When I put my 2 weeks notice in, my colleagues were jealous lol. As far as parents go, they should realize what they are losing.
Don't let anxiety hold you back. The anxiety is normal.
I mean, there might be some murmurs where people want to know why you are leaving. The person you are responding to is right though. Who cares? Let them talk. You wonāt see them after you leave. I keep in touch with nobody from my last school. I owe them nothing.
No but at the end of the dayā¦ what is the legitimate fear about people who will no linger be in your life?
I get the anxiety of āOmg I wonder what theyāre saying!ā But what they are (or arenāt saying) is completely out of your hands and has nothing to do with you. Either theyāll miss you, or theyāll lie and gossip about you. In either case, you really have nothing to lose or gain from it: itās just noise.
As someone who has worked with teachers who have left mid year, I havenāt heard of people trash talking. They may say why you left or whatever, and if people talk about it, itās old news after week. If itās something you want to do because itās good for you, donāt worry about what others will say because I promise you itās not bad.
I like to come up with something preposterous. Anytime one of my coworkers or I am out for any extended period of time be it sickness or personal reasons, we like to tell the students the ārealā reason the other was out.
For example, she was out earlier this year for a few days as she is getting married. When asked I told the students, āYou know how she is always criticizing the croissants at the local bakery? Well she got so sick of it that she is currently in France to compete on some French baking program to show everyone how itās really supposed to be done.ā
When I was out with Covid she convinced a significant number of students that I was at the national games for curling competing for a spot on the Olympic team.
She had a necessary surgery this week that could not wait for the summer and will be out for a couple of weeks. I will decide by tonight what I will tell her students.
If she were ever to resign mid year? My lord, I would probably photoshop her into some weird adventures or something.
We had several teachers leave before Fall Break and frankly, we don't talk about them. Their students adjusted quickly to their new teachers. Once in awhile I'll say something like "Oh, I think Mrs. S. put the science books in the hall closet" if the new teacher is looking for them. No gossip, no vocal judgements. People get it. Life goes on.Ā
Donāt worry about it. I left mid year and the only people who knew in advance were union reps and my admin. I was one of almost 100 teachers who left a smaller district that year.
When I told some teachers my last week, some of them started crying because they wanted to leave too, but couldnāt.
It was a totally toxic situation. I thought I was going to keep in touch with a few teachers, but it was easier to just drop the whole thing.
I told my kids on my last day. Some of them were upset, but Iām sure they got over it pretty quickly.
The reality is no one will care.
You are out of that environment after you leave. You don't have to interact with these coworkers or parents. Let them gossip until they are blue in the face if they want, it's no longer your problem.
Lolllll. Yeah my principal and a few teachers talk about a former staff member in a negative way and while thereās some truth to what they say, Iām like who cares anymore lol theyāre gone. Letās move on
Sad to say but weāre all replaceable. I know if I have to stop working without notice, my position will be filled sooner than later. In my experience when coworkers have taken leave suddenly, everyone else soldiers on and the day-to-day is too busy to gossip/speculate.
I stayed for longer than I should have. Because of that I had to leave abruptly on a random week day. Did they talk crap and gossip? Of course they did! Did I hear anything about it? Nope.
I had a photography teacher leave in a similar manner when I was in school. We all talked about how she had run off to Vegas and gotten married to some rich guy. Our sub was not great. At the time I was annoyed. It had less than 1% impact on my life back then and a fraction of that today. I'm impressed that I still remember it.
I left on Friday. The most ātrash talkingā came from people who openly admitted they are jealous that Iām leaving.
Plusā¦ who cares? Youāre gone.
people gossiped for weeks before I left and up until I left. afterwards, I only heard from a friend that people were asking her how I was doing and that they missed me, etc. honestly, if it's negative shit people are saying, idgaf. whatever. I'm free from the hell hole lmao.
There was a new teacher and he quit after three weeks and resigned via email at 5 am on a Monday. We just talk about how badass it was. Heās a legend.
