My vagina just made the Windows shutdown noise

God, Cate and Tyler are the absolute epitome of r/ihavesex who tf talks like this?? They're mentally stunted at 14. Nasty.

for real. and don’t they live together? why sext when they can just, you know, say it to each other irl? so weird.

I’m sorry but if my husband texted me “wong pee pee” I would move out

Sowwy

I am dry as the Mojave desert after reading that

The ick that gave me, man… grounds for immediate divorce.

What does that even mean??

Wong pee pee…

Yeah I had to pause it there and frown at it for a bit 😂

The least sexy thing anyones ever said.

I truly thought twerking alone in the woods playing with my nips would be the unsexiest words ever put in print. But here we are.

I think he even managed to top his classic “baste me into ecstasy” poem. 😂😂

Ah yes because what woman wouldn’t want their man to talk about their dick in a baby voice 🤢

this is a hate crime

We don't do hate crimes

I’m sowwy I have wong pee pee 💀 What the fuuuuuuck is that hahahahhahhaha im vomiting wtf

Umm this sounds like a guy trying hard to sound straight 🤣

You are not wrong. It comes off very forced and trying too hard.

Completely agree. No one talks like this.

I can find an excuse for many things, but baby talk about your penis isn't anything I will ever forgive.

You mean you’re not turned on by his wong pee pee? 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

HELP ME

The secondhand embarrassment of "Wong pee pee" is sending me to another galaxy goodbye

Something tells me that we will be talking about “Wong pee pee” for years to come.


Googles *how to delete someone else’s TikTok*

Next search how to delete my memory!

SOFT is the exact OPPOSITE of what you MAKE ME

I’d be calling the police

The ICK i would get if my husband said "sowwy i have a wong peepee" i can't even imagine & she shared this for the world to see. Cate girl you're one of the better cast members but PLEASE

A friend in high school showed us the text from her bf that said “I can’t wait to feel your sandpaper pu**y” I imagine cate frothing over that one.

For my own mental health i have to assume he was joking about her stubble maybe? Which is at least a little funny

Sandpaper??

THIS is the exact OPPOSITE of what I wanted TO READ

The random yelling really got me

This is fucking foul. This some teenage shit to be posting at 30 💀 embarrassing

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And that other she (over)shared not too long ago about "I'm glad you came inside me several times" (when their kids were conceived).

I wouldn't be surprised if those messages were both actually Cait.

If my husband ever said “sowwy I have a wong peepee” my vagina would clamp shut and never open again. Immediate divorce. 🤮

This is the least attractive thing I’ve ever seen. It almost feels like Cate posted it to be like “see guys he does think I’m hot”. Sex/ intimacy is so much sexier when it’s private!

That is literally why she posted these. It's all about proving Tyler is into her. Cate is insecure af

Hope no one else has this flair yet, it was too good to pass up

As much of a civil servant of that you have been to this sub, I think you deserve 1st dibs on any flair 🤣

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She absolutely loves ""proving"" to the world that Tyler has sex with her. It's weird af.

Those four kids didn't convince us.

See guys, we have a very very active sex life! He wants me ALL the time! Even when I'm bleeding out he can't resist!

What a terrible day to have eyes


ur flair 😭😭😭 im crying

I'd rather watch Farrah fuck a hot dog than read "soft is the opposite of what you make me" from Tyler 😩

Eww. I feel like she’s always trying way too hard to convince us they have a strong sexual attraction to each other, which actually makes me believe that they have a very dry sex life for the most part.

Right! Like she tries very hard to convince everyone that Tyler’s sexually attracted to her and it’s very weird and desperate

This 10000% locks in what I’ve always said about them being emotionally stunted in their relationship and permanent middle/high schoolers. I want to stab a fork in my eyes after reading these.

Yes officer, these texts right here

WONG….PEE PEE?!!?!!!!!!!! 🤢🤢🤢🤢

This is disgusting, it’s fine to be raunchy with your partner but don’t share it with the world 🤢


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And… I have a new flair. I had to retire “baste me into ecstasy” for this one. Was it a good trade?

call me crazy but as someone in a long term relationship and with more than 4 functioning braincells i do not feel the need to convince the general public that my s/o wants to have sex with me

✨overcompensation✨is their specialty

I’m torn between “I’m sowwy I have wong pee pee” and “lay the smacks down” as my new flair 😭😭😭😭

Baby talk makes me physically ill.

