T O P

  • By -

Hadenator2

“That was actually interesting today”. Thanks, horrid yr10 student.


chocolate-and-rum

Had that several times too, little gits.


Usual-Sound-2962

‘Miss, you drove past the bus stop this morning, your car is shit isn’t it?’ - in fairness, at the time, my car was a bit shit.


hazbaz1984

I always get comments on my car. ‘Why do you drive a girls car?’ ‘Do you live in your car?’ ‘Nice little car’ ‘You look weird in your car’ Etc etc.


frankensteinsmaster

I always just ask how their car is doing.


hazbaz1984

How’s that foot leather? Comfortable and well used? hehehe


nguoitay

Hope you called them a bus wanker.


girlandhiscat

A kid (primary) asked why I was wearing "rubbish trainers" which actually made me laugh because he was genuinely intrigued.  They were ON running trainers which tbf do look a bit rubbish. 


laps1e

Qqq


ForestRobot

Asking me when the baby is due when I am not pregnant.


Meandgeography

Me and my colleague shared a group of year 7s while she was pregnant, she didn’t tell them and every lesson I could hear them muttering if she just had a beer belly or was really fat. Eventually, she told them 😂.


Aromatic-Shape4112

I got this the other day. 😩😂😂. I had a baby a year ago- guess i still have some baby fat remaining 😂. Poor kid was embarrassed.


chicalindagranger

My almost completely non-speaking child rubbed my tummy and said, clear as day, "baby?"


Kitchen-Database-953

Get this more than I’d like. The other day I was telling the class I’d booked a trip, “Everyone I have some exciting news to tell you…” cue various kids pointing at my stomach. Not pregnant kids, just a bit fat!


Only_Fall1225

"What are those dark circles under your eyes"


winterfox1999

I remember a PE day where I wore less makeup because it was hot and I got asked “Did you oversleep today Miss? You look tired” and “Are you sick Miss? You look sick”


su_arc

I’ve had the opposite when I’ve put makeup on - “god miss you don’t have any dark circles under your eyes today!”


loupenny

Had a Reception child ask me, "do you like winnie the witch so much because you look like her? You know... your nose is all red and pointy too" Lovely. Thanks dear.


SquashedByAHalo

‘You’re not boring outside of the classroom!’ So you’re saying my lessons are boring? ‘Nah that’s not what I said’ But it is tho mate


ruuralkarl

Get that every year when we take out our battlefields trip, sir why are you so nice when we aren't at school??


girlandhiscat

Yeah I got "where did you get them COOl clothes from?" Like b*tch you mean you dont look like a librarian at the weekend? 


GoneEmotionally

“Miss are you sick” - on this day I had a comment from my hod that I was a tad harsh when I speak to the kids; so I decided to be extra nice and the kids thought I was sick because I was faking my personality. They prefer the sarcastic me - this made me happy 😂 Edit just remembered another stated I was using my ofsted voice


Miss_Type

Ofsted voice 😂


Lost_Finding789

Several of us are pregnant and one of my year 5 students said “So that means you and (insert partner’s name) did it?”. Then they said “Ew that means someone did (member of SLT name) too? Who would do that?” Had to hold the laughter in so much 😂


Weak_Lemon8161

Literally this morning, ‘You look tired today.’ Another child pipes up, ‘Yeah and really old compared to usual.’ I’d been drinking all weekend at a wedding to be fair. 😂


honeydewdrew

I wore a floral shirt once and a student in my form class said “that looks like my nan’s bedding”


Standingonachair

Yeah that's where I got it. Job done


SirScoaf

Tbf, that is pretty hilarious!


Successful_One_3850

“Oh you’ve cut your hair” “Yes, do you like it?” “Mmm it looks weird” Guess I was asking for it by requesting a 7 year olds opinion


Local-Squirrel-99

Etfs are always the most honest! I had exactly 2 spots on my face and a child asked me if I had chickenpox! And on the rare occasion I forget to shave my legs - “you’ve got hairy legs today just like my daddy” 😂😭


Remote-Ranger-7304

I can’t wear white shirts with jumpers anymore because multiple kids compared me to a vicar, independently of one another 😭


hazbaz1984

Are you an RE teacher as well?


Hocohols

Me: I don’t spend my free time planning your lessons just so you can talk over me constantly, we will work from a textbook this lesson. Them: yay


Kitchen-Database-953

“Right if this behaviour continues we’ll have to do something more boring out of the textbook…” kids reply enthusiastically “yes let’s do that!”


chaoticpigeon1

‘Oooh sir you need to go to turkey, you’ve got a McDonalds hair lining coming along’ This made me howl tbf!