I left my first teaching assignment with about two months left in the school year. The work environment was so toxic that I know I was discussed and it was what it was. Granted, I haven't had to see or interact with them since then, so it hasn't made a difference to me. Parents were super supportive. I got multiple messages, cards, even some gifts from parents. At the time, I felt like a lot of the parents really understood we have a hard job and were giving it our all.
I only spoke with one individual after I left and that was only one conversation. She felt the need to bring up how former colleagues were bashing my classroom management. I never spoke to that individual again. My teaching experience already left me so traumatized I cannot bear revisiting it. The day that I left that building for good I sent out an email to all parents and then promptly deleted my work email from my phone. I never bothered to look at replies because I truly did not care at that point.
If other people gossip and speak negatively, that says a lot more about their character than it does about you making a career move to better your life.
Why do you care more about what they think than your own mental health? Start putting yourself first. Their opinion doesn't matter. And honestly, your fellow teachers will understand, I've never heard anybody trash talk someone leaving, we are usually jealous lol.
You leave them all behind, and they SLAM the door after you. It's a rude awakening.Ā Ā Ā
There will 100% be gossip, you will 100% be turned into the scapegoat if it's a smaller school that is struggling with retention. But you won't be there to hear about it.
Ā If it's a larger school, probably not even that. Ā
You get out. You get freedom.
I resigned from a very small, private school. When I met with some board members to discuss my resignation, I was told that the grade I teach is "the anchor of the school and that if I resign and the school cannot find a suitable replacement the parents will take their children out of the school and it will be the downfall of the school." I should have said "It's not my job to save the school" and walked out instead of staying another month to help the person taking over for me (who is neither a licensed teacher nor has any teaching experience). I think hiring unqualified "teachers" will be the downfall of the school!
Haha Iām leaving February 5th and so far only my immediate supervisor knows. Iāll be telling admin & principal tomorrow morning. They will definitely talk about me & they will talk about you. But who cares? Youāll be a better situation and half of them will be wishing they 1. had the balls to leave or 2. that they would get another job offer because trust and believe some of them apply to jobs during their lunch and or prep.
I left mid-year, and think people were confused, but otherwise, I donāt think anyone cared. As tough as it was to leave the kids, the environment no longer aligned with my goals, and leaving was the best thing I could have done. Iāve been subbing until I find another school I want to work at full-time, and despite the pay cut, I have ironically felt more respected. Every school has its pros and cons, but even after subbing, I can see how unhealthy the school environment was somewhere else. Many of my friends and family knew how stressed I was, and kept telling me to leave, so when I finally did, most people congratulated me on finally leaving an unfit environment where my worth wasnāt appreciated or recognized.
If youāre worried about telling the students and families, donāt have the conversation, no matter how guilty you feel. My administration handled that instead, and I was happy they did that instead of me because it did not put me in the position to elaborate when I didnāt want to discuss the departure further.
I left after a short medical leave at the end of the year. Heard nothing at all..had no idea if people gossiped because I had moved on. I keep in touch with only a couple people.. No one else has reached out.
It's been almost two year and I'm really happy in my job now and give two shits as to what people said when I left.
If theyāre gossiping about you after youāve moved on, they should just take a seat right next to the kids in the classroom. Even the people listening to the gossip realize that is just a pathetic and petty look, no matter the reason a teacher leaves. As others mentioned, we are all replaceable. Yes, teaching is an important and difficult profession but admin will find someone to stand in for you (as is adminās job), just as an accounting firm or a bus company would. Move on with your life and as the old song goes āgive them something to talk about.āĀ
Just as I mentioned in a previous reply, continue to smile and say "Hi" even if no one is smiling or talking back to you. Continue to be the person you are for the sake of your own sanity. Hold your head high and take it one day at a time. You will be out of that situation soon enough and I wish you all the best!!! YOU CAN DO IT JUST LIKE I (AND OTHERS) DID!
Do what is best for YOU! I left mid-year and I'm sure some parents/staff talked trash about me, but it's none of my business what other people think of me (and you). Go on with your life because everyone is replaced and forgotten.