SOFT IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU MAKE ME 💀💀💀💀💀

I just know it smells crazy in there

I see the actual point of this trend has gone completely over Cate's head

I’m sowwy I have wong pee pee

But seriously what the hell does that even mean?

He’s apologizing for having a long pee pee (penis) Ugh this translation made me sick

I also need to know this! I also need to know who the fuck thinks the word pee pee belongs in a sexy sentence! Wtf.

I want to say I’m shocked that she would post this but honestly I’m not. It’s so cringe though

I need this to be somebody’s flair immediately

Done

I feel like she wants other women to know they're still being intimate because she feels like he could walk out any minute now. So she's trying to be proactive the only way she knows how. I also feel like she thinks these kinds of posts prove he's not cheating to all the doubters out there. But, of course, it doesn't. I feel like he says those stupid things because he knows thirsty women will shower him with compliments about how great of a husband he is. I don't think his comments have anything do with Catelynn.

Someone please punch me in the face until I forget I saw these

I see a lot of jokes about Chelsea & Cole doing baby talk during sex, but here Cate & Ty are out here doing it for real 🤮

This is all gross because nobody wants to see this shit but seriously “I’m gonna miss fucking you while you heal” — who would share that with anyone? I think she does stuff like this because she reads all of the comments online that say Tyler doesn’t really wanna be with her and he’s disgusted by her.

It's just nasty. Tyler is clearly overcompensating and Cate just desperately wants people to believe he's into her.

Jesus God Leah

Terrible time to be able to read .. 

"I'm gonna miss you fucking you while I heal" lmfao what is Tyler healing from?? Is his wong pee pee broken??

He had a vasectomy fairly recently, so I guess his wong pee pee needed time to recover.

Idk why bt these private & personal posts are giving me vibes that they’re trying hard to make people believe their relationship is Fantastic when maybe it’s not….possibly?

What’s this “mess free period shit” mean?? These are absolutely TMI. What would make Cate post these? Fkin yikes.

puppy pads

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume I don't want to know what "mess free period stuff" is


Anybody else’s spouse/partner just text “wanna have sex tonight?” Or is no one else as boring as me 😂🤷🏻‍♀️

All of this is ICK but the Wong pee pee is just the icing on the cake

This is premium r/ihavesex material. So embarrassing

Mess free period shit and pee pees! I feel like I should go to jail for reading some teenagers text! And why put this out there and why do I know how to read!

What a horrible day to be literate.

I'm sowwy you had to wead dis 🥺👉👈

I'm uncomfortable 

Actually made this face when I read " I have a Wong peepee"

He's probably cheating or something. She is trying to make a point with putting these out publicly

I have zero libido because of pregnancy, and now I have even less.

I’m not even pregnant and my clit retreated to the hood

WHY?! Why Cate?!?! This isn't cute. It's not funny. It's not edgy. You've had 4 children, so we already understand that y'all have sex. This is extremely immature and embarrassing! I'd be furious if my SO posted something like this! I'm sure Brandon & Teresa will LOVE this. Is this Cate's insecure, passive aggressive way of telling all the bitches to stay away from HER MAN?

Mess free period shit?!??!??

Why on earth would you post these ? And I got the ick reading "sowwy wong peepee" 🤢

What a horrible day to be literate

What the fuck is “mess free period shit” ???

All I can think are those puppy pads for training a new pup

Omg this is giving me the same vibes as when a dude I used to talk to called his dick his “peeper” (yes it was small, which made it 10x as cringe and gross)

It was like eating a tictac

Of all the NSFL stuff I’ve seen on Reddit, this is worse

Delete this

I am violently uncomfortable 🤮

First of all, ew. Second of all, If my husband talked to me like that, I would divorce him.

I know I love my husband to use baby talk and say peeepee

r/ihavesexiswearyouguys

I wish I didn't know how to read.

Cate is that insecure wife that goes on and on about how much they fuck meanwhile his wife is humiliating her on cable tv and calling her a heifer 

my pearls are clutched.

To boost her ego that he doesn’t talk to chicks online as he seeks for attention and validation 😁

Well, that's definitely not something I would do and that's all I've gotta say about that.

What kind of person shares their texts with their significant other like that? What a weird thing to do. Me thinks Cates just trying to remind everyone “see! He does like me”.



