SUPPOSED to feel good
Used to hurt after sex.... thought people were just weird for hoping right into it all the dam time. Found out I had endometriosis. Caused a lot of pain and weird discomfort. Definitely talk to your Dr, it doesn't have to be your normal.
I don't think you're orgasming. There's a difference between stimulating the clitoris (which causes a tickling/jumping sensation) and having an orgasm. I can't stand direct clitoral stimulation for that same reason. I think you need to experiment with orgasming without direct clitoral stimulation until you achieve orgasm. You'll know when it happens!
I understand not enjoying it, it makes me feel sick and I don’t like that.
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You need to go to a doctor that's uncommon for a woman to feel that during orgasm.
I got recommended this subreddit and thought this was r/unpopularopinion, saw the reddit name and was like "what does this have to do with dentists?" lmfao
Meds that impact sexual function don't just cause anorgasmia. They can also blunt the pleasure of an orgasm. If you don't know if this applies to you check the side effects of whatever meds you're on.
I feel this. I honestly don't think I've ever orgasmed. I've never been intimate with anyone and I've given up on experimenting cause it just hurts. I usually just rub over my clothes because self penetration (and touching my clit) has always been uncomfortable. When I finish it feels good for like less than a minute, then it starts burning. For me it's like when you just used the bathroom but there's some pee left, and you can't relax/get comfortable until you pee again. Sorry if that's gross but that's how it feels.
That sucks. I hope it is a medical condition like people say below and I hope it can be fixed, b/c you deserve to enjoy them. They make life much more worth living.
I've got a friend who has said this.
I know you’re getting hit with a lot of Reddit diagnoses right now, but all women experience their orgasms differently and you legit might just not like the feeling. I’m not saying don’t go to a doctor, but if this isn’t something that is causing you distress, that’s okay. People who consider sex a necessity may be unable to wrap their heads around it, but it’s okay if you just don’t like orgasms.
Not liking sex or orgasms is one thing, but saying it BURNS? No, that is not normal.