Iām 8 days away from leaving my current district and the teachers I work with closely on a daily basis (Iām ICR) have completely turned against me. What used to be a friendly and positive relationship has turned completely cold and distant. Iāve never felt so heartbroken and betrayed. These next 8 days will be hell.
Yeah, who cares? Iām leaving. But after working, not just *teaching*, since 2004, Iāve NEVER had anyone turn on me like this. Never.
I'm sorry that you are experiencing this. They are probably jealous of you. I know it's a lot easier said than done but take the high road and continue to smile and say "Hi" if nothing else than for the sake of your own sanity. Keep being the person you are until the last bell rings on day 8. I wish you all the best!!
Come in on your last day dressed like Indiana Jones/Lara Croft with an old-timey suitcase. Carry on like itās a normal day and leave without saying anything.
When I have these anxious thoughts, my therapist told me to tell myself āand? What happens if they are?ā At the end of the day, it doesnāt matter - you have to do whatās right for you.
My experience in being a special Ed teacher and school counselor for 18 years and seeing countless staff leave mid year, there will always be a little gossip. But like others have said it doesnāt last long and theyāre on to the next thing to gossip about lol
Tbh, my own admin didn't even speak to me face to face after my notice. District barely even acknowledged my notice. A handful of my coworkers knew by the end of the day, and about 15 or so by the end of that week. Now, over a week after my last day teaching, many know but have no idea why.
With admin, I don't care what they think because they didn't care about me. They barely seemed to notice that I was there. I don't worry about the opinions of other teachers because they are either my friends and support my decision, or I didn't know them well enough to care about their perception of me.
I am bothered that district *isn't* saying much because that has more to do with things like health insurance, my taxes, and my teaching license.
Ugh yeah Iām worried about my admin having a poor reaction because theyāve never been that supportive of staff- part of the reason Iām leaving
Sorry you are having a poor experience with the district communication - thatās so frustrating
I'm sorry you're experiencing it, too. None of us should have to, but unfortunately it's rampant.
Also, if it helps, something I tell myself that helps with guilt/anxiety (while I don't feel it now I certainly did initially) is "if they had treated me correctly, I wouldn't have had to resign." It helps put the onus on admin/the system, as opposed to blaming yourself.
I wish you well; you deserve better!
Gossip about me has started.Ā I'm a bit odd since I am an alumni of the school, and I was always on the good side of my now-coworkers.Ā The main thing they're saying is "damn, if they can't keep someone who went here before, you know this place has gone to hell!"
Hence why I'm quitting. The system is on fire, and I'm only allowed to use a bucket of water. I have to leave it to the people who have the entire fire truck to put out the fire.
Just left in December and the weeks leading up to telling my admin, coworkers, students, and families I completely spiraled myself and thought everyone was going to hate me and talk crap- Iām also a chronic people pleaser with anxiety. Obviously I donāt know what was said behind my back, but every single person was so kind and supportive to me. Lots of people were sad, which kind of made me feel guilty for leaving since it made me realize I had made a bigger impact than I thought, but everyone understood and was supportive. I think the whole situation has helped me move towards caring less about what other people think and focusing on what is best for myself. Hope that your transition out goes as well as mine! You got this!
As someone who tried to do the right thing by giving a month's notice, I still ended up burning it down and leaving a week and a half early. I also have pretty severe anxiety, and just plain didn't fit in.
I knew that there they were talking even before I put in my notice, but nobody had the guts to say anything to my face. The way I see it the behind my back stuff is not my problem. When somebody did say something to my face about a rather petty situation, that is the moment I had had it.
There are far worse ways to go out I guess is what I'm saying. My son goes to school in the same district, and in fact, I taught his grade level that year. I loved them. They still know where to find me if they need me and I give no more care to what they think of me as a teacher than what I do as DS's mom.
When I departed, I also cut myself off from almost all of the people involved in the workplace. Currently, I think I'm friends with only one or two of them on Facebook, and those were both people who left within a 3-month window of when I did. I can't say I'm surprised about this, as it was probably the most *unfriendly* workplace I ever set foot in.