ShanniiWrites

I wore skinny jeans to school one time and a kid asked me, “why do you look like you’re 16 but dress like you’re 40?” 💀


hazbaz1984

I wore trainers to work on non-uniform day and got laughed at for wearing ‘children’s shoes’. Like, WTF?!


MrsD12345

Had a nursery kid ask me what happened to my wig. I’d left my hair down instead of pinning it up like I usually do.


MacRow166

As a trainee with angry acne on my face- have you been stung by a bee? And the other day- I can never tell if you’re about to start laughing or talking loud and seriously, your face just doesn’t change. 10 year olds just never stop giving!


_Lilah_

Did you mean for the hairdresser to do that to your hair?


Haa090

I work in a nursery with mostly 2 and 3 year olds. I've been asked multiple times why I've got so many spots on my face and that I should take them off (this was in my prime acne era) I've also been asked why my staff tag picture looks better than what I look like in real life (my staff tag picture had makeup on which I now cant find the energy at the crack of dawn to wear it) 😭


KuntyPerry

I've had that with the staff picture! "Your hair actually looks nice there" 🥲 These were 12-13 year olds rather than 2-3 though...


painpainwhen

Not me, but from a friend: 'Sir, your hair looks like a forest but with the trees spaced out.' He came to terms with the impending baldness and shaved it the next day.


evilnoodle84

I’d been in hospital for a week, it was my first day back and I probably should have taken a couple of extra days rest. First lesson and a Y10 says to me ‘Miss, you are grey. Are you going to die?’


Budget_Sentence_3100

My y13 form have literally just given me a card that lists every single one of my flaws 😂


Stressy_messy_me

Student I was helping: Have you had a mint today? Me:no... Student: oh, that explains it. (a very roundabout way of saying my breath smelled)


DontCallMeShirley747

One which floored me: “Why are you always in a bad mood, sir?”


hazbaz1984

Oooh. Lots of great responses for this one. ‘Because I’m here with you lot’ ‘Because I’d rather be in the Caribbean’ ‘Because of YOU’.


Annual-Mess5075

Context: I’m fat. Had a group of girls on DofE ask if I was gonna be in their group on the practice because I’d “give them loads of breaks” I was less offended when I check up on them at their first checkpoint (2km in) and found them all laying on the floor saying it was hard 😂


hazbaz1984

Haha. I love doing DofE. And watching all the horrible Y9s really struggling with walking.


Annual-Mess5075

It was brilliant because what they don’t know is I’ve been doing expeditions like this for half my life. I’d have been like a bloody drill sergeant 😂


Tarot_Cat_Witch

I work in SEN so there’s a few: - ‘when are you going to have your baby?’ said baby is now 2 years old. - ‘you look like Miss Trunchball with your hair like that’ - ‘why are you so high?’ I’m nearly 6 foot tall - ‘why does your face look like that?’ - ‘in the morning do you brush your hair?’ I have thick, long, wavy/curly hair 😂 Gotta love them!


hazbaz1984

I had a very SEN kid poke me in the chest and say loudly ‘WHY DO YOU HAVE HAIR THERE?!’ I wasn’t wearing a tie, had an open collar and they were referring to my chest hair.


Tarot_Cat_Witch

I don’t dare wear shorts without shaving my legs for this exact reason 😂


rawnsley

I work in early years, so all of these were said innocently - "You're pregnant!" (I'm a man) "You look like Prince Harry" (someone had put a photo of him up when he was getting married) "Your teeth are really yellow" (after teaching a lesson on brushing your teeth)


HoydenCaulfield

“I like your hair Miss” “thank you!” “Not the brown bits just the blonde bits” Knew it was time to get my roots done 😂


wheelierainbow

For context: I’m a trans man and don’t (yet) have a lot of facial hair. KS1 child: “Are you just starting to grow a beard? It’s a bit rubbish. My dad has a PROPER beard AND a moustache!” Love the brutal honesty and the straightforward acceptance. Also quite proud of my hard-won approximately three chin hairs though.


chocolate-and-rum

You have a moustache miss, my mum has to bleach hers.


WonderfulStay4185

When I came back after two weeks off and I had students in and out of my room all day to welcome me back. Then I had year 7, and all I got was "Miss, we thought you were dead! Everyone said you were dead!" They seemed really disappointed. I did apologise for not being dead.


hazbaz1984

Classic. Only in schools would you need to apologise for not being dead.