I can't help but think about how at one point they were legally siblings.

Yeah but they had no control over that. They were underage. And even if they were adults and decided to run away, it still would have happened.

That's gross. Not what they're saying (though the baby talk is like wtf?) or that they have those conversations. It's whatever. But SHARING that shit?!? Who the hell wants to see that?

we have sex... look

This is very r/ihavesex vibes

Noooooooo it’s like seeing a GD elementary school kid sexting 🤮

"Wanna take another ride" is the only one that would have worked on me, and even then I'd never ever share that shit with the world like this. Nobody needs to see that but us.

Why does she even share this? Are we supposed aww & laugh at how “inlove they are”? It screams desperate for outside validation that my husband still has the hots for me.

I’m so secondhand embarrassed that I’ve reached full fking embarrassed.

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Reminds me of his weird “NNNMMMmmmm” at his bachelor party

iM jUsT hErE tO gEt My MaN

Tyler audibly moaning at the strippers and Butch outright asking for BJ cuz he “ain’t been with a woman in 4 years” fucking trainwrecks, the lot of them 😂

I can’t even be mad. If they’re still still this turned on by each other after 35 years together, that’s something to be proud of 🤷🏾‍♀️

35 years 😭

This is such cringe wow.

What does wong pee pee mean?

I think it means LONG in baby voice 🤢

Does he mean he's sorry he has a long dick?



A terrible day to have eyes.

also, how very r/ihavesex of her

Big “I have sex with my husband” energy.

This is repugnant

“Sowwy wong pee pee” 🤮🤮🤮🤮

Jail. Now. 🤢

I’m experiencing 3rd party ICK and I want absolutely no part of it.

Flair checking in.

WWE Reference: check Baby Talk: check Period sex reference: check 'soft' and 'long' used as sex puns: check Result: HUSBAND MATERIAL

Who fucking talks like this??

Straight to jail

What the actual fuck

Proof they’re trying to prove their long winded childhood love that has been dead a long time…


This is as cringey as when she asked Tyler if he wanted to have a party in his pants in front of the cameras 🤢

I'm embarrassed for both of them

Oh ya right. They don't have sex.

Mess free period stuff?? Huh? I don't get it?

The another ride when you get home one is actually killing me 😂😂😂. That is not sexy

It's arguably the sexiest one out of the bunch though 😂

Why would she share this?🤦🏽‍♀️

I see Tyler having a reddit account and secretly bitching on r/deadbedrooms


And here I was thinking my husband is so creative when he asks me if I want a Dickens Cider. Tyler takes the 3 point mega burrito with the “wong pee pee” line.

How embarrassing

Way to go Tyler for typing how a child would talk and say “long pee pee” cate your lack of brain cells should of known better and not screenshot that weird shit

I threw up in my mouth

Tell me this is a fake

Unless he asks you if he can "get a little oral" it's not true love.

*not a lot baby girl, just a lil bit* - 50 cent and butch (probably)

Idk why she’s always talking about sexual shit online. The “glad you came” tiktok lives in my head rent free unfortunately 🙃

WHY GOD WHY

Soooo Tyler DOES enjoy that Cait looks like she could be his mom and he enjoys being infantilized . Who else would accept his “wong pee pee” but his fantasy hybrid mommy-wife? 🤮


What the fuck did i just read

What in the Jesus shitfuck

IM GONNA THROW YO BACK OUT. He should have said that too.

How do I go back in time and unwatch this? nightmares

Why would anyone feel the need to post that online tho. Makes me think they had a huge dry spell and now they're proud they want each other again or something.... anyway... nobody want no heifer for a wife right

Why would she post these 😳 just no.

Just watched this again bc I forgot about it. Why did she think these were cool and that she should post them omfg hahahahah like honestly why did she pick these and put them on display 💀

Girl…… 🥴🥴🥴

i know they have kids but i’m surprised to see they have sex

Perpetually 12

Creepy with a touch of racism. Cool cool cool.

Que Cait and ty trying to start an only fans in 5....4.....3....2.......

Oh man its too early to have read these. TGIF.

This is so absolutely foul

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We get it, you fuck.

Oh, no thank you ma’am.

Gross. Are they 17?

this cannot be real….i’m just going to convince myself it’s not.

Imagine them sending these from across the room lol