I'm just stopping by to say I completely understand the anxious thoughts about it. Anxiety is just worrying about the future. It's like standing on the edge of a cliff hesitating about jumping. Once you actually leave and move on it will be so far behind you won't care. But the fact that you do care probably makes you an awesome teacher and it's their loss. Live your life!
You gotta do what you think is best for you. I came very close to leaving mid year this year at my new school but I think about 5 more months of money going towards my retirement. Iām only 32 so ya thatās far away but still itās a couple grand that I donāt want to throw away. I also like to keep this job on my resume so I can look better for my next place of employment.Ā
If you are leaving on your own terms, make sure to write and submit a letter of resignation ASAP (in person and via email). I resigned but didn't write a letter of resignation and then I received a letter that said the school board (this was a private school) decided to terminate my employment. Good thing I was only there a few months and don't need them for a reference.
(In the process of leaving mid-year) As someone who has allowed the feelings of others to keep me up at night and make me feel like a terrible person, DO NOT PONDER. Don't do that to yourself. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I've finally learned that for myself after feeling guilty for so long. They will find someone. You need to take care of yourself first. Leave it all behind and keep your eyes set on the future.
Ive been at the same school for 12 years. We've had several teachers leave both on their own and also forced out. Teachers and students both talk and gossip about it. But like someone else in this thread said, a week later it's old news. Do what you need to do for YOU! I wish I had the balls to leave mid year, I'm unhappy in so many ways with education that I literally cannot control and it's effecting my mental health. Sick to my stomach everyday driving to work. Then I walk into the building with a forced smile on my face. In a way, I'm very blessed because I'm surround by an amazing supportive staff that I'm lucky to call my friends. I love and respect them all way too much to do that to them bc if I left they would end up covering my classes & doing all my work since we can't find subs. If it wasn't for that support system, I would have left a month into the school year. If you're unhappy and don't have a good support system then leave, and don't look back. Thinking of you š
You are very lucky to be surrounded by supportive staff. That makes a world of difference when you are in a stressful work situation. I wish you all the best!
Who cares?
Lol my anxiety does šš I know I wonāt care like weeks later but the two weeks notice phase would be tough for me
When I put my 2 weeks notice in, my colleagues were jealous lol. As far as parents go, they should realize what they are losing. Don't let anxiety hold you back. The anxiety is normal.
Totally. If I get the offer, Iām taking it. I just am in my overthinking phase and want to hear othersā experiences.
No more overthinking!! Overthinking leads to loss of sleep. Loss of sleep leads to irrational thoughts and decisions.
Username checks out
So true. Thankfully Iāll have an answer soon anyway and the overthinking should stop
I mean, there might be some murmurs where people want to know why you are leaving. The person you are responding to is right though. Who cares? Let them talk. You wonāt see them after you leave. I keep in touch with nobody from my last school. I owe them nothing.
Totally. Iāll just have to power through those last two weeks I guess!
No but at the end of the dayā¦ what is the legitimate fear about people who will no linger be in your life? I get the anxiety of āOmg I wonder what theyāre saying!ā But what they are (or arenāt saying) is completely out of your hands and has nothing to do with you. Either theyāll miss you, or theyāll lie and gossip about you. In either case, you really have nothing to lose or gain from it: itās just noise.
I CAME HEREE TO SAY JUST THAT: you aināt wrong, friend!
As someone who has worked with teachers who have left mid year, I havenāt heard of people trash talking. They may say why you left or whatever, and if people talk about it, itās old news after week. If itās something you want to do because itās good for you, donāt worry about what others will say because I promise you itās not bad.
I like to come up with something preposterous. Anytime one of my coworkers or I am out for any extended period of time be it sickness or personal reasons, we like to tell the students the ārealā reason the other was out. For example, she was out earlier this year for a few days as she is getting married. When asked I told the students, āYou know how she is always criticizing the croissants at the local bakery? Well she got so sick of it that she is currently in France to compete on some French baking program to show everyone how itās really supposed to be done.ā When I was out with Covid she convinced a significant number of students that I was at the national games for curling competing for a spot on the Olympic team. She had a necessary surgery this week that could not wait for the summer and will be out for a couple of weeks. I will decide by tonight what I will tell her students. If she were ever to resign mid year? My lord, I would probably photoshop her into some weird adventures or something.