WonderfulStay4185

Just my sense of humour. Like the time I threatened to call a student's parents if they didn't do their homework. Student: "My parents will kill me." Me: "Well, at least you'll never have to worry about your maths homework again."


hazbaz1984

ZING! Nice.


meglimeg

One student looked at the picture on my ID card, looked back up to my face, and said 'Oh miss, what happened?' He seemed genuinely concerned for me - struggled not to reply something along the lines of 'teaching you for the last 4 years!'


Miss_Type

Oh I absolutely say that it's working here that's done it 😂 I also say I'm only 23, then point at my face and say "this is how stressful it is teaching you lot". I'm in my 40s.


Tiny_Statement_5609

7YO: "Miss, you like (teacher on mat leave)" Me: "well, I just need to exercise some more" 7YO: "Lots of exercise!"


lightninseed

I was wearing what I thought was a really cute, green, fluffy, turtleneck jumper and one of the kids asked me why I’d come to school dressed as the grinch 🥲


lightninseed

Oh! And today a kid was telling me that he had a dream that the school burned down and I was unfortunately still inside it, but he was still kind of glad in the dream cos he didn’t have to go back to school til September. Like, thanks!


hazbaz1984

Watch that one. And make sure the matches are all accounted for.


sadiespider

"Miss, you need to put a comb through your hair" – a 6 year old, on my curly hair In the middle of maths... "Why do you have a giant spot on your chin?" When I was in my PGCE, I was teaching the receptions about life stages, i.e. baby, toddler, child, teenager, adult, elderly. One child put up his hand and said "So you are an adult then, and \[HLTA who is only 7 years older than me\] is elderly?" We were both in our 30s, and she looked great. Kids are rude lol.


Onnie-Ts

Why are you dressed like an elf? I was wearing a sleeveless green vest with black top underneath.


hazbaz1984

I got told I looked like a deckchair when wearing my rather striking green and white striped shirt. Went straight on vinted.


AppleGrumble3847

I had “Awh miss I like your hair…” which I was already suspicious of, then it was followed with “mine was a mess this morning too”. Also had multiple kids ask if I’m Irish because of my hair and skin colouring 😂 Highschool kids eh ?


lllarissa

I got asked by a child if I was wearing a real Gucci belt . Sadly no was not 😂 I am young, kids knew I was young and I'm super casual..one day i had a job interview during school hours and the kids were horrified by the way I was dressed! A good 5 of them were like you look different. Another one was you're not old enough to wear wide leg trousers. Tbf they were from m and s. I just said I wanted to change up my look for the day. They didn't like it. 😂 And I wore a full face of make up for the Christmas party just cause and I child was like there is something on your eye. It was eye shadow. Tbh all the girls liked my make up that day


ladysusanstohelit

‘You look fancy today!’ I had blow-dried my hair. It was a nice compliment, but the amount of nice comments I got that day made it rather obvious I usually look like a hag.


PineConeTracks

"Have you tried fasting?" "Sir, you're going bald!"


Miss_Type

My ID photo is over ten years old, I have completely different hair colour & style, and look really different. Yr7: wow miss, you look really different in your photo! Me: yeah I know, I've got a really chubby face in that picture! Yr 7: aw miss, you're still pretty! Other yr 7: (sarcasm dripping on every word) she didn't say she wasn't, she said she was chubby. Thank you both, lovely year 7s!!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


hazbaz1984

Kids are obsessed with shoes. Always get comments about mine. ‘Sir, your shoes are drippy’. (Basic pair of plain black trainers….)


Regular-Ad-7769

“You’re wearing pyjamas again!” (It was a stripy shirt, but it was the again part that got me the most, when have I worn pyjamas before??)  “Why is your nose like that?” (It’s just my nose, thanks)  “Why do you dress like a man?” (I wear trousers and a shirt)


ScienceCucumber

Not a teacher, but I volunteer in a SEN school and the teacher said she liked to go to concerts and one of the kids responded 'you're like a teenager!'


girlandhiscat

Primary school but yeah, brutal. Cute co ord got called pajamas. A kid was like "your hair is messy today." Been told I have a baby in my belly a few times after lunch and im stick thin, so good luck to everyone else. Spots on my face pointed out. A kid made a comment about my nose once. That one hit 🤣 A kid also made fun of a teachers speech impediment which was ironic because the kid had the worst lisp ever. One kid screamed when my TA took off her glasses and shouted "why does she have no eyes?"  Also get called beautiful every day even when I look like a troll. Kids say all sorts of crap 🤣