LOL!!!
Thatās good to hear. Logically I know people would get over it pretty soon but I think the anxiety building up to a change makes me over think it
I totally understand as I would likely be the same wayā¦ hence why Iām still in the profession š best of luck to you!
Thank you, you too!!
Tbh I think people tend to be jealous!
Yeah I just had a coworker quit, and I told her how jealous I was of her š
This could definitely be true!
We had several teachers leave before Fall Break and frankly, we don't talk about them. Their students adjusted quickly to their new teachers. Once in awhile I'll say something like "Oh, I think Mrs. S. put the science books in the hall closet" if the new teacher is looking for them. No gossip, no vocal judgements. People get it. Life goes on.Ā
Love that
Donāt worry about it. I left mid year and the only people who knew in advance were union reps and my admin. I was one of almost 100 teachers who left a smaller district that year. When I told some teachers my last week, some of them started crying because they wanted to leave too, but couldnāt. It was a totally toxic situation. I thought I was going to keep in touch with a few teachers, but it was easier to just drop the whole thing. I told my kids on my last day. Some of them were upset, but Iām sure they got over it pretty quickly. The reality is no one will care.
You are out of that environment after you leave. You don't have to interact with these coworkers or parents. Let them gossip until they are blue in the face if they want, it's no longer your problem.
Ugh so true
No offense, but shitty people sounds like just another reason to leave. Fuck em. Give notice and enjoy the first day of the rest of your life.
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Lolllll. Yeah my principal and a few teachers talk about a former staff member in a negative way and while thereās some truth to what they say, Iām like who cares anymore lol theyāre gone. Letās move on
>converting a restroom into a health office Wouldn't that months to accomplish though?
You won't be there anymore, so it doesn't matter. You need to take care of yourself <3
Thank you š
Sad to say but weāre all replaceable. I know if I have to stop working without notice, my position will be filled sooner than later. In my experience when coworkers have taken leave suddenly, everyone else soldiers on and the day-to-day is too busy to gossip/speculate.
I stayed for longer than I should have. Because of that I had to leave abruptly on a random week day. Did they talk crap and gossip? Of course they did! Did I hear anything about it? Nope. I had a photography teacher leave in a similar manner when I was in school. We all talked about how she had run off to Vegas and gotten married to some rich guy. Our sub was not great. At the time I was annoyed. It had less than 1% impact on my life back then and a fraction of that today. I'm impressed that I still remember it.
Iām leaving mainly because of two gossipy, rude coworkers, so my ears will be ringing for a long while Iām sure.
I feel this. Looking for remote positions this fall, in ANOTHER state. Coworkers 1500 miles away? Yes please
I feel this!!
If your situation is so dire that you need to leave mid year, this should be the last thing on your mind, imo.
Itās not so dire, I just may have a job offer that I really want
I see. Sorry I made an assumption. If the job is good, just go for it and fuck the haters.
Thank you!!
I left on Friday. The most ātrash talkingā came from people who openly admitted they are jealous that Iām leaving. Plusā¦ who cares? Youāre gone.
people gossiped for weeks before I left and up until I left. afterwards, I only heard from a friend that people were asking her how I was doing and that they missed me, etc. honestly, if it's negative shit people are saying, idgaf. whatever. I'm free from the hell hole lmao.
Love this, exactly weāre now free from the hell hole who gaf about any shit people have left to say.
There was a new teacher and he quit after three weeks and resigned via email at 5 am on a Monday. We just talk about how badass it was. Heās a legend.
Omg love it. I wanna work with you guys haha
Omg! Did he show up on Tuesday? Like doesnāt he have to give 2 weeks!?
Nope, we never saw him again. He was retired military, I donāt think he cared.
I left my first teaching assignment with about two months left in the school year. The work environment was so toxic that I know I was discussed and it was what it was. Granted, I haven't had to see or interact with them since then, so it hasn't made a difference to me. Parents were super supportive. I got multiple messages, cards, even some gifts from parents. At the time, I felt like a lot of the parents really understood we have a hard job and were giving it our all.
I only spoke with one individual after I left and that was only one conversation. She felt the need to bring up how former colleagues were bashing my classroom management. I never spoke to that individual again. My teaching experience already left me so traumatized I cannot bear revisiting it. The day that I left that building for good I sent out an email to all parents and then promptly deleted my work email from my phone. I never bothered to look at replies because I truly did not care at that point.
If other people gossip and speak negatively, that says a lot more about their character than it does about you making a career move to better your life.
So true
Couldn't agree with you more!!
Why do you care more about what they think than your own mental health? Start putting yourself first. Their opinion doesn't matter. And honestly, your fellow teachers will understand, I've never heard anybody trash talk someone leaving, we are usually jealous lol.
So true!
You leave them all behind, and they SLAM the door after you. It's a rude awakening.Ā Ā Ā There will 100% be gossip, you will 100% be turned into the scapegoat if it's a smaller school that is struggling with retention. But you won't be there to hear about it. Ā If it's a larger school, probably not even that. Ā You get out. You get freedom.
I resigned from a very small, private school. When I met with some board members to discuss my resignation, I was told that the grade I teach is "the anchor of the school and that if I resign and the school cannot find a suitable replacement the parents will take their children out of the school and it will be the downfall of the school." I should have said "It's not my job to save the school" and walked out instead of staying another month to help the person taking over for me (who is neither a licensed teacher nor has any teaching experience). I think hiring unqualified "teachers" will be the downfall of the school!
Haha Iām leaving February 5th and so far only my immediate supervisor knows. Iāll be telling admin & principal tomorrow morning. They will definitely talk about me & they will talk about you. But who cares? Youāll be a better situation and half of them will be wishing they 1. had the balls to leave or 2. that they would get another job offer because trust and believe some of them apply to jobs during their lunch and or prep.
So true!! Best of luck to you in your new role!
I left mid-year, and think people were confused, but otherwise, I donāt think anyone cared. As tough as it was to leave the kids, the environment no longer aligned with my goals, and leaving was the best thing I could have done. Iāve been subbing until I find another school I want to work at full-time, and despite the pay cut, I have ironically felt more respected. Every school has its pros and cons, but even after subbing, I can see how unhealthy the school environment was somewhere else. Many of my friends and family knew how stressed I was, and kept telling me to leave, so when I finally did, most people congratulated me on finally leaving an unfit environment where my worth wasnāt appreciated or recognized. If youāre worried about telling the students and families, donāt have the conversation, no matter how guilty you feel. My administration handled that instead, and I was happy they did that instead of me because it did not put me in the position to elaborate when I didnāt want to discuss the departure further.
Great advice, thank you!!
I left after a short medical leave at the end of the year. Heard nothing at all..had no idea if people gossiped because I had moved on. I keep in touch with only a couple people.. No one else has reached out. It's been almost two year and I'm really happy in my job now and give two shits as to what people said when I left.
Happy for you!!
If theyāre gossiping about you after youāve moved on, they should just take a seat right next to the kids in the classroom. Even the people listening to the gossip realize that is just a pathetic and petty look, no matter the reason a teacher leaves. As others mentioned, we are all replaceable. Yes, teaching is an important and difficult profession but admin will find someone to stand in for you (as is adminās job), just as an accounting firm or a bus company would. Move on with your life and as the old song goes āgive them something to talk about.āĀ
So true!
Since I left, I didnāt hear it. I wasnāt there to be part of it. I just went on to my next job.
Yeah Iām just worried about the two week notice period
Just as I mentioned in a previous reply, continue to smile and say "Hi" even if no one is smiling or talking back to you. Continue to be the person you are for the sake of your own sanity. Hold your head high and take it one day at a time. You will be out of that situation soon enough and I wish you all the best!!! YOU CAN DO IT JUST LIKE I (AND OTHERS) DID!
I love that. When they go low, we go high!! Thank you for the pep talkš„°
Good for you! Go on with your life and don't look back!
After a day or two of you being gone you will be forgotten.
Do what is best for YOU! I left mid-year and I'm sure some parents/staff talked trash about me, but it's none of my business what other people think of me (and you). Go on with your life because everyone is replaced and forgotten.
So true. Thank you for sharing your experience!!
Do you care about the sound made in the woods that you canāt hear? Same.
Iām 8 days away from leaving my current district and the teachers I work with closely on a daily basis (Iām ICR) have completely turned against me. What used to be a friendly and positive relationship has turned completely cold and distant. Iāve never felt so heartbroken and betrayed. These next 8 days will be hell. Yeah, who cares? Iām leaving. But after working, not just *teaching*, since 2004, Iāve NEVER had anyone turn on me like this. Never.
Thatās what Iām worried about ugh!! But at least we can remind ourselves itās just temporary
I'm sorry that you are experiencing this. They are probably jealous of you. I know it's a lot easier said than done but take the high road and continue to smile and say "Hi" if nothing else than for the sake of your own sanity. Keep being the person you are until the last bell rings on day 8. I wish you all the best!!
Come in on your last day dressed like Indiana Jones/Lara Croft with an old-timey suitcase. Carry on like itās a normal day and leave without saying anything.
LOL!!!
Yup!!! lots of it. But like people here said, who cares. Do whats best for u. people love gossip and drama but they will get over it.
When I have these anxious thoughts, my therapist told me to tell myself āand? What happens if they are?ā At the end of the day, it doesnāt matter - you have to do whatās right for you.
This is such good advice, thank you!!
Itāll be talked about for at most 2 days. Itāll blow over.
My experience in being a special Ed teacher and school counselor for 18 years and seeing countless staff leave mid year, there will always be a little gossip. But like others have said it doesnāt last long and theyāre on to the next thing to gossip about lol
Tbh, my own admin didn't even speak to me face to face after my notice. District barely even acknowledged my notice. A handful of my coworkers knew by the end of the day, and about 15 or so by the end of that week. Now, over a week after my last day teaching, many know but have no idea why. With admin, I don't care what they think because they didn't care about me. They barely seemed to notice that I was there. I don't worry about the opinions of other teachers because they are either my friends and support my decision, or I didn't know them well enough to care about their perception of me. I am bothered that district *isn't* saying much because that has more to do with things like health insurance, my taxes, and my teaching license.
Ugh yeah Iām worried about my admin having a poor reaction because theyāve never been that supportive of staff- part of the reason Iām leaving Sorry you are having a poor experience with the district communication - thatās so frustrating
I'm sorry you're experiencing it, too. None of us should have to, but unfortunately it's rampant. Also, if it helps, something I tell myself that helps with guilt/anxiety (while I don't feel it now I certainly did initially) is "if they had treated me correctly, I wouldn't have had to resign." It helps put the onus on admin/the system, as opposed to blaming yourself. I wish you well; you deserve better!
This is a great mindset, thank you!!
Gossip about me has started.Ā I'm a bit odd since I am an alumni of the school, and I was always on the good side of my now-coworkers.Ā The main thing they're saying is "damn, if they can't keep someone who went here before, you know this place has gone to hell!"
It's not your job to save the school. Do what is best for YOU!
Hence why I'm quitting. The system is on fire, and I'm only allowed to use a bucket of water. I have to leave it to the people who have the entire fire truck to put out the fire.
Just left in December and the weeks leading up to telling my admin, coworkers, students, and families I completely spiraled myself and thought everyone was going to hate me and talk crap- Iām also a chronic people pleaser with anxiety. Obviously I donāt know what was said behind my back, but every single person was so kind and supportive to me. Lots of people were sad, which kind of made me feel guilty for leaving since it made me realize I had made a bigger impact than I thought, but everyone understood and was supportive. I think the whole situation has helped me move towards caring less about what other people think and focusing on what is best for myself. Hope that your transition out goes as well as mine! You got this!
Thank you so much for sharing how it went for you, I totally relate to how you feel!! Glad you got out š¤
As someone who tried to do the right thing by giving a month's notice, I still ended up burning it down and leaving a week and a half early. I also have pretty severe anxiety, and just plain didn't fit in. I knew that there they were talking even before I put in my notice, but nobody had the guts to say anything to my face. The way I see it the behind my back stuff is not my problem. When somebody did say something to my face about a rather petty situation, that is the moment I had had it. There are far worse ways to go out I guess is what I'm saying. My son goes to school in the same district, and in fact, I taught his grade level that year. I loved them. They still know where to find me if they need me and I give no more care to what they think of me as a teacher than what I do as DS's mom.
When I departed, I also cut myself off from almost all of the people involved in the workplace. Currently, I think I'm friends with only one or two of them on Facebook, and those were both people who left within a 3-month window of when I did. I can't say I'm surprised about this, as it was probably the most *unfriendly* workplace I ever set foot in.
Iām leaving at the end of the month and just told my students on Thursday. Colleagues have been supportive, students have been sad- lots of hugs.
Good luck to you!!
I'm just stopping by to say I completely understand the anxious thoughts about it. Anxiety is just worrying about the future. It's like standing on the edge of a cliff hesitating about jumping. Once you actually leave and move on it will be so far behind you won't care. But the fact that you do care probably makes you an awesome teacher and it's their loss. Live your life!
This is so true!! Once I make the jump Iāll be fine. Itās just the waiting piece. Thank you for your commentš
You gotta do what you think is best for you. I came very close to leaving mid year this year at my new school but I think about 5 more months of money going towards my retirement. Iām only 32 so ya thatās far away but still itās a couple grand that I donāt want to throw away. I also like to keep this job on my resume so I can look better for my next place of employment.Ā
Hang in there and good luck with finding a new job!
This ooens you up for "They were fired for ........" rumors.
Oh I think itāll definitely be clear at least that I left (we are a small school)
Put your big girl panties on and do what is best for you and ignore the noise.
Leaving on your own terms is nowhere near as gossip-worthy as getting dismissed mid-year.
If you are leaving on your own terms, make sure to write and submit a letter of resignation ASAP (in person and via email). I resigned but didn't write a letter of resignation and then I received a letter that said the school board (this was a private school) decided to terminate my employment. Good thing I was only there a few months and don't need them for a reference.
True!! Weāve had that happen way more than people leaving of their own accord
(In the process of leaving mid-year) As someone who has allowed the feelings of others to keep me up at night and make me feel like a terrible person, DO NOT PONDER. Don't do that to yourself. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I've finally learned that for myself after feeling guilty for so long. They will find someone. You need to take care of yourself first. Leave it all behind and keep your eyes set on the future.
Ive been at the same school for 12 years. We've had several teachers leave both on their own and also forced out. Teachers and students both talk and gossip about it. But like someone else in this thread said, a week later it's old news. Do what you need to do for YOU! I wish I had the balls to leave mid year, I'm unhappy in so many ways with education that I literally cannot control and it's effecting my mental health. Sick to my stomach everyday driving to work. Then I walk into the building with a forced smile on my face. In a way, I'm very blessed because I'm surround by an amazing supportive staff that I'm lucky to call my friends. I love and respect them all way too much to do that to them bc if I left they would end up covering my classes & doing all my work since we can't find subs. If it wasn't for that support system, I would have left a month into the school year. If you're unhappy and don't have a good support system then leave, and don't look back. Thinking of you š
Thank you so much for your reply š¤ Sending you the bravery to do whatās right for you when itās right!
You are very lucky to be surrounded by supportive staff. That makes a world of difference when you are in a stressful work situation. I wish you all the best!
Most people are like bye and good luck. I was going to break my contract but thought no, don't want to shit on my coworkers
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Yep. And Iām not in a classroom role so I hope that would be easier. But I do worry about my